KEZZ 1: Thank you for your comment! I'm glad you liked the last chapter. With Daryl and Ani's background, there has to be some drama at some point. Don't worry, though, their relationship has some serious plot armor. XP

Ani had followed Merle into the woods instead of Daryl, causing the older man to become even more aware of the rift that had grown between his two younger siblings. They hadn't been as touchy-feely, keeping their affections to mostly night, she hadn't said a word, and he kept looking at her while chewing on his thumb but didn't say or do anything. Hell, she wasn't paying a grand amount of attention to the kittens either, although it was more along the lines of she hadn't been doing any playing with them. Damn things were following her even now, though, so it must not have mattered to them. It might have only been a week, but damn if they couldn't have been more obvious that something was wrong.

"What's on your mind, Ani?" Merle asked as they followed a dried up creek bed, having already talked to Daryl about his worries.

"Nothin'."

"What's goin' on with you and Daryl then, hmm? Gonna answer that one?" he asked while pursing his lips and tilting his head to the side, an annoyed expression playing on his face as she stared blankly at him. "I know damn well somethin' happened out in those woods. Came back the same way and not too far ahead of 'im. I know damn well you were together in those woods and he's back to lookin' at ya like a little lost dog. So what happened?"

"We broke," Ani told him simply.

"The hell does that mean?" Merle asked, confusion mixing with worry; Daryl said they were having a fight, he didn't say anything about this.

"He said...he said 'e couldn' handle me shuttin' down. That it was like I was dead and he can' do it again. And I don' know how ta move on from that. From knowin' that somethin' that's bound ta happen again some time down the road is somethin' 'e can' handle it. Thought I could jus' forget and move past it. But I don' know how ta stop thinkin' 'bout it. How ta deal with 'im lookin' at me like I'm 'bout ta break or go nuts. Not bein' able ta be what 'e needs," she said before she stopped and put a hand out to Merle, moving them to face each other. "I tried ta walk away."

"Yeah, he told me that bit."

"It'd give 'im freedom ta be with someone normal. Someone 'e didn' have ta deal with, didn' have ta handle. He could be free and happy and livin' a normal life 'stead a havin' ta always worry 'bout me."

"You listen here, Ani. Even before you rolled into that quarry, he was head over heels for ya. Whatever you told him that night, it stuck with him. He started changin' then. Already was the sweetest of all of us back at Lou's, only one not on the hard stuff, too. Smoked his weed, drank his whiskey, called it a day. Hell, the man passed up on so many one-nighters after meetin' ya I thought his dick fell off!" Merle said with a chuckle. "Dry streak ended with you, though. Knew it would when you looked him over with those big green eyes of yours. Now, I ain't one for believin' in all that romance bullshit from movies and shit, but if there were ever two people meant for each other, it's the two of ya."

"Ya don' get it, Merle."

"Oh, I do. You said you didn't see me as a man to pine over a woman once. Well, you're wrong," Merle told her. "Daryl don't even know this, but there was this young one in my squad, fresh outta boot. Right whippersnapper with a gun, but she came 'round. Long hair like yours. Loved that woman with all my heart. Then I got booted for stoppin' one of the higher ups from touchin' her. One thing I regret, not lookin' for her after I got out. But I wasn't about to make her leave her family, you know? I wasn't gonna ask her to do that. Took to drinkin' and smokin' and drugs to get her outta my head, but nothin' ever worked. See a lot of her in you, though. The same courage. Same spunk. Same idiocy when it comes to tryin' to hide your emotions and play the hero."

"Merle," Ani drawed out. "I can' give 'im what 'e needs. He don' need me crazy bringin' 'im down no more."

"Ani, quit runnin' from him. Quit thinkin' he's gonna reject you. He might say some stupid shit from time to time, but the man would gladly take on the whole world for ya. Let 'im. Don't be makin' my mistakes and run away 'fore you ever really get the chance to know where all this is goin'."

"It's goin' straight ta hell."

"No, it isn't," Merle told her, frustrated by how she seemed to keep fighting him. "Your brain may be, but you and Daryl? Hell, if you don't pop out a kid 'fore the end of the year, I'll walk around in my birthday suit for the rest of winter! I get we were asses to ya, but you're still our Ani. So suck it up, buttercup. You ain't leavin' my brother."

"Didn' know it was a group decision."

"Do you love 'im?"

"Ya know damn well I do!"

"Then suck it up! Start small, but ya gotta get back in the saddle, kiddo. He won't make the first move 'cause he's too chicken shit of scarin' you off. Might say some words, but he's not gonna touch ya 'til you start touchin' on him. So it's time to put your big girl panties on and cut him some slack."

"But I don' wear any wear any panties. They're uncomfortable and always give me a wedgie."

