Faith In Nostalgia Chapter 1: Part I, a naruto fanfic

Hello, my darlings!

This fic was a commission that I got a little too carried away with. It was an interesting fic idea, and something with dynamics very much unlike anything I'm used to writing, but it clicked with me almost instantly. It's a little emotional and dramatic, so please bear with me.

This is a two part fic, and I hope you guys like it!

Not betaed (forgive the typos).

Next part will be posted tomorrow!

Faith In Nostalgia

Part I

Eight Years Old

The playground was full of children of different ages, playing together and laughing loudly under the warm spring sun, parents and relatives sitting on benches nearby to watch over them.

Naruto loved the playground. He loved hearing the children's screeching yells of excitement, loved the freedom of being able to drop to his knees on the ground and get dirty, loved running around mindlessly from one attraction to the other, and more importantly, he loved playing with the other kids. Considering it wasn't something he did much, he was always excited to meet them and ask if he could play with them.

Unfortunately, he didn't have this privilege as often as he wished - his parents didn't allow him to frequent such places, since his mother was often displeased whenever his clothes got dirty and crumpled.

Today was a special day, however, since his caretaker, Iruka, had surprised him by taking him out of the mansion to play. Iruka did that, sometimes, but he always asked Naruto to keep it a secret because if anyone found out, they wouldn't be able to go anymore.

Naruto was a good boy and didn't tell a soul - he didn't want him and Iruka to be in trouble.

Still, no matter how much the young boy enjoyed these days when he could pretend to be an average child in a typical city with normal parents, his reality was far from this - because he wasn't a middle-class citizen.

Naruto's family was very wealthy; his father was an influential businessman who had inherited a vast real-estate company, while his mother was a famous actress, solicited everywhere.

They all lived in a large and isolated mansion in the countryside, owning horses, fancy cars, and having the luxury of affording several permanent servants. The only downside was that the owners of all this wealth barely stepped foot inside the mansion, both too busy working, coming, and going like flashes of light.

Naruto had always been raised and schooled by Iruka and the servants inside the property. Needless to say that he had no friends and barely interacted with people his age, which was why he was always so excited to be surrounded by other children.

He knew that these kids he played with were just temporary friends and that he would probably never see them again. Chances were he only made another trip to the playground in a few weeks if he were lucky, but Naruto would still make sure to enjoy the day as much as he could.

Even if he didn't perceive it in such complex terms due to his young age, Naruto considered those 'friends' to be but something akin to an indulgence, like the treats he received when he was well-behaved. Those treats were short-lived, though, so while he enjoyed himself and liked to pretend that these days in the playground were something he experienced as often as other kids, he knew well not to have great hopes or expectations.

He knew well not to take anything (or anyone) for granted.

Because Naruto often felt needy, he knew the disappointment of becoming easily attached would be painful, so he knew well by now that getting too close would eventually end up making him sad.

He was scared of making 'friends' only to never see them again, but this wasn't something he dared to confess, not even to Iruka. The last thing he ever wanted was for anyone to think he wasn't a good boy and that there was something wrong with him.

"Mommy, can I go play there for a little bit?"

Naruto had been going down a slider when a boy's voice echoed in the air, catching his attention. As he landed on the sand and quickly got up, he looked around to find the voice's owner.

He didn't know what it was, but something about that simple phrase, uttered with so much excitement and hope, made him feel curious.

"I'm sorry, honey, but mommy has to go to work."

Blue eyes eventually found a duo of a dark-haired boy close to his age holding his mother's hand, both standing not too far from where Naruto was at the playground's entrance. The unknown boy seemed to have stopped, not wanting to budge as his mother tried to pull him along, urging him on.

"But you already worked today!" The boy complained, pouting up at the woman.

"I know, Sasuke, but you know I need to go to my other job," she replied, her face scrunching up in sadness. She was undeniably pretty with her fair skin contrasting with her dark long hair and eyes, yet she and the boy were dressed humbly in well-maintained, but old clothes.

Naruto watched the scene as if mesmerized, his innocent gaze glued on the two for reasons he couldn't fathom.

"Come on, just a little bit!" The boy insisted, both his tiny hands grabbing hers as he tried to pull his mother along towards the playground. "I promise it's just a little bit!"

"Darling, we don't have time," she said, shaking her head. "We can come another time, okay?"

"You always say that, but we never come!" the boy yelled, stomping his foot. "Everyone but me has already been to the playground! Why?"

At this, Naruto's eyes widened in surprise. Had that boy never been to the playground before? Even if Naruto himself didn't have many chances of going there, he could at least say that he had experienced it.

"Because mommy can't ," the woman said, and while she hadn't been aggressive, she was upset, as if she didn't want to have to say this. "You know mommy and daddy need to work and Itachi is waiting for us at home. I promise we'll come another day, alright?"

The boy stopped trying to pull his mother's hand, yet his eyes - big and dark like hers - filled with tears as he looked up. She eventually heaved a sigh and crouched down, caressing his hands with hers.

"There is nothing I wouldn't want more than to let you play as much as you like, but we don't have time," she said sadly, yet soothingly. Tears of frustration fell from the boy's eyes as he sniffed. "Please understand that mommy needs your help. You need to take care of your little cousin while we're working, okay? You must help Itachi, you know how much he needs you, right?"

The boy closed his mouth so tightly his lips looked white from where Naruto was. He eventually nodded, to which his mother smiled.

Frozen to the spot, Naruto watched the scene without blinking.

That simple boy, who looked like so many other 'normal' boys Naruto had seen, also led a rough life - so rough in fact, that his mother didn't even have time to take him to the playground, ever.

