The unflagging support of a best friend, someone with whom Marinette could be truly intimate, now that the weighty secret of her identity had been unveiled, had truly been a god-send.

Despite her obstinate and fiery disposition, Alya understood subtlety and conniving deception in ways that Marinette could never hope to imagine.

Granted, anything was better than that time that a blurry-eyed Marinette had crawled into class, typically tardy, and used "My Cat was having a slumber party last night" as an excuse.

While unconvincing to Madame Mendeleiev with her sardonically-cocked brow, it had the benefit of being entirely true, though it was still her responsibility. Chat Noir wanted to have a sleep over with her stuffed animals because his father never let him have one – either stuffed animals or a slumber party.

Marinette was going to have to deck that man in the schnoz one of these days.

Chat's happy vibrations and soft smile had been enough to make the following day of misery, punctuated by roughly two-dozen cups of coffee, worthwhile.

That having been said, Alya's worst deceptive efforts to conceal Marinette's super-heroics from the public, supplemented by her expert manipulation of the Ladybug fandom for her own personal and political purposes (And people said that bloggers weren't real journalists!), were better than anything that Marinette could have done.

One of the many boons imparted by Alya, alongside the massive reduction in Marinette's mental load, was that she started to find more time for her friends, enjoying girls' nights with Alya and the rest of her cohort, and indulging in increasingly frequent orange juice and breakfast meet-ups with Kagami .

Regular interpersonal interactions were nearly enough to make her feel, well, human again.

And she was finally able to start to reposition Adrien into the slightly morose mental box of "friendship."

Of course, Adrien made that hard, every step of the way, as he did now.

"Hey, Marinette," Adrien offered, turning in his seat and resting his forearms on her desk. "Do you want to head out for some ice cream at Andre's cart? He's been seen near the Louvre today."

What a kind invitation that had no romantic undertones even if it had been conveyed in a purring lilt that sent little lapping kitty-tongues of sandpaper-flame wriggling inside of Marinette's gut!

"Uh, oh, well, are you slur - sure Kagami won't bind you and me-" Oh, God, why was she thinking about Kagami binding her when that didn't make sense and also she wasn't this much of a spaz even though her brain had just now started laughing at her - "Mind you and me spending time together? I- I know that you're dating," she finished in a coherent nigh-whimper, her face falling.

Adrien appeared either oblivious to her plight or feigned such in an effort to lift her spirits, reaching out a hand to her shoulder as he graced her with a comforting, soft grin. "Oh, Kagami and I had a long talk, and, well, she made me realize that we were both lying to each other a lot, really. We helped each other to realize some things. She won't mind in the least – well, at least not for the reasons that you're thinking."

Okay. Odd way of putting it, but Adrien was utterly incapable of deception, perfect little cinnamon roll coated with gobs and gobs of tasty frosting all white and drippy that Marinette wanted to lick off his spongy pastry body even though that was where the metaphor broke off completely because she didn't want to lick things off Adrien and his body would be totally ripped at least when his dad let him eat a proper diet filled with lots and lots of tasty well-seasoned meat which was also something that she should add to her diet...

Oh. Marinette winced at the indulgent and patent expression on Adrien's face.

Just how long had she been talking to herself?

No matter.

"Yep!" she yelped, flopping around in her chair like a Magikarp out of water and ginning manically, "I scream! For ice cream. Going to get!" An equally manic laugh echoed through the classroom, no one but Adrien paying any attention to it because they were used to Marinette's disaster-spirals by now. "You know how much I love eating cream!"

She winced and slapped an open palm to her forehead.

"I mean ice dream! Everyone loves eating ice cream! Which people dream about!"

And so it was that Adrien dragged her out of the classroom like a toddler tugging his mother through the door after he had been promised, well, a trip to the ice-cream man, all gushing glee.

Surveying them with a critical eye, Andre had simply stroked the thick roll of blubber under his chin and turned to the myriad flavours in his cart, not even bothering to offer a rhyme due, Marinette was certain, to the fact that they were not to receive sweetheart's ice cream, even if the Lime-drop scoop that Andre presented did remind her of Adrien's eyes.

The blackberry was more a match for her own hair, and there was nothing orange about either of them; Adrien had never been subjected to a spray tan, so far as Marinette knew.