Merle laughed at Ani's naivete and shook his head, "Fine, Mrs. Freeballs, get the stick outta your ass, then, and do somethin' to show he ain't losin' ya. Ain't nothin' gonna get fixed if you don't." Ani just hung her head in contemplation as they continued their search. They didn't find any water, but they did find Daryl, prompting Merle to goad him. "Here we are, lookin' everywhere for water, and your man here's diggin' in the dirt."

"Find anythin'?" Ani asked.

"Yeah, a worm," Daryl said, producing it and making a point of showing it to her before he opened his mouth and stuck it on his tongue before proceeding to make a show of eating it.

"Ew!" Ani laughed. "Ya not kissin' me with worm mouth!"

"Mean I get to kiss you again?" Daryl asked, thankful to hear her laugh but his chest tightening painfully as he looked at her; it'd been five days since she'd kissed him.

Ani sighed, thinking about what Merle had said, but right now, she was still trying to wrap her mind around it and accept that she needed to move on. All she could manage was a small smile for Daryl before kneeling down and helping him dig. She wanted to go to him, wanted to be in his arms more than just when they'd slept. But his words kept replaying over and over in her head. It was worse than when he'd initially rejected her at the quarry because it was his voice stuck in her head, and not in the way she wanted it to be.

"You know I'm sorry, baby girl," he said quietly, knowing his brother was standing close by.

"Yeah, I know."

"I love you."

"I know, love ya too."

"Ania," Daryl said, sitting back since there was no point in digging; the water was gone. "We gonna be okay?"

"I wanna be," she admitted with a sad smile, Merle walking further away as they had their heart to heart. "All I can hear is what ya said, though. And it still hurts. Feels like I ain' good 'nough for ya, like I ain' what ya need."

"You ain't always gonna be what I need, but you'll always be what I want," he told her. Ani didn't know how to tell him that saying that honestly just made things worse for her as she was already worried about not being what he needed but Daryl was already talking again. "There've been times...hell, this whole thing started 'cause I wasn't what you needed, right? Ain't always gonna be what the other needs. Doesn't change how I feel about you."

Merle's whistle stopped their conversation as he motioned for them to head out. As Daryl stood, he contemplated offering Ania a hand, but instead just stood there watching as she got up herself before taking a couple steps forward. Ani sighed again, trying to calm her nerves as her hands started shaking from the thought of touching another person; her fight with Daryl had really done a number on what she could handle. It hadn't helped that two nights ago she'd laid Abraham, and subsequently Rosita, out; Abraham was for being a belligerent dickhead and Rosita, well, the woman attacked her first, so Ani could only internally shrug when she thought about that. She reached out and grabbed Daryl's hand, entwining their fingers as she walked beside him. Daryl squeezed her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back before smirking at her.

"Kissed you with worm mouth."

Ani scoffed, "Yeah. I guess ya did."

She only held his hand for a few minutes, that was the most she could manage before her skin started to crawl again. They'd found Maggie and were on their way to rendezvous with Sasha by that point, Ani not missing the look Maggie gave her when she dropped Daryl's hand and stepped ahead of him a few paces. Sasha hadn't found any water, either, and none of them had seen any viable game trails. They breached the trees and made it back to the road and their last remaining vehicle where everyone else was sitting and waiting.

"Oh shit," Sasha said as she looked at them.

"It's been a day and a half," Maggie said, indicating how long they'd been without more than a sip or two of water, let alone food. "They didn't find any either."

"How do you know?" Sasha asked.

"They'd be doin' more'n sittin' with their heads hangin'," Ani told her, watching as Bobby and Catty ran ahead. "Glad they're doin' alright. And Judith."

"How much longer we got?" Maggie asked.

"Sixty miles," Sasha answered.

"I wasn't talkin' about that."

"Humans can go roughly a week on minimum wata and no food. At least, we can. Judith, I dunno. A couple more days 'til she becomes lethargic."

"That's not a pretty picture to paint, Ani," Merle told her, not wanting to think about the baby he'd been helping carry losing the fight.

"Wasn't tryin' ta be pretty. Was tryin' ta be real."

Finding they returned empty handed as well, the group loaded into the large van, not bothering to stick around. She was forced to sit on Daryl's lap, much like Maggie was sitting on Glenn's, though Daryl could feel just how tense her body was, almost to the point of shaking due to being so stiff. Even with his arms around her, it was too much. There were too many people in too small of a vehicle and no space to breath. The only solace Daryl had was that she was leaning back against him and had a death grip on his arms. If anyone aside from Merle noticed, they kept it to themselves as Abraham drove down the road. They'd only gotten maybe another fifteen to twenty miles before the engine sputtered to a halt.

"We're out," Abraham told them.

"So we walk," Rick said.

Piling out of the vehicle, Daryl watched as Ania practically ran out the door, stopping and stretching and shaking her arms and hands out before cracking her back. She was astutely ignoring Merle's stare as she pulled her bag and her crossbow out of the van before walking over to Sophia and talking to her. They managed to find some water further down the road, but not a lot, and everyone was getting sick of munching on dandelion leaves to keep their hunger at bay. Somehow, Ani had gotten behind Daryl as he and Rick talked at the front of the group about the walkers behind them.

