Dedicated to my amazing boyfriend who helps me through my own anxieties.

"Perhaps it would be better to be a bird. They have true freedom." He let out a sigh and looked up at the sky, watching the pigeons and magpies fly from building to building. He found a bench overlooking the still waters of the Seine, isolated from the usual crowds of tourists that typically populated Paris. He pulled out his phone, a series of notifications rapidly being delivered.

'You weren't at fencing practice today.'

'Your father is going to be disappointed, Adrien.'

'Your bodyguard notified me he cannot find you. Where are you?'

'You have Chinese in fifteen minutes and you're expected to attend.'

He took his phone and switched it off, silencing the barrage of future notifications. Not today. He couldn't today. He needed a day off from being Adrien… but he had no desire to transform into Chat Noir. The black cat persona was slowly becoming another prison… and he was sitting alone in solitary confinement.

Alya and Nino knew each other's identities? Why didn't his lady trust him with that? Why was he forced to be alone? Why did he have to feel the crushing weight of saving the world on his own? It was becoming too much… he just needed silence.

"Adrien?" There was a soft calling from his side. He glanced up and saw a pair of ballet flats and pink jeans. He moved over to the side slightly, making room for his classmate to sit down on the bench beside him. Out of the corner of his eye he watched her take her place next to him.

"Adrien, are you okay?" the voice asked.

He shook his head. He usually had a response, but even forming the words was difficult, and there was a deep pressure growing in his chest. He clenched his hands and reached into his pocket, subconsciously taking out the good luck charm Marinette had made, rubbing over the beads with his thumb.

"What's that?" the voice asked. He lifted up the charm in response. "You keep it with you?" The voice sounded surprised, but seemed to hold a smile as well.

He simply nodded, continuing to rub the beads.

"You've seemed a bit lost lately. What's wrong?"

He opened his mouth, but words refused to escape. He let out another sigh, looking back over the Seine. There was some rustling coming from beside him, before he heard her voice once again. "Macaron?" He made no movement. "I guess you don't really feel like talking right now, but that doesn't change that there's something wrong… silence won't stop the problem." She paused and sat in silence for a minute before speaking again. "My dad says that having a treat, like a macaron, can be something that warms the soul."

He looked down at the macaron, a green pistachio flavor instead of the usual pink strawberry he had expected Marinette to carry. When he hesitated she spoke again. "I noticed when you visit the bakery you tend to choose pistachio… I thought you might need a pick-me-up today, so, you know, I had it ready." She let out a small, nervous laugh.

Adrien lifted the macaron to his mouth and felt the textures of the soft cookies and the sweet cream in his mouth. Marinette's father was right. It wasn't a cure, but he was feeling slightly better, which was something.

"Marinette?" Adrien asked quietly, before taking another bite and finishing the macaron. "Do you ever feel alone?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like… like there's no one in the world who really understands you."

He felt her hand over his, and felt the warmth her cold hands gave him. "I do…"

"I feel like… like…" he paused, thinking, "like a toy. I'm a toy in a toy box and I was played with for so long and… well… I'm not wanted anymore." He let out another sigh. "Sorry… I didn't mean to spring this on you."

"I don't mind." She looked out at the Seine with him. "I've felt lonely before, but not like that. More like, I was alone and had the weight of… well… everyone on my shoulders. I felt like there was nothing I could do."

"Do you still feel like that?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, not anymore. Not as often, at least. Sometimes I still get overwhelmed but I'm learning how to manage."

"How did you learn to manage?"

"I learned to depend on my friends, and found someone I trust. If I'm alone then at least I have someone to share my experience with."

His shoulders slumped at this. "What if it's something I can't share? What if I have to be alone?"

She squeezed his hand with hers. "There's nothing you have to truly be alone for, Adrien." She opened her mouth like she was about to say something when her phone started to ring. She gave him an apologetic look, then answered.

