Lives Ruined, Bloodshed

Chapter 16

Veronica pulled into Dick's driveway at ten to seven. She was nervous. She sat in her father's car, having borrowed it for the evening, and glanced at Dick's front door. Inside was Logan, making her dinner, and she couldn't believe how excited she was. The butterflies in her tummy had started when she realised she needed to get ready. She had spent way too long staring at herself in the mirror with the dress she had bought on. Veronica loved the dress; she loved how she felt in it, but again the worry that it was too much appeared. She decided to wear the dress, but it didn't mean her doubts had stopped.

Before she left, her dad had smiled and told her she looked beautiful. Keith had wished her luck and told her to follow her heart. It was sweet of him, and she couldn't believe how much his encouragement made her feel better. She really had missed her dad.

Taking a deep breath, Veronica pushed down her fear and got out of the car. She carried a small black clutch and a bottle of wine that she had purchased on the way over. Veronica knocked twice and waited. From inside, she could hear soft music playing and the sound of shoes on the wooden floors.

Logan opened the door dressed in black slacks and a white button-up shirt. Veronica had been excited to see his reaction to her dress, but she found herself unable to see his reaction because of how good he looked. Veronica felt her heartbeat hasten, her lips became dry, and a small lump appeared in her throat. Running her tongue along her lips, she realised they were both admiring one another.

"Hi," she said, her voice squeaking slightly.

Logan smiled widely. "Hi, come in."

Veronica bit her lip and nodded; she stepped into the house, her shoulder brushing Logan's chest as she did. Logan's hand found her waist as he closed the door and turned to her.

He said, "You look incredible."

Veronica's cheeks warmed. "Thank you; you look pretty good yourself."

They walked down the hall to the open living area, and Veronica's nose caught the delicious scent of their dinner. She placed her clutch and the wine down on the kitchen island and took in the decorated room. The space was filled with candles, all of them lit and giving the room a warm glow. The dining table was set for a romantic dinner for two, a red rose sitting on her setting. Logan even had the back doors open, letting in the cool evening breeze and the sound of the waves crashing on the sand.

"This is amazing." Veronica turned to smile at Logan.

"Not as amazing as you." His hands held her hips; he pulled their bodies together.

Veronica lifted her warms and placed them around her neck, tilting her head slightly, biting her lip again. Logan leant in and kissed her. Every kiss made Veronica feel weak, from the scent of his citrus body wash, the taste of spices on his tongue, and the way his tongue would caress hers. It felt like home; it felt right.

A loud groan came out of Logan as Veronica dragged her nails across the back of his head, trying to make sure there wasn't a single inch between them. She smirked at the sound he made and couldn't stop her own gasp when Logan's hand slid over her butt and squeezed. Breaking the kiss to gasp for air, Logan pressed his mouth to her throat. He nibbled and sucked at her skin, one hand coming up to caress her cheek.

The oven beeped in the kitchen and made both Veronica and Logan snap out of the haze. Logan sighed and pressed another soft, quick kiss to Veronica's lips before stepping away from her. "Sorry, that's the garlic bread."

Veronica said, "It's okay." She watched as he moved into the kitchen and grabbed an oven mitten before pulling a tray from the oven. "Did you make everything?"

Logan smiled; a small flash of pride reached his eyes. "I did. I was going to make lasagne, but your dad told me he made it the other day. So, I went for your next favourite and made Chicken Alfredo and some homemade garlic bread."

Veronica wasn't sure what she was most excited about. The fact that Logan had learned to cook or that he still knew her so well.

The food wasn't quite ready, so Veronica poured them both a glass of wine, and they talked while Logan finished off their food. She stood by his side, enjoying the sight of him carefully going through each step. She was onto her second glass of wine by the time they were ready to eat.

Logan pulled out her chair and insisted that she sit down. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips before moving back to the kitchen and serving their food. He topped up their wine before sitting down across from her.

Veronica found herself more in love with Logan than ever after the first mouthful. The chicken alfredo was insanely delicious. "This is so good," she said, a moan coming out as she took another mouthful.

Logan smiled widely. "I'm glad."

Veronica asked. "Who taught you to cook?"

He said, "One of the guys in my squad."

