MiraculElse #25: When You Know What You Want
by DFC
(Timeline: Season 4.)
The evening was a cool one, chilly by most people's standards. There wasn't even a chance, however, that Adrien Agreste's far bedroom window would be closing.
Despite his father's regular admonishments about how he was not paying to heat the ENTIRE GREAT OUTDOORS, young man and I cannot comprehend that you or anyone else could be comfortable this way, despite the maids and cleaning staff being told to close and lock it at every opportunity, despite the occasional idle threat to have steel bars welded over top of it, Adrien always made sure that it was open - at least a crack's worth - unless it was so frigid outside that there was absolutely no chance that a midnight visitor might arrive.
And even then, he usually did. Just in case.
When you are fifteen years old, and the first girl that you've ever fallen in love with has a magical supersuit that lets her soar above the rooftops, and you're romantic enough to daydream about how maybe, just maybe, she might have some hidden feelings for you and is just waiting for the right moment to visit you and confess and fall into your arms... you don't take chances. You don't rule anything out. And you especially don't leave her on the wrong side of a closed and locked second-story window, should she decide that tonight's the night.
Not that tonight ever seemed to be that night, of course... but what if it was?
Though, deep down, he had to admit to himself... even if this or tomorrow or the next day was that night, it would be more complicated now than it would've been not that long ago.
This particular night was cool... but quiet. A good quiet.
Adrien had finished his lessons, his homework and his usual methods of relaxation (a little reading, a little TV, some noodling around on the Internet) without fanfare. A quick scan of the LadyBlog, TV and radio revealed no imminent threats to Parisians' safety and welfare, which was fine by Adrien; Thursday nights were meant to be quiet, he felt. Hawkmoth seemed to feel the same way; most of his Akumas took flight either on weekends or Tuesdays, for whatever reason, though there were exceptions to that.
Which left Adrien in a comfortable position - on his back, the lights out, his pajamas on, his eyes closed. Dreams weren't always a safe space for him... but they usually were, and often seemed preferable to some aspects of his reality.
He lay still, listening to the sounds of the city in the distance, a light hum from a nearby fan the only other aural presence.
...At least at first.
About half an hour later, or at least that was how his mind estimated time's passage, a light thumping noise across the room caught his remaining attention.
Plagg, what are you doing over there? he wondered. Knock it off, already. I'm trying to sleep! he grumped, internally.
Quiet resumed...
...followed by a small creaking sound, as if the wind had blown his window further open.
That got Adrien's attention, and opened his eyes. That window is far too heavy for a light breeze to move it, he reasoned, ...and it's calm out tonight.
"Is someone there?" he called out, straining to make out small shadows near the window, wondering if Plagg was to whom he should be calling out instead. "Hello?"
The shadows seemed to merge into one larger shadow, which approached him quietly... and took on a humanoid form as it got closer.
"Adrien... please don't yell," came a quiet voice. "It's only me. You're very safe."
As soft as her tone was, trying not to be overheard by anyone else... it was still a voice that Adrien felt sure that he would know anywhere, anytime in the world.
And here she was.
"L-L-L-LADYBUG?"
Adrien launched himself up to a sitting position, clasping his sheets so that they were covering him, then allowing them to fall to the bed once he remembered that he was satisfactorily clothed and covered. Flashing his guest would be quite impolite.
"What... um... hi!" he babbled. "I don't... what are you doing here?"
"Can't a girl pay a handsome boy a visit, now and then?" she giggled in response. "I mean... you did leave your window open. Kind of an open invitation, I'd say."
"I, uh... well, yes! It was kind of an invitation," said Adrien, struggling for words. "Not that I meant it to be presumptuous, or anything..."
"I didn't take it like that. Not like you were expecting me... because from your reaction just now, clearly, you weren't."
"It's a wonderful surprise! Especially at this time of night." Rubbing his eyes briefly, Adrien checked his clock, which read 1:16 AM. "Is... everything all right?" he asked. "I mean... it's hard to imagine you out in the middle of the night, unless it was an emergency."
