The Surf Leash Strangler

Chapter 11

There were so many different words running through Veronica's head. Logan would be at the door of her hotel room at any moment, and she wasn't sure what to say. They needed to clear the air; Veronica intended to tell Logan the truth, that she loved him, but she would ruin him. She refused to lie to him, lie to herself. She had done that for nine years, and it had done nothing but cause them pain.

Veronica ran her fingers through her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked tired; the bags under her eyes were hard to ignore. She had changed into some sweats and a tank top when she got back to her room, knowing that after she had spoken with Logan, she would climb into her bed and try not to leave it until she had to. Veronica suspected she wouldn't escape this conversation tear-free, so she had also stopped at the store and grabbed ice cream.

The knock on the door made Veronica's heart jump. He was here. She took a deep breath before opening it.

Logan stood there with his hands buried in his pockets. Veronica noticed that he had bags of his own under his eyes. He smiled warmly as she stepped back, but his eyes looked so sad.

"Hi," she said, her voice cracking.

"Hi." Logan waited, not moving.

"Come in, please." Veronica waited for him to walk past her before she closed the door and leant her back against it.

Logan paused in the centre of her room, taking in the mess she had made. Some of her clothes were on the floor; she had details of the case spread out over the small desk that was on one wall and the half-drunk bottle of wine sitting on her side table. He said, "I thought you would be out working your case."

She nodded. "I got sent home."

"Did you talk back to your supervisor?" A hint of Logan's signature smirk touched the corner of his mouth.

"No." Veronica's only mouth quirked up. "Not this time anyway."

Logan's eyes dropped to his feet.

She said, "I went to speak to one of the unsub's victims, hoping to get an ID. I found her unconscious on her living room floor. Overdose."

"Shit. Is she okay?"

Veronica nodded. "Yeah. She's in the hospital. I plan to go see her tomorrow morning."

He shifted and sat on the edge of her bed.

"I got told to have the rest of the day off to take care of myself." She pushed off the door, picking at her nails as she took a few steps.

"You look tired." Logan was looking straight at her when she looked at him.

She swallowed. "I haven't been sleeping well."

"I know that feeling." His voice was a whisper. "Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you. The way you used to smile at me, how your nose crinkles when you find something genuinely funny. I can remember the way it felt to hold you, to kiss you. And when I wake up, all I can smell is marshmallows."

Veronica wrapped her arms around herself.

"But no matter how much it hurts to wake up and find myself alone, I don't want it to stop." Logan stood from the bed and moved towards her. Veronica shook her head, her feet stumbling backwards, knowing that if he touched her, she would crack. He said, "I love you, Veronica. I will do anything…anything that you want. But I can't let you go. I won't."

Veronica's back hit the door as her first tear fell. She needed to explain; it wasn't fair that he was pouring her heart out, begging her to give him another chance. She so desperately wanted to say yes. She wanted to grab him, kiss him and never stop. But how could she? She had almost killed him eight years ago.

"Veronica, please." Logan's voice cracked; it was full of pain and desperation. "Bobcat, please. Talk to me." His hands cupped her cheeks, and a violent sob ripped out of Veronica. Logan leant his forehead against hers, their noses touching.

Veronica lifted her hands to cup the back of his neck. Her thumbs ran along the skin beneath his ears. "I love you, I do."

Tears fell from Logan's eyes.

"I wish I could have spent the last nine years with you." She sniffed. "I have thought about you every day; no matter how hard I tried to force all of the memories and the feelings down, they just kept screaming at me."

"Why didn't you come back?" he asked.

"Because you deserve better."

Logan frowned. He pulled his head back slightly. "What?"

"You deserve someone better than me. Someone who doesn't ruin everything."

He shook his head. "Veronica—"

"I almost destroyed you, Logan. Dick told me what happened. You almost killed yourself because I abandoned you when I promised you that I wouldn't. I ran away, like a coward, because I fucked up…more than once. I couldn't come back and face you, face anyone because I hurt each and everyone one of you when all you ever did was love me." Veronica's eyes blurred as more tears fell.

Logan moved his thumbs to wipe away her tears; he pressed his lips to her forehead and sighed. "I never wanted you to know what I did, but you are not responsible for my actions, Veronica."

Veronica hiccuped. "I am, though. I fucked everything up between us."

"We both made mistakes."

"No. You were trying to protect me, keep me safe. I was the one who was so determined to be right that I pushed, and I pushed until I went too far. And when I had realised what I had done, I didn't even recognise who I was anymore, and I had no idea how you could love me. So I left; I ran away to Stanford and told myself that it was better if I just stayed away because you would be safe…safe from me." Veronica clung to Logan's shirt. She buried her face into his chest, his arms wrapping around her and holding her tightly against him.