"We're not at our strongest," Rick commented. "We'll get 'em when it's best. High ground somethin' like that. They're not going anywhere." The pain in Daryl's eyes when he'd looked at Ani had been evident even to Rick, quietly saying, "It's been three weeks since Atlanta. I know somethin' happened back there."

Daryl looked over to Rick and at the baby in his arms and said, "She's hungry," completely ignoring the implied question.

"She's okay. She's gonna be okay."

"We need to find water, food."

"We'll hit somethin' in the road."

"Smells like rain," Ani piped up from behind them.

"On a sunny day?" Tara asked.

"No, she's right. It's gonna rain eventually," Rick said, not smelling it so much as seeing it in the darkening and thickening clouds overhead.

"I'm gonna head out," Daryl said suddenly, not wanting to talk to Rick about his problems with Ania and not wanting to have to see Ania's look of guilt every time he looked at her. "See what I can find."

"Okay," Rick said.

"Want me ta come?"

"Naw, I got it."

"Oh, okay," Ani said, looking at the ground and trying not to feel hurt.

"Don't be gone too long," Merle told him, giving him a look as to why he wasn't taking Ani with him. It was the perfect opportunity to talk to the girl, kiss and make up as it were, but he was passing it by.

"I'll go with you," Carol told him.

"I said I got it."

"What? Are you gonna stop me?"

Ani watched as they walked off before looking down and sighing, "I really fucked up, didn' I?"

Merle looked at her and wrapped her in a one arm hug for all of a second before she smacked his hand off her, "You both did. I told you to suck it up."

"I'm tryin!"

"Are you? 'Cause from the look on his face, the look on yours, and that ride in the van, I'm questionin' it."

"I'm tryin'," she said more quietly. "Ya think I don' wish I could jus' fuckin' run inta his arms again and jus' have everythin' be okay? I need ta feel 'is arms 'round me again, but it makes me skin crawl. I get what ya said, I get what 'e said. And I'm tryin' ta see it that way, I am. But it's hard ta wrap me head around the fact that I ain' what 'e needs."

"Hell, girly, that was not what he was sayin'. Don't give me that look, yeah I heard him! Even in the before times couples weren't always what the other one needed. Why fights like this happen. But you gotta try harder. Could've done somethin' more than sittin' like a log."

"That's got nothin' ta do with it," she said harshly. "Daryl was the only reason I didn' have a fuckin' panic attack in that van, wedged in there like sardines. So much shite could a gone wrong."

"Does he know that? 'Cause I'm pretty sure he thought you were uncomfortable on him."

"I don' know. I hope 'e knows. Hope 'e knows I'm still relyin' on 'im even when I'm havin' problems movin' past the hurt."

"He's hurtin' too, girl."

"I know. And it's me fault. The hell do I do?"

"Next time he walks off, don't ask to go, just go," Merle told her. "Get it out of your system in them woods and come back the power couple you've always been."

"Power couple? The hell? Ya watch soaps or somethin', Merle?"

"Hey, they don't have a great variety of shows you get to watch in prison."

~x~

Daryl was walking in the field with Carol looking for any kind of game trail. It was too dry, though, and it was obvious that nothing had been through here in a while. He didn't know why the older woman had come; she wasn't a hunter and had barely had any tracking lessons with Ania before she'd gotten sick. Honestly, he knew he wouldn't find anything out here, he'd just wanted to be away from the group, away from Ania so she could deal with her head, even if it was slowly killing him inside that she couldn't even handle his touch. Hell, it felt like the only time he could really touch her was when they went to sleep, the only comfort he had right now seeing as she was still sleeping in his arms. He could see the guilt on her face and knew she knew he was hurting, but neither of them could really do anything about it. They'd come to an impasse.

"Anything?" Carol asked, bringing him back to the moment at hand.

"No, it's too dry," Daryl told her. "There ain't nothin' here."

"Maybe we should start back," Carol suggested.

"You go," Daryl said, turning his back on her and starting to walk off.

"I think she protected me in the van. Braced herself against me so I wouldn't be as jarred as her," Carol told him. "She's always protecting people but doesn't know how to protect herself. Or how to let on she's hurting too."

"The hell you know about it?"

"I know something's goin' on with you two. Some kind of fight and you're both hurtin'. We're not dead. That's what you said. We're not dead. I know you, you're different. I can't let myself—I have to just move on. Me and Ani? We have to just move on from what I did, what I would've done. But you? You're different. I know you. You have to let yourself feel whatever it is you're goin' through before it eats you up. It's already eatin' her up and she knows it's her fault you feel this way. You have to deal with it for Ani, and find a way back to her," she told him, before turning around. "And you will."

