A longer chapter for you today! Thanks to all who leave me a note, much appreciated!

The dawn greeted her once again through the massive glass panes. Another day on Chandrila. She didn't find herself thinking too much about the fact that logically, she should be waking up on Hoth this morning. Her mind was too busy already swimming with what the day held.

She pushed the plush cover off her body as she stood up and made her way to her vanity. She left her hair long last night, which was more comfortable to sleep in but required some extra brushing in the morning. That worked out okay because she used the time to decide what to wear, how to style her hair, and ran through the facts she reviewed the previous day.

Her priority that day was to hold herself together enough that she made it smoothly through the Alderaan diaspora meeting that afternoon. According to what future Leia had vented to Mon during their biweekly scheduled meetings, it had taken her weeks to finally schedule something that worked with the different clan factions. And her fellow Alderaanians had traveled from far and wide to make it in person. How could she cancel?

Well, her mind was firm early on that she could muster up enough knowledge and guts to pull this off. She may not remember anything that happened in the past four years, but she did know these people. These were her people. She recognized most of the names on the invitee list; Hess Ryeidl who was a friend of her father's and a sweet man, Cleir Badduk was a tradeswoman she had met once or twice, and administrator Eglyn Valmor, thought a few years older than her, was a good friend growing up.

It had been years since she had seen all of these people. She never even heard that Hess Ryeidl survived until she saw his name on the list. A large part of her saw these survivors's success as an inspiration to her own. They made it through the unthinkable, so she too could navigate her way through this upheaval in her life.

She decided on the most traditional Alderaania braids she had time for. A woven crown at the top of her head with a single plait emerging from the center and trailing down her back. She also chose a more elaborate styled dress. It was white. She understood her conscious mind still felt most comfortable presenting herself in white, thought the ring on her finger told her she had no need anymore. The dress had gold trim around the high neck and flowing sleeves and the fabric was thicker than the breezy chiffon she was used to wearing.

As she gauged herself in the reflector, she gave herself an approving smile. She felt like Leia, and she hoped that confidence would carry her through the day.

From the 'fresher reflector, she glanced at the video device she brought in with her. Rayah was still sacked out in her crib. She noticed the little girl change position once, but quickly settle back down, deciding it was not time to get up yet.

Chewie put her to bed the previous evening while she and Han were busy tracking down documents in the office. Han had discovered some documents on his past missions under the New Republic. Judging from the reports, some things got a little messy, but it was peanuts compared to the dangerous scrapes he had fought his way through during and even before the war. Leia could make out his slight disappointment at that news. Han Solo was a swashbuckling, street smart doer and he clearly wasn't doing all he was capable of.

Putting those thought aside for now and with her personal preparations completed, Leia took her holopad and the monitor into the empty kitchen. Walking past the living room, Han was still sacked out on his 'comfortable' sofa in a position that was most definitely NOT comfortable.

Without giving him too much thought, she continued into the kitchen to try and find something quick and edible. She remembered finding some bars in a cabinet the first day. She figured that would hold her over enough until her stomach could settle after this meeting was over.

She heard a shuffle from behind her as she took her first bite of breakfast. "Good morning," she said to the man who was currently trying to wipe the tired from his eyes.

He blinked from under his hair that his sleep had styled like bangs. "Gods, you're already ready?"

"I am." She wasn't sure what he expected of her. Of course she would be up and ready early. "The meeting with some of the dispersed Alderaanian clans is this afternoon, but there's a lot to do before then."

"Like find the building and find your office?"

"Exactly." That was another complication to the day. "Mon's people sent me directions and let my chief of staff know about… all this."

She watched his face as he pressed his lips together and his eyes dulled in chagrin. He had made it very clear he didn't think her diving back into work so quickly was a good idea. He was probably right. She knew she still needed time to get acquainted with this new life. But she saw things much differently from him.

She knew politics. This was her arena. It was what shaped her being, her essence. If she could find that again, harness what she knew she was good at, she could find her way here in this foreign reality. That was what today was about. Finding comfort in the familiar.

But she wasn't bionic, so she planned to begin with a limited schedule.

"I think I'll do half days for a while, but I need to figure out some logistics today," she shared with her fellow amnesiac.

She hoped that made him feel a little better, but his focus had turned to the monitor that glowed blue in the center of the table. Leia took a step closer to the projection to see what captured his attention.

They watched as the blue figure in the crib shuffled around, her head eventually popping up. They watched with amusement as her weight put her off balance for a moment before she sat up, her head turning this way and that.

"She's up." Leia found her face unconsciously glowing and smiley.

Han took a step back. "I'll get her," he said, his voice uncharacteristically soft, captivated by this vision as much as she was.

