Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters from the Inuyasha show. Those all belong to Rumiko Takahashi & her brilliant mind. I also do not own any of the music that will be mentioned, I will credit every artist at the beginning of every chapter!

TW/ depression

I promise eventually this will get happier, but I don't want the cliché "oh he fixes her and everything is swell" troupe, I want to try my best to put into words what battling depression and loss is like.

Also some of the things in the chap where Inu/Kag crumbles I used actually messages between my ex during our breakup.

Anyway, it'll be happier in a while, this is also my first time writing a fic so I'm trying my best, thank you all for reading 3

Song for this Chapter:

Feel Better by Penelope Scott

Kagome stirred slightly, running her hands around her she felt a smooth sheet molded to her form, flowing gently as turned. Cracking an eye open sunlight abused her eyes, sending a jolt of pain coursing through her head. Her hand hastily found its place in front of her eyes, shielding her from the unforgiving light.

God, it's so early, what time did I go to sleep last night? Oh, fuck last night!

Bolting up Kagome was overwhelmed with the apprehensive awareness that she was in an unfamiliar room. Laying in an unfamiliar bed, wearing a wildly unfamiliar outfit. A pristine white yukata wrapped around her, complimenting the black silk sheets she was sitting under. The futon she was sitting atop of was centered in the bedroom Kagome found herself in. The room was bright, several windows were scattered along the pale grey walls. Across the room sat a dark wooden desk, a tall wardrobe, and a small chest. There were various items scattered across the desk, some jars, vials, and what appeared to be bandaged. Kagome winced as the pain in her ribs commanded her attention, and she noted her vision wasn't impaired. She trailed her fingers across her eyes and her cheek, there was no swelling, cuts, or abrasions left behind.

How did I get here?

As if she had asked out loud, a Kitsune yōkai fluttered through the door. Her waist-length cider hair was tied back into a low pointy tail. The kitsune's kimono was black with an obi that matched her hair tied at the waist.

"Miko, glad to see you awake." The kitsune said closing the door behind her, "I am Aina, I'm a healer and have come to tend to your wounds."

"Oh, okay. Um, where am I?" Kagome asked, sitting up straighter.

Aina had busied herself at a desk across the room, pulling out bandages and salves.

"You are in the palace of the west," Aina replied cooly, offering no further explanation.

"Okaaaaay so how did I get here?" Kagome asked, an attitude edging in her tone.

"Our Lord brought you here." Aina stated, walking over to Kagome, she gracefully sat on her knees, "Lay back." She insisted.

Begrudgingly Kagome laid down, allowing the kitsune to unwrap her kimono and look at her bandages.

"Soooo, your lord. You mean Sesshomaru?" Kagome wondered out loud, staring at the ceiling.

"Sesshomaru-sama. Please show some respect, he saved your life." Aina sternly shot at Kagome, "your superficial wounds have healed, with my help of course. Internally, you have several broken ribs, one punctured your lung. You should be back to full health in a few days, this salve will penetrate your skin and speed up the process. I will brew some medicinal tea as well, this will ease the pain. I urge you not to overextend yourself in the meantime." Closing Kagome's kimono Aina swept from the room as gracefully as she entered.

Figures his healer would be short of words too. I need to find my stuff. Oh, I hope it's here.

Kagome slid off of her futon, crossing the room to the desk she began he search for her belongings. Riffling through the desk, through the wardrobe, and even in a small chest tucked in the corner of the room, no luck. Balling her fists and putting them on her waist, Kagome started pacing behind the desk.

Damn demons, where'd they put my stuff!

"Do your ears fail you, Miko?" Kagome stilled, turning her attention to the door she saw Sesshomaru standing there, regal as ever. He hadn't changed a day since they last met. His long white hair cascaded down his back, his usually white kimono tied at the waist with his signature yellow and purple obi. Lacking his chest armor but not his swords, he stood there staring at Kagome with disinterest.

"Excuse me?"

"The healer told you to rest."

"I'm just looking for my stuff, I didn't want to lose my bag again. It's Kagome, by the way." Kagome finished with a hint of attitude leaving her tongue, circling the desk she leaned against the front, her arms supporting her weight.

"Your belongings are here. They will be brought to you." Sesshomaru stated, he clasped his hands behind his back and walked towards the window in her room. The window was veiled behind thin curtains, Sesshomaru opened one gently, peering at the view unknown to Kagome.

"Um, cool I guess," Kagome sheepishly replied, "oh and uh, well, thanks for saving me. I didn't need help though, and honestly, I think I'm well enough to go. I wouldn't want to be a burden hah. And anyway I have places to go, people to see-"

"No." Sesshomaru curtly replied.

"N-no?" Kagome stuttered.

