Hey Careese and POI lovers. Hope you enjoy this one shot that's been stewing in my brain. Takes place after the crossing, with Joss surviving of course.

"You okay?" John asked after another three steps had been slowly and painfully climbed.

Joss was panting, her fragile heart thumping loudly. Her lungs greedily soaking in air. Placing a hand on the cool railing, she steadied herself

"I'm fine," she managed to say.

Standing close to her side, John assessed her. Refusing to lift one foot to take another step without her.

"Sorry… I just need a minute." She blinked before glancing up. Ten more steps before they reached the roof. If she took them three at a time…

"Don't push yourself too hard Joss," John said softly, knowing her thoughts.

Joss squeezed her eyes shut. Unable to look at him. She hated being this weak. Hated that he, New York's best kept security secret, had to waste time helping her climb a few stairs.

"Joss," his soothing voice called to her. His tone telling her she had nothing to be ashamed of. "If you need to stop, tell me. It's okay."

Tightening her grip on the railing, she bit her lip. Slowly she lifted her foot, determined to climb higher. But the fire that ignited in her chest, had her lowering her foot again. She sighed. "Yes, I'm done."

She heard him move, before she found herself hefted into his arms. Her own finding their familiar position around his shoulders.

Joss pursed her lips as she watched-somewhat bitterly- John easily climb the remaining steps.

They reached the rooftop, where the fire in the firepit was raging and the sun was just beginning to set. Joss's lingering thoughts however cast a shadow on the beauty of the evening. To Joss's dismay, when he sat, John didn't put distance between them so she couldn't wallow in her misery. When he sat on the outdoor sectional, he took her with him. Leaving her encased in his arms, cuddled against his chest. And he knew after the climb, she was too weak to fight her way out of his hold and onto her own cushion.

Trying to ignore her wounded pride, she got comfortable on his lap. Resting against his shoulder and admired the view. Her fingers playing with the sleeve of his black shirt. The burning in her chest eased, her breathing evened out and she relaxed.

She slid her gaze upward, to peer at John, amazed at how different he'd been lately. He'd been…more laid back and relaxed. Still very overprotective, but also very… non vigilant. His hair wasn't always stiffly jelled down. He had started growing out a short beard that gave his already handsome face a nice change. His smile, despite the worried and concerned look he more recently carried, came easier. And he wore no suits. Not. A. One.

So much for being the Man in the Suit. Joss thought with a small smile.

John's chin lowered and his facial hair brushed against her temple. "Are you feeling okay?"

She nodded.

"You need anything?"

A head shake served as her answer. He was quiet for a moment then Joss felt his fingers run lightly through her hair. "I know it doesn't feel like it, but you're making progress Joss. You are. It just…takes time. These things take time."

And just like that, the wound near her heart was savagely reopened. All her fears and dark thoughts rushed to the surface, fighting for dominion.

"It won't be like it was John," she bit out while trying to sit up so that she was no longer leaning against him. "I may never be that woman again. Look at me, struggling to get up a few stairs." She shimmied off his lap and onto the empty cushion next to him. However his grip on her waist didn't allow her to go any further. "There's no point in lying to yourself or giving false hope. I appreciate you being here for me, but we don't know how long this recovery will take. You should be getting back to your work with Finch."

"No. My work is here," he stated quietly but firmly.

Joss found his eyes. "For how long? Another month maybe. But what if it takes longer than that? Six months? A year? What if I never get well enough to wear a badge again?"

John's chest tightened at the fear and tears that appeared in her eyes as she voiced her greatest fear.

"You know what that means?" she continued, keeping the tears from falling. "No more calling me for back up. No more fighting at your side. No more girl after my own heart. It'll be over. I may never be that woman again. You expect me to believe you'll stay around and take care of what's left of me?"

His gaze never wavered. "If it comes to that then yes."

Joss scoffed. "You don't know what you're saying-"

"Yes I do." John tugged her wrist, trying to get her to face him, but she fought against him. "Joss listen to me."

Still she resisted. Sighing John shifted, forcing her against the sectional. His upper body, pinning her against it. Joss found herself again too weary to fight his strength. Especially in this position. She groaned disgusted once more with her new and ever-present weakness.

Framing her face, John waited until her angry and hurt eyes found his. "I can't leave. You have to see it Joss. That night changed everything. I almost los-" He stopped abruptly as the unexpected emotion lunged at him. As the memory of her face, with death's shadow hovering over her flooded his mind. He swallowed. Twice. Before he dared to speak again.

"That night, I realized nothing else mattered outside of you. You… you are the reason behind my why. So if you need me, with you is where I'll be. Finch has Shaw and Fusco. He'll be fine. But I have to be with you.

"Joss, I want you, not your badge. Do you hear me?" He searched her eyes, willing her to understand. His voice soft, but full of conviction. "You are still Jocelyn Carter. And I still want Jocelyn Carter. Whether she's a cop trying to do everything on her own, or just a woman, who's a little broken right now."

The tears were impossible to hold back now. "John," Joss whispered brokenly as they fell.

John leaned in bringing his mouth to hers. His kiss deliberately slow as he worked to reassure that she would never be alone again. Joss's heart melted at the tenderness of his touch. The gentle love he showed her left her breathless.

Being ever cautious of her, he pulled back leaving the slightest space between them. Allowing Joss to catch her breath and not overwork her heart, before he closed the distance and took her lips again. With the same tenderness as before. Her heart began to beat with renewed hope for the future.

John's touch made her feel alive, truly alive, for the first time since the night Simmons's bullet had broken her flesh. And for the first time, she felt assured that John could still love her and look at her the way only he could. The way he always had. Assured that despite all she had lost, she was still Jocelyn Carter.

John broke the kiss only to kiss away the drops that fell from her eyes. Lifting her, he pulled her back onto his lap. Tucking her beneath his chin. Joss snuggled against his chest. They were silent for a while before a thought occurred and she felt compelled to speak.

"John, thank y-"

"Don't you dare thank me Joss," he warned kissing her temple. "Don't you dare thank me. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

He held her tighter as Joss smiled. They grew quiet admiring the sun set and watching the moon take its place as the light in the sky. Neither certain of the future, but both content that they would not have to face it alone.