AN: Thanks as always for reading and reviewing!

"Dyad's Blessing, Dyad's Curse"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 56

As was typical, the Force linked Rey and Ben that night. Rey used the opportunity to tell Ben what she had suggested to the generals and how he might get a chance to go on the mission to Geonosis. As she spoke, it felt like his chest was in a brace that was tightening more and more with every word, to the point that by the time he was finished, he was cocooned in the blanket as if it could protect him from the outside world.

"Ben?" Rey asked, placing her hand on his head.

"Pretend to be Kylo Ren?" Ben gasped.

"Only for a little while," said Rey. "Think about it – you could order the children moved, you could find out where else the First Order remnants might be hiding, you could stop them once and for all!"

Ben thought about it. He thought about donning that dominant, threatening persona again, striking fear into people by merely looking at them, watching them cower before him. He remembered believing for years that he was a man to be feared, not loved, that it was impossible for anyone, even his parents, to love him as he was now.

The red flames impaling his father . . .

"Ben?" Rey repeated.

Only then did Ben realize he was trembling. "I-I don't think I can do it," he whispered.

"I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it . . ."

Now Rey was running her fingers through his hair. "Ben, I know it will be hard, but I'll be there."

Ben placed his shaking hand on top of Rey's. "Hard? I can handle hard, but this is beyond just being hard. In order to convince everyone, I'd have to . . . I'd have to be Kylo Ren again."

"Kylo Ren is dead." She said it with the same forcefulness and confidence that Han did.

"So were you," said Ben. "And yet here you are."

"Because of you." Rey gave his sweaty forehead a gentle kiss. "And you won't be alone."

"I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it . . ."

He peeled her hand off his cheek and brought it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles one by one, closing his eyes as he did so. "I couldn't keep a fake prisoner by my side all the time. If anything happened to you . . ."

"I'll take that risk," Rey interrupted.

Those words caused Ben's heart to ram against his ribs as he remembered embracing her dead body, looking into those beautiful eyes staring up at nothing, his mind crying no, no, not her, NOT HER! The answer had seemed so simple then. His life for hers, more than a fair trade.

"Ben?"

He opened his eyes, once again looking into those gorgeous eyes he loved, slightly reflecting the dim red light as if she were actually in the cell with him. "What?"

"Can you promise me something?"

His heart rammed against his ribs again. "What sort of promise?"

"If . . . if something does happen to me, don't bring me back to life again."

"What?"

"I mean it," Rey said in a steady, serious voice. "I want you to live."

"Live without you?" The words came out in a near-sob, his throat suddenly feeling tight.

"If it comes to that, yes." Her stare weighed down on him as she once more ran her fingers through his hair. "And don't say you can't live without me because I know you can. You're stronger than you think."

"I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it . . ."

Ben felt his eyes welling up, blurring her beautiful gaze. "You don't know what it was like," he whispered. "Seeing you dead . . ." Then there was also the fact that she hadn't listened to him when he asked her to let him die. "I can't make that promise."

An awkward silence followed. Ben sensed disappointment flowing from Rey, but how could he possibly promise that he would allow her to stay dead? "Could you make that sort of promise to me?" he whispered after what might have been several minutes of silence.

He heard her swallow. "No," she admitted.

"Then don't ask me to," said Ben, wrapping his arms around her.

Rey let out an exhale as she spread part of her covers over him and nestled her head into his chest, enveloping him in warmth and making him wish he could enjoy the warmth without always being on edge that she would disappear at any moment and take the warmth with her. Maybe the old Jedi Order would consider it dark side to not be able to make such a promise, but did that really matter anymore?

"By the way," Rey said suddenly, as if she'd only just remembered something, "Lando found his daughter."

Ben drew in a sudden breath. "Ava," he whispered, remembering that chubby, happy baby. "Where was she?"

Now Rey was grinning, her eyes shining in the dim red light. "It's a really interesting story, actually."

As she told him about how Ava grew up into the defected stormtrooper Jannah, Ben felt his eyes well up again. Though he knew Ava – or Jannah – probably wanted nothing more to do with him, he would still find some way to apologize to her.

. . .

"Poe! Poe! Wake up!"

Poe jolted awake, finding himself once again wrapped up in Finn's arms, his covers twisted around his legs, his face soaked with sweat. "Finn," he gasped. "I . . ."

"Shh," Finn whispered. "It's okay. Just breathe."

Poe breathed, in and out, in and out, but still part of him felt Kylo Ren ripping through his mind . . .

"Why'd I let Rey talk me into this?"

Finn ran his hand through Poe's hair. "We don't have to bring it up at tomorrow's meeting."

"But maybe Rey's right and it is the best way to avoid more death." Poe sniffled, wiping his nose with his pajama sleeve. "I just wish I could be sure."

"Well . . . you weren't sure about me at the beginning, but you still gave me a chance."

"That's different," said Poe. "You . . . you're good. I mean, just look at what you're doing right now." He nuzzled himself against Finn's chest. "With how much you've been comforting both me and Rey, don't forget to save a little comfort for yourself."

"I'm all right," said Finn.

"C'mon," said Poe, "I know what heartbreak feels like. You're hurting more than you let on."

Finn didn't answer, confirming Poe's statement.

"I'm sorry," said Poe, wrapping his own arms around Finn. "I wish I could take your pain away."

"It's not your fault," Finn muttered. "It's not Rey's fault either. It just . . . happened."

It just happened. Poe found himself gulping as he squeezed Finn, listening to his heartbeat, wanting to tell Finn just how amazing he thought he was, but he restrained himself. Now wasn't the time, not when he was still getting over Rey. Then there was the fact that after Zorii, Poe wasn't sure if his own heart was ready for another relationship.

Yet as he felt himself drifting off, the words I love you were on his tongue, though they remained unsaid as sleep took him.