Author's note

Hello awesome readers, firstly thank you so, so, SO much for taking the time to read this. As this takes place after Season 4 episode Rocketeer, it contains major spoilers for all season 4 episodes up to this point. Please watch Rocketeer first, it is an amazing episode, and I don't want to spoil it for you. Thanks again for reading, you guys are amazing :)

~ Lil Em 04

Cat Noir twisted his obsidian ring on his finger, letting his legs dangle over the side of the Eiffel Tower, his hair being tossed back and forth in the heavy wind. The streetlamps cast an eerie glow over the darkened city, the moon making it look like a ghost town. It certainly felt like that tonight.

Ladybug was late for night patrol. Again. Cat Noir had given up teasing her for it after the first ten times. He suggested they change it to a later time, but she refused, and he knew that even then she would still be late. It didn't used to be like this. Before the whole guardian thing, she would always be the early one. Before the guardian.

He was happy for her, guardian was a big deal, and if she was happy then he would support her in that. But lately, the whole guardian thing was getting less of a title and more of a full-time job. And on top of that, it was affecting him in ways she had promised it wouldn't. He didn't ask when she neglected to mention her new suit upgrade. He let it slide when an elder guardian had come and demanded his miraculous. He was waiting patiently for her to explain the new magical charms. It was the Style Queen incident from the other week that really hurt.

He knew that things were different between them than the other heroes because of secret identities, but she could have called, he could have told her where he was and used the horse miraculous to teleport him to the battle. He didn't understand why she hadn't, and he had barely seen her since then. She didn't turn up to the patrol that night, or the night after for that matter. It wasn't the same patrolling by himself.

And then Sentibubbler happened. The one that really got his blood boiling. Ladybug had called Rena before him, explained the plan to Rena before him, made a plan for her best superhero bud Rena, and not him. Of course, he was jealous of the fox themed superhero, she was new, only meant to be temporary, but now it was almost like she was replacing him. What happened to the Ladybug and Cat Noir Yin and Yang dynamic? He knew that Ladybug was the guardian, so she had a lot more on her plate, by why did that involve bringing in an entire new superhero, Cat Noir knew that they could manage anything together, without the extra help.

"It's us against the world M'lady," He had once said, remembering the way determination flooded back into her face. He hadn't seen that look in her eyes since then, hell, he had barely seen her since then.

But worst of all was what he heard earlier that week from Nino. His best friend was a hero, Carapace. That wasn't the problem, that excited him, he was fighting side by side with his best bud, it was what followed that felt like a dagger to the heart. Because Alya was Rena Rouge. And they had revealed their identities to each other. Because Ladybug let them. She had willingly let them break the rule that she had been drilling into Cat Noir since day one. He had no problems with Alya at all, she was a nice girl, she had good morals and she was his best friend's girlfriend, so he had to get along with her. But she ran the Ladyblog. How could someone who was actively trying to discover Ladybug's identity be more trustworthy than him? He didn't understand. Cat Noir couldn't help but clench his fists. He was so fed up with always being left in the dark, why could he never be good enough? He tried harder than any of the other heroes, he knew Ladybug better, so why was he being treated like a sidekick when they were partners?

He pounded his fist into the platform next to him, jumping when a loud thud let out. He hadn't punched it that hard, had he? Turning his head around, he flinched again as he saw Ladybug's figure, standing in the centre of the platform.

"Look who decided to show." He muttered, regretting it immediately. Ladybug frowned, walking over to him, refusing to sit down.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her face confused. Cat Noir tilted his head to the side. What was that supposed to mean?

"Waiting for you for patrol, you're half an hour late." He remarked, causing her to gasp loudly.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you!" She exclaimed. "I was meant to tell you last patrol, but I was so busy that I couldn't come. You haven't been waiting out here for too long, have you?"

"What are you talking about?" He questioned, narrowing his eyes. Ladybug let out a sigh.

"I had this idea to split up patrols between us, so I patrol with you for the first half of the week, and with Rena Rouge for the second half of the week. I've already done patrol with her tonight."

"What the hell Ladybug?" He exclaimed, unable to help himself. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, patrols were his favourite part of any day, and now she was cutting that out to spend more time with Rena?

"Hey, I'm really sorry, I know you love patrols, but I'm working with her on some guardian stuff and could use the extra time. It's nothing against you, I promise." She explained gently, taking a few steps towards him. Cat Noir leapt to his feet, moving away from his partner, his hands starting to shake as his gulped down a hurl of worlds that threatened to erupt.

"Why can't I help you with guardian stuff, I'm good at handling responsibility." He defended, his chest paining. Ladybug offered him a weak smile.

"You know I can't tell you why Kitty." Her answer was like a wrecking ball to any self-control Cat Noir had left, and everything started to boil over.

"I know about her and Carapace." He blurted out, her face falling. "That they know each other's identities, that you let them." Ladybug froze for a few seconds, her confident demeanour falling momentarily. But then it was back as fast as it had gone.

"I had to do it, and it's different for them." Ladybug replied firmly. Cat Noir let out a groan, raking his hands through his hair.

"Why? Why is it different for them but not us, what have I done to you that is so horrible, why can't you trust me like you trust Alya?" Saying her name certainly got a reaction out of Ladybug. Her jaw fell and she stumbled back a few steps, staring at Cat Noir in horror.

"I don't understand, I never told you anything, how do you know—"

"That's my point, you never tell me anything, and its so hurtful, so I want answers now. Why can't you trust me?" He yelled, locking eyes with her desperately. Ladybug hesitated, opening her mouth and closing it a few times, hugging herself with her arms.