What she wanted to do and what she actually did were two different things. She desperately wanted to take this on herself, pick up that little girl as tiny hands reached out with a sleepy grin. But there was something that held her back, guarded her heart from opening it up to only be disappointed. Rayah wiggling out of her arms the previous morning kept her from acting. Leia didn't need further confirmation that Rayah knew this woman was not the mother she remembered. Han was doing okay. Rayah would be better with him.

She sighed with resignation of that fact. "I better go. My ride should be here any moment."

He also looked resigned to her statement, but he reached out one more time with his words. "You're sure you'll be okay?"

"I'll be fine, Han." She knew he cared, he was always the first to worry about her safety and well being. "I scheduled a driver for today so you can use my speeder. Apparently yours was totaled in a crash."

"Yeah," he chuckled grimly as he walked out of the kitchen. "Wish I remembered that."

"Good morning, Senator."

The cheery ring of her chief of staff's voice was pleasant to her ears. She was sure future Leia wouldn't hire someone dull and unimaginative, but it was an amiable sight to behold when she walked into her office door to the face of a bright, young scholar.

"Good morning," she greeted back with a smile. "It's Nila right?"

"Yes, Nila Prettein, Senator." The woman held out an awkward hand as her eyes skeptically scanned the amnesiac in front of her.

Leia made it a point to project confidence and comfort as she walked further in and took the girl's hand. "Please, call me Leia when it's just us."

The girl breathed out a quick relieved breath. "Thank you. I'm glad. That's what I usually call you."

According to the files she found, Nila was half Alderaanian living with her mother's family on Hosnian Prime at the time of the planets destruction. Studying political science through the war, she made her way through the New Republic circles very quickly. Finding herself employed by the last Princess of Alderaan suited her quite well. She was about the same age as Leia, bright eyed, focused with dark kinky curls. She had most of her political future ahead of her.

Leia put her best foot forward as she acknowledged the less than ideal situation. "I think I'm still the same person, just very ignorant about many things."

"Well, the Leia I know is a natural and will find herself back up to speed in no time."

Leia didn't take compliments well, but she was feeling quite vulnerable today and was grateful for the boost of confidence. "You've been working closely on the Alderaanian settlement," she stated, Leia had read up on that as well.

"Yes, that has been your top priority since taking the role of Senator and I've been grateful to advise." Nila swept her hand to gesture to the side door. "I have some helpful documents laid out on your desk."

Completely focused on their conversation, Leia was remiss in taking in the space. Now that she did, she could tell this was an antechamber and entrance space. Nila's desk was directly in front with a large window behind it. The walls were a deep blue, the national hue of the former planet she represented, and the decorations were simple, minimalistic. She recognized a few pieces scattered around and there were some holos of events she didn't recognize. Flanked in the center of the entrance table, a model of Alderaan.

She didn't have enough time to fully take everything in as she followed Nila's hand motion and into her inner office. "Thank you. Mon and I discussed this topic as my top priority while I get reacquainted with everything."

The inner office beautifully complimented the outer; same color, same type of decorations. The white, spacious desk centered the room. As she walked around it, she saw the few personal touches lining the top. A holo of her and Han similar to the one she had already found. A holo of Luke Skywalker with his lightsaber ignited. Except this lightsaber was green. She filed that away for later as her attention fell to the last holo, an image of Rayah in her arms, giggling, smiling, completely contented and happy. They both were.

"Here you are," Nila gestured to the more immediate holos positioned on the desk in front of the large chair.

Leia refocused her mind. She had to get through today, bring the best of Leia Organa to the table for both her people and for herself.

"There are three key documents you should be aware of."

Leia sat herself down as Nila popped open the first glowing holo.

"This is the completed list of survivors. It's been updated regularly when we get word of someone new who was living off planet. It's the most comprehensive one we have."

This was a piece of information she had been dying to get her hands on ever since the disaster. Hiding with the Rebellion made tracking people down and publicly finding people very difficult.

"Thank you," she said gratefully as Nila moved onto the next document.

"The second is the meeting agenda for today." The bright blue screen opened up with a short but sufficient account of timing, topics, and names. "Your role is to open and close the meeting. And you'll guide the discussion, but this is mainly a place for the representatives to have their voices heard."

"And what is the main topic of conversation?" This was an important thing to know.

Leia didn't like the heavy sigh that came from Nila's lips as she went into detail. "The Alderaanian Flotilla and the new space station. Did Mon discuss the last meeting of these delegates almost a year ago?"

Leia nodded. "She did, but I'd like to hear your opinion." A diplomatic answer that kept Nila talking while Leia took everything in.

"It was intense." Nila stood up from her hunched position over the desk. "Administer Valmor was quite vocal about her demands that the Flotilla should remain near Alderaan while others who had successfully resettled argued resettlement and integration was the best thing for the people."

