Chapter 1
Soaring through the skies, she watched all of them, all the clouds. Following with her eyes as fast as she could before they disappear out of her view. All having a purpose and following it without changing their course. She knew they were inanimate objects, just masses of gas formed from small particles, but still, she couldn't stop watching them come and go.
"Even when they are all different shape and sizes, even lifeless objects follow the rules without question", she said quietly to herself, her curious look began to fade as she kept looking, her face now filled with disappointment and disgust. "It makes me sick". She said with a thick voice filled with repulsion, closing the window of the plane, covering it up with no intention of opening it again. She let go of the slider, placing her hands on top of her lap, with boredom filling her face, beginning to slump in her chair, with no attempt at fixing her posture, as if she were melting. All she could feel were the vibrations of the humming of the plane, and the occasional turbulence. After five minutes of staying in such a bad posture, the girl got up, and headed to the restroom.
She splashed her face with water, trying to clean what she could from her face. As she grabbed the towel to remove the water from her face, she saw herself in the mirror. Long red-brownish hair contained within a ponytail stretching from head to hips. A body that was slim as well as fit, wearing her favorite yellow sundress. Her face had a tired expression, her blue eyes looking dead into the mirror, as though she was frozen in place, "Stay strong Asuka, this will all be over soon.", she thought.Suddenly, the walls of the small bathroom begun closing in, she began to panic, desperately opening the door "HELP, HELP!" she screamed from the top of her lungs but to no avail, then in the corner of her eyes she saw the mirror had disappeared, and a hole was in its place, with no other choice she jumped into it, falling into the abyss. With her eyes closed, she continued to fall, feeling the air hitting her as she plunged deeper into the abyss, screaming while contemplating her eventual demise. However, the air hitting her back had stopped, the tingling sensation of being in zero gravity had been replaced with solid ground. Was she dead? Had she gone to heaven? Asuka's eyes were closed shut, out of fear of seeing the results of her landing. She heard something falling, no, multiple things and fast. The smell of fresh rain made her open her eyes.
She saw a sign next to her, Bushaltestelle was written on it, "Bus stop, huh?", she said in English, trying to pinpoint her location, "probably close to civilization, or something. Maybe I should sit tight". Rain kept falling, a soothing sound, she was at peace, there were no cars or people in the area. She was confused, a few minutes ago she was falling in a void, and now she was in a city, completely devoid of life.
Across the street she saw a silhouette of two people, two human beings, she was happy to see someone else. "Oh, thank God, I can ask them for help.", she said relieved. As she was about to move, her body stiffened up, she couldn't move. A chilling sensation crawled down her spine, sending shivers all around. When she saw the silhouettes of a mother, and her daughter, fear grabbed her. "No no no…" she kept repeating with desperation, beginning to hyperventilate as she found it hard to understand what lied in front of her. It was a repeat of her past, a damnation that would plague her for the rest of her life. She was looking at herself with the person she loved and hated the most: her mother.
"FUCKING STOP, NOOOO!" Asuka cried in fury, demanding to end this charade that plagued her. Placing her hands on the head, her fingers grabbing it like a ball. Her nails begun to dig deep into it, wanting to impale her hands on it, so she didn't see what lied before her, she cared little of the pain, nothing compared to what she was in. She shook her head, giving a desperate disapproval every time, she saw something else her mind had kept away. Each no she gave kept adding increased memories, as well as becoming louder. The voices of each memory adding on top of each other until nothing Asuka thought or spoke could be heard. Her ears began to ring, as if though they were pierced by a drill. "STOP, PLEASE, I BEG YOU. Stop, I, I can't take anymore" her voice began to whimper, from cries of fury to quiet whimpers barely heard by anyone. Tears formed out of her eyes, wanting to die than to suffer anymore. She was knees first in the ground, as if she were begging for her master to end the punishment. However, it was just beginning.
