Chapter One

Elena shifted in the window seat of her room, pen gripped tightly between her fingers as she scribbled in the diary her mom gave her. Her only coping method, her one tether to sanity.

'Dear diary, today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say "I'm fine, thank you." "Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through. I can't linger in the past, I can't continue living this way. My nights are filled with nightmares of my parents dying, and my days are spent hoping to catch a glance of the mystery man from that night. I'm starting to lose hope. How am I supposed to move on from the night that changed everything when I still have so many questions?'

She set down the pen and closed the journal, letting out a sigh before sliding onto her feet and stretching languorously. She looked around the safe haven that was her room one last time before she had to face the rest of the world in a way she hadn't since her parents' funeral. The thought of leaving the house that shielded her and entering the real world where other people existed was almost too much, but she was going to be fine. She was going to be just fine. The door clicked gently behind her as she forced herself to leave and the thumping of her feet down the stairs was so familiar she nearly cried. It was almost like every first day of school that had come before, but nothing would ever be the same again. Her mom wouldn't be waiting for her in the kitchen with a mug of coffee and a sack lunch. Her dad wouldn't be dropping her off on his way to work with Jeremy happily chattering in the background about the newest video game he'd gotten. Everything had changed and yet… at the same time nothing had. The world continued turning despite the gaping hole in Elena's life, and therefore she had no choice but to keep going too. With one last deep breath at the bottom of the stairs, she fixed a smile on her face and walked into the kitchen. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she walked past her Aunt Jenna, who seemed to be almost having a breakdown, and toward the coffee maker to pour herself a cup.

"Toast! I can make toast!"

Elena giggled, shaking her head at the woman that was more like her sister than her aunt, the lack of an age gap certainly not helping. Nor Jenna's lack of parenting experience, which was why the redhead was so frazzled. "It's all about the coffee, Aunt Jenna."

"Is there coffee?" Jeremy questioned as he came into the room, dressed in the same dark hoodie and jeans combination that he had taken to wearing daily post funeral. She frowned at the sight of his eyes surrounded by dark shadows that told her he still wasn't sleeping and would definitely need said coffee to actually get through school without falling asleep in any classes. If he went to any classes that is. So, when he snatched the coffee mug from her grasp she let him with only a small grimace, knowing he needed it more than she did, and simply turned to make herself another cup.

"Your first day of school and I'm totally unprepared. Lunch money?"

Elena couldn't hide her amusement at Jenna's franticness and, shaking her head as she finally took her first sip of caffeine, grinned into her mug. "I'm good."

"Anything else? A number two pencil? What am I missing?"

"Don't you have a big presentation today?"

Jenna nodded. "I'm meeting with my thesis advisor at… now. Crap!" She began to scramble to collect her things on the kitchen island, eyes blown wide in panic.

"Then go, we'll be fine." Elena waved her off and watched Jenna leave before turning to her ever sulking brother, who was now leaning glumly on the counter as he watched the news over her shoulder and sipped from his stolen cup of coffee. "You okay?" He snorted in annoyance and slammed the cup down, shouldering past his sister roughly as he rolled his eyes.

"Don't start." She watched him go with a frown but didn't try to say anything else, knowing it would just make things worse. But she missed her little brother. The one that was all smiles and energy and looked up to their dad. The one who drew in bright colors rather than blacks and greys. She didn't know who this person was or why he seemed to hate her so much, but it was breaking her. Well, part of that wasn't true. She knew why he hated her. He blamed her for their parents' death, and she couldn't fault him for it. She was the reason they were dead, and he would never be able to hate her for it as much as she hated herself. Elena grimaced and physically shook herself from the dark path her mind had gone down (one that was dangerous and had led her to some scary places in the past), before glancing to the left at the clock on the microwave. When she saw how late it was she panicked a little. Bonnie would be there any minute, in fact she might already be there and Elena might be keeping her waiting. Ignoring the fact that her coffee was still way too hot to do so, Elena tossed it back, grimacing slightly as it scalded the roof of her mouth and tongue.

Setting the mug in the sink and promising herself she'd wash it later, she snatched her bag from where it sat by the front door and darted outside, relief flowing through her when she realized she hadn't kept Bonnie waiting. She settled down on the curb to wait, pulling out her phone to waste some time.

