Lives Ruined, Bloodshed

Chapter 15

"Ryan Adams, the twenty-seven-year-old surfer from Neptune, California, was arrested and charged with multiple counts of rape and murder yesterday afternoon. It is reported that not only was Ryan Adams responsible for the bodies of eight women that were found along the California coast in the last few weeks, but he has also been charged with additional counts of sexual assaults going back almost ten years. After a thorough search of Ryan Adams's home and vehicle, a box containing video recordings of the sexual assaults were found. The FBI's spokeswomen, Special Agent Nadia Price, spoke an hour ago, encouraging those victimised by Ryan Adams to come forward. It was also confirmed that Ryan Adams was denied bail and will be remanded in California City Correctional Facility until his trial."

The TV turned off, and Veronica slid back on the couch. She allowed her head to sink into the soft padding and closed her eyes. The news reports had been consistent since yesterday, and Veronica had quickly grown sick of hearing his name mentioned. Ryan Adams was locked up and would stay there for the rest of his life. All Veronica wanted to do was rest; the last few days had been exhausting, and she wanted to think of anything but her job.

Veronica had spoken to Hitch after speaking with Alice Grace's parents and told him she was taking two weeks leave. She had never heard him so excited before. But she really needed to work out what would happen next. Keith was just as excited to hear that she was staying in Neptune for two weeks, but she also hadn't included the details about her relationship with Logan. That was something she wasn't ready to discuss just yet.

After informing her father about her stay, he had insisted that she stay in the guest room, so she did. She packed up her stuff from the hotel, checked out and got herself situated in the guest room. Veronica also found she didn't really have anything for a holiday since she had packed work-appropriate clothing. Which meant she had to go shopping, not her favourite activity. But that wasn't really at the forefront of her mind. She already had plans with Logan for dinner, and she knew they needed to talk. Veronica wanted to be honest with Logan and determine if they would really work with them living on opposite sides of the country.

Veronica was worried that perhaps it wouldn't; some couples found a way, so it wasn't impossible. Plus, both Logan and Veronica had spent the past nine years loving one another; they could find a way. Couldn't they?

She had until that evening to work through her thoughts, but she spent the morning with her dad first. Waking up to the smell of her father's cooking had Veronica flashing back to high school. It made her feel like a little kid when she had rushed to the kitchen and found pancakes and bacon waiting for her. They had sat at the kitchen island and enjoyed their food.

Veronica insisted on cleaning up, and so Keith moved over to watch some TV. He'd decided to start late so he could spend some time with Veronica and wasn't in a rush to head into the office. Veronica had just finished loading the dishwasher when the news report had come up, making Keith pause as he flipped through the channels. She had moved over to sit with her dad as they had flashed through the images of the eight women that Ryan Adams had raped and murdered.

Veronica couldn't help but wonder if there was anything that Ryan Adams victims regretted. Would they have been different people if they knew their lives would have been cut off so early? Would they have taken more risks? Shelly Pomroy had been the queen of 'I-know-best' when they were at school, thinking she and Madison could do no wrong. And even though Veronica had no time for either of them, she did feel sorry for the people that had lost Shelly – those who truly loved her.

"I heard that Shelly Pomroy's family is having her funeral on Monday," said Keith.

Veronica opened her eyes and nodded. "The coroner will be able to release the body by tomorrow, once the paperwork has been signed off."

"Do you think you will go?" he asked.

Veronica shrugged. "I didn't really know Shelly. I can certainly think of a few people who I would piss off if I showed my face."

"It's not about them, and Shelly's parents would probably appreciate it."

Shelly's parents had been grateful to all of them. They had shown up at the field office an hour after the news broke the story of Ryan Adams's arrest, along with the loved ones of every other victim. The older couple had met with Walsh, who explained they had arrested the man responsible. They had cried as they stood near the elevator before noticing Veronica not too far from them. Veronica hadn't seen Shelly's parents since before Lilly's death, but they recognised her. It had stunned Veronica momentarily when Mrs Pomroy used her name – without any introduction – and had hugged her.

"I still don't think it's my place."

Keith nodded. "I suppose."

The words came out of Veronica before she really thought about it. "Dad, do you think that I was selfish to leave Neptune?"

Keith looked at her strangely and shook his head. "I wouldn't say it was selfish; smart would be a better word for it. Heck, I was thrilled when you left this place behind."

Veronica frowned. She wasn't sure she wanted to start having this conversation with her father, not yet anyway, but she found herself torn. Logan had insisted that while both of them held the blame for what happened in the past, they didn't need to focus on that. They loved one another, and that should be enough. But Veronica still felt the doubt and the fear. What if she fucked up again?

Veronica asked, "Even though I pretty much cut everyone, even you, out of my life?"

"You didn't cut me out—"

"Yes, I did," she said, cutting him off. "I took off for Stanford and never came back. Not for one birthday, not for a single Christmas or Thanksgiving. And it wasn't because I was busy, it was because I was…." The right word escaped her. What had she been? A coward? That sounded about right. Coming back to Neptune had terrified her; the idea that coming back would mean everything would go back to the way it was.

"Veronica, what is this about?" asked Keith.

"It's about me realising that I fucked up."

"How? You went off to college, you joined the FBI and have made a good life for yourself. I couldn't be prouder of you."

Veronica's eyes watered as she stood up from the couch.

"This has nothing to do with your job, has it?"

She didn't respond.

"Logan?"

His name made her heart skip. Logan was the route of it all, her happiness but also her pain. The questions in her head wondered if she had just stuck with him, could she have spent the last nine years happy? Or would have something else cause the utter crater that she left behind?