Naruto had always envied 'normal' children, whose parents worked, yet had time to sit down for dinner with them, cuddle them, read them bedtime stories, and take them for a fun day out on occasion.

It was his first time encountering another child who struggled in search of something, and it was his first time seeing how tough it was, for some people, to simply have time for such a mundane thing as letting their kids play.

Naruto was young and protected from the problems of the world and others around him, so to him, it always seemed like everyone lived the perfect life except for him. Seeing how other people also had their screwed-up situations was a little shocking to him.

Naruto's throat felt unexpectedly tight - he felt sorry for the boy, whose parents apparently didn't live far away but were always working, never at home.

The woman promptly wiped her son's tears away with a finger and stood. Then, hand in hand, the two went on their way, the boy taking one last, yearnful glance towards the playground. His dark eyes locked with Naruto's blue ones for a moment, and he seemed a little taken aback at noticing he was being watched. Even though there were tears still rolling down his cheeks and a small sphere of snot threatening its way out of one of his nostrils, Naruto thought that the other boy was pretty.

Awkwardly, Naruto raised a hand and hesitantly waved. When the other boy's free hand waved back, Naruto's heart skipped a beat, and he felt a strange sense of disappointment when the boy disappeared.

"Naruto?"

Iruka must've noticed how he had stopped playing to stare at the pair and had walked over to see what was wrong.

"Did you hear that, Iruka?" Naruto asked, immediately turning to his caretaker, and clenching his small fingers around the fabric of the man's shirt.

"Yes, I did," Iruka replied gently, placing a hand at the top of Naruto's head. "What's wrong?"

"Can you go after them and tell that boy's mom to let him play for a little bit?" Naruto asked hopefully, bright blue eyes looking up at Iruka pleadingly. "We can take care of him while she goes to work!"

Iruka all but heaved a small sigh before crouching down until he was leveled with Naruto. He smiled. "We don't know them, Naruto, so I doubt his mother would allow it," he said.

"Yeah, but still!" Naruto insisted, emphatically. "You could ask her to let him play for just a little bit since he wanted it so much! It's not fair to him! Don't you think she was being a little mean?"

At this, Iruka released a small chuckle. "Most parents want to see their children happy more than anything, so I doubt that she was trying to be mean to him," he denied, his eyes becoming a little sad as he looked back at Naruto. "I understand your feelings, but that family is probably struggling so the boy's parents need to be working all the time."

"Like mine?" Naruto asked innocently.

Iruka shook his head from side to side.

"Some parents, like yours, can have jobs that demand them to work a lot but they make a lot of money so they can have big houses, lots of food, pretty things, and many people to look after their children, like your parents," Iruka explained, choosing his words carefully. "However, not everyone is fortunate enough to make a lot of money, so some families work very hard and make very little money. That mother is probably worried about having to go to work so she can have money to afford tomorrow's meals. That boy probably doesn't have many toys like you do, and neither does he have the privilege of being able to come to the playground."

Naruto struggled to understand the meaning of the word 'privilege', but it was something Iruka said many times, so he supposed it had to do with good things that he could one way or another, afford to do. He had always considered the playground a rare privilege, but now that Iruka mentioned it, maybe it was a bigger privilege than he thought.

"But… why does that happen?" Naruto inquired, confused. "Shouldn't everyone who works hard have lots of money?"

Iruka laughed. "Unfortunately, that's not how it works, Naruto," he said. "Besides, having a lot of money doesn't guarantee a happy life. Either way, even if I'm sure you feel sorry for that boy, it's not our place to step in and intervene. That mother is just looking out for her family and doing what she thinks is best. Maybe the next time we come he'll be here and the two of you can play together."

"Yeah, I would like that," Naruto mumbled, for some reason, looking back at the entrance of the playground, his innocent heart somehow hoping that the boy and his mother would magically reappear.

Of course, they didn't.

Despite Iruka's words, Naruto wished he could've done something to help. Playing with others was so much fun, and not having friends sucked. If the boy didn't go to the playground, did he even have friends at all? Probably not. Naruto didn't, and he had cool toys. If the boy didn't have toys, he probably didn't have anyone who wanted to play with him because kids liked other kids who had toys.

Still, he couldn't help the feeling of empathy he had for the other boy, even if he was a stranger. They shared a mutual pain, even if in different ways, and when they had locked eyes, he instantly felt that they would've been friends if they had a chance to play together.

In the next few months, this thought would always help cheer him up whenever he felt down, and he wouldn't feel so alone anymore.

Sixteen Years Old

"Naruto, can we get cokes?" One of his schoolmates asked excitedly as they entered a convenience store.

"Oh, and donuts! Maybe chips, too!" Another one added, eyes filled with hope even though he knew Naruto's answer already considering he paid for everyone's treats just about every fucking day after school.

It was pocket change to him, anyway, since his daily allowance was probably more than those kids earned per month.

"Yeah, go ahead," Naruto agreed with an encouraging grin that he had mastered to perfection. His two schoolmates (he wouldn't exactly call them 'friends' despite being considerably close to them) yelped excitedly and dashed off towards the shelves that held the items they wanted.

Despite being loaded, and against his parents' wishes, Naruto had wanted to go to a 'normal' school rather than a fancy one, just so he could feel like he was, for once, just another kid. Of course, while people talked about how generous he was, he simply could not tell a soul that he was rich because this could get him in trouble. He had been doing a great job fitting in with the other kids, pretending to be like them, being careful enough not to wear expensive clothes, shoes or accessories, and even taking a bus to commute to school – there was no way he was going to blow up his cover.

The last thing he wanted was to be seen as different.