"Really? A fighter pilot who knows his way around the kitchen."

Logan nodded. "That he does. He went to culinary school before he joined."

"That's a big career jump."

"His brother died, so he wanted to honour his memory and followed in his footsteps."

Veronica said, "Oh, wow. That would have been hard."

"Yeah, Tooth took it hard, but it also made him work that much harder."

"I'm sorry, Tooth?" She looked at him, confused.

Logan laughed. "Oh, right. It's his call sign. Nickname."

Veronica smirked. "Nickname, huh? Is that like Maverick and Goose?"

He nodded. "Yep. Except the call signs people get in real life aren't as cool."

"How'd he get stuck with that name?"

Logan smirked. "During training, he got whacked in the face – by accident – but it was hard enough that it knocked out one of his front teeth."

Veronica laughed. "Really? That's why he's called tooth."

He nodded. "He spent weeks walking around with no front tooth. It stuck."

"What's yours?" she asked.

Logan sighed and picked up his wine. "Mouth."

Veronica giggled. "Really? I can't imagine how they came up with that."

"Well, as you could imagine, I wasn't one for taking orders."

"No, you weren't."

"Neither were you."

She shrugged. "That is true; I still have a mouth on me. The FBI couldn't quite straighten me out."

"Good. I like your mouth." Logan smirked, his eyes flicking down to her lips as she bit down on her lower lip. His eyes darkened at her action.

Licking her lips, Veronica asked, "So why did – teach you how to cook?"

Logan looked down at her plate and cleared his throat. He shifted in his seat and said, "When we got back from our first tour, I wasn't sure what to do with myself. – offered, and I thought, why not? It's a useful skill to have. And look at you, reaping the benefits."

Veronica nodded. "That I certainly am."

He asked, "What about you? Any new skills you developed in the last nine years?"

"Oh, loads. But if I told you, I'd have to kill you." Veronica cringed at herself as Logan laughed. "God, that was so bad."

Logan smirked and picked up the wine to fill both their glasses. "Yeah, but you work for the FBI. You have the perfect reason to use it."

"I always figured that was more CIA; I'm more serial killers and less top-secret missions."

"Either way, you're still amazing."

Veronica felt herself flush. "Why sir, you are making me blush." She picked up her wine and took a sip, watching Logan watch her.

He smiled and shrugged. Logan asked, "So, are you happy with the outcome of your case?"

She grinned. "Yeah. I am a hundred per cent comfortable stating that Ryan Adams will serve life in prison."

"That's great. I'm not surprised though, after all, you never let a bad guy get away."

"I try not to. Sometimes, there isn't anything you can do."

The times where Veronica had to let go were tough. They were the days that she came home and cried because there was nothing they could do. Every case became more personal when she failed to save the next victim, or their unsub got away; it didn't happen all that often, but not all cases came out as clean as they did with Ryan Adams. They had apprehended him rather easily once they found him; there was no shoot out, no hostage to get out safely.

But it wasn't just even her job. Her whole life, Veronica needed to be in control. She had fort so hard to find the truth about Lilly and then about what happened to herself at Shelly's party. Everything always felt out of control; she couldn't keep herself safe or those she loved. After losing Lilly, Duncan, Meg and almost her father, Veronica – unknowingly so – started pushing people away. Logan had been the first; the boy she had loved so much had only wanted to keep her safe, to love her, but she broke that. She pushed him away and told herself it was for the best.

And now, here they were. Nine years later and Veronica wanted so badly to hold onto Logan. Veronica didn't feel like she deserved him or that she could ignore everything that she had done to hurt him, but there was no going back. Veronica wanted to try and make it all right.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Logan asked.

Veronica turned to look at him, focusing on his concerned eyes. She reached out and took his hand and said, "Oh, sorry. Just a lot on my mind."

"Care to share?" he asked.

She wanted to say no; her fears weren't Logan's to deal with, but they needed to talk. To work out what was going to happen next.

"Veronica?" Logan squeezed her hand.

