RaphaeltheCowboy: I'm glad I saved Beth too. And I have plans for Merle. Already set it up, actually. The rivalry will become easier to understand the more you read because it's actually something that we face a lot being a versie, and that is ignorance. It's something that's touched on in this chapter and is further hit on later.
KEZZ 1: I am glad you are enjoying it! I hope that it was appropriately funny and that I'm not coming on too strong with the innuendos...Kinda just figure after a month they'd be a little frisky...lol...
So, this chapter is a little heavy with Ani's trauma being picked up. Nothing bad...YET...
The group walked up to the gate, Ani's ears pricking as she heard a child laughing while presumably running past the gate. Ani, Merle, and Daryl shared a look as a section of it was slowly rolled open, none of them particularly ready to get back to society or civilization. While being on the road for so long was wearying, Ani would have been just as happy with a cabin out in the woods, Daryl and Merle even more so. They were all standing and watching as Rick walked up and Aaron helped Eric inside the fences. Maybe that's why when the metal bin that was on the side of the road rattled, everyone immediately prepared for attack. As the opossum knocked the bin over and made a run for it, Daryl shot and killed it, going to pick it up and earning a judgmental look from a new face at the gate.
"We brought dinner," Daryl quipped, Ani snorting and hiding her chuckle as everyone else stared.
"It's okay," Aaron told the man. "Come on in, guys," he directed at them.
Slowly and cautiously, they walked through the gates, the man glancing at the kittens on the ground as he closed the gate behind them. Several could see Ani becoming panicked by this, Merle walking up to her and nudging her with his elbow to get her to tear her frightened eyes away from the closed gate. Especially when they started rolling a covering over the gate that would effectively cut off any sight line they had to the vehicles. Walking over to where Daryl had stopped, she stopped behind him, putting her forehead against his back and taking a breath to calm down before stepping out.
"Before we take this any further, I need you all to turn over your weapons," the newcomer said.
"Hell nah! Ya neva said anythin' 'bout that!" Ani immediately recoiled, feeling really put off by the request.
"You stay, you hand them over," he told her.
"We don't know if we want to stay," Rick stated, realizing that Ani was having doubts about her choice to come here.
"It's-it's fine, Nicholas," Aaron told the man.
"If we were gonna use them, we would have started already," Rick warned the man, Ani nodding in agreement while shrugging a shoulder.
"Let them talk to Deanna first," Aaron told Nicholas, making Ani freeze.
"Who's Deanna?" Abraham asked, just as miffed as Merle that they wanted their weapons and had cut off contact from the vehicles.
"She knows everything you'd want to know about this place," Aaron offered. "Rick, why don't you start?"
Rick looked around at the sound of snarling and called for Sasha, who took aim and fired, exploding it's head. "It's a good thing we're here."
~x~
"She wants to speak to you next," Rick told Ani as he came out of Deanna's house.
"Why me?"
"Apparently, you're a person of interest," he told her.
"Right," she said sarcastically, all color draining from her face as she squeezed Daryl's hand before ascending the steps to the porch.
Walking into the house, Ani put her game face on, her mask of indifference and cold eyes returning as she took in her surroundings. Just entering the house made her skin crawl due to it's similarity to her childhood home. Every memory of running through the door to get away flooded her mind as she took another deep breath, holding the kittens just a little tighter and wishing Daryl, or even Merle or Sophia, could be with her right now. It was definitely more the place than having to meet and 'audition' with this Deanna person. She was in the middle of looking over the veritable library of books in this house when she heard a throat clear behind her, Ani immediately shifting the cats to one arm and drawing a throwing knife. Swinging around instinctively throwing it, slipping at the last second so that it landed in the wall behind the woman who stood looking at Ani in just as much shock as Ani momentarily had.
"Apologies, but ya shouldn' be sneakin' up on any a us, even if we know ya here," she told the woman sheepishly as said person grabbed the knife from the wall.
"Rick said you were good with a knife," the woman said, handing it back to her, not offering her hand to shake. "Rick said you didn't like being touched, so I apologize if I seem rude. I'm Deanna Monroe"
"Ani Dixon. And it's fine. Rick was right."
"Do you mind if I film our talk?"
"A little, yeah. Why ya filmin' anyway?"
"We like being transparent, thus the filming. Like Rick saying you have several names, yet you call yourself Ani."
"Don' like me picta taken. And me husband's the only one who calls me Ania. Everyone else calls me Ani. Any otha name I had don' matta. I got me name now, and that's the one I'm keepin' with," she said as she paced.
