4: named

Folding in his fingers, he groped blindly. Cotton slid by his palm and he found nothing but a cold silken surface. Eyes snapping open, Vincent paused and found emptiness in his arms. He shot up and thrown aside the blanket, panic sinking in his heart when he saw nothing but pillows and flatness on his bed, "Kagome!?" His hip twanged in protest.

Light split in his eye and he hissed out a wince. His heart thudded once, "Good morning, milord," her voice cooled the rising intensity in his mind and he took a deep breath. "I hope you've slept well?" Kagome pulled on the curtains, satisfied with the amount of morning rays flooding the dreary room. The fabric fluttered from her hands.

Vincent groaned and ran a hand down his face, "You're hell of an early bird, dear girl." He could not get used to sleeping alone, no matter how many days had passed.

He doubted he ever could.

"Hmm, I did not think it was appropriate to overstay my welcome in your bed." Kagome scuffled over to a sculpted pole of his four-poster bed and minded it, "The butler will arrive soon."

It had been about a week since they had spent their first night together. Kagome was no longer reliant on two clutches during that time period. It was awkward watching his dear girl hobbling with only one, but she was nothing if not determined. As long as the butler gave an all-clear on her recovery status, there was little Vincent could do to protest her healing process. Still, it did not stop him from gnawing the insides of his mouth and nearly drawing blood, worries mounting higher and higher, while watching Kagome being her stubborn self.

He shook his head from his ever-growing concerns. Not missing the particular wordings in Kagome's vocabulary, Vincent quirked a brow. "…you never enjoyed mentioning him. Why do so now?" He planted his feet on the floor and slid out from the bed.

Kagome inhaled.

She did not meet his gaze.

Vincent narrowed, and his lips curved downward. "…What did he do this time?" Irritation was becoming a second nature to him when it comes to the demonic entity. That bloody arrogant—! No, no, spewing insults would do his temper no favor.

"I," Kagome hesitated, "believe it would be better to see for yourself, milord." She still did not face him.

Lumbering his way, Vincent reached out and muttered his demand, "Dear girl—" His fingers were hairbreadth away from caressing her shoulders.

"Good morning, milord!" A voice called in, interrupting Vincent from touching Kagome. It sounded…wrong, young, and somehow familiar all at once. A half-name fell from his lips in a breath, before he snapped his mouth shut. A small part of him dared to hope, but the rest of him squashed that same hope.

They're gone, Vincent.

It did not sound right. As if someone was mimicking his sons' voices, but every pronounced word sounded far too honeyed. Daring. With a slight bite in each syllable. A voice to distrust. He did not want to look.

As the wheels squeaked in through his door, Vincent forced himself to turn his head. "Your breakfast is ready and I'll help you get dress—" His eyes dilated in shock—

And anger.

In a snap, Vincent parked himself in front of his dear girl and burned the boy with his eyes. "Who the hell are you?" He hissed, shielding Kagome behind his back.

Blinking and stilling the breakfast cart, the boy cocked his head and pressed a finger under one of his cinnamon-colored eyes, "Hmm, is this appearance not satisfactory?" He postured himself as a butler would.

Vincent glowered, "You—!"

This boy looked a fair few years older than his sons. He stood almost a foot taller, but the baby fats still clung to his dimpled cheeks. A teenaged boy. He was long-legged, awkwardly lanky as expected for a growing boy, but it was hard for any to deny he was growing up to be a handsome fellow as an adult. Or to ignore the strange resemblances between Vincent and this boy.

This was not his son.

He wore a smile so cheeky Vincent itched to rip it off from his cherubic face. Digging his nails under that fake skin and tear.

The half-butler suit ill-suited him, as if a child actor was play-pretending to be an adult. With a grey-black vest stretched over his white dress shirt, a pair of black slacks barely hiding his lank legs, and polished black dress shoes shining brightly under the morning light, it was apparent to Vincent who this bastard-boy was. The gall of this person.

"Tanaka." He hissed.

The boy butler tutted, "Took you but a moment, milord. Here, I thought you were quicker on the draw!" He clapped his white-gloved hands and brightened his expression, ignoring Vincent's darkened face at his subtle insult, "Had you a good rest, did you?"

