Here we are at last. Officially the last post!
Again, thank you all so much for following along with this story. I appreciate all of you. Special thanks to those of you who have left me a kind note!
Stay safe and well.
"Mommy!"
The voice of the 3-year-old rang through the bowels of the ship, echoing off the pristine white reflective walls and tiled flooring.
Han cringed at the reverberating sound and cursed himself for invoking it. His daughter was already too far away and far too energized to get her to tone it down. The damage was already done.
He heard a groggy moan from the other room, the room where Rayah Organa Solo had just entered.
"Mommy, you gotta see it!" The voice rang just as loud, even through she was fully in the other room.
It took a few moments before Han watched Rayah emerge, her hand twisted around the sleepy corpse she pulled behind her.
"Are we there already?" Leia asked, blinking her eyes to adjust to the light of the external cabin.
"We's here!" Rayah announced, stopping next to the massive windows that provided the portal to the space around them. The stars were really beautiful in the part of the Galaxy, not that that was news to Leia. She was returning home after all.
Han took in the woman from his seated position with his elbows against his knees. Even waking up from what he was sure was a fitful nap, she still looked exquisite. She wore white, trails of thin fabric gathered and cinched here and there, flowing down her front to gather at the waist and then glide elegantly on the floor behind her. He could see her back from this position, the main area of skin that was left almost completely exposed. And even from this distance, he could still see the colored marks marring her shoulder, prominently and purposefully displayed. Hair tied up to complete the look.
He stood up, heavy steps took him closer to his family. "Rayah, I said gently wake her up."
Apparently, their 3-year-old had trouble understanding the word gently. Or her excitement for their trip officially had her bursting with energy.
"Sorry, sweetheart," he apologized as he met the corner of Leia's eye. "Didn't mean to jolt you."
He watched her head shake absently, eyes firmly fixed on the area outside their space ship. "It's fine."
He hoped she noticed how bright the stars were, how they seemed to glitter evermore. How their light carried on even after death.
Rayah stood beside her mother, fingertips and nose pressed against the glass. "Is that Alderaan?"
He let Leia answer in her calm, gentle voice. "That's where it used to be, yes."
"What's that?"
Rayah pointed to their first glimpse of the huge metal pieces being welded together. It was not far off from where they were and growing by the minute. He wasn't sure what he expected to see or how he would react to seeing it again. The Death Star being reborn. It looked silver.
Leia answered Rayah's question simply, clearly guarding much deeper reactions in her own mind. "It's the space station that's being built."
Rayah seemed satisfied with that answer, it fit into her realm of knowledge. "That's where we're going. Because you need to speech at it."
Han was pulled from his rapt contemplation as he chuckled. Rayah was growing more and more every day, but he vowed to cherish her humorous attempts at basic whenever he could. "Close…"
"Yes," Leia giggled too. "I'll be making a speech to open the first section of the station they already completed."
"You got nerves." Another of Rayah's attempts at vocalization that wasn't quite right. But he knew what she meant as he watched her turn to her mother.
Leia was nervous, beyond nervous. She knew that, Han knew that, and of course their Force sensitive daughter knew that.
He watched for Leia's reply, but Rayah took over first, spreading her arms and leaning into her mother. "I'll give you a hug."
Leia's lips curled up in the corner as she leaned forward, Rayah's hug only came up to her thighs, so she crunched forward to reciprocate. "A hug helps, sweetie. Thank you."
Rayah seemed satisfied with her care as she moved onto the next thing that popped into her mind. "I'lls go check on Rye Rye." Two happy, peppy feet scrambled over the sofa and made a direct rout to the other small room that was a part of their temporary travel accommodations that the Alderaanian council put together.
"Breath."
Han didn't realize how tense he was, how his eyes were lost in their own world. He took a breath, as she asked him to, and turned to see her serene eyes on his.
"Speak for yourself," he chortled. She projected her aura of calm and peace expertly, but he knew the tension and the pain that leaked from right beneath the surface.
He spread his arms out as he stepped towards her. "I'll give you a hug."