Even though he didn't want to go back yet, Daryl led Carol back to the road. It was a good thing too, as a walker was about to take a bite out of Rick and Ania was too far away to get her aim right. He could tell by the way she was halfway over the bridge to come to their aide as the group of walkers that had been behind them finally caught up. Ani herself was pissed; that plan had been perfect from the get go, and, as Abraham so eloquently stated, the plan got dicked thanks to Sasha! She shouldn't have let Sasha talk her into letting her take her place in the plan. If it hadn't been for Daryl popping up out of no where, they would have lost Rick, and Ani couldn't handle another loss, not after Noah's community, Tyreese, and Daryl.

"Surprised you weren't up there with 'em," he told Ania as he walked up, noticing her look down when he came to stop in front of her.

"Sasha said she wanted ta," she said quietly, not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes. "'Sides, didn' think ya'd be happy with me doin' it anyway, so..."

Daryl didn't know what to say to her, so he just nodded his head and gave a small gesture to indicate they should get going. Ani wanted to say something, but just didn't have the words to convey what she was feeling. Everything had wracked up and she was in need of a reset, but there was none available for her right now. They were constantly on the move, so taking a couple days to just be lazy was out. They definitely didn't have any kind of chocolate or coffee for a dopamine rush. The last thing on Daryl's mind was sex, and to be honest, it wasn't really on her list of important things to get to either. They walked side by side, both wanting to reach out for the other, but feeling as if a wall had been placed between them.

"Dad, look!" Carl said excitedly as a trio of abandoned cars lay up ahead.

"I'm gonna go out. Circle back," Daryl said, realizing that this would probably be where they made camp for the night.

"May I come?" Carol asked before Ani had the chance; Daryl noticed how she'd deflated the minute Carol spoke up.

"Naw," he said quickly, still wanting a chance to be alone with his thoughts. "Naw, just me."

~x~

When Daryl got back to camp, he was met with the weary faces of everyone around. Rick was sitting back to back with Carl and everyone was just looking completely defeated. Ania was sitting with Sophia and Merle, her head having been on a swivel since Daryl walked off to keep an eye out for him. While everyone else had startled when he walked up, her eyes locked onto his for the first time in what seemed to Daryl to be forever. The pain and guilt in her eyes was as evident as the look of pure love that shown through them in that moment, something that forced him to turn away from her. Still, he walked to where she was sitting and sat down next to her, wanting more than anything to just reach out and wrap her up in his arms but instead folding them over his knees.

She surprised him by leaning her head against his shoulder, still looking at the kittens in her lap rather than at him as he watched her, but it was something. He chewed at his lip as he contemplated saying something to her but not wanting to ruin the moment he chose to remain silent, just staring at the girl he wanted in his arms. The moment was ruined anyway with the sounds of growls and branches breaking sounded out. Out of the forest behind him, four large, aggressive looking dogs began growling and barking at the group. Daryl might have been willing to try to scare them off as he reached for his knife and leaned around Ania protectively as she held the kittens in one hand, pulling her gun with the other.

She literally jumped and was thankful she hadn't taken the safety off the gun when the first mutt went down. Practically everyone did as Sasha shot all four dogs in the head leaving no guessing games as to what was going to happen. Ani counted it a blessing as she looked around, finding some sticks as she watched Rick's face harden with realization. Merle walked over to the dogs, he and Daryl sharing a look of discontent but nonetheless, this was the apocalypse.

"What are you doing?" Eugene asked as Ani returned with some branches to make a small fire.

"Buildin' a fire."

"Why?"

"So we can eat," she said plainly.

"I am not eating dog," the man said resolutely.

"Yeah, you are," Abraham told him, taking out the liquor bottle he found and taking a healthy swig from it.

"Don' worry. It tastes kinda like if a cow and a sheep had a baby," Ani told him. "Ain' bad at all."

"You've seriously eaten dog before?" Tara asked, looking horrified.

"Well, coyote, but I reckon dog's gonna taste pretty damn similar."

"What are you?" Tara asked as she watched Ani light the fire, completely flabbergasted by the second smallest person in the group, the first being Judith.

"Human, what are ya?" Ani asked without missing a beat, tilting her head in confusion as she heard Daryl and Merle get to work on gutting and skinning their meal. "Give the twins some a the guts and shite!"

"What else have you eaten?" asked Tara, wondering if it stopped at coyote, cow, and lamb or went further.

"Well, the normal shite, pig, cow, deer, lamb, chicken, turkey, duck, fish. Then there's the not so normal but acceptable shite, squirrels, coons, opossums, pheasants, snakes, cow tongue, pig stomach. Then ya got ya weird shite. I've had coyote, cat, as in actual cat, kangaroo, dingo, crocodile, zebra, elephant, rhino, giraffe, platypus, beaver, eagle, buzzard, ants, grubs."

"And you were bitchin' at me for eatin' a worm," Daryl said as he brought the first carcass over. "How the hell you eat fuckin' elephant?"

