AN: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Some of you might be wondering why I did what I did with the last chapter. Well, I noticed that the story has a LOT of scenes where the Force links Rey and Ben when they're in bed and neither one seeming to suppress any sexual urges. It doesn't necessarily mean Rey won't get into a romantic relationship with Ben or Finn - she just isn't interested in the sex part, that's all. Ben is slightly on the more sexual side of the asexual spectrum, but he's more "he can take it or leave it" with sex - it's not an important aspect of life for him.

So yeah, I'm not going to apologize for not including the expected Reylo sex scene - and like I said, this doesn't necessarily mean they don't love each other romantically - I did what felt right for this story.

"Dyad's Blessing, Dyad's Curse"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 41

Rey fell asleep with her head resting on Ben's chest, and though her weight was pressing down on him, he didn't want to move her, especially since she could vanish at any moment. He ran his fingers through her hair, listening to her deep breathing, trying to let her soothing presence lull him to sleep as well. But no matter how much he focused on her, he couldn't forget that she wasn't actually here, that here was a cold prison cell, that he might be here for the rest of his life and the rest of his life might not be long.

No, no, don't think about that, think about something else . . .

Rey said she was asexual.

Well, that was as good a distraction as any. What did normal people do when the ones they loved revealed something like that? Not that he'd ever been any good at pretending to be normal, though. And was he asexual too? She was lying on top of him and nothing was happening in his private areas – was that a sign of what he was? He thought of his parents – their lingering kisses, the sensual looks they gave each other – and he wished that having to say Mom, Dad, I think I might be asexual, but there's still a girl I like could be his biggest concern.

"Mom? Dad?" The whisper came out unintentionally. "Where are you?" His heart was thumping under Rey's head. "You talked to me before – why aren't you talking to me now?" He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice, but a tiny sob escaped nonetheless. "Why? Please . . . please . . . let me hear you . . ."

Rey groaned in her sleep, making Ben inadvertently hold his breath, wondering if she was dreaming about his memories. Did they have to both be asleep in order to swap memories?

Or maybe she was dreaming about the interrogation.

His throat tightened and another sob escaped. "What do you think you're doing?" that silent voice of his doubts said. "You think you can fall in love like a normal person? Do you seriously think for even a second that a monster like you deserves love?"

Monster, Rey had screamed that at him and he'd affirmed it. He ground his teeth, scrunching his eyes, concentrating on not letting his body tremble when Rey was sleeping on him. "You should be dead," the silent voice pressed. "How many lives have you ended? Hundreds? Thousands? How can you live while they're dead?"

A shiver that had nothing to do with the cold rushed through his body, jolting Rey slightly, though she didn't awaken. "Murderer," the silent voice said. "Murderer, murderer, murderer . . ." The word looped in his head like a song – a depressing, mournful song. "Murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer murderer murderer murderer MURDERER!"

A small cry escaped as he clutched Rey's body like a drowning man clutching a life raft. "Murderer murderer murderer . . ." Now the word was pounding his skull to the point where he thought he felt actual pain, filling his being with the truth.

Rey vanished, leaving him alone.

. . .

"NO! NO! STOP!"

Finn jolted awake to the familiar screams of his roommate that frequently reminded him of why he and Poe were still sharing a room even though Pooja had offered them individual rooms.

He didn't want Poe to suffer the nightmares alone.

"No . . . I won't tell you anything . . . NO!"

Finn got out of bed and made his way to Poe's bed, gently shaking his friend's shoulder. "Poe? Poe, wake up! You're having the nightmare again!"

Poe gasped awake and Finn turned on the lamp, revealing the pilot's tear-stained face. "Finn . . ." he whispered between pants, ". . . I'm sorry . . ."

"Why are you apologizing?" asked Finn, sitting on the edge of Poe's bed. "It's not your fault that Kylo tortured you!"

"So now he's Kylo again?" Poe asked, a slight smirk peeking through his gasps.

"He was Kylo when he did that to you," said Finn, wishing he could figure out how to take away the nightmares from both Poe and Rey. "As for who he is now – I don't know about that."

Poe sniffled, running his pajama sleeve under his nose. "Do you think we're doing the right thing? Trusting the info he gave us and all?"

"We're not trusting him," said Finn.

"We're sending scouts to the worlds he named, aren't we? If it turns out that he was playing us and they end up walking into a trap, their blood's on our hands."

"No," said Finn, rapidly shaking his head, "their blood's on his hands!"

"Our hands!" Poe insisted, staring at Finn with red eyes. "We're the ones who decided to go to him for info."

Finn gulped, trying not to see the sense in his words. "Well . . . you trust Rey, don't you? She's got that Force dyad thing with him and she says he's changed his ways . . ."

"And what if he's playing her too?" Poe interrupted.

"Poe," said Finn, "our scouts are well-trained and we told them to expect a trap. They can handle themselves."

Poe swallowed, his hands gripping the blankets, his forehead glistening with sweat. "So many people died in the war. People I chatted with at meals, people I ran into in the hangar, people whose names I didn't even know but I got used to seeing their faces . . . dead!"

BB-8 had been sitting in the corner, shut down for the night, but as if he'd sensed his master's turmoil, he suddenly reactivated and rolled over to the bed. Though Finn didn't fully understand the droid's beeping language, the concern in his tone was obvious.

"Yeah, little buddy," said Poe, wiping his eyes. "I'm tired of death, I'm tired."

Finn wrapped his arms around Poe. "I was raised to kill and I chose a different path. Maybe he has too, I don't know, but we need to make sure the First Order doesn't rise again."

"I know," sobbed Poe. "I just don't want to send more people to their deaths."

BB-8 gave a sad beep. Finn didn't know what to say since he couldn't truthfully assure his friend that no one else was going to die, so he simply tightened his embrace, letting Poe draw comfort from his touch.