Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters from the Inuyasha show. Those all belong to Rumiko Takahashi & her brilliant mind. I also do not own any of the music that will be mentioned, I will credit every artist at the beginning of every chapter!

I was literally in the middle up finishing up editing this & posting it when I got an important phone call, sorry again for the delay! I'm gonna be better I promise!

TW: mentions of drugs, alcoholism, vomiting, and attempted assault

Song for this Chapter:

Too Far Gone by The Plot In You

One Year Later

It was a small ryokan, not one Kagome would usually find herself in but here she was nonetheless. She stopped in for a bite to eat, and a warm place to sleep. Kagome was seated on a navy blue zabuton in the guest room, a cup of nearly empty sake sat in front of her.

It had been weeks since Kagome slept under a roof, she'd left the sōhei monastery with only her bag and weapons. The monastery was in the northern territory, high up on a mountain. The warrior Buddhists who owned the monastery trained Kagome with a sword, improved her marksmanship, and honed her priestess powers. Feeling more confident than ever, and realizing the warriors couldn't teach her anything more, Kagome had decided to move onward. She thanked the Buddhists endlessly, and promised to take care of herself. There had been a few friendships formed there, but none so present it kept Kagome from moving forward. Friendships would just hold Kagome back now anyway.

There was no destination in mind, so she traveled south, when that grew tiresome she traveled west. The land was still peaceful, but Kagome came across weak demons now and then. Typically Kagome would start a fire and sleep under the captivating night sky, which was all good and well until recently. The weather was growing colder with each passing day, any attempts at a fire proved futile in keeping her warm throughout the night. This issue prompted Kagome to find more comfortable sleeping arrangements. Bouncing around from village to village, Kagome would never stay longer than a week at every destination. Occasionally she'd help around the village, giving her blessings, healing the villagers and performing purifications. Nothing challenging ever came Kagome's way. On her recent travels, she found this ryokan, tucked away in the far end of a small village that needed minimal help.

The wonder waived her room fees for the week, in awe that a such a powerful Miko chose her ryokan to stay at. The ryokan was humble, it had three buildings, one with the guest room, Kagome was unsure of the last buildings purpose.

"Excuse me, Miko, those weary soldiers have bought you a drink." The elderly owner had placed a fresh cup of sake in front of Kagome and gestured to a couple of soldiers across the room. The woman had to be nearly 100, she was wearing a light blue kimono with dark blue embellishments. It's a wonder how she was able to keep up with the place.

"Ah, thank you," Kagome replied, bowing her head to the owner, and then bowing in the direction of the soldiers. A grin broke out across the soldier's faces, they all looked the same to Kagome. Wearing worn down the armor, covered in dirt, with some lords emblem beaten into their armor. All soldiers loaded the same to Kagome, all fighting someone else's senseless war.

Truthfully, Kagome didn't want another drink, this would be her fourth and she wasn't keen on getting overly intoxicated. She'd had her fair share of long nights vomiting endlessly. Refusing the drink would be insulting, so, despite her better instincts, she sipped the drink slowly.

Nothing better than some warm sake on a night like this, except maybe a warm bath. Man, I'd love to soak in a hot spring right now, maybe they have a bathhouse?

Kagome's excitement rose with the thought of taking a hot bath. Hot springs were hard to come across in the west, at least the part of the west she was in. Kagome usually found herself taking 5 minutes in the frigid rivers to clean up, strictly washing the essentials, and not taking time to enjoy herself.

"Excuse me sama," Kagome stopped the owner, "Do you have an onsen?"

"Oh yes, it's around back. Be mindful Miko, it is the night after all." The owner smiled and bowed before tending to the other guests.

I wish something was out here, it's been a while since I had a good fight.

Kagome stood flattening her clothes, she wore her traditional Miko garb today. It wasn't her first choice, but she didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to herself. After one step Kagome felt slightly dizzy and her mind clouded, she took a moment to compose herself before continuing to her room.

Clouds scattered the sky, only allowing moonlight to shine through now and then. The cool air kissed Kagome's face, the temperature change shocked Kagome initially. It was almost stifling in the guest room, outside was nearly freezing. As she walked down the stone path the cold comforted her and cleared her mind some.

Man, I guess I drank too much, I really shouldn't have had that last drink. Kagome sighed audibly. I guess the damage is done, god I'm so ready for a nice warm bath.

