I don't think I'll ever get used to not sleeping. I always thought I would miss it, but I don't. All sleep ever did was keep me from Edward and subject me to horribly vivid nightmares. Now, I get to spend my nights in the arms of my Edward, exploring, learning, loving. But, however much I may enjoy these extra hours with my husband- that word still sends a tingle of excitement through me despite how violently I used to be opposed to it- the sensation of never truly resting is still a strange one as I watch the pinky sunrise fill my home spectacularly.
In those long, and hard to remember, days before Edward, I'd never thought I'd come to love Forks much less miss it. But now, as we finish packing up the few boxes that aren't already stuffed to the brim with expensive, luxurious items, I'm filled with melancholy. I'll miss our beautiful cottage- the best birthday gift I've ever received- as well as Edward and I's meadow. I'll miss the green Olympic forest that has become as much my home as our cottage and the main house. I'll miss the house where I met my family, my beloved Cullens. The piano that Edward first played my lullaby on, his bedroom where we danced for the first time. The kitchen where Esme would work so hard to cook meals for me when I could still eat, the field where I first watched the Cullens play baseball and where I joined in on a game for the first time. I lived my last moments as a human here, I met and married the love of my life here, I discovered and became who I was meant to be in this little town. Renesmee was born here.
My daughter's soft breathing and fluttering heartbeat fills our home as she sleeps peacefully in her room. The sound is soothing and I focus on it as I speed around the room too fast for a human to see, placing our final items in boxes and zipping up my suitcase that Edward is quick to begin pulling to the car. We know we'll want to return here some day, Forks forever holding a special place in our un-beating hearts, so we aren't taking the furniture, opting instead to cover it in dust sheets. It looks odd. The shelves are empty of our books and the many photos I've taken of my family, the fridge door bare of Nessie's drawings from the first few months of her life. All our memories are packed away and it leaves the cottage feeling cold, empty. This isn't helped by the stark sheets that covers the overstuffed furniture decorating the sitting room and hides any sensation of homey warmth.
I'm startled from my thoughts by Edward's hand on my shoulder, three boxes balancing with ease in his other one. "Are you alright, love?" I nod and smile, pulling his hand up to cradle my cheek before pressing a gentle kiss to his palm. The feeling of us being the same temperature still brings a smile to my face. Gold meets gold as I look up into his eyes, grinning at the love I see there.
"I'm going to miss it here, that's all." He frowns, pulling me tight into his chest and setting down the boxes he's holding so he can grip me tightly.
"It's not forever. We'll come back someday."
"I know. And while Forks will always be special to me because it's where I found you, my home is with our family, no matter where we go." His frown turns into a smile as he leans down and gives me a soft kiss, his teeth gently nipping my lower lip before he pulls away. He picks the boxes back up and carries them out the door to place them in the small trunk of his shiny Volvo and I carry on packing. I finish taping up the final four boxes in less than a second and move to Renesmee's door, hesitating. I hate to take my daughter from her grandfather, the thought of leaving Charlie ripping my still heart from my chest, but our new home in Port Orford, Oregon is waiting.
Port Orford is even smaller than Forks, lacking a single fast food chain restaurant or even a traffic light, but it is full of natural forest and often covered in sun obscuring clouds- two things vital to vegetarian, non-nomadic vampires. We'll be the talk of the town at first without a doubt, but survival instinct will quickly overtake morbid fascination and we'll be left alone. We thought about moving to Alaska, joining our cousins in Denali so Edward and I could stay home with Renesmee, but so many vampires in one town for a long period of time was bound to draw attention, not to mention the catastrophic effect it would have on the wildlife population. So, Carlisle and Alice picked out Port Orford and, with Carlisle's astounding resume, the local hospital was quick to bring him on board.
Nessie, while continuing to grow way too fast, still appears too young to join us in high school, and we aren't going to send her to an elementary school by herself. Not to mention that her still impossible growth rate would definitely draw unwanted attention. So, Esme is going to continue to homeschool our family's miracle and keep her out of the public's eye until she is fully grown and able to join in on our high school act. It's going to be hard to leave my daughter to go back to school once again, but I'm also excited to join the family charade for the first time, to play teenage sweethearts with my Edward and not be the odd man out as the only human. I am a Cullen now, in every way possible. All these thoughts fly through my head in the span of time it takes me to unnecessarily inhale twice.
