Lives Ruined, Bloodshed

Chapter 17

Veronica couldn't keep a smile off her face. Her mood was higher than she could ever remember it being, and it had everything to do with Logan. Their talk had gone well; at least she had gotten a lot of her chest. And while there was a lot they still needed to work out, they had time for that. And between each round of sex, because it seemed that Logan's sex drive hadn't dwindled at all in nine years and neither had hers, they found bits to share.

In between the sheets of Logan's bed, Veronica was curled against his chest. The windows that looked out over the beach were open, letting the cool evening air blow through the bedroom. Logan had turned their topics from friends to relationships. It hadn't been something she wanted to really think about, but she knew it would probably be good to know.

"I haven't had a proper relationship since you," said Veronica. Her finger ran gently across a small scar on his chest.

"You dated Piz," said Logan.

She shrugged. "Dated, not what I would call a proper relationship. And to be honest, when I look back, he was definitely a rebound."

Logan brushed back a few hairs from her face. "That kind of makes me feel better."

"Well, that makes one of us."

He asked, "Was there really no one else?"

Veronica glanced up at him. "No. I dated a few guys, but it never got to the point where I wanted to stay with them. The longest I saw anyone was two months, and then he dumped me because he wanted someone who was present in the moment."

"Sounds like an ass."

She smiled. "He was. He did have a nice ass, though."

"Really?" Logan raised an eyebrow.

She nodded. "Oh, yeah. But yours is better."

He touched his chest and furrowed his brow. "Wow, thanks. I suddenly understand what it feels like to be objectified."

Veronica giggled. "Good. Because that is why I keep you around."

"Thanks for the clarification."

"You're welcome." She stretched up and kissed him.

Logan slid an arm around her waist, keeping her eye level with him. "I can't say that I'm not glad that no one was able to swoop you off your feet."

"No one could ever be what I wanted." She touched his cheek. "No one was ever you."

Logan's eyes seemed to shine.

Veronica asked, "How about you? How many ladies have you wooed with your charm and nice ass?"

"I've had two relationships."

"Two? That's it?" She meant her question in a teasing matter, but she was a little surprised.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged and started drawing her finger across his shoulder. "Well, you were supposed to be a ladies' man. Two is a little underwhelming."

He smiled and lifted his hand to cup her cheek. "Yeah, well, there was this one girl who stole my heart and made it difficult to give it to others."

"Really? Wow, sounds like a bitch."

"She isn't that bad. After all, I waited for nine years, and she's still worth it."

Veronica felt like a kid when a goofy grin took over her face. "So, these two. Who were they?"

Logan explained, "The first girl I dated was Spencer. I met her in my fourth year at Hearst; she was getting a teaching degree. I met her while surfing one morning with Dick; he flirted, she smacked him, and I apologised. We dated for seven months before she moved to Wisconsin, and she didn't want to try the long-distance thing."

"Sounds like it ended okay."

He nodded. "Yeah, out of all my relationships, it was defiantly the least dramatic. After that, I was single for a while. I dated a few girls, but then I bumped into Carrie."

Veronica frowned. "Carrie Bishop? Carrie?"

"Yeah."

It wasn't the type of couple that Veronica could picture. Carrie Bishop had been the gossip queen of Neptune High and another person that Veronica disliked. Not anywhere as much as she hated Madison Sinclair, but Carrie wasn't exactly easy to like. But unlike the rest of her High School classmates, she had heard about Carrie. Under the stage name Bonnie DeVille, she had ended up with a multi-million-dollar record deal.

"I was back from deployment and bumped into her at the 09er."

"Have I mentioned I hate the name of that bar," Veronica added in.

Logan shrugged. "That was all Dick."

"Yeah, not surprising. Go on."

He said, "She wasn't what I remembered from school. She was funny and so laid back. And for the first year, it was good. We were happy."

"Did you love her?"

"I did, but not in the same way I love you."

Veronica took his hand in hers and kissed the back of his hand. "Hey, it's okay. I know that anyone can love more than one person at once."

"I just don't want you to think—"

She interrupted him. "Logan, it's okay. I spent nine years alone; I would never have wanted you to suffer that like I did." She kissed him softly, pulling herself even closer to him. "What happened after your first good year?"