Eager to get warm Kagome sped up the pace to her room, and once inside she bustled over to her yellow bag. Sorting through her bag she pulled out a pair of old pajamas, raggedy but comfy pants, and a big t-shirt, to change into after her bath. She got used to the looks people shot her way when she wore these clothes, nothing bothered her anymore. Kagome had run out of her shampoo a long time ago, and was gifted a bottle of oil from the women in a previous village. The oil would help her hair grow strong, and she could even use it on her skin. Kagome was overjoyed to find some kind of pampering for her poor, dry hair. Once everything had been gathered and she stood back up, the dizziness came back with a vengeance she lost her balance again and dropped her armful of supplies.

Damn it Kagome, you know what happens when you drink. Stupid stupid stupid! Okay girl you got this, the bath with help.

Kagome grasped for her composure, begging it to come back, when it begrudgingly did, she scooped up her belongings and exited her room. Enjoying the walk to the bathhouse, though she was cold, the air was still refreshing. Kagome overheard the soldiers from earlier being quite loud in the main building, laughing, yelling and arguing it seemed like.

Idiots, it's like they have no manners. You'd think being in an army would teach them something, I hope they don't cause any trouble for that poor woman.

Finally reaching the onsen, Kagome was overjoyed to find it empty and segregated by gender. Usually, the onsen's were unisex, anyone could bathe together. Kagome always tried her best to avoid those, she didn't like undressing in front of a bunch of strange men, or women at that.

It was an intimate onsen, the floors were made from dark hardwood with grey stone lining the large bathtubs in the room supplying comfortable air. The five bathtubs were dug into the ground, each one lined with small lanterns providing a subtle glow.

Tapping one finger on her chin Kagome contemplated which tub to settle herself, finally, she decided the rub farthest from the door would be best. She'd be able to see any incoming intruders or unwelcome guests. These days Kagome never left herself unarmed. Slipping her Miko attire off, she folded it neatly and set it next to the tub, placing her tanto on top and within arms reach. Her pajamas lay unruly beside her as well.

Kagome slid easily into the water, sighing delightfully as the warm water embraced her.

Oh man, this is just what I needed.

Kagome studied her legs and feet under the water, she could see the blurry outlines of small scars left from training and battle. There were a few on her upper body as well, she hadn't gotten a fresh wound in quite some time though. She had become a quite formidable opponent, never allowing an enemy to strike her. Running a hand over her knees she felt the old scars, from when she jumped into the Bone Eaters Well, though they weren't deep abrasions, neglecting to tend to them left faint scars. Similarly with her hands, though those were even fainter.

The memories started to seep back into her mind, it had been a little over a year since Inuyasha broke her. Kagome was never allowed to process how she felt, and she had no intention of doing so. It was more favorable for her to turn her emotions off than deal with them. Despite her determination, sometimes her sadness would overwhelm her. Thinking alcohol would numb the pain, Kagome let herself slip for a while. Spiraling into the cruel cycle of addiction, Kagome went off the deep end for a few months. There was rarely a day she was sober, she was just fortunate enough to be found before she died.

One of the Buddhist warriors, who was never revealed to Kagome, found her in a drunken stupor. A demon was approaching her ready to devour her, the Buddhist fought the demon off and carried the drunken Miko to their temple. They took care of Kagome while she detoxed, and took her under their wing. They taught her to fight with a sword, she meditated daily and learn spiritual abilities Kaede would never be able to teach her. Kagome owed the Buddhists her life, she surely would have died of her stupidity if they hadn't found her.

I never thought I'd end up like this.

As quickly as they started to return, Kagome shut the memories back out. Not allowing them to taint her much needed relaxation. Kagome sunk under the inviting water, holding her breath until she couldn't anymore. Re-emerging she grabbed her small bottle of Camellia oil, the closest thing she could find to shampoo since she ran out. She soaked her hair from roots to end in the rejuvenation oil. Wanting to enjoy the water a bit longer, she leaned her head back and fell into a peaceful slumber.

A familiar shiver ran down Kagome's spine, startling her awake.

No, it couldn't be.

Kagome threw out her reiki, frantically searching for the yoki that assaulted her sleeping form, and she found nothing.

It was just a dream, it had to have been. Ugh, I feel like shit.

It was late, Kagome didn't know when she fell asleep, or how long she'd been asleep. Her pruning skin and her stiffening hair told her hair everything she needed to know. Sitting up slowly, Kagome had a pounding headache, and a wave of nausea hit her like a freight train. Taking a few deep breaths Kagome clambered out of the warm water, threw on her pajamas and collected her remaining belongings in her arms. Chanting a mini prayer as she exited the onsen, she hoped she could sleep off this god awful feeling.