"Veronica, I don't blame you for anything that happened. We both had been through so much that it was surprising either of us functioned at all. Even if you had stayed…at some point, I would have hit rock bottom, with or without you."

Veronica wiped her face.

"If anyone would have broken anything, it would have been me." He pressed a kiss to her hairline. "Your dad came to visit me in the hospital after the second time. I woke up, and he was sitting there, crying. I thought he was going to tell me something had happened to you, and for a moment, I wished I was dead. But no, he was crying because I'd almost died."

Veronica lifted her head and looked up at him.

"Your dad helped me realise that I deserved to have a good life. That just because of how fucked up my family was, didn't mean I had to follow in their footsteps. He told me to find a reason to get myself out of bed every day, so I did."

She asked, "What was the reason?"

"You." Logan smiled softly and cupped her cheek. "You used to tell me I was better than I was, and you were right. I wanted to do something that was worthwhile, make you proud. I knew that there was a chance that I might not see you again, that perhaps you wouldn't want to, but I wanted to make sure that if I ever had the chance to see you again that you wouldn't be disappointed in me."

"Logan…" Veronica pressed her head against his chest. It hurt to know how much pain he had been through. She didn't want to hurt him anymore.

"If you didn't love me, then I would happily let you go. But only if I knew you were happy. But you love me, Veronica. Just like I love you. And I don't care if you think you'll destroy my life or break my heart because I know it's worth it. Every second of every minute of every day that I get to be with you will make any amount of pain worth it."

Lifting her head, Veronica cupped Logan's face and smiled. He was worth it. He wanted her no matter what, and she could tell he had no intention of leaving until she gave into him.

"All we have to do is try," he said.

Veronica slid her fingers through his short hair and nodded.

Logan was swift, bringing his head down to kiss her. he pressed his lips softly against hers like he was worried she would pull away like she had the last time. But Veronica didn't. She demanded more. She pulled his mouth firmly against his, her mouth opened and allowed his tongue to slip inside and taste her.

The spark was still there as they pressed themselves together. Veronica's mouth tingled as she breathed him in. A familiar warmth and need spread through her. Her eyes had fluttered shut, forgetting every other thing, and she let herself become surrounded by everything that was Logan.

Logan grasped her hips and led her backwards. They took a few stumbling steps, their mouths barely shifting to let air in until Logan's legs hit the edge of the bed. He sat down and pulled Veronica into her lap. She shifted in her spot, her pelvis pressing against Logan's lap, feeling how his body was already responding to her.

"I love you," she moaned as he squeezed her thighs.

He kissed the corner of her mouth. "I love you too."

Logan grasped Veronica's thighs and turned them over, pressing Veronica's back into the mattress. He paused for a moment before picking her up and placing her further into the centre of the mattress. Veronica reached out to pull him closer; one hand ran across the slope of his shoulders, feeling the defined muscle beneath his shirt. Logan nibbled on her lips before moving to her neck, his tongue and teeth finding the spots that he had once known so well. It took moments before Veronica was squirming beneath him, her hips lifting up to press her body firmly against his, her body craving more of Logan's touch.

Logan was cradled between her thighs; his lips nibbled and licked a path back to her mouth. Their lips met again, and their tongues swirled together. Veronica could feel the slight hesitation in Logan's movements; his hand slid up her thigh and traced the bottom of her shirt, his fingertips teasing her skin. Veronica wanted nothing more than to peel off each layer between them and feel his skin against hers. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pushed it upwards, letting her hand move across his stomach. Her fingers traced the lines of his defined abs, a small smirk touching her face as she took in his fit body. As a teenager, he had been in shape, but this was something else. She pulled the shirt over his head and ran her head across the bank of his head before pulling him back down for another kiss.

Logan's smiled down at her and moved to drop chaste kisses along her jawline. Veronica turned her head to capture his mouth again; she ranked her teeth across his bottom lip and tightened her legs around his waist. They both moaned into their kiss as her pelvis pressed up against his erection again. Taking her movements as the request for more, Logan reached down between them. He hooked his thumb into the waistline and pushed the material down, rolling off Veronica only for a moment so she could kick off them off. His hand moved up her thigh towards her centre, his fingers brushed across her panties, the lace soaked in her arousal. Veronica gasped at the touch. Logan glanced up to watch as Veronica's eyes clenched shut as his finger pressed against her clit, her mouth falling open.

"Logan." Her voice was rough but desperate.

Veronica found herself needing more. Her head and heart were finally screaming out in unison for more; they needed more of Logan, his touch, his taste. Everything that was him.

Logan moved his hand to slip beneath her soaked panties; his fingers stroked over her sex, pulling a low moan from Veronica. She lifted her head to lock eyes with him, a pleased smirk on his face as he pressed two fingers into her. Veronica's back arched as her body welcomed the pressure of his fingers. Her walls greedily clenching around the digits.