Of course, being a 'normal' high schooler was not as exciting as Naruto had first predicted, but at least he could socialize, make friends, and join all the clubs he wanted. The best part, though, was the fact that he was free to be outside of the house and do whatever he wanted after years of being homeschooled.

His love life had also improved quite a lot, and thanks to the other guys from his class, he had learned many things about sex that he had known nothing about. Life had certainly become more interesting for him, even if not exactly exciting.

Naruto could almost say that this was a happy period of his life.

Almost.

His parents were still mostly absent, and he still had a hard time trusting people and making genuine bonds. He knew how to be a good friend and how to make people like him – an act he had also practiced to perfection - but while he wasn't alone, he felt like he had yet to find an honest connection with somebody. He had fun, but it was fleeting.

Naruto pretended to be like those kids - to understand their difficulties and struggles, their parents' scolding, the lack of money to buy computer games, their nagging siblings – but these were things he knew nothing about, so it was inevitable that he felt painfully distanced from them and their realities. When they sighed and wished that they were rich, Naruto felt like gagging. He understood that money solved many problems, but that didn't mean that everyone rich was granted a lifetime of joy and happiness.

Oftentimes Naruto wondered if he was selfish and insensitive by not appreciating what he had, but in truth, he'd rather not have his big-ass home and expensive things if it meant he could have his parents around and be genuinely content with his life.

He would give it all away for the chance of being genuinely 'normal', free to forge connections without being afraid of their intentions. Because people did change when dealing with the rich and the powerful – Naruto knew it all too well.

It was hard for him to trust others, and even harder to feel thankful for his life when it forced him to pretend to be someone he wasn't just so he could have some semblance of normalcy.

His painful reality was that most days were just extremely dull, but he couldn't risk having it all being compromised by others knowing the truth about him and his family. He dreaded the day that anyone from school would find out that his mother was famous.

Shoving his hands inside the pockets of his uniform pants, he heaved a sigh and lazily made his way towards the stand where magazines of all sorts were displayed.

Quickly, Naruto glanced at the cheap watch on his wrist – he still had about half an hour before he had to take the bus. He didn't feel like going home yet, but he knew Iruka would cut his head off if he didn't respect his curfew.

As he picked up a magazine about gaming and flipped the pages, he felt bored out of his mind.

"I'm sorry, just give me a moment," a male voice was saying, sounding both embarrassed and somewhat surprised. "I know I have the money somewhere; I was sure I had it in my wallet today…"

More out of curiosity than anything else, Naruto looked to the side to where the register counter was. There was a young man close to his age standing in front of said counter but Naruto couldn't see his face since his back was turned to him. Regardless, he was momentarily impressed by the sight of the other's hair, stylishly spiked at the back, strands as black as night. There were faint speckles of dark blue that shone amidst the strands with the sun's reflection filtering inside the store from the show window, and Naruto had to wonder if it was natural or if the guy had dyed his hair to achieve that kind of effect.

It was pretty cool, though.

"Would you like me to put your bill on hold?" The woman behind the counter was saying, offering the guy a polite, yet worried look as he seemed to be frantically fumbling with something in his hands – his wallet, Naruto assumed.

"No, I…" The guy's voice was nice, clear, and deep in a smooth way, even if he was so obviously in distress. "I don't know what happened, but I only have this much."

The guy was probably showing the woman how much money he had.

"Well, that's enough to buy rice and the apples, at least," the lady said, looking at him with an apologetic look on her face. This was when Naruto noticed that there were several items on the counter that the guy had probably meant to purchase – meat, vegetables, some milk, bread, and more fruit.

His eyebrows rose. Was that dude short on cash?

"Just that?" The other teen asked, and for a moment, his voice shook in pure horror. "Oh, fuck; I just remembered I still need to go to the pharmacy. I can't take that either. Fuck, how could this have happened?"

There was something in the way that the guy spoke, more to himself than anyone else, that made an alarm set off inside Naruto's mind because he could instantly sense that he was in trouble – the other boy seemed genuinely upset for some reason.

Most people would just laugh off the fact that they had forgotten money at home and be done with it, but this guy sounded like he was completely panicking over the fact.

"I'm sorry to hear that," the lady behind the counter said. "Do you want to leave the groceries with me while you go check if there is something else you can still buy?"

The guy's hands were shaking as he shoved his wallet back inside his worn-out backpack.

"No, I'll put them back myself," he said, immediately shoving all the groceries back inside the basket. "I'm sorry for the trouble, but I can't buy anything anymore. I'm really sorry."

"It's alright, you don't have to –" the lady was muttering, but the teen had already bowed down respectfully and picked up the basket. He promptly turned on his heels, making Naruto quickly look down at the magazine so he wasn't caught staring.

The guy walked by him with erratic steps, and as he did so, Naruto caught a whiff of his scent of shampoo and something similar to cinnamon. It was a very distinctive smell unlike anything Naruto had ever smelled on another person, but it wasn't unpleasant at all.

He looked over his shoulder to take a glimpse of the other guy, who was now putting a few things back on a shelf nearby, but he couldn't see his face. How unfortunate.

Naruto could hear a few repetitive 'fuck' being uttered under the other boy's breath, and he could see the way the other's slender hands still trembled.

"What the fuck do I do now …" the guy was grumbling. "Fuck, how could this have happened…"

For some reason, Naruto felt sorry for him.

Despite having no idea what was upsetting the guy so much, he could tell it wasn't just a matter of someone having lost some money or left it at home. Even if he couldn't see the other's face, he would bet that the guy was deadly pale.

He didn't know what it was, but it moved him.