Asuka found herself in a dark room. The teenage girl looked in horror as she slowly but surely figured out her location. She began to turn slowly, her body turning as if about to give away. She was cold and shivering, feeling a sensation she had not felt in years. Finally, when she turned her stone body around, she died inside, wishing she had just stayed looking at the door, wishing the walls of the restroom had crushed her, that the void she fell in had a bottom where her face could crash into, spilling her brains onto the floor, anything, other than this. Her eyes filled with fear, as she saw a woman hanging from the fan of the house, swinging like a fucking piñata, and a little girl watching her spin. Asuka began to sob uncontrollably, cursing in German and English, wishing that God would have killed her that day.
"I remember that day", her past-self began to speak, "the day mother died, the day that I died.
"SHUT UP", she screamed out of pain as she could do nothing but listen at the words her past self-spoke, as the past was invading her own mind.
"They killed her, made her suffer before hanging her, she had been defiled. I could do nothing, but cry for my mother as if wailing like an ungrateful brat who didn't get what she wanted, as if that could fix anything… Then I found it."
Asuka opened her eyes wide, like if she had seen a ghost, she turned completely white, feeling a shiver down her spine, filled with fear as her past-self began to speak of the thing she hated the most, her body weak and vulnerable, tired of fighting, longing for the sweet release of death, a defeated Asuka could do nothing, but listen to her past. "I beg you" in a soft, and calm voice, "don't do this". Soft crying came from the Asuka, as her past-self fourteen-year-old self-read the note left by her mother, hidden so well that her perpetrators could not find it.
DEAR ASUKA, IF YOU READ THIS, IT MEANS THAT I AM DEAD. YOU PROBABLY FOUND ME AND ARE ASKING WHAT HAPPENED. I AM SORRY MEIN SÜßER KLEINER ENGEL, BUT MOM WAS DOING SOMETHING THAT PUT HER LIFE IN DANGER. I WAS SPYING ON THE EAST GERMAN STATE, AND HELPING PEOPLE ESCAPE INTO THE WEST, AND FOR THAT I PAID THIS PRICE, BUT IT WAS WORTH IT MY DEAR, I HOPE YOU CAN FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE ME. REMEMBER MY ENGEL, STAY STRONG AND BE BRAVE. LOVE MOM.
That letter made her feel furious. The selfishness of a mother to die helping others, and not dying trying to care for her own daughter. How could someone do that? How could someone do that to Asuka? She kept looking at the body as it slowly rotated. Tears fell from Asukas cheeks, it felt as if to no more could fall. She looked dead inside, like a body without a soul. She got up, and walked towards the door, not looking back. Furthermore, she was now in the bathroom she had wanted to escape. Not only that, but she looked in a mirror, only seeing a broken Asuka. Her sundress was ruined, her eyes red from all the rubbing and crying, blood running from her head, turning parts of her hair red. The more she looked, the more her reflection morphed. She began to see a creature which resembled her mother, neck broken with a noose attached to it exposing the bones of the neck, blood coming from her eyes and mouth, in fact she had no eyes, only a dark black void could be seen, and she smiled, a creepy smile, like that of a boogieman. "WARUM HAST DU MICH VERLASSEN, WARUM HAST DU MICH VERLASSEN?!", Asuka screamed in German (why did you abandon me) at the creature. The creature laughed at Asuka, loving her pain. Asuka in so much rage, red as blood, and bloodthirsty for vengeance, punched the mirror, "I HATE YOUUUUU!".
Asuka gasped as if though she had been hit in the gut with a punch, sucking all, the air out of her lungs. Waking up in sweat and tears from her bed. She began to regain her breath, slowly, "Fucking hell, it was just a nightmare" she said in a confused state at first, but then chuckled lightly, knowing it was just that, a nightmare. The now eighteen-year-old Asuka tried to analyze the situation, she lied back in bed and looked at the clock, 5:45 A.M., "Dammit, I am late".
A man stood outside the entrance to the terminal of Los Angeles International Airport waiting for someone in the sea of people swarming in and out of the terminals, with many asking for taxis, directions, the intercoms blared canceled flights and other bullshit he didn't understand. "Fuck me, she is late.", he said in a gruff voice. He took out a cigarette to calm down a little, igniting with his lighter, which was running out of fuel, "Well shit, I might have to buy a new one", the man said irritatingly, he then took a puff and exhaled the rest. Looking at his watch ever more impatiently, "I swear to God, Asuka, if you make me get you, I wil-".