"So Grams is telling me I'm psychic. Our ancestors were from Salem, witches and all that, I know, crazy, but she's going on and on about it, and I'm like, put this woman in a home already! But then I started thinking, I predicted Obama and I predicted Heath Ledger, and I still think Florida will break off and turn into little resort islands...Elena! Back in the car." Elena was startled out of her thoughts by the sudden snap of her name, turning back to face her best friend with a sad smile on her face.

"I did it again, didn't I? I-I'm sorry, Bonnie. You were telling me that…?"

"I'm psychic now."

"Right. Okay, then predict something. About me." Elena peered over at Bonnie with a grin, hair draped prettily over her shoulders as she waited.

"I see…" Bonnie's attempt at predicting the future was interrupted by the sudden slamming sound of a crow flying head first into the windshield of the car. Bonnie slammed on the brakes as Elena's breath caught in her throat and her seatbelt locked against her chest, mind whirling with memories that she frantically shoved down. Bonnie's babbled apologies were what truly brought her back to the present, shoulders heaving as she finally managed to exhale.

"It's okay, I'm fine."

"It was like a bird or something. It came out of nowhere."

"Really," Elena assured gently, smiling at her best friend who was quickly spiralling into a pool of guilty rambling. "I can't be freaked out by cars for the rest of my life." Bonnie's green eyes peered into Elena's chocolate one's, searching to see if she was telling the truth. She must have seen the determination in her friend's eyes, because a moment later she gave her a grin.

"I predict this year is going to be kick ass. And I predict all the sad and dark times are over and you are going to be beyond happy." Neither girl noticed as they drove past the stop sign the crow perched ominously on top.

The hallways were packed with teenagers as Elena and Bonnie expertly maneuvered through the crowds to their lockers, the former's shoulders squared firmly. She could feel the eyes on her back as people turned to stare at her as she walked by. It felt like their unwanted sympathy was dripping down her neck and between her shoulders, forcing her to hold back a shudder. She didn't want their pity. She didn't want to be reminded of her parents' death everytime she looked in someone's eyes. She wanted to be more than the poor girl with the dead parents. She was a person outside of her trauma, she refused to let it define her.

"Major lack of male real estate. Look at the shower curtain on Kelly Beech. She looks like a hot — can I still say 'tranny mess'?"

Elena shook her head as she pulled her history book from her locker. Fidgeting with the strap of her bag and turning to face her best friend with a small smile. "No, that's over." Her attention was drawn over Bonnie's shoulder when she caught sight of a familiar letterman jacket and head of blonde hair.

"Ahh," sighed Bonnie. "Find a man, coin a phrase, it's a busy year." Elena wasn't listening, her gaze locked on the forlorn form of her ex-boyfriend, Matt Donovan. She waved to him hesitantly when he turned to go to class and caught sight of her. He froze as their eyes locked but didn't return the gesture, choosing to slam his locker instead before striding off. Elena sighed dejectedly and turned back to a now silent Bonnie, who'd witnessed the whole interaction. She was watching Elena with sad eyes, her smile small and attempting to be reassuring.

"He hates me."

"That's not hate. That's 'you dumped me, but I'm too cool to show it, but secretly I'm listening to Air Supply's greatest hits.'" Elena smiled genuinely, eyes and nose scrunching with amusement. Well, until she saw Caroline approaching. Her and the blonde had been friends for a long time and she loved the girl, really, but Caroline was, well, a lot.

"Elena, oh my god." The blonde haired, blue eyed girl hugged Elena tightly, the latter's arms being pinned to her sides from the force of it. "How are you? Oh, it's so good to see you." She turned to Bonnie, speaking as if their friend wasn't even there. "How is she? Is she good?" Annoyance bubbled up in her chest as Caroline spoke as if she were a child, or invisible. She hadn't even said hello and Elena was sure that the mysterious strength behind Caroline's hug had cracked a couple of her ribs.

"Caroline, I'm right here. And I'm fine, thank you." She said the words emphatically, grinning widely but not quite genuinely, and ignored the almost silent snort Bonnie let out.

"Really?" Caroline didn't sound convinced, her brows raised skeptically as she sent Bonnie a look.

"Yes, much better."

"Oh, you poor thing." Elena held back a sigh of annoyance as her friend hugged her once again. This interaction was practically an exact replica of every interaction she'd had since the night of the wreck and if it didn't stop soon… she might go insane, honestly.

She grimaced and patted Caroline on the back twice before pulling away. "Okay, Caroline."

"Oh! Okay! See you guys later?"

