When I grow up I want to be sincere.
Year 853.
Elizabeth was undecided. She didn't know whether to say it or not but she felt she had to do it and get the weight off her chest. Hange rode beside her, while Levi occupied the other side and watched her with apprehension. She could feel his gaze on her, as if to urge her to say whatever went through her head, also dictated by his evident concern, but she was afraid.
But afraid of what? Her best friend? No.
She was afraid of what she was going to tell her. But, after all, she couldn't take it anymore and she threw it out in one go.
"I have to apologize."
Hange just turned to look at her face, realizing only at that moment that her friend was upset, busy thinking about the whole Azumabito business to even notice the silence that had fallen around her. Those big eyes turned to the ground making her feel guilty, without even knowing why.
"For what?"
Elizabeth took a deep breath, holding back tears as her eyes moistened and became bright. It wasn't Hange feeling guilty now, but she could see that emotion in her eyes.
Levi, on the other hand, did not understand what was suddenly wrong with his wife but he was beginning to worry even more seriously.
"Erwin wanted to nominate me but I dissuaded him from doing so, suggesting you as the best choice. And I actually really think so, but I also see how much pressure it put on your shoulders and I haven't thought about it at all."
"No need. I know what Erwin wanted to do, but I also know that if he had wanted to, he would have appointed you regardless of your opinion like the Vice Captain promotion." smiled Hange, feeling lighter after realizing what troubled the blonde so much. She had always been like that, she always worried about how everyone was and just a few times she thought about herself but it was also right that she made her own decisions. And if Erwin had decided it didn't have to be her then there was more behind it. Other that she had already understood what from some time.
"She's right. When Erwin decided to promote you, he did it without thinking twice. He only mentioned it to us. The next day everything was already decided." Levi added, supporting the Commander's thesis. But Elizabeth still didn't seem convinced, still holding a saddened and guilty look.
"I've always hid myself behind the fact that I'm not up for leadership, which is true, but the truth is, I didn't want to become like him."
Elizabeth's voice broke a little, lowering her tone and letting all the emotions she had in her body shine through. She was destroyed, she could no longer carry that weight on her shoulders and it was weird that no one seemed to understand her point of view yet. They weren't mad at her, and she was happy about that, but there was something no one took into consideration. Or maybe they just didn't want to.
"As I said once, he didn't choose to become a demon. You did what you could Liz but it was already too late." Levi answered her after a few moments in silence.
"I'm starting to think Erwin had seen more than he told me. It's all part of his plan."
Hange smiled at her again, it was not the first time they had that conversation but now she no longer felt that there was something oppressing the blonde, she was saying everything was going through her head without bothering to say the wrong one. Because there was no right or wrong thing, just facts.
"He knew he was going to die in Shiganshina. He just did it by making sure everyone had their job."
"And I'm not ready for mine yet..." Elizabeth muttered to herself, too quietly for the other two to hear her properly and fully understand her words. And in fact they not understood them.
"What did you say?" Hange asked curiously, tilting her head to her side.
"Ah, no, nothing. Nonsense." Elizabeth shook her head, ignoring Levi's gaze on her as she tried to understand the meaning of her words. And she also feared that he had heard it, but she was left with the doubt so as not to ask him and then have to repeat it. "I was saying that Erwin has always been particularly clever. I just wish he had given us more details before he left."
Yet Levi continued to stare and study her. She had lied in part, and Levi seemed to have understood it. But she didn't know if it was simply because he was, by now, particularly good at reading her or because he had really heard her statement. She didn't want to be weak in front of him, not on that thing. As much as he had been informed from the beginning, she still didn't want to admit to anyone that she was afraid of it.
So Levi changed the subject.
"The brats are there."
"Hi!" shouted Hange, waving her arms to greet them, busy building a railway thanks to the informations given by the Volunteers. Metal beams and tools were everywhere but a very neat and precise work was coming out.
The heat was starting to make Elizabeth sweat too, who, despite her light shirt, felt her skin warm up in the sun.
"Man! You're all working hard in this heat."
"Well yeah, we're stuck watching this idiot." Jean answered Hange, pointing to Eren beside him.
Levi crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at their boys who were now clearly above him in height.
"Unbelievable. You're all growing so damn big."
Connor shivered at the words and Elizabeth burst out laughing, stretching her arms around the Captain's neck and bringing their faces closer.
"Oh, don't worry. I love you the same." she smiled, as if the turmoil of just a few moments before had completely disappeared, and making her husband rejoice too, who immediately took her by the hips. She loved to embarrass him but she was always careful not to overdo it. "And then, you complain. I'm even shorter than you, what should I say?"
"So, what about Hizuru?" Eren asked Hange, giving a smile to the Captain and his Vice who seemed so happy. Levi was always expressionless but somehow they had noticed that he was much happier.
"The Azumabito's sent their reply." Hange answered seriously, then sharing that tension with everyone else.
