CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
(JPOV)
It wasn't until after the midnight hour before Bella had calmed down enough to sleep. Gentry had taken the kids home with him hours prior and when I was sure Bella was comfortably resting, I left her room and met Sue in the hall.
"Is she finally asleep? Does she seem to be hurting?"
"Yes she's sleeping and no she seemed to be comfortable.I'll check on her in a bit." I sighed, rubbing my tired eyes.
"I know this was so unexpected. I think what we're dealing with here is a case of Retrograde Amnesia. The good news is that it's not permanent, and more than likely, it will fade with time and more rest for her."
"How sure are you that it's not permanent, Sue?" I hesitantly asked her in return.
"Fairly certain is the only answer I have for you, and I know that's not nearly good enough of one. I'm sorry, Jake. This could be the result of a concussion or the trauma alone. I can't be certain of which yet. She would need more testing for that and I don't have the needed equipment for that here."
My chest grew tight with her words and I felt the pressure start to take it's hold on me.
"We've been through so much already. This can't be permanent. It just can't be. She looks at me with the eyes of a stranger."
Sue's head fell further at this and she embraced me then.
"I know and I am believing that her memories will come back to her."
I hugged her in return and tried not to think of the worse case scenario.
"How long can it last?"
Sue released me and tried to give an honest answer the best she could.
"I've seen cases like this last for only hours and I've seen other instances where it's lasted for days or a few weeks. Retrograde can be a result of recent trauma, and given all she's been through, I would say that's a more likely cause really."
"What can I do?" I asked, my voice tight with concern and sheer exhaustion.
"Be there for her. Remind her of who she is with the normalcy of her routines and get some rest yourself, before you collapse. You're no help to her if you can't stay on your feet. You're utterly exhausted, Jacob. Go lay down with one of the blankets in the living room and try to sleep. I'll keep watch over her while you rest, and if anything should happen, I'll come get you."
I nodded and stumbled forward out into the living room, my eyes already half closing as I sunk down on the sofa and stared into the small fire Sue had built hours ago.
I was out within minutes and didn't come to again until I felt the couch dip under new weight at the end.
With hazy eyes, I peered down to see Brenner now sitting there.
"Sorry, did I wake you, Uncle Jake? Didn't mean to."
"It's alright, Bud. No worries."
I sat up and did a double take at the sight of Bella hobbling out of the guest room on crutches with Sue at her side.
"Look who woke up early, too?" Sue smiled. "Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat. Anything you like."
Bella nodded and looked my way, her eyes still appearing dazed in confusion as she studied my face briefly and then refocused her attention on her balance.
She was unsteady and I stood when I noticed her struggling to make it to the table. She nearly lost her footing when she tried to keep going, her strength still weak and her frustration evident when one of the crutches fell.
Sue caught it and tried to help her but Bella froze where she was in defeat.
"I can't do this." Bella huffed, with tears welling as she stared ahead.
"You're almost there." I softly encouraged her, my tone as easy and gentle as I could manage.
She turned her head toward me and met my gaze long enough to give her the courage she needed to keep trying.
Sue handed her the crutch again, and she tucked it under her arm with a sigh of determination. She tried to move again and wobbled a bit, but her balance was notably better this time around.
She made it to the table and I hovered behind her, keeping enough distance not to crowd her while still being close enough to catch her in case she fell. Sue pulled out a chair for her and Bella hesitated before trying to sit.
The trip from the guestroom to the small kitchen had worn her out.
"Can you help me?" She asked, reaching behind her for my hand. Those four words gave me more hope than I had felt in days now, because it told me that somewhere in her mind, she recalled enough to know she could trust me to help her.
"Of course." I replied, taking swift hold of her offered hand and carefully helping her down into the chair.
"Thank you."
I placed her crutches nearby and joined her there at the table, noticing the way her face held more color this morning. My heart warmed to see this.
Bella looked around and watched Sue, as she busied herself with making some eggs and toast for her.
"Think you can stomach some orange juice, too?" Sue offered.
"Yes, I think so."
"Good."
The question that came next from her was hard for me to answer.
"How long have we been married?" Bella asked, while idly spinning her wedding band around her finger.
"Six years. Almost Seven."
"...-and we live nearby?"
I kept my answers simple to her for now, not wanting to add anymore to the confusion she was already dealing with.
"Yes."
"...and the children that were here before, those are our kids?" She continued.
"Yes they are."