"Ok! Bye!" Bonnie chirped back before turning back to Elena with a quirked brow and a knowing smile.

"No comment." Elena sighed out, rolling her eyes and closing her locker with finality.

"I'm not going to say anything." Bonnie tapped Elena's arm when she spotted a new guy who was draped in a black leather jacket and walking in the opposite direction. All they could see was back. Bonnie's interest was obviously peaked, but all Elena could think of was a black haired, blue eyed man who'd worn a similar jacket. A man who hadn't left her thoughts since the night her parents died. A man who'd somehow dug deep into her psyche and had unnerved and excited her with his oddly accurate comments. So as Bonnie stared and whispered out 'predictions', Elena ruminated on her mystery man. It was odd to remember something of that night that was somehow untainted with grief.

"Hey, Jeremy! Good batch man!" Elena's eyes narrowed at the boy who'd called her brother's name suspicion, worry, and anger rising in her gut. Good batch? She knew her brother was using to cope with the pain, but was he dealing now too? She watched Jeremy enter the men's room with narrowed eyes and a determined set to her mouth.

"I'll be right back." Bonnie didn't respond, still too entranced with the new guy, as Elena pushed off her locker and shouldered her way into the men's room after her brother. She ignored the boy who shouted at her in outrage as she pushed past him angrily, slipping over to her brother and grabbing him by the face to peer into his eyes. "Great," she snapped and pushed his face away. "It's the first day of school and you're stoned." She began fumbling through his hoodie and jean pockets as he glared at her fiercely.

"No, I'm not!" He shouted annoyedly, huffing and trying to back away as Elena angrily searched him.

"Where is it?! Is it on you?!"

"Stop, alright?!" He pushed her hands away roughly and backed up, glare burning a hole through her with dark eyes. "You need to chill yourself, alright?!"

"Chill myself," Elena mimicked sarcastically, hands fisted and heart thudding in her chest. With her parents dead it was up to her to make sure Jeremy was okay, to make sure he succeeded in life, and she was failing after only a couple months. He and Jenna were all she had left, she couldn't fail him. "What is that, stoner talk? Dude, you are so cool." The sarcasm in her voice was thick and Jeremy's eyes narrowed further as she went right back to searching him, hands ruffling through his pockets roughly.

"Look, stop!" he pushed her away again a little too roughly before towering over her almost threateningly. "I don't have anything on me, are you crazy?!" Any semblance of cool that Elena had been able to maintain throughout this entire conversation flew out the door at that, her voice becoming near hysterical as panic and anger welled up in her chest and made her feel like she couldn't breathe.

"You haven't seen crazy, Jeremy! I gave you a summer pass, but I am done watching you destroy yourself." She ran her hands through her hair and huffed, holding back tears of both anger and sadness. "No, no, no, you know what? Go ahead. Keep it up. But just know that I am going to be there to ruin your buzz every time, you got it? Jeremy, I know who you are, and it's not this person. So don't be this person." Her shoulders were heaving with each breath and her eyes were tight in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. She'd already lost both of her parents, and now she was losing her brother to this stranger he was becoming. Part of her wanted to give up, to free herself of this constant emotional turmoil he was putting her through. But the rest of her knew she couldn't, that if she did she'd hate herself even more for abandoning her kid brother in his time of need. She loved him, so much, and she'd put herself through this for the rest of her life if it meant he would be safe and loved.

He didn't see it that way, she knew that, but it still hurt when his glare darkened and his voice cut like a blade. "I don't need this." He snapped, shouldering past her and out the door without looking back. Elena sighed and leaned against the sink with trembling hands, looking at herself in the mirror for just a minute. She forced her feelings down deep and made sure her face betrayed nothing of what had just occurred. After composing herself and taking a deep breath, she followed her brother out of the bathroom with straight shoulders and her head held high. Her composure was her battle armor, and she refused to let it falter where the pitiers could see. She let out an oof when she ran into a solid chest, stumbling backwards a few steps.

"Uh, pardon me." She looked up at him and her eyes blew wide. If things were different she would've been charmed instantly. He was handsome, with quiffed brown hair and deep green eyes, and she was sure his jawline could cut. But even staring up at him with minimal space between them she couldn't help but long for icy eyes. His voice was uncertain and his brows furrowed. "Um...is this the men's room?"

