Chapter 11: The storm before the calm
The soft clinking of cutlery rouses me, and the sweet scent of tea invades my nostrils. I blink drunkenly and rub my eyes from sleep. I'm so tired that I'd rather sleep half a day more than get up now. But then a blurry memory of a red sunrise and the warmth of someone's hand sweeps my mind and I fly upright, scanning the room for any presence of him. Zeniba saunters toward the table with a tray of mugs and meets my gaze with a soft smile trailing her lips.
"He's already gone to the stables, would you go and fetch him, it's time for breakfast"
I nod shyly with heat coloring my cheeks by the thought that she knew exactly what I was looking for. The knitted sweater that Zeniba lent me hangs on the knob of the bedpost and I grab it, pulling it over my head and clumsily shove my arms through the holes. When the door creaks loudly as I open it the thought hits me that I could repair it for her, with some oil and small tweaks it'll be good as new.
The gravel grinds under my feet as I stroll around the corner of the cabin towards the backyard. The layout of the farmstead is like a U shape with the stable to the right, the barn to the left and the cabin in between. In the middle of them is a round lawn with an old style well in the center of it. I follow the trail to the left and peek through the large doorway of the stable, noticing Haku with an armful of hay pressed against his chest. He whistles silently while approaching a white mare in her box stall, her head peeks over the edge and immediately snags a chunk when he's before her. He chuckles then throws the rest inside and leans on the gate watching her.
For a moment I decide to just watch them, the scene so serene that it feels ripped straight out of a fairytale. The conversation from yesterday pops into my mind unbidden. He knew that my life would be difficult, but how? What in the world did the oracle tell him? I'm not so sure he would tell me the truth if I asked. Either way it's not a subject I'd like to breach right now.
"Breakfast is ready"
He starts and whip toward me in alarm, a few hay strands stuck to his t-shirt.
"You surprised me; a bit of forewarning would've been nice…"
"Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you"
I walk towards the haystack and grab an armful before heading towards another box stall and another hungry horse. The black mare is so eager that she barely lets me push the hay into her box. I rest my elbows on the gate and watch her chew ferociously, her jaws grinding the harsh texture.
"Do you like horses?" His voice is gentle and melodic, matching the rhythmic noise in the stable.
"Yeah, I've liked them ever since I was young… it's fascinating how an animal so huge would let tiny creatures command them… how about you?"
"Yeah… they're cleaver creatures, they won't let just anyone near them…"
I glance to the side, watching him reach over the gate, softly caressing the silky white mane.
"You seem to have a good hand with them"
"I wouldn't know why…"
I return to studying the black mare, how her mouth scans the floor for another bite of hay, how her flowing mane sways back and forth with each movement of her neck.
"It's kind of surreal how a normal animal like this can exist in a world filled with creatures like No Face…"
The mare raises her head and snorts, spraying a mixture of hay and saliva in my face. Haku's loud laughter rings in my ears as I wipe the grime with the end of my sweater sleave.
"She seems to have taken offence!"
I squeeze my eyes open and meet her wise gaze. There's something mysterious about horse's that makes me wonder what hides behind their gentle expressions.
"Sorry girl, I didn't mean anything by it" I reach in to try and pet her, but she backs away and lowers her head to continue grazing. I sigh and turn around, walking towards the exit "lets head back, Zeniba's waiting…"
He trails behind me and our steps crunch in unison against the gravel path.
"Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, how about you? it couldn't have been comfortable sleeping in that armchair…"
"There's worse places to sleep…"
I throw a glance over my shoulder and watch him smile snidely at me. I wonder what kind of worse places he's thinking about, but don't ask.
Zeniba looks up as we enter and gestures for us to join her. She's prepared a hefty breakfast with bread, scrambled eggs, vegetables, bacon, juice, tea and coffee. I've been preparing my own meals without much fervor, so this is a pleasant change. Yet there's more than enough for five people, so how am I supposed to manage eating even a fourth of it? I settle down and grab a fork to shovel different dishes onto my plate, and already my mouth begins to water. Zeniba hands me the pot of coffee and I grab it gratefully, pouring a generous amount into my mug.
"How were the horses?"
Zeniba hands the plate of bacon to Haku who shakes his hand in considerate rejection.