"Well, it's not a bad emergency... I don't think it is, anyway," Ladybug replied, appearing a little nervous to Adrien's wondering eyes. "May I... may I sit down here?"
"Of... course you may," Adrien stammered, scooting over to make room for Ladybug next to him on his bed. She plopped down without further ado, her head turning slowly to smile at him, her legs swinging back and forth just a bit.
"We can, uh... move over to the couch, if you'd be more comfortable there," Adrien suggested.
"N-no! This is, um, fine," replied Ladybug, very quickly. "This is... kind of where I wanted to... um... I don't mean that I'm... uh... well..."
Her blush was so obvious that even in the dim light of Adrien's darkened bedroom, he could see it.
"Oh, god..." he heard her mumble to herself. "I told myself that I wasn't going to just throw myself at you, but you're so hard to resist. Just... just tell him, already! I can do this."
"Tell me what?"
Adrien leaned towards her, hanging on her every word. The look that she gave him in return displayed an aching need that he didn't think that he'd ever seen in her eyes before.
"Adrien... do you know what I was doing tonight, before I came here?" Ladybug asked him. "I was laying in my bed, trying to sleep... and thinking about you. Like I do almost every night."
Voluntary motion ceased in that instant.
"Dreaming of your face, your smile... what your kiss would feel like. What your touch would feel like," she admitted. "Your honesty, your sweetness, your bravery. How much that I want you. How much that I need to be yours, Adrien."
"I-if you'll have me, of course," Ladybug stammered. "I kind of think that from the way you're looking at me right now, the things you've said to me, how you get a little nervous around me sometimes... that you will. That you have feelings for me, like I have them for you. I hope that I'm right about that."
"I..."
"You're shaken up. Of course you are," she soothed him. "I'm just sailing through your window and dropping a love bomb on you out of nowhere, right? I'm shaking like a leaf right now, inside. I've never said anything like this to anyone, ever! But... I couldn't wait another minute without coming here and saying it. I love you, Adrien. I want you to know that. I want you to hold me, and kiss me, and wrap me up in your arms right now until the morning light."
She looked down, shyly, then back at him again with questions pouring out of her eyes.
"Would you like that?" she asked.
"I'm... I have to be dreaming. This can't be real," was Adrien's fumbling first response.
"Do you want it to be a dream?" asked Ladybug, coyly, looking hopeful. "Or is this something you would want to be real?"
"Oh, I want it to be real! I... Ladybug, I've been in love with you for a long time," Adrien stammered. "And part of me wants to just shut up right now and kiss you and never stop."
She leaned forward... then stopped. "...But?"
"...But," sighed Adrien, through gritted teeth. "I... need to know that it's right. For both of us. Before it happens."
"Okay," Ladybug agreed. "We need to talk about this first. I get that... this is big. How do you want to start this?"
"Well..."
Adrien took a moment to think about it.
"Let's start this way. Ladybug... I know what kind of person you are. You're absolutely wonderful. Not just on the outside, though you are beautiful; there are so many things about the inner you that I admire. Your heart, your caring, your compassion... it's impossible not to be crazy about you. And I, uh... know more about that than most people do."
"You have me melting, saying that about me," cooed Ladybug. "But what do you mean by that last part?"
"Um..." Adrien hesitated. "Just this, I guess. That you and I... like this... haven't spent a lot of time together. I love what I do know about you... but I guess I could ask, how much of the real me do you know? I mean... are we just crushing on each other, or is it something deeper than that?"
Ladybug considered that question.
"You're right," she began. "I mean, even if this was just a mutual surface crush... I think I could live with that," she giggled. "And that it could still become something more. But I'll confess something to you, Adrien."
"There's a girl underneath this mask. Obviously," she told him. "And that girl... is someone who knows you. Who spends time with you, who's seen you doing everyday things, who's gotten to know you better. I've held back telling you that because... well... it's a pretty big clue to who I really am, right? But I think it's important for you to know that right now. It's not just my Ladybug side that's into you, Adrien... I am into you. In every way possible."
"W-wow," gasped Adrien. "I... I need to think about that for a minute."
"Take your time," she smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, unless you want me to."
