CHAPTER FIFTY
(JPOV)
It had been three days since the battle and still Bella remained in what Sue described as some kind of Coma. Sue was quick to explain it better, using the term, 'Locked in Syndrom', as she tried to spell it out more plainly for me, and while I physically heard her words, my eyes were trained to the paling sight of Bella's peaceful face, her too still frame, and her lack of response to anything going on around her, swiftly causing a panic to set in for me.
I was barely clinging to sanity with my fingertips as the many hours passed on.
I stood feeling numb as the memories of the prior events clouded my thoughts and filled me with regret. The slight chill in the morning air hinted of a changing season soon to come. Fall was fast approaching. Bella's new favorite time of the year was just around the corner. She used to hate the cold, but living the time she had in Maine had somehow given her a new appreciation for the beauty that came with the change of seasons. She loved the many colors of the leaves of Fall and was always eager for the first snow to arrive. When I asked her what changed her mind about the cold weather, she informed me that it had more to do with me being able to keep her warm than her time in Maine. This always made me smile, but this morning, I couldn't find the peace of mind long enough to savor that memory of her admission with the same kind of joy I used to have over it.
Steam rose from the cup held firmly in Gentry's hand as he offered me a mug of Sue's coffee on the front porch.
"You haven't eaten in days man." He pointed out, motioning swiftly to the mug. "At least drink this. Better than nothing. You can't run on empty much longer."
My stomach churned at just the smell of it, but I took the piping cup from him anyway with a firm swallow.
"Couldn't stomach food if I wanted to."
"You gotta' keep your strength up for her-" Gentry countered. "You know I'm right."
I nodded once and drew the mug up to my lips for a sip, despite the protest from my stomach.
We were silent there together for a long moment, neither of us knowing what to say as the hands of time steadily ticked on. The forest ahead was covered with the early morning dew of the dawn and Gentry took notice of the chill when he spoke again.
"Seasons are set to be changing again. You can feel it in the air already. Must mean were in for a long Fall and Winter."
"Yeah, most likely." I solemnly agreed.
Gentry turned my way and drew in a deep breath with his reply then.
"She's gonna' wake up, bro. She will. Her body just needs more time to heal. You heard what Sue said last night. Trust that she knows what she's doing."
"I do trust Sue. That's not the issue. I should've gotten to her sooner, Gentry." I ground out, ignoring the fire in my chest and the stinging that clouded my vision with this.
"You can't think like that- you did all you could. We barely made it out of that battle intact. Bella knew the odds were not in our favor and she knew you'd come for her. I really believe that's why she held on for as long as she did, Jake."
"...- I tried. We were covered two fold. They were everywhere and with them having control of the elements, it left us separated. I've never felt so helpless in my life. I hate that feeling." I admitted.
"You came through for her, man. You did. When she needed you most, you were there. That counts. Don't convince yourself that it doesn't."
"What she went through- before I could get to her-... it makes me sick to think about it."
"She's surely a fighter." Gentry sighed. "No doubt about that."
"She is." I readily agreed. "Always has been."
"She knows you're here with her. I believe that too. Sue said as much."
"She's not responding to me, Gentry. I've tried to get her to open her eyes every day and still nothing. What if there's damage beyond repair? I keep going over my choice to bring her here to Sue's, and I'm starting to second guess myself with every freaking hour that passes with her like that."
"What else would you have done? There was no other option. The hospital was further and there's no way you would've been able to explain what had happened to her. Not even an animal attack would have covered it. There would have been suspicion, on all accounts. They would've known upon examining her that whatever story we twisted didn't match up. That seriously could've opened up a world of problems for the two of you. No man, what you did was the best for her. You made the right call in bringing her here."
I couldn't even bring myself to nod in agreement with him, because the sinking feeling in my gut was beginning to tell me otherwise. That despite the risk, I should have taken her to the hospital.
"Sue said she can hear me, but she can't respond or react to me. I can't even imagine how terrifying that must feel for her right now." I hoarsely admitted.
"You've been sitting with her for hours, barely left her side. I guarantee she's taking comfort in that and she can hear the kids voices. She knows her family is here with her and for now, that'll have to be enough to pull her out of whatever state she's in. The body handles trauma in crazy ways. You know that."
"I wish she healed like we do. I'd trade places with her if I could-..." I paused then, hearing the running footsteps headed our way as the front door opened and Clarissa came out with the twins.
"Daddy! Uncle Gentry! We're making muffins for breakfast with Sue! Better come in soon or you'll miss out. Brenner and Paul might eat them all on us!" She laughed, her lighthearted nature bringing the first real hint of a returning grin to my face.
"You tell Brenner I get dibs on the chocolate chip ones." Gentry teased her back as she joined us there and hugged me.