He pushed the cart closer and the earthy scent of tea wafted to Vincent's nose. The odor was…off. It was not as calming as his dear girl would have made it. It reminded the lord more of the smell of acidic chemicals than earthy. It was offensive and near-anxiety inducing.

Blending with that awful stench, was the warm scent of breakfast. It barely offset the nausea Vincent felt sinking in his stomach. It was a confusing fusion of odors that it gave him a headache. He stifled that smell by pressing the back of his hand to his nose and made a slight sound.

"Ah—you looked like a right mess, perhaps," the boy beamed, his eyes turning bright red, at Vincent's scowl, "you should return to your bed?"

A mockery! He was making a mockery out of him! Vincent's trigger fingers twitched, and he ached for his favorite pistol. Bullet holes would make for a lovely addition to the imposter's face. "Why?" He strained out, instead. Unfortunately, he left the weapon under his pillow and he was a few too many feet away from it to grab the gun. Or to punch the monster pretending to be a mere boy.

"Hm?" Vincent bristled at the ugly curve in the boy's all-knowing smile. "On my change in appearance, you mean?"

This rotten intimation of a child!

"Answer!" Vincent barked, his patience short.

Tanaka mused, leaning his face on a finger, "I've been considering the missus' criticisms from days prior." There was almost a shrug, but the boy butler refrained. For butlers worth their salt, proper manners were a must. "She was correct in her presumptions that it would be far too suspicious that an old man would be capable of such feats I've displayed." Vincent gritted his teeth at the boy's knowing leer. "So, this is the form I thought best suit me."

"Why," Vincent strangled a sound from the back of his throat. The sound he wasn't sure if it was out of fury, pain, or a mix of every emotion he was feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach, "this appearance?"

Why resemble his sons?

"Is there anything wrong with my look?" The boy laughed, the voice sounding light and pure, but Vincent knew better. There was malice, cruelty, hiding in each breath the boy loosened from his lips, a full mockery at the lord's expenses.

Vincent seethed, his mind struggling to differ between this damned creature and his sons. He knew better, but his heart twisted and burned at seeing his boys in the flesh—if they were a few years older, grew taller, and became mischievous. If they survived and had had their puberty, his boys would've been handsome and charming young gentlemen.

Like this monster wearing one of his sons' faces. Handsome and charming, but with an impure heart and ugly intentions. Vincent burned, "You—!"

A slight touch on his elbow quietened him. "Milord," Kagome's voice was soft, sobering, when she tugged on his sleeve, "calm yourself. You're only giving the…" a pause, to remind herself that this wasn't just a demonic thing but also her lord's servant, "butler what he wanted."

With a sharp inhale, Vincent ripped to Kagome and gestured at the boy butler, "You cannot possibly be fine with this!" He hadn't intended his voice to be harsh, but those words escaped his lips before he could stop them. He tasted immediate regret when Kagome flinched, her hand dropping from his arm. "Dear girl, I—" Vincent tried, an apology dying on his tongue when she shook her head.

"I'm not." Kagome admitted, her eyes glued on the wooden pole and her nails scratching into it, "You cannot change the demon's cruel nature, you can only bear with it and adapt to suit your needs and desires." Trailing down her hand on the sculpted post, she tilted her head toward the smiling imposter and thinned her lips in disapproval. "This does not mean you are free to do what you wish, butler. You are a servant, not milord's master."

The boy grinned, baring his white teeth, "But of course, missus," With an arm tucked under his chest, he dropped his waist into a bow. It was almost a taunt with the way he was smiling and his eyes glinting with evil glee, "I am but one hell of a butler."

The true intention under those words did not escape the crippled lord.

Vincent's reply was inaudible, so low that Kagome muted her shudder at hearing the simmering rage within his voice, "Know your place." Despite his gawky position from his lame hip, he stood tall and his gaze burned. With the sunlight bathing his back, Vincent cast a long shadow over the boy, washing him in the darkness.

The boy kept his smile when he straightened from his slant. Under the lord's cloaking shadow, his eyes glowed brilliant red. The brightness faded and the cinnamon brown color returned from a blink. "My place," Vincent could feel his nails digging into his palms at the sickly low croon in the boy's voice, "is with you, milord."

Vincent scoffed, "You best remember that, runt." With a scuffle of his good foot, he curled a hand around his songbird's neck and palmed her shoulder, "Are you alright?" He furrowed his brows at Kagome's resigned expression and disregarded the boy's minute scowl.