Closing the magazine and putting it back on the shelf, Naruto made his way to the counter, where the lady seemed to be trying to get a glimpse of the other boy as well, her eyes filled with concern.

"Hi," Naruto greeted with a smile, making her jump slightly as her gaze fell on him. "Is everything alright? That guy seemed to be in a bit of a mess. Do you need any help?"

"Ah no, not at all!" The lady said with a dismissive wave of her hand, laughing awkwardly. "He and his brother are regulars here, so while they're quiet, they mean no harm; but thank you."

"Oh, I thought he might try and steal something since you seemed worried," Naruto lied, but adding a bit of playfulness to his words as he smiled – hopefully, she would spill the beans if she had any information about the guy's situation.

"Oh, no," she said, shaking her head with conviction. "He just seemed to be short on money. I knew it would happen someday since he's always counting coins when he comes. I just hope everything is alright, but I heard his mother is in the hospital. Some people just have it tough; you know?"

Ah, there it was, what he needed to hear, yet that bit of information did nothing to make Naruto feel any less uneasy.

"Yeah, it must suck," Naruto said, his heart clenching - it was new to him, this feeling of being so uncomfortable over someone else's misfortune.

It wasn't the first time that he felt compelled to help other people, but for some reason, he simply could not walk away knowing someone was in such a state of unsettlement and such a complicated situation.

"Thank you for your concern, though," the lady said, smiling gratefully at Naruto. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Actually, yeah," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head with an embarrassed and innocent grin that he knew made people completely fall for his every whim. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

000

Sasuke bit down on his lower lip so hard he was sure his teeth would leave a mark on his skin. He couldn't even feel any sort of physical pain as unshed tears unfocused his vision and anger and humiliation burned his heart.

Quickly and harshly he shoved the items he had been planning on purchasing one by one in their respective places.

He could not believe it; he had no money to buy food and he wasn't sure there was even enough at home for dinner for all of them. He needed to get his father's antidepressants or it would be the second day he would be without. That was a definite no, as they had already more than once been witness to what it did to the man when he did not take them, and they couldn't have that - it was too dangerous.

How could one choose between food and medicine?

Sasuke's hands were shaking. He studied, worked two part-time jobs, and helped his older brother take care of the house, their five-year-old orphan cousin, Shisui, and their father, not to mention the daily visits to the hospital to see his mother who had just been diagnosed with a degenerative disease. Itachi himself was a part-timer already in college, and he gave their family whatever was left of his scholarship and his paycheck.

How was it possible that, with them working this hard every single fucking day, the money ran out so terrifyingly quickly? How was it possible that he no longer had the money for groceries? He was sure he had a bill inside his wallet, he had checked just last night.

His actions froze in the middle of shoving some flour back on the shelf. He just remembered Itachi saying something about needing to borrow some money to pay for one of Shisui's school activities. Itachi must have taken the money from his wallet and Sasuke had just allowed it without thinking that he needed it – after all, Shisui's well-being was always a top priority and they always made sure to pay for every trip or activity they did at school so he wouldn't fall behind or miss out on things.

The worst part was they always let most of the groceries run out at home before purchasing more.

How was it possible that they had so many expenses that this was a constant occurrence in their lives?

Releasing a groan, Sasuke weakly dropped the basket in his hand and supported his weight with a hand on the shelves. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against a pack of flour, his body feeling so unbearably heavy he felt feverish.

What was he going to do now? He was too embarrassed to show his face at the bakery shop again asking for left-overs - he'd already done that about four times in the last two months, and even if he knew that the owner was more than happy to give him some bread and leftover cakes, it was still unbearably humiliating.

What could he do? He needed his father's medicine, not getting it was not an option, but they needed food. Even if Shisui ate at school, he still needed to have dinner.

Sasuke wanted to cry, but he was so physically and mentally exhausted he realized he had no strength to do so anymore.

Even his legs were shaking. He felt sick to his stomach.

How was it possible that no matter how fucking hard he worked they were always struggling? Both Sasuke and Itachi were top students, aiming high so they could have promising careers that would allow them to improve their family situation, but time didn't seem to pass quickly enough.

"Excuse me?"

Sasuke jumped slightly, looking to the side to find the cashier lady smiling at him.

"Yes?" Sasuke inquired, quickly straightening his posture, blood rushing up to his cheeks – why was he always caught in humiliating situations? "I'm sorry, I will be done putting everything back in a second."

"There's no need," she assured him, for some reason sounding relieved as she said it. "A blond young man about your age has offered to pay for your groceries, and even offered a bit more so you can buy something extra if you need."

Sasuke's eyes widened, his heart beating fast. "What?" he whispered in disbelief. " What young man? I didn't see anybody, and I don't know anybody who could do that."

"He didn't have the same uniform like yours," the lady said, shaking her head apologetically. "It was the first time I saw him around, too. But he wanted to help and left a considerable amount of money for you."

"How much?" Sasuke asked, so astonished he could barely think.

When the lady told him, Sasuke nearly gasped. That was enough for the weekly groceries he needed, his father's medicine, and there would still be some left for some more shopping the following week, too.

Who?

Who could've done this? Someone his age? Some rich kid?

"If you don't need to spend it all, you'll keep the change obviously," the lady said with a kind smile.

"Thank you," Sasuke breathed, unsure of what else to say or how to feel, even if, suddenly, it felt like the world was so much easier to breathe in. "Is he still around?"

"No, he just left," the lady replied, with a small shrug. "I'll leave you to your purchases, then!"

Sasuke could only gape as she turned her back on him.

It was unbelievable. He hadn't seen anybody, hadn't even noticed other people in the store, let alone a guy his age.

