AN: Thanks as always for reading and reviewing!
"Dyad's Blessing, Dyad's Curse"
By EsmeAmelia
Chapter 52
Beep BEEP! Beep BEEP! Beep BEEP!
Jannah groaned, having been pulled from a nice sleep by the comm beeping. Next to her, Rose groaned in a similar manner. "Ignore it," Rose mumbled, pulling the covers over her head. "They can call back later."
But the beeping persisted, causing the former stormtrooper's bleary eyes to blink open to the early dawn light. "Maybe it's important," she grumbled. "I'd better answer it."
"Jannah," Rose whispered as she peeked out from under the covers.
"What?"
"You're naked."
Jannah felt her cheeks heat up at the realization that she'd forgotten that little fact. "Well, so are you."
An embarrassed glance passed between them before they both burst into sleepy giggles. Jannah quickly pulled the blankets up to cover her breasts so she'd be decent enough to answer the comm, since whoever was on the other side clearly wasn't giving up.
"Hello?"
The hologram of the medical droid who'd taken her DNA samples the other day popped out of the comm. "Jannah," he said in his deep, emotionless voice, "my apologies for contacting you so early in the morning, but this is important."
Jannah's stomach did a sudden flip, all thoughts of sleep drained from her mind as Rose gently touched her back. "What?"
"We have found a match to your DNA."
. . .
"NO! NO! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"
The screams jolted Ben out of sleep. His eyes shot open to find Rey lying inches away from him, bathed in the dim red light that told him it wasn't officially wake-up time in the prison yet. Her shut eyes were emitting tears and her covers were twisted around her body.
"GET OUT! GET OUT!"
"Rey?" His suddenly-dry mouth couldn't produce anything more than a whisper and his heart was beating so fast that he thought he could hear it. "Rey, please wake up."
"STOP! STOP! NO!"
He shivered, wanting to wake her, but should he wake her when she was dreaming of . . . that? Even after confessing love, seeing his face in the middle of that dream could . . .
"NO! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"
"Wake up!" Again his voice came out in a whisper. "Please Rey, wake up!"
Finally she gasped mid-scream as her eyes opened. One blink, two blinks, three blinks, staring at him in horror.
"Rey, I . . ."
She rolled away from him as if ducking a blasterbolt, a choking sob escaping as she tightened the covers around her.
"Rey?"
"Please," she whispered in a raspy voice. "I love you, Ben, but I . . . I need a minute."
Ben swallowed as he silently rolled over to face the wall despite every instinct within him wanting to hold her, kiss her, wipe away her tears, take away her pain. Why did he torture her and everyone else? Why, why, why?
She sobbed again and he had to stop himself from rolling back over and wrapping his arms around her. A minute . . . she needed a minute . . . he wasn't going to make this even worse . . .
He wished he could will himself to disappear, wished he could move away from her without making both of them sick, wished he'd never tortured her!
"Ben?" Her voice was raspy, but a bit steadier.
Ben took a deep breath. "Maybe we shouldn't be together."
"Don't say that."
"What if it's the truth? I tortured you – there's no way around it."
"It was Kylo Ren who did that."
Ben found himself biting his lip until he tasted blood. "No, Kylo Ren is dead. My son is alive." His father's spirit had made it sound so simple, like Kylo Ren was a separate entity that had possessed his body.
Except it wasn't that simple.
"If I'm not Kylo Ren, then why am I in prison for the things he did?" he whispered, blinking back tears in a fierce, useless manner. "Why do the memories of being him still haunt me every minute of every day?"
He felt Rey's hand on his shoulder. "Ben, this won't be easy for either of us – I'm not going to pretend it will be – but we can make it work."
Finally he rolled back around to face her, seeing her eyes glistening in the eerie red light. "I-I want to hug you," he whispered. "Hold you, cuddle you, take the hurt away . . . but I'll make things worse if I do that." He couldn't stop the tears from dribbling down his face.
Rey didn't agree, but she didn't argue either. Instead, she took in a long inhale as if about to make a public speech. "These nightmares . . . I don't know if they'll ever stop, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you." She brushed her finger over his chin. "Neither of us can change the past and maybe . . . maybe I'll always need a minute after dreaming about it." She swallowed loudly. "But I'll still want you – you, Ben, who's not Kylo anymore – when that minute's over."
Some part of Ben wanted to protest about how she could comfort him after nightmares, how her embrace helped him get through so many hard nights and he wanted to help her in a similar way, but another part of him realized that maybe the best way to help her was to give her that bit of space. "All right," he said. "I can give you that minute. I can give you an hour, a day, whatever helps you."
A slight smile broke onto her face. "Thank you," she whispered before running her hand down his cheek. "By the way," she added, "tonight's minute is up now."
They wrapped their arms around each other.
. . .
Jannah felt like her feet would slide out from under her if it weren't for Rose walking by her side as they made their way down the hall of the senate building to the familiar meeting room.
"You can do this," Rose kept repeating, her arm around her girlfriend. "You can do this." She brushed her free hand over her crescent pendant. "If Paige were alive, she'd say this is the beginning of a whole new stage of your life."
"But will I like this stage?" Jannah blurted out. "I've been Jannah so long . . ."
"And you're still Jannah," said Rose. "Learning the name you were born with won't change that."
Far too soon, they reached the meeting room, where Pooja was there to greet them outside the door, a warm smile on her face.
"Jannah," she said, "congratulations!"
The congratulations only tightened the knots in her stomach. "Are you guys sure it was a match?"
"Yes," said Pooja. "The droids ran the data several times – we wouldn't have called you if we weren't sure." She took a deep breath. "Would you like a moment before we go in?"
Did she want a moment? Was it better for her nerves to gather herself or to just go in there and get it over with? Why was the prospect of meeting her birth parents frightening her more than invading an unknown Sith world had?
Now Rose was running her hand up and down Jannah's back. "It's all right, I'm here, you can do this."
For a moment Jannah closed her eyes, absorbing her girlfriend's massage and her words. Yes, she could do this . . . if she could rebel against her lifelong brainwashing, she could face her birth parents.
"All right," she finally said, opening her eyes. "I'm ready."
With that, Pooja nodded and pushed the button to open the door. The three entered the room, Rose's arm once more around Jannah's shoulders.
The room was empty, except for . . .
. . . General Calrissian?
He stared at Jannah as if seeing her for the first time, blinking fiercely as if making sure he wasn't dreaming, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Ava . . ." he sobbed. "My little Ava."