"Besides finding out the butler's incapabilities to reform himself without visual aids and him being pitiful," Kagome flickered her eyes to the butler and briefly catching his face darkening at her subtle insults. With a slow exhale, she tucked in a stray strand behind her ear. Her hair was still a skewed mess, her lord thought, as his dear girl nodded. "I am…well as can be, all things considered, milord. Thank you for your concerns."

Brushing his fingers under her nape, Vincent crossed his brows at the sad state of her hair. He really should hire a hairdresser for this poor girl. Breathing out, he caught that same confusing fusion of scents of teas and breakfast. "Had you eaten?"

What a pointless distraction, but Vincent desperately needed all reasons not to look at the boy anymore than necessary. His heart hammered at the bottom of his throat, it was filled to the brim with unsettled anger and roaring pain at seeing the unwanted living reminder of his losses. He was furious, his hands aching to throw punches and to grab knives. Any knife would do.

Stab, stab, stab, until blood split and organs spilling from cut-open stom—

With his other hand, Vincent pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed. Leaning into Kagome's warmth, he shook his head at these ugly thoughts. He had to control himself.

Self-control is the pinnacle of being gentlemanly.

He's the Phantomhive.

He had to keep himself in check.

His next breath was long and slow. Steady, with a hiss at the end.

Kagome hesitated before she curled a hand over his shifting elbow. With a soothing petting, she shot her lord a knowing look and affirmed, "Yes, I ate. And," she tugged on him, gesturing with her head for him to return to his bed, "you should too."

In a blink, a near blinding fury filled Vincent. The next, he found himself sagging with exhaustion. Drained and worn out, even though he had just woken up minutes before. Finding no will to argue, Vincent nodded and accepted Kagome's pathetic attempt to lead him back to his bed. "I should." He murmured.

How was he such a mental and emotional mess all at once? Where was the sharp-witted, silver-tongued gentleman he used to be? Turning, turning, turning, Vincent cannot seem to stay on one emotion for long. To stay on one page filled with singular thoughts.

Regrets. Grief. Anger. Resentment. Fear. Regrets. Tiredness.

There was no calmness.

Not yet.

Funny, he did not recall being this…broken when he lost his mother over two decades before. His mind wasn't irrational, his emotions weren't as shattered and indecisive, and his heart didn't twist the same way. It was as if someone drove a knife inside it and left it there to rot. Vincent, for the first time in his entire life, no longer understood himself.

He was grateful that his tears had long since run dry.

Grief was burning itself out.

A small blessing.

Settling himself on the downy mattress, Vincent was reluctant to slip from Kagome's gentle grip. As he dragged his arm from her hand, his sleeve somewhat catching on the coarse fabric wrapped around her palm, Vincent moved to rest his back on his propped pillow. He bit back a hiss when his pelvis thrummed suddenly and snapped his hand around Kagome's delicate wrist to stabilize the ache.

He shook his head at her quiet concern. Slowly pulling his hand off from Kagome's person with a subtle apology when his pelvis quietened, he gestured at the trolley, "Bring it over." Vincent couldn't help but be snarky toward the young butler.

As much as Vincent hated that stolen face, the mischievous expression the little demon wore suited him better than his previous image. It was far more unsettling when the butler wore that kindly old face than the mischievous face that heavily resembled both of his beloved twin sons. Smothering his mouth to keep in a gag, it made the lord feel somewhat ill at realizing this.

Why in the would he want a living reminder of what he had lost?

"Yes, milord." the butler carted the trolley over to his bedside.

A humble assortment of breakfast had already laid out neatly on the bed tray. From the centerpiece of a single melting poached egg topping what looked like salmon fillets on toasted bread, two side plates with one filled with cooked vegetables and the other scones, to a teacup still empty of any liquid. Despite the strange combination of smells with his tea, it looked rather…appetizing.

Vincent quirked a brow, gathering a shiny fork in his hand, and pecked it over the over easy egg, "This is on a tad more simple side than I'm used to from you." Despite his words, there was relief and gratitude in his tone.