"You're so beautiful," he said. Logan pressed a kiss to her stomach as he started to move his fingers. His strokes were slow, in and then out. Slowly building the swirls of need that were growing inside of Veronica.

Veronica's body was trembling at Logan's touch. One of her hands grasped the comforter beneath them; she clenched at the soft fabric while her other hand grasped Logan's shoulder, her nails digging into his skin as he pressed his thumb to her clit. The pressure seemed to strike the right spot because Veronica's orgasm crashed through her, Logan's name falling from her mouth in a surprised screech.

Veronica laid there panting, her eyes locked on the ceiling as Logan removed her fingers and moved to press scattered kisses along her collarbone, to her neck, then chin. Veronica sighed and lifted her hand to trace the edges of his face.

"I missed you," she said. Leaning up, the kiss is sweet. Her tongue traced Logan's lips before sliding to press a line of kisses down his cheek to his throat.

"I missed you too," said Logan.

Veronica moved her hands from his face, down the length of his neck. She ran her nails across his bare chest, tracing the lines of his sculpted body, pressing kisses along the path she found. Logan moaned at her touch and let her hands travel to his waist. Her fingers moved over his hardened cock, still trapped beneath his jeans. Veronica smiled against his chest, enjoying the fact that she had barely touched him, but he was rock hard.

Veronica made quick work of the button before sliding her hand into his pants. Her fingers went beneath his briefs and wrapped around the base of his cock, making Logan groan, and his eyes roll into the back of his head. She slowly pumped his erection, lifting her feet to push down his jeans and briefs.

"Fuck, Bobcat."

Veronica bit the corner of her lip as she stroked his full length, moving her fingers over the head of his cock, spreading the wetness from the tip down his length. Logan's hand clenched the comforter; his head fell forward and pressed against her shoulder. His deep moans filled her ear.

Lifting his head, Logan moved his free hand to the bottom of Veronica's shirt. He pushed the material up enough to expose her bra. He paused for a moment; his fingers touched the soft lace of the bra that matched the panties she was wearing. He caressed her breast in one hand; his thumb and finger moved to pinch the nipple lightly.

She hissed against his throat; the sparks of pain from her nipples made her press her lower body firmly against his, making it harder for her to keep stroking his length. Logan rolled the nipple back and forth before lowering his head and pressing his mouth to her lace-covered breasts. He pressed a few kisses to the bare tops of her breasts before pushing her bra up and freeing her breasts. Veronica was forced to release his throbbing cock to raise her hands so her bra and shirt could be pulled off. The only thing that remained between them was Veronica's panties.

Logan threw Veronica's shirt and bra to the ground before leaning down to kiss her firmly. The tension between them only grew needy as he deepened the kiss. Veronica trembled with anticipation as he removed the final layer between them before settling comfortably back between her legs. With their eyes locked on one another, Logan shifted his hip to press himself against her folds. Her breathing hitched as the first inch of his length sunk into her.

Veronica's body arched up against Logan, her head falling back, her eyes clenching shut as he stretched her. Veronica felt tears well in her eyes as she realised that she had been stupid to think she could ever give this man up. Logan was it; he was her forever. She lifted her head to find his lips, her gasp as he bottomed out being swallowed by him.

The first few thrusts were slow, Logan sliding into her heat, both of them relearning how they worked together. It only took a moment before their pace increased, and Logan's hips were thrusting against hers, Veronica's walls clenching at every inch of his length as he filled her over and over. Veronica's body burned as pleasure rolled through her, the overwhelming sensation of his length stretching her insides, pulling his name out of her with every thrust.

Veronica opened her eyes and glanced down to see their bodies moving together. She could see his length driving into her, his length dragging against every inch of her. Their bodies rocked back and forth, moans and whimpers falling from both as they chased their end. Veronica was overwhelmed by the flood of sensations. She was didn't want to lose the connection that she could feel between them, his hands holding her firmly against him, the way his lips ghosted across every inch of her. The small grunts of her name fell from Logan's mouth as her walls tightened around him.

Logan shifted the angle of his thrusts; he dragged his cock across her clit, with each movement pulling a louder cry from Veronica.

"Logan, please," she begged. The edge was so close.

He moved a hand back to her centre and pressed his thumb roughly over her clit; the pressure as he surged into her a few times more sent Veronica rocketing over the cliff. Her body jolted, her hips snapping up against him as her orgasm moved through her; the pressure of her walls around Logan's length pushed him to his own end.

The room was silent beyond their heavy panting. Logan stayed still above her, his head pressed against her shoulder, his hands still gripping her hips. Veronica had her eyes closed, one hand on the back of Logan's neck, the other gripping his back. Her body felt like jelly; a warm sense of utter peace had flooded through her, and with it, relief.

