When I grow up I want to be grateful.

Having worked out what seemed to be the best plan to act, with the hope of not having to kill anyone, the first thing to do was to retrieve the Azumabitos from Floch as the only ones who knew how to properly fly the seaplane in order to reach the Rumbling. With all that Titans going toward the rest of the world, every minute was precious and there was no more time to waste. Above all, there was no more time to sleep for Elizabeth and Levi.

Dizziness and pain were still powerful and it was hard to exaggerate, but neither was willing to stay still as they both tried to keep the other one at rest.

But if Levi was limited to worrying about her state of health, still unaware of the reason, Elizabeth had a thousand thoughts on her mind and, by now, it was no longer new to anyone in that improvised group, to see her with lost eyes. in the void and the mind that wanders who knows where.

Levi was the most curious of all. It was the second time in his life that he had seen her so immersed in her own thoughts, she seemed surrounded by an almost indestructible barrier; and there was, for him, the knowledge that she only did it when she found out that she couldn't get pregnant, so he couldn't really understand what was pushing her into that silence. She knew him perfectly well that she could tell him anything.

Was it because of her position practically imposed on her by Zackly? She was opposed to the latter and, perhaps, he speculated, it could be the cause of her emotional state. The responsibilities on her shoulders were a lot and she surely wasn't ready but he knew she would be up to that role.

Didn't she speak for the presence of all those people? Maybe it was because of her health.

He had a thousand hypotheses in mind, all perfectly valid, but from which he could not even ask for confirmation precisely because of the presence of so many people. He was not one who liked to divulge personal things but, at the same time, he was torn by the desire to know why his wife continued to be in that state.

If there was one thing he hated it was his inability to make her feel better.

Armin and Connor went under Floch's window, trying to trick him into believing that Jean and Onynankopon had been killed and that the Chariot Titan and the Armored Titan had escaped by sea. If the Jeagerists had activated the seaplanes it would have been easier for them to get hold of them.

Under the eyes of Elizabeth, Levi, Onyankopon, Pieck, Gabi, Falco and Yelena, the whole scene seemed something surreal. Something distant that didn't even concern them. It was as if they were only spectators and not participants.

Elizabeth felt as if she were in a bubble, every sound reached her ears muffled, she did not perceive it completely; the gunshots in the harbor could have been trivial noises of everyday life for her and that scene just a very well illustrated drawing. But there were her boys among her.

Was that the world where she wanted to have children? At first she felt relieved but at the same time disappointed, she feared Levi's judgment but also the idea of becoming a mother, until she had begun to desire it. To have her own family to love and protect.

But that world they lived in was something that made it nearly impossible to protect a child.

How could she want to create a life when all people wanted was to take it away from others? When it was much easier to hold a gun and shoot than to talk peacefully and strike a deal.

Even she, who had been taught from childhood to calculate every single move, now didn't know what to do.

She was paralyzed.

Hange's words still echoed in her mind and she didn't know what to do. Was she happy? Sad? Angry? Afraid? Was she afraid of death?

A myriad of emotions made her guts spin and she couldn't help but think if she was really going to do what they were about to do.

They had to stop Eren, that was certain; the whole world could not succumb to hatred, it was something crazy that did not make it different from those who wanted to exterminate them, but then

What if there isn't an after for them?

For the first time in her life she didn't know if she would survive. Not even in Shiganshina she feared it so much, she was sure she would be okay and she would go home with Levi, but now she didn't know anymore.

She didn't even know if she should have clung to that hope. If she had to accept it without even trying to change that fate or if she had to fight instead.

She had to talk about it with Levi, that was certain, but she didn't even know how to do it. Every word seemed wrong and if she worried him so much that he could no longer focus on his self-defense, she would lose him completely.

"So… it didn't work."

"Why must it come to this?"

"Violence is one thing you can't take from humanity. Right, Captain?"

The words of Yelena and Onynakopon received no response from Levi. He stared with the only eye he had left at the gruesome spectacle that now passed before him, as Elizabeth's hand squeezed in his and she was overcome with a jolt. She looked scared and her skin was cold.

He didn't even know what to say or do to make her feel better, especially not when the guys they were so fond of risked their lives in front of their eyes.

For the umpteenth time her vomit rose in her throat, but it wasn't a reaction to her discomfort, but to everything she was looking at and thinking.

She stood up silently, she walked away just long enough to be able to throw up the food she had been able to eat a few hours ago and using the remaining water to wash her mouth.