"And...?"
"No good. Looks like we can't turn to Hizuru. It seems they want to monopolize Paradis Island's resources. They won't help us trade with others. The worls wants Paradis to be the root of all evil, it helps to unite all nations and brings stability to the world."
"So, we've got no choice but to rely on the Rumbling and sacrifice Historia?"
"Exactly." Levi added grimly, as opposed as they were to that possibility. It was maddening to have to sacrifice others for him; not to mention that he liked Historia in a certain sense, she was a good queen, always attentive to everyone's problems.
Armin spoke up, clenching his fists and showing all his vulnerability and sadness on the subject.
"You're kidding! They decided we're devils without knowing our intentions? Why won't they consider a path of peace?"
Because peace bores the powerful. They need war to feel even more powerful... Elizabeth thought, but for some reason she felt to didn't say it out loud.
"I think... because they don't know. They fear us because they don't know what we are." Mikasa said instead, giving Hange an idea.
"That's right. They won't trusts peolpe whose face they haven't seen. So let's meet them. If you don't understand something go figure it out. Isn't that what we Scouts do?"
When the guys returned, the three superiors waited for them on a wagon to return to the barracks together. Hange had taken the opportunity to talk to those who ran the newspaper, always attentive to the information to be disseminated to avoid further racial hatred. Many did not appreciate the presence of the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers on the loose for Paradis and it was better not to push it too hard.
"So guys, how did it go?" Elizabeth asked as the coachman drove off and the wagon began to move, dragged by the horse.
"The railroad is operational." Connor answered with a proud smile that warmed Elizabeth, it was nice to see them as simple friends every now and then, instead of making them think only about war and fight.
"Have you already done the first round?"
"Yeah, it was pretty funny." Sasha added, eating a cooked potato which Elizabeth had no idea where it came from.
"I can imagine it." smiled Hange, listening to the conversation and sharing the same thoughts as the blonde.
"Hey look there."
Sasha eagerly pointed to a spot behind the top three's backs.
Under a flowering tree, with the evening's light breeze ruffling its leaves and helping to spread a sweet scent in the air, a man knelt in front of his girlfriend, making her move and showing her a small ring with a diamond above, evidently asking her to be his wife. The woman burst into tears, barely muttering a 'yes' and then letting the man embrace her and kiss her passionately.
"Aww, how romantic." murmured the brunette, then focusing again on her food as if she hadn't even seen that scene.
Elizabeth shook her head in amusement, taking the opportunity to provoke her husband a little.
"You didn't ask me to marry you like that."
"Did he ask you?!" Mikasa exclaimed amused, pretending to be a little shocked and joking with the Vice Captain. She had learned when they could deal with her normally and when not, and in quieter moments she completely eliminated the hierarchical distinctions between them. "I thought he took you to the officiant and said 'now we're getting married'."
Somehow it was nice to see the Captain more involved; always stoic and impassive, but there were times when he seemed more talkative and open to the joke.
More human and less soldier.
"I thought about it, it would have been faster." answered Levi, turning to the blonde and holding her bright and amused gaze. For a moment, watching that scene, he had feared that his proposal had turned out to be dull, but Elizabeth didn't like big useless gestures, she was a simple person and she had always considered that proposal perfect. It had come at the right time and had turned her life upside down, giving her something to hold on to as a reminder that she had to go on living for the people she had lost, but also for those still alive that she loved. And Levi was the one she loved the most.
"Do you remember when they all found out you got married?" Eren then asked, intruding into the conversation as if he were trying not to think about anything else. Elizabeth looked at him a little silently, feeling immensely sorry for the load he carried on his shoulders. His life was getting shorter year after year due to the curse of the titans and it must have been really hard for him. She just hoped it wouldn't make him lose his way.
"They were all shocked." Jean laughed a little at her, looking at the Vice Captain and then retreating to the Captain's gaze beside her. He didn't like that story very much, it annoyed him knowing that people had to constantly put their mouths on them but after five years he had gotten used to it.
"And many still are." Armin added more calmly, smiling at Elizabeth's exasperated gaze, which tilted her head back.
"Oh my God, really. It's been three years, get over it."
Year 850
All the soldiers were gathered to eat breakfast together. That year was coming to an end, taking away all the suffering that many had endured. It was a strange feeling, as if it were something unthinkable. Many did not believe that they would see the dawn of the new year but instead they were all there talking quietly and going about their daily life with much more confidence towards the future. Everyone had begun to see a future.
Levi and Elizabeth entered the hall together, quietly talking about the next expedition to Wall Maria to begin ridding the District of the titans. It was also proposed to settle near that area for a certain period, taking advantage of one of the older and abandoned houses on the edge of the Wall so as not to always have to travel too far and tire the soldiers, and the two, under Hange's order, were beginning to take the idea into consideration. Hange had left the decision to them, shedding some of the workload that had beset her since they had come back.