The moon was hidden behind more clouds, they seemed to multiply filling the sky to its brim. The wind was bitter, chilling Kagome and her damp hair.

I need to move my ass, it's too cold for these clothes.

Kagome kept a quick pace, the walk wasn't long but the weather made it seem like an eternity. The cold wasn't helping her head either, every step she took caused her head to pound with more ferocity until she got physically sick from the pain. Doubling over Kagome unleashed the contents of her stomach beside the stone path. Retching until she dry-heaved, Kagome's stomach fought with every heave. Praying to the Kami's for mercy, Kagome was too disoriented to notice the figures creeping up on her. In a better condition, Kagome would have never been caught off guard, not like before.

"We've heard stories of the formidable Shikon Miko, how she slew the demon Naraku and became a traveling warrior."

"Who knew she'd be so easy to take down."

"They certainly left out how beautiful you are Miko."

The soldiers from earlier had surrounded her, exchanging lustful looks and praising their luck.

"Our lord just wanted us to kill you, but you are just too delectable to pass up. I wonder how loud we can make you scream, you worthless little bitch."

"What odd clothes you have on, surely you'll look better with them off. I'm itching to see that slender body of yours, Miko."

Kagome knew she was in no condition to fight, but she knew she needed to try anyway. As if she'd even let lowlifes like them touch her.

"You'll be dead before you lay a finger on me." Gathering her strength Kagome drew her tanto, slicing into the man on her right. His innards fell onto the cold ground before he knew what had even happened.

Springing up Kagome held her tanto in front of her in a defensive stance. The movement was too quick for Kagome's body however, her vision blurred in protest and she stumbled sideways. One of the soldiers saw this as a prime opportunity to strike her. A hard slap stung her left cheek, knocking her backward.

Bastards.

"It's futile to fight back Miko, we slipped a drug into the drink you foolishly drank, concocted just for you. Made by our lord's brilliant hand, just give up."

"If you stop fighting back we'll be gentle with you," one soldier chuckle, "until we kill you."

"Hah, I spent too long rolling over for pigs like you, if you think I'll give up you have me pegged wrong." Kagome grit her teeth and solidified her form to the best of her ability. Drawing her tanto back up she kept her eyes trained on the two men in front of her.

"Is that so?" A new voice whispered behind Kagome, she didn't have a moment to react before she was struck across the back of her head.

Blood filled her mouth, she had pierced her tongue with that blow. Spitting a mouthful of blood out her vision blurred again, nausea hitting her full force.

"Three on one, are you that scared of one small woman? Weak, only a coward would strike someone from behind." Kagome taunted, a blood filled smile forming.

A hard blow struck her ribs, one after another they kept coming. Kagome felt several bones crack, presumably breaking, but she wouldn't be able to tell right now.

"That as hard as you can kick? I've had children do more harm, no wonder you have to tag team me." Kagome mocked again.

"Shut up bitch!" Another blow to the body, making her cough up more blood onto the ground.

"Enough, let's teach her a lesson." One of the soldiers grabbed a handful of Kagome's hair and forced her on her knees, another standing in front of her grabbed her face in his calloused hands. The sound of metal and leather rustling pushed Kagome to keep fighting.

She gathered her reiki into her hand, swinging her fist directly into the man in front of her. Of course, the reiki wouldn't have the purifying effect as it would on a demon, but the force still threw the man backward. He slumped against a tree, seemingly unconscious.

"Stupid bitch." One of the last remaining soldiers spat, sprinkling her face with saliva. He proceeded to punch her square in the face, bringing spots into her vision.

"Fuck it, let's just kill her. She's more trouble than she's worth." The soldier gripping her hair growled, throwing her forward so she landed flat against the cold stone.

"Fine. You owe me a good time." The other soldier agreed.

Kagome heard the sound of their swords being pulled from their sheaths. She knew this was her end. Initially the tears refused to come, if anything Kagome was felt relieved her life was coming to an end.

"Come on then, finish it." Kagome groaned, hoisting herself up to her knees. Anticipating the final blow, Kagome squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could.

"Pathetic, I thought the Shiloh Miko would be more of a challenge."

She could hear the soldier rear back with their swords, the armor creaked at every movement. Her relief turned into dread as her mind ran through every happy memory she held, every heartbreak she ever felt.