"Your thanks are insufficient. This one risked his life to save yours," Sesshomaru said with boredom lacing his tone, he held a clawed hand up and examined his sharp nails, "you say you didn't need help but were overpowered by lowly humans. Nearly killed even, what a pathetic attempt to resist you portrayed. You will remain here for the time being, with proper training a Miko like you would benefit this one greatly."

Shocked Kagome stood there gaping at him, she was rarely at a loss for words but this caught her off guard. Had he ever said that much before? Sesshomaru still examined his nails, as if he he had said nothing out of the ordinary.

Wait risked his life? BENEFIT GREATLY?! Hell no!

"Risked your life? You're kidding, right? You didn't misplace a hair on your perfect head killing them! If I hadn't been drugged I would've been just fine" Kagome blurted out.

His eyes slid to examine her momentarily, turning his nose up he returned his stare to the window. Kagome could've sworn she saw the ghost of a smirk grace his pale lips.

"Perfect, Miko? Flattery will get you nowhere," Sesshomaru leered, Kagome blushed furiously.

"No, I mea-"

"If they were such easy prey, surely a priestess with your prowess wouldn't have lost to them." Sesshomaru ran a clawed hand through his hair. Unbothered as ever, he finally turned his head to fix his stare on her. Kagome felt her face heating with embarrassment, and she knew she was beet red.

"Well, they caught me off guard! I didn't ask for your help nor did I want it! I'm perfectly capable as I am! I can fight, what is the benefit greatly shit? Do you think I'm some pawn you can manipulate!? Well I've been there, done that, and I'll never do that again!" Kagome fumed, "You can't possibly think I'd want to hang around your self-righteous, egotistical, holier-than-thou ass-" in a flash Kagome was pinned against the wall, his clawed left hand resting firmly at her throat.

"Watch your tongue, Miko, or this one will take great pleasure in removing it from your skull." Sesshomaru purred menacingly, his eyes boring a hole into her head. Joy glinted in his eyes, she was his prey, her life was in his hands and he reveled in the power her had. Kagome felt some resistance when she gasped for air, and she had no doubt she'd regret her next decision, but Kagome let her anger get the better of her. The overwhelming urge to knock Sesshomaru down a few pegs, and smack that pretentious look off his face won over reason.

"It's-Kagome! Ka-go-ME!" Kagome choked out, she gathered her reiki in her hand and swung it up to hit his arm.

She could smell the flesh burning before she hit the floor, landing on her hands and knees she sputtered, hungrily sucking air in her burning lungs. Burning cloth invaded her nose as well, and a smug smile crept onto Kagome's face.

A low growl rumbled above Kagome, a spike of fear shot down her spine as she prepared herself for the worst, her smile faded away. What happened next was unpredictable, Kagome knew there'd be repercussions, not like this however.

The atmosphere seemed to increase in pressure by tenfold, the air constricted Kagome's lungs rather than providing life. Gasping for breath, her vision spotted and she gathered her reiki blanketing herself with a barrier.

Sesshomaru had released his yōki, Kagome was sure it wasn't even all of it, but more than enough to drown her. The feeble attempt she made to fight back with her reiki only seemed to agitate Sesshomaru's yōki, it thrashed against her small barrier. She'd never felt his yōki this strong before, even when he transformed before her it didn't feel as suffocating. In her current state, keeping up her barrier was the only defense she could use against Sesshomaru, even at her full strength she wasn't sure if she could stand against him. Kagome knew she wouldn't give up, not to a pretentious prick like him.

Just as soon as it started, it dissipated into nothing. The air was as light and refreshing as before, Kagome greedily sucked in air, coughing and clutching her right side. She lifted her head to look at Sesshomaru, who didn't have a hair out of place. His kimono was signed to the elbow, his skin was an angry red that clashed with his usual pale complexion.

What the hell was that?

"Insolence will not be tolerated, little Miko. Try such a thing again and you will die." Sesshomaru told her, looking down at her, "once you are well you will train, rest until then. Meals will be brought to you."

Sesshomaru turned to leave, and fighting a fit of coughs Kagome managed to ask,

"Wait, how did you find me?"

Not turning or stoping his stride Sesshomaru offered Kagome a lofty "Hn" and left her.

Groaning, Kagome crawled to her bed, flopping onto her back she stared at the ceiling. The right side of her body was screaming, angry she tried to exert so much energy. Tenderly, Kagome ran a hand down her ribs, there wasn't a mark left. At that, Kagome didn't feel previous scars either. Inspecting her hand she found it clean, the scars had disappeared as well.

They're gone?

Kagome bent her knees to feel them, sitting up in the process, the scars there were gone as well. Stunned, Kagome brought her hand back in front of her face.

They're gone.