"They were very energetic and hungry" He grabs the plate of eggs and scoots a chunk onto his plate, then fill his mug to the brim with tea.
"I was thinking of changing pen for the cows, the season's changing and the pasture's beginning to thin out, would you mind lending a hand?" She glances toward me handing over a carafe of milk and as per usual I pour until the coffee is caramel brown.
"Not at all, are you thinking of herding with the horses?" Haku mumbles in between bites of savory bread.
"Yes, I was thinking of bringing Cadence… that brute of a mare has the personality of a crocodile with a hook in its tail… maybe you could give her some well needed scolding…"
He chuckles with mirth, throwing her a side glance "what makes you think I can do anything about it?"
"Well, you're as grumpy as she is, so who knows, maybe you'll find a liking to each other"
"I'm not grumpy!" He bites back with a sullen, pouty expression, and I can't help but laugh.
It was long since I was part of this kind of warm atmosphere that it almost overwhelms me. I can't even remember the last time I was part of a gathering with this kind of mirth. Though, to be fair, I avoided them with the fervor of someone running from flames.
I watch their friendly bickering and a strange sense of loss settles in my gut. My heart beats faster, pumping anxiety through my veins, building a lump in my throat. It feels difficult to breathe, like the air doesn't contain enough oxygen. I interrupt them with a croak to try and dispel the unsettling feeling "While you two go frolicking about, I was thinking of doing something about that creaking door, and some other knicks I noticed while wandering about, if you don't mind?"
"So, the poor state of my farmstead dissatisfies you?" She smiles snidely and bore into me with those saucepan eyes.
I glare at her, my nerves tingling in anticipation, but she just chuckles softly.
"Don't worry dear, I was just jesting. Please go ahead, that door needs some sprucing…"
I return to plucking at my plate "Where can I find tools and oil?"
"They should be out in the barn by the rakes and shovels, in a toolbox"
"Thanks"
I recognize this feeling of dread, though I would never have guessed that it would resurface while being with them. In this place of cheerfulness. Every sound grows muffled and my gaze lands somewhere far off, a grey haze settling before my eyes. My hand halts halfway to my moth, a piece of egg skewered on the fork slowly slides off, landing with a soft thump on the plate.
Zeniba snaps her fingers before me, and I'm tugged back from the dark maze I was heading into. My gaze flits between them groggily, and I'm startled to find out how much time must've passed while I was absorbed in thoughts. Their plates are emptied, and all beverages consumed.
My gaze finally lands on Haku, who's worry is clearly written in his eyes "What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" I laugh weakly "I was just contemplating how to go about repairing everything!" I'm irked by the poor attempt at hiding my unease; it must be obvious that something's wrong. I take a deep breath and try to calm my erratic heart, lowering my cheerful tone "sorry, I was simply lost in thought…"
They both study me with intrusive glares, seemingly unconvinced. I stand up too fast and the chair rattles beneath me before coming to a standstill. The world spins from headrush so I grab the edge of the table to steady myself. I scramble for dishes and bunch them together before heading toward the counter, preventing them from interrogating me.
"You two can head out first, it's my turn to wash the dishes!" the animated voice leaving my throat feels unfamiliar, childish, and I want to bash my head against something to end this foolishness.
"Okay… we'll leave it to you then…" I can tell that he's concerned, but to my relief they both head out the door.
I berate myself for being silly and throw a fist against the tiles, hoping it will stem the flow of anxiety riddling my nerves.
In moments like this I would pull on my headphones and blast heavy metal to drown out the thoughts. But now nothing accompanies me except the silence and foamy dishwater. I try to calm myself by moving the rag in circles against the plate, watching the grime trickle down with the water. No Face mumbles behind me and I throw a glance over my shoulder, making sure he's not watching, but thankfully he seems completely absorbed with knitting.
My heart refuses to settle down and increases its harsh beatings against my ribcage. Even so I refuse to relent to my body's knacks and force myself to continue with the task before me. When I place the last plate in the dish rack my body feels wired up enough to explode. None of my security measures are available, like reading manga while listening to music, absorbing myself in series or bashing something to redirect the pain. Right now, there's nothing but me and the deafening silence.