He herd the murmur of her tone against his chest as her arms wrapped as tightly around his waist as he pressed around hers. "A hug helps…"
A hug helped, but nothing he could do would shield her from the inevitable pain and memories that stepping onto that new space station would bring. And that fact was killing him.
"Hey," he pulled back and dipped so his forehead was against hers. "You know I love you right?"
"If I didn't before, I do now." He felt her forehead roll around over his, reveling in the contact before her kiss landed on the corner of his lips. "I've thought about this before, but if I had to go and have amnesia, why couldn't these memories be wiped clean?"
"Gods I wish…" No, the amnesia didn't take the memories of the Death Star with it.
Amnesia. It had been about a year and a half since they woke up to their new lives. A year and a half spent trying to retrieve old memories while also making new memories. They succeeded more on the latter than on the previous. Every once in a while, something would evoke a feeling of familiarity; a face they thought they had seen before, a taste of a new food that seemed like an old favorite, or an emotional pull that felt far stronger than normal. But no memories returned, thus they focused on new memories with their tiny family.
Her head tilted so she could now see his face, and he hers. "How do you feel? Being back?"
How did he feel? He should be the one asking her that. He gruffed. "Nothin' but second-hand distress."
Her lips pressed together, both appreciating and chastising him. "And I love you for that, but please try and toughen up a little for me, okay. I'm going to need you in one solid piece."
"Toughen up?" He questioned smugly. "Sweetheart, who do you think you're talkin' to?"
She was firm. "A lump of putty when it comes to me or the kids."
"I'm not…" Why argue? She knew him better than he knew himself. "Fine."
He would try to control his own protective instincts and let her feel what she needed to feel when they stepped back onto the debris of the first Death Star. They would then pick up the pieces together afterwards. This was all apart of healing.
His mind shifted to the afterwards. "Just keep thinkin' about next week." He pulled her back to his chest so they were both facing the outside, swaying slightly, soothingly. "Once this is over, you're home free."
She sighed into their rhythm. "A whole week. No work calls, no appointments, no responsibilities."
"No cooking!" Han added. He was definitely finding cooking much easier than at the beginning, but he looked forward to giving it up for a week.
Her head nuzzled into his neck. "Just you and me…"
"Mommy! Daddy!"
"… And the kids."
Rayah appeared again, her voice even louder than before, if that was even possible. "He's awake I think!"
"If he wasn't then, he is now," Han grumbled into her neck before pushing away. "Coming, little princess!"
Leia turned as he walked. "Should we tell her now?"
Han shook his head emphatically with a grimace. "Wait til after. She's gonna dial her energy to an 11 after she hears we'll see real porgs there." He knew his daughter and he knew what he himself could handle. "And I'm the one who's gotta control her while you speak."
"Well thought through, Mr. Solo," she provided her smirk with a salute.
"Thank you, Mrs. Solo." His statement brought about the desired reaction. She wrinkled her nose and gave him her flirtatious eyes. It was Organa-Solo, but he liked to highlight the last part.
He hadn't made it that far from her side. Taking advantage of that, he raised his hand to clasp hers. He just so happened to pick her right hand, the same one that hosted her original ring and a new small ivy band he picked out for her to commemorate their new commitment; their choice to spend the rest of their lives together.
"You're gonna do great," he assured with all the confidence he had in her. His lips fell to her digits. "And we'll all be right beside you."
"You better be!"
"Daddy!"
The voice again broke their moment and had both parents rolling their eyes. Under different circumstances they would have corrected her demands and her tone, but neither of them had the energy, using their judgement to let this behavior slide in favor of fortifying themselves for the day to come. That was something both of them learned through being parents, choosing when to intervene and when to let it go.
Han turned to the little girl smiling her giddy smile from the doorway. Her deep auburn locks were now plenty long enough to sport some unique styles. Today, she donned a crown braid, much like Han remembered Leia's hair from Hoth. His mini-Leia was also wearing a white dress, much more covered than Leia's but very traditional and flowing.
"Rayah…" Han began only to be interrupted.