'Guten Tag" the German girl proclaimed, sneaking up on him, and scaring him.
"SON OF A BITCH!" he yelled out of surprise. Asuka laughed at the man that she was once scared of when first seeing him, he had a chin that had an unshaven beard feel to it, the kind that if you touched would feel like sandpaper, looked like he was about in his late 30s or 40s, he wore a ponytail and wore a black suit with a red tie.
"Dammit, Asuka, where were you? We are running late," he said with seriously, almost as if he was scolding her. Asukas smile quickly become a frown, "Oh I am sorry Kaji" she said mockingly, "Who thought it was a good idea to buy tickets to a flight that's scheduled for 6 fucking 30 in the morning. Only you can think of something like that; though the hotel is right next to the airport, it still is a dumb idea. Didn't get to even eat breakfast because of you.", she said, trying to find something positive out of the situation.
"Never mind that, let's go, I need to buy another lighter" he said as he disappeared through the crowd of people, with Asuka trying to follow as quick as possible. "Kaji, waitttt".
"Here you are sir, have a safe flight" said the woman behind the counter, giving them their tickets, and admitting their luggage. "Oh no way" Kaji said looking at the line for the metal detector, "not going to happen" he pulled Asukas hand, and made his way to the guards, showing his identification. KAJI RYOJO, CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY. The guard looked at the ID and looked at Asuka. Asuka felt threatened by his look, it reminded her of something from her past, one of the memories that passed through her eyes during her nightmare, she wanted to forget, but she couldn't. The tall, and strong looking guard looked at the ID, and it reminded her of the KGB Agents that went to pick her up after she had found her mother dead. The same agents that killed her. The man even though he looked strong said in a softly spoken voice, "Sorry for the delay sir, you can pass.' He pressed his radio, "Let him through guys" signaling the other guards to not bother the man. He returned Kajis ID, "Have a safe flight" he said, lifting his guard hat in a cordial manner. "Thanks, let's go Asuka" Kaji said as he speeded to the gate with Asukas hand still in his hands. They were at gate 9, destination: The People's Republic of Nippon.
After the Second Impact happened back in 1960, the world went to shit. Governments collapsed, wars broke out, but the USSR and the USA never fought directly, never used atomic weapons, they were too distracted trying to fix their countries that they forgot about their allies. It was one of the reasons why the USSR didn't say anything from being removed from the UN Council and intervening in the West German annexation of East Germany back in '78. Same reason as to why the US didn't do anything against the revolution taking place in Japan and for that matter across their backyard. Both were of similar power, none could stand against the other, until that day, the day I got my letter, which said: WELCOME TO NERV MOSCOW-TOKYO-03 EVA TRAINING PROGRAM, try saying that three times fast.
As both Kaji, and Asuka sat in their first-class seats, Asuka began to move her feet in the seat out of excitement, Asuka was filled with enthusiasm of being on an airplane again, even though her nightmare had taken place in a plane, she didn't take it as a sign of worry. The only time she had ever gotten on a plane was during her first time flying to Moscow as part of the more advanced training program of EVA Pilots, where she would begin to pilot an EVANGELION UNIT for real and not via a simulation. The day her flight took place was the day she had graduated, becoming the first EVA Pilot in what was then Eastern Germany, and for that matter in the world, since this experiment of NERV was top secret, so that the USA and the UN wouldn't get involved. That day would have been perfect if it weren't for what happened next. My mother hanging, the letter she left, the KGB Agents picking me up.