"I would still like to record it, if it's not asking too much," Deanna insisted.
"Fine. But don' 'xpect me ta be lookin' happy 'bout it."
"I understand," Deanna said as she began filming. "What were your other names?"
"Why's it matta?"
"Everything matters. We have families here, looking for loved ones. What if it was your family?"
"Me family is outside waitin' ta do this ridiculous audition. Ya know we could take this place from ya with barely any fight, right? Ya sent the most untrained, unorganized, and frankly, obviously expendable people out ta recruit. I don' see the people in 'ere bein' much betta."
"My son was in ROTC."
"And 'e's been behind these walls for the most part since the beginnin', right?"
"That's right."
"Then 'e ain' got shite compared ta what ya need nowadays. Might got the gun trainin', but I doubt 'e has the right mindset, let alone the capability ta take down several walkas at once."
"We could, if you were willing to help."
"Find a different mole-hill. I ain' wantin' ta train everyone and anyone. Merle and Abe would be good for that kinda thing, trainin' the troops. And Sasha. I'll only work with the best a the best recruits."
"Sounds like you're already making plans to improve this place," Deanna stated, realizing just how much family meant to this group through Rick and Ani's speeches. "You still haven't answered the question about your other names, though. What if someone shows up asking for you and we don't know who they are talking about? Or what if someone was looking for you from your past that happened to be brought in? Is there no one you would want to know you're alive?"
Ani thought about Grady and the officers there, about the few friends and acquaintances she'd had in college that tolerated her existence. If they showed up, they'd ask for Tea, not Ani. Sighing deeply, Ani responded, "Titania Parker, or Tea. That was me name 'fore everythin'."
"A unique name," Deanna said, trying to think of where she'd heard it before. "What did you do? Before all this?"
"This, that, and anotha," Ani said unhelpfully before relenting. "Professionally, I was a forensic psychologist. On the side? I was foragin', huntin', keepin' up me studies as an apothecary. I was teachin' psychology and learnin' Judo, Maui Thai and basic MMA all around. I was and still am a lot of things."
"Like the leader, even though everyone thinks it's Rick?" Deanna said knowingly.
"Yep. He had a rough go a it a while back. Lost 'is wife, so lost 'is head."
"And you took over and started training everyone in self-defense and other such things."
"Yeah."
"Rick mentioned that you're neurodiverse and wouldn't want to be trapped inside the walls. Care to elaborate?"
"I'm autistic and ADHD. He was right. I won' wanna be here all the time. I won' wanna talk ta people all the time. Hell, I don' wanna be in this damn house. Too simila ta what I lived in with me parents. Makin' me skin crawl," she said, still pacing and looking around, her eyes darting to the exits every now and then. "Beginnin' ta rethink me choice in comin' 'ere."
"Just because of the houses?"
"They make me uncomfortable."
"You can get used to them."
"Ya, and a person can get used ta rape, too. Don' mean it ain' still rape."
"You certainly know how to make a point clear. Why does the house bother you? You said it was similar to the one you lived in with your parents? Is that why?"
"All these damn houses are," Ani spat, her nerves getting the better of her as she went into a tirade. "Every damn bannista. Every damn porch. Every damn time someone came ova and I had ta pretend ta be happy. Every damn lash and whip and cut! Every punch! Every kick! Every time they locked me in the basement! Every time they...every time they..."
"Ani. Ani? I need you to sit down and try to take a deep breath. You're having a panic attack. Is there anything I can get you that will help?" Deanna asked, realizing through the young woman's words that her home life had been extremely terrible; if she had placed her name right, she could understand why.
"Daryl," she said immediately before reaching out and grabbing Deanna's wrist when the lady went to move. "Nah. Nah, don'. He can' know. Not that it got this bad."
"If he can help-"
"I jus' got outta a bad go 'round with 'im 'cause a me mind goin' wonky. I don'...I don' want 'im thinkin' I can' handle me shit still. Don' need 'im worryin' like 'e was. Will only make it harda for 'im ta relax if we stay."
"You must really care about him."
"He's me husband. And I did a lot wrong recently. I can'...I can' let 'im see me like this."
"Alright, I can understand that. How about a change of subject?" Deanna asked as Ani let go of her and nodded. "May I ask you, where do you think you'll fit in, if you decide to stay?"
