Oh. My. Gosh,
I know, I'm terrible. I haven't updated this for so long, I'm really sorry.
I current have a lot of troubles with the last two chapters of this fan fiction and its so close I'm kinda sad. I don't really know why but when I have to write the last chapters I can't really do it.
I'm not ready to say goodbye to this.
Anyway, I love my readers and I'm so grateful for everyone of you.
Thank you.
When I grow up I want to be protective.
Year 852.
With the completion of the port, also thanks to the help of Yelena, the first foreign visitors arrived. Any contact between the woman and Eren was strictly forbidden, Elizabeth did not trust her despite her showing that she deserved trust, revealing to them everything about the world beyond Paradis.
The first ship arrived shortly after, bringing with it the ambassador of Hizuru, the only nation on friendly terms with Paradis, according to Yelena, and her ambassador Kiyomi Azumabito.
The official meeting with Kiyomi was to be held that morning, in the hope that she could give them even more information, but before it Elizabeth was called by Zackly for an extraordinary and private meeting that concerned only her.
After that and in time to catch up with the new arrival, she swiftly walked down the hall until she saw another man staring at her with intensity and, almost, disgust.
"Hello."
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, somewhat irritated by the recent conversation she had with the General, and this man she had never seen before immediately blew her nerves.
"I saw you this morning, I'm here with the Hizuru ambassador." he stated, explaining himself only by noting the uniform the woman was wearing, thus identifying herself as part of the army. What she just couldn't understand was the reason for his hatred towards her, weren't they on friendly terms?
"Okay." Elizabeth answered continuing her walk more calmly, only because, evidently, the man had to go in the same direction as her. He had also told her his name but she completely ignored it, recording only the information she deemed necessary.
"You know, it won't be any of my business but what you do is deplorable."
"Eh?" she asked raising an eyebrow. She was just walking...
"This morning I was trying to orient myself and I saw you pull yourself against Captain Levi and kiss him."
"And...?" Elizabeth asked without the slightest desire to continue this conversation, even though it was making it strangely funny to her.
She had to admit that there was something ironic about it.
"The Captain has a wedding ring on his finger, so he's married." he explained, trying to point out something Elizabeth missed. Until she understood everything and she was forced to hold back a laugh.
"I'm aware of that."
The man seemed indignant at the tranquility of the woman, who was actually torn between kicking him or making him look bad. Only when she stood at the door and opened it, listening to his indignant exclamation, did decided which of the two was a better option.
Unprofessional perhaps, but better polite than beating up a guest.
"You should be thinking about being a soldier and a woman, instead of getting fucked by Captain Levi; don't you have a minimum of respect for his wife ?!"
The people inside the room all turned towards them, looking at them some without understanding and other hiding some amusement.
Levi, in particular, raised an eyebrow at his wife, trying to figure out what was going on, but also hiding some fun about it. It was really true, with her he could never got bored.
"Why? Would you like to be in my place?" she asked with a smile halfway between amused and mischievous, advancing calmly.
"You go to bed with a married man!" he exclaimed exasperated, hoping to make his point of view understood, perhaps in an inappropriate scene but his principles were too firm and he could not help himself.
He was admirable that he considered marriage such a strong bond but he hadn't noticed the ring on her finger too? Okay, she was quite small but he could have checked before making allegations based on a simple misunderstanding.
"I don't think I've introduced myself yet." Elizabeth murmured without stopping smiling and turning towards him, extending her hand, her left hand, in greeting. "Elizabeth Blossom, Vice Captain of the Survey Corps. Now, if you will excuse me, I have more important things to do than listen to your nonsense."
"I apologize." the man murmured, looking down completely embarrassed. Some soldiers tried to hide a smile, but Pixis didn't even try.
It was nice to see that, despite everything, certain things had remained the same. That woman remained a magnet of amusing events that she managed with extreme tranquility. And it was a pleasure to be able to watch.
"Of course." Elizabeth murmured, turning to Commander Pixis to focus on what was to be a long day. "Sorry I'm late but I had an unpleasant meeting."
"Don't worry, we've just started."