"Me daddy was a big game hunta. New enough guys from the military and govament, 'e'd regularly go on vacations with 'em chattin' 'bout politics and shite. Told ya this 'fore, haven' I?"

"Nope," Daryl told her, looking at her in a new light as he found out just how much money her family had really had; he knew they were well off, but he didn't know they were loaded. "Didn't know your dad was a hunter, too."

"Oh," she said as her face fell and went pale for a second before she shook her head and looked at him. "Sorry, guess food neva came up, so that neva did eitha. And he ain' no damn hunta. Not like big game huntin's the same as what we do, D. Not even real huntin'. Ya pay someone ta take ya ta where the animal is ta shoot it. Ain' no real huntin' bein' done, jus' a bunch a guys with tiny dicks wantin' ta bring down somethin' bigga than 'em."

They fell silent as the food began to cook, the smell both tantalizing and disgusting to most of the people. Ani sat next to Daryl, though this time she wasn't touching him. She could tell by the looks on several of the other people's faces that they were having a serious moral dilemma, but Tara, at the very least, looked shocked by how well what they were eat tasted. They stayed on the side of the road all night, Daryl gathering Ania into his arms as she began falling asleep sitting up. His heart swelled as she wrapped her arms back around him in return, nuzzling her face into his chest as she sighed.

"Love ya, D."

~x~

The next day, they were all walking down the road, Ani and Daryl hanging a little further back than everyone else, when Glenn turned to Daryl to hand him a water bottle. Daryl refused, telling him to give it to Ani, who took it and took a sip before trying to hand it to Daryl, who once again refused. She just held it out to him until he relented, taking the thing and handing it to Glenn himself and leaving her standing and staring at him in shock.

"Daryl," the man chastised. "We can make it. But we can only make it together."

Daryl stopped walking too for a moment before he began walking a little quicker and passed Abraham with a, "Tell 'em I went lookin' for water."

Ani watched him until he was in the woods and even then waited a few minutes before turning to Abraham and asking, "Ya think ya can cova for us, Red?"

"Yeah, I got you covered," Abraham said as Ani started walking after Daryl, pulling her bead and feather out of her bag, the cats following along behind. "Make it up with your man before the two of you or Sasha completely side rail this rodeo."

"Yeah," she said, knowing that the strain in their relationship was what was causing a strain in the group due to stress.

Ani took her good sweet time following Daryl's trail and fiddling with her hair to put the bead and the feather back in place. A symbolic gesture to hopefully take away some of the pain and one she should have gotten around to a long time ago. She was surprised the feather was still in good shape. Sighing and looking down at the trail, she couldn't help but start thinking about everything that had happened in the last month. It wasn't Daryl's fault, any of it, or even hers, and she needed to push the thoughts and trauma of having his voice being the one saying all those dirty lies she'd been told before him back and out of her mind. She'd done it once with her bloods' voices, she could do it again with his if she just gave him a chance, gave herself a chance.

She knew she needed to get this done and over with for both her and Daryl's sakes, but damn if she wanted to put it off some more. What happened if she tried to fix it, if she went to him, and he pushed her away instead? What happened if he said he couldn't take it anymore like she had? And then her mind started in on how that must have felt to him and her heart started breaking. How could she put him through that pain and then just keep pushing him away? How could she all but say she was done with him and then practically act like it? Ani was already in tears when she found him sitting under the tree.

Her face contorted into one of pain, guilt, and sorrow as she cried out and quickly smacked the cigarette from his hand, "What the hell are ya doin'?!"

~x~

Daryl traveled into the woods alone once again. He didn't know what he was going to do. As he knelt by the decaying body of a deer, he couldn't help but think about how it felt like Ania was slipping through his hands. His chest constricted badly every time he thought of his wife and how what used to come so naturally was so foreign with her now. Hell, it'd only been three weeks since he'd found her and everything, literally everything, was different. Couldn't just reach out and hold her like he used to. Couldn't just grab her for a kiss. Couldn't even hold her hand. And he wasn't sure which of them was responsible for it, not really.

Sure, she was dealing with everything he'd said, everything he'd unintentionally done to hurt her when he'd been trying to help her heal, and that left a gaping hole in their relationship. But he was also hurting and didn't know how to react around her right now because he was still scared. And it was only getting worse the longer they kept acting like this. He just couldn't bring himself to do anything that might force her even further away from him. She still sleeps in my arms, he reminded himself for at least the hundredth time today as he looked over, noticing a dead walker sitting against a tree.

Standing up, Daryl moved on through the woods without finding a single damn trail, let alone any water. He did, however, manage to find an old barn that looked like it'd had better days. It was peaceful, quiet, and he couldn't help but think how Ania would like it here and he should've asked her to come with him. He said he wouldn't leave her, but he couldn't handle seeing her looking so damn guilty all the time. What he needed to do was clear his damn head and get it on right so he could quit hurting her and give her what she needed him to. Scoffing at himself as his emotions welled, he pulled out a very crumpled cigarette pack and pulled the straightest one out and lighting it.