"He's awake. You gotta get him up so we can go see the new Alderaan," the mini-Leia ordered in a tone he recognized all too well.
"Sweetheart," he crooned to his daughter. "We're not rushin', okay. We need to wait for the ship to land for one thing."
She obviously didn't think about that. He took the moment of silence to redirect her.
"I'll get him. Go on out and wait with Mommy."
Rayah complied, skipping from the doorframe, around her father to find her mother.
Han was now free to try and salvage the rude awakening his son had received. From day 1 Ryse was a good sleeper, a great sleeper actually. It was waking him up that was the challenge. Han blamed the grumpy stubbornness on Leia's side of the family, Leia blamed it on him.
Either way, it took the patience of a Jedi to stick with an unhappy Ryse when he was woken up. And sometimes, it took actual Jedi in training, Leia, to pull some calming energies or something to calm him down. He quickly became attached to her hip.
"Hey, buddy." Han leaned over the portable sleeping pod where his son still laid. He saw the little body stretch and clench beneath his blanket. "You have a good nap?"
He heard the whimpers that came from the waking child. Slipping his hands under his arms, Han lifted the boy onto his hip just as he released a giant yawn.
"Thought so."
Ryse laid his head back down on his father's shoulder, still wiggling and kicking his legs halfway between his peaceful sleep and his grumpy morning persona.
Han decided to try for a distraction to keep the grumps at bay. "Let's go find that spunky sister of yours."
Walking out of the room, he immediately proceeded to where Leia and Rayah had sat themselves, Rayah in Leia's lap as they continued to stare at the construction through the portal.
"They's still building the new Alderaaan." Rayah stated her through more than questioned.
"That's right." He heard Leia's sigh. "It's here to remind everyone of the terrible loss of the planet. And to bring something good from the destruction."
"The space station is good. I like the silver."
Rayah's innocent observation and declaration seemed to soothe the mother.
"Me too," Leia concurred as she ran her hand along her daughter's back.
Typical of his developing personality, Ryse let out a whiny groan as his eyes oh so reluctantly blinked open.
Rayah's head spun towards the sound. "Ryse is up!"
"He's not too happy about it," Han stated the obvious.
"He's just like his father," Leia stated, standing up and moving over towards her son. "He's needy."
"I am not!" Han contradicted, but nobody was listening.
When Ryse came into the world, there was no denying Han Solo was his father, just as much as Leia could never deny Rayah. He had the Solo nose and chin, and now that he was almost a year old, his eyes had changed from a light blue to Han's green gray.
Another thing both Han and Ryse had in common, they were both crazy about Leia.
"Let me check with the captain on our landing plans," Leia said as she brushed past her boys, running her hand gently over her son's head as she parted.
Han felt Ryse tense in his arms, his grumps ready to burst through the surface as he let out a preliminary moan. Rayah heard the sound and must have dubbed this a new form of entertainment for her.
"Rye Rye!" She stood before her little brother her toes bouncing with excess energy. "Watch me!"
She got his attention and did a big wind-up with her upper body. She let go and spun around and around until she fell on the floor with a plop.
Ryse's whines and wiggles turned to a small, still pout watching his sister's antics.
"Look at her, buddy!" Han watched carefully. The boy calmed at his sister's sillies.
Rayah got to her feet and smiled at her brother.
"Rye Rye! Watch again!" This time she made great whooping noises as she fell and dramatically flung her feet in the air once she hit the floor, very un mini-princess like.
Ryse laugh at that, throwing his head back. Han had to balance the weight under the boy quickly so he didn't tumble from his arms. Han had gotten very good at the one arm hold technique. As the boy's laughter continued to ring through the ship, he set Ryse's feet on the floor and held his hands to help him stand. Ryse's socks hit the carpeted area and his stretchy blue shirt and pants outfit adjusted as the little boy bounced.
Rayah continued her clowning around and Ryse thought it got funnier with each fall. Han laughed because Ryse laughed and Rayah was basking in all the attention focused on her. She made all kinds of noises and fell in every position and on every piece of furniture in the room.
