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"Dyad's Blessing, Dyad's Curse"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 42

Ben might have dozed a little bit during the night – he wasn't sure, but he was definitely awake when the prison lights came back on. He rubbed his eyes, blinking at the ceiling, wondering what would happen now. Did they have morning inspection here like in holoshows? Would he be put to work making license chips for speeders? Or would he just never leave this cell at all?

He dressed back in the prison uniform, which was starting to smell a little. Surely they'd at least provide him with clean clothes, right? There wasn't a washing machine or a laundry chute in the cell, after all.

At least there was a toilet.

It was while he was washing his hands when the guards appeared at the forcefield again, one deactivating it while the others crowded around Ben and put the binders on his wrists without letting him dry his hands first. "Are we going to see the warden again?" he asked, shaking his wet hands as best he could in the binders.

"Yes," said the lead guard, his voice gruff, though he wouldn't look Ben in the eye. "Along with your counselor."

"Counselor?" No one had told him about a counselor, but then again, no one had told him much of anything.

The guard continued to not tell him anything as they led him out of the cell and down the hall, weapons always at the ready.

. . .

Instead of the warden's office, the guards escorted him to an open room furnished with large, overstuffed couches around a caf table, on which there sat a plate of scrambled eggs and toast and a glass of jogan juice. The warden sat on a couch in front of the caf table, along with an orange-skinned male Zabrak in a cream-colored bodysuit, holding a small datapad.

"Have a seat and help yourself," Warden Zimmer said in her clipped voice.

The guards removed Ben's binders so he could sit on the couch opposite from the warden and the Zabrak. Once again, hunger overtook desire to ask questions and Ben picked up the plate and took a large forkful of egg.

"This is Krain Avan," said the warden, nodding in the Zabrak's direction. "He's our prison counselor and you will be having sessions with him."

"And who said I needed a counselor?" Ben said with his mouth full.

"Your doctor from the hospital contacted us," Krain said in a deep, understanding voice.

"Renda?" Ben asked, a sudden twitch in his nerves.

"Yes," said Krain. "She seemed quite concerned about your mental health."

The eggs suddenly got stuck in Ben's throat, forcing him to swallow a second time as he blinked rapidly to keep himself from crying at the thought of his doctor's gesture. He had to take a long gulp of juice before he could speak. "I-I had therapy as a child, before Mom and Dad sent me . . . th-they thought it would help me control my powers so they wouldn't have to send me . . . but it didn't do much good . . ."

"I understand," said Krain. "Many inmates are skeptical at first, but they find in time that it really helps to have someone to talk to."

"Someone to talk to," Ben repeated, having to restrain himself from saying I can talk to Rey. It probably wasn't a good idea to tell anyone here about the dyad. He took a deep breath. "Aren't therapy sessions supposed to be confidential? Are we going to do this with the warden and all these guards here?"

"I can leave," said the warden, "but the guards have to stay for safety reasons."

"Safety reasons." Ben felt his brow tighten. "So you think that if I'm left alone with him, I'll Force-choke him, is that it?"

No sooner had he said it than a cold blaster barrel pressed against his neck as the warden glared at him. "Be careful, Mr. Solo," she said. "Misbehavior is not tolerated here and you may very well find that your behavior here could influence what happens at your trial."

"All right," said Krain, raising a hand as if trying to stop a fight before turning to the warden. "Kay, why don't you leave the room so we can get started."

Warden Zimmer nodded and stood up without looking at Ben, not giving him much time to process that her first name was apparently "Kay" before Krain leaned forward in his direction.

"Now, Ben," the counselor said as if there weren't seven or eight guards circling Ben's couch, "how would you say your mood is right now?"

"Terrified," Ben said without thinking.

Krain nodded. "And what would you say you're terrified of?"

Ben's lips curled. "I'm in prison and awaiting a trial – what do you think I'm terrified of?"

"A looming trial is a scary thing," said Krain, typing something into his datapad, "but would you say that's the only thing you're scared of?"

"No," Ben said between bites of toast, "but if we listed everything I'm afraid of we'd be here all day." He tried not to think about how the voices in his head used to say his fear made him weak and the dark side was necessary to overcome his fear.

"I see," said Krain, but he didn't press the matter. "How are you sleeping?"

"Not well. I have nightmares."

"I see," Krain repeated with a slight nod, his yellow eyes looking down to type something else on his datapad. "Would you like to tell me what you dream about?"

"My parents," Ben said automatically, shifting his gaze to the half-eaten breakfast. "I dream about my parents a lot, especially of when they abandoned me on Jakku."

"Jakku?" The counselor sounded surprised for the first time. "Why do you think you dream about Jakku?"

"Because that's where my parents left me . . . no, wait, they didn't, I'm . . . I'm mixed up."

"That's all right," Krain said in a kindly voice. "Maybe you dream about them leaving you on Jakku because Jakku represents something in your subconscious."

"Maybe . . ." said Ben, unwilling to look the Zabrak in the eye. He was not going to talk about the dyad with the guards present.

Not even when his stomach knotted at the idea that his slip might have been more than just a slip.

"Would you like to talk about your parents?" Krain asked.

A lump formed in Ben's throat. "They're dead . . . because of me." His eyes welled up at the memory of Han's shocked, devastated face, red in the lightsaber's glow. "My dad . . . he came to me, invited me to come home, a-and I . . ."

He broke down crying.

. . .

One moment Rey and Finn were eating breakfast together at the hotel restaurant, the next moment Rey was overtaken by sobs so intense that she had to spit out her hotcake into her napkin.

"Rey?" Finn shouted, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Rey, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Dad . . ." she choked out.

"What?"

"Dad . . . I killed Dad . . ."

"What?"

Rey blinked at him as if waking from a dream, shifting her eyes from side to side as if trying to get her bearings. "No . . . I didn't," she said, gripping the side of her head and wiping her eyes, "but . . . Ben! I need to see Ben!"

"Now wait a minute, we've got meetings after breakfast . . ."

"I need to see him now!"

Without waiting for his response, she leapt out of her chair and went running out of the restaurant, leaving Finn and her unfinished breakfast behind.