Yui bleibet meine freude
Life was not something that Gendo Ikari had particularly ever enjoyed
For most of the time he had spent on earth was accompanied by loneliness, no matter if desired or not, and that wretched companion had stuck itself to the man's soul like a tumor, slowly bringing him to his demise.
But for a certain period of his life - one that he would consider without a doubt the happiest period of his existence - such companion had been removed swiftly and lovingly by a single woman: Yui.
There weren't enough words in any language or vocabulary that could express the emotions that Gendo experienced with her by his side, every day was beautiful and perfect because she was there with him and absolutely nothing could've stopped the man from feeling this way.
She was the stars that gave light to the night sky, the sun that shined upon this earth and the air and water that let it live and breath; she was God's gift to earth and Gendo was who she loved (besides, obviously, the incarnation of said love: Shinji).
And then she was gone
If there is a being capable of seeing the physical manifestation of one's soul, it would've cried at the sight of Gendo's
'Crippling depression' is what he was diagnosed with, and such diagnosis couldn't have been more true
What was the point of working if there wasn't Yui helping him getting by? What was the point of eating something which didn't radiate her love for him? What was the point of sleeping if there wasn't her to hold during the night? What was the point of doing anything if there wasn't Yui smiling at him?
There was no point, and so the old companion came back, to finish the job that Yui's death started.
It only took four years for him to bite his tongue off during a drunken seizure, and one more for his leg to give up on him.
And so Gendo woke up, both emotionally and physically crippled, by the service dog that his son had taken for him.
The little animal was called Shiro, but only ever Shinji and Naoko called him that, and it loved Gendo more than anyone else, a fact that took months to settle into the man's head, and while he was neutral to him when others were around, in private he allowed himself to enjoy the company of his dog, petting him to his and Shiro's heart content.
After cleaning his face with the sleeve of his pajamas, Gendo took his glasses from Shiro's mouth and scratched the dog's ears as to thank him, before putting them on.
Once up, the old man took hold of his cane and led himself to the bathroom, where he washed himself at best as he could, ever too prideful to call for help, and then slowly made his way towards the kitchen, Shiro surpassing him in a frenzy, where he met his "family".
His son was, as usual, doing his magic at the stoves, finely preparing some meal with the same kind of determination and care that were akin to Yui's, while Naoko sat cross-legged at the table looking at a tablet, slowly sipping on a cup of coffee.
"Good morning Gendo, slept well?" asked the scientist, her eyes still locked to the tablet. Gendo could only grunt in response, joining her at the table. A few seconds after the small 'talk', breakfast was served to him by his son.
"I'm sorry if I cannot stay with you today father, but Asuka is demanding me to 'fulfill my duties as her boyfriend' today, whatever she means by that, so I'm afraid you'll have to manage by yourself until dinner at least dinner" Shinji said in a hurry, quickly removing his apron and putting on his shoes.
Gendo didn't really get what his son saw in the second child, but people didn't really get what Yui saw in him too, so he didn't wish to bother himself with such a question. Shinji looked happy and that was enough.
"I'll try to return as soon as possible, I left both lunch and dinner near the microwave, call if you need anything" the boy added, but before could leave Gendo did something unusual: he called out his son.
"Heenheee" the man said, trying to spell his son's name as best as he could, making said person freeze and turn around. "Hahke cahre" Gendo said with a small nod, before returning to his breakfast.
Shinji blushed slightly at that and mumbled a weak "thank you", before leaving the apartment.
"Poor boy, you scared him away" Naoko said with an hint of sarcasm, getting up "Kinda expected him to pass out on the spot, but I guess being with Sohryu has it's benefits, wouldn't you say so Gendo?" she asked him, receiving yet another grunt as response.
Naoko sighed and went to Shiro, patting him on the head while the dog filled himself with whatever Shinji had prepared for him. "Take care of the big bad man while I'm gone, ok?" she asked him, receiving a reassuring bark. She then got up and walked to Gendo, caressing his back.
"Try not to kill yourself while I'm gone ok?" she told him, and got surprised when the man took hold of her hand and squeezed gently. She then looked at him mouthing something she hadn't ever truly heard from him:
"Thank you" .
The contact lasted for a few more seconds, leaving the woman stunned, after which Gendo let go of her hand and instead grabbed a glass full of water and his medicines, slowly drinking it by a straw.
It was only after Naoko realized that she had froze in place for a moment that she hurried out of the aparartment, not uttering another word.
Gendo was then left with Shiro, who cuddled up against his leg after having finished eating, and quietly continued his meal, grateful yet again that Shinji inherited his mother's skills in the kitchen and not his own.
After finishing his breakfast, Gendo closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of the apartment: gone was the foul smell of cheap booze and alcohol that had until a few months ago plagued the household, now replaced by a mixture of the products Shinji used to keep the rooms immaculate, Naoko's light perfume and the unique smell of the fine wood used to create Gendo's old piano, his most prized possession.
Gendo wasn't able to play the instrument in his condition, but recently he had tried time and time again to pick up the piano again, in hope that maybe the melodies would help him relive some happy memories of Yui listening to him playing while leaning on his shoulder, either singing along or just simply smiling.
That morning Gendo decided that he would've played the piano again.
He sat down on the saddle and revealed the black and white board, slowly passing his fingers on each and every one of the keys, before setting his back straight and deciding on what he should try to play, something special to him maybe.
He decided to opt for something he used to play quite often back then: a personal rendition of Bach's Jesus Bleibet Meine Freude for piano, Yui's favorite, something that an old friend of theirs jokingly named Yui Bleibet Meine Freude, once seen Gendo's passion when playing it.
He positioned his fingers into their starting position, and to his amazement, started playing without the smallest itch, like a day hadn't even passed.
And so he continued to play, his fingers dancing gracefully on the keys and pressing down with just the right amount of force to produce a satisfying sound, again and again and again, this was until he heard a voice that he hadn't heard in a long time gently humming along him. He abruptly stopped playing and with it the voice was gone too.
He let out a terrified "No!" before resuming the performance, and felt instant gratification in hearing the voice manifesting again, and so he continued, and with each second that he played the voice became more and more clear and alive, like it's owner was right there beside him.
Gendo's hands continued the play almost on their own, while his eyes remained locked on the figure of the woman who was hugging his side and singing along with the music, he couldn't feel anything coming from his body, his brain totally focused on the two tasks.
The music was near it's end when the woman reached out to deliver a sweet and loving kiss on his lips that lasted until the end of the song, taking Gendo's breath away but never stopping the melody in the background, that ended peacefully.
"Yui?" Gendo whispered, as if scared that the mere sound of his voice would be able to break the holy vision.
"Gendo, dear" the woman answered smiling at him, shedding light on his lomg-gone dark soul.
The old man hugged her, and with teary eyes said "I-I'm home Yui".
Yui only held him tighter.
Gendo Ikari passed/died on the morning of the 13th of September, 09:38
Naoko found him that evening near the closed piano, with Shiro sleeping at his side.
She sat down next to his body and took his head in her lap, tearing up as she caressed his still smiling face.