Morrigan felt the warmth from the fireplace dancing on the bare parts of her skin.
Her nose tingled slightly, and she was sure it and her cheeks would have turned a bashful red from the heat.
She was waiting for Aedan.
Waiting for him to come back to his room with stress and worry on his mind. And Morrigan was ready to ease it.
She hoped that he would take her words well.
That talk of old magic, children, and Old Gods would not turn him from her.
She felt her stomach twist.
Morrigan had read the words in her mother's true grimoire thoroughly. She had already ingested the right concoction of herbs and had memorised the spell.
All she needed now was Aedan.
She could hear his heavy footsteps coming down the hall towards his room. They were slow. They were tired.
Her stomach twisted again. She turned to face the door as it creaked open.
Then he was there in front of her.
Beautiful Aedan. The bags were deep under his eyes. Bruises and scars were covering his tan skin.
Aedan smiled at her, "My love," he said warmly.
She walked to him, taking his hands in hers, and kissed him deeply.
"I did not come here to speak of sentimental things. I came here to speak with you." Morrigan said it plainly, trying to keep emotion from her voice.
Aedan went to speak, but Morrigan hushed him and continued, "I have a plan, you see. A way out. The loop in your hole,"
"I know what happens when the archdemon dies. I know a Grey Warden must be sacrificed, and I know that you will pick yourself for that sacrifice," Morrigan felt a lump in her throat as he nodded at her statement.
"I have come to tell you this does not need to be." Aedan's expression was puzzled as Morrigan said these words. She noted he did not seem perturbed by her as of yet.
"What do you mean, Morrigan?" Aedan asked.
"I offer a way out. A way out for all the Grey Wardens. You, Alistair, everyone. There need be no sacrifice." Morrigan felt excited as she said this. The reality of it all finally hit her.
"And how do we do that?" Aedan guided her to sit with him in front of the fireplace; he kicked off his boots as she spoke.
"A ritual... performed on the eve of battle in the dark of night," Morrigan held her breath as he looked intently at her.
"And what kind of ritual is this?"
"It is old magic, from a time before the circle of magi was created," she swallowed the lump in her throat, "Some would call it blood magic, but I think that means little to one like you."
Aedan was nodding, "And where exactly did you get this ritual?"
"From Flemeth, of course," She looked down at her hands, "Truthfully, I have known about it for some time."
"You knew about the sacrifice before Riordan told me?" She could hear the frustration in his voice now.
"I... did. Would you have believed me if I told you? I have my doubts." She wanted to say more, that he would have hated her if she had told him this sooner, but instead, Morrigan bit her tongue.
Aedan sighed deeply, and she saw him slightly shake his head, "Well, tell me more now,"
Morrigan moved to the bed, and her stomach flipped yet again.
Aedan stood up, watching her.
"What I propose is this: lay with me. Here, tonight. And from our joining, a child will be conceived," She continued so as not to let Aedan interrupt. She could see the sternness in his eyes.
"The child will bear the taint, and when the archdemon is slain, its essence will seek the child like a beacon. At this early stage, the child can absorb the essence and not perish. The archdemon is still destroyed, with no Grey Warden dying in the process."
"Does the child become a... darkspawn?" Aedan's face was twisted in fear and disgust.
"Not at all. It will become something different: a child born with the soul of an Old God," Morrigan took a deep breath as she looked into her lover's eyes. "After this is done, you must allow me to walk away... and you do not follow. Ever. The child will be mine to raise as I wish." The lump was back in Morrigan's throat.
"How do you even know this will work, Morrigan?" Aedan dropped to his knees. His head fell into Morrigan's lap, his hands gripping desperately onto her sides.
"It is what my mother intended when she sent me with you. She intended for all of this. She was the one who told me of what I was meant to do," Morrigan's fingers ran through Aedan's dark locks as she spoke, "This does not surprise you, does it? Did you not wonder why Flemeth saved your life, why she aided you?" Morrigan lifted Aedan's face to look at her, "This is why. What's important is I am offering this to you now. I can save your life, my love."
Aedan's eyes were filled with pain as she spoke to him. "Will I ever get to see our child?" He choked.
Morrigan felt as though a dagger had pierced her heart. "No, you never will. This is all I ask in return for freeing you from the burdens the Grey Wardens have placed upon you."
Aedan pushed away from her and off the floor. He brought a hand to his forehead, leaning fiercely into it as he paced the room. She could hear how deep and short and angry his breaths were now.
Neither spoke for a moment. Morrigan just watched Aedan think and pace.
"So what?!" Aedan spat, "This ritual is why you have been so friendly to me? Why you have made me fall in love with you?!"