"So... if I saw you on the street, your normal self... you're someone that I would recognize?" he asked. "You don't have to say who just yet."
"You would. You definitely would," Ladybug replied. "It might surprise you, more than a little bit, that I'm her. But you'd know me."
"Is there someone that you'd want me to be?" she added, looking quite curious.
Adrien paused.
"Can I hold off on answering that?" he asked.
"Why?"
"Because I'm being honest... you've had my heart for a long time now, without knowing it," Adrien explained. "But there... there's someone else that I've fallen for, too. Someone whom I shouldn't even bring up right now, because she's told me that she doesn't think of me that way..."
Ladybug looked uncertain for a moment. "She... she has?" she wondered.
"But I can't just turn those feelings off, like flipping a light switch," Adrien admitted. "I've never told her to her face, in plain words, how I feel. I haven't worked up to that point yet. I'm kind of afraid to."
"Who would say no to you?"
"She has. Twice, so far. Kind of," said Adrien. "Or, rather... I've asked her if she had or could have feelings for me, and she's laughed it off. 'Not even possible.'"
"...I think I'm dreaming now," mumbled Ladybug, with a shocked expression.
"What?"
"Keep talking! Please!" she insisted. "Tell me about this."
"If it's not what she wants... if I'M not what she wants... I don't want to keep pushing myself at her. Even if those feelings are strong. I've learned that much," Adrien continued. "Tell me... when Chat Noir kept insisting that you two were the perfect couple, how did you feel?"
At his question, Ladybug leaned back slightly, searching for an equally honest answer.
"Well... it's a little complicated. Though the same principle applies here... I didn't owe Chat my romantic love and kisses... and you don't owe me yours, if your heart lies somewhere else. Though If you want to give them to me, I'll happily accept them," she smiled. "You don't even have to ask."
"Don't think that it's not tempting," breathed Adrien. "Very, very, very tempting. I haven't said 'No' yet."
"I never told Chat 'No' because I didn't like him. Or because he wasn't handsome, or charming, or fun to be with... or kissable, for that matter. Though if you ever tell him that I said that, I'll choke you," Ladybug declared. "That would start up so many things... A big reason that I kept saying 'No' to Chat was that there was someone else. From the time that I became Ladybug, I had my heart set on one person..."
Shyly, she reached across for his hand. "And he's right here," she cooed.
An unsteady Adrien felt like he was going to faint, processing that. "If I had known that...!" he gasped.
"See? Rejection isn't so simple, sometimes," Ladybug noted. "And your other girl... maybe she had some other reason for turning you down? I've... I've been in a situation like that myself, a couple of times... and I was so nervous, I wasn't in control of what I was saying. I wanted to kiss him but the opposite came out of my mouth. I was kicking myself afterwards."
"It's possible, I suppose," mused Adrien.
"Can I ask you a question?" ventured Ladybug. "The other girl you've fallen for... is she someone I might know?"
"You know her," Adrien replied. "You even gave her a Miraculous once."
Ladybug's eyes went huge.
"Was it... was it the Mouse?" she gasped.
"It was the Mouse-"
Before he could blink, Adrien was flat on his back, Ladybug's lips against his.
It was about a minute before Adrien could speak again.
"Th-that was an interesting reaction," he whispered... then reacted with shock. "Are you all right, Ladybug?" he gasped, noting the tears in her eyes.
"I am," she replied, in a warm whisper of her own. "I've never been happier."
"You are?" he said, in a tone of wonder.
"Yeah. And there's something that I need to show you. Right now. Spots off!"
Suddenly, Adrien felt like his eyes had become kaleidoscopes. He was dizzy, he was overwhelmed with joy, he was unsure that he was still participating in reality...
"I don't... I don't believe it..." he gasped, when his paramour allowed it.
"Believe it. I'm here!"
"HOW are you here?"
Marinette leaned back and gave him a huge grin. "Less talk. More kiss," she declared, before pouncing once more.
He obeyed.
Once the initial rush had worn down, the teens flopped down onto Adrien's mattress, face-to-face, grinning their heads off.
