Halloween
"No."
"Oh, come on, Ziva! I'm dressed up, Ada's dressed up, it's all up to you." Abby held out the dress cover.
"I have told you, I am not wearing it." She shook her head. Her daughter cooed softly and she looked down, smiling at the grey costume. Bert sat next to her as she lay on the bed, blowing bubbles through her lips. "It is a good likeness." She chuckled and signed, slightly clumsily. Abby corrected her errors with a smile.
"She looks beautiful. More beautiful than Bert ever has. Not that she doesn't look beautiful normally, but…"
"I know what you mean, Abby."
"You'll look beautiful too."
"The answer is still no." She shook her head.
"Aw, c'mon! I dressed like you!" Abby pouted. "It's only fair that you dress like me."
"I will not feel comfortable."
"Ada-Bert will be lonely without Ziva-Abby." She grinned.
"The skirt is too short."
"Tony will like it."
"Tony likes me in my cargo pants." Ziva shook her head as the outfit, more or less identical to Abby's usual attire, although slightly more revealing, was removed from the dress cover and laid out on the bed. They were at her and Tony's, whilst the boys were at McGee's.
"Tony likes you in whatever you wear, and I am sure that that will include a very short skirt. No, I am positive that will include a very short skirt."
"Abby." Ziva cautioned.
"You can't tell me that Tony wouldn't want to see you in this? Or not in this?" She waggled her eyebrows.
"Why is it that everyone is so obsessed with our sex life?!"
"Because it's you! And Tony! And you and Tony! So, how is the sex life by the way?"
"It is fine."
"'Cause I'm sure that Gibbs won't mind looking after the twins tonight, after the party, if you two want to, y'know…"
"Abby!"
"What?!" She held her hands up in defence. "Come on, when was the last time you…?"
She scoffed. "I am not dignifying that question with an answer, Abby."
"Why? It's not like you've ever been particularly private about it before."
"Abby, I am not going to discuss the last time I had sex with my husband in front of my daughter."
"She can't hear."
A quiet, sad expression passed briefly over Ziva's face, gone in an instant. "I know. But it is still not right. She is a baby."
"I'm sure your parents discussed sex in front of you before you were old enough to remember." Ziva raised her eyebrows. "Okay, so maybe not, because I can't imagine your father discussing sex but…"
"Abby, if your aim is to make me feel the most uncomfortable I have ever felt, you are succeeding. Please stop talking about my father."
"Only if you tell me what I want to know."
"Will it make you shut up?"
"Depends."
"On?"
"How many details I get." She grinned and Ziva shook her head.
"You are as bad as Tony. Possibly worse." She looked at her friends pleading eyes. "If you must know, it was last night and it was…" She paused, considering her choice in words. "Perfect. Romantic. Passionate. Happy now?"
"No, but that's all I'm gonna get, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"You only wanted to dress my son up like this so you could dress as Luke Skywalker, Probie-wan Kenobi."
"No, I dressed him like this because it's cute and it's sure to win the costume contest."
"He's dressed as a teddy bear."
"He's an Ewok!" McGee cried for what felt like the fortieth time.
"Teddy bear."
"Okay, but at least he's Ziva's kind of teddy bear. He's carrying a spear."
"Very true." Tony laughed, shrugging on a leather jacket and picking up his little Ewok. "I do think I make a good Han Solo, though. Hey, I bet Ziva would make a great Leia."
"I'd rather not think about it, Tony." McGee rolled his eyes and donned his robe.
"Why not? I think it's a great image."
"Because she's your wife! And she's a mother and she's Ziva!"
"You don't think Ziva's hot?"
"I did. Before you and she, y'know. And then, y'know. And now she's your wife, it's wrong on so many levels. And she's like a sister. And what with Ada and Bod and all, it's just…plus, she…kinda…scares me."
"Yeah, she scares me too, but that's part of the fun of it." Tony shook his head. "Are we ready to go, little man?"
"Tony, you're forgetting your gun."
"It's called a blaster, McGee." He sighed. "Hey, how come I don't get Chewie?"
"I thought you weren't a fan of Star Wars?"
"No, but I am a fan of hot girls." He chuckled. "Carrie Fisher, Natalie Portman. I'd watch a Sci-fi movie in a room full of nerds for that." He shrugged and McGee snorted. "I was like, 9, McGee, when the first film came out. What kid didn't want to fly away to the stars?" He sighed and McGee nodded in agreement with the rhetorical question.
"I know. Come on, let's go." The junior agent patted Tony's shoulder. He knew what Tony was talking about. He had wanted to fly away to the stars and never come back when he was younger too.
"Raawwwwrrrrrgghh!" Tony pulled Bod out of his car seat, and held him, chortling, above his head. "We better win this thing, McGeek, 'cause otherwise I'm gonna have a reputation to rebuild." They walked up to the NCIS building, following the trail of pumpkins.
