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xxxx

Just before the light completely vanished, I saw Dimitri's face join Lissa's. I wanted to smile. I decided then that if the two people I loved most were safe, I could leave this world. The dead could finally have me. And I'd fulfilled my purpose, right? To Protect? I'd done it. I'd saved Lissa, just like I'd sworn I'd always do. I was dying in battle. No appointment books for me.

Lissa's face shone with tears, and I hoped that mine conveyed how much I loved her. With the last spark of life I had left, I tried to speak, tried to let Dimitri know I loved him too and that he had to protect her now. I don't think he understood, but the words of the guardian mantra were my last conscious thought.

They come first.

(Last Sacrifice, Richelle Mead)

xxxx

Fear rushed through my system as I heard Lissa scream.

My eyes shot open and I tried to blink back the memories of the car crash. Fire. Blood. Pain.

I haven't had a dream like that since— another scream ripped through the air.

Lissa! I quickly jumped to my feet and rushed over to her bed on the other side of the small room. This isn't my nightmare.

"Liss, wake up. It is all just a memory. You aren't there anymore." I murmured to her as I tried to wrap my head around what's happening.

The last thing I remember was looking into Dimitri and Lissa's eyes. Tasha shot me. I was dying.

"Andre, mom, dad, they're all dead!" Lissa sobbed into my shoulder and I rubbed her back.

"I know." This isn't right. I've already lived through this.

Haven't I?

Waking up in Portland and seeing Oscar, the cat of our former -current?- roommate was not what I expected when I died.

Am I dead? Is it my own personal hell that I have to relive some of the worst moments in my life? I feel alive, but none of this makes any sense.

I was taken down by a gun, a coward's weapon. And I saw the ghost and shadows that are always with me. I should be dead but...

"I had that dream."

"Yeah. I know."

We sat in the darkness, silent, processing. Her, on when the nightmares would finally end. Me, on what could have happened to send me back to this night.

Does this have anything to do with spirit? I know that Lissa, Adrian and I have barely scratched the surface of what spirit could do, but this was extreme. To be sent back in time just didn't make any logical sense. Victor himself said that the land of the dead wouldn't give me up a second time but what if the spirit didn't give death a chance.

If this isn't a dream and I didn't die, then I must have a second chance to fix the horrible mistakes that occurred in the past year.

Victor Dashkov, Natalie, Mason, Tasha, Dimitri…

Dimitri!

Setting Lissa gently on the bed I moved over to the window where I wouldn't be seen easily. There he was.

My comrade. We haven't fallen in love, hell, we haven't even met yet. But this was still my Dimitri and he was free from the memories of his strigoi days. From the torment and guilt that he was still holding on to.

If I am truly stuck here and have to relive my last year as a novice, I was not going to let Dimitri go through that horror again.

"Rose? What's wrong?" Lissa started to get up from the bed and walk over to the window.

"Stay where you are." My voice was direct and not as gentle as it was earlier. Stopping her from getting up. "There are guardians outside."

She looked scared and I knew that I had to protect her from Victor this time. I was not going to let Lissa be tortured for her magic in this crazy alternative timeline.

"Don't worry Liss, I'll take care of this. Stay here and don't move." I moved away from the window and pulled on some jeans and shoes. Remembering that it was Portland, Oregon, in the middle of the night I grabbed a jacket.

"Rose, you can't fight guardians." She tried to grab my arm as I walked passed.

"Do you trust me?" I waited for her nod, "Then let me deal with this. Don't worry."

I thought about what she said and technically I was a guardian. I knew how to fight the best of the best and win, at least some times. But would I still have the same strength that I have 10 months from now?

I made a quick stop in the bathroom and lifted my hair. No marks. As I was getting dressed I did notice that my abs were still hard so I can only hope the same holds true for strength and endurance in everything.

I knew that I could trust Dimitri even if we haven't met yet. He would listen to what I have to say before attacking, just like last time, if only I would have given him the opportunity.

Stepping into the cold of the night, I scanned the perimeter and saw six other guardians besides Dimitri. I remembered from the night we returned that there were ten total, so the other three must be on the backside of the building.

I slipped into my formal pose, legs shoulder width apart, hands behind my back, face forward, guardian mask in place and waited.

I stood there for 10 minutes before Dimitri stepped out from his place in the shadows.

"Novice Hathaway," his sexy Russian accent came through. "My name is Dimitri Belikov, I've come to take you and the Princess back to St. Vladimir's Academy."

He was regarding me carefully. Unsure how to approach me. His body was tense as if preparing for a fight- fair considering last time I did try and kick mine and Lissa's way out.

"Guardian Belikov," I said just as calmly. Nodding my head, "Why did the Academy send you?"

I knew the answer but I couldn't act like it, not yet anyway.

"I am the Princess's sanctioned guardian."

"So, tell me Guardian Belikov. Do your loyalties lie with Lissa or with the Academy?" I still couldn't raise my eyebrow but I did have a good hard stare.

