Well here I am again, back in this fandom after like two years and I have no idea what's going on with the show at the moment, but I'm happy to be here.

Here is a very stupid one shot which was very rushed, but hopefully vaguely amusing. Enjoy!

On the highest rooftop in Paris, towering above the rest of the city and being rather too high up for the comfort of many, there was a battle going on.

The battle was, as was customary, between ladybug, chat noir and todays akuma.

This time, Hawkmoth had chosen a girl from one the local school and taken advantage of the betrayal she felt when her best friend had sat near someone else. She was now decked out in a rather atrocious costume – purple and red with glitter everywhere for some reason – and attacking the two superheroes with more force than was strictly necessary.

Ladybug, deflecting a punch and backflipping casually to stand heroically back to back with chat noir, groaned. This was taking forever and she did actually have stuff to do. Granted, 'stuff' was homework for tomorrow, and it could probably wait until the last minute, but it would be amazing if she could actually get it done early for once. That was getting less and less likely as the fight went on. Ladybug could tell that the akuma wasn't a natural fighter, but hawkmoth was apparently in a foul mood today and wanted to take it out on her and chat. Just typical.

She swung round to block another attack and glanced at chat who was having just as hard a time as her.

Well, she supposed it couldn't be avoided. Time to pull out the big guns.

"Lucky charm!" she yelled, throwing her arm in the air. The familiar flying ladybugs that inexplicably appeared out of nowhere rushed down and somehow repaired all the property damage from that particular fight. She had to ask Tikki how that worked because it was ridiculously convenient.

She and chat went their separate ways after their customary fist bump, with him vaulting off in the direction of the rich side of town, and her swinging away to the bakery. She changed back in her normal side alley, checking for onlookers. With a chime and perhaps too much force, she pushed open the door to the bakery and greeted her parents, then apologised to her dad who had dropped his tray of macaroons because of the loud noise. With a sheepish grin, she made her way upstairs and slumped onto her bed. Tikki flew out of her bag, exhausted, and she dug around for the treat she kept for that very purpose. Then, with her kwami fed and recovering from the fight, Marinette sighed and began on her homework.

A few hours and an essay or two later, she decided it was no longer humanly possible to do any more work, and so she went to bed, dreaming of blonde hair, hamsters and, for some reason, Sabrina.

When she woke, Tikki was hovering over her face, clearly impatient, and Marinette nudged her off with a groan.

"You're going to be late." Tikki warned, drifting above her school bag. "Make sure you bring the homework you didn't do last night."

"Thanks for reminding me." She muttered. "I thought you weren't capable of sarcasm."

The kwami shrugged. "I've been learning from Plagg."

Marinette got to school exactly three and a half minutes late, which, according to her science teacher, was a heinous and unforgivable crime. She slid into her seat next to Alya who rolled her eyes.

School was great for the first hour or so. Well, great would involve homework that was done, and being able to stay awake in class, so perhaps it wasn't great, but it was tolerable, and Marinette was just starting to understand the translation they'd been given in English, when there came an extremely loud bang from across the city. Mylene, sitting next to the open window, had screamed, ducked for cover under the table, and then gotten her phone out to see the media reporting on an attack.

"Great." Alya said. "Who's Chloe upset this time?"

"Uh, excuse me?" Marinette raised her hand. "Can I go to the bathroom please?"

To her credit, miss bustier tried. "Surely you can hold it, Marinette? I can't let you go during an attack, you know that."

At this point, Adrien raised his own hand. "I really need to go too." He said. "We'll go straight to a safe place after, we promise."

"I'm really not meant to…"

"Thanks, miss bustier!" Adrien yelled, running out of the classroom.

Huh. Marinette thought. He must really need the toilet. Well, she might as well make a run for it too.

She managed to find somewhere to transform and met chat noir on one of the many roofs in Paris.

"So where's this akuma?" chat asked, twirling his baton. Ladybug studied the horizon.

"I don't know. I can't see anything."

"I mean the big bang thing did come from the other direction" he said. "You could try looking there."

She whirled round. "Shut up, Chat."

It was at that point that the big bad villain decided to reveal themselves in what ladybug thought was an overly dramatic way.