"I will, Uncle Gentry. Are you coming in too, Daddy? There's going to be enough for everyone!" She asked, her wide and hopeful eyes peering up into mine with an innocence I prayed she held onto despite what she'd seen and been through already.
"Yeah, honey. I'll be right in."
"Grandpa Billy is coming over today too! We should save some for him." She noted with another smile, before turning to head back for the house with Mason and Madison following eagerly behind her.
"Dad's been reluctant to come over. It's good he's coming today." Gentry admitted.
"He doesn't want to see her like that. Not too mention, it complicates things with Charlie. Dad doesn't like covering all the time. Can't say that I blame him."
"I get it. For sure."
"I can't take this for another three days, Gentry. I'm barely keeping it together for the kids sake." I gruffly stated.
"I know. Have faith. Bella wouldn't want it any other way."
With that final word, we headed back inside, the aroma of muffins baking in the oven was more than enough to draw Gentry into the kitchen, but it made me steer clear of it. I forced another smile to the kids, before going back to Bella's bedside in Sue's guest room. I sat with her there, silently watching the steady rise and fall of her chest as she continued to rest. After breakfast was done cooking, Clarissa wondered in with a plateful of muffins and a tall glass of milk in her hands.
"Daddy, I saved you three. Here you go." She whispered to me, placing a kiss to my cheek before sitting in my lap with the plate.
"Thank you. I'm afraid I don't have much of an appetite this morning though." I kindly told her. "But I appreciate you thinking of me."
Clarissa nodded and sighed as she looked toward Bella, her face falling some when she stood from my lap and cautiously climbed onto the bed with her there. She laid her head down on Bella's shoulder, mindlessly playing with her long mahogany locks while she spoke to her.
"Mama, it's time to wake up now. I know you need your rest but we miss you and daddy needs you. We all do."
I watched as she kissed her cheek and nestled her face in closer to Bella's with a contented gaze my way.
"Mama loves you very much, Clarissa. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I do. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to protect her better."
Her tearful admission made my collected composure slip and I shook my head in response.
"No...-Clarissa...- you did more for your mama and the twins than you could ever know. You were brave and strong. I'm so proud of you."
She wiped away a stray tear and whispered, 'I love you, mama", before returning to my side.
"You were brave and strong, too. I get it from you, daddy."
She wrapped her petite arms around my neck with this and I held her tight as my fathers voice filled the room.
"Jake...-"
Clarissa released me and threw herself into Billy's awaiting arms with a half cry.
"Grandpa Billy!"
He scooped her up with clear relief written on his tired face.
"Oh, I'm so glad to see you, sweet girl."
"I missed you too, Grandpa!" She happily told him. "We made muffins!"
"I see that! They do look delicious! Say, would you mind fixing old Grandpa here a plate? I'll be right out to try one real soon, okay?"
Clarissa beamed at this and went along her way toward the kitchen without hesitation. When she was out of sight, my father swung the door closed and peered up at me.
"Jake, are you alright? Sue didn't give me a lot of the details. Just what was needed. She did say it was close for all of you."
"Too close." I agreed, my throat growing tight with my words to him. "They were everywhere. Like a flood."
Billy wheeled himself closer to Bella and reached out to take her small hand in his.
"Any change with her this morning?"
"No."
"From what I gathered from Sue, she's been through something horrific. Her body needs this time to properly heal from the trauma."
"I wish I held that same confidence, dad."
"Why don't you?" He asked.
"-because I'm afraid that I got to her too late and we're just making things worse by waiting."
"Sue seemed confident in her healing, despite this state she is in. People wake up from short term Coma's all the time."
"Yes, in a hospital. With a team of doctors and nurses and medical equipment that can monitor their progress. Not like this." I hedged.
"Too many risks, and too many unanswered questions to go that route-" He argued.
"I don't care about the risks anymore, dad! I want her to get the care she needs and that might be more than Sue can provide right now. She nearly-"
I stopped short, my unsteady voice now cracking while I half choked on the word that wouldn't leave my mouth, as the memories of her broken body filled my head from when I pulled her from that river.
Billy grabbed my hand at this, his face stern but his voice soft when he replied.
"Son, I know you want her to get the best care, and I'm telling you that it's here with Sue. With her family surrounding her while she recovers. It will be okay, Jacob. It will be."
I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat as I held my fathers gaze. In that moment, it occurred to me once again, that no matter my age, or that I now had a family of my own, I would never stop needing my dad. He was the anchor in life's troubling storms and I was grateful to him for his words of hope and wisdom right now.
"Alright...-" I sighed, "I pray that you're right, dad. I really do."
Billy leaned back in his chair then and glanced briefly over at Bella.
"I am praying so, too." He stated. "Did I ever tell you about the time you caught the croup?"