Asuka looked around her as she waited for the plane to take off. Her eyes began to fixate on the paper Kaji had, she wanted to do something, she was bored. "I don't think he will mind; he does deserve punishment after making me miss breakfast.", she thought as she grabbed Kajis newspaper, who was reading it when the little devil took it from his hand. With anger filling his face, "I was reading that" he said pissed off, trying not to scream at her. Asuka returned the gesture by sticking her tongue out, as Kaji trying to not be mad at the girl, took out a cigarette to smoke with his new watermelon colored lighter he had bought at the airport. After lighting the cigarette, he began to grumble to himself, "First you arrive late, and then you take my paper. What's next, you're going to take my lighter too? Fuck me". Asuka read the newspaper, it was Asukas passion to know everything, and stay up to date with everything. Never did she stop reading about world events or history, she hated ignorance, people who could not see more than they got, it reminded her of why she hated the clouds in her nightmare, they never questioned their purpose and kept moving.
As the plane began to take off, making everything shake as if an earthquake was happening, Asuka kept reading the paper as if nothing were happening.
US AND SOUTH VIETNAMESE FORCES GAIN GROUND OVER NORTH VIETNAMESE FORCES. AMERICAN FORCES CLOSE IN ON HANOI. SOVIET AND CHINESE AID APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN HALTED. DATE OF PUBLICATION: MAY 1ST, 1980.
"So, the US is winning, a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one". Asuka thought with a smile in her face. Ever since her mother died, she has grown a hatred for communism, no not communism but towards the people who rule with force hiding behind an ideology to achieve their goals. "Bastards". As soon as they were in the air, Kaji turned to Asuka, but not before looking around to see if nobody was close or listening. "Alright, let's begin," he said as he extinguished his cigarette and took out a briefcase that had a lock. Asuka knew what she was doing, but even when knowing, a sense of uneasiness came upon her, she was scared. Though not being one to admit her sense of nervousness, she began to lighten the mood, as Kaji failed two times to open the combination. "So do you always forget to remember your passwords, you sure are a sloppy one" she said sarcastically, trying to hold her laughter. "Ha, ha, ha". He said in a very sarcastic way, which made Asuka a bit mad. "Very funny Asuka. No, I just have some issues opening the briefcase, that's all". The girl made him mad, but he appreciated her company, he tried to make her feel comfortable always making sure to not piss her off or yell at her, he had seen her file, the poor girl, she had suffered enough.
"Click"
"Ah, there we go," Kaji said as the briefcase opened. "Here you go".
"Thanks". She said as she grabbed the files Kaji had retrieved from the briefcase, keeping a copy for himself.
"Ok, serious mode on" Kaji said as he made a fool of himself trying to look serious, acting like if he was a machine turning on, it made Asuka smile, and laugh a bit. He laughed too, smiling in return, but then it disappeared when he got serious, which scared Asuka a bit, as he began to speak with that deep voice but in a very professional, and efficient way.
"Today we start with our mission", he said, and Asuka nodded, and followed the text he read.
CODE-NAMED OPERATION DOWNFALL. AGENT IN TRAINING: ASUKA LANGLEY SORYU, AND FIELD AGENT: RYOJO KAJI WILL TRAVEL TO JAPAN. THERE HE WILL DELIVER ASUKA TO NERV CENTRAL IN TOKYO-03, WHERE SHE WOULD BE USED AS A REPLACEMENT FOR THE FIRST CHILDREN: REI IKARI, WHO SUSTAINED LIFE-THREATENING INJURIES DURING THE ENCOUNTER WITH THE NINETEENTH ANGEL. ASUKA LANGLEY WILL BE TASKED WITH GAINING THE SUPPORT OF THE THIRD CHILDREN: SHINJI IKARI. HE IS CLASSIFIED AS A VIP AS HE IS THE SON OF GENDO IKARI, NIPPON'S GENERAL SECRETARY. HARM SHOULD NOT BE DONE TOWARDS SHINJI. FINAL OBJECTIVE; THE OVERTHROWING AND ASSASSINATION OF GENDO IKARI.
Asukas eyes became wider out of confusion with the last part. ''Kaji, I thought we were just going to overthrow, and arrest the guy, when were you going to tell me we were killi-"
"Shhh" Kaji said as a flight attendant passed by, when she was out of view, Kaji explained very quietly, almost like if he was whispering to Asuka, "Orders came fresh, apparently the guy has been doing some bad things, things we know nothing of".
