Thanks so much for reading! Hope you enjoy this chapter full of revelations and the first steps of healing.
Darth Vader was Leia's biological father. Leia's biological father was Darth Vader.
He should be laughing after even giving that sentence a moment of serious contemplation. But here he was, believing it, however reluctantly.
Behind his outward confidence, Han did not pride himself on his intelligence, critical thinking. He was street smart, intuitive. But Leia was the one with the brains big enough to sort out complicated problems in a matter of minutes. He didn't know how much capacity his own mind lacked until meeting her.
But Han was intelligent enough to know one thing; Luke wasn't lying. As much as he wished this was all some stupid prank, he knew it wasn't. And Leia knew it wasn't.
Leia was gone by the time he got Rayah up and dressed. Luke was slumped on their sofa, looking worse for wear. When he asked after the Princess, Luke forced him to put Rayah down before he spoke. He was glad he did so there was nothing in his hands when his muscles ceased to work and he collapsed in a chair.
No wonder she ran. This wasn't the kind of news anyone could take lying down. Lying down, sitting up, or in a semi recumbent position, nothing would have prepared her for this. Gods, he wasn't prepared for this.
And yet, Han trusted Luke. So it must be true.
Once it sunk in, he went into action mode; clothed into his role of protector and place of solace.
He was lucky they got another speeder, because hers was gone. He drove his to what he hoped would be the only stop on what could have been a lengthy pursuit around the entire galaxy until he found her.
Her speeder was parked below and the ramp was still lowered. Jumping out of his auto, he strode up the ramp.
She was in the gallery, facing away from him with her legs curled into her seat, her head against the back of the bench.
It took him a moment to find the right words before he settled on, "Hey."
Her head turned, not fully but just enough to make out his profile."Rayah…" she croaked out.
He assumed that was a question. "Luke's got her."
A brief panic overtook him, hoping he made the right call there. Luke said he would be okay with her. The large kid must have watched the little kid at some point before, right? The other Han and Leia trusted him, right?
Leia didn't seem to fixate on Luke and Rayah, so neither did he. Her breath came heavy as she shook her head, turning it away from him once again. "I can't believe this..."
He brought a hand to scratch the back of his head. "Thought I heard him wrong the first time he said it, but he seemed adamant. Don't think he's mistaken."
"No..." Leia dismissed his train of thought. "I mean, yes I believe him. I knew he was hiding something and when the Force came to me…"
Luke told him about Leia's meditation experience that morning, how Luke thought she dipped into some of their history that was pretty dark.
Her head shook, voice low and spacy. "I just can't believe this is real."
"Pretty insane." He clicked his tongue on his teeth.
He watched her stand, thumb picking at her middle finger as she walked towards one wall and then back again. "Everyone I thought I knew… everyone I thought loved me kept this secret from me my whole life… It was all a lie."
"That's kinda dramatic, Leia," he said as he leaned against the entryway, arms crossed.
Her eyes finally met his as she pivoted during one of her paces. "What happened last time he told me? I didn't think to ask."
Luckily, Han did ask before he left the apartment. Luke told him what happened in their past life. "It was right before the operation against the second Death Star."
"Perfect timing," she scoffed.
"He said you cried… and I was there for you." Knowing that made his heart flutter. Knowing he was there for her in the past helped him to follow her again.
Instead of finding comfort in that, she took aim and fired. "That I believe! Taking advantage of me in a weak moment!"
"Leia…"
She held up her hand. "I didn't mean that," she retracted almost immediately.
He didn't take anything she said in this moment personally. "I know. You're just mad."
Her voice rose and then fell as her fingers went to her temple. "So mad! So confused..."
Pushing himself from the wall, he raised both his arms. "Come 'ere."
It was good to see her shuffle over to him instead of shutting him out like he half expected. He loved how she felt curled up under his arms, pressed comfortably against his chest, how he could easily envelop her completely with his cheek against her head and his arms pressed against her lower back.