"Hello? No, sorry Nadja I- wait… is everything okay? Right. Is she okay at least? I'm glad to hear that. Okay… I'll be there to get her soon. You too." She hung up her phone. "I'm so sorry, Adrien… Nadja Chamak just called. The news anchor who was supposed to be on tonight was in a car accident. She's okay but they need Nadja to fill in, and she needs someone to watch Manon. Will you be okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm feeling a bit better."

She offered him another smile. "Well, if you need me I'm only a phone call away."

She stood up and walked away, disappearing into Paris, becoming just another member of the crowd. "How can I trust anyone when the real me…" he glanced down at his ring. "Marinette might not understand completely, but she's not wrong. I'm not the only superhero in Paris."

He switched his phone back on and quickly sent out a text. His thumb hovered over Nino's contact but he stopped, pressing on the contact below his best friend's.

'Can we talk?'

'Yeah! Everything okay?'

'Sort of… I need help.'

''Kay. Wanna meet up at the bakery?'

The taste of the macaron lingered, and the sweetness had brought him some semblance of comfort but it seemed wrong without Marinette.

'How about Champ de Mars?' The park at the foot of the Eiffel Tower was always crowded with locals and tourists, making it even easier to become invisible.

'Perfect! I can meet you there in 30?'

'Sounds great. Thanks, Alya.'

He slipped his phone back into his pocket, turning it off to ignore the tidal wave of messages that were still being sent by the gorilla, Nathalie, and now even his angry father. He grasped onto the good luck charm tightly. "Give me courage…"

The walk and metro ride went by in a blur. Life seemed to be in grayscale. The colors that made up Paris were slowly seeping and quietly disappearing from around him. Lifeless. Even the bright green grass of the Champ de Mars was dull, lacking it's usual life. Girls posing for pictures in bright floral sundresses were dim, their smiles looked fake. Laughter from boys drinking cans of beer and bottles of wine had none of the joyus musical tone it usually held.

He took a seat in the center of the park, looking up at the Eiffel Tower, outlined by a blanket of gray clouds. How many times had he and Ladybug stood together at the top of that tower, looking at the rest of Paris? Did she do that with Rena Rouge, or Rena Furtive, or Alya, or whoever she was now? Did Ladybug really need him anymore? Did he matter?

"Adrien?" He looked up and saw Alya making her way towards him. She offered him a smile and took a seat next to him. "No offense, but you look awful."

"I feel awful too."

"What's got you down?"

He shrugged feigning ignorance, but eventually let out a breath. "I'm not sure what to do anymore." Alya watched him with bright, inquisitive eyes, staying silent and turning off her reporter self and being what he really needed at the moment, a friend. "I'm losing myself and Marinette told me I should just talk about it but I can't say anything to anyone about this because it's… it's bigger than me, but I can't do this anymore. I'm losing myself. I'm suffocating."

Alya watched him as he had his breakdown, before placing a hand on his shoulder. "Sounds like whatever this is is a lot. You said that whatever this is, is bigger than you… You're only one person Adrien. You've only got two shoulders. You can't carry everything on them yourself."

"What do you do when you feel like this?"

She let out a small laugh, in an attempt to release tension around them. "Well, I turn to someone I trust. I can't be expected to hold everything myself either, you know? It's easier when you're not alone, you know?"

"Not alone?"

"You never have to be alone, Adrien. You've got us. We're your friends. Me, Nino, Marinette, all the guys… we're all here for you. None of us want to see you hurt." She looked around and saw one of the peddlers selling roses in front of the tower. "One, please!" She passed the peddler a coin and gave the rose to Adrien. "You're never alone. Just trust us. We're all here for you. Even if you can't say what it is, we support you."

"Is that how you deal with being a superhero?" he asked quietly.

"What? Superhero…? I don't know what you're-"

Adrien cut her off. Lying was exhausting. "It's okay. I won't tell anyone. Nino told me. Sorry, I probably shouldn't have said anything."

Alya just smiled, and wrapped her arms around him, giving Adrien a comforting hug. "Well then, I'm sure Nino told you because he trusted you. He couldn't do it alone. I can't do it alone. We depend on each other, just like Nino depends on you."