Elizabeth was furious.
She already could not stand everything that was happening, she hated the idea of not fully understanding what was happening and the constant feeling that there was information missing from those that had been provided to them, but sacrificing Historia for the cause was out of the question.
"I don't like that woman." Elizabeth asserted confidently after she locked herself in the Commander's office with her and Levi.
"Ms. Kiyomi?" Hange asked, crossing her arms over her chest and stepping forward to get closer.
"There is something strange about that woman. She's only here for the money. She want the stone of our underground." Levi added, sitting up and indulging the woman's thoughts. Yet his mind kept wandering to the woman's story about the Ackerman and that mark on the wrist that Mikasa had kept hidden from everyone.
Elizabeth had tried, without ever getting caught, to look for useful information but it was difficult to look for something of which there was apparently no trace.
"She made deals with Zeke, I don't think she is completely trustworthy."
"Zeke may want our safety apparently, but he didn't hesitate to throw boulders on two hundred soldiers. If he really just wanted to talk he could find a way to do it. He could have infiltrated exactly like Reiner and Berthold did." Elizabeth cried seriously, clenching her fist at the memory of that battle and all those broken lives. The memory still burned in their chests and they indulged in silence for a few moments.
The Commander couldn't add anything, Elizabeth was right about Kiyomi and her instincts had always been infallible but she wanted to believe that there was a part of her simply afraid of the unknown. It was hard to trust complete strangers never seen before. But, despite her trying to be as positive as possible, a part of herself thought exactly like her friend.
"Too many things are happening. We are unaware of everything in reality and our information is still too vague and incomplete." Levi commented still with his arms folded, without moving or exposing himself too much. He trusted blindly in the judgment of the two but still could not stop thinking about the discovery of that morning.
"We have to find a way to deflect Zeke's plan, there must be something we can do to protect ourselves." Hange murmured, seeking Elizabeth's gaze that seemed to go in sync with her own.
"Activating the Rumbling, at the moment, is out of the question. We cannot know what effect it will have. It could be uncontrollable and cause more damage than we already find ourselves in." examined Elizabeth placing one hand on her chin, resting her elbow on the wrist of the other hand. With her buttocks she went to sit against Hange's desk looking for a little support but she just couldn't sit there.
"But we can't leave everything in Hizuru's hands either. That woman just wants the money, she doesn't care who is ruling Eldia." Levi added.
"However, we don't have much chance and I still can't believe that Historia has decided to sacrifice herself like this." Elizabeth sighed heavily, running her hands over her face lightly covered by the messy bun in which she had gathered her blond hair. In the last year it had grown a lot and she had to tie it often, between fights and missions, in tails, braids or buns.
She hated the idea of having to sacrifice her guys for it. But there was one particular that needed a particular eye on.
"And then there's Eren. There is something wrong with him." the blonde added, crossing her arms across her chest.
Levi looked down at the floor, agreeing with her. He liked that little boy, they all considered him the salvation of humanity but perhaps it was too big a burden for such a young person and he feared that he might collapse. He seemed determined but he could do little against the bulk he carried on his shoulders.
"You noticed it too then." instead, Hange answered.
"Eren has always had trouble managing his anger but he seems to be succumbing to something within himself. I'm starting to think that he has decided to carry a burden that he doesn't talk to anyone about."
"Do you think about the memories of the father?" Levi asked, finding too much displeasure in those two-tone eyes.
"To that, to the the Founding Titan fact, to Historia. To everything."
That same afternoon Elizabeth, also to distract herself, agreed to play cards with Jean. Hange had once hinted to them how good she was and seemingly unbeatable and the young man wanted to test this thesis and see it for himself.
Sitting near a gazebo where the young Niccolò was cooking with extreme joy and passion, filling the air with a truly inviting smell, she also noticed how Sasha seemed taken by him. And she reciprocated too.
They seemed happy together and, in the absence of another figure, she had to take his place.
"Hey, Niccolò." she called him, still sitting at the table with Jean waiting for him to make his move after changing various games, then moving on to chess.