My breaths are shallow and fast when I hurry towards the door. The sun blinds me as I stumble drunkenly towards the backyard. I lean against the wall and press a hand against my heart, feeling it's wild thumping against my fist. The world seems to spin as I dig my claws into the wood and half stumble, half crawl into the darkness of the stable.
I fall to my back and stare up at the ceiling while tears threaten to build in my eyes, but I refuse them the chance by rubbing furiously.
I can count on one hand how many times I've cried since that dreadful day in school so many years ago. Back then I promised to beat this weakness out of me. To rip and drag out that pathetic, small girl who hides within. To bash and demolish her with my own two hands. But she simply refuses to leave, always resurfacing whenever I feel weak.
I curl into a ball and my heavy breaths puff against my palms as I dig my nails into my scalp. The world tumbles around me, and for a while I'm convinced that a black pit will open beneath me and swallow me whole.
Dark thoughts swivel in my mind, big hands reaching after me, small corners without light, screaming and beatings.
It's difficult to tell how much time has passed when my heart slowly settles, and I can breathe properly again. I'm still on my back on the harsh cement floor, glaring at the ceiling. Sun beams struggle to find their way in the dim light, and I watch as dust particles dance in the air within them. The faint taste of metal spreads in my mouth and I probe the inside of my cheeks with my tongue, finding that I've bitten them raw.
Slowly the surroundings become clearer, and I realize that I've planted myself right against the box stall of the black mare. Her head peeks over the gate, seemingly pondering what I'm doing there. I've never seen a horse from this angle before, she looks kind of silly with that big soft muzzle. I stretch my arm towards her, and she sniffs curiously at my fingers, maybe hoping for a treat.
"Sorry, I've got nothing on me right now"
My voice is ragged and scrapy, probably a result of hyperventilating. I drag myself into sitting position, collecting myself before standing up and heading towards the feeding coop. Rummaging through the box I manage to find a few crooked carrots that I bring back with me. I study the wooden sign brandishing her name and a snide smile spreads my lips.
"So, your name's Raven huh, very fitting indeed"
I offer up a carrot and her soft, yet firm lips tickle me as they probe my palm in an effort to grip it. After some struggle she manages to bite into it, and I listen in content at the crunching, sloshing sounds as she chews.
"Tasty huh?"
She wiggles her head in a kind of nod but I'm unconvinced that she actually understands. But the depth and warmth in her eyes calms me.
"Want another one?"
I hand her the second carrot, then the third and take the opportunity to brush away her fringe and pet the soft fur beneath. Soon my whole body has gone soft from over exertion, but I can't allow myself to rest any further. There're things to be done before those two come back, otherwise they'll notice that something's up. I sigh and pet her forehead one last time before leaving the stable and striding to the barn.
I snag the toolbox and begin with the cabin door, oiling its hinges, tightening the screws, all the while my hands shake from strain. The door still creaks somewhat as I open and close it a few times, but it's much better than before. I discard the tools in the box and head towards the backyard to begin working with the other tasks.
A few hours later Haku and Zeniba returns on the back of their horses, Zeniba sits on a sturdy little pony and Haku on the muscular white mare. I'm leaning against the well with a glass of water, pushing sweaty damp hair out of my face. It's kind of absurd watching Zeniba atop a horse. The picture so bizarre I could never have imagined it unless I saw it before me. Despite her short legs she dismounts elegantly and grab the reins to lead the horse inside the stable.
I tag along behind them and watch as Haku walks up beside the mare, petting her thick neck with a soft smile trailing his lips. His hair tussled from the wind, a few tresses lining his cheeks. Dust taints his disheveled clothes, almost like that rugged farmer in a lewd novel, it's beyond handsome.
"How was the ride?"
"Sweaty…" Haku says turning towards me, his emerald eyes glinting with mirth.
"I can imagine… well, hurry and finish up, dinner will be ready soon"
"You've been cooking?" Zeniba turn towards me with alarm.
"Don't worry, I haven't burnt the cabin down…"
The sun is slowly setting in the sky as I stroll back toward the cabin. As I open the door the pleasant scent of chili and garlic wafts from the simmering stew. I check one last time if all the vegetables are ready then bring the saucepan over to the already set table.