I shake from my rumination and knock gently on Nessie's door before swinging it open, smiling at the sight of her coppery brown curls spread across her pillows. I settle delicately on the edge of her bed and push the hair from her beautiful face gently, watching as her chocolate eyes that Edward loves so much flutter open.
"Mommy? Is it time to go?"
"It is. Are you hungry? Thirsty?" Nessie seems to have the best of both worlds and loves a breakfast of eggs and blood. My daughter sits up, a little too quickly to be human, and smiles brilliantly as she wraps me in a tight hug.
"Did Daddy make eggs?"
"I'm making them now, Ness." Edward chimes in at a normal volume from the kitchen.
"Let's get you dressed and then you can go eat. Did you pick your outfit out last night?"
"Yes!" She cheers, leaping out of bed and dancing her way to the articles of clothing she has laid out on the chaise beneath her window. "Aunt Alice helped me pick it out."
"Of course she did," I laugh, shaking my head in amusement as I join her at the chaise. It was a simple pair of leggings and a t-shirt, but none of Nessie's clothes are plain. Both articles of clothing are without a doubt designer and sure to look adorable on her. I'm thankful they're simple and comfy rather than a dress like I was worried they would choose. Nessie is half human and young, she needs to be comfortable for long road trips. Although, to be fair, at the speed we drive the trip will be much shorter than it would be if we obeyed the speed limits. "Get dressed Renesmee, and make sure you haven't forgotten anything under your bed or in your closet. After you check over your room Daddy'll have your breakfast ready, okay?"
"Okay!" She chirps and I give her a kiss on the forehead before joining Edward in the kitchen. He's standing over the stove, the last two eggs in the house scrambling in a pan that isn't coming with us to Oregon. It's weird to me that we're leaving behind so many things in the move, but Edward assures me that we have more than enough money to replace it and we want the cottage moderately functional for when we come visit Charlie seeing how we wouldn't be able to be seen about town or visiting my dad. I lean into his side and he peers down at me as he plates the foul smelling eggs. His eyes are still gold but on the darker side, now a deep amber that almost borders on brown. We're both going to have to hunt today before we hit the road.
"Good morning, Daddy!"
"Good morning, Nessie!" Edward coos back, gently setting the plate in front of her as she settles at the table before handing her a fork. She blurs as she eats, speeding through her breakfast in seeming excitement to get started with their day.
"Hey, hey." I grab her hand on a downswing and ruffle her curls with a chuckle. "Slow down, munchkin. No one's going to take it from you." She blushes and nods, shovelling another bite into her mouth, albeit at a much slower speed, and mumbles a sorry around the bite of eggs. Edward and I laugh, him leaning his elbows against the kitchen counter and I moving to scoop up the last of the boxes I'd taped up not too long ago. I send him a flirty wink as I stride out the door, blurring over to the Volvo we'd driven out to our little home before placing the boxes in the trunk. The slam as it closes seems unnecessarily final and I can't help the melancholy that rises back up without Edward or Nessie to distract me. I stand there for what feels like hours, but I know is actually only seconds, before I return to the cottage, fixing a smile on my face that I know Edward sees right through. His gaze is worried and flashes with guilt before he visibly tamps it down. After decades of believing he's a monster Edward has one hell of a guilt complex, and it takes awhile to unlearn that kind of self loathing despite my best efforts. But he's come a long way, and so have I. We make each other better. I give him a reassuring smile and scoop Renesmee's now empty plate from the table, washing it quickly but thoroughly and placing it back in the cabinet that would be it's prison until our return.
"Alright, Ness. Let's get you up to the main house so you can wait for Jake." I hold my hand out for her and she cheers, linking her small fingers with mine as Edward comes to join us. We step out of the cottage for a final time and lock the door. We take a second to stand there and take in our first home in a bittersweet moment before turning and running up the path to the main house. Nessie somehow manages to keep from covering herself in the mud that coats the forest floor after last night's torrential downpour, I'm not so lucky. Alice grimaces from the front door as she takes in my appearance and shakes her head, disappearing at a speed that still causes me to be surprised that I can follow her movement, before returning with some of her 'Emergency Bella Wardrobe' in hand. I don't think I'll ever get the hang of running and hunting without ending up a mess. She hands the pair of jeans and long sleeve tee to me when I reach the door, trading me for Nessie's hand.