"Mrs." he answered with respect. Elizabeth had been the first of the Eldian superiors to treat him like a man and not like a Marleyan, she didn't even seem to care where he came from.
"I saw that you are developing a certain bond with Sasha."
Everyone immediately fell silent while Niccolò began scratching his head with embarrassment and fear. Sasha's gaze, despite her mouth full, hit him immediately and he couldn't help but be sincere.
"Em... she's very sweet. Yes, I care a lot about her."
"You know, these are not just any people. They are my guys." she said, underlining the word 'my' and watching him swallow barely. "Make her suffer and I make you suffer."
"And I would take it seriously if I were you. She's not joking, you know. " Levi said, joining them at that moment.
"I have no intention of making Sasha suffer." Niccolò affirmed confidently, trying to show as little fear as possible in order to be taken seriously.
Elizabeth smiled at him, reassuring him.
"Good. Then welcome to the family."
"What are you doing?" Levi then asked, looking at the table after Niccolò went back to cooking, joking quietly with Sasha and Connor.
"I'm playing chess with Elizabeth, sir. Seven different types of games and I haven't won once, not even by accident." Jean commented looking up at him before lowering it again to figure out what move to do.
"Do you really think you can win against her?" Levi asked, fully aware of what she used to do in the underground, even though they didn't know it. Certain things had remained secret from anyone and they had no intention of revealing them, not for lack of trust but to preserve their privacy.
"I thought to try."
"So delusional." Levi answered, shaking his head and looking at the board.
Shortly after their first anniversary she had begun to teach him how to play chess, revealing all the techniques she used to win and sometimes they had even played together.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Jean exclaimed suddenly, looking at the board and figuring out what to do, then moving the piece quickly. "Yes! I won! Check mate!"
Elizabeth grinned at him with satisfaction as Levi looked at the board intently and immediately understood what had happened.
Elizabeth never lost.
"You know she let you win on purpose, right?"
Jean froze instantly, stopping laughing to look at the board. The Captain was right: Elizabeth had avoided checkmate to leave room for him to do so.
"Which shows how much she cares about us." Connor broke in, smiling happily and joyfully. Those were moments that everyone wished would never end, moments when they just felt like one big happy, carefree family.
"This is true. You are my brats." Elizabeth replied, returning the same bright smile, the color of which began to reflect the colors of the sun as it began to set. "And I have to talk to you."
"Usually when a woman says 'I have to talk to you' it's never good." Connor chuckled, realizing he had said it aloud only when he found the Captain's almost impassive gaze and the Vice's amused one. "Sorry sir."
"Actually I'd like to talk to you first." Mikasa exclaimed, rising from the chair she was sitting on next to Eren. The young man looked at her questioningly but she did not look at him, perhaps because she knew that she would otherwise talk to him and not to her, or perhaps because she was looking for the right way to talk to her.
"Sure, come on."
The two moved away from the rest of the group, going to sit on a nearby wall and observing the companions who continued to pass their time in peace.
Levi sat down, tasting something that Niccolò had begun to serve to everyone, hot and fragrant.
"There is something wrong Mikasa."
It wasn't a question and the young woman had chosen to talk about it with her not only because of the role she played in their lives but also because she always seemed perfectly capable of understanding their emotions and finding the right words for every occasion. And she needed the right words at that moment, she didn't want the sweet and beautiful ones or the obvious ones, but the ones that would make her think.
"So many thoughts on my mind." she admitted, looking down for a moment on the fresh grass.
"Understandable, with everything that has happened to you."
Elizabeth's voice was calm and sweet, melodious, but her gaze showed all her concern. "Then you are so young."
"How old were you when you joined the army?"
"Twenty. Much later than you." she replied, turning her gaze in front of her.
Year 845.
Elizabeth was completely drained of her emotions. She could no longer conceive anything, her eyes could only see the corpse of her brother, lying in bed as if he were still sleeping, but he was lifeless. He was still very handsome, with his thick blonde hair and green eyes that made him look like one of those princes in the stories that were told to children. But those eyes would never open again.
The pain in her chest was such that could no longer make her breathe.