"You give good hugs," she sighed into his chest.
A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Just for you, Princess."
She was silent for a long moment and he was more than happy to indulge her as his cheek skimmed against her hair and hands stroked her back.
"I still can't believe it," she whispered. "I don't think it will ever really sink in."
"That's what Luke said." His brother-in-law shared that Leia had never been and never would be comfortable with this knowledge.
"And we've been keeping this a secret from everyone."
"What?" He pulled her back so he could see if she was serious in what sounded like a regret. "You think you should have told people?"
She made her argument. "I'm an appointed official working on behalf of the galaxy and Alderaan. Don't they deserve to know? Aren't I being dishonest by hiding who I am?"
"That's got nothin' to do with who you are." She made her point, but he didn't see the relevance at all. "They know what's important, what you did in the war, what you're doin' now." He was firm in his rebuttal. "What you've always fought for."
After some thought, her mouth opened. "Maybe…"
He was ready to pivot to a different subject, one he found more personally satisfying. "You came to the Falcon," he said with a knowing, pleased glint in his eye as he glimpsed his ship in his peripherals.
"Is that okay?"
"More than okay." His enthusiastic insistence was meant to quell any hesitation she voiced. "You figured out the access code."
She smiled, wryly. Her cheeks would be slightly rosy in a moment. "It wasn't on my first try."
"So then you know it's your ship too." The fact that those words came out of Han Solo's mouth meant that the whole galaxy must be tilting off axis. Yet he meant them.
"My life day."
He nodded. His momentary stupor upon hearing that for the first time quickly calmed. Of course the code to the Falcon would be Leia's life day. What else?
"Chewie said it's been like that since before Endor."
"Endor…" she pulled away again. "That's when he…"
Died. Han finished her sentence in his head.
Her backwards steps eventually had her calves hit the bench seat and sit down. There was no remorse or hesitation in her voice, just stone cold honesty. "And I'm glad he's dead."
Her eyes raised to Han, almost like she was seeking his admonishment for speaking something so despicable. He didn't give it to her.
"Me too."
Han felt the sad, morbid truth in those words. Leia was glad that her father was dead. And so was Han. Yet, he wouldn't have it any other way.
"He said…" Han began, knowing that Leia knew that 'he' was her brother. "Vader turned in the end, saved Luke."
She laughed, loudly and fantastically, for two great huffs. "Bantha shit."
"Yeah, complete dianoga crap."
Darth Vader. There was nothing Han could conjure up that would make this figure redeemable. And it seemed Leia felt the same.
"His blood…" she whispered as her eyes crinkled towards the ground, still deep in contemplation. "I'm his blood..."
"Maybe…" he snickered, crossing his arms and leaning back into his heels. "I knew your temper and stubbornness came from somewhere."
Her fiery eyes whipped to his faster than the beam of a blaster. "This isn't funny, Han!" She insisted. "You realize that evil blood has been passed onto Rayah!"
His eyes widened as his head bobbed. "Well it's lucky she has some of mine to balance it out."
"Han!"
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just…" he searched for the right words to douse the fire she was directing at him. "I don't see the big deal. So what if some woman fell for that mechanical strut and... that heavy breathing." Under different circumstances, he would have found amusement in that image. But he finished his thought with firm punctuation. "You're nothing like him and neither is Rayah... or any other of our kids."
"Oh gods…" He was glad when he saw the flames leave her body, but now she looked like another blow just struck.
"Look," he continued. "The old Han Solo knew about all this and still wanted you and that's not gonna change. And Rayah... wouldn't change anything about her."
"No, me neither." Leia was listening to him with her head tilted towards her lap and her fingers fidgeting with her nails.
"Han…" Her breath whispered his name when her vocal cords gave out.
He took a step towards her and raised his hand to cup her cheek in his palm. Her head moved like it was detached from her neck, no grounded ligaments or working muscles to protest.