His appetite hadn't been the same since…—

He shuddered but promptly forgot the dark thoughts when flavors blossomed across his tastebuds. The butler had been an excellent cook, but this egg on salmon fillets dish was oddly homely that it almost sucker-punched him back to the past. From when he was a small boy and Tanaka was serving him his breakfast for when he was sick with flu and alone in bed. He had little appetite then, so the grandfatherly man sought to make a simple meal packed full of love. What an odd memory to think about, but the flavors reminded him of that time where Vincent genuinely felt loved and cared for.

It was savory, with a hint of sweet and gamy undertone from the fish. The bread it sat on helped boosted the flavor, soaked with the runny yolk, and meshed well with the cheese. He hadn't been aware his servant embedded the cheese between the fillets and egg until he took a bite so it was a pleasant surprise.

It almost brought him to tears.

Gulping down the cheesy aftertaste, Vincent pointed his fork at the boy and accused, "You didn't make this." It was strange at how he could tell the subtle differences. He angled the utensil at Kagome. "You did. Dear girl—!" After he told her to take it easy…!

"All I did was to give the butler the instructions." Kagome interrupted, looking as if she wanted to scrunch up her face, but refrained from doing so and leaned on her crutch. "I noticed that you never…" she brooded over her word choices, "finished your previous meals* as you used to, so I took it upon myself to readjust the meal portion for you." Kagome narrowed her eyes at the boy. "He was very difficult to work with."

"It was against the etiquettes," the butler defended, with an ounce of bitterness in his voice, "for my lord to have such a small meal for breakfast." Vincent nearly wanted to chortle at how offended he looked, but didn't.

Kagome shot a look at Vincent as if she was communicating her disgruntlement to him, See what I have to deal with this morning? Her expression said.

With a brief huff and shifting of her feet to rest a knee, she shook her head, "There are always exceptions. Milord does not have an appetite for such a grand meal in the morning." Kagome continued her argument. "Is it not a waste of food if he cannot finish all of it?"

The butler gave her a considering silence, before he eyed their lord, "If that is what milord's wishes." He awaited his answer.

Vincent hadn't stopped eating the dish, somewhat entertained by Kagome and the boy's exchanges, when his fork hit the plate with a clang. To his disappointment, it was gone save for some residues. Clearing his throat, Vincent nodded his head, "Dear girl knows me well, she'd be the person to listen to regarding my welfare. You may not always agree with her, but do at least take her advice into accounts."

In short, shut up and listen to whatever she says.

Sighing, the butler dropped into a slight bow and nodded, "Yes, milord, as you wish."

There was a sense of accomplishment from Kagome that almost made Vincent roll his eyes and fight an urge to smile. As his fork moved on to the roasted vegetables next, Kagome shifted over and removed the empty plate from the tray to the trolley. There was a comfortable silence between the two and the small butler remained where he was, observing their nearness.

Their comforting relationship, was beyond the butler's understanding.

Without a direct prompting, Kagome plucked a scone while her lord was finishing up his side and tore it in halves. Taking an untouched knife from underneath Vincent's wrist, Kagome curved out a thin slice of butter and smothered the butter on the fluffy texture, "I must ask, what are we to do about Mr. Tanaka's identity?"

Vincent hummed, understanding her worries, "regarding him," he wrinkled his nose at the smiling boy butler, "having two identities?"

Dabbling the knife into a dark-colored container from one corner of Vincent's tray, she nodded, "It would be too suspicious if Mr. Tanaka disappeared and his newest replacement is too young," Kagome started, sliding the silver utensil across a scone for her awaiting lord. Smearing a tiny helping of jam, she continued, "wouldn't it be logical if the butler is playing as Mr. Tanaka's apprentice?"

Vincent accepted the scone and mumbled his agreement. "He'd be the under butler then. The runt is not too terribly young." Nibbling on the sweet good, he wondered aloud. "It would not be too farfetched for Tanaka to…" Vincent grimaced, recalling the memory of the jolly grandfatherly figure who all but raised him. It was difficult to forget that Tanaka was the closest thing he had as a father when his own was absent from his childhood. "Fall ill. He'd be bedridden, so no one would ask questions if his junior took over most of his duties."

To replace Tanaka with a demon was an insult. He could see that now, but he was in no state to even think back then where it all started. All he could think of were his family and the urge to hide behind the old butler as he used to as a child. Vincent long since grew out of that whim, but…at that moment, he missed the fatherly safety Tanaka would've offered him.