Tracing a finger where they used to be, a mix of emotions whirled inside her. Misty-eyed Kagome rested her hand against her forehead. Truthfully, she could have healed the scars herself months ago. She learned how to heal almost any ailment from the Buddhists, but something held Kagome back from ever healing them herself. They were her reminder not to give her all to someone so carelessly again, and of her last encounter with Inuyasha.

For months Kagome harbored anger towards Inuyasha, how could he leave her like that? She gave up everything to be with him, he left like it was easier than breathing. Leaving Kagome suffocating, gasping for breath she could never catch. The only thing that stopped the ever-present ache was keeping busy. Training day and night, after she got sober Kagome never granted herself a peaceful moment. The distraction was grateful, no it was necessary. Always living moment from moment kept Kagome from thinking. The thrill of travel, fear of not having food or shelter or safety was her life. The adrenaline that pumped through her veins during a fight kept her mind sharp.

The few peaceful moments Kagome had were spoiled by the poisonous memories of his betrayal. Long periods without a fight, without having to struggle for food, let her mind rest. When her thought got too comfortable, she was reminded of every time Inuyasha hurt her.

So Kagome chose the best option, to shut it out. She would move on and survive, she would fight, but she refused to address her feelings. Pushing them deep down, she locked them away and closed herself off. Not needing friends, or even wanting them, Kagome traveled alone.

Occasionally her feelings would push their way up, commanding her attention, but those moments were few and far between now. Kagome didn't want to feel better, she didn't want to feel anything at all. Really, Kagome vowed to never feel anything again. Knowing bonds led to heartbreak, Kagome never wanted to form one again.

Those scars on her hands and knees reminded her why she closed herself off. Now they were gone, and Kagome couldn't leave for the time being. Kagome was at a loss, for the first time in months, she was lost. Slow tears rolled down her cheek, she didn't want to go back. She didn't want her feelings to come back, she wanted to keep running, to keep until she forgot why she started running to start with.

Kagome felt everything she was trying not to feel for a year, so she screamed. Her throat burned and her lungs ached, but she screamed anyway. All of her frustration at her current situation, her sadness from her past, reflected in the guttural noise erupting from her throat. So wrapped in her own emotions, Kagome didn't notice the kitsune, Aina, rushing into the room, two guards on her heels with swords drawn. Clawing at her chest, thinking if she dug deep enough she could rip the pain right out of her body.

"Miko! Calm yourself! Quick, hand me the light blue vial on the desk." Aina barked at a guard, kneeling in front of Kagome she grabbed her hands and cradled them.

One of the guards rushed the vial to Aina, concealing his sword, and distanced himself from the hysteric Miko. Still screaming, her voice was cracking, she could her throat becoming raw with the force of her scream.

"Miko, drink this." Aina lifted the vial to Kagome's mouth.

"No, no, leave me ALONE!" Kagome wailed, pushing Aina's hands away. A small amount of the liquid spilled onto Aina, brushing it off Aina set the blue vial down.

"Melodramatic, troublesome Miko," Aina muttered to herself, she withdrew a herb bundle from her kimono.

Lighting it with a small amount of kitsunebi, Aina began wafting the smoke towards Kagome. Sandalwood, lavender, lotus, and sugi seeped their way into Kagome's nose, she knew what Aina was trying to do. Many times Kagome had used the same herbs to calm crying children, there was a scent Kagome didn't recognize mixed in with the rest. Holding her breath Kagome tried to fight, she didn't want to calm down. She wanted to scream until she stopped existing.

"Please don't touch me! Just leave me alone! Please, please, please," Kagome sobbed into Aina, collapsing into her should, "please just leave me alone. I deserve this I deserve this."

"Shhh, it's okay little Miko," Aina cooed, she was stroking Kagome's hair, rocking her back and forth, "drink this, it'll help." Kagome tried to turn her head away, but Aina held it firm in place. Putting the vial to Kagome's lips, Aina poured a mouthful in.

"Swallow, troublesome Miko," Aina commanded, still cradling the distraught Kagome. Holding her head in place until Kagome resentfully swallowed.

Still sobbing, Kagome felt nothing, and everything at once. Her body vibrated with sobs, her soul shattered completely.

"I want my mom, I want to go home." Kagome sobbed, hiccuping into Aina.

"Rest, you will feel better when you wake." Aina hummed, laying Kagome down and covering her with the silk sheets.

"Please, don't leave me. I don't want to be alone." Kagome slurred, she didn't know what Aina made her drink, but sleep was threatening to overtake her. Grabbing Aina's hand, she cradled it to her face wetting it with her tears.

"Troublesome Miko, sleep." Aina sighed, but she didn't move. She gently stroked Kagome's hair with her free hand, humming a tune Kagome didn't recognize.

Sleep welcomed Kagome like an old friend, inviting her with promises of tranquility.