"Have you seen how cute your son is? The judges will love him. The girls aren't going to be able to do better than us." McGee shrugged. "We've got it in the bag."
"I'm worried about what Abby will have done to Ziva and my baby girl. I mean, it's Abby. For all I know she's dyed their hair black and covered them in tattoos."
"Do you really think that Ziva would have let her?" McGee laughed.
"Good point." Tony nodded and spotted Palmer. "Hey, the autopsy gremlin dressed like a gremlin!"
"I thought you would find it funny, Tony." He grinned proudly and looked down at his costume.
"I do! Great film, great film." He laughed. "What happened? Did Ducky feed you after midnight?" Tony started pulling on the gremlin ear attached to Palmer's head. "This is really convincing. You sure this isn't real?"
"I'm sure, Tony. Hey, you're costumes are great by the way. Bod's so adorable. You are." He tapped the child's nose.
"Hey, have Ziva and Abby arrived with Ada yet?"
"No, not yet. Sorry. They'll be here soon."
"Yeah, Abby won't want to miss this." McGee nodded. Palmer flicked a wave behind him as he turned and left the building and they made their way up to the bullpen. The room was dimly lit and decorations hung everywhere. Ichabod squealed with delight as they walked through the crowds of agents all dressed in curious costumes. Tony scanned the room, looking for his wife, or at least a recognisable face. He spotted Gibbs talking to Ducky and Jenny in the corner and they made their way over. Gibbs was dressed in what was probably the suit he wore to at least one of his weddings; Jenny wore a red dress with devil horns and was armed with a trident. Ducky was dressed as Illya Kuryakin.
Tony's jaw dropped as he caught sight of her. Never had he seen Ziva wear something so…Abby. She had her hair straightened and in Abby-style pigtails, and wore a tight black shirt with a skull and crossbones motif on it. The tartan skirt barely scraped mid thigh – he was certain it was shorter than most things he saw Abby wearing. Her platforms were a patent-leather affair with buckles that reached just above the ankle. White socks were pulled up to her knees. She held a lab coat hooked over her finger and draped over her back. She smirked when she saw him gaping, the dark red lips parting slightly to reveal her white teeth. He gulped slightly, very glad that Gibbs was holding Bod. Abby followed close behind her with Ada, dressed as Burt the Hippo, in her arms. She was wearing a woollen jumper and cargo pants, her hair handing in waves over her shoulders and her face more or less clean of makeup. They walked over, grinning as eyes followed them.
"You armed, Abs?" Gibbs asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Duh! I'm dressed as Ziva. I have 3 knives and 2 guns."
"Loaded?" Ziva shook her head from behind Abby as she nodded. Gibbs just chuckled and shook his head.
"It was a very creative idea." Jenny said, taking Ada.
"Yeah, but, y'know, our idea was creative too!" McGee squeaked, protesting against the idea that the girls could have beaten him.
"Dude, Abby managed to get Ziva into a short skirt! No matter how cool we look, or how cute Bod looks, they're gonna win. It's my wife in a short skirt!" Tony hissed into McGee's ear, finally able to break free of his dumbstruck stance. He walked over to Ziva and brushed her hair out of the way to display the spiderweb tattoo. "So, er, is this the only tattoo you have?" He gulped as a wicked glint passed through her eyes.
"I am dressed as Abby, Tony. I have all of the tattoos that Abby has." She smirked as he pressed his lips to it. "Later, Tony. We have an audience."
"Who cares…?"
"I do." She pulled away and raised her eyebrows at him before reaching up to whisper in his ear. "There will be time for you to admire the tattoos later, when we are alone."
"But Ada and Bod…"
"Are going to be staying with Abby tonight. She suggested that we might like a little time to ourselves, just us, not having to worry about baby monitors. Or clothes." Her lips whispered by his ear, gently tickling with each word she spoke.
"I like the sound of that." He grinned before feeling her jaw tighten by his ear.
"Tony, why is my son dressed as a teddy bear?"
"Oh, uh, well, um, I, uh, I could ask why my daughter is dressed as a hippo…but I'm not going to because you look angry. Um, so here's the thing, he's not a teddy bear, he's an Ewok."
"An Ewok?"
"Uh, yeah, it's this, uh, thing, from, uh, McGee, a little help here?"
"Ewoks are bears that live in the forests of Endor. It's a Star Wars thing." McGee smiled sheepishly.
"Star Wars? That is that thing with the colourful swords?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Well, lightsabres, yeah." McGee said.
"So why are you not dressed as teddy bears, then?"
"Ewoks, and because there are characters other than Ewoks. I'm Luke Skywalker, Tony's Han Solo."
"My son is still dressed as a teddy bear, McGee."
"Ah, yeah, but he's a teddy bear with a spear, look!" Tony held the little spear out