First, there were trumpets which had inexplicably appeared from thin air. Next were the butterflies, and last, rising from a platform that had come out of some random parisian's house, there was hawkmoth.

It would be nice to say that ladybug and chat noir immediately got into perfect fighting stances and acted with the grace befitting their reputation. Instead however, Chat Noir stumbled back in his shock, tripping Ladybug and throwing both of them to the ground in a very ungraceful heap.

"Hello." Said Hawkmoth jovially. "I've come to kill you.

"Well." chat raised his eyebrows. "That's not very nice. Any particular reason?"

Hawkmoth grinned, a horrible thing which chat felt was oddly familiar. "You see," he began, "I'm fed up."

"Of us? Ladybug asked, "Or of life in general. Cause if it's the second, then me too."

"Of you, you nitwits." He growled. "Every day I send my akumas out, and every day they come back empty handed. So I decided I would just do the job myself."

"Didn't you try that a couple of months ago?" Chat reminded him.

"Yeah, and we stopped you." Ladybug added.

"Shut up, you insolent heroes."

"Wow." Chat said. "You sound like my dad."

"Chat, now is not the time to talk about your parental problems." Ladybug gripped her yoyo tighter and narrowed her eyes. "Now is the time to talk about his fashion choices. Seriously dude? That outfit is hideous! My eyes are burning just looking at it."

Hawkmoth, who had been preparing for an attack, stumbled back as if he'd been shot. His hand clutched his heart, and he leaned against a convenient railing on the rooftop.

"How dare you!" he gasped. "How very dare you!"

Ladybug had just gotten started. "It's not just your outfit either. I mean, yours is terrible, but some of the stuff you give akumas is a crime. I mean really. Remember Nino? The bubble guy? His costume was horrendous. And that photo guy? He looked horrible. Have you ever even looked at anything on design? Colour theory? Literally anything that you can find on the internet?"

"I-"

"It is pretty bad, dude." Chat told him. "I'm not a fashion expert like m'lady appears to be, but even I can tell they're bad."

"And honestly!" Ladybug continued, now red in the face and shaking her fist. "I've been up close to some of the costumes, and the stitching is terrible! If you're going to design your own costumes, at least make them high quality. I'm surprised they don't fall apart!"

"I-"

"What fabric is that suit made of?" she stormed up to him, grabbing his collar and inspecting the material. "Just as I thought." She growled. "Silk."

"And what's wrong with silk?"

"Everything. It's completely impractical to fight in – it rips so easily, and you obviously haven't been caring for it well. Its fraying at the edges and you are such an idiot!"

Chat Noir had somehow got hold of a box of popcorn, and he sat on the edge of the roof, thoroughly enjoying the show.

"Now look here." Hawkmoth snarled. "Don't you dare insult me about fashion. You don't know anything! I went to school for years to learn this stuff and I am one of the most respected fashion designers in the world. How dare you insult me. Especially while wearing that costume. I mean lycra? Really?"

"Wow." Said Chat again. "Now you really do sound like my dad. Since we're all sharing our jobs for some reason, I might as well say that I'm a model, and as a professional modeler person, I can say that you really have no sense of style. Hey! Another reason you're like my dad. He forces me to model his stuff, and its rubbish."

"Is your name Adrien, by any chance?" asked Hawkmoth, tone dangerously low. "Because if it is, we are having a serious talk when you get home."

Ladybug, feeling a bit put out at being ignored for all of thirty seconds, said, "Ignoring the fact that you two appear to be the Agrestes, can we please talk about your terrible fashion designing? Please? I have so much more to say!"

"Shut it." The villain barked. "I am Gabriel Agreste, world famous, multiple award winning fashion designer, and I will not stand for this insolent slander."

"And I am Marinette Dupain Cheng, and I am a one time competition winning amateur fashion designer who apparently knows more than you!"

Chat raised his eyebrows at the revelations. "Again, since we're all sharing, I suppose I'll tell you that I am Adrien Agreste, and you two are seriously scaring me with your fashion obsession. Also, hi Marinette, you're cool. Also, father, what the fuck?"

"Language Adrien!"

"Oh shut up, father." He paused, tilting his head. "Wow. That felt good to say."

I want to say that this was the most ridiculous thing I've ever written, but unfortunately, that isn't true. Anyway, hope you liked it!