Tears spilt down Veronica's cheeks; a loud sob echoed out of her. Logan pulled himself from her and laid down on the bed beside her; he wrapped his arms around her, pulling Veronica up and against his side before he leaned down and kissed her, his hand wiping her tears.

"I love you," she said. "I'm sorry."

Logan smiled at her and shook his head. "No more apologies. We are here, now. And that's all we need." He kissed her again. "I love you too."

Veronica woke up hours later to her stomach grumbling. She was snuggled against Logan's chest, his arms wrapped around her, their legs intertwined, and the bedsheet over covering from their legs down. For the first time in days, Veronica felt incredibly well-rested and so comfortable that she didn't want to move. She was happy to keep her head pressed against Logan's chest and breathe in his scent. She could smell the sea salt – he had most likely surfed that morning – and the citrus of his body wash, still the same one he had used when they were teenagers.

Logan shifted, his lips pressed against her head, and a hum of contentment vibrated his chest. "Sleep well?" he asked. His voice groggy.

Veronica nodded. "Very."

"Me too."

Veronica smiled and lifted her head. He looked down as she stretched her neck, pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth.

"What time is it?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Don't know."

He shifted to move, and Veronica moaned her annoyance. Logan laughed and pulled her with him, ending up with her on his chest. She pressed her nose against his neck and sighed.

"I love you," she said.

Logan lifted a hand to his cheek. "I love you too."

Her stomach growled loudly, making Logan laugh.

"Room service?" he suggested.

She nodded. "I want lasagne."

"No problem."

Logan reached for the hotel phone and hit the number for room service. He ordered them both food and dessert while Veronica laid comfortably on his chest. His hand ran along her back, sending small tingles down her spine and reminding her what his hands had been doing to her not long ago. Veronica smiled and turned to press a kiss to his chest. She shifted her body to sit up, smiling as Logan watched her curiously as he hung up the phone.

Veronica ran her fingers over his body and stopped when she found a scar. She traced it with the tip of her finger. That hadn't been there eight years ago. "How did you get this?"

Logan said, "Training. We were doing drills, parachuting from a few thousand feet up, and I didn't land as gracefully as hoped. I hit a tree." He laughed. "A branch went straight into me."

Veronica frowned. "A branch? You impaled yourself on a branch."

Logan smirked and shrugged. "What? Did you want me to tell you I was shot or stabbed?"

She shrugged and smiled, tracing the scar.

"Where did you get the scar on your thigh?" Logan's hands traced her thigh, touching the scar that sat in the centre of her left thigh.

"That one is a bullet wound," she said.

"Shoot out? Did your boss get sick of that mouth of yours?" he asked, his smirk teasing.

Veronica scrunched up her nose. She had a few scars from the last few years; some weren't really causal bedroom talk.

"What?"

She sighed. "It's not exactly a nice story."

Logan frowned. "Okay."

"We were looking for a man in Texas; he was on a bit of a manhunt, tracking down a group of guys that had raped his daughter. He'd already killed three people; shot them point black with his rifle. I was with another member of my team, we went to check and see if one of our guy's potential targets was home. We got there right as our guy showed up. My teammate was able to get the other guy out, and I told them to go, and I would keep the father busy." Veronica bit her lip, watching Logan's face turn. She continued, "He surprised me, and to stop me from chasing him, shot me in the leg."

Logan's eyes were wide with shock. "Seriously?"

Veronica nodded. "He apologised after he did it."

"Like that makes it okay."

Veronica leaned forward, pressed a kiss to Logan's mouth. "Out of the many bad guys that I've chased after, he was one of the few I actually felt bad for. He didn't want to hurt me, but he was consumed with revenge."

Logan ran his hands up her back.

"You okay?" she asked. She probably shouldn't have told him that story straight away. Then again, it was the nature of her job.

"I guess I just never really considered how dangerous your job is."

"Yours is dangerous too."

"Yeah, I know." He pushed himself up and held her hips.

Veronica watched the thoughts turn in his mind. She brought her arms up and wrapped them around his neck.

"I suppose the idea of anyone hurting you scares me."

Veronica smiled. "I promise, I do everything I can to stay safe."

He nodded, but he still seemed to be processing it.

It was going to take time for them both to really let everything sink in. Logan would have to understand that her job came with risks and lots of travel. And she would have to accept that he would be gone for months at a time while he was deployed. That on top of getting to really know one another again, it wasn't going to be easy.

"Do you have any funny scars?" Logan asked, breaking their silence.

Veronica chuckled. "No. I'm not clumsy like you."

Logan scoffed. "Like to see you jump out of a plan a few thousand feet in the air."

"Yeah, no thanks. I'm good."

This is only the beginning.

I would love to hear what you think. Even if it's as simple as a 'can't wait' all feedback is appreciated.