"What if…" he sighed, trying to clear the thoughts in his head. "What if I tell someone my secret and they betray me?"

"Think of it like this," she pointed at the rose. "What do roses represent?"

He didn't hesitate in answering. "Love."

"Right. And where do you feel love?"

"Your heart."

Alya nodded. "Exactly. Do you trust love?"

He nodded, ever the romantic he was.

"Well, if you trust love, then you can trust your heart. Have your heart lead you."

He and Alya continued to sit in comfortable silence under the Eiffel Tower for another hour, until the sky began to darken, the blanket of clouds growing more and more somber with each passing moment.. "I need to be home for dinner. Are you going to be okay, Adrien?"

Follow his heart… Trust love.

He looked up at Alya and offered her his first genuine smile of the day. "I think I'll be fine." He held the rose in his hand. "I just need to trust my heart." He placed his other hand in his pocket and ran over the beads of the charm Marinette had given him. Love and luck.

Adrien took a deep breath and walked to a hidden alley. Maybe he and Chat Noir could orchestrate a prison break, and his superhero persona could once again become freedom. "Plagg, transforme-moi." In an instant he became the black cat of Paris and made his way towards the top of the Eiffel Tower. "A little bit of luck." With any luck she would join him tonight. He looked down at the rose he still held, his heart pounding in his chest.

He didn't know how long he waited, as he stood and watched the people of Paris pass by below, but luck seemed to be on his side. He heard the woosh of the yoyo, and the footsteps of his lady. "Good evening, Chat."

He didn't respond, taking a deep breath.

"Chat? Everything okay?"

"Milady…" He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Was it always this loud?

"Chat?" he felt her hand rest on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I…" he took another breath, "I'm tired of being alone."

He felt her hand tense up from its place on his shoulder. "What do you mean? I'm right here, Chat…"

"No… not completely, but I trust you."

Love. Luck. Love. Luck. He repeated the mantra in his head over and over and his breathing increased. Anxiety began to take hold once again.

"Chat, calm down," she sat down on the tower, leading him to do the same, before pulling him into a hug. "Let's count," she slowly began counting, reaching ten, then counting backwards, over and over, until he could feel his breath settle. "Better?"

He nodded.

"Okay," she offered him a smile. "You're tired of being alone, but you trust me? What's going on, minou?"

"Ladybug," her full name felt weird on his tongue. He had adorned her with a plethora of pet names, but the one that was most important to him, Ladybug, was strange, like he wasn't worthy of saying it. He clutched the rose in his hand and held it out to her. "Plagg, detransforme-moi." Love and trust. Love and luck.

He sat in front of her, Adrien Agreste, holding out a rose to a girl who was just like him, someone hiding behind a mask. He wondered, was she lonely too? "Salut, milday. My name is Adrien Agreste." His hand was shaking. Would she accept him for who he was?

"Adrien?" she said his name slowly, and her eyes looked him over, taking in every detail.

Regret began to overtake him. He shouldn't have sprung this on her without warning. It wasn't fair to her. He had just changed everything. Love and trust? Garbage. He had just broken her trust in order to fill his own loneliness. It wasn't fair to her, and now she could leave him, take away his miraculous and give it to someone who wouldn't break a promise like he had. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I- Please, just forget this happened. Plagg, trans-"

"Tikki, detransforme-moi."

Adrien looked at the girl sitting next to him, her fingers wrapped around the rose by his hand. "I trust you, Adrien. You won't be alone anymore. Never again."

Marinette was looking back at him, a smile on her face. "I promise."

Been a few years! Just graduated college with degrees in French and Creative Writing, so I hope y'all enjoy this. I go on to start my Master's in French in about a week, so maybe I'll translate this or one of my old stories when I feel confident. Anyway, let me know what y'all think. I'm in the process of plotting a Christmas story, so maybe we can get another long fic this winter... no promises though... I hope y'all have a fantastic day!