"I was just thinking about everything." She smiled sadly. "For the last nine years, I have tried everything I could to ignore how I felt. I pushed down every memory, every thought about you, but eventually, it would slip through the cracks." Veronica ran her fingers over Logan's knuckles. "I allowed my fears and my trust issues to push you away; Madison was just an excuse. As much as it did piss me off that you slept with her, I made it my reason to break away from you instead of trusting you and giving us a chance." She caught a tear that slid down her cheek. Thank god for waterproof makeup. "And I did that because I didn't think I deserved you."

Logan frowned, his head shaking. "Veronica, no—"

"Just let me say this, please."

He nodded.

"After everything that happened, all the loss and the pain, I felt responsible for all of it. I spent more time thinking of the 'what ifs' in our lives that I could barely think of what the next day would bring. Every decision I made, I was trying to make up for everything I had fucked up, but I just procced to make things worse. I ended up in a place where I wasn't trying to be normal or happy; I was creating a problem so I could have something to fix. I didn't know how I was supposed to function when there was nothing for me to fix. But that just led to me pushing so hard that you broke up with me. And I know why you did it, and for that time when you weren't with me, it made me stop and think. And for a moment, I told myself that I could do better because I loved you. But then I found myself thinking that I couldn't. I couldn't be better; I couldn't be the person you wanted me to be."

"You didn't need to change yourself. I love you for who you are."

"But that's the thing, you could love me for every fucked-up thing I did, but the second you did something that messed up what I wanted, I would act like such a fucking bitch about it. You deserve someone who isn't going to use your mistakes against you, someone that will stand beside you no matter what."

"Are you saying that you don't want to do that?"

"No, what I'm saying is that I do." Veronica stood from her seat and walked around to stand beside him. She placed her hands on either side of his face and leaned down to press their foreheads together. "I don't want to spend another second away from you, but you deserve so much more than me."

Logan shook his head. He bought a hand up to rest against the back of her thigh; his thumb stroked her bare skin. He said, "I don't want someone who deserves me, not that I believe that you don't. Since the day we stood outside the Camelot, and you kissed me, all I have ever wanted is you. Having you in my arms, spending even a few minutes with you, let me forget what a shit show our reality was. You are the one who helped me find my way. Even when I didn't want it." He pulled her down, making her thighs fall either side of his lap, so she was straddling him. "We both have made mistakes, but we were teenagers, and both of us had been through so much. But I have spent the past nine years thinking of nothing but you."

A tear slid from Veronica's eye and down her cheek. Logan stopped it with his thumb and pressed forward to kiss her. It was so sweet and loving that Veronica couldn't stop the other tears that followed.

"I love you, Veronica. And no matter what happens, that won't change. We will work this whole relationship thing out; even though you live on the other side of the country, we will find a way."

Veronica kissed Logan again. This time pressing herself against him and wanting more than ever to just feel connected to him. Her body reacted to the idea of just feeling his body against hers; every single nerve started to buzz at what was to come.

Logan smiled and said, "Your food will go cold."

Veronica tightened her grip slightly. "I'm hungry for something a little different."

Veronica saw a flash in Logan's eyes, a hunger that she knew was reflected in her own. It had been there when they were in her hotel room; it was a desire she had always felt for him. She kissed him firmly, her body pressing forward, her hips shifting and meeting Logan's growing arousal. Veronica's breathing grew heavy as Logan groaned at the sensation of her body pressing against him. Logan moved his hands to slide down Veronica's thighs before slipping beneath the skirt of her dress. He caressed the bare skin he found and smiled as she shivered at his touch. His finger barely skimmed her centre, but Veronica's body jolted at the sensation, and she deepened their kiss.

Logan moved his lips to her throat, nipping and sucking at the familiar curve of her neck. He said, "Did I tell you how much I like this dress?" He skimmed his nose over her shoulder and towards the valley between her breasts. Her dress gave him complete access to her bare skin.

"You didn't mention the dress directly."

Logan hummed against her skin. One of his hands moved up her up back, sliding until he found the small clip that held the dress up at the back of her neck. He popped it open and let the fabric fall down Veronica's shoulders, leaving her breasts completely bare. "Well, I do. I really…" He pressed a kiss to her skin. "…really do." Logan pinched and rolled her nipple between his fingers, pulling a harsh gasp from Veronica's mouth. He brought his hand around the curve of her back to arch her waist, pushing Veronica to press her chest forward. Logan captured a pink nipple in his mouth before running the flat of his tongue roughly over the tip. His attention to her breast pulled another moan from Veronica, her hips rubbing against his trapped and hard cock.