"Honestly? I couldn' tell ya. Prolly won' fit in anywhere. People don' like different," Ani said with a shrug of the shoulder. "We got a lot a people that can fit across all sorts of dynamics, though. 'Xcept Gene and Gabe. Gene's got one good thing 'bout 'im, and that's his mind, so ya gotta put 'im on somethin' that needs brain powa. Gabe's a bit lost right now. Afta learnin' how everythin' goes, he's havin' a problem findin' 'is faith. Daryl, me, and Phia are damn good huntas and Carl's good for watch. Beth's real good with the young ones."
"The kids won't have jobs here, not until they're out of school," Deanna informed her.
"Uh, what's the subjects? 'Cause if ya teachin' 'em the same shite as was taught in the old world, ya jus' wastin' our kids' time. Carl and Phia know all they need ta know as far as science and math and writin' go. The rest can be learned by doin'. We need trade skills now, not standardized. Need weapon and combat trainin'. That's the kind a schoolin' y'all need ta be givin' ya kids, not what school used ta be."
"We're trying to build civilization back up. That includes school, though it sounds to me like you're trying to make sure this place and it's people stay safe."
"Ya got kids 'ere. A course I'm tryin' ta make sure this places stays safe! Even if it means I gotta take it ova!"
"And would you?"
"If I have ta."
"And how would you go about doing that?"
"Not so hard," Ani admitted. "Kinda already doin' it by tellin' ya all this shite. Jus' gotta open me mouth and speak and I bet I'll get a lot a attention on me points. 'Sides, I'm sure Aaron briefed ya 'bout Terminus."
"He did. And Rick told me about the Governor. You are a very intriguing woman. I give everyone jobs here. When I find one for you, I'll let you know."
"Can' I jus' be a hunta and gathara? Go out in the woods and get what I can get?"
"You could, or you could do so much more."
"Don' wanna do more. Not 'til I know what this place is."
"This place is safe, Ani. I promise. Nothing will harm you or your family while you are here," Deanna said, trying to emphasize the fact.
"We'll see."
"I suppose you will," Deanna said. "Will you please ask Michonne to come in next."
Ani left the house and immediately ran to Daryl's arms, "Wants Michy."
"You alright?" Daryl asked, his arms wrapped around her, feeling his wife shaking so badly he could swear she was having a panic attack.
Not telling him the full truth, she simply said, "This place. Reminds me a home."
Daryl and Merle gave each other a look, Daryl's arms tightening around her even more, "Ain't there, baby girl. Ain't there."
"You're here with us, Ani," Merle said, coming to put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Shouldn't it be a good thing if you're reminded of home?" Tara asked innocently, making several members of the original group flinch and the three Dixons freeze completely, inhaling deep breaths as all three were wracked with memories of their childhoods.
"Not every home wants ta or should be rememba'd. Me home. Got 'nough scars on me body ta rememba it. I don' wanna deal with more remindas!"
"Your scars?!" Tara asked; due to Daryl and Ani fighting, the newcomers had only garnered random bits of information. "I thought, with all the fighting you do..."
"Some a 'em are, but not a lot. Not nearly as many as what me blood gave me."
"Why would they do that?" Rosita asked, a new light shining on the girl she was jealous of; she'd been the best fighter in the group and Abraham's center of attention before the girl came along and now she was neither.
"'Cause I'm a versie. Weren' nothin' more'n that. That's why me and Daryl were fightin' so bad, ta be honest. 'Cause they always told me how no one would love me 'cause I'm a versie and then wrong things were said at the wrong time outta anga and fear. 'Cause they still get in me head. They're why I'm so quick in me reactions, too. When ya spend ya life watchin' for the next swingin' fist, ya learn how ta dodge and take a punch and make it look like ya been hurt. If I weren' so damn dead set on figyarin' out me mind and then fallen in love with figyarin' otha people out, I'd've been a stunt-woman."
"Really?" Sophia asked.
"Damn straight. Would a made a damn good one, too," Ani said proudly.
"If anyone here doubts you after that Mission Impossible shit you pulled back at Terminus, well, they must have their peepers up their ass," Abraham commented, earning a chuckled murmur of agreement.
~x~
When Daryl's turn came up, he passed the still shaking Ania over to Merle, giving him a look that clearly meant it was his ass if she was in worse shape when Daryl got back out. He paced the room as the woman in front of him talked about the place and how it worked. How there were fully capable and self-sufficient. How the wall went up. A bunch of other stuff as he just walked around, looking at things, picking a few things up. Even though he and Ania were having difficulties for different reasons, he could still understand why this place made her feel anxious.
"You can sit, Daryl," Deanna told him. "I won't bite."
"Yeah, I'm alright."