But someone had seen him, heard him, and watched him, and that person had felt his distress. That unknown guy had taken pity on him and felt the need to lend a hand, and while Sasuke hated even needing help, there was no matching the absolute sense of relief and gratefulness he felt.

He was so angry, though. Angry that he had been so obviously desperate that someone had felt the need to lend a hand. Regardless, most people wouldn't care, they would just ignore it and move on.

But not this guy. Rich or not, it was none of his business, he didn't have to intervene, to do something.

But he had and hadn't stuck around to brag.

Sasuke quickly ran to the exit, going outside and stopping himself on the sidewalk. Eagerly, he looked around, hoping to find the person that had helped him but there was no one around that matched the lady's description. He still ran around a bit, from one end of the street to the other, but there was no one.

The guy had vanished.

Heaving a sigh, Sasuke took a deep breath through his nose. How could he ever thank this individual for what he had done?

He would find him, he promised himself. One day, he would find this person and do something in return for him.

Feeling immensely lighter despite his frustration, Sasuke finally wiped at the moistness in his eyes and made his way back inside the store.

He had never prayed, but somehow, some divine existence had come for him in a moment of distress. Things would not be horrible forever; he knew that now.

Someone was watching over him.

Eighteen Years Old

Naruto was bored out of his mind despite the lively environment around him. Some kind of dance music was playing in the background and all-around people were chatting, laughing, or drinking themselves silly like the young adults they were.

Leaning his back against a wall, he took a swig of his beer as his bright blue eyes scanned the room.

His department had wanted to go out that Friday night, so everyone had gathered at this underground club with flashy neon lights that smelled of pot and piss. Good music and cheap drinks, they said, but Naruto didn't know why they bothered when he was the one who always offered to pay anyway – somewhere decent and quiet would be nice for a change.

These events used to fascinate him before, but now they were just dull. Everyone just wanted to dance and find someone to make out (or have sex) with, so it's not like they were there to bond with each other or anything of the sort.

An hour in and Naruto was just hoping to find someone interesting so he wouldn't be so bored and upset he drank himself to oblivion – which happened more times than he cared to admit.

He didn't like to delve into why he always ended up upset during these outings; all he knew was that he became so suffocated by self-deprecating thoughts and felt so lonely it was easier to drink it out. His friends took it all as a part of him already, so they never wondered about why this always happened – he was the happy drunk they made the effort to take home simply because he provided the cash to make everything they wanted to happen.

Lowering his bottle, Naruto smacked his lips in disappointment. One of the perks of finding someone for sex was that it gave him a good excuse to leave without anyone thinking he was a party pooper. Also, with his mind busy, he didn't feel the need to drink… much. Unless the other person was a drag, of course.

He thought college was going to be fun, but he was frankly tired of the constant partying. However, there was no other choice for him but to tag along with his loud group of friends and pretend that this was fun for him, otherwise, how could he possibly stay in the spotlight and keep his popularity in check? He wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, so all he could do was use his money and connections to get shit done for him.

Regardless, that didn't mean he was happy about it.

Most nights, he just wanted to stay in his apartment and binge watch anime, finish with some good porn and call it a day.

But he was fucking 18 and finally free to live his life and be by himself, so he was supposed to take it all in and embrace the full potential of his youth – which he did. It was a convenient façade, but he was good at it.

Sometimes he wished he could just be an ordinary nerd and not have to worry about anything.

But most nerds he knew were considered weird and didn't have many friends. They did seem happy with the few friends they did have, though, and Naruto envied them.

Naruto was a walking contradiction, really – despite his past, he desired peace and a quiet life with warm friends, yet he became intensely restless if he didn't have a lot of people surrounding him, wanting him and/or his attention, for whatever reason it may be.

All of it was shallow and empty, not what he wanted at all, which he knew. Still, he couldn't help it. It was a constant void he constantly struggled to fill.

Naruto had already exchanged gazes and small talk with a few girls and a couple of guys, but his heart wasn't in it for some reason. Not that they weren't attractive – not that it mattered – but somehow he felt disheartened that night. Everything and everyone was just so tedious and the dynamics were the same, every single time.

His eyes landed by chance on the entrance of the small club not too far from where he was, where someone was just arriving.

Blond eyebrows shot upwards. There was a guy just about his age coming in, and he seemed to be by himself, wearing some plain jeans, a red t-shirt, and a stylish black jacket.

'Whoa' was Naruto's first thought as he straightened his back, his hand gripping his bottle of beer a little tighter. The guy was stunning , with gorgeous features, feral dark eyes and hair carefully styled in the back so it was a mess of spikes. Naruto thought he had seen that somewhere before, but he couldn't remember where.

Mr. Handsome didn't seem to be looking for anyone as he just took a brief look around and then made his way to the bar, Naruto's gaze following him.

From looking at the other, Naruto couldn't tell at all if the guy was potentially not straight. He fidgeted a bit for some reason – he wasn't usually shy, and while he had been moping about no one catching his interest just a minute ago, he was completely unprepared for the fact that he was so instantly attracted to someone at first glance.

But, damn, the guy was fine in every sense and Naruto wanted to talk to him and see if he was as alluring intellectually as he was physically.

Hesitating, Naruto watched as the guy asked for a drink. A beer was immediately slammed on the counter in front of him and he took a relaxed swig, vaguely looking around at nothing in particular.

Was the stranger waiting for someone, or was he there alone just because he felt like it? Naruto liked to consider the latter because that would make the guy all the more interesting.

Gathering up his courage, Naruto took a step towards the guy, intent on making conversation and perhaps buy him a drink and check his tastes, but was stopped as two cute girls shamelessly approached the other, who seemed a little surprised. They started talking to him, so he ended up smiling and shaking his head – and heavens, that smile was as beautiful as he was, full of perfect teeth.