"I know I was never really that understanding about your relationship with that boy, and I had my reasons."

Veronica turned back to look at her father. "Yet now you have a picture of him on your bookshelf."

Keith smiled. "That I do. I don't know how much you both have shared, but Logan went through a lot after you left. He got to a dark place, but he managed to find a way out of it. His life got on track because he wanted to be better, and it wasn't just that he wanted to be better for himself." Keith stood from his spot on the couch and walked over to Veronica. He placed both his hands on either side of her shoulders. "He told me on the day he left for his first deployment that he would prove not just to himself, or to Wallace or me, but to you that he deserved you."

It was just how Logan had told her. He had pushed through every bad thing in his life so he could be better for her. Logan had wanted to make her proud and become a man that deserved her.

Keith continued, "Veronica, I didn't want to see when you were eighteen. The relationship you had with that boy was so strong it was rather scary for a father to see. You were both so young that I was worried that it wasn't going to end well. You fell so fast, so deep, and it was like both your words revolved around one another. But there is something that I forgot when it comes to love."

"What?"

"My mother used to love this French author from that lived in the 1600s. And her favourite quote was, 'True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen.'"

Veronica sniffed and gave her father a smirk and said, "Grandma said that? I somehow find that hard to believe."

Keith smiled and shrugged. "She wasn't always grumpy." He lifted a hand and wiped away the tears that had slipped down Veronica's cheek. "And she would have loved Logan, then and now. She would have loved how much he drove me crazy."

Veronica wanted to believe that her father was right, that what she had with Logan – what she wanted with him – was incredible, that it was true love. Logan had pushed himself to be better for her, but what had she done? Runaway and hid in a different state and refused to acknowledge anything.

"Do you love Logan?" asked Keith.

Veronica nodded. She had no doubts about that.

"Then what's scaring you so much? Why the tears?"

She let out a shaky breath. "You said that Logan has worked to be better, to become a better man, one that even you are proud of. He has dealt with his issues, faced his problems head-on. But what about what I did? I destroyed our relationship. I was the one who dumped him and tore both of our hearts out." She wiped her cheek. "And then I ran away. I didn't leave Neptune because I could have a better chance somewhere else or because I wanted to spread my winds – none of that bullcrap – I did it because I was scared. I ran away like a coward and didn't come back."

"But you are here now."

"If Hitch hadn't ordered me to come, I wouldn't even be here now." Veronica stepped back from Keith. She crossed the room and dropped onto the reclining chair, and dropped her head into her hands. "I would still be in Virginia, pretending that things were fine. And you're right; Logan has done so well. He should be proud of the awards he has received, his accomplishments in the Navy. There are so many women out there that deserve that kind of man. But not me, not after what I've done."

Keith looked at Veronica with a strained face. She couldn't imagine what he was thinking, but she somehow was expecting him to try and justify her feelings. Tell her that it was okay to be scared, that she just needed to face her fears. But Veronica didn't know if she could do that.

"Logan deserves someone who isn't scared to love him. Who will stand by his side and fight, not run away when things get hard." Veronica wiped her cheeks again; her skin was growing sore from the salt in her tears.

Keith took a seat on the couch beside her and took her hand. "Veronica, you know what I want to say."

"That I just need to face my fears?"

He nodded. "Exactly. You need to trust not only Logan but yourself. And with regards to Logan deserving someone better than you, not that I think that's true, but that is something he needs to decide for himself."

Veronica let her father's words sink in. Logan had spent the last eight years bettering himself so he could be with her. Her teenage self would have loved the man who he had become. Veronica had no room to argue, nothing that would allow herself to say that she was right. Her doubts and fears had been there for so long, telling her she couldn't have Logan. But it wasn't up to her.

Once Veronica had managed to calm herself down, she set about getting ready for the day. She showered, taking longer than necessary and enjoyed the hot water. She made plans with Wallace to join him for lunch again, but before that, she needed to go shopping. Logan would be making her dinner, and she needed to find something to wear since black slacks and a button-up shirt didn't scream hot dinner date.

She was excited for her date with Logan, ignoring all of the heavy that would come up; she felt like it was something she had been waiting for forever. Not once in high school had they ever shared a home-cooked meal. There had been dinner with her father – always awkward – and plenty of times they had ordered in, but the idea that Logan would be making the food for them just made it seem so much more exciting.

For the first time in a long time, Veronica made her way to the mall. The shopping centre that she had once spent hours at with Lilly wasn't the same. It had been added to and modernised over the years, and it had almost too many options. Veronica found herself making her way through groups of teenagers and families, all chatting excitedly as they shopped. Veronica just wanted to get what she needed and go.

She stopped outside a small boutique that sat on the corner of one of the many cross-sections of the centre when a dress on a manikin in the window caught her eye. The dress was a dark maroon colour, the skirt falling at the knees with a high neckline that seemed to clip together behind the neck. On the centre chest of the dress was a slit in the fabric that opened between the breasts – not showing too much cleavage – but giving a very tasteful look. It was stunning, and Veronica knew it was the type of outfit meant to keep a male's eye.

Veronica found herself in the small shop and asking the assistant for the dress in her size. Trying it on, Veronica found herself imagining Logan's reaction. His eyes would widen, nose would flare. It made her giggle and bite down on her lip. The only thought; was it too much? Was she trying too hard? There was no back to the dress; the material at the skirt pulled around at the bottom and sat about a centimetre just above her butt. Veronica wasn't sure, but she really liked the dress. She left the shop with the dress and a few other clothes she would need for her holiday and went to find a shoe shop.

Thank you so much for reading.

I would love to hear what you think. Even if it's as simple as a 'can't wait' all feedback is appreciated.