Eventually, the performer tired out and laid face down on the floor in front of her brother. Ryse wanted to see his sister, so he moved his feet in her direction.
He dropped his father's hands. Han held his breath as he watched. Ryse moved his chubby legs a few steps until he fell happily over Rayah's back.
"Rayah!" Han exclaimed, barely believing what he saw. "Did you see that? He walked all by himself!"
Rayah flipped herself over so Ryse was giggling on her stomach, his little grin lighting up the room. "Do it again Rye!" She exclaimed and pushed him into a sitting position.
Rayah tried to copy her father and held her brother up under his arms, but she could't quite get him to put his feet down properly. Han stepped in, walking back to his son and lifted him under his arms so his legs were under him again.
Rayah took her place a few feet away. She crouched down and patted her legs. "Rye Rye! Come here!"
The little boy put one foot in front of the other and managed a step or two before tumbling on his bottom.
"Let's try again," Han encouraged as he basked in this moment. "Leia!" He called out. He didn't want her to miss this.
"I'll get Mommy!" Rayah exclaimed charging down the hall towards the crew's cockpit to find her mother. "Mommy!" She called out loudly. Today, Rayah only had one volume level: level 10.
Leia turned the corner just as Rayah ran back in. "What is going on here?" she asked, eyes wide wondering what could warrant such attention.
Han's eyes matched her bewilderment. "You gotta see it, Sweetheart!"
He set Ryse onto his own two feet, this time facing Leia. Rayah stepped closer and Han let her help hold him up. "Go on, buddy," Han encouraged as he slowly removed his hands to let Ryse stand on his own. "Show mama what your big sister taught you." He raised his eyebrows and smiled at Rayah.
Leia made eye contact with Han and he gestured for her to kneel. "Go to Mommy!" Rayah exclaimed in her brother's ear.
Leia soon realized what his new trick was. She stood opposite her boy and crouched down. "Come here, sweet boy. Come to your mama."
His toothless grin grew when he saw her. "Ma, ma, ma!" he said clearly.
Leia let out a laugh. "Come to your mama, baby."
He began his waddle, swaying from one side to the other. He paused after three steps and wobbled.
"Stay straight. That's it! All the way!" Her face absolutely beamed with delight.
Ryse balanced himself out and walked the rest of the way, falling forwards into her awaiting arms. She gathered him to her chest and held him tight.
The entire family whooped and cheered at the milestone. Han knew that Leia was thinking the same thing. This was a first for them, they were cherishing this for both their children; for the new memory with Ryse and the forgotten memory of Rayah. It was twice as special.
Leia still held her son fast against her with her eyes shut as she stood. Han walked up to her.
She must have sensed his presence without having to open her eyes. "He's growing up. My baby's not a baby anymore."
Han smirked at his wife. "The kid'll always be a mama's boy." He brought his hand to his son's head. "Isn't that right, buddy?"
Ryse lifted his head from her shoulder and grinned at his father before dipping back into her. He moved his fingers through the gathered front of her dress.
"I's helped too!" Rayah gladly took credit for her part in this accomplishment.
"You certainly did!" Han cheered as he lifted the 3-year-old high above his head to more giggles from his girl. He wouldn't be able to do that for much longer. They were both growing up.
Leia looked at her husband through her eyelashes and over Ryse's shoulder. "I've decided they're not going to grow any more. We'll keep them just like this."
Han smiled at her unobtainable wish. "Alright, your worship. We'll work on that."
A family of four. Han couldn't believe it. Somedays, he would wake up and expect to be shaken from this dream. Expected to wake up back on Hoth with frozen hands and an empty hole in his heart waiting to be filled.
But each morning when he blinked awake, he was greeted by a growing young boy with his eyes, a growing young girl with her mother's hair, and a fierce, dazzling princess that said she loved him.
Space was a curious thing; curious, mysterious, and wonderful.
To think that he was lucky enough for his lifespan to overlap with this exquisite princess, that she loved him as much as he loved her, and that their resilience and love brought together the perfect family.
How rare and beautiful that this story existed.