His mouth slipped to her other breast while bringing his hands back under her skirt. He hooked a finger around the soft fabric of her panties and pulled them down her thighs.

"Lift up," he mumbled with his mouth full.

Veronica did as asked, shifting so he could pull the lace down. He paused as they reached her knees. They were a little stuck. Gripping the lace firmly, Logan gave a hard tug, ripping the panties off.

Veronica frowned at the sight of her destroyed underwear. "Hey!"

Logan smirked. "I'll buy you a new pair."

She gave him a small smile and grabbed the collar of his shirt. She tore it open, baring he chest and sending buttons flying in every direction. Veronica ran a hand down his sculpted chest and said, "I'll buy you a new one."

Logan laughed before he kissed her again; both pressed firmly into the kiss. He brought his hand up and down her thigh; his thumb reached for her hot centre; it was wet and swollen. He pressed a single finger into her centre, her body trembling at the first intrusion.

"Logan," Veronica whimpered.

"You're so beautiful." He pushed a second finger inside her.

Veronica cried out; she needed more. His fingers felt so good, but she wanted that connection, that sensation of him filling up every inch inside of her, stretching her. She reached between them, finding the button of his pants as he pressed a third finger.

"Shit."

Logan pressed his face into her throat, nipping at the skin. She managed to pop open the button. Together they shifted, Logan's fingers still pressing into her as he lifted his hips so she could push the tops of his pants and his briefs down.

"I need you," she moaned.

Logan removed his fingers and found her lips again. He swallowed her whimpers and shifted to shove his pants and briefs down enough to free his erection. Veronica's wrapped her hand around his length, pulling a surprised groan out of Logan as she ran her thumb over the wet tip. Veronica adjusted her grip around Logan's neck and ran the tip of his length against her hot folds.

"Fuck." Logan grabbed her hips and pressed her down as he pushed up. His length slid into her folds and was encased by her hot centre.

"Ah!" Veronica's nails dug into the bottom of his head, her other hand shifting to grasp his shoulder for stability. They both took a moment as they were overwhelmed by the sensation of being connected. This is what she wanted, to feel the connection between them.

Veronica locked eyes with Logan as he shifted his body. Together they moved their hips, Veronica lifting herself up before sliding back down. It felt good to feel his length fill and stretch her. Logan's eyes showed Veronica so much; she could see the love he had for her; it burned in every touch and every sound. She used her hand on his shoulder to push herself up, increasing the pace as his fingers dug into her skin. She couldn't stop herself from running her fingers through his hair and breathing in the smell that is distinctively Logan.

His hips met hers, their thrust became urgent. Logan stole another kiss from her lips before moving down to capture her breast in his mouth. He continued his earlier admissions to the pink nipple, sucking and rolling his tongue across it.

Veronica could feel her stomach tightening with every touch. She was so close to her end, but she wanted Logan with her. She clenched her muscle around his length, squeezing him inside of her, making him groan against her breast. The vibration through her chest is what put her over; her orgasm shook her body as she arched against Logan. The contracting of her centre sent Logan over his own edge, his body stiffening beneath her.

Their breathing was laboured as the final tremors of their orgasms faded. Logan pressed a few light kisses against her chest before lifting his head and smiling at her. Veronica drew her thumb over his cheek before kissing him. This is what she wanted. No one had ever made her feel like he did.

Logan broke their kiss and said, "This is what's right. For both of us. I love you, Veronica, and we will find a way to make this work."

Veronica nodded.

"Even if it takes years."

She smiled and giggled. "And continents?"

"Even then."

They stayed connected for a short while longer before Veronica slid from Logan's lap. The food had gone cold, but neither of them cared. They cleaned themselves up before Veronica sat back in Logan's lap and finished their meal with a chocolate mousse that they had too much fun sharing.

Thank you so much for reading.

I would love to hear what you think. Even if it's as simple as a 'can't wait' all feedback is appreciated.