"She had demons. I thought what I had dealt with was bad, but whatever it was that was eating her up inside was tearing her apart. She developed a bad drug habit, became an alcoholic. I tried to help her, get her into rehab, but that doesn't really work unless the person actually wants to get better."

Veronica had watched her own mother think she could beat the drink on her own. Lianne had left rehab before finishing, wasting Veronica's own college fund in the process.

"It's been about eight months since I realised that I wasn't a boyfriend; I was a sponsor. She spent more time with other guys than she ever had with me. So I ended it, the relationship part of it anyway."

She frowned, confused by his words, and asked, "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "A few weeks after I broke it off, Carrie called me, crying. She had fallen off the wagon and needed help. I went over to see her and found her lying on her bathroom floor, barely breathing. After that, she went to rehab, and it was the longest she lasted."

"Why do I feel like this has happened more since then?"

"She does call me occasionally, asking for help."

Veronica didn't know what to say. It was one thing to know that Logan had dated Carrie, that he had loved her. But it was another knowing she was still a fixture in his life. Logan had watched his own mother drown herself in alcohol until she killed herself. He had been forced to watch as everyone he cared about left him, one by one, including herself. After all that, Veronica understood why Logan didn't want to completely cut Carrie off; he would be abandoning her.

"You don't need to worry about her, Veronica."

She shook her head. "I'm not." She stroked his cheek. And she wasn't. She was more worried about him. It wasn't his responsibility to take care of Carrie. "I will say that I don't think it's good for either of you that she uses you as a crutch."

Logan frowned but didn't respond.

Veronica tapped her finger against his crinkled forehead. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

His wrinkles faded, and he squeezed her waist. "I'll be okay now that I have you."

"That you do."

It was never a conversation anyone wanted to have, but Veronica was glad she knew about Carrie. She could only imagine how her inner demons would react if she had been blindsided by such a call without understanding what was going on. Even with a warning, she could feel the fear, but her plan was to ensure it didn't take over.

Getting out of bed the next day had been hard. Mainly because Logan had the day off, and she had no plans, so Logan kept her tangled together with him until her stomach demanded food. Her needs for sustenance only made Logan laugh before leaving her in bed to go make them breakfast. Veronica stayed curled up in the sheets for a few more minutes before she decided to grab one of Logan's shirts and join him in the kitchen.

The living space was still a little messy from their dinner the night before; candles and wax were everywhere, as were a few pieces of clothing. Her torn red lace panties were sitting alongside her heels next to the couch. She felt Logan's eyes on her as she got to the island and pulled out her phone.

"You should only wear that," Logan said.

Veronica smirked. "Sure, but only if you mind all the other looks that I'll get."

He frowned. "Fine, only wear that when it's just you and me."

She smiled. "Okay." She opened her phone to see a few messages. The first from Hitch.

H: We need to have a chat. I'll be in San Diego this evening. How about a drink?

Veronica didn't like surprises; she never had. Everything with the case had gone smoothly; what else could he want.

VM: Sure. I can meet you whenever.

H: Great. I'll message you later.

Knowing she wouldn't find out till that night, she would have to try not to think about it. The next message was from her dad.

KM: How did things go with Logan?

KM: I thought we could all have dinner.

KM: Also, when do I get my car back?

Veronica shook her head. Never did she ever think that her dad would be so happy to have Logan around. But then it seemed that there was a lot that had happened between them. Veronica hadn't broached the topic of what had happened to Logan; both Dick and her father had explained pieces of his story, but somehow, she felt that she was going to have to wait to hear it from Logan's side.

"My dad wants to have you over for dinner," she said.

Logan nodded. "Does he?"

"Yep. How do you feel going over now, flyboy? After all, he probably knows exactly what we were doing last night?" She smirked at him.

Logan frowned. "That's mean."

She shrugged. "So, dinner?"

He nodded. "Yeah, just let me know when."

VM: Dinner sounds good. Logan said to let him know when. And I will have your car back to you by lunch.

The last message was from Mac. It had been a few weeks since she had last spoken to her practically only female friend.

MAC: Back in the old town. Ready to mingle. Wallie told me you were in town.

Smiling at the nickname, Wallace would kill Mac if she ever said that to his face.

"What are you smiling at?" asked Logan. He was placing pieces of French toast into a frying pan.

Veronica grabbed a strawberry from a bowl and said, "Mac calling Wallace 'Wallie'."