"How bad are we talking about?" Asuka replied, hoping for an answer to ease her ever-growing nervousness.
"I don't know" he said defeated, noticing Asukas disappointed look with the uncertainty in his tone, so he continued speaking in a more optimist manner, to try and cheer Asuka up, "but that's why I am going in to find out. I have been tasked with infiltrating NERV, it shouldn't be too hard, I have a friend already inside, she will back me up".
Asuka now looked at Kaji with a devious smile on her face. "What's with the face, Asuka?" he asked her.
"Oh nothing, it's that you said it was she, maybe the mission can turn into a cliché James Bondesque moment for you" she remarked, snickering.
Kaji started blushing, shocked as a child was embarrassing him while he was a grown adult, how fucking embarrassing. He tried to hide behind his professionalism, "No, Asuka it's not like that she is just an old friend from colle-"
"Oooooo" she said in a gossipy way, as if she was teasing one of her girlfriends for things she had done with her boyfriend, wanting more details like in one of those stupid romantic movies she had seen when she was staying in her hotel room in Los Angeles.
"EH-HMMM, ASUKA" he hissed as she laughed at him. "Can we please continue?"
"With pleasure, Mr. Casanova" she said mockingly, making a chuckle emanate from Kajis serious face. "Anyway, as I was saying…"
His words began to trail off as Asukas smile began to fade away, losing herself in her inner thoughts. There they are: the clouds. Each so different, it reminded of my dream saw from my dream. As a 14-year-old, I would have thought about the world in that way, everything being disgusting for their lack of questioning of rules. But I grew up, and realized I was fucking dumb, it's not everything in life that follows rules without questioning, only us dumb apes can do shit like that. She looked at her hand, opening and closing it, the same one that held the note her mother had left her, the same one she used to punch the mirror in her dream, she kept closing and opening. She notices the photo of the guy she had to tag along with, picking it up. Shinji Ikari, "Huh" she scoffed as she looked at the picture of the boy, he had medium-length straight brown hair, Grable eyes, skinny, probably taller than Asuka, though height didn't make a difference, if she had to kick some sense into him, she didn't care if he was the fucking Empire State Building, she would knock him out cold. He had a face that looked like he barely knew anything, but those eyes, Asuka kept looking at them, she was confused as to why, but she just looked at them. Backing away from the photo, her face had a frown with eyes looking skeptical, and mad at the boy she hadn't even met. "He looks like an idiot".
"SKKRRTTT"
"SKRTTTTTT"
The plane had touched down and began to slow down in the runway as it headed for the gate. Before landing, Kaji had wondered why she looked at Shinji like that. He kept talking about the mission for 30 to 40 minutes only to find the girl that after seeing the photo of the boy, and saying he was an idiot, fell asleep. He sighed and gave her a blanket. Afterwards, he too decided to get some rest as well, since it was a long flight.
Now that they had arrived, they stretched their legs, and took the luggage out of the upper compartments. When Asuka exited the terminal, she was blinded by the sun, and began to see what Japan truly was. A city of wonder, the marvel of technology allowed this city to advance so rapidly. She felt like if she was in the year 2015. She had always thought that communism made this city feel more of like a wasteland, comparable to the state of the original city. But she couldn't believe her eyes. "Wow" she proclaimed with shine coming from her eyes. She saw something that caught her off guard, a propaganda poster, however it wasn't any normal propaganda poster, it was a hologram. "Wow" she said, wanting to touch it to see if it was like in the movies. Suddenly, she jumped, scared by the sudden appearance of the Third Children. "Welcome to Tokyo-03, the city of tomorrow, we hope you will enjoy your stay" the hologram of Shinji proclaimed with happiness and excitement coming from his mouth, his father suddenly appearing with a smile, "this city is the modern equivalent to the lost city of Atlantis, a paradise built by humanity after the tragedy that was the Second Impact", Asuka saw as both the father, and son appeared in frame with hands on their shoulders, "The Utopia that was once was fantasy can now be achieved" Shinji said, "Thanks to unity and strength, tomorrow will be better than today" his father followed. The hologram then ended and began playing some other thing. She was shocked by the boy's posture, and way of speaking, had she been wrong about him during the flight? Of course not, it's a fucking propaganda film.