As he took a drag, he could feel the pain and sorrow welling. Playing with the zippo Ania had given him, he thought about what Carol had said, how he had to deal with it to get back to Ania. He took a couple more drags while looking up at the barn. How the hell was he supposed to deal with it hurting so bad on the inside that it was hard to breath? When it was so painful even the word pain wasn't enough to described his torment? Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, he contemplated it for a moment before placing it on his old scar, the familiar pain easing the one in his chest momentarily.

"What the hell are ya doin'?!" Ania's voice rang right as her hand smacked the smoke out of his.

"The hell, Ania!"

"Nah! Ya don' get ta pull that shite, not when I catch ya hurtin' yaself!"

"Just go back to camp!"

"Not without ya," she said, as she stood above him and crossed her arms.

"Just go," he said. "I don't want you here."

"Well tough shit! 'Cause I'm here now! And I ain' leavin' without ya!"

"Hell'd you even come out here for anyway? What? Merle send you?"

"I came ta fix this, asshole! I came 'cause I'm a bitch and a douche and a bastard all rolled inta one for not bein' there for ya when I hurt ya jus' as much as ya hurt me! 'Cause for some gods damned reason the voices in me head came back stronga than eva, but in your voice! And 'stead a pushin' it off like I always have, I let 'em in! And that's on me, and I'm sorry and I'm sorry I didn' realize what I was doin' earlya, but, D! Ya...ya burnin' yaself!"

"Ain't no different than what you used to do," he said quietly, tears silently starting to fall down his cheeks.

Ani dropped next to him and took his hand in hers, grabbing the little bit of her water she had to clean his burn, "And that's what makes it worse, D. That's what makes it worse. 'Cause I've been fightin' the urge ta be cuttin' again. I been fightin' it."

"Can fight that, but can't fight for us?" he said, sobs finally wracking his body as he lost the fight to keep his feelings at bay.

"I'm sorry. I get it now. How stupid it is a me ta keep doin' that shite. Ta be puttin' it on ya that I'm gonna leave, that ya losin' me. When I thought 'bout ya pushin' me away, tellin' me some a thus stuff I've said ta ya," she forced her way into his lap and brought his face to her shoulder, holding him tightly to her. "Gods, I've been doin' that ta ya from the start, haven' I? All the way back ta when ya had ta come afta me. I been pushin' ya away and not bein' there for ya, not really. I haven' been puttin' me all inta it thinkin' ya gonna leave me one day. I've been the one that's been pushin' away. I'm sorry, D. I'm sorry. I promise, I won' be doin' that eva again. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she repeated as they cried into each other, holding on for dear life.

"Should've listened," he cried by her ear. "Should've just listened to you, baby girl. I'm sorry."

"I know, D. I know."

They stayed sitting under the tree and holding each other until the tears finally stopped and they were both able to collect themselves. Daryl played with the single braid she'd put in her hair just to hold the feather and bead while tracing his name over the initials on her back, now that he knew what those scars were. When they decided to head back, Ani didn't drop his hand the entire way back to the road, not even contemplating it as an option as she knew they both needed this. They needed a hell of a lot more than just holding hands, but that was all they could do seeing as they needed to get back to the group. Daryl held onto her hand so tight it hurt, but she didn't complain because at least it meant that he wasn't letting go. Breaching the trees, Daryl all but dragged her back to the group as Rick walked up to them with a note in his hand. 'From a Friend' was written on it, Daryl dropping her hand to grab off his crossbow as Ani went to look at the water.

"What else are we gonna drink?" Tara asked.

"Not this," Rick said. "We don't know who left it."

"If that's a trap, we already happen to be in it," Eugene said. "But I, for one, would like to think it is indeed from a friend."

"I'm sidin' with Eugene on this," Ani said. "'Sides, Judy needs the wata. She'll die within days and we've barely had 'nough ta give 'er and keep 'er goin'. She needs this."

"But what if they put somethin' in it?" Carol asked doubtfully.

"Not everyone has a mind like ya's, Cars. People can and prolly still do care. I mean, we saved a damn holy man for fuck's sake!"

Whatever argument Carol might have had was cut short by Eugene grabbing a bottle and going to take a drink, only for Abraham to smack said bottle out of the man's hand. While Eugene stood staring, Ani and Daryl were both pissed. Ani because that water was wasted and she was dripping wet; Daryl because Abraham had smacked the bottle right into Ania's face. He moved to quickly grab the big man, but Ani got in the way and wrapped her arms around his middle.

"I'm fine, D." He was about to say something when thunder broke out around them and the sky opened up, "See? I'd be wet anyway."

Daryl just looked at her for all of one second before wrapping his arms around her waist, picking her up and bringing a hand to her neck. Their lips met for the first time in days and damn if it didn't feel good to be kissing his wife again as everyone else began scrambling for water containers. Ani wrapped her arms around his neck and responded in kind, love, need, and desire taking their breaths away as the rain picked up. It was when thunder began crashing heavily and continuously, Judith and the kittens screaming against the downpour.