"This is beyond anything I could have imagined," Adrien breathed.
"I solved your little which-girl-am-I-in-love-with problem in ten seconds, huh?" giggled Marinette.
"Uh-huh! All you had to do was say two little words and take your spots off."
"Three other little words are even better." Marinette's eyes shone as she declared, "I love you, Adrien."
"I love you, too."
She sat up with a nervous smile. "So..." she ventured, "we're here, all alone in your room, and we finally know how much that we love each other. Is there... anything else besides my spots that I should take off?"
Adrien weighed his response very, very carefully...
...until a tiny voice declared, "Annnnd I think we'll wrap it up right about there."
Adrien blinked - twice, three times - as his senses returned to him. Marinette was no longer next to him... nor was he entirely sure that she'd been there in the first place.
"...Plagg?" he asked, in a low voice. "Was that you?"
"No, it wasn't," said someone else. "He probably would've let that continue for a while longer... but I think we saw what we needed to see. You can dream that on your own time."
If that's not Plagg...
In full panic, Adrien leaped out of his bed, grabbing for his phone and trying to remember the motion shortcut to turn on its flashlight feature. "Who's there?" he hissed.
"Hey! Do you want to bring the grown-ups running in here?" a different, but equally high-pitched voice chided Adrien. "I mean, really."
The light came on, half-blinding Adrien in the process, and he waved it around in front of him. When his vision cleared, two tiny presences were hovering in front of him.
Orange... and pink?
"Greetings. I'm Trixx," the orange one smiled, "and this is Daizzi."
"Nice to meet you!" Daizzi giggled.
The names took a moment to register with Adrien. "You're... Kwamis, right? Rena Rouge's and Pigella's," he reasoned.
Both nodded.
"What are you doing here? Does Ladybug need my help? Has something happened to her?" Adrien worried.
"No, nothing like that," Trixx assured him. "I promise you, everything is fine."
"Then...?"
"Someone we all know has been very stressed recently. The Kwamis got together and decided that if we could do something to help her... we would," Daizzi explained. "And since we can kind of bend reality around our fingers in different ways..."
"...We decided to conduct a little experiment. That, and we were getting exhausted watching the secret-identity dance going on," laughed Trixx. "Daizzi used powers of Jubilation to capture your dearest wish, your most fervent desire..."
"And Trixx used powers of Illusion to manifest it in your sleeping mind," continued Daizzi.
"If you're awake, the illusion pops as soon as you touch it," Trixx explained. "But if your brain is sleeping, I can have all kinds of fun with it. It seemed pretty real, huh?"
"I, um... don't know if I've ever had a dream that intense before," Adrien confirmed. "That was all just a dream?"
"Uh-huh! But one that your own mind controlled. We didn't put any ideas into your head or tell what you wanted to imagine; we let your subconscious mind play director," Trixx clarified, "and let your wish play out."
"And what a wish it was!" exclaimed Daizzi.
"Um..."
"Nothing to be ashamed about," Daizzi told him, tiny hands waving in protest. "You're young, you're in love... that was kind of natural, how your dream evolved."
"Interesting choice you made there, though," Trixx added, an eyebrow raised. "You think that she's Ladybug?"
"Well, I..." stammered Adrien, a bit confused. "Well, no, I don't. She can't be. I've seen her standing right next to Ladybug, so I don't understand that part of my dream..."
Trixx stifled a huge chuckle at that, preferring to let his grin do the talking.
"But the rest of that... loving Ladybug, being in love with Marinette, wanting to protect her feelings over anything else... so much that you'd turn down rolling around with Ladybug, making Ladybug your girlfriend, if your being with Marinette was possible," Daizzi smiled. "That came from your heart, huh?"
"I really think it did," marveled Adrien. "I don't know if I've ever... manifested it quite like that before..."
"Ah, you did fine," Trixx declared. "In fact, you were about to do really fine until we pulled down the curtain and let you wake up."
"Huh."
Adrien's smile faded a little bit as he returned to sitting on the edge of his bed.
"What's wrong?" asked Daizzi. "You look a little down, for someone who just had such a fun experience."
