Chapter 31

Spring snuck up on Kyomi and with it the end of the school year. She was preparing her classes for their graduation ceremony to the next grade. The preschool was a flurry of activity practicing their music and the things they had memorized for the ceremony. Kyomi had come home and dropped her bags in the entry. She hadn't managed to make it to the kitchen to start her coffee or dinner. She had gotten to the table and had fallen asleep on her arms. Luc and Shigure came inside from playing in the forest. They saw Kyomi's bags and wondering why she left them there, went inside to see the most important woman in their lives sleeping peacefully. Luc looked up at Shigure, "Shhh… Mommy seeping."

Shigure chuckled, "So it seems little one. How about you help me make some tea and some coffee for your mother?" Luc nodded in agreement and ran into the kitchen. Both attempting to be as quiet as they could. They had just succeeded and had sat at the other side of the table with a cup of tea and a glass of milk when the front door opened to Tohru and Kyo coming home.

"We're home!" Tohru's sweet voice rang out. Shigure and Luc in unison said, "Shhhhh!" The teens came into the room and saw Kyomi sleeping.

"Oh! Is she alright? Is she sick?" Tohru fussed and gently felt Kyomi's forehead.

"I don't think she's sick Tohru, she's just been worn out lately by school. She's in charge of the graduation ceremony practice and she's been having to work extra days at the preschool." Shigure explained.

Kyo was quiet at the mention of graduation. "Luc, wanna go spar a little?" He asked the young boy instead. Luc drained the last of his milk and jumped up.

"Wet's go Uncle Ko!" And he was out the door.

"Luc! Wait, you need your shoes!" Kyo tried to whisper yell after him, but Luc didn't hear him. Kyo grumbled as he grabbed both their shoes and ran after the boy.

Shigure chuckled, "All that energy. And this after hiking most of the afternoon. What's for dinner dear Tohru? Or should we plan on ordering something in. We haven't done that in a while so it would be no trouble." He said kindly.

"It was Kyomi's day to cook so I had nothing planned. Let me see what we have, and we can see what we need to do from there." Tohru responded and went into the kitchen to figure out their meal.

Kyomi hadn't even flinched the whole time. Shigure brushed a strand of hair from her face. He leaned over to kiss her temple softly. However, a deep voice from the doorway made him jump.

"She must really be exhausted if she is sleeping through that." Haru joked. He had been enthusiastically encouraging their relationship ever since he had learned of it.

"Haru! To what do we owe this pleasure?" Shigure said amicably. "And yes, she is quite tired. Preschoolers can really take it out of you."

"Ahh, ankle biters… That explains that." Haru said.

"Hatsuharu! What are you doing here?" Tohru came in with a take-out menu in hand. She turned to Shigure and handed it to him. "We would have to go to the store, and I know Luc likes this place so let's have this for dinner." She reasoned.

Shigure took the menu and stood to go place the order. Haru answered Tohru, "I came to ask you something. Have you talked to Rin lately?"

"No, I haven't. But I have been worried. I went to her school, and she hasn't been in some time. I'm guessing you haven't seen her either?" Tohru asked concerned.

"She's been avoiding me. I wonder if Kagura has seen her…" Haru wondered absentmindedly.

"I hope you find her soon. Would you like to stay for dinner?" She asked him.

"I should go to the main estate and ask for her there." Haru said turning to leave out the front door. He passed Shigure on his way out. He laid a hand on the older man's shoulder.

"Sensei, take care of her. She's a special person and no one will let you live if you don't treat her well." Haru told him.

Shigure smirked at the boy. "Believe me, I plan to do just that." Then jokingly he said, "Wait, do you mean Tohru or Kyomi?"

Haru shook his head at the older man and went to go see how Luc and Kyo were doing before heading back to the main estate.

Shigure ordered food for everyone and then wandered back into the living room. Kyomi was still out and Tohru had gone upstairs. Shigure warmed up some coffee and himself some tea and sat down next to his sleeping fiancée. He stared at Kyomi for a moment. He knew she needed to wake up soon so he was planning on waking her up, he just hadn't decided how yet. He gently poked her nose. She didn't budge. He smirked and decided she needed a mustache made from her hair. This made her nose itch and she jerked back from his hand. She blinked a few times and lifted her head.

"Good afternoon sleepy head. You napped for quite some time. Hard day at school? Would you like me to give you a rough night as well?" Shigure had dipped his head to put his mouth right against her ear for the last part and he kissed that spot behind her ear that made her jump and melt at the same time. She did just that and then whacked him on the arm for what he said. Kyo and Luc interrupted carrying the takeout bags that had just been delivered and they all dug into dinner.