"We gotta get outta this storm!" Ani said motioning to the darkened sky above. "It's lookin' like it's gonna be gettin' a lot worse 'fore it gets betta."

"She's right," Merle yelled over the storm. "We gotta get some shelter!"

"There's a barn!"

"Where?" Rick asked.

Daryl and Ani lead the group to the barn they'd found earlier, Daryl pulling the woman past the tree they'd sat at earlier when she balked. "Don't think about it," he told her as soon as they got into the barn and he pulled her into his arms. "We're fine now. We're gonna be fine."

"Gonna be betta than fine. I promise. I ain' pullin' that shite again. I ain' threatenin' ta leave like that eva again."

"I know, baby girl, I know," he sighed into her ear as they kept hugging.

"How do you guys not get whiplash from her emotions?" Rosita asked as Ani and Daryl got to setting up a fire.

"It's not usually this bad," Maggie told her. "She was alone for a week, though, and everythin' that happened in Atlanta and then after. It's good they've figured it out."

"She's always been so strong," Beth commented. "It's actually kinda nice to see her bein' weak for a change."

"I heard that ya brat!" Ani said as she turned around and threw a small stone at Beth, pegging her in the shoulder as the teen stuck her tongue out at her. "Happy belated, by the way."

"What? How'd you know?" Beth asked, remembering she'd turned eighteen at the hospital.

"I keep track a the days. It's day five hundred thirty six since the declaration of Wildfire, or the Global Outbreak. We celebrated ya seventeenth on day one seventy one."

"What...how?" Abraham asked.

"Eidetic memory, Red. Some things are nice 'bout bein' a versie, othas, not so much."

"If you have an eidetic memory," Gabriel piped up, "does that mean you know how many you've killed?"

"Yes," she said shortly, looking down and knowing what was coming next.

"How many?"

Sucking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out, she looked up at her family, Daryl's arms wrapping around her protectively as she told them, "Ninety." Choruses of shock from her family, a 'holy flaming shit balls' from Red, and a furious response from Rosita about Ani being a murder was silenced when she continued. "Seven from the 'fore times, when I had ta defend meself from me parents tryin' ta sell me off. Shane, Dale, Patricia. The three I killed with ya, Rick, ova the winta. Tomas. Six from when we went ta Woodbury. Eight when I went and blew up the feed store. Macy the child abusin', husband wantin' bitch. Fourteen rapists in the woods outside the prison, laughin' and jokin' 'bout what they'd done ta a couple little girls, and I mean little. Three othas from the prison in mercy. Two who wanted ta take the prison for 'emselves 'cause they jus' weren' the right fit. Five mercy killin's from that walka attack on the prison. Six more a the Gov'na's men when they rolled through the gates. Four Claimers. And...and twenny six from Terminus." She turned and looked at Rosita, whose words had cut the deepest. "Been a murdara since I was twelve. Ain' nothin' new 'bout the blood I got on me hands. Ain' nothin' gonna cleanse it eitha."

"How you bounce back so fast?" Abraham asked, understanding how that topic could be difficult; he'd lost his own family because of the people he'd killed.

"Ya mean emotionally?" she asked, getting a nod in response. "Once I undastand somethin', anythin' negative 'bout it goes away. Like knowin' 'bout the cycle a violence in families and how the abused tend ta turn inta abusas themselves. I undastand why me parents did what they did, and while it wasn' remotely right, ain' shite can be done 'bout the past, so what's the point makin' a fuss?"

"Seriously?" Rosita asked a bit snidely. "That's all it takes, you to understand something?"

"Yep," she said with the familiar pop that had Daryl smirking behind her, bringing her back closer into his chest. "Unlike all a ya, me emotional receptors aren't designed ta gradually shift from one gear ta anotha. For ya, it's like goin' down a wata slide; twists and turns and loops 'til ya get ta the big finish and hit the pool; when ya come up for air that's when the ride's ova. For me, it's more like havin' a movie playin' and if I'm bored with the movie, I can jus' switch the channel ta somethin' betta. Undastandin' why somethin' happened let's me let it go."

"Okay," Rosita said long with a nod. "That doesn't explain his change."

Ani looked back at Daryl the best she could from where she was at, "What change? Ain' a damn thing changed 'bout 'im."

"Right, 'cause going from no contact to practically conjoined is 'nothing.'"

That comment had most of the group either chuckling or smiling, knowing Daryl always had a hold of Ani when she was in arms length, prompting Carol to say, "Practically conjoined is all they really know. You should see the way they sleep on top of each other."

"Yeah, that's actually normal. The way you two were being was actually starting to freak me out," Glenn admitted.