"Something bad will happen if I tell you my identity." She answered. "And I don't want that to ever happen again."

"And what might that be?"

"I- I can't tell you." She said softly. "I'm sorry." Cat Noir wanted to cataclysm the Eiffel tower, or even better the whole world. Instead, he let out a loud groan, digging his claws into the palms of his hands. He couldn't take this anymore, all the rejection, the exclusion, the neglection, this partnered with everything happening at home was too much to balance.

"It's New York, isn't it. That's what this whole thing is about, it's because I was too scared to tell you the truth, so I left Paris unattended."

"That's not it, Kitty." She was starting to cry now, frantically wiping tears off her mask. But Cat Noir could barely breath anymore, gasping desperately for air as he felt his windpipe tighten.

"I can't keep going like this. With all the secrets between us, you deserve a partner you can trust." He croaked, his stomach twisting in a knot. "You and Rena would be a much better pair."

"This isn't about Rena. I wish I could, I wish I could tell you, but I can't. There is too much riding on it remaining a secret." She said, her voice muffled. Cat Noir stared up at the ceiling for a few seconds, the locked eyes with her once again, shaking his head.

"I'm done."

"W-what?"

"I'm done. If you can't trust me with things, I don't want to be Cat Noir anymore." He declared, pressing his fingers around the ring. Ladybug let out a small yelp, moving towards him, but he slid the jewellery off. Instantly as flash of green blinded the pair, as Adrien felt his transformation fading. Ladybug closed her eyes immediately, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Kid don't do this." Pleaded Plagg, his green eyes staring fearfully into Adrien's. The boy gulped, grabbing Plagg and pulling him into a tight hug. "D-don't leave me kid."

"I renounce you." Adrien whispered, taking all his willpower to keep his voice steady.

"Cat Noir, stop!" Ladybug cried, clamping her hands over her eyes as Plagg vanished. Adrien bit his lip hard, bending down to place the ring on the ground. As a small sob escaped his mouth, he bolted in the other direction, launching himself in the nearby elevator. Ladybug still had her eyes closed.

Even after all this time, secrets always prevailed.

"I love you M'lady." He uttered, his voice cracking as the elevator doors slid shut, the container taking him to the bottom of the tower. Adrien stumbled back, leaning all of his weight on the back wall of the lift, his chest heaving, his entire body trembling violently. He let out a loud gasp, trying to bring breath into his twisted windpipe. Falling to his knees, he rammed his fist into his thigh, blinking frantically as tears started obstructing his vision. Adrien wiped his eyes harshly as the elevator jolted to a stop, opening at the bottom of the tower, the streetlights illuminating the darkened streets. Wiping his nose on his sleeve, he began running, faster than ever before, hiccupping every so often as his mind struggled to think straight. Minutes later he stumbled to his destination, panting as he flung his hand at the doorbell. Adrien quickly wiped his face with his hands, flashing a model smile as the door creaked open, Nino's figure coming into view. The half-asleep DJ took a few seconds to respond before his eyes widened.

"Dude, it's like ten o'clock, you good?" He asked, staring Adrien down. "Wait, you don't look ok dude—"

"Can I stay here the night?" Adrien asked quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. Nino nodded, letting him in and guiding him to the familiar bedroom.

"Your old man?" Nino guessed, clearing the scattered school supplies off the bed. Adrien shook his head, forcing his voice to remain stable.

"You know that magical charm Ladybug gave you?" Adrien questioned, slowly sitting on the edge of the bed. Nino froze.

"How do you know about that dude?" He replied in awe, moving to sit next to his friend.

"That's not important, can I borrow it?" His voice gave way, forcing him to inhale sharply. Nino stared him in the eye for a few seconds. Then, he wrapped his arms around his friend, pulling him in for a tight hug. Adrien remained still for a moment, before accepting the gesture, slamming his head into Nino's shoulder as his body shook like an earthquake. As the tears began to brew, Nino patted his back comfortingly. "Hey, its ok dude, I'm here." He said softly. "You want to tell me what's going on?" Adrien sniffed, taking a few moments to compose himself. He let out a long breath.

"I, uh, think I got m-my heartbroken." Adrien stuttered, letting out a shaky exhale. Nino raised his eyebrows, his mouth falling slightly open. Adrien gulped. "I don't really, w-want to talk about—"

"Say no more, I have ice cream in the fridge and we're going to watch Moana together." Nino instructed, a warm smile forming on his face. Adrien let out a weak laugh.

"Moana?"

"It's a non-romantic Disney movie with an underrated soundtrack. You don't get a say in this. Now sit tight, I'll be back, do you want hot chocolate too?" Adrien nodded as Nino slipped out of the room. "Oh, one more thing." Said Nino, sticking his head back through the door. He flung something at Adrien, who somehow managed to catch it. With that Nino was gone. Adrien opened his palm, a sky-blue crystal-like charm staring back at him. He closed his eyes, clutching it to his heart for a few seconds. It was over. No Plagg. No Cat Noir. No feelings for a girl who never returned them.

Maybe it was a good thing.

Nino came back, his arms full of snack, mugs, and a tub of ice cream. They sat on the bed, smothered in blankets as the screen flashed the opening scenes of the familiar movie.

"Thanks bro." said Adrien softly, the presence of his friend making him feel slightly more at ease. Nino shot his friend a smile.

"Always dude."

Thanks for reading, I love you guys!