Her lips moved again, this time finding enough pressure in her diaphragm to speak as her heavy, exhausted eyes blinked up at him. "He tortured me."
Her words killed him. He physically felt his chest restrict as if they actually pierced his heart. He couldn't look at her, couldn't bare to see the unbelievable hurt that was there. The hurt that would inevitably always be there. He took her head and pulled it into his body, her cheek coming to press into his stomach from her still seated position. "Kriff…" he whispered regretfully. "I forgot."
He felt her arms wrap around him, lock around the back of his belt. He didn't know what else to do except hold her as tightly as she was holding him. What does one do when you find out your father-in-law not only put you in carbonite, but also tortured his own daughter?
"You don't owe him anything, Leia." He shook his head as he knelt in front of her, keeping her arms wrapped around him and his hands pressed against her. "You don't need to forgive him or remember him as anything different. Nothing about him defines you. Nothing."
He watched as she bit her lip, her eyes closing on a deep inhale. "I hope you're right."
"When have I ever steered you wrong?" He chuckled as she gave him an all too familiar glare. "Don't answer that."
He felt her fingers run along his hairline and back through his scalp, gently brushing and providing her own soothing ministrations. "You know… you also have a choice in all this."
"What'd you mean?"
She swallowed as she gave him a look that was more Senator Organa than his Leia. "Just because the other Han decided to take me and all of this on doesn't mean you do too."
"Leia," he stated, as firmly as he could with as much conviction as ever before. "You're my choice." He paused as he let her hear his words. "You always were my choice. And I'll keep choosing you."
The effective, truthful words did their job. She smiled. Just a short curl at first, but it was a full and grateful grin by the time the last syllable rang from his lips.
"I'd give you a ring if you weren't already wearing it."
Hearing him mention the ring, she brought her hand back to her person to examine the jewelry. He watched as she popped the sapphire piece off her left hand.
"Well, since you probably asked last time…" She stood from the bench with a new energy and gleam in her eyes. "Sit down."
Her hand swept to the spot she just vacated. Keeping his curious eyes on her, he complied, rising from the ground and onto the side of the bench.
Just as he took her spot, she took his. Her one knee bent to the floor, upper body remaining straight as she reached for his hands, taking them reverently in hers and resting them against his knees.
"Han Solo…" she began, eyes drawn to his, locked on his. "I love you more than I can adequately put into words. You have the most giving heart I've ever seen."
He listened to her voice, so strong and confident, yet beautifully lilting with a tint of her signature verve. Gods she was perfect.
"You know me. Every time I shared a little more of who I am, afraid it would send you running, you stayed and continued to love me through it. And when you're with Rayah…" She swallowed. "She is the luckiest little girl in the world to call you her father."
Han Solo didn't cry, but this was the closest he ever came. With all the talk of fathers they had in the last minutes, his responsibility hit him hard. Her words, her encouragement, and her trust were a heavy weight to carry. But one he was oh so happy to carry.
"Han Solo…" His name had never been uttered with such love. "Will you choose me to spend the rest of your life with?"
He only had one answer. "Yes, sweetheart." He leaned forward, his forehead connecting with hers just before their lips. "I do."
As their kiss took flight, he felt the warm metal from her ring encircle his pinky finger. And then they flew. His hands came to the back of her neck and tilted her head as far back as it could go.
He made his choice long ago. On Hoth, he wanted Leia. Even at that time, he knew it was more than just an infatuation. He wanted all of her. And then… a family. He wanted this family. Leia and Rayah. He woke up on Chandrila with a ready made family.
But now, both he and Leia, were ready to choose this family. Choose this family as their future. And this seemed like a brand new start for them all.
Leia brushed her nose agains his, breaking their kiss. "Good," she smiled before inhaling one massive breath and letting it out with a rapid jumble of words.
"Also, I think I might be pregnant."