"Sorry 'bout that. Me fault. Got lost in me head, makin' me skin crawl all the damn time, and had ta knock a very important lesson ta meself home," she said giving an apologetic smile to the group. "Shouldn' happen again. Least ways not 'cause a what is was 'bout this time."

"'Bout damn time you two got your shit together," Merle said. "Too bad none of this wood can burn. Too wet. All we got is hay and books."

"Let me go through the books first!" Ani said, suddenly sitting up, making Daryl huff and a few others shake their heads with chuckles. "Only got me original collection now! Need me books!"

They settled in after a while, Carl, Judith, and Sophia falling asleep against the wall of the barn with Bobby and Catty curled up at Judith's butt between the two young teens. Ani leaned against Daryl and sighed as she watched them, noticing Rick watching them too. Rick noticed that Carl was once again holding Sophia's hand and smiled to himself before frowning.

"Hey," Ani said. "They're okay. They're betta capable a handlin' all a this than any a us."

"I used to feel sorry for kids that have to grow up now," Rick told her. "In this. But I think I got it wrong. Growin' ups' gettin' used to the world. This is easier for them."

"This isn't the world," Michonne said. "This isn't it."

"It kinda is, Michy," Ani said.

"It might be," Glenn agreed. "It might."

"That's giving up," the woman tried to argue.

"Nah, it's not. It's the reality a the situation."

"Until we see otherwise," Rick said, completely agreeing with Ani. "This is what we have to live with." Looking at them all he turned back to the fire, "When I was a kid, I asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that was grown-up stuff so...so I asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet." Rick looked down at the ground, playing with a piece of straw before looking up and finding he had Ani's full attention as she leaned forward listening to him. "He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. He told himself everyday, 'Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war.' And then after a few years of pretending that he was dead, he made it out alive. And that's the truth of it, I think. We do what we have to do, and then we get to live."

"That's what I've been sayin' all along. Do what ya gotta do," Ani said with a nod of her head.

"No matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead."

"Nah, hell nah!"

"We ain't them," Daryl said, going to stand up and grabbing Ania's hand to help her.

"Hey, we're not," Rick told them, realizing how upset they were.

"We ain't them," Daryl repeated as the pair made their way back towards the door to stand guard.

Daryl was leaning against a post holding onto Ania a couple hours later, just enjoying having her in his arms again, where she belonged. Everyone else was sleeping and door kept banging open, the chain rattling harshly as the wind and rain entered through the large gap. Daryl let go of Ania who went to close the door while he found something to better seal it up. Her sharp gasp and cry of no and immediate pushing on the doors with all her might alerted him to the fact that something was wrong. His own gasp sounded as he pushed on the doors around her, allowing her to put her back to it and look at him. If she was going to be taken out by a horde of walkers breaking down the barn door, the last thing she wanted to see was her husband's face.

Maggie was quick to join them, followed by Sasha shortly there after. The sound must have alerted the others as one by one and then suddenly all at once they were surrounded by their family. Ani cried out in fear as Daryl's body was pushed into hers when Abraham collided with them, using all his bulky strength to help keep the doors shut. Between the thunder, the rain, the walkers, the wind, and being literally surrounded by moving bodies, Ani's breathing started coming out in sharp, short gasps.

"Stay with me, Ania!" Daryl shouted at her, causing her to look up into his eyes keep fighting, working on taking longer breaths and holding them for a second before letting them out. "Keep fightin' it. We got this, baby girl."

It seemed to take forever, but the sound and movement outside began to die down and the fight against the door stopped. As soon as she didn't have to push against the door, Ani was wrapped as tightly around Daryl as she could get, face buried in his neck and arms tightly around his shoulders while her legs were wrapped around his waist. He kept whispering in her ear that she'd done good, even as her body was wracked with tremors.

"What's her problem now?" Rosita asked.

"Doesn't like feelin' trapped," Sophia told her. "And she literally trapped herself to help us, so back off."

"I do believe that given the prior circumstances that such a reaction is within the perimeters of normal," Eugene said; if he could hold onto someone like Miss Ani was, that would certainly be lovely right about now considering he'd almost shat himself.

"Storm's passin' on," Merle state. "Don't look like any more problems tonight."

"Alright," Rick said. "Let's all get some rest. In the mornin', we'll head back out."

Daryl took Ani to the back of the barn where they could keep an eye on the door but both needing to sleep. He took off his vest and shirt, deciding he wanted contact with Ania's skin and knowing she had one of those half-shirts of hers under the longer top she had on. He grabbed her hips and brought his hands up under the edge of her shirt and made sure that she did actually have the crop-top on before he took her shirt all the way off and laid down. Ani wasted no time practically climbing on top of him and wrapping her arms around him as best she could as he did the same to her. It'd been a long time since they'd had any contact like this, but damn if it didn't feel good. As relaxation combined with exhaustion, Daryl leaned over and kissed Ania's forehead.

"I love you, baby girl. I'm sorry."

"I love ya too, Daddy D," she mumbled against his chest. "I'm sorry too."