Levi's worried look burned on her back as if he had thrown lightning spears at her, but she dared not look at him. If she had, those gray eyes would have prompted her to tell him everything, to talk to him about every concern, and she couldn't. They'd been talking about it for years now, but she wasn't quite ready for what was going on.

"Are you okay?" Falco asked, slowly approaching and reaching out to her back.

Elizabeth turned to the young guy, looking at her for a worried moment. Those guys were so similar to them, their eyes were filled with all the death and suffering they had seen but there was still hope.

Those eyes that had nothing more innocent kept hoping for a better world.

And she had to try hard to make sure those future born children had pure, innocent eyes.

That was her purpose. It had always been her goal but for some time she seemed to have forgotten it, dominated by all the suffering she had felt on her own skin. Perhaps for her, for Levi and for none of them there was more hope for an innocent look but it didn't have to be like that for the future ones.

It was what Erwin had taught her in his own way.

"Yes. Don't worry, it's nothing serious."

"Are you..." Gabi began as Levi, hearing her sentence, glared at her and Elizabeth prevented her from finishing it.

"No. Don't worry, it's okay."

"But you have been throwing everything up for a long time now." the girl tried again, softened since she had told her to get up. Those two-tone eyes had made her awe the first time she'd seen them; in their world those who had such special eyes had something inhuman. She was beautiful as a goddess but terrifying as the bravest of warriors despite her height. But she had listened her comfort Jean and was also capable of immense empathy and kindness. She was the clearest example of never having to judge someone by appearance.

And she, in particular, was the hardest person to frame she had ever known.

She was that, in fact, for everyone.

"I've been throwing up ever since I drank the wine that brought that bastard here." she replied, realizing only later that it was not the best language to use in front of children but they did not come out upset and, in any case, she had the power to calm Levi who raised the corner of his mouth.

In a moment she seemed to recover completely, regain color in her face and strength in her body.

She turned once more towards the harbor and the situation began to be almost completely unmanageable for Elizabeth. She instinctively clenched both fists and her gaze changed color.

Red with anger. Furious and terrifying.

"Is this sudden change normal?" Pieck asked, still in her titan form.

"Yes." Levi replied calmly, relieved by her determination.

"I want to become like her." Onyankopon taunted him with one of his affable smiles. Falco nodded with his mouth open.

"Me too."

She was tired of watching the massacre without doing anything.

The Jeagerists had begun to return fire, mercilessly attacking the Armored Titan and the Female Titan, while the rest of the team tried relentlessly to get the Azumabito to safety.

"Let's go. Move your ass. I'm not leaving my guys alone."

And Elizabeth's was an order.

Once they were all on the Cart Titan, after Elizabeth made sure, -not after much worry on her husband's part-, that Levi was firmly attached to it, she began loading a rifle, ready to fire.

The detail of Sasha's death was still painful in her heart, but useful at the same time. Elizabeth turned to Gabi, handing her a sniper rifle.

"You are small but as a sniper you are not bad. Show me what you can do." Elizabeth ordered confidently, keeping her gaze as rigid and authoritative as she had. With her gaze, she immediately spotted a man trying to aim at the back of the Female Titan's neck with a lightning spear, from the roof of a nearby building, and she promptly grabbed another rifle and shot him straight in the forehead.

Gabi stood for a moment looking at her with admiration as Falco watched the scene with wide eyes.

"I need to fight too using the power of the Jaw Titan!"

"You can't. Your first transformation won't go well." Pieck replied calmly, trying to make him think.

Levi snorted, the boy was determined and it was admirable, but with all that eagerness to act he would be killed sooner than expected.

"But if we don't do something..."

"Leave it to me. I'll join the fight once I take you to the ship."

"If only Galliard were here istrado of me, we wouldn't have to be just sitting here worrying!"

Falco completely ignored Elizabeth's protests and fled from the Titan's shoulders, rushing into battle.

"He really desn't know what 'no' means, right?" Elizabeth commented leaning towards Gabi who, continuing to look at the young man, disconsolately shook her head.

"We'll go to the ship first."

Once aboard the ship, Elizabeth's first thought was her husband. Wounded as he was and with so little rest gained he continued to strain beyond his limits for the only reason of not leaving her alone, driven not only by the desire to kill Zeke, and avenge all that the man had caused, but also by for her, to not leave her alone. And maybe it was this last part that had kept him really good up to that point but, in the end, he got tired of standing still and leaving everything alone in her hands. If it weren't for her reflexes, he wouldn't have just come out with one missing eye and two broken fingers and of that he was certain, but at the same time he hated the fact that she too was badly injured and that her head definitely needed to rest. Elizabeth helped him to sit on a cot, then promptly turned to go in search of some clean gauze and ignored, for the umpteenth time, his ailments. Levi kept thinking about that wine, blaming himself for giving it, and now he really wanted to understand what had happened to her.