…..

That night after dinner, Kyomi was in Shigure's bathtub soaking when she heard a knock at the door. Tohru nudged it open and poked her head in, her eyes immediately going wide.

"Oh my gosh I am so sorry! I didn't realize you were actually IN the bath! Shigure just said you were getting it ready! I'll leave now so you can finish!" She started to back out and Kyomi heard Shigure's thunderous laughter from his seat at his desk.

"Tohru! Don't worry about it! Just come and ask what you wanted. I'm covered under all these bubbles so it's fine." Kyomi said glaring daggers over the poor teenager's shoulder at her already in the doghouse fiancée. Tohru came in and sat on the floor, her face that was already flushed, turned even redder before she spoke.

"I was just wondering how you knew you were in love with your husband and now Shigure. What was it that made you finally realize you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them?" Tohru almost whispered. Kyomi sunk in the bubbles a little deeper and played with the suds in front of her face with her fingers.

"That is a loaded question with a rather complicated answer, but I'll try. And just so you know I know you are asking this about my brother. I don't play dumb that well so I wanted you to know." Kyomi said honestly. Tohru got completely flustered and red faced.

"WHAT!? How did you guess it was about Kyo? I didn't think anyone knew!" She said rather loudly.

"Gure has known for about a year and so has Kazuma… It didn't take me that long to figure out either. Ha ha! I knew you liked my brother before I knew I liked Shigure!" Kyomi laughed and shook her head at herself. Tohru just looked dazed. "Sorry Tohru, I know he has no idea, and you'll just have to figure out yourself what he thinks, and I won't tell him about your feelings either." Kyomi smiled at the much-loved girl who she was all but certain would be her sister-in-law one day.

"Anyway, back to your question. It can happen differently for different people because all people are different. But for me, both times, it started from just a desire to become friends and spend time together. Then we discovered we had some similar interests. Then we found we felt more comfortable around each other than we did almost anyone else. I felt like I didn't have to hold any part of myself back from them. They would understand or at least try to understand me. Granted, both Sean and Gure both have a penchant for teasing and annoying the crap out of their loved ones… So they both did and do that mercilessly." Kyomi said dryly, but with a smile on her face.

"Then you realize you are attracted to them physically and want to hold their hand and kiss and etc." Tohru's face managed to get even more red and Kyomi just chuckled. "You also start putting the other person's wants and needs ahead of your own. Not necessarily in big ways, but small things. You choose the restaurant you know has their favorite dish; you watch a channel you know they like. You start imagining yourself just living life with that person and it causes an ache in your heart when you have to leave them, or when they have to go." Kyomi blinked back a few tears.

"It hurts to think about living life without them. When they are gone, it feels like a part of you is missing and your heart feels empty. Even if they aren't with you, you just want them to be safe and happy, even if it means you feel like your whole world is caving in around you. You keep looking for them in a crowd or listening for their key in the door. Even when you do lose them and years later, you find someone who you fall in love with, you wish they could meet because you know they would be best friends and you wish you could see them laughing and joking together." She swallowed hard, a tear trailing down her cheek. Tohru started to stop her and get up to go, but Kyomi held up her hand.

"I feel like you need to hear this. Because love isn't always about the flutters in your chest, or the mind-blowing kisses. It is hard and it is messy, and it hurts. If you move in together or get married, it means you are signing up to do life with that person. Life is hard and messy, and it hurts. The person you love can't fix all your problems or always make you feel better and it's not realistic to expect that of them. They are just as human and as flawed and as imperfect as you and I and the rest of the world are. They won't always try their best and neither will you no matter how much both of you want to. Mistakes will be made, apologies will be given, fights will be had, and tears will be shed. It's not a romantic thing to think about, but true enduring love takes hard work and dedication. It can mean putting aside your own wants and needs to accompany them overseas miles and miles from any family you knew or your homeland. It can mean giving up your dream job to better provide for your family. It can mean putting aside your desires to marry that person for their own safety. However, that does NOT mean it's not worth it. Even when you fight, they are there to help you figure out what went wrong. Even when they make you cry, they are there to help you dry your eyes or with open arms for a hug. When you go through tragedy, you can help each other stumble along the road to healing. Something I've noticed is that when one of you feels like you can't do any more, the other is right there to help pick up the slack. It's about doing life together. Something my adoptive father always said that has stuck with me is, sometimes you have to choose to love the other person. You won't always feel love towards them, sometimes you have to choose to show your love in your actions regardless. Feelings can be a fickle thing; they can flit in and out and around you faster than you can blink sometimes. But unless you are ready to throw in the towel, there will come a time when you must choose to continue to make that effort to nurture your relationship. It happens to everyone. But like I said if they care about you and are good to you and are making that effort right alongside you, it's definitely worth it. The more time and work you put into a relationship, the stronger and better it gets." Kyomi finished her soliloquy with a gulp of wine. "Sorry I rambled a little, but especially given the circumstances in the Sohma family and all you and Kyo have been through, I just wanted to make sure you both have as much of a clear picture as I can help you get." Tohru sniffled and wiped her nose. "I didn't mean to make you cry! I'm sorry Tohru!" Kyomi almost jumped out of the tub but was stopped by Tohru's soft giggle.