He chuckled. "Now, I would pay to watch her call Wallace that to his face."

Veronica ate the strawberry as she replied.

VM: How about lunch today? I have news.

MAC: I have something to tell you too.

Veronica frowned. Something else she didn't know. It seemed coming back to Neptune was showing her just how much she missed. Not only was Logan friends with Wallace and probably Mac, but he was close to her father. She felt the nudging sensation of jealously. Her friends and father had accepted the man she loved but only after she had left.

Shaking off the thought, she decided to try and not dwell on it. The past was something she couldn't change, but she could make sure that they didn't miss out on anything else.

VM: Alright. Pick me up at 12 from my dad's house.

MAC: Will do.

Putting down her phone, Veronica walked around the bench to wrap her arms around Logan's waist. "This smells so good."

Logan licked his fingers clean. "Not as good as you."

He pulled her around as he turned. He grasped her chin in his fingers and leant down for a kiss. Veronica lifted a hand to wrap around his neck as she opened her mouth so his tongue could slip inside. Logan's hands moved around to her butt, giving her cheeks a squeeze – making Veronica laugh – before sliding down to grasp her thighs. He lifted her up, Veronica wrapped her legs around his waist, and placed her onto the bench, knocking the strawberries and syrup out of the way.

Veronica ran one hand over his chest, feeling the smooth grooves of his muscles. "This is a definite improvement from college."

Logan smirked. "Navy perk; you have to be fit."

"Mmmm…" Her hand dipped down to his abs, sliding towards the top of his pants. "What other perks does the navy provide?"

He groaned against her lips as her fingers slid beneath the band. "Stamina."

Veronica lifted her eyebrows. "Is that so?"

"Would you like a demonstration?"

It was tempting. Veronica could feel how her touch had affected him, his erection pressing into her thigh. Deepening the kiss, Veronica shifted her hips to press her centre directly against Logan. The only thing separating them was the thin layer of his sweats, and she found herself burning to feel him again.

Logan pushed his pants down slightly, freeing himself. Veronica locked her ankles behind his butt and threw her head back as she felt him slide into her. Logan pressed his mouth to her throat, nibbling on the skin as he gripped her thighs and started to thrust.

"Fuck." Veronica could feel his length hitting that perfect spot.

"You feel so good." Logan's thrusts were rough but steady. "I will never get enough of being inside you."

"Logan." Veronica clutched at his shoulders, trying to hold on.

Logan slid a hand between them; his finger found her clit and pressed down. The stab of pleasure pushed Veronica over; her body trembled and clamped down around Logan. The pressure pushed Logan to his own end.

Veronica smiled as she rested her head on Logan's shoulder. He pressed a few kisses to her neck before touching a spot with his finger.

"Oops," he said.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "If you gave me a hickey, you will be sorry."

Logan chuckled. "Couldn't help myself." He pressed a kiss to her lips before pulling himself out of her.

Tucking himself away, Logan glanced at the breakfast he had forgotten about and jumped forward to flip the French toast over. It was a little dark, leading Logan to grumble.

Veronica tried to hold in her giggle as she reached behind herself and grabbed the bowl of strawberries.

"Are you laughing at me?" he asked.

She shrugged and popped a strawberry into her mouth.

Logan's smile took over his pout before stepping back between her legs. "I love you."

Veronica pressed a strawberry to his mouth and said, "I love you too."

The temperature was hot by the time Veronica left Logan. With a promise of returning later that night, Veronica headed back to her dad's house dressed in her dress and heels, minus the destroyed panties. She had showered before leaving, but the only set of fresh clothes she had were back in the guest room. Logan had been more than willing to offer his t-shirt for her to wear, but as they discussed, walking around in only a t-shirt would probably get her a few unwanted looks.

Veronica got back to the house and grabbed the denim shorts, yellow tank top, and a white sheer button up, all of which she had purchased the day before.

Just after 12, Mac pulled up outside of Keith's house. The two of them greeted each other with a big hug, both excited to see one another.

As they climbed into Mac's car, Veronica said, "It's so good to see you."

"It has been way too long," said Mac. "We have so much to talk about."

"That we do. I may need some alcohol to get through it all."

Mac smiled. "I know just the place."