Dimitri and I could alway communicate without saying too much. We just knew and understood each other more than anyone else ever could. It came in handy when we were at the Academy but of course I have yet to form the same rapport with this Dimitri. But as his eyes connected with mine I knew he understood what I needed to hear.

"My loyalty is with the Princess." He finally said. His eyes were apprising me in what I recognized as shock.

"And if the Princess told you, that she did not feel safe at the Academy," I looked around to all the guardians still hiding in the shadows, "would you force her to go. Or would you tell these guardians that the Princess has now been found and they can go back to Kirova?"

There it was. The eyebrow raise.

"You and the Princess are both underage."

"But as you said, Lissa is indeed a Princess. She does not fall under the normal status of underage children. When her parents and brother died, Lissa became the head of the Dragomir line and therforth able to take control of her life. Including, but not limited to, leaving the Academy, should she choose to do so."

I have only seen Dimitri stunted into silence once before and man was it a sight! I wanted to laugh but I knew that would get me nowhere. Instead I stayed silent as he processed what I said.

"That may be true," he started slowly. "It still stands that you are underage. You must return to the Academy."

Damn. I didn't think of that.

"You may be correct. I will initially have to go back to the Academy but I can assure you that Kirova will dismiss me. With no Lissa, a simple female dhampir can just vanish and no one will know or care."

Time stood still as Dimitri and I locked eyes. I was begging for him to listen to reason. We both knew that I was right and his eyes searched mine for any hint of trickery. Finally he gave me a nod and turned around.

I had no idea what he was going to say to get the others to leave and frankly I didn't care. As long as I could get Dimitri and Lissa alone, I could handle whatever comes next. I also wasn't sure what their reactions were going to be to my news.

Hell, I still wasn't sure if I would tell them the whole truth. Some of the things I know are crown secrets. While I never got along with the, now alive again and current queen, since she was murdered, I have learned to understand her actions better.

Approximately 30 minutes later Dimitri came back and I saw the guardians leave their posts. Finally relaxing my formal pose, I turned to lead him into the small house, past Jeremy who was sitting there with his head in his hands, staring at his calculus book.

"Rose? Who is this?" He looked startled to see the 6'7" Russian, and I couldn't blame him. Lissa and I never brought anyone back to the house we all shared.

"Hey, Jeremy, this is Dimitri." I gestured to him. "Dimitri, Jeremy. Actually do you think you can head over to Monica's for the night? We have someone else stopping by soon and it's not going to be pretty. I don't want to disturb your studying."

"What? Oh, sure.. I need a break anyway." Another oddity as we have never asked for the house before, whereas Jeremy gets it once every other week, for who knows what.

As soon as he left the room, Dimitri raised his eyebrow.

"Feeder." Was all I said. I continued to lead him into the room that Lissa and I shared.

She was pacing the room between the two beds with her brows furrowed and thumb between her lips. Lissa jumped when she saw us enter the room.

"Rose," her eyes were darting between me and Dimitri. "Who is this?"

"Princess Vasilisa Dragomir, my name is Dimitri Belikov. I am your new guardian." Somehow, Dimitri managed to look graceful in this small cramped room. I don't know how he contorts his body like that and manage to look like a fucking dancer.

"Comrade, can you call a feeder for Lissa? She hasn't fed in a couple days." He barely had time to shoot me a look for the Comrade comment when I said the second sentence and his phone was out in a flash.

Still the same, I smiled.

"I know that both of you want answers but the truth is, I'm still trying to figure them out myself." I say once Dimitri ends the call, "Liss, you need to feed to get more energy and Comrade if you give me up until the time the feeder gets here then I can do my best to explain what I know."

They both looked at me with a variety of different emotions. As hard as he tries, Dimitri can't hide all of his feelings behind his mask, although I do have the advantage of knowing him pretty well. Lissa, meanwhile, has no poker face plus I could also feel her through the bond.

It took a little over an hour for the feeder to arrive at the little house where we rented a room in Portland. During that time Lissa introduced herself to Dimitri and tried to get to know her new guardian, like only she could. I tuned them out as best as I could and started to write in one of Lissa's notebooks.

I tried to remember all of the important details these past 10 months, not even a year, has brought. Meeting Christian and Mia. Learning about Anna and Vladimir, Ms. Karp, Adrian, Oksana and Mark, Avery and her brother and guardian and Robert. The attacks on the Badica's, Drozdov's, and the Academy. Mason's death, Dimitri turning strigoi, Jill, killing Victor, and being framed for Queen Tatiana's murder by Tasha.

As I wrote down everything I could remember, I tried to put them into a timeline as best as I could, with as many dates I could remember.

The sound of Lissa getting up from her bed startled me, "The feeder is here. Guardian Belikov went to go get them."

"Okay, I'll meet you guys in the kitchen."

Lissa was giving me a curious look as she left the room and I didn't blame her. I must have done a complete 180 from the time we went to bed to when we woke up from the nightmare. But Lissa, like always, still put her full trust and faith into me.

I heard the front door open and close, several greetings a few minutes later the door was opening again.

It's now or never.