She knew it was going to happen, she had always been aware of it, ever since the first diagnosis came. There would never be anything for him to do down there. And that was why Elizabeth had begun to work so hard, working every night in Frank's bar, not only cheating people but also helping at the tables and cleaning when the customers were gone.
She dedicated the day completely to her brother, there were days when he seemed to be fine, despite the sight slowly leaving him, but others when he struggled to even get out of bed and eat. And she was giving up her portion to restore his strength.
Medicines were expensive but getting out of the underground was even more expensive.
By hiding the money, thanks to the help of Frank and the unfortunates full of money she managed to steal, as well as a few thefts here and there to save on food, after six years of hard work she had managed to reach the necessary sum.
The previous evening she had been very lucky in being able to cheat a man who had come down there with a lot of money, leaving with empty pockets, which, added to Marie's pay and those she hid under her mattress, had reached the amount necessary to get Max out from there. It wasn't going to be easy to let him go and never see him again, but she just want to know he was alive.
Before going to work she had danced with Max, laughing and having fun like they hadn't done for weeks now; he had struggled to get out of bed and pull Elizabeth to him, holding her tightly in his arms. She had felt safe in that embrace as his scent filled her roots.
He was the one person she cared more than anything else in the world.
At first she didn't understand why Max was so loving that afternoon. He always was with her but that evening he had deliberately decided to ignore his pain to spend one of the most beautiful days Elizabeth had ever lived with him.
They'd eaten together, laughed, sang, danced together, and then she'd let him rest in bed after that long day.
It wasn't until she got home that she understood why he was so excited: Max wanted her to have one last fond memory of him before he left, because he knew he was leaving.
He wanted their last day together to be memorable.
But a part of herself was gone with him and she didn't want to feel anything anymore. Her heart had broken, her pain was unmanageable, and her tears wouldn't stop flowing. She no longer felt the world flow around her, nor the hugs of Frank and Marie who tried to console her and make her feel less alone.
She loved that couple but without Max she felt drained. He was the only person she had always been with, from the start; he had allowed her to live, he had educated her, raised her, looked after her when she was sick and fed her when she was hungry. He had taught her to sing, to play cards, to defend herself. He had taught her everything he knew. She owed everything she was to him. But he was gone.
His face was serene, he hadn't suffered, but it was only a hint of that meager consolation it should have given her. She couldn't.
She didn't want to go on without him.
She couldn't tell how many days had passed, sitting on Max's now empty bed, which still smelled of him, when the couple entered the house to try to get her to eat.
"Elizabeth, you need to eat." Marie murmured softly, stroking her hair.
"I don't want to eat."
She was powerless, her face streaked with tears and her throat dry; her head was bursting and it was hard to even keep her eyes open but it hurt even more to see the broken look she had on her face for the couple. They were devastated by grief too but they didn't want to lose her too.
"Why don't you use the money you saved up?" Frank tried, proposing what was terribly painful to him but also the only way they had to save her life. In that state, she would soon end up like Max. Better away but alive than there with them while she let herself go.
"You take them, you need them more."
Frank closed his eyes a few moments before setting his eyes on his wife, who luckily agreed with him. It took him another three days but in the end they convinced her to pay for her exit from the underground.
For Max.
For a few days she remained hidden in some alley, never being seen by anyone and easily stealing something so as not to die of hunger, until, for the city, the news of the fall of the Wall Maria arrived. All those people had been snatched away from their families by something monstrous and seemed to turn on something inside the blonde.
She had promised Max that she would find a reason to keep living and that was it.
The Survey Corps.
"Can I ask you a somewhat personal question?" Mikasa asked somewhat indecisively, arousing some curiosity in the Vice Captain.
"Can I then choose whether to answer or not?" Elizabeth asked, but she felt she would answer. "Sure."
"How did you understand that you were in love with Captain Levi?"
"Wow." Elizabeth just laughed, a little undecided as to how to approach this subject. It was the first time she had talked to them about it but she knew she could trust her. "One night we were together, in bed, and he was hugging me tightly. He told me I was the person he cares about the most in the world. And I understood that it was the same for me. It was not just attraction, but something much stronger. I would not just die for him, I would live for him, every single day of my life."