Then he realized that this experiment did on her as a child must surely have something to do with all of this and why she hadn't turned into a titan. Trying to move as fast as he could he took her wrist, preventing her from approaching the table with the medicines.

"What is going on? It's evident that you are not well."

"I'm fine, really." she answered calmly, repeating for the umpteenth time what now seemed was for convince herself more than the others.

Levi watched her walk away from him only to get him help with the blindfold in front of his eye, watching her with his leftovers as she carefully removed his soiled blindfold. Once completely removed, she paused for a moment to look at the mutilated eye with the stitches closing that long wound to puncture it.

Zeke had taken away half of his sight. But he was still alive.

With her index finger she went to gently caress his face, getting close to the wound but not close enough to touch and hurt him. A slight contact barely perceptible but which, for him, had immense significance. He closed his other eye too, enjoying for a moment those little attentions that almost clashed with the situation they were in, before quickly returning to reality.

Elizabeth saw him reopen his eye and immediately went to cover the wound again, then stopping her hand on his chin to caress him once more. And once again she lost herself in her own thoughts, but this time with her gaze fixed on his gray irises.

"What's wrong with you Liz? Now there are no brats, you can talk."

And she, on the other hand, couldn't. As much as the Captain's calm, almost pleading tone confirmed it, she couldn't worry him more and put him in danger. She had to resist. But maybe there was something she could tell him to ease his worry.

"I have a bad feeling." she admitted, slightly lowering her gaze.

Levi took her chin between two of his fingers, looking at them again, and he leaned over to kiss her on her lips.

A chaste and unassuming little contact that was like fresh air. Unpaid, he repeated the gesture over and over, enjoying his wife's breath against his face, completely ignoring the constant sting that the damned wound was causing down his face.

It would never leave, it would probably help make him even scarier, but not for her. She continued to love him even with all the war wounds and he vowed to himself that this would be his last.

"Help me." he murmured when it was almost necessary to reach out to others to understand how to act.

"No, you have to rest." he insisted, trying to make him sit down again, in vain.

"I got tired of sitting still doing nothing and getting carried away."

"I'd rather drag you everywhere than see you dead." Elizabeth commented seriously, but with such fear in her voice that Levi understood what was bothering his wife so much. Or she at least he thought he understood it. She was afraid of death.

"Please Elizabeth."

Levi's low tone, with those words he never addressed to anyone but her, made her give in, at least in part, she wouldn't be able to keep him still and safe but she could continue to make sure he didn't overdo it.

"At the first sign of pain I'll tie you to the chair." she threatened him and managed to make him smile too.

"Fine." he finished him, silencing her with a last kiss.

Once they reached their destination, Elizabeth had an indecipherable look. Nobody could figure out what was going through her mind anymore, except for Jean because of that particular revelation she had made about herself with him. He couldn't even imagine what a burden it must have been for her, but if he had learned one thing about her in those years it was just how much she cared about the people she loves. And he was sure that, at least in part, Levi's physical condition was also involved.

The boys immediately began to work as they had to equip themselves properly to prepare for battle.

Levi sat down on the crate, determined to use all his strength to fight and fetch the bum he had made that way. Instead, Elizabeth deliberately decided to ignore the dizziness and pain in her head to get to her feet. Hange's gaze on her was more than understandable, at least to her; she didn't need her to speak and she didn't want to listen.

"Liz." the Commander tried, for fear of keeping her safe on the ship. She was worried and also knew that she had not yet talked to Levi about her findings about her, which made it impossible for her to say openly what she thought.

"I'm ..." the blonde began, instantly interrupted by her best friend.

"Okay. Yes, I know. Now you repeat it over and over again. But that doesn't mean you have to overdo it. You have priorities."

Elizabeth opened her mouth to answer but she was left speechless. And this thing did not escape Levi's attention. Elizabeth always had the answer ready, she always knew how to answer anything, but in that moment she just stared at the Commander with such seriousness that she almost scared him.

"I can't stand in a corner and watch, despite that." Elizabeth commented in an almost broken tone, refraining from letting the tears escape her control. She swallowed in an attempt to break down the lump that had formed in her throat and the damn feeling kept making her heart pound in fear.