Morrigan winced, "Caring for you as I have come to... that was not a part of the plan," She felt tears fill her eyes, "I cannot let what I feel interfere with what I must do, Aedan. This is important to me. The fact that it will save your life makes me all the more determined to see it done."
Aedan was back on his knees with his head in her lap. She could feel his hot tears soaking into the fabric of her skirt.
This was more painful than she had hoped for; she knew she was foolish to let love get in the way. She should have listened to her instincts long ago.
But this man, this beautiful man, had made her soft.
'Please, Aedan, do not... cloud the issue. Please accept that our sexual feelings for one another will make what we must do that much easier."
She could see the silent sobs shake his body. She bit her lip sharply, not to let her own tears fall.
"Will we ever see each other again?" Aedan asked finally.
"After the Archdemon has been slain? No. No, you will never see me again." She felt the imaginary blade twist deep into her heart now.
Time passed as Morrigan continued to run her fingers through Aedan's hair, waiting on his response.
She thought back to their time together over the many months.
Back to the first time she saw him in The Wilds.
She felt more grown now, and at times she hated herself for leaving that place. She hated the fact her sharp edges had somewhat rounded out.
She hated that she cared for this man and for the group she had journeyed with far and wide.
She hated that she had to leave. This journey was at its finish point, and she would never feel her lover's touch again after this.
She feared what was next for her. Was she even capable of making it without Aedan or her mother, or anyone?
Morrigan shook the thoughts from her mind. She was here now; she could save Aedan, she could save her friends, and right now, t'was the only thing that mattered.
"I agree," Aedan mumbled, his voice smothered quiet by Morrigan's lap. "I'll do it." He stood up, taking Morrigan's hands in his and pulling her up with him.
"A wise decision," Morrigan felt her heart skip a beat, "Come, my love. Put the thoughts of the ritual aside, and let us make this last night together one to remember."
She kissed him fiercely, tasting the tears that had caught on his lips.
OoOoOoO
The smell of burnt flesh thickened the air as ash fell like rain around them.
Morrigan knew they were nearing the end now.
Her palms tingled with spent magic, and her companions wiped blood and ichor from their blades as they awaited Aedan's commands.
Leliana was with the dwarf Natia, her delicate fingers adjusting Natia's armour straps. Zevran was flirting mercilessly with the new elven woman Aedan had saved from some rich fool's dungeon somewhere in Denerim.
Oghren was helping Shale fit new crystals into their back while Wynne was healing injured soldiers. Sten was looking sternly across the war-ravaged city. Hohaku followed on Aedan's heel as Morrigan's love spoke strategy with Riordan.
And then she saw Alistair, standing alone next to a pile of debris with a stern sadness painted on his face.
Morrigan thought of Solona at that moment. How she wished that girl were here. How she wished she could bump shoulders with her and squeeze her hand.
She thought Alistair must miss her terribly.
Morrigan sighed as she walked towards the Templar.
"I have not seen a frown so deep on your face for quite a while, Alistair. Are you not happy our Aedan has chosen you to be king?"
Alistair looked up at her but shook his head in annoyance at Morrigan before turning away.
"Come now, Alistair, I only jest." Morrigan chuckled slightly.
"What do you want, Morrigan?" Alistair replied bitterly.
"I want to... say goodbye."
Alistair turned to face her now. "Goodbye? But you... And Aedan... " He babbled, gesturing between herself and her lover across the way.
"Yes, yes. But this time has come to an end, and I will be moving on alone," Morrigan feigned a coolness, but she felt the stab to her heart once more. "I also wish to... apologise to you." the word struggled to make it past her teeth.
Alistair's eyes widened.
"I have been unkind to you at times. However, I believe many times to be justified. Others were not," She sighed deeply, "Your grief, for instance, and your loss. T'was not my place to tease."
Alistair stood there in stunned disbelief for a moment before a huge smile graced his face, and then his laugh, a big, booming laugh.
"Oh... Morrigan... Are you ill? Do I need to call Wynne over here?" He spoke through fits of laughter.
"Now now, fool, you're making a scene." Morrigan hissed.
Alistair wiped tears from his eyes.
"Don't let the darkspawn get you sentimental, Morrigan," He shook his head, a slight smirk frozen on his lips. "Seriously though, I appreciate it. I don't know where this has come from but thank you, I mean it."
Alistair brought his hand up, hesitating before he squeezed Morrigan tightly and warmly above her elbow.
Morrigan looked at his hand there. So strange, she thought, months ago, she would have burnt it off.
"I hope you have a good life, fool," Morrigan smiled at him.
"And you, sneaky witch thief." He smiled back.
They both looked in the direction of Aedan as they heard him call them over.
He was waving his hands to get their attention and gesturing for them to come.