"What are their names?"
"Mason, Madison and Clarissa."
She nodded again as Sue set the glass of orange juice in front of her.
Brenner stood off to the side, not wanting to interfere, his nervous stance soon catching Bella's attention.
"...-and what's your name?" She implored.
"Brenner." He told her.
Bella paused at this, and studied his features a moment longer, as if trying to recall any kind of memory with him at all.
"That name sounds the most familiar. I'm sorry- I- I can't remember the rest."
"It's okay. With time, you will." I encouraged her, trying to find the will to smile but the well intended act died out long before it even touched my lips.
"I hope so."
Bella ate the breakfast Sue made her and when she was finished she thanked her. Sue only smiled and cleared the table with a look my way, bringing back the memory of our conversation last night.
She needed normalcy of routine right now and I myself had none of the sort to offer her. With the ruins of the house, I couldn't even take her home, the place I knew she would be most familiar and comfortable with. So, I chose the only second best option we had. To revert to an old past time from when we were mere teenagers and life was far less complicated.
I helped her into the living room and settled her on the couch with a blanket before rifling through Sue's movie collection to find something we'd seen together at some point. To my bad luck, there was nothing familiar. I almost gave up until a classic caught my eye. I sighed in relief at the find and heard Bella call out from behind me.
"Can't spot anything good to watch?" She mused, her tone lighter than before.
"I almost struck out but I found something."
I grabbed the only one I thought she'd take interest in and handed it to her. She peered down at the cover and read the details with a shrug.
"Doesn't look half bad."
"It's a chic flick."
"Do I normally watch these kinds of movies?" She asked, nervously biting down on her bottom lip.
"Yes, but it's been a while since we had time to watch any movies." I admitted.
"Let's watch it." Bella sighed, draping the heavy blanket over her lap. "Does Sue have popcorn and napkins? Cause I always wipe the butter-"
"...-on your jeans." I finished for her, before I could think better of it.
"Yeah." Bella agreed, and for the first time, I saw the start of a grin touch her face. "But I guess you would know that."
"I'll be right back with some popcorn and napkins." I told her, swiftly heading for Sue's pantry.
She eyed me curiously and then pointed to where she kept the box, her knowing grin evident when she handed me a bunch of napkins.
"You heard us?"
"I did and I think this is just the kind of normalcy she needs right now." Sue added. "If anyone can jog her memory, it's you."
"I'll do everything I can. Whatever she needs. I'll do it."
"I know you will and believe it or not, I think she can already sense that, too."
I soon handed Bella the full bowl of popcorn and napkins, and she grabbed a handful before gesturing for me to sit next to her.
"You know I can eat a whole bag of this myself, right?" She admitted. "Might want to pop an extra one for you!"
"Good thing Sue has six more bags out there, huh?"
"Guess so." She chuckled, and the sound of it was beautiful for me to hear.
I pressed play and watched as her face lit up with the beginning scenes of a movie I had seen with her four times already at our house, but I didn't care, I'd watch it a dozen more times with her if it meant there was a chance it could bring something back for her... anything.
Bella held the bowl out to me, her guilty expression enough to make me chuckle as she pointed out that it was already half gone. Her appetite was certainly back and I couldn't have been happier about that.
Everything in the movie seemed new to her, but somehow, she still enjoyed escaping reality with me for a few hours. When the end scene finally arrived, Bella took the remote from my hand and paused it, her tears now spilling down her ivory cheeks as we neared the final credits. I handed her the last of the many napkins as she peered up at me.
"We have a love like that, don't we?"
"Yes, we do." I whispered, unable to keep the emotion from my voice.
"I can feel it. I know it's there."
She rested her head on my shoulder then with a slight shiver from the chill now settling into Sue's house. I timidly reached for her hand, afraid she'd pull away and was moved to tears of relief when she didn't.
"It will always be there." I vowed to her, as her petite fingers slid effortlessly through mine.
"I'm scared I won't remember. That everything will be as blank as it is right now. What happens then?"
"I'll be here to remind you until you remember, Bells. Just like in this movie."
I knew when I said it, that I meant it. For the rest of my life. I'd be here with her and for her.
Our love was a gravity that had no escape.
A/N: Hello my readers! I pray you all are blessed and healthy. We're coming to the near end of this year long trilogy and I want to thank all of you for your support of them all. Again, thank you for reading and please leave a review with your thoughts! Love hearing from you always. Till next time!