She knew Administer Eglyn Valmor was the head of the Alderaanian Flotilla, the collection of ships circling the space that once held a planet. Eglyn had been most insistent that the space continue to be inhabited by Aleraanians, as Leia had been too after the Battle of Yavin when she herself initiated the Flotilla.

But Leia was hearing both arguments now. "Living in the past versus preserving the past."

Nila nodded emphatically. "Correct summation."

"I understand there are still hard feelings about the ultimate decision to use parts from the first Death Star to build a space station in the empty space where Alderaan stood." This was her understanding from what she had read.

"Using that destructive killing force to represent the new Alderaan." Nila let her own strong opinion slip through with a bite. "It's contentious. And it brings us to the third document, the designs for the new space station."

The third holo illuminated, specking out the design, measurements, and technical details of how they were planning on salvaging the wreckage and erecting a new station.

Raising her gaze, Leia looked at her fellow Alderaanian. "And what are your thoughts?"

She spoke quickly, like these thoughts were on the tip of her tongue just waiting to be allowed release. "Those tainted scraps have no right to be uttered in the same breath as our planet." Nila couldn't be more forthright.

And that forthrightness was a sign for what was to come.

It started out friendly enough. She was thrilled when Hess Ryeidl was one of the first to arrive. His familiar shuffling of his considerable weight and the smile he gave her through his facial hair was like welcoming an old friend.

"Princess Leia," he greeted kindly with a kiss to both cheeks.

"Hess," she grinned up at him. Just his presence reminded her so much of her father and some of the times Bail would bring her to visit his old friend. "It's good to see you."

"And you, Princess," The older man declared. "I hope that little girl of yours isn't giving you as much trouble as you gave your parents."

The mention of Rayah almost threw her off, but she remained composed and focused on her own memories. "I'm sure she could never possibly be worse than me."

That had the man chuckling as he stepped back to let Leia greet the rest of the entering guests. She was able to put names to faces from the prep materials she devoured and made enough polite conversation to make it seem like she knew these strangers well. Cleir Badduk entered, another familiar face she approached with repartee.

A woman with an ice-blonde braid over her shoulder caught her eye. The color had changed, but the face she remembered was unmistakable. "Eglyn."

"Leia," the other woman approached with a slow and assuming gait as if she was the featured number in a fashion walk. "Thank you for your work in scheduling this."

"Of course." Leia dialed back her enthusiasm for seeing a familiar face. "I'm eager to come to a conclusion we may all be happy with."

"Yes," the woman answered with an edge to her tone. "Although I'm more eager to come to a conclusion where I get what I want."

That last phrase was the one that shifted any expectations Leia had for this meeting to stay cordial and simple. The controversy about the space station prevailed with hard line opinions on both sides.

Ambassador Valmor was the loudest and most set in her ways. "It's still good material," she shared as she had the high ground and was simply bored with any argument against her. "Don't let what it was used for warp your sense of need."

Hess was more forceful in his retort than she had ever seen. He used his fist to pound the table and she thought for a moment he might rise from his chair with his passion. "Those metals destroyed my home, my family!" His emotional plea hitting home for all of them, especially Leia. "How can anyone set foot on something so gruesome?"

"You're letting your emotional dislike of some metal to cloud your perceptions. We could purchase newly refined metal from the cleanest planet out there and you'd still disapprove. You're baseless arguments are obstructing real progress and healing for Alderaanians."

"Is that what Queen Breha would say?"

Hess was the first one to invoke the Queen, but he wasn't the last.

"Queen Breha would have wanted us to stand our ground, as the Princess argued before."

Leia cringed every time her past opinion was conjured to try and support both sides of the argument.

"Would the Queen want her people to cling to a geographic location where the landscapes of Alderaan will never be seen again? No matter how many scraps of metal you weld together. The Queen and late Senator Organa would be appalled at this display."

Now Leia spoke up, tired of hearing mention of the Queen and the late Senator. "Please don't put words in my parents' mouths." Her voice was more cutting than she wanted it to be, but certainly didn't reach the tenor of the rest of the room. "We don't know what their thoughts would be because they are not here."

"Surly you agree, Princess?" Hess looked to her now to join with her opinion.

Ambassador Valmor was just as eager for her to offer the opposite opinion. "No, the Princess was quite firm last time. The Flotilla must have a permanent presence."

Leia raised her hand before anyone else could offer a retort. As the room immediately quieted, she was glad to see she could still hold everyone's attention with that simple gesture. "The only thing I agree on," she kept her spine straight and her fidgeting fingers below the conference table. "Is that everyone wants to do their best for our people."

"Some of us do…" One of the more vocal and riled up Hess Ryeidl supporters spoke under his breath.