"No-..." I huffed in confusion, wondering where he was going with this train of memory at a time like this.
"Well, you sure did catch it. You were about four at the time. Given your age, I didn't think it was croup at all, but your mother argued with me for days that she knew just what it was without needing to go to the clinic with you. I told her to take you in to be seen, but it was real cold then. Dead of Winter in January. You were coughing and had a good fever going for the better part of a week. Money was tight then as it always was and your mama, boy she knew all the home holistic tricks to be had. From Elderberry to herbs for fever relief and the steam of a warm bath to help clear your lungs a little, she did it all with you for days. Walked the floors with you at night to keep you comfortable and elevated. She wrapped you in a blanket and rocked you, she'd sing to you and read stories too. After day five came and went, your fever finally broke and your cough got better. Your appetite returned that night and your mama made you her famous home made chicken noodle soup."
His recollection of this made me pause as some of the memory, as spotty as it was, came back to me.
"I do remember that, some of it. I remember her singing and the soup." I told him.
"Yeah, that was your moms way of caring. Through her tenderness and her cooking." He chuckled. "But the moral point of that little trip down memory lane is that while hospitals, doctors and all the many advancements in medicine are often required today, sometimes it's also just as needed to go back to decades prior of home care. That's what Sue specializes in and she is darn good at it, too. If she felt Bella wasn't healing the way she should, rest assured that she would undoubtedly be the first person to tell you to take her to the hospital. She'd drive her there herself, consequences or not."
I mulled this over a few times before meeting his knowing stare and nodding in agreement.
"I'm sorry, dad. I'm just rattled."
"As you should be. A lot has happened in just a few days. Speaking of which, I stopped by the house and helped Sam assess the damage from the fire. Good news is, it's not a total loss as once thought. I think you can rebuild enough before snow hits this Winter, and in the mean time, you and Bella and the kids can come live with me for a while. Just until the house is deemed livable again."
"That could take weeks." I admitted.
"Then weeks it is." He countered.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Gentry has been staying comfortably with Leah for a while now anyway, so might do me some good to have the house not so quiet at night."
"I'll owe you, dad." I told him in return.
"You'll do nothing of the sort. You're my boy. It's what family does."
"I love you, dad."
"I love you, too." He replied, retaking Bella's hand with his final thought. "...and everything's gonna be alright. Just you wait and see."
Sue entered the room with us then, her apron still covered in flour as she paused just inside the door with a small square black device in her hands.
"An old colleague of mine dropped this off." Sue explained, observing our curious gazes while she retrieved her cell phone from her back pocket.
"What is it?"
"This here is a Linear Probe Ultrasound. It's a handheld echo machine. Think of it like a mini ultrasound. I wanna check and be sure that the laceration on Bella's abdomen is healing the way it should down to the tissue level under the skin's surface and I need this little gadget to do it."
I stared at her in disbelief that all the technology needed for an image like that could be held in her hands no less.
"Will that really work?" I questioned, while she turned it on and attached it to her smartphone in two easy steps.
"Truth is, I've never actually had the chance to use one of these before. It's very new so, we're about to find out if it does what it claims." Sue admitted to me.
I stepped back, and Billy joined me there, giving her the room she needed to test the device on Bella. Sue carefully lifted the cotton shirt she'd covered Bella in three days ago and checked the dressings, before turning her attention to the ultrasound. My eyes went to the screen of her cell phone, but I couldn't decipher anything as she moved the probe around.
"Sue?" I hedged, noting the worry that crossed her face as she read on the screen what I couldn't. "What? Is it not working?"
"No, it's working. Very well actually."
"What do you see? Is she healing? Can you tell?"
Sue beckoned me forward with a wave of her free hand and I moved closer, my eyes training on the screen of her phone as I stilled beside her.
"She is. The wound is healing well. Even though it's only been a few days, I can already tell the body is doing what it should."
I sighed a breath of relief and looked to my father as an unexpected sound filled the room.
I froze where I was and heard the gasp of shock come from Sue as she steadied her hand and looked more closely at the screen.
In an instant, my breath caught as I grew utterly still there, listening to a sound I knew well. A sound that had more recently been associated with nothing but heartbreak and loss.
Billy huffed out a ragged breath of his own in disbelief as he looked my way and waited for Sue to say something, but I didn't need to hear the words that left her then, because the unmistakable sound now filling the room told me all I needed.
There it was, strong and fast and steady. Like a rushing current that had no end. Time stopped and my own heart felt as if it would burst from the sound.
"Jake...-" Sue whispered. "Bella's pregnant."
A/N: Hello my readers! I hope you are all truly well and that you enjoy this update today! Please leave a review with your thoughts and have a great weekend!