"You look amazing, Ness. I knew that color would look pretty against your hair." She leads her into the house and into the kitchen where I can hear Esme ask her if she's hungry. My surrogate mother loves having someone to cook for, something I knew she was going to miss when I turned. Luckily Renesmee kept her from losing that aspect of motherhood. I place the clothes Alice handed me on the railing, taking Edward's hand with a grin.
"Ready for this?"
"You're on." He gives me a wicked grin and a squeeze before dropping my hand to take off into the woods, but I'm hot on his heels. With my newborn status finally nonexistent I'd lost my edge against my husband and he had his title of fastest in the family back, but I managed to keep up at least. Mud sprays up as I skid to a stop, head snapping to the left at the sound of a deer letting out a puff of air, his heart pumping rhythmically. Edward turns around and comes back to my side (stopping without the dramatic arc of mud) and smiles almost ferally at the sound of our prey. We blink and then we're off, bringing the mammal to the ground before it can even look up at us, hot delicious blood filling my mouth in an instant. The deer barely lasts us ten minutes before its drained and we're rising to our feet. Edward's laughter pulls my gaze from my breakfast and I turn to him with furrowed brows.
"What?" He just shakes his head and takes a step forward to wipe at my face with the bottom of my already ruined shirt. It comes away stained crimson, evidence that my track record of ending up smeared with blood was intact. "Damn," I mutter, "Alice is going to kill me. She loves this shirt."
"She can buy you another one if she cares that much. Besides," he snickers, "I think you could take her in a fight if it came down to it."
"She has an unfair advantage." We share a laugh as we stalk through the the trees in search of another deer, or maybe a mountain lion. One small doe wasn't enough to sustain us for the day, much less until we get settled in at Port Orford and have time to hunt again. It takes us an hour to stumble across an animal big enough to fill us, and by the time we return to the house Jake is already there eating enough eggs and bacon to feed three grown men. My nose crinkles in disgust at the smell that reaches me all the way on the porch as I pick up the clothes I'd left there. I kiss Edward quickly and sprint up the stairs to his old room, not wanting Jacob to see me covered in blood no matter how accepting he is nowadays of me being a vampire. I change as quickly as I can without tearing the fragile fabric before joining my family in the kitchen.
Carlisle and Esme are finishing up washing the dishes at human speed with Alice perched on the counter nearby, Jasper leaning next to her and watching her chatter excitedly about the move with a fond smile. Jacob is at the table eating, as always, and Renesmee is sitting next to him with her palm against his cheek, obviously showing him her thoughts. Emmett is leaning against the wall with Rosalie wrapped up in his arms as he whispers in her ear. At the sight of that I work extra hard to keep from listening in, knowing that there was no way anything being said was appropriate or something I wanted to hear. Edward is leaning against the entryway to the room and turns to give me his crooked grin, the one reserved only for me, as I approach. His happiness and love for our family is shining through his light eyes.
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side, pressing a kiss to my temple before turning his attention back to Alice's babbling. After a few minutes Jasper gets her attention with a tap to her thigh and whispers to her a question that would be inaudible to humans and that I try really hard not to hear out of respect for their privacy. At the chance to change the subject, Edward's attention moves to our daughter and the werewolf at her side.
"Are you sure you want to run all the way there, Jacob? There is room for you in our car if you'd rather." I smile at his offer and kind tone, still in amazement at how far along the state of their friendship has come.
"Yeah, Jake," I pipe in, scowling playfully at him, "why don't you want to ride with us? We're fun." He laughs around his final bite of breakfast and shakes his head, leaning back in his chair with a roll of his eyes.
"I wouldn't be able to handle the stench." My shoe is off in a millisecond and soaring through the air to whack him in the head a tad harder than it should if he was simply human. He yelps at the light sting and rubs his head with a glare.
"You're one to talk about stench."
"Alright you two," Carlisle cuts in amusedly, drying his hands off with a dish towel. "Play nice." Everyone in the room laughs at that as Alice prances across the room to pick up my white sneaker, handing it to me with a stern expression.