"Daryl, do you want to be here?"
"The kids and the baby," he told her. "They deserve a roof. I guess."
"And you? Don't you think you deserve a roof too? What about Ani?"
"Don't bring her into this."
"I was just asking. Don't you want a real home where you could start a family with your wife?" Deanna asked, not even bothered by the age gap; she'd seen larger ones in congress.
"Could make a home right out in those woods and she'd be happier."
"So she implied. She's not too fond of the houses. Do they hold the same...unpleasant...memories for you?"
"Never been in one before," he admitted, looking around while pacing. "Ania, she told you?"
"I asked a few questions and got the gist of it. How did you two get together?" Deanna asked, intrigued as to what their story was.
"Just did."
"Were you together before or after?"
"What's it matter?"
"Just curious. You know, she had a panic attack. When I asked if she needed anything, you were the only thing she said."
"Why didn't you come get me, then?" he growled out at her.
"She didn't want you to worry and stopped me when I went to get you. Changed the subject instead. That kind of care and devotion, I can see it in you towards her as well. I imagine you'll have a hard time separating from her in here."
"Hmm," he said, going over to the window, looking out and seeing Ania staring at the window intently.
"She can be safe here, have a stable place to go to if she needs time alone. A place that is hers. And yours. I might not know autism and ADHD, but I do know a little about mental illness. Stability seems to always be the one thing that helps heal the mind. And she said herself that she hasn't been the best lately."
Daryl stood there, looking at his wife as she smiled warmly up at him. Deanna wasn't wrong. Just like over the winter, she was already being quiet, speaking less and less to the group aside from handing out orders. Maybe if they stayed, maybe if they gave this place a chance, she could finally settle and have a chance to deal with everything. She'd been so bright and full of life at the prison. He wanted to see that from her again, see the person who talked to everyone and made sure they were doing alright. The person who would just look at him with eyes that sparkled with joy just at being alive, not the ones that were dull, almost dead, that looked at him now. She said she needed this, even if she was second guessing herself.
"Just think about it. Now, I normally give everyone a job, but I'm not sure where you would fit best. For now, why don't you send Eugene in?"
~x~
"They're still your guns," Deanna was telling them roughly an hour and a half later as they stood in front of the house they community used as a pantry of sorts. "You can check them out whenever you go beyond the wall. But inside here, we store them for safety."
"That's dumb. Ya should have at least a few with guns mannin' the walls," Ani commented as she put down her pistol, training her face, unlike the others, into one of annoyance as Carol pretended to have problems with her large rifle. Ani could tell what she was up to, so to add to her cover and take away any doubts do to the others' faces, she said, "Come on, Cars! Ya should at least be able ta take it off by now!"
"Sorry," she said as she sheepishly and awkwardly put the thing on the cart.
"Should've brought another bin," the lady in charge of the panty, Olivia, stated with a smile.
"Prolly. Be worse if ya were taken our knives," Ani quipped.
"We wouldn't want you to feel unprotected," Deanna told her.
"Yet ya took our guns."
"It's only until you leave the gate, I assure you," Deanna said, understanding that the woman was feeling even antsier now. "I'll have Aaron show you to your houses."
Deanna left to get Aaron, leaving Ani to walk over to Carol, Merle and Sophia coming up with her, "Y'all did like I told ya?"
"Never mentioned her," Carol said.
"I said I lost my parents. But I got my Pops and my sister now."
"Yep, same here. Not a word," Merle said.
"Good. That family drama can stay in the past. No one here needs ta know 'bout it. It'll only lead ta questions we don' wanna answa."
"You mean that I don't want to answer," Carol acknowledged the fact as she and Ani walked away from Merle and Sophia and over to Daryl. "I appreciate the help, Ani. I really do."
"Didn' do it for ya. Jus' don' want questions asked and needed someone who can hide in plain sight. Ya the only one that can do that aside from Beth, and she's good at information gatharin', but it seems like they've got a lot more olda folks than younga, so ya the one that worked the best," Ani said honestly, not really having taken into consideration Carols feelings on the matter, or anyone's really, when she'd pulled a few aside the night before to talk.
Even if Ani agreed to come here, she wasn't agreeing to walking around blindly. And now that they'd taken the group's guns, she was even more confident that they needed someone who could blend in or be lost in a crowd. Beth's job was to keep up her innocent appearance, letting others help her, keeping that sweet smile. Essentially, if no one knew what Beth could do, that was for the benefit of the group. She hadn't told everyone. Only those involved with her little plans knew, though she planned on telling Rick and involving him in the entirety of it now that they were here and she knew what the place looked like. He might have been wrong about not wanting to come here, but he was right that this was a potentially dangerous play. She'd thought long and hard on the ride here about the possibilities of this place, and now she needed to see how it really worked.