"No! Not at all. I'm glad you shared with me. You truly loved Sean and you do truly love Shigure too don't you?" She looked at Kyomi with a soft smile on her face. Kyomi returned the smile, relaxing back into the tub, laying her chin on her crossed forearms on the edge of the tub.

"I do love both of them so dearly. Sean will always be in my heart. Nothing can change that. However, Shigure snuck his way into my heart as well when I wasn't looking and he is just as firmly rooted there. The annoying little boy who was my best friend, has grown up into a caring man, despite all his efforts to hide that fact…" Kyomi finished dryly, rolling her eyes. "So you think you love my brother huh?" Kyomi teased the girl.

"I think I might! But I don't really know! There's so much that goes into deciding these things that I'm not sure I…" Kyomi laughed, interrupting Tohru's tirade.

"Just listen to what your heart wants. If Kyo wasn't a good and caring guy, I'd tell you something different. But he cares and takes care of you and you are both good for each other. I can only tell you to follow what your heart tells you. You are smart and loving and have a good head on your shoulders. You'll both figure out what's best for you both." Kyomi said smiling lovingly at her young friend.

"Thank you, that is very kind of you to say. I will take your words to heart." Tohru yawned and stood. "Oh no! It's past my bedtime and we have a test tomorrow! I need to go to bed!" Tohru opened the door and a Shigure fell into her from his eavesdropping position against the door and subsequently disappeared into a cloud of smoke…

Kyomi just sighed. "Have a good night Tohru. You can just leave him here. I'll take care of him…" She finished a little evilly.

Kyomi finished in the tub and threatened many unspeakable things to Shigure if he did not get out of the bathroom so she could get her pjs on. She had drained the water and was towel drying her hair when she heard her phone ring once and Shigure pick it up. She figured out that it was Hatori and she opened the door to get her phone away from Gure, but she stopped when she saw his posture and tone of voice shift to serious in the blink of an eye.

"She was kept where? I wish I could say I couldn't believe it, but unfortunately I can believe it all too well… Her usual hospital?... Good, I'll pass along the information and Rin will probably have a few visitors in a day or two… I'll tell her no such thing! Good night!" Shigure hung up before Kyomi could grab her phone back from him.

"What did Hatori saw that made you stop teasing him so fast? I can't even get you to be serious that easily." Kyomi poked fun at him. Much to her surprise, he didn't respond in kind. He always was quick to take her bait and then pull her into the water with him.

"Rin has been imprisoned in the cat's prison this whole time she's been missing." He said with both sadness and barely hidden rage. "Her hair had been cut, she's malnourished because she refused to eat, and is now in the hospital. Hatsuharu is with her now." He finished. Kyomi's hand had come up to cover her mouth in horror.

"Of all the things I imagined Akito capable of, this was not one of them. Will Rin recover?" She asked, walking up to Shigure and taking his hand. She discovered it was shaking slightly and she held it tighter and raised it to lay it against her cheek. Shigure's distant eyes refocused on her.

"Physically, yes, she will be fine. Mentally and emotionally?... It will take some time." He said. He brought his other hand up to brush her hair out of her face and lay his forehead against hers. "If Akito ever tries to lay a hand on you again, she won't have a hand anymore." He said, his quiet, menacing voice wavering slightly from the rage it contained. Kyomi took his face in her own hands and tilted it to meet hers in a deep kiss that they both needed. After they came back up for air, Kyomi finished drying her hair and Shigure had gone back to his writing.

"Oh, I was going to ask you. You have to choose to love me? I'm hurt! I thought our love was stronger than that!" Shigure dramatically said. He was continuing when Kyomi launched a pillow at the back of his head resulting in an oomph! from the author. Kyomi just laughed which caused Shigure to smile. She fell asleep that night listening to his pen scratching on his paper.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. LOL