But what immediately jumped to everyone's eye was not seeing them together and talking too close to be just teammates, but those little golden rings that adorned their ring fingers, reflecting the sunlight almost completely high in the sky. Silence fell in the room as the two made their way to the table where Hange sat waiting for them with Nile and other superiors.
The Commander of the Military Police looked up from his plate to point at the Captain, visibly irritated by the chatter that had arisen as they passed, and giggled just in sight of what he knew was going to happen.
"Hey did you see it?! They wear wedding rings."
"I can't believe it. The Captain and the Vice Captain are married."
"I knew they were together!"
A hum of voices with overly comprehensible phrases rose in the room and Elizabeth appealed to her self-control not to burst out laughing. It was annoying but, in fact, she could understand them. There were those who had been waiting for that revelation ever since she was promoted. Levi, on the other hand, was using his own self-control to not beat them all.
"Tch, see what I have to do." he murmured taking a breath to calm down and keep his nerve. He turned to the rest of the room, taking advantage of his scarier look, which immediately had the desired effect because everyone fell silent instantly. "Yes, we're married but it's still none of your business. The first one I hear about the matter I make him wipe the whole barracks with the tongue."
"I don't think he's joking, you know." Elizabeth added more affably, sitting up and taking her fork to begin eating what filled her plate.
Elizabeth shook her head, noting the road they were about to pass by, and asked the coachman to stop.
"Levi and I stop here."
"Mh?"
Not even Levi was aware of that decision, apparently taken suddenly, but in the Vice Captain's head it was all calculated.
"Why?" Connor asked curiously instead, under the gaze of a smiling Hange. She was the only one who had been informed of that little surprise she wanted to give Levi.
"He has to come with me to a place." she concluded, taking her husband by the hand and getting off the wagon, then greeting the rest of the team as the wagon resumed its march.
"Where are we going?" Levi asked, following her without objecting, but intrigued by her behavior. She was going to a specific place.
"Remember when I told you that Frank and Marie managed to get out of the underground?"
"Yes."
Elizabeth smiled at him in satisfaction, turning the corner and leading him to what looked like... a tea shop.
"So... This morning I received a letter from them telling me that everything is ready."
"What's ready?" Levi asked as Elizabeth brought him closer and closer to that shop, while a certain awareness made its way into his chest making his heart beat faster.
Awareness to which she immediately confirmed.
"Their new shop."
Levi missed a heartbeat. She knew about that dream and made sure it came true.
Elizabeth pulled him inside and a strong smell of tea filled his nostrils, lulling his sense of smell. A man from behind, intent on arranging boxes of particular mixtures with great care, referred to them without even turning around.
"I'm sorry but we're still closed."
"For us, too?" Elizabeth asked smiling and thus prompting the man to turn around smiling.
Frank had to hold back tears as he saw Elizabeth in front of him again, whom he hadn't seen since their wedding day, and especially proud of her after news leaked about the Battle of Shiganshina. How much they had been worried for them that day but they were there, even healthier than before if that was possible.
"You have finally arrived." he smiled, going to hug the woman and then giving a friendly pat to Levi.
The Captain still did not know what to say, in his mind he had already understood what his wife had done but, perhaps, a part of him wanted to hear her say it. He wanted confirmation that she was behind it.
"Am I wrong or did I hear Elizabeth's voice?" Marie asked, entering the shop from the service room where they kept their personal things and that, through a locked door, would take upstairs to their house.
"Sorry I'm late." she murmured immediately getting at ease.
The woman emulated her husband's gesture, squeezing her tightly to her chest but letting a tear of joy escape, before going to hug Levi too, who instead remained still and clumsy, unsure of how to move.
He wasn't used to such displays of affection, Elizabeth had informed them, but Marie had decided she didn't care.
"Don't worry, with all your commitments to the Survey Corps. We're happy that you're here."
"You must be wondering why all this, Levi, right?" Frank asked instead, noticing a particular glint in the stoic Captain's eyes, who still looked around in disbelief and emotion.
"Elizabeth told us about it and we no longer want to deal with annoying old drunkards. This is quieter."
"And when we are no longer there it will be yours. It is also now but... let's pretend to be tax." Marie then added, smiling at Levi as a mother does with her own child. Levi felt a strong heat in his chest. That was the warmth of a family, one that had been taken from him as a child but he had been given a second chance. And he was grateful to have caught it, albeit with some difficulty. It was still all new to him but he felt his heart pounding with happiness. Elizabeth had done all that for him, she had, in a way, made his dream come true.
"You married our little girl, you are part of the family." then added Frank, giving Levi another pat on the shoulder, smiling happily at him.
"Thanks." Levi murmured, grateful, happy and excited. He didn't even know what to say, he was left speechless. He didn't expect such a thing.
"So, do you like it?" Elizabeth asked approaching him and reaching her hands around his hips to hug him. Levi looked down at her, kissing her lips softly.
"It's perfect."