"Don't you dare do that ever again. This is a Louboutin shoe, not a weapon!" Edward snickers at her scolding, only to nod seriously when I turn to glare at him.
"Yeah, Bells," Jake snarks with a faux superior look on his face, "don't ever do that again." I pull the shoe back on, thankful that Louboutin makes sneakers so Alice has no excuse to force me into their heels, and take a step forward in preparation for a friendly brawl.
"Oh no you don't." Esme's warm voice causes me to turn to face her and her stern look. "We don't have time to clean up all the furniture you're going to break if you don't knock it off. We've got to get on the road." The 'kids' grumble as they move from the kitchen and out onto the porch, Emmett particularly disappointed as he's always up for a good fight. We're all silent as we turn to look at the house, sharing sad looks as we prepare to leave our home.
"No town or house has ever felt like home, not like Forks or this particular house does, and we owe that feeling of peace and belonging to our darling Bella. But, we'll be back one day in the future and until that day we'll always have each other." If I was still human Carlisle's words would have brought tears to my eyes, but instead I just smile sadly and move to give him a ferocious hug. After a few moments I move back to my husband's side and take my daughter's hand, giving the house a final farewell look before we start back to the cottage.
"The Volvo is at the cottage," Edward explains as the rest of our family moves towards the garage, "We'll follow you out." Carlisle nods and Alice comes over to give me and Ness hugs.
"See you guys soon," she chirps, dancing her way back to Jasper's side at his car, the major giving us a teasing salute. Rosalie gives me a smile and a nod as Emmett rushes over, sweeping me into a bear hug.
"Oregon isn't ready for us, right baby sis?" I laugh and hug him back, waiting till he sets me back on my feet to respond.
"Not even close." He ruffles Ness' hair and then follows Rose into the garage, climbing in one of the blonde's suped up cars with a grin. Esme hugs me next, the tender embrace full of warmth and love and it definitely would've made me sob if I had the ability. She pulls away to give me a kiss on the forehead and a loving smile before moving on to Edward and Renesmee. Carlisle is the last member of our family to say goodbye with a gentle, paternal hug.
"You're going to be okay." It's a statement, not a question, so I nod, because I am. It's hard to be leaving all of this behind, not to mention Charlie, but it's what has to be done and this is the life I chose. Besides, it's exciting to go somewhere new and start over as part of the exclusive Cullen clan. I turn away from them when Esme returns to his side, rejoining Edward and Renesmee before taking them both by the hand and starting down the path towards our cottage.
"You excited to see our new house, Ness?" She twirls under my arm and beams up at me, brown eyes sparkling.
"Yes! Aunt Alice refused to show me any pictures when she came back from decorating it with Grandma Esme. She said it'd be more fun as a surprise." She rolls her eyes and huffs as if that's the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard, and it causes both Edward and I to laugh.
"Aunt Alice is right, Ness." Edward peers at her around me with a grin. "A surprise is always more exciting."
"I hate surprises." She grumbles, lip stuck out in a pout.
"You and me both," I agree with her, dropping her hand to wrap my arm around her shoulders. We're all laughing when we finally arrive at the Volvo, Edward squeezing my hand before he drops it to move around to the driver's side. I open Ness' door and make sure she buckles up before I close it and climb into the passenger seat. Edward's already behind the wheel and grins crookedly at me as he pulls out onto the path. The car is silent the whole way back to the main house, a truly bittersweet moment as the sorrow of leaving meets the excitement of going somewhere new. The rest of the family is already loaded up and in a line down the driveway, making me laugh at the thought of vampires caravanning during a road trip just like any other family.
Gravel crunches under tire as we drive down the path leading to the main road, falling into line behind Alice and Jasper's car. The trip down the driveway is just as long as the first time I visited this house as Bella Swan, and I contentedly watch the tall trees pass by her until we reach the actual road. One by one we pull out into the street and accelerate, every driver knowing that if a police officer got too close Edward would sense it and call. I smile lovingly at him as he presses play on the stereo, Debussy filling the car softly and once again taking me back to the start. It seems fitting that Claire De Lune would be the soundtrack to our exit of Forks. I look back at Renesmee and give her a bright smile as we turn the page to the next chapter of our forever.