It was exactly like that day. When she had lost her family.

"I'm not Zackly." she then added, noticing everyone's gaze on her.

Connie looked at her sadly, clenching his fist and thinking back to Sasha, wondering what it would be like if she were next to them at that moment, what she would say to soften that moment so sad and intense at the same moment that they simply couldn't understand. Yet Sasha always seemed one step ahead of them when it came to these things; she was the only one who, when she talked about the feelings of their superiors, were always right.

"Hange! We'll be preparing for takeoff in an hour!" Onyankopon exclaimed, warning them of the impending take-off.

Anxiety took hold of all of them, making their hearts beat faster. The titans they fought had never made them feel that way, they had never been so agitated and desperate at the same time and now they had had to fight against someone they loved. But Eren was not with them and the weight of his choices was heavy. The last thing they wanted was to kill him but they also knew that, most likely, it would be indispensable.

"Got it.." Hange replied by continuing to look Elizabeth in her eyes, with such intensity that they seemed to have locked themselves in a world whose understanding was limited only to the two of them. Now they were sure they shared a secret and would not reveal it to anyone. "You heard them, everyone start inspecting your equipment."

Once finished equipping themselves, the problem remained, for Levi, the fact that it required the use of several fingers, two of which, however, for him, were still broken and immobilized.

"Two fingers is all I need. It's fine." Levi commented feeling everyone's gaze on him. But what burned most of all was Hange's.

He didn't really understand why she was looking at him like there was something big he wasn't aware of. He knew something that surely was about his wife, something she couldn't tell him right now and he hated it. The two had shared everything, both before and after the deaths of Petra and the others, but he too was aware of the same things. But not this time and the idea drove him crazy.

On reflection, however, he was convinced that it was not the time to think about it and that they would talk about it at the end of that last battle, calmly. It was evident that if she hadn't done it, it was only because it wasn't the time to devote themselves to their feelings and she was right.

After talking to Reiner and Pieck, Annie decided to walk away and not fight, evidently exhausted by the whole situation. They greeted her from their position as the two who remained returned to join their battle.

"Are all you fine with this yourselves? Even if we do stop the Rumbling… just think of how Eldians will be treated after that." Hange asked the two, observing Pieck's response with empathy.

"I hate to say it, but you're right. General Magath left us with one last order though: he said to work together, to do what must be done."

"Pieck, in that case... I'll gladly ride on the Cart Titan's back and feel the heat of it's body as we…"

Hange smiled, showing that enthusiasm and curious spirit that she hadn't shown for several days now, that spirit that seemed to have died on their return from Liberio. But that single gesture was only for those who knew her enough to understand every aspect of it. It was a gift for them.

"Stop. Why are you acting so creepy all of a sudden?" Pieck replied, walking away unaware of the real intention of the Commander of the Survey Corps.

"So, four eyes, yet another love from a titan gone unrequited, I see." Levi asked, approaching her along with Elizabeth who had helped him to get up.

"We're not all as lucky as you and Elizabeth. And we'll be friendly in no time." Hange smiled back, watching him as he walked past her and stopped just behind her shoulder. "Hey… do you think they're all watching us? Will we be able to stand tall among all our dead comrades?" Elizabeth and Levi looked at each other for a moment, she with shining eyes and he with eyes full of understanding.

"Dont' you start talking like him too." commented the Captain, looking down slightly. The one who still had not been able to keep that promise did not feel that he had received all this pride from Erwin, even though he knew him enough to know that he would never be angry with him for a probable failure.

"I think now, at least, they know what they died for. It's up to them to decide if it was worth it or not, not us. We can only honor them by living to the fullest. " Elizabeth added, holding back her tears once again. The smiling faces of Petra, Erd, Gunther and Auruo seemed to give her courage in that moment so lost and she couldn't help but feel grateful for all they had given her. Each of those people who had lost their lives had contributed to being part of who she was now. They were them who had saved her life, starting with Erwin who had accepted her into the Survey Corps, Hange who had noticed her and Levi who loved her, and all her friends and companions who had taught her the value that her life must have for herself.

And then there was Max.

He who had unknowingly pushed her out of the underground, giving her that life.

She clenched her fists firmly, feeling a new kind of adrenaline, not determined by those substances that accompanied her since childhood, but that came from her soul.

From everything that was inside her.