Kaji and Asuka arrived at the hotel, it was luxurious, she never imagined that a communist country could feel like a western country, everything looked clean, brand new, nothing felt out of place. When they arrived at their room, the manager of the hotel bowed and gave them the keys after showing them to their rooms
"Why did the manager escort us" Asuka confused as to why a butler couldn't do it.
"Were you paying attention to anything I said," he said irritated, and he whispered into her ear. "We are special guest of honor, remember, Pilot 02, EVA-02, ring a bell".
"Ohhhh yeahhh" Asuka said now remembering what he had said, she also remembered that Kaji was playing the part of an important member of NERV-MOSCOW sent to Tokyo-03.
"Well, Asuka, I'll leave you to get adjusted to your new room," he said as he closed the door. As soon as the door closed, Asuka jumped onto the soft, and fluffy bed, exhausted after being on that plane for more than 15 hours, she still had jet lag. She was happy being in this grand palace, but her memories came back, and she began to regret having her newfound happiness. This enjoyment came at the cost of so many agents, who risked their lives to make sure the information, and data for 3 years was correct to ensure safety to them, and to continue their mission. Giving their lives without questioning orders, she should not feel pity, because it reminded her of her mother. Selfishly giving up their lives, never to see their families or friends due to orders. Asuka wanted to save lives, she knew she had nothing else in her life, so she had no worry or sadness to turn to if she would be caught. This made her into the perfect candidate for the mission, the only one, due to her status as pilot. I'll show you Momma, you were wrong to abandon me, I'll show mercy to those who deserve it, and help those who wish to escape, I'll show you Momma.
"KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK"
Asuka jumps as she hears knocking on the door, she pulls out her gun, it was given by the special contact Kaji had here at Tokyo-03, he gave it to Asuka, wanting her to protect herself in case of any danger. She put herself in a position to begin a shootout, already thinking the mission was blown.
"Asuka it's me Kaji, open up" hearing his voice made Asuka calm. She hid the gun and opened the door. She saw the man for the first time in something else than his suit. A short that exposed his hairy legs, and a blue t-shirt that went along with his blue shorts. His ponytail, undone, revealing a mess of hair.
"What is it?" Asuka asked.
"I forgot to tell you that the contact picking you up is the kid, so try and talk him" he told her, her faced turned into an angry glare. "The baka is picking me up? No fucking way, I'll take the bus, hell, I'll even go on foot than let that idiot pick me up." She said in an annoyed way, not wanting anything to do with that idiot, but then she remembered her part of the mission, so she sighed "Fine, I'll go with him" she said defeated.
"It's not a request Asuka, it's an order, I know you don't like taking orders, however I need you to do this because we need to establish a connection with the kid, so please give it your all." He said smiling at her, Asuka felt disgusted being asked to do something not out of favor, but out of necessity, however it was Kaji who said it, the man she could only trust, he had been there for her during those two years of training in the CIA under his wing, the man was the closest thing to family, so she smiled back at Kaji. "Great" he said as he was about to leave, Asuka closed the door, and he ran back putting his hand between the closing door "Wait I forgot something, I forgot to give you these." He opened Asukas hands and placed something in them, and closed it back with his own hand, and left his hand there for a brief minute. "It's better to use protection, than to not use any, so take care Asuka." Asuka smiled at him, "Thanks Kaji, for looking out for me, Good Night" she said as she was closing the door.
"Night" he said, his face disappearing as the door closed shut.
Asuka turned around and let her back slide down the door, now on the floor, she began to shed tears. Better to use protection, than to not use any, what a weird way to put it Kaji, feels like you're telling me to have safe sex. I wished that's what you meant with those words… I wished.
Asuka opened her hands, revealing what Kaji had left in her hands, it was two long containers, they looked very breakable if exerted with enough force, they were made for chewing to get out of sticky situations, the oldest trick in the book of spying: Cyanide capsules.