Heaving a sigh, Naruto leaned back against the wall, defeated. He could see a few people checking out the guy already. Of course, they would, who wouldn't? He looked like a fucking model, some celebrity straight out of a 'Born-to-be-beautiful' magazine.

Despite knowing he was attractive, Naruto felt strangely insecure all of a sudden. What chance did he have with such a perfect human being, and with so many other people around already hungry for him? The stranger seemed nice, too, if that smile was any indication.

For some reason, Naruto felt unworthy for reasons he could not explain – it was a feeling that overcame him completely, and with such force it rendered him powerless.

He hated it and had never talked about it with anyone, not even Iruka, afraid that the man suggested he needed some form of therapy, which he probably did, for many, many reasons.

Rubbing his face with his free hand, Naruto tried not to moan pathetically. Where the hell were his friends, anyway? The night was going downhill already, and he felt his mood quickly going from bad to worse.

Biting on his lower lip, he made his way to the bar where the guy still was, talking to those girls without even noticing him. Naruto asked for another beer, and as he waited, a delicious, distinctive scent filled his senses, overpowering all the other terrible scents surrounding him. It was sort of clean, nostalgic, too, but he didn't know why. It was a homely cinnamon scent similar to incense. Instead of calming him down, though, it only seemed to make him sadder, but he pushed all his emotions away. Everything was becoming troublesome inside his head again, and he didn't like it.

Dealing with emotions was something he hated to do, something he avoided at all costs and something he had mastered throughout the years.

Naruto couldn't let himself falter. He knew it was stupid of him to feel like shit so out of the blue, yet he couldn't help it. Was there even a valid reason for him to feel this way? Maybe, or maybe not – it made no difference.

As soon as he got his beer, Naruto made his way to the dance floor, to try and find his friends. He didn't look back at the beautiful guy he had wanted to meet, too scared that his disappointment would consume him.

It was going to be a long night.

000

"Hey, have you seen Naruto?"

"Didn't he say he was going to the bathroom?"

"I just came from the bathroom and he wasn't there."

"You think that stuff you gave him didn't sit well? Maybe we should go look for him."

"Nah, he's used to it already, maybe he just went home with some chick and didn't tell us anything, for a change."

"He didn't text you, though?"

"Does he ever? He only apologizes the next day."

"That fucking asshole always gets it on. It sucks man, who's gonna buy the drinks now? I didn't even bring money with me."

Sasuke didn't even fight the urge to roll his eyes at the two guys close by shouting at each other over the loud music. Stupid people, what the fuck was wrong with this generation of idiots? This was exactly why he didn't find the need to socialize and make friends. He already had a select few that he loved and trusted, he didn't need to get along with this type of crowd, neither did he want to.

Vaguely, Sasuke mused that he sounded like an old man, even in his head, and he snorted as he took a swig on his beer. Regardless of what he thought of the young people surrounding him in that loud, hormone-infested place, he was young, too, and he had gone there willingly. By himself .

It was his first year of college, and he was finally able to breathe and live for himself a little rather than for others. Of course, he still worked a part-time job but, like his older brother, Sasuke had been able to get a scholarship good enough to allow him to drop his second job. Life had felt so much easier for him during these last few weeks that he had allowed himself the indulgence of thinking of himself first, just this once.

Unfortunately, his friends all went to different universities, so they couldn't all hang out, but this hadn't stopped Sasuke from taking the night off to treat himself.

It didn't matter that he hadn't exactly made friends with his college mates yet, but that was okay - he was more than fine just spending some time alone, fucking finally .

For the first time in forever, he was going to take a few hours to think only about himself and not care about anyone else. So he had cleaned up his dorm room, had gone out to purchase some new clothes and shoes - not without a bit of excited/guilty nervousness because this was a first -, came back to the dorm to shower and get dressed, and then went out again to have dinner. He had gotten himself something easy to eat while strolling downtown since he wanted to browse the shops and see what the city had to offer.

It had been a nice, quiet evening for him, and one where he didn't allow himself to be bothered by anything while filling himself with hope for the future. Moments like these were needed.

For the first time, he allowed himself to believe that, from here on out, things could only get better and that everything would be alright. Sasuke had gotten this far, and he would only keep pushing further. Everything would be alright, and all the shattered pieces of his life would come together, slowly but consistently.

Sasuke hadn't planned on going to a bar or anything of the sort, but the idea struck him suddenly and he thought to himself, why not? He could just have a drink, see what it was like and then head back to the dorms.

He was a fucking man now; he had the right to live a little and make up for all the things he missed out on while in high school.

And now, there he was, in that God-forsaken place, surrounded by horny youngsters like himself, and strangely enough, the only person that he could confirm that was there completely alone.

Not that he felt like there was something wrong with it - he liked being with his thoughts and observing other people make a fool out of themselves in their excessively drunken states, and really, he found all that flirting and rubbing against each other a little pathetic. No wonder people didn't take teenagers seriously.

It was entertaining, though, and Sasuke would've considered staying longer if people would just leave him the fuck alone - he had lost count of how many girls had approached him already. There was also an older guy probably in his early twenties (and pretty attractive) who had offered him a drink but Sasuke had refused, much to the man's disappointment.

Sasuke didn't like the prospect of random sex in public spaces, plus while he didn't think a lot about his sexual preferences, he didn't feel comfortable with the idea of being reckless just to figure himself out. Of course, he had needs like everyone else and wasn't exactly innocent, but he was way too picky to just go for something without genuinely wanting it. The fact that he wasn't very good at socializing didn't help either, but for some reason, people were lured to him like magnets. It was flattering, but immensely annoying as well.