And if Marinette hadn't seen Adrien modelling with a tan-in-a-can hue, then it hadn't happened.

Although even with the skin-tone of an Umpa Lumpa, Adrien probably still would have been sexy.

Having generously offered to pay for their not-date ice cream, Adrien tugged her off for a stroll, ice cream in one hand and Oh God in heaven!

Her hand in the other, his fingers soft and warm and talented, stroking her knuckles and somehow giving her a whole-body massage with just the slow roll of his thumb against her thenar webspace (which she learnt in anatomy class was that weird flap of skin between your thumb and forefinger, thank you brain) that caused the knotted muscles in her shoulders and around her spine to uncoil and a whole host of new muscles she'd never known existed to clench up in her stomach

A more than swimming not-date, even if Marinette had been tempted to cool off by grabbing a water bottle and pouring it out of her head, until-

"Adrien, I thought that we had reached an agreement," came an aggrieved yet partially-amused holler. "What is the meaning of this?"

There Kagami stood, having just rounded the corner of a building to find Marinette being her typical garbage human self and trying to steal the fencer's perfectly-matched boyfriend.

Had...

Had Adrien actually lied?!

Was he trysting – trying! to... two-time his girlfriend?

Equal parts flattering, impossible, and distressing.

What was-

"Sorry, Kagami." Adrien's tone was a typically deferential mewl, bespeaking the genuine, soulful contrition that she detected so often from him, but there was a lilting confidence to it as well, akin to Chat's cockiness. Oh, no! No Chat-cockiness for Adrien!

She'd burn in hell and like it.

Adrien, however, wasn't done.

"I tried to wait, but... I realized that I love Marinette more," he said with a confident nod and squeeze.

Oh sweet Tikki! This had to be an akuma-induced fantasy, and, if so, well, yeah, wake her up because she had a duty to defend the real Adrien and maybe princess-carry him somewhere like the top of the Eiffel tower where he would proclaim his love to her which might have been a delusion just like this one, but at least have the courtesy to wait until she got through the really good and steamy parts!

"Well I'm sorry too," Kagami offered, teeth flashing like a dog baring her fangs and snarling and a toddler offering a massive, giggling grin at the same time. Suddenly her hand was firm and warm around Marinette's palm, and they were both holding her hands! "Because I love Marinette the most."

Okay.

This was... okay.

Warm palms.

Little sweaty on Marinette's part.

Threesome fantasies could work out just fine, random akuma. Keep up the good work out there and don't be too hard on Chat, okay?

"Well, I'm sorry." Adrien shook his head with a squeeze to her hand that she was surprised wasn't squished like putty because that was definitely what her stomach, heart, and legs consisted of at the moment as her face flamed up in the pressure cooker of... Adrigami on either side. "But I got here first ."

"In that case, you should be the first to leave; you have had your time with her." Did Kagami always look so regal in her haughty dismissals and why was Marinette's mouth going dry at that imperious tone?

Kagami was always a commanding presence, taking firm ownership of any room into which she strode and radiating hot-and-cold waves of ambiguously demeaning energy that could make you feel like dirt under her heel and kind of like it but that was nonsense because she was also sweet and buoyed you up like a warm and placid sea that cast a fine mist and got the sides of your flotation device which was also called a buoy all wet so it was like you were drowning and this was a very confusing metaphor or maybe analogy Marinette wasn't sure at this juncture that may have gotten out of control by this point because-

Because they were now pressing in on either side, Adrien's svelte form warm as their bare – holy Hannah their entire bare arms and hands were touching – arms slid against one another, hot and slick with just a smidgen of sweat, while Kagami leaned in, smelling of jasmine perfume and cinnamon which was, perhaps, a spice that Marinette needed to introduce into her diet more frequently.

All the better to season that creamy roll.

"No way; she's still only my princess." Adrien loosed a defiant huff, chest puffed out as he towered over both of them. "Soon, she'll be my queen! I can't leave until then."

Kagami seemed far less impressed than Marinette by the territorial display. "Oh, well she's not just my queen. She's already my Goddess-"

"Oh! She's my world -" At this juncture, Adrien attempted to mime a circle, presumably to represent the globe, with his hands, but as he wasn't going to be letting go, and Marinette's death grip on his fingers wouldn't have let him if he'd tried, the attempt was half-hearted at best. "And I live in her heart!"