Kagome wished desperately she could've seen her baby brother one last time, given Shippo one of those unhealthy sweets he was so in love with. Would they even know what happened to her? Would Sango and Miroku miss her? When she left Kagome swore to herself that she'd write to them, but she never did.

The pain clouded her mind, and thinking of them made it even worse. She ran from her emotions, and in turn lost her family. Maybe they're mad at her for leaving, maybe not, she'd never know. Heart heavy with regret, Kagome knew she was going to die without ever reconciling with them. There wouldn't be anymore of her mothers home cooked meals, none of her grandpas outlandish stories. She'd never know if Rin grew into the powerful woman she hoped she would, and she'd never see her godchildren make it to adulthood. With these thought Kagome allowed tears to slowly fall from her swollen eyes, she knew she'd die regretting her decisions, but maybe she deserved this. Maybe she deserved to die alone, without anyone having any fond feelings for her.

Mama, Souta, grandpa, I'm sorry. My friends, my family, I love you. Everyone, please be safe. Kami's, please watch over them all, and let them forgive me one day.

The moment she knew a sword was swinging down on her, she felt the familiar shiver return. A yoki she knew all too well slid against her reiki. Kagome's heart nearly stopped, surely she was mistaken.

Inuyasha?

The blow never landed, not on her anyway. A barely audible whoosh cut through the cold air, and she heard the swords fall to the ground beside her, never hitting their mark. The sickening thud of the soldier's bodies hit the ground, as the life seeped out of their bodies.

The warm yoki was there, taunting her with its presence. He was there. Was he? Kagome dared to let a glimmer of hope bloom in her chest for the first time in months.

"In-Inuyasha?" Kagome whimpered, refusing to open her eyes to look at him.

Silence, he didn't answer, all Kagome could hear was the blood gurgling out of the soldiers mouth as they gasped for air. Slowly prying her eyes open, she looked around. The soldier slumped against the tree had been beheaded, the two who remained were bleeding out on the ground beside her. Their throats tainted with nasty gashes that leaked blood, both men had claws at their throats. Hands caked with blood, a look of terror in their eyes as they knew their lives were ending. It was too late for them, Kagome knew even if she wanted to, nothing could be done to save them.

The drug still rampaging through her body, a concussion resulting from the brutal beating she just received, Kagome's vision was severely blurred and her eyes were swollen, she could barely see. But she saw him, his red clothes, his flawless white hair. His aura was dancing gently through the air.

"Inuyasha..." Kagome whispered, stumbling to her feet she tried to run to him, tripping over herself and strewn weapons along the way. When she finally reached him she wrapped her arms around his waist, like he was the only thing holding her down to the Earth.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again." She cried into his midsection. She couldn't believe it, he came back for her. Hope that he would come back had long left her, but here he was. A flood of emotions rushed to her, betrayal, elation, fury, and grief. Kagome had no time to process what was happening when a harsh reality punched her through the soul.

"Foolish Miko. Confuse me for that half-breed again and I'll finish you myself." Sesshomaru's cold tone cut through her thoughts.

Stilling, she tensed up, refusing to believe it was Sesshomaru she gathered her diminishing reiki and felt the yoki around her. Still wrapped around his waist, she tested the yoki. Gasping she stumbled backwards onto her bottom, it was Sesshomaru. His yoki was unmistakable, how could she let herself be fooled? Was it the drugs? Did they could her spiritual powers?

Kagome's vision cleared long enough to see Sesshomaru's eyes slanted down at her. His face as unreadable as always, blood stained his usually pristine hankimono, and his white hair flowed seamlessly around him.

"Sesshomaru?" Kagome stared at him in disbelief.

There's no way...

Kagome's battered form fell backwards, she passed out.

This one was a doozy, I hope y'all enjoy! Thank you so much for your reviews and follows! It means so much to me!

Also there's a Taylor swift reference in this chapter lmk if you caught it :D

Some definition!

Ryokan- traditional Japanese inn

Onsen- natural hot spring bath (idk if these were always inside but I made this one in a building because I thought it sounded nice)

Update1: someone pointed out a mistake in a previous chapter so I went back and edited it (: I called the beads of subjugation the wrong thing so I fixed it 3

Update 2: it's okay if you don't like how I wrote the characters, but don't be rude :) this is a fanfiction, I'm going to have the characters change and grow. Just as they would in real life, and if you don't like how I wrote a character I encourage you to write your own fanfic! That's one of the things that's been encouraging me to write one!

Otherwise thank you all for your kind words & support, I never thought I'd write something people actually wanted to read! See you all next week!