Daryl reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into his side as they walked down the street. She wrapped an arm around him as his dropped on her shoulder. He really hadn't been kidding when he'd told her she better stick to him like glue. He wasn't ready to let go of her after their fight, especially now that he knew she was coming down from a panic attack. Daryl couldn't believe that she'd managed to hold it back and shut it down on her own. Even though he knew she could, he'd been there to help every time since she'd wormed her way into his life. Ever since that day at the log that they first got high together, that's when he'd known he was in love with her and started being there every time she got anxious.
"Said you had a panic attack," he said quietly as they followed behind Aaron and Rick.
"Bitch needs ta learn ta keep 'er mouth shut."
"Glad she told me."
"I'm not."
Daryl just snorted at Ania's childish pouting before stopping, making a few of the others walk around them. "Don't hide shit like that from me, baby girl. Don't stop someone from gettin' me either, got it?"
"I jus' didn' want ya worryin' any more'n ya already are," she admitted silently.
"Never gonna stop worryin' 'bout you," he told her before giving her a small kiss and turning to walk back to the group.
"Both of them?" they heard Rick ask as they stopped in front of a blue and a pale yellow mansion sized house.
"At your disposal. I'd call dibs on that one," he said nodding his head to the pale yellow how Ani was staring at, a death grip on Daryl's hand and arm. "It's got more curb appeal. Listen, I know you're still feeling us out, but I'm glad you came. Deanna's asked everyone to give you your space so they aren't all coming at you at once. Take your time. Explore. You need anything, you call me." After taking in both Rick and Carl's confused faces, Aaron reiterated, "We don't have phones. I—I meant...I'm four houses down."
"Thank you," Carl said before Aaron awkwardly excused himself.
"I like 'im. He's good people," Ani managed to get out, her voice sounding tight as she spoke, but unable to do anything about it.
That yellow house. It was too similar. It was too close. She shook her head as Daryl pulled her to the blue house, following everyone else to the blue house. He'd noticed how her eyes had been glued to the yellow house and wanted it out of her sight sooner rather than later. He understood what was going on. After what Deanna had said, combined with her basic distaste for the houses in general, it was pretty damn easy to tell that that house was reminding her of her actual childhood home.
"Don't look," he told her, letting go of her hand to create a barrier with his arm between her eyes and that house. "Don't even gotta set foot over there."
"I do," she said very quietly and weakly.
"No, Ania, you don't."
"I have...I have ta see inside. Even if I know, I gotta know. I gotta see and make sure it ain' theirs. It ain' them."
"I'll go with you."
"Nah. Nah, D. Ya jus' be ready when I come back out."
"Alright, but you don't gotta go right now. Calm down first."
"Don't think that's gonna happen right now."
"Come on," he told her, bringing her into the house as everyone explored it.
There were six bedrooms in this one house, each and every one complete with beds ranging from twin in what were obviously meant to be kids' rooms to king in the master bedroom. Ani joking called dibs on the master suite, telling Daryl he could really throw her around on that size of bed. When she heard the sound of scraping, she turned around and found the man carving their names into the door as if he was marking his territory before he looked back at her smirking. Ani realized she'd joked herself into the grave and started blushing as Abraham walked in and saw it, just shaking his head in agreement when he saw the names.
"Well, it sure as hell ain't for the room on the bed you want it," he said before shaking his head once more before walking out of the room with a clap on Daryl's shoulders. "Just try to keep it down. Some of us want some sleep."
"Get the fuck outta here, Red! Ain' no one sleepin' in the rooms tanight anyways! Should stay downstairs. Who knows if they'll try somethin' while we're sleepin'."
Heading back outside, Daryl sat at the steps to the porch as he began to process the opossum from earlier; he wasn't kidding about it being dinner. Throwing the guts on the porch where the kittens had been sitting and waiting patiently, he watched with a scoff as they pounced on the guts and started eating. Ani was standing next to him, staring straight at the yellow house. Even the damn furniture on the porch is practically the same, she thought to herself while folding her arms over her body. Carl and Carol were also looking at it, though their expressions were more of curiosity than trepidation.
"You can look," Rick told Carl. "Just be quick."
"Okay," the boy said, heading down the porch, accidentally stepping on Bobby's foot. Hissing and yowling followed by a swipe at Carl's leg had Carl saying, "Sorry...whichever one you are."