"Yes! Um, I was just, Um—I was just—It's a long story..." She gave up at attempting to explain, huffing out an exasperated sigh. She went to step around him at the same instant he went to move out of her way, both moving in the same direction like something out of a 90s romcom. It should've been romantic and so Elena was frustrated with herself. She felt nothing for this handsome new guy- and she should, she really should, but she didn't. He chuckled and smiled with closed lips before stepping out of the way again, this time successfully, and gestured for her to go first in a gentlemanly fashion. She smiled back politely and stepped past him, readjusting the strap of her bag. "Thank you." He nodded in response and entered the bathroom silently, the door swinging closed with a click behind him as Elena walked to her first class of the year.

History with Tanner was as boring as ever and dragged on for ages. The football coach had a superiority complex and did everything in his power to come off as all knowing. It was annoying and most of the students that had him just tuned him out and entertained themselves. Elena was certainly following their lead, turning to smile at Bonnie as the girl rolled her eyes annoyedly at their teacher's constant attitude and patronization.

The two had long ago developed a system of silent communication to be utilized during classes, one they developed in like the seventh grade. They'd had Tanner last year for Geography and the two had used it to communicate quite a lot and were well aware that they most likely would this year too, but sometimes the system wasn't quite enough and fell short of texting, so she wasn't surprised when Bonnie messaged her.

"Once our home state of Virginia joined the confederacy in 1861, it created a tremendous amount of tension within the state. People in Virginia's northwest region had different ideals than those from the traditional deep south. Then Virginia divided in 1863 with the northwest region joining the union." Tanner's voice seemed to fade into the background as her phone vibrated twice, his words becoming an indecipherable monotone buzzing.

'HAWT-E STARING YOU'

She laughed and rolled her eyes, knowing already that she meant the new guy. She'd seen him watching her in her peripheral vision whenever she'd turned to roll her eyes at Bonnie when Tanner said something particularly ridiculous. She turned to look at her best friend once more and rolled her eyes exaggeratedly as she stuck out her tongue teasingly, causing Bonnie's eyebrows to raise in curiosity. Elena knew that Stefan would normally totally be her type, but she couldn't bring herself to muster an interest, not with her mystery man still consuming her thoughts. Not that she could ever tell Bonnie that, she wouldn't understand. She didn't even know about Mystery Guy, Elena had never told her. Firstly because it had been far from the most important thing to happen that night, and then because she didn't want to. The interaction had made her feel strange, Mystery Guy had made her feel strange in a way that both scared and exhilarated her. So she kept it to herself, where no one's cynicism or judgement could tarnish it.

When the bell rang in their final class Elena was the first out of her chair and the first out the door, having smoothly avoided Bonnie the whole day in a futile attempt to not explain her lack of interest in the new guy. She practically ran from the building and all the way to the cemetery, silently thanking years of cheer for keeping her in shape as she went., and only slowed when she crossed onto grave speckled grass. Her parents weren't buried far from the entrance and the sight of their headstone brought up mixed emotions as she kneeled in front of it.

"Hi Mom, hi Dad." She whispered, lovingly caressing their names on the joint tombstone, tracing the letters so carefully engraved in the granite before settling against it and pulling out her diary from her bag. She felt closest to her parents there, on the moist grass and reclined against their headstone. The green diary with the letter E on the front was a gift from her Mom since Elena had always loved to write, she and her mom used to talk about Elena being an author or a journalist. It only seemed right to record her life in it somewhere as close to her mom as was possible.

'Dear diary, I made it through the day. I must have said, "I'm fine, thanks," at least thirty-seven times. And I didn't mean it once. But no one noticed. When someone asks, "How are you?" They really don't want an answer.'

She was disturbed from the trance she enters when writing by the loud squawk of a crow that was perched in the grass a mere few feet from her. "Okay," she drew out, pen tapping nervously on the edge of her diary. "Hi bird. That's not creepy or anything." The bird didn't startle and fly away at the sound of her voice like she'd expected, rather it continued peering at her intently, almost intelligently. "Shoo!" She leapt forward and flapped her hand at the bird, causing it to fly off. "That's what I thought." She stated smugly just before a fog started pouring into the cemetery mysteriously, seemingly impossibly, and the crow settled in front of her once more. She peered around nervously, her instincts starting to scream at her that she was in real danger, and that's when she spotted it. The dark shadow of a man in the fog loomed ahead of her, and it was the final straw. She snatched up her bag and leapt to her feet, sprinting off through the woods with her heart pounding in her chest and her chest heaving as she ran.