All their companions gathered near him. None speaking now and with a look of sadness in their eyes.
Morrigan and Alistair crossed the courtyard and joined them.
"My friends, this is it. We found the archdemon, and it is time for the final push." Aedan's voice encaptured the sea of soldiers as he spoke.
"We Grey Wardens thank all of you for this fight today. We know some of you will not make it, but your sacrifice is worth more than gold," Morrigan felt goosebumps across her skin as Aedan's voice boomed through the crowds.
"Gone are the days of fear and rot. Gone are the days of death and decay. We end this here, tonight!"
Cheers and noises of clanging metal echoed from the walls as soldiers from all corners of Fereldan readied themselves.
Aedan dragged his eyes across the row of their companions. Morrigan saw the sorrow and uncertainty in his eyes.
"So this is it, Alistair and Morrigan, you shall come with me in this final push. The rest of you, stay here, don't let the darkspawn past," His voice was firm, but Morrigan could feel his doubt. "Let us say our farewells here and now, lest we don't all make it."
One by one, he spoke to them. Tears, hugs and thanks were exchanged between this curious group and their extraordinary leader.
Morrigan fiddled with the ring on her finger as she awaited Aedan's approach. Leliana noticed Morrigan's unease and took her restless hand.
"Worry not, dear Morrigan, Aedan will survive this. We can all survive this. Your future with Aedan is bright. I promise." The bard smiled sweetly at Morrigan.
She was crying, but Morrigan felt Leliana truly believed her own words, so she squeezed the bard's fingers.
"I knew nothing of friendship before we met, and I will always consider you such," Morrigan freely spoke as she felt the tears forming in her eyes. "Live well, my friend. Live gloriously."
She pulled Leliana in for a hug. Morrigan herself knew not where this action had come from, and it seemed to startle Leliana too, who was initially stiff in their embrace.
But Leliana quickly melted into Morrigan's arms and squeezed her tightly back.
"Thank you, Morrigan, you have become a true friend and I... I will be extremely cross with you if you... don't return. Be careful out there. I will see you soon." Leliana said her words between sobs before pulling away for her turn to speak with Aedan.
Morrigan felt it was not right to tell Leliana the truth. They may never meet again, and she wanted the girl to see the good in her for just a while longer.
"So, we head into the city together. As it should be." Morrigan said as Aedan finally approached her; the pain was apparent in his eyes.
Morrigan felt her heart shatter as she continued, "Once this is done, no matter how it turns out, I will be gone. You are aware of this, yes?"
Aedan smiled sadly as he took Morrigan's hands in his. "I was hoping you would change your mind on that. That we could raise our child together?"
His words knocked the wind out of her. She fought every inch of herself that screamed yes.
She loved this man with every single part of her body. She would go anywhere with him.
But alas, she could not. She had to walk away.
"It... is tempting. You don't know how much. But, no. That would not be wise." She felt a hot tear roll down her cheek.
She bit her lip and sighed deeply.
"Allow me to say one thing before we go," She pulled herself into Aedan's arms and pressed her face against his cool breastplate. T'would be easier to say if she was not looking into his pained, beautiful eyes.
"I was foolish. This could have been so much easier. I should have known better! Yet I... I cannot regret what was between us."
Morrigan looked up, bringing her hand to her lover's face, "I will always remember you, my love."
Aedan pulled her close and kissed her hard. She could feel his love, his pain and his fear. She was sure he would feel hers too.
They broke away, and he pressed his forehead into her's, "I will find you, Morrigan. I swear it."
"I hope you do," She whispered back. "Now, let us finally see this done. The archdemon awaits."
OoOoOoO
Morrigan's ears rang, her vision blurred, and the stone beneath her feet shook violently.
Through the ash, the rubble and the bodies, she could see Aedan lay unmoving.
His blade stuck from the archdemon's head like a thorn, the beast finally slain.
But why wasn't he moving? Morrigan felt her heart shatter.
Had the ritual not worked?
She started running, her feet dragging her towards Aedan's motionless form, seemingly on their own.
She fell to her knees beside him, her hands moving across him, checking for life.
She was shaking, and she couldn't hear; she could barely see.
Blood poured from his head. Burns littered his arms. His armour was scorched but luckily protected him from the worst of the flames.
Morrigan moved a shaky finger under his nose to check for breath.
A wave of relief hit her as she felt it. The cool breath of life coming from Aedan.
She collapsed onto him, sobs wracking her body as she squeezed him tightly.
"I love you," She whispered to him over and over again.
Morrigan felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned sharply to see Alistair standing over them, he was breathing heavily and was also looking worse for wear, but he was there, alive.
The ritual worked.
"He's alive." She said to Alistair, and his eyes widened in surprise.