Not that Marinette herself could manage a half-hearted anything. Not now that it had stopped since she was falling into a swoon that might be death.

It was kind of hard to tell.

"Probably at the side!" Kagami deflected, jabbing her chin at Adrien while cradling Marinette's hand to her chest. "I live in the center of her heart."

"Oh really?"

" Indeed really!"

"Well," Chat- uh, Adrien. This was Adrien ! Adrien punctuated his petulant retort with a sassy head-cock. "I'm at the center-est!"

"There's no such thing as – ugh fine!" Kagami tossed a hand into the air, but fortunately not in the pugilistic sense. A slapfest probably would have had to transpire right in front of Marinette's face given that neither Adrien nor Kagami appeared inclined to let go even though she was melting into Marinette soup.

It must have been getting a little tough to hold on to her.

Kagami scoffed, as if thoroughly disgust-delighted. "I shall countenance your nonsense, Adrien, as I am prone to overindulging you. I will see you on the piste. Whoever wins, she will date Marinette-kohai first!"

"Right," Adrien purred, by mutual silent agreement both fencers releasing her hands simultaneously before clasping each other's palms and starting to walk off. "And when you lose, you'll have to wait until next weekend!"

"I would wait forever to date Marinette!" Their conjoined hands commenced a happy swing.

"Oh yeah, well I'd wait forever and a day!"

"That doesn't make sense." A furrow of consternation – one which made Kagami look like a cute little mouse to whom Marinette should really give Mullo while she borrowed Chat's miraculous for ...reasons – crossed the fencer's face.

Pausing for an instant, she raised Adrien's hand in front of them and considered their interlocked fingers quizzically. "Perhaps we should let go of each other's hands and race to the gym."

Adrien blinked, then smiled.

"Great idea." Allowing his grip to slacken, Adrien started to stretch to limber up his legs. "Also, it's a Shakespeare reference. Look it up."

"I am well aware that it's from As You Like It. I'm not an uncultured barbarian," Kagami offered while showing off a perfect butt when leaning down to touch her toes. Marinette began to quiver. Her whole body. "But it besmirches Marinette's honor that you would reference a comedy to describe your love for her."

Their voices trailed off into silence as they parted, Adrien and Kagami jogging off in a race to their fencing academy, bickering all the while, though that might have just been play-fighting to get them in the mood now that they'd found their "honest" relationship dynamic.

Sadly, Marinette was incapable of actually contemplating the matter as every gear inside her clockwork brain had seized up, leaving her lone remaining brain-cell to tug futilely at the frozen levers and cranks.

While Marinette stood stock, stone still in the middle of the sidewalk, pedestrians were forced to hop to the street, and then the other side of the road because no one fully sane could bear that particular agog expression and those red cheeks bespoke some doubtlessly-terminal kind of communicable disease.

Eventually, after what may have been roughly an hour of herculean struggle from Marinette's brain cell, a voice cried out from behind her.

"Hey, Girl! Whatcha doin' out here?"

Turning in only a slightly mechanical and halting fashion as the obstruction was dislodged in her brain and the gears rumbled back to life, Marinette saw Alya trotting down the sidewalk towards her, an expression of faint concern on her face.

Nothing beyond a particularly embarrassing frog croak emerged when she opened her mouth in an effort to reply.

"Oh, Adrien and Kagami put the moves on you," Alya offered, nodding and slugging Marinette in the shoulder but the processors were still spooling, rendering Marinette completely insensate to pain.

Thirst, on the other hand...

"I- they... fencing match... Pollyanna... trip to- ticket price?"

"Don't worry, they can afford to pay for your ticket to see, uh, Pollyanna, if that's the euphemism that you're using." Alya's arm was warm and heavy as she threw it over Marinette's shoulders, guiding her... somewhere. "Chin up, girl. You just hit the jackpot, and so did I. Now that they're distracted, we can go get coffee."

When Adrien and Kagami arrived in a sweaty tangle of limbs, trying to beat each other through the door, to demand that Marinette referee another fencing match for them, as only her keen sensibilities would do, the girl in question could only blubber and wail in a partially-aroused screech while Alya threw her a packet of condoms and a pair - definitely a hearty and symbolically relevant pair – of thumbs-up.

And Adrien and Kagami took Marinette to see Pollyanna, which turned out to be a really good movie.