"Excuse me, Ambassador Gliqk." Leia heard what he said, but now her blood was running hot. "Do you have something to share with the group?"

Her hard voice was met with a dark, almost seething statement. "I meant that some of us have a history of making decisions for the betterment of Alderaan and some of us have clearly chosen other priorities."

"Uff," Eglyn rolled her eyes. "Don't start this again…"

"I'm sorry, I'm not clear." Leia's eyes narrowed, her voice rose as she straitened to full seated height, her 5 foot seemingly much taller as she leaned forward across the conference table. "To whom are you referring?"

"I'm only suggesting…" the man stated, his voice toning down with more grief than anger. "If someone put Alderaan first, we might still have a planet."

He couldn't have been clearer. And maybe… maybe he was right.

She sat back. Her eyes cold, betraying nothing. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

They didn't reach an agreement, except for the agreement that they would hold a remote vote on the decision in a week's time after all parties had the chance to consider the merits of each side and for the steadfast supporters or opponents to lobby the outstanding votes.

With the meeting adjourned, most of them stayed around the conference room, segregating themselves into their cliques in one corner or another. Leia was counting on Nila to lead them out as she took her leave. She needed to get out, needed space, needed air, needed an outlet or… something.

Her comm sat on her desk back in her office and she didn't hesitate before searching through the saved contacts and pressing the contact she wanted.

She would't be surprised if he didn't pick up. Maybe he wasn't on the Falcon today? And he still didn't have a personal comm, so this was the only way she could possibly reach him.

Luck was on her side for once. His torso appeared on her screen in brilliant clarity that both eased and heightened her emotions.

"Han…" she gasped, failing to keep her emotional walls fortified as her breathy call exemplified.

"Princess." His grin turned into a frown as he recognized she wasn't in her right mind. "What's wrong?"

With the comm sitting on her desk, both her hands were free to press into the sides of her aching temples. "It's all a mess." She lamented with rare candor. "I'm a mess…"

"You? A mess?" He questioned with that signature Solo smirk. "Bantha fodder."

This is why he was the first and only person she wanted to contact. His lighthearted voice started to drag her from her discouragement.

"What happened?" His sincerity dripped from his his words.

"I don't know where I stand with this," she shared, her eyes wandering as if the answer was somewhere in the room. "Apparently I've held strong opinions in the past that I don't remember… And then they invoked my parents… And I don't know how to do this."

"Hey, listen to me." His cutting tone drew her attention to his intense virtual gaze. "You're the strongest person I know. You'll figure this out."

His words were clear and slow, emphasizing each point. She let them sweep over her as she tried to make them sink in.

"Seriously sweetheart, no one is more prepared and ready for a challenge than you." He shrugged. "Yeah, it'll take time to learn everything again…"

"It's not just that," she interrupted, needing him to know where she was coming from. This wasn't just about learning all the content from the past 4 years. She now realized how much of a changed person Leia Organa was.

"What is it then?"

That voice rang through her head. 'If someone put Alderaan first, we might still have a planet.'

"I'm realizing…" she began, swallowing a lump that formed heavy in her throat. "Four years is a long time to finally let go of some things that… that I haven't been able to let go of yet."

Her eyes blinked, wet, but refusing to let anything fall. She knew Han was smart. Smart enough to know there was a lot she was holding back. He didn't know the details, but he knew it weighed heavy on her. Maybe that was why he wanted her to ease back into this more slowly, so she wouldn't get hurt.

"Come home."

What a welcome sound that was. His deep voice like a request laced with desire.

She looked back to the closed door where she heard movement on the other side. "They were planning to go for dinner…"

"Leia." Now his voice was more insistent. "You gotta put yourself first once in a while. Otherwise you won't be able to bring your full self to the work."

Gods, he was right. She made a mental note of this; Han Solo was right at least once in her time knowing him. Despite all the pain she was feeling, her eyes sparkled as she responded. "You know, you're pretty wise for a scoundrel."

"Guess you have a lot to learn about me." His lips curled up. "I'm wise and I can say the basic alphabet backwards."

The jocular pride in his voice was more than enough to get her to let go, release some of the bottled up tension in light laughter. She was very aware of the next words she said with the tilt of her head and her keen eyes watching for his reaction. "I guess that's why I fell in love with you."

She got the reaction she was hoping for. His eyes shining with contentment. "Guess so," he muttered back.

"I'll be home soon." And with that promise, she shut off the comm and let his image clear away for now.

Back in the antechamber, Nila was contenting their guest with conversation, something about the smashball league if Leia caught the end of their conversation accurately.

Eglyn dropped the conversation and rose from her chair as the Princess entered. "Shall we do dinner?" The other woman asked with a confident simper.

"I do apologize," Leia began with a faked apologetic tone that left no room to argue. "But I promised my husband I'd be home."