They ended up at a cute little Mexican restaurant that was one of Mac's favourite places, and bonus, they served margaritas. They both ordered one and got a mixture of food to share.

"So, how was your trip?" asked Veronica.

Mac had been away for over a month; her work had her travelling to deal with clients and paying her some good money to do so.

"It was really good," said Mac. "I got to enjoy some sightseeing as well as working, so I had a lot of fun. The next trip I take though will be pure vacation. There were some fun things I missed out on because I couldn't go too crazy."

"Oh, yeah, because you're a party animal."

"Dick brings it out in me."

Veronica paused. "Dick? As in the person, not the male anatomy?"

"Yes, the person." Mac laughed.

"I didn't realise you two were friends."

Mac looked away and cleared her throat.

Veronica's eyes widened as the realisation hit her. "Wait, is this what you wanted to tell me?"

Mac shrugged, a small look of guilt on her face. "Well, yeah. Dick and I have been seeing each other for six months, and I wasn't really sure how you would take it."

Veronica was surprised. There was a time where she hated Dick, he had done a lot of stupid things, but she knew there was a side to Dick she had never seen. Like the one where he had shown up in Logan's hotel room, broken, after losing Cassidy. And if Mac was dating him, he would have done a whole lot of growing up.

"I will say that it wasn't something I could have ever imagined."

Mac sighed. "Yeah, I know. But things have changed a lot since high school. He has changed, and while he is still a massive child that loves to party, he has this side of him that is so generous and kind, and when I met that side of him, I kind of…fell in love."

Veronica smiled at the look on her friend's face. Mac had never talked about a guy in such a way.

"I'm glad you found that side of him then."

Mac gave her a goofy grin. "Really? You mean that?"

Veronica smiled and nodded. She may have had some reservations about the man child, but it wasn't her relationship or her right to judge. "Of course. What kind of friend would I be if I couldn't accept that the once most ridiculous man child of our high school experience was the love of your life?"

Mac shrugged. "A few things come to mind, but I also appreciate our friendship and don't wish to get on the FBI's bad side."

Veronica laughed. "You could never be on my bad side. Dick, however…"

"He knows that you would murder him."

"Good, because I don't carry a taser no more. My gun is loaded."

Mac chuckled.

Their drinks and food were delivered, and the girls dived in.

Mac asked, "How was your date with Logan?"

"How did you know?" Veronica asked.

"Dick."

Veronica sighed. "Right, of course."

"He was funny when he got to my place last night."

"So that's where he went."

Mac nodded. "Yeah, so if you and Logan want privacy, just let me know, and I will occupy him."

"Good to know."

"So, the date?" Mac pressed.

"Oh, right. Well, it was perfect. He made me dinner – which was delicious – and we drank wine and talked. We both really want things to work."

Mac frowned. "I almost believed that. Now tell me what you really feel."

Veronica put down her half-eaten taco and took a sip of her drink. She said, "No, I do. I want nothing more than to be with Logan; I love him. But my head and my heart are constantly fighting against one another."

Mac looked at her sympathetically.

"I have made so many mistakes, wasted so much time. Being with Logan feels like it's where I am meant to be."

"But?"

"But I'm worried that I am going to repeat my past mistakes. That I am going to hurt him all over again. And everyone is telling me that I just need to ignore the doubts and trust my heart, but I don't want to hurt Logan. I couldn't bear it."

Mac reached over and squeezed her hand. "V. Logan is a big boy; he would never hold anything against you. And there is every chance that your relationship won't work. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone, it just isn't meant to be. But you and Logan deserve it not only to each other but to yourself to try."

Veronica nodded. She was glad that she still had Mac in her life. Mac was always honest, even when sometimes the truth hurt. She wouldn't let Veronica hide behind her insecurities or fears, and she also wouldn't let Veronica pretend that everything would be easy.

Veronica said, "I know. I just hope I don't fuck it up."

"Well, we won't let you. Me, Wallace, Dick, your dad. All of us will keep both of you honest. No running away."

Veronica couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Mac."

"You are welcome. Now, which parts of Dick's house did you two have sex on, so I know to avoid those areas?" Mac grinned and took a big bite of her wrap.

Veronica just grinned, not telling her was more fun.

Thank you so much for reading.

I would love to hear what you think. Even if it's as simple as a 'can't wait' all feedback is appreciated.