"Bobby," Ani answered, touching Daryl's shoulder, making him look up at her and follow her with his eyes as she went down the steps.
Carol followed them, knowing Ani was having some sort of issue with the houses. Whatever it was, Carl and Carol ended up entering the house first, Ani's body shaking as she slowly walked towards the porch. It ain' that house. It ain'. They ain' here. Ya jus' gotta get up these steps and ya'll see. Come on, Ani, ya ain' that much a wimp, she thought to herself as she forced herself to take a cautious step up. One after the other, she made her way up, not noticing when Daryl moved from the porch, let alone Rosita coming out.
Ani balked at the door, hearing Carl and Carol comment about how the houses were like mansions and were just being given out. Steeling herself and her will, she entered the house and looked around. The layout was similar, but the furniture was different. Hardwood floors replaced carpeted ones. The brick fireplace was now white stone. The kitchen was dark blue rather than red and beige. Heading upstairs, the layout was similar, but different at the same time. Where offices had been the first two rooms in her house, they were meant to be kids' rooms here. The room she was allowed to use and Chrys's room were where she expected, the master bedroom furthest back and ending the hallway. She went back downstairs and into kitchen, finding the familiar door she knew all too well about.
Opening it, she descended into the basement, finding it finished and furnished as well, a twin bed in the corner bringing a slew of memories where the finishing wasn't done and a brick wall with a well hidden steel door cut off view of the bed. For a moment, she was locked back in that hidden room as her breathing came in harsh while she reminded herself that it wasn't real. The intense wave of realization, the fear she'd felt from it all, had her running up the stairs and through the house, right past the door. As soon as she was off the steps, she bent over at the waist and puked.
"Here," she heard as a bottle of water was thrust her direction. "You look like you could use it," Rosita said.
"Thanks," Ani said as she took the bottle.
"What'd you find in there to make you sick, anyway?"
"Nothin'. Found nothin'. Jus' rememba'd a lot."
"Were your parents really that bad that they beat you just because you're different?"
"Look at how ya've been treatin' me. Ain' that hard ta imagine me parents didn' like me eitha," Ani reasoned with a shrug, thankful for the somewhat change in subject; at least she had something other than the house to focus on.
"Look, I know I've been giving you a hard time. You kind of made it easy to," Rosita tried to explain, only to be cut off by Ani.
"No, I didn' make it easy. Society made it easy for everyone ta be hard on people like me. 'Cause we ain' the same, society says it's okay ta make us feel worse 'bout the shite we can' control. 'Cause we don' have the same minds, society says we're useless 'cause we shut down sometimes. 'Cause we don' act the same way, society pegs us as guilty whetha or not we did the crime. I didn' do nothin' but need me space and time ta make ya a bitch ta me. Ya did that all on ya own. Don' go blamin' othas for ya own shortcomin's."
Rosita thought about it for a moment as Carol came out of the house, "You're right. I didn't have to be a bitch. I'll just be honest, then. I don't really like you. You pull everyone's attention to yourself and give no consideration to how others feel about you doing it. You are selfish and demanding and I don't like you."
"Eva think ya projectin' 'cause ya jealous?"
"What?!" Rosita said, shocked the girl hit the nail on the head.
"'Cause Red and I get on like a couple a monkeys munchin' bananas and I kinda showed ya up in fightin'. I'll give ya that I pull attention ta meself, but I don' mean ta. That's jus' how it is when ya mind don' work right. I'm always thinkin' 'bout othas and how they feel 'round me, 'bout me, 'bout the stress and danga I put 'em unda. Hell, been thinkin' a lot on how ta help ya get ova whateva shite ya got against me. I can be demandin', but I'm a leada, I gotta be. And as far as emotionally demandin', well, again, I'm always self-conscious 'bout that and try me damnedest not ta put it on anyone. But, again, I can' help it 'cause a me mind. Sure, I'm selfish, rude, crude, and a downright bitch at times, but who isn'? I ain' tryin' ta cause ya problems, Rose. I'm jus' fuckin' livin', same as ya."
"You haven't caused any problems, Ani," Carol said, coming up to the girl and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder as she looked pale as a ghost and was shaking so badly water was sloshing from the bottle she had opened to take a drink.
Ani had good points, but Rosita still felt like she did a lot of what she did on purpose. It was hard to believe that someone could have such huge reactions and comebacks by no fault of their own. She firmly believed that the girl had been acting out to get attention, but with how she'd argued, Rosita was starting to understand a little better. It was her way of thinking that might be wrong. It wasn't like she had much experience with people like Ani, Eugene being much quieter and simple in his attitude than Ani.