She was pretty deep amongst the trees when her ankle rolled and she hit the ground hard, a yelp escaping from her lips at the harsh impact. She scrambled to her feet, panic still coursing through her veins, and went to run again, only to stop short at the sight of the new guy standing in front of her with furrowed brows. Was he the shadow she'd seen? Her breathing was still uneven as she stared at him, torn between hearing his explanation and dashing off again.

"Are you okay?" Well, he sounded genuinely concerned, but still. She pushed her hair from her face and squared her shoulders in a show of faux confidence.

"Were you following me?" She grounded out with narrowed eyes and clenched fists, her one foot behind her in case she needed to turn and run quickly. Just because he went to her school didn't mean he wasn't a serial killer.

"No, I-a, uh, I-a just — I saw you fall." He was obviously uncomfortable, shifting on his feet and not really wanting to meet her eyes, which only made her guard raise even higher.

"Uh-huh," she started suspiciously, "and you just happened to be hanging out in a cemetery." She raised her brow challengingly, still poised to flee at a moment's notice and clutching the strap of her bag so tightly her knuckles were turning white.

"I'm visiting, I have family here." Mortification filled her chest at his words, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. Of course he wasn't following her, why would he be following her? She never used to be this paranoid, but the death of her parents had changed her.

Her cheeks flushed as she began to ramble in embarrassment, horror pulsing through her veins at her extreme lack of tact. "Oh. Wow. Tactless. I'm sorry. It's the fog, It's making me foggy. And then back there, there was this - this bird, and it was all very Hitchcock for a second. That is the bird movie, right, the Hitchcock?" She cut herself off and shook her head, taking a deep breath and then forced on a smile. "...I'm Elena." She introduced herself, realizing they'd never gotten around to it at the school. After her horribly embarrassing display of babbling, she realised it might come off like she was flirting. It wasn't her intention, Mystery Guy still stuck in her head plus, officially meeting in a cemetery wasn't exactly a meet-cute. But she knew that's probably what he assumed, she would have if the situation were reversed. Especially between the awkward rambling and flushed cheeks.

"I'm Stefan." He smiled and took a step closer.

"I know," she laughed, rolling her eyes and shuffling back a few inches. "We have History together."

"And English, and French." He quipped, a smirk on his face and amusement twinkling in his green eyes.

"Right," she dragged out, shifting on her feet awkwardly. She had to resist the urge to dart backwards when he reached out, pulling a leaf from her hair. His hand was large, with a gaudy blue and silver ring adorning it. She gave him a small smile and took a step backwards to put some space between them, never having even noticed when he'd gotten so close. "Thanks… nice ring." He startled at her comment and held his hand up to peer at the aforementioned ring, eyes scrunching in a curious emotion.

"Oh. Um, It's a family ring, yeah. I'm kinda stuck with it. It's weird, huh?"

She sighed internally at that. She'd gotten annoyed when he'd presumptively invaded her personal space, but that didn't mean she should've been rude. She was raised better than that. "No, no. It's just, I mean, there are rings and then there's that." She gestured at his hand before letting out an awkward laugh. Yeah, still rude Elena. Stefan inhaled deeply, oddly, before his brows furrowed further in concern.

"Did you hurt yourself?"

"Hm?" She furrowed her brows and made a questioning noise.

"Did you hurt yourself?'

"Oh, uh, I don't know." She'd been too distracted by stumbling into a man in the woods after fleeing from the Hitchcock scene she'd ended up in at the cemetery to really consider it. But now that she thought about it, her leg was stinging. She placed a foot on a nearby felled log and pulled up her jean pant leg to reveal a gushing, but still mostly superficial, wound. "Oh, would you look at that!" She laughed, lightly pushing at the skin around it. "That is not pretty." The leaves beneath his feet rustled as Stefan suddenly spun violently away from her. The sound caused her to peer at his back over her shoulder, concern showing on her face. "Are you okay?"

"You should go and take care of that." His tone was short, his words clipped, and his shoulders were so tense you would've thought he was trying to keep himself from decking her in the face.

She turned back to her leg to roll her pants down, putting her foot back on the ground. It stung but it wasn't too bad. However, she wasn't exactly comfortable in this situation, so she'd take the excuse and go with it. "It's really nothing, but you're probably right." She turned to face him with a polite excuse and goodbye on her lips, but when she did he was gone. Her face scrunched in confusion as she peered around in search of him but he'd left no trace behind that he'd ever even been there.