Now, whenever he thought of Tanaka, the real Tanaka, all he could think of were regrets and untold apologies for his failures as the lord and master.

Kagome hummed, carrying Vincent out of his repetitive thoughts. "That idea is sound. Question is," her voice dropped an octave, soured at the very mention of the boy. "if the butler can juggle between two roles at once." The said boy smiled, keeping his position at the foot of their lord's bed and his hands behind his back, while she breezed on, "There will be times where Mr. Tanaka would have to make his appearances, to keep up the charade."

"Can you?" Vincent eyed the boy.

Filled with glittering confidence, the boy lined an arm over his chest and boasted, "Yes, have faith that I will perform my duties flawlessly, milord!"

Vincent humphed, chewing on a bite of his breakfast, "We'll see." Catching the sound of Kagome's pouring hot tea into his dainty cup, he glanced over to her busying hands. His nose wrinkled at the noisome odor, "That is…"

"Foul." Kagome finished. She handed the filled cup over to her lord's, "Would you like to have it?"

"Augh," Vincent nearly gagged, the smell offensive. How in the fine Hell did the boy make tea to stink to the high heaven? Did he use sewer water to make this monstrosity? "no. Keep that brown water away from me."

The boy furrowed his brows, both confused and offended all at once. "What is wrong with the tea? I followed the instruction to the letter." To imagine that they threw his efforts back in his face…!

Kagome removed the teacup and tucked it away on the trolley. "You've used hard water for it and you didn't boil it properly beforehand either." She said blandly, replacing the cup with another clean one she had been thoughtful enough to wrestle with the butler over on adding.

Finally noticing that there had been another pitcher, Vincent ate the last of his scone. It was a long-necked one and made with porcelain. Ill-suited for hot liquid. As Kagome tipped it over the cup, thick whiteness poured out from it and he recognized what it was, "Ah, milk?"

"Sweet milk. Not a good match for the breakfast, I'm afraid," she apologized as she placed the cup in her lord's awaiting hand, "but that was the best compromise the butler would've permitted me, in short of over-extending myself." The last few words ended in a grumbling trail from Kagome's lips. "Otherwise, I would've made you a proper cup of tea myself."

"Don't push yourself." Vincent eyed his dear girl, sipping his fresh drink. It wasn't a bad addition to his meal, and it smelled better than that abomination of tea. "But next time, when you are able," he stressed on Kagome's recovery, "please take over the tea brewing." He twisted his nose at the plain-faced boy, "I cannot trust you to improve on something as simple as this."

The boy nearly let out a scowl, but kept his expression thin. "I served you the same tea before, milord," his voice betrayed his annoyance, "why haven't I received this feedback earlier?"

Vincent tightened his grip on his cup. "I couldn't bring myself to care what I was served previously." He cared only enough to keep his stomach full, not the taste or any flavor. It was only then that Kagome noticed and took charges to adjust to what he truly needed.

It would be wrong not to taste her efforts.

"Very well, if that's what you wished," the butler sat his hands behind his back and lightened his face to a neutral expression, "milord."

He watched as Vincent finished his drink and ate his last scone.

When the lord shared an exchange of words with the missus, the butler pondered and a thought came to him. He waited until they finished and Kagome gathered the last of the breakfast set from the remaining bed desk. The butler parted his lips, when Kagome handed Vincent his morning newspaper, and clicked his teeth shut.

He waited until his lord lost interest in the papers, remarking on a specific topic. It was regarding some dead bodies found in an alley in the underbelly of London. Vincent simply tutted and murmured some insults toward the Scotland Yard's poor police work for not finding the one responsible so quickly. He rolled up the papers and returned them to Kagome.

That was the break the butler needed.

"I beg your pardon," the boy had Vincent setting his jaws with pure annoyance, "but I felt I would need a new name, no? I do not think it is wise to have two 'Tanaka's' in the same household." He reminded, his new face falsely serene.

He stood there patiently, as if he were a pet dog waiting for a command.

Vincent's lips drew thin. "…I'll have to think on it." As much as he wanted to name this brat an insulting name, he knew better. The last thing he needed was to have the Phantomhive being famous for having a servant with an offensive word as their name.