"How complicated." Mikasa commented, clearly referring to herself.
"You love him, don't you? It is not just a fraternal thing."
"Yes." Mikasa answered. "But I feel I can't understand anything anymore. I don't even know what I need."
Elizabeth put a hand on her shoulder, stroking her a couple of times gently to comfort her. Mikasa was a girl of great strength, military ability and intelligence, but she remained a little girl who had been through a lot in her life, with her own scars and feelings in her heart.
"I know it hurts but focus on your happiness too, not just his. Otherwise you will be devastated. Life is shorter than we think. Love him with all of yourself if it makes you happy, but also remember that not only the suffering of others is important, but yours too."
Mikasa did not answer but her heart began to beat strongly, she understood very well what she wanted to tell her: she was telling her to be happy and she realized she was right, she definitely needed those words.
"Thanks Elizabeth."
"I'm here whenever you want."
"Is everything alright?" Levi asked, closing the door behind him, after letting Elizabeth in.
"Mikasa is in love." the blonde answered, turning to stretch her arms up behind her husband's neck and hug him.
"It was pretty obvious, you know." he answered approaching with his lips, but stopping on the tip of her nose where he left a small kiss, while with his hands he took her hips.
"She asked me when I knew I loved you."
Levi raised an eyebrow, intrigued, and Elizabeth repeated to him the words she had said to Mikasa earlier, watching him smile. He was gorgeous when he did it, at that moment he didn't seem like the 'strongest soldier of humanity' or 'Captain Levi', he was just 'Levi'.
"So that was the moment you realized you loved me?"
"Yep."
"How sweet." he murmured sarcastically to provoke her a little, he still remembered that day very well and, for him, it had been a similar moment; that phrase had served him only to admit aloud that he loved her.
"What an asshole." She laughed in response as Levi held her tighter in his arms, lowering himself completely to her lips and starting to kiss her.
"I love you too. To madness."
"Anyway, if I remember correctly, today is a special day." she murmured, rubbing the tips of their noses.
Levi just laughed, waiting for that day to end just to be able to reiterate what they had said that morning before Elizabeth went to talk to Zackly.
"It's been two years already." he replied, stamping it against her more than she did and giving her another little kiss on her lips. Which then became two, three, four...
That same day, two years earlier, they had in fact sworn eternal love, exchanging the rings they wore on their fingers and renewing the promise made when they started their secret relationship.
Quickly the clothes landed on the floor, suddenly filled with the urge to possess each other and to feel full.
Their lips went down to kiss every inch of available skin, while the hands touched and caressed each other, undressing and squeezing.
Elizabeth reversed the positions, towering over her husband's toned body with a mischievous smile, lowering herself on his face and covering it with her own hair as if it were a curtain.
Levi lifted his hands to brush aside her hair a little, bringing them behind her ears and pulling her down to kiss her once more, eager to join her but she was not yet about to permanently bridge the distance.
With their lips together and the tongues that sought each other, Elizabeth moved her pelvis, backing away and then getting up just enough to be able to then go down on him, letting herself being penetrate with a lost moan into the other's mouth.
Levi lifted himself, sitting up and moving his pelvis to help her in her movements as she bounced up and down on him, seductive and provocative.
Her moans threatened to fill his ears, preventing him from hearing anything but her, and he wanted more. Eager of her and the emotions he was feeling.
Of all the love he had in his body.
"Louder, my love." he murmured, letting her lean her forehead against his and their breaths merging into one, moaning and pushing against her to increase the pleasure to the extreme.
Her voice rose in tone, as if it were a melody but instead of words and musical notes she repeated his name, as if to confirm that she belonged completely to him.
A surge of pride filled him, not for the mere ideal of owning a person but for what she was, what she represented for him and what they had built together. He was proud to have that woman in his life and he would protect her at any cost.
He would never let her go.
"I love you." she moaned against her lips now close to orgasm.
Levi pulled her back against him from the back of her neck, continuing to push to make her come with an hungry and passionate kiss, before reaching her.