It was getting late, so he decided to head out - it was Friday but he had to work the next day during the afternoon, and he still wanted to get some studying done during the morning.

He finished his beer and slammed it on the counter. Nodding his head towards the muscled bartender, he zipped up his jacket and made his way outside, trying to ignore the several pairs of eyes that followed him.

The night breeze was a little cold but felt good on his flushed cheeks - it was nice to get away from the loud beat of the music.

The street was predictably busy even at that time, yet Sasuke felt a fulfilling wave of calm that came with an immense sense of gratitude. It was so nice to be able to feel this way, free and uncaring and not worrying about curfews or duties or anything else. He didn't have to run to be somewhere tonight, didn't have to rush home.

Even if it was just for a little while, it felt good.

He shuffled inside the pocket of his jacket for the pack of smokes there and pulled it out along with a small lighter. He opened the lid to find three cigarettes. His eccentric roommate had given it to him as a joke in case he felt like smoking, and Sasuke rarely did, but somehow he felt like having one tonight just for the heck of it.

Fishing out one single cigarette, he brought it to his lips and shoved the pack back inside his pocket. With the small lighter, he then tried to light the cigarette but the persistent breeze seemed to always kill the flame. With a groan, Sasuke looked around and found an alley close by, so he made his way there, hoping that the building would protect him from the nagging breeze.

What he hadn't expected, though, was to find a young man close to his age laying on the dirty ground on his back.

Sasuke halted, his mouth going lax and letting the cigarette fall from his lips, the lighter in his hand sliding to the ground as well as sudden shock made him feel unexpectedly powerless.

Because the unconscious guy was hidden in the shadows cast by the building, it was difficult for passerby to notice there was someone there, but since Sasuke had entered the alley, he could see the body clearly.

Fuck, no, he thought desperately, completely unprepared for coming face to face with such a scene, frozen to the spot as his eyes were unable to look away from the unmoving person. Was the guy drunk? Was he drugged? What if he was dead ?

Sasuke didn't know what to do, but he at least knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he fled without doing anything, so he took a shaky breath and hurried to the other.

There was a pool of vomit on the ground next to the guy's head, and he looked deadly pale but seemed alive at least. Sasuke immediately knelt, one shaky hand hovering above the other's slightly parted lips. He was relieved to feel a feeble, yet warm breath on his palm.

Reaching out, he checked for a pulse on the side of the other's neck and found a steady, yet slow pumping.

He remembered reading something about what to do when such situations presented themselves, but he was glad that the guy was breathing because he couldn't for the life of him remember how to do CPR correctly.

"Hey," he called out, tapping the guy's cold cheek a little forcefully. "Hey, can you hear me?"

There was no response, but he should've expected it. He tried a few more times, but the other didn't even flinch.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Sasuke clenched both fists over his thighs. He needed to get his shit together. He should have called an ambulance by now but he knew there was something else he could do before that, yet it was difficult to even think about anything at all at this point.

Jolting, Sasuke remembered. Quickly, he maneuvered the unconscious young man so he was on his side facing Sasuke, one leg pulled up so it made an angle to support his weight. Shaky yet resolute, Sasuke was careful to lift the guy's head and, with a hand, he grabbed for the other's wrist and guided it until the guy's hand was under his head, acting as a pillow. He was careful to make sure nothing got scratched in the process.

At least he knew that this was correct, that he'd done what he could for the time being. After that, maybe 911 could guide him further.

Heaving a heavy sigh, he grabbed for his mobile phone and finally made the call.

It was going to be a long night. So much for the perfect evening he had planned. Leave it to fate to not give him a moment's rest.

000

Sasuke sat on a chair beside the hospital bed, arms crossed over his chest as he threw daggers at the sleeping person in front of him.

The sun had already risen and he hadn't slept a wink.

Not only had the guy drunk himself to a stupor, but he had also consumed some type of light drug that had mixed with the alcohol. He had also been robbed while he had been unconscious, but his ID had stated that his name was Naruto and he belonged to some rich family and was from a different university from Sasuke's.

When the ambulance had arrived, Naruto's so-called 'friends' had shown up to see what the commotion was about and had been shocked to find him there. Sasuke realized said friends were the two dudes that had been talking beside him before he left and was so pissed off he insisted that he wanted to be the one to accompany Naruto inside the ambulance and take care of things for him. No one needed friends like that.

Sasuke had to report what he knew to the police and give off a lot of information about himself that he wished he didn't have to disclose. He hoped this wouldn't be troublesome for his family, even if the cops and everyone he came across at the hospital said he had done a great job 'saving' Naruto. He didn't feel like a 'savior' at all, he simply hadn't run away.

Still, he was pissed that he had to go through this type of stressful experience because of someone's recklessness, be it Naruto's or his 'friends', it didn't matter.

It angered him to no end that people would go this far just to look cool and not see the potential danger.

Eyeing Naruto's sleeping features, Sasuke wouldn't for the life of him consider this stranger to be the type. Naruto looked young while sleeping, and his features were friendly - one could almost call them innocent.

Still, Naruto had 'friends'; how could they let him go this far? How could they simply not care where he was or what he was doing? How could they easily give him drugs to take? Why was he even by himself to begin with?

These were questions Sasuke wanted to ask the other but also didn't know if he had the right to. He and Naruto didn't know each other, and in all honesty, Sasuke didn't know if he wanted to make friends with this person.

Biting on his lower lip, Sasuke closed his eyes, exhausted. He just wanted to make sure the guy woke up. The doctors said he would be fine, nothing but a bad trip, but Sasuke felt anxious for some reason.