And that was another thing, how could Ani, Eugene, and Abraham's brother all be autistic and act differently? She was obviously smart like Eugene. They both had a tendency to talk fast and long, too. The excitement they would find at little things and the gratitude of little gestures went hand in hand. But emotionally, they couldn't have been further apart. Where Eugene would bawl like a baby when he was scared or upset, Ani would jump off a building and keep fighting. Where Eugene had cried when he was sad, Ani had 'shut down' and literally basically barely talked, slept, ate, or moved the entire time. Eugene didn't like looking people in the eye while Ani only looked at the person who was talking to her when she talked back. And then there was what Abraham had said about William and how he hadn't been able to function without routine. Ani seemed to have a little of that need for stability according to the others when they talked about the winter, but Eugene certainly had had no problem handling the idea of what comes comes. If the three were all the same thing, how could they be so different?
Rosita looked at Ani and sighed, "What would you do?"
"Huh?"
"To help me?"
"Well, ya good at fightin', but ya only know beginna boxin' if I'm not mistaken."
"Okay how?" Rosita asked, not having mentioned any of her history to the girl.
"Ya stance when ya go ta fight. That's a boxa's stance. I'm trained in MMA. Thought maybe ya might like ta learn some otha styles a fightin'," Ani said nonchalantly with a shrug to boot. "Can' do nothin' 'bout Red, though. Ain' 'bout ta get involved in ya love affairs. Jus', do me a fava?"
"What's that?"
"Don' be blamin' Sasha for whateva's goin' on 'tween ya and Red. She lost Bob and Ty; whateva's goin' on. Ain' 'er fault."
Breathing in heavily and sighing, Rosita nodded her head, "I'll try."
"That's all I can' ask. Once we've settled in 'ere, we can start talkin' trainin'. But I ain' trainin' ya here. We'll take it ta the woods. No one needs ta see what we can do."
"Alright," she said before walking away; she would have to wait until the training to find out more answers.
"Come on, I'll take you to Daryl," Carol said, helping Ani stand up straighter and walk as the girl's knees gave out when she went to take a step.
"Thanks, Cars. And thanks for standin' up for me," Ani told the women in earnest.
"Thought you could use the back-up, is all," Carol said, bringing Ani around to the small walkway between the houses where Daryl and Rick were coming up. Daryl jogged up to Ani and let her wrap her arms around his neck as he held her off the ground while Carol spoke, "They're right next to each other, but-"
"They took our weapons and now they're splitting us up?" Rick said.
"Yeah," Daryl agreed.
"That's what it looks like. Should all stay in the blue house tanight."
"I think so too," Rick said. "Stay downstairs. Keep together. You okay?"
"Nah, but I'll be alright."
"What's with you and that house?"
"Jus', if I thought livin' in a community that was like me hometown was hard, that house is Hell itself," Ani said, pointing at the yellow house. "Layout's damn near the same as the one I lived in. Same color on the outside. Same enough layout on the inside. Went down ta the basement. There's a bed down there. Out in the open, nothin' blockin' it, but damn if I wasn' back in me own basement, stuck in that tiny ass room they'd lock me in."
"Why'd you go in?" Carol asked, confused by why the woman would force herself into a situation like that.
"I had ta see. I had ta make sure it wasn' that house, even though I knew it wasn'. It's like, me mind wouldn' settle 'less I went in and saw for meself that it wasn'..."
"We should head in," Rick said, nodding his head in understanding before he and Carol left her standing alone with Daryl.
"You gonna be alright?"
"Always will."
"Ania, don't give me that bullshit. We can leave. You and me. We can go to the woods, make a place out there for ourselves. We don't have to stay here," he told her, putting her down and looking at her in the eye. "I can take you away from all this and we'd never have to come back."
Ani looked at him with such a look of adoration and admiration that it made his stomach tighten before saying, "I'd love that, D. And if it don' work out for us here, that's what we'll do. But we gotta try, right? Can' jus' pussy out 'cause a a house."
"Alright," he said before he went to kiss her.
Pulling away, she indicated the bottle in her hand, "Literally jus' puked."
Daryl made a face at her and then kissed her anyway; not like it mattered before. He gave her a quick kiss before pulling her back over to the porch of the blue house and settled back down, pulling out a cigarette he'd gotten from the pantry and lighting it. She sat down on the step below his, leaning back against his chest as the kittens climbed first onto his leg and then into her lap. He even scratched Bobby's head as the kitten headbutted his wrist for attention.