A few moments later Haku and Zeniba push through the door, discarding their shoes before approaching the table. They settle down and she lifts the lid of the saucepan, eyeing and smelling the stew suspiciously before scooping a tiny portion onto her plate.
"Don't be so nervous, it's not like I'm trying to poison you!"
"Well, I've never pictured you a cook…"
"There's many things about me that might surprise you…"
I sigh at their hesitant glares and begin to fill my plate with potatoes and stew, snagging pieces of bread and buttering them. When they finally dare take a bite their eyebrows raise one after the other in bewilderment. A smug smile tugs at the corner of my lips and I hide it by taking a bite of bread.
"This is surprisingly delicious…" Haku peeks at me, smiling.
"Told you there was nothing to fear… it's true that cooking wasn't really a hobby of mine, but I never shunned good flavor and taste"
After confirming that the food is consumable, they heft a generous amount onto their plates and dig in for real this time.
I take a sip of water and glance at Zeniba "How come you decided to settle down like this? In a simple farmstead, bringing up cattle and such when you can use magic?"
She finishes chewing and swallows "It's pretty simple really… contrary to my sister, I believe an easy lifestyle brings more happiness than surrounding oneself with luxury and greed… the feeling of the sun on my skin as I stroll through the fields, the scent of flowers, grass, and hay… to take care of animals and work until my body's worn out, the lovely sleep that follows…"
she reaches over the table and I hand her the plate of butter "Of course, not everyone agreed with my way of thinking… my parents were of the same caliber as my sister, she inherited the bathhouse from them… their plan was for us to run it together, instead I landed here, the look on their faces as I told them was indescribable" She chuckles softly, planting her gaze on me "what about you? what do you want out of life?"
The sip of water hitches in my throat and I cough violently, then awkwardly clean my mouth "To be honest… I never really thought about it… up until now…" I throw a glance at Haku before realizing what it could be interpret as, and lower my gaze "what does it even matter now? There's a path ahead of me and there's no choice but to take it…"
Zeniba sighs, I don't know what for "There's always a choice dear… even if people try to decide what you should do, in the end, it's up to you how you want to live your life…"
"That might be true… but until I know more about everything, it feels like I should follow what the old man told me… at least for now…"
"You do what you think is best… so, what's the next step?"
"Haku and I discussed it, we thought that the best approach would be to visit the bathhouse… if we're lucky, Yubaba might have some idea's on where to find the horse we're looking for… and I'd like to visit my old friends as well…"
"Very well, when do you plan on leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning…"
"So soon?"
I glance towards her, and warmth fills my heart at the somewhat somber looks she's displaying.
"I don't want to extend this any more than necessary, I want it over with…"
"I see, well, I'll prepare some things for you then…"
I shake my head in alarm "There's no need for that, you don't have to!"
"But I want to! and don't lie to me, you arrived here with nothing but a dress… " She leans towards me, shielding her mouth while whispering "besides, I'd love to send some of No Face's works with you"
We both chuckle and I return to plucking another bite of food "Then, thank you very much…"
We finish the meal amidst casual chatting and afterwards I clear the table. Haku helps dry the dishes while I wash them.
I lie awake listening to Zeniba's deep snores and Haku's soft inhales from the spare bed not too far off. Moonlight spills in between the slits of the curtains, casting a dim blue hue over the cabin walls. My eyes sting as I glare up at the ceiling wide awake, even though I'm so tired that my body aches from exertion. Crickets sing beneath the window and a soft breeze pulls at the grass. Every little noise seems to fester in my ears. Thoughts swivel my mind in an endless blur, and I can't shut them out. I toss and turn before finally falling into a restless sleep. Where long arms and big hands move to grab me. Where lustful eyes glare at me from dark corners.
That was chapter 11! I've been hesitant how to write Zeniba for a long time, how to try and catch her character from the movie. But honestly, we see so little of her that it's hard to get a clear picture. I decided to write her like a wise, kind grandmother living the farm life. I hope you can accept and like this version.
As always, thanks for reading, liking and favoring the story. Please leave a review with your thoughts, I always take them in account when writing, plus they give me tons of motivation!
Celurian - I'm so glad you're still with me, your comments always spur me on and make me so happy!
James birdsong - thank you so much!
Thank you all, lots of hugs from Alpha.