Reopening his eyes, Sasuke dragged his chair closer to Naruto's bed until he could rest both his elbows on the mattress. Dark eyes traveled across the other's face, which now had regained a lot more color compared to when Sasuke had found him.

Naruto was good-looking, with well-defined features, unruly blond hair, and skin that seemed to have a bit of a tan. To Sasuke, he was… attractive, he supposed. Maybe in a different dimension - or if they could turn back time and make it so none of this would have happened - Sasuke would've found Naruto in that club and find him interesting enough to strike a conversation with.

I'm definitely not straight, Sasuke thought bitterly. Plus, who was to say that Naruto even liked guys? Weren't his 'friends' saying he always left with chicks?

Reaching out, Sasuke pushed Naruto's fringe away from his forehead. "You're too cute to be such an astronomical idiot," he said in a whisper, before crossing his arms over the mattress and frowning at the other's sleeping face. "Your type of idiot just gets into these sorts of situations and trusts that someone will magically appear to save them. Do you have no self-respect? No sense of self-worth? Is your fucking life so meaningless that you think it's okay to put it at risk during a fucking night out at a club?"

Realizing the impact of his words, Sasuke closed his mouth. What he had just said could be true, or not. Still, it was harsh and insensitive to accuse the other of something so serious. Maybe Naruto was just a mindless kid who didn't know his limits, but the fact that he had been completely alone in that alley without a single person looking out for him made Sasuke's guts twist in revulsion.

"Don't hang around with that type of crowd, you fucking jerk," Sasuke proceeded. "Popularity is not worth it. They're with you for the money; they don't care about you. It's better to be alone than be with people who don't care. Find yourself some better friends and don't fucking drink until you drop. God, do you even realize the situation you put me through? Do you even realize what could've happened to you if no one had found you in that alley? Fucking treasure your life more, fucking asshole!"

With a sigh, Sasuke rubbed his face. When the fuck would he be able to go home and forget that this ever happened? Why did he have to feel so angry at the world, at Naruto, and on Naruto's behalf , too? His exhaustion was making him overly emotional and he didn't like that. He'd suffered enough already; he just wanted some peace.

"I'm… sorry…"

Jumping in his chair, Sasuke lowered his hands to see Naruto shifting a little, his face scrunched up in pain or nausea. Golden eyelashes fluttered a bit before Naruto opened his eyes a tiny bit, revealing a flash of vibrant blue Sasuke was completely unprepared for.

That was a hue of blue he had never seen before, and somehow it only made Naruto look even more attractive.

When said mesmerizing color looked around confusedly and landed on Sasuke, his heart exploded.

"I… you…" Naruto said, with difficulty. "You're… what…"

"I'm going to call the nurse," Sasuke announced hurriedly, getting up at once, but a hand grabbed his wrist in a weak grasp.

"No…" Naruto said, and his voice was raspy. He seemed to be having a difficult time focusing his sight because his eyes were narrowed as they tried to look at Sasuke. "You… you're that guy… the club… you were… so pretty… how…"

"You passed out on the alley and I found you," Sasuke said quickly, his mind racing too much to process what Naruto was telling him. "It's okay; I'm going to call the nurse."

"No…"

But Sasuke was already carefully shaking Naruto's grip away and making his way out of the room. He did not want to have to explain anything to Naruto and was too tired to deal with his own emotions now that he had seen Naruto awake.

For some reason, he felt like he had already gotten involved a little too much and he didn't need any more drama in his life as it was.

His job here was done.

000

Sasuke had fled and didn't want anything to do with Naruto. Naruto was pissed about the fact.

The hospital had only been allowed to disclose the name of the person who had saved him. Naruto had seen the guy's face upon awakening and had immediately recognized the beautiful person he had wanted to flirt with at the club. Life had these strange things, and he could barely believe that the most gorgeous person he had ever seen would end up saving his life.

Naruto wanted to meet Sasuke, to thank him, talk to him, maybe even be friends, but the guy had disappeared. He had left to call the nurse and Naruto never saw him again.

Once he was discharged from the hospital, Naruto asked Iruka to find who Sasuke was. Through a private detective, Naruto was able to disclose that Sasuke was a top scholarship student at a different university from his but who came from a struggling family. His mother suffered from a degenerative disease and required a lot of money for medical treatment every month, while his father was unemployed and with severe depression that had lasted for as long as his wife had been sick. Sasuke and his older brother, Itachi, had been the ones to keep the family in check by themselves. They also had a younger cousin to take care of.

Naruto didn't want to openly show up at Sasuke's dorm, so he sent him a check as a sign of gratitude, hoping that the other would want to meet up, but the effect ended up being the opposite. Not only did Sasuke send the check back, but he also sent a note that he would report Naruto to the police if he stalked him again and that he had no right to invade people's lives like this.

Of course, Sasuke was right, but Naruto just wanted to reach out somehow, even if just once so he could properly thank him.

So instead, Naruto sent Itachi a check that was meant to cover a year of medical expenses for their parents and wrote him a long letter begging for him to convince Sasuke to see him, at least once.

Itachi must have done what he could, and the check never came back, which was a relief, but neither did the phone call Naruto wanted to receive.

Instead of said phone call, he received yet another letter from Sasuke.

'I saved your life because I had to. I'm not your hero and I don't want to be friends. You don't owe me anything.

Try harder and make better friends next time, and don't ever find yourself in such a situation again because there might be no savior there to find you.

Value your fucking life more.

I'll accept your check, but stop looking for me. I don't have time to make friends, and my situation with you was already uncomfortable enough as it was.