"Looks like Bobby really likes ya," she quipped. "Looks like 'e's grown on ya, too."
"Guess they're not so bad. Gotta train 'em up like huntin' dogs. Then they'll be alright," he told her, leaning forward until he could put his chin on her head.
"That is the plan," she sighed back. "I missed this."
"Missed us," Daryl said, wrapping an arm under her breasts. "Still fuckin' need you."
"Take a showa with me and ya can have what ya need again," she said seductively, running her fingers up his arm.
"Shower's too fuckin' small. Remember the CDC?"
"Yeah, but these showas, Rick said the one downstairs is a cascade showahead. Ya should see the one in the masta suite we nicked. It's a fuckin' a fuckin' cascade panel. The showa itself is as big as the room in the CDC. I think we can make it work," she said, turning just a bit and giving him a cheeky smile.
"Mmm, maybe," he said before pulling her back to him.
They enjoyed the quiet ambiance of the scenery, even though it made them both antsy. Staying on the porch until Sasha came out and told them dinner was done, they just held each other and pet the kittens. Neither were overly interested in being in the house. After dinner, everyone began claiming spots in the living room of the house. Ani and Daryl chose a window by Little Lady's bassinet, an actual bassinet for her to sleep in! Ani smiled as she looked around the room, spying Carol writing on the couch as Glenn smiled softly at Maggie who was smelling the fresh linen blankets. Sasha was staring out one window while Abraham was staring at her with a worried look on his face. Rosita was sitting on the floor looking upset but also like she was thinking, Eugene sitting next to her staring. Daryl was sitting cross legged on what was supposed to be a coffee table, but who was going to tell the man he couldn't sit there? Carl was at the table with Merle and Sophia reading a comic he found in the other house while Noah and Beth looked through a China cabinet that actually had silver in it, making both him and Ani scoff as she walked over to Daryl with Judith in her arms.
"How long was I in there for?" Michonne asked as she came out of the bathroom.
"Twenty minutes," Rick said, the two of them having a conversation about Rick's face.
Ani had stared in horror the first time she saw it and kept looking at his chest instead of his face now. She had mentally prepared for the change of sleeping outdoors to sleeping indoors by convincing herself it was just like when they'd stayed at the prison, only fancier. That had worked to calm her nerves inside this house. She was never stepping foot in the other one again. But seeing Rick's face and hair completely changed, that was too much. It was uncomfortable to look at his face and see it so changed. Gradual, she could tolerate, as his change into having a beard had pretty well been. But all at once?
She leaned over to Daryl when he leaned in to look at Judith and said, "Ya eva shave ya face clean off without givin' me warnin', I ain' havin' sex with ya 'til it grows back."
Daryl chuckled at her before a knock on the door forced them all to look over as Rick walked over and answered it. "Rick I-" Deanna said, stopping and staring at his face. "Wow. I didn't know what was under there. Listen, I-I-I-I don't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to stop by and see how you were all settling. Oh, my," she said as she looked at everyone in the same room. "Staying together. Smart."
"No one said we couldn't," Rick stated.
"You said you're a family. That's what you said," Deanna countered as Daryl grabbed Ania and brought her to his chest as he sat down on the table again. "Absolutely amazing to me how people with completely different backgrounds and nothing in common can become that. Don't you think?"
"Everyone said you gave them jobs?" Rick asked Deanna.
"Mm-hmm. Yeah. Part of this place," she said. "Looks like the communists won after all."
Both she and Ani chuckled at her little joke, Daryl pinching her ass to shut her up as Rick replied, "Well, you haven't given me one yet."
"I have. I just haven't told you yet," she told him. "Same with Michonne. I'm closing in on something for Sasha. And I'm just trying to figure the younger Dixons out, but I will. You look good," she told Rick before leaving.
The rest of the night was uneventful as everyone got ready for bed. She and Daryl lay on a few blankets that served as a pad on the floor next to the bassinet. Daryl had his shirt off while Ani had stripped down into her sports bra. Holding her close, he was quietly giving her kisses in between silent whispers of what he felt for her, what he would do for her, what he was going to do to her later when they were alone. She breathed it all in and let it overwhelm her senses until she couldn't take it anymore and kissed him hard and heavy. When she pulled back, she pulled him down to her chest and held him as he fell asleep listening to her heartbeat. The sound of his breathing and weight of his body lulled her into blissful rest not long after.