Still, he wanted to open a sore spot and leave his knife there somehow.

A gentle touch on his arm, light as air, but he knew its warmth well. Vincent glanced up at Kagome, and she removed her hand from his person once she had his attention. "May I have your permission to give the butler a name? I promise," she cleared her throat, "it will be an appropriate one."

"Hmm," Vincent leaned back into his pillows and took several seconds to consider his answer. He nodded then, "permission is granted."

She knew what he wanted.

"From this day forward, you," Kagome's gaze was cold, calculating, while the boy maintained an air of faux innocence, his smile warm, "will be known as Sebastian."

Vincent inhaled sharply. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he choked on air and tried to stifle the bubbling laughter. That name…! Coarse coughs split from his throat and he absently wondered how ridiculous he must've sounded.

"Oh?" Sebastian blinked, confused by their lord's sudden reaction. "Is that name from a noteworthy individual, perhaps?"

Patting on her master's heaving back, Kagome returned a reply, "Yes, you are named after the family's most loyal pet dog." Sebastian gave a visible eye twitch when the truth dawned on him, "He was a Borzoi, a lovely male with fur the exact same color of your hair. A bit…dim, perhaps, and rather clumsy." the butler lost his smile and there was a concealed fury in his gaze. Kagome carried on, almost too gleefully to match her deadpanned eyes, "but he was well trained for his breed."

Vincent thought he might have been dying then, coughing on every crackle that slipped through his mouth.

Sebastian's smile was sharp, razor-sharp with immense promises to return with his revenge. "Ah, I see. Well," he bowed with utter gratitude of being given with such a wonderful name, "I am…grateful for the new name, milord and missus. That would be," he straightened his position and knocked his heels together, "all of my inquiries." Through his smiling eyes, there were also untold threats toward both the choking Vincent and the calm-faced Kagome. "Would that be all, milord? I will return momentarily to help dress you."

Inhaling a deep breath, Vincent regained control of himself. He cleared his throat and shifted his arms so Kagome could remove the bed tray from his lap. "Yes, yes, you may go." He tasted some embarrassment for losing his manners at the butler's (if not well deserved) expense, but he didn't regret it a single bit.

When the tray was fitted under the silver trolley, Sebastian took the handle, and with a tilt of his head, he pardoned himself from the master bedroom. As the door fell shut behind, Vincent lost it. He choked on another round of laughter. His entire body shook with his failed attempt to conceal the sick amusement he found at watching Sebastian's face darkening with humiliation.

"M, my dear girl," Vincent gagged on a breath and palmed his face, trying to control the wheezing from his lungs, "why, why would you name him that?"

Kagome made a slight show of shrugging her shoulders. "Because he truly is the son of a bitch?" Her voice lightened, as if she was pleased with lightening her lord's mood, "Am I wrong?"

"Not at all." He snickered.

He felt far better than he had before in weeks.

1* from what I researched, Victorian nobles tend to have a massive meal in the morning, a small meal in the afternoon, and another decently sized meal in the evening. I could be wrong on this one, but understandably, Vincent hadn't had much appetite to eat all of that and probably even dreaded the mealtimes. Kagome obviously understood and opted to find smaller alternatives for him.

a/n: some of the manga readers may forget that in canon, Sebastian originally didn't have a (human) name upon meeting our!Ciel. Out of unknown reasons (though I swear, spite is one of them), o!Ciel named Sebastian after the family's pet dog lol so I obviously wanted to carry that over in this fic, for the funny factor alone.

in all honesty, I've been debating on whether or not if I want to spoil Sebastian's identity early on, but given my history playing character guessing games with my readers, I don't trust that I would be able to pull it off. Besides, I've already decided that I'm going to have a "younger" member of our trios for the contrast between adults and a 'child' (more like a teenager but still). Considering the fact I'm very sure that canon!Sebastian being identical to Vincent's appearance was actually done on purpose (but was never confirmed by Yana herself), so I think it would make sense that the demon would take form of someone Vincent cherished and believed to be dead, which happened to be Tanaka (his father figure) and his twin sons respectively.

Also, Sebastian might've taken Kagome's criticisms a bit too seriously...and I need to break up the angsty ride with some humor.

...i should work on my pacing. sighs. As always, lmk your thoughts by reviewing and thank you for reading~!