"That's just it, Daizzi," Adrien explained. "It was a fun experience. But it was all just a dream... and not one that's going to come true."
"You seem sure about that," wondered Trixx. "Why is that?"
"Some of what was in that is very true. I really have fallen for Marinette, for instance. More than I have for Ladybug... and that's saying quite a bit," he said. "I know enough about Ladybug to cherish her, to adore her, to always want to protect her. But Marinette... she's all of that, and maybe even a little more. Someone to love. Someone to build a life together with, someday."
"Wooooow," marveled Daizzi. "For someone so young... that's quite an emotion to feel."
"You've met her, I take it?" asked Adrien. "If you have, am I wrong?"
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Trixx interjected. "She's quite a person... and you two seem made for each other."
"But we're not, are we?" Adrien sighed. "I stood some chance with her once, I think... or at least I have reason to believe that... but she's past that now. The part about how Marinette doesn't see me like that? That was all true. She's told me that twice, straight from her own lips."
"I... will be back shortly," grinned Trixx. "Don't go anywhere."
With that, the Fox Kwami zipped away, out the window and into the distance at high speed.
"Where's he going?" wondered Adrien.
"Oh... he's delivering a message," Daizzi smiled. "About what he saw here tonight... and how you reacted. Because there's something that you don't know, Adrien."
"Hmmm?"
"That Trixx and I did this same combination of powers for Marinette Dupain-Cheng... about an hour ago. And wouldn't you like to know what we saw in her mind?"
Adrien began to reply, then stopped, lost in thought.
"I... think that I would, yes," he admitted.
Daizzi whispered in his ear... and Adrien very nearly fell over.
"You might be about to find out the rest of it, very soon," Daizzi giggled. "Have a good night! And say hi to Plagg for us."
"Where is Plagg tonight, anyway?" wondered Adrien.
"Sleeping. Of course," said Daizzi, on the way to the door. "We told him we'd watch over you tonight, and give him the night off. Good luck!"
A few minutes later... Adrien's phone rang.
Who is calling me at one-thirty in the morn... OH!
The ringtone and its associated caller were very familiar to him.
"H-hi," he answered.
A beautiful face stared at him through his phone screen... smiling, but visibly shaken as well.
"Hi th-there, Adrien," Marinette replied. "I'm sorry if I woke you..."
"No, I was... most definitely awake."
"Good. Because I have... well... a strange question for you. One that I need you to answer... and that can't wait until morning."
"Go ahead," Adrien encouraged her. "Please."
"Did... something unusual happen to you tonight?" she asked, hesitantly. "Because, um... how can I say this... a couple of friends of mine decided to go behind my back and meddle with things that maybe they shouldn't have, and if I'm right, they might have messed with you, too..."
"Marinette... something unusual didn't happen to me tonight," Adrien declared.
"Ah," she replied. "Which is odd... given what they just told... um... okay. I'm sorry that I bothered you..."
"Something incredibly wonderful happened to me tonight."
Marinette paused... her face difficult for him to read, a mixture of emotions in it. "It... did?" she wondered.
"Those friends that you mentioned," Adrien smiled. "Little floating ones, I'll wager. Have any of them come back to you tonight? Delivering a message?"
"N-no," she replied. "Not... wait! Um... actually? One just did! Hold on..."
Adrien watched as Marinette looked away from the camera, as if something was speaking to her that he couldn't see over the phone...
Kwamis can't be recorded or photographed, Adrien remembered...
...and her face transformed before his eyes.
Wonder, disbelief, hope, shock, all fighting for the foreground at once...
"This... this is all still part of my dream, right?" she murmured, clearly not directed at Adrien. "This is some kind of test, or something. How I would react... if..."
She stared hard at what was floating next to her... and then turned back to Adrien, vulnerability in her gaze, but something more, something deeper as well.
"I think that we are going to be dead on our feet at school tomorrow," said Adrien, "...because I don't want to go to sleep any time soon. Do you? All of a sudden, we have so much to talk about."
Marinette drew strength from the smile on Adrien's face...
"Y-yeah," she smiled back, barely breathing. "I really think we do."