Right where Onyankopon was preparing the seaplane, with the help of the others, and behind them, a multitude of gunshots started raining in their direction as Floch, wet and exhausted from being clung to the ship, going to claim something crazy.

Mikasa had the reflexes to take advantage of her equipment hook, harpooning the young man in the neck and causing him to bleed.

Floch's shots, on the other hand, caused holes in the tank that prevented them from going away and that would have kept them there for a little longer.

"Better and better." Elizabeth commented sarcastically by crossing her arms across her chest. She moved her brows a little as the gauze on her forehead annoyed her with a slight itch. "So what else needs to happen?"

A loud noise answered, slowly approaching them in their direction from the mountains.

"This sound..." Hange murmured in complete shock as Elizabeth clicked her tongue on her palate.

"I had to shut up..."

"Tch…" Levi added feeling his wife's hand squeeze his. He instantly intertwined his fingers with hers, giving her courage and letting her do the same with him.

"The Rumbling is here."

In the background there were the screams of those who were busy repairing the tank but they did not even listen to them, focusing instead on the last vain attempt of Floch, alive, who with the last breath left tried to dissuade them from stopping that march.

Armin thought about using his titan to buy time and make them escape, while Reiner tried to do the same and send the young man away. Both were determined to sacrifice themselves for that mission, while Elizabeth apparently watched impassively all that was happening.

The approaching Titans, the screams, the noises, everything was muffled by the gaze that Hange turned to her and Levi.

Please don't do it…

But she didn't have the strength to say it. She couldn't do it, she wouldn't do any good even if she appealed to that new role she had inherited with Zackly's death. Not even the General would be able to stop her. Elizabeth squeezed Levi's hand a little more, swallowing once more, now aware of what her best friend, the person who had given her the greatest hope, was about to do.

Hange turned to the younger ones, interrupting the discussion and advancing until she stopped in front of Armin.

"You really think I'll let you? We can't use up any more of our Titans' power. I led us all to this point, I kept moving forward even if it meant killing so many of my comrades. It's time I take responsibility for that."

For a moment she turned to Elizabeth, as if she were asking her permission for the next step, the one that concerned Armin himself and that she had already talked to her. What had happened to her days ago was about to happen to that very smart and intelligent boy.

Erwin's worthy heir.

The secret General nodded to her, closing her eyes for a moment and taking a moment to herself before opening them again and observing, spectator and participant in that scene.

"Armin Arlert, I hereby appoint you fifteenth commander of the Survey Corps. The quality required of a Survey Corps Commander is the unyielding desire for understanding. here are none more suited for this duty than you. I'm leaving them in your hands." Hange exclaimed, leaving him the role and going back to what she had always wanted to be: a free and curious spirit who had dedicated her life to the titans. And that was how she wanted to die. "And that's that. See you guys later. Oh right, Levi's your subordinate now."

Under the incredulous gaze of Armin and the rest of the team she advanced towards the other two superiors, calmly watching Elizabeth walk away a couple of paces with clenched fists, feeling helpless despite all the power she had over her.

Was that how Eren felt? So powerful and helpless at the same time in front of the life itself?

"Four eyes."

"You understand. It's finally here, you know. It's my turn." she exclaimed with a smile on her face, shoulder to shoulder. "I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now so just let me go, will you?"

"Devote your heart." was the only thing Levi could tell her. His way of greeting her.

She had been a great friend. She had listened to him and advised him, she had been by his side during Elizabeth's absence and she had been the one who allowed him to put her into his team so quickly. She had pushed them against each other. But she had also approached him when everyone feared him, intrigued by his power despite his grumpy ways.

She was the closest friend to what Isabel had been to him; the same relationship, their cheerfulness and the same way of seeing them go away. Both at the hands of the titans.

The umpteenth person who was snatched from him by the titans and all that absurd story,

The one who just wanted to open his tea room and live in peace had felt so many emotions from a strange twist of fate that he didn't even know how to define it.

The woman who had given them hope was now leaving.

And the only thing he could do to honor her and really thank her was to let her go exactly as she wanted.

"That's the first time I've ever heard you say that." she widened her eyes to see the Captain, her best friend, point his fist against her chest in that salute that she had never seen him do, not even when he was brought among them, not even when he became Captain . She then remembered a little detail, one that, however, made her happy because she knew she wasn't leaving him alone. "Levi, take care of them."

Without looking at the Captain's sad face, she turned to the woman who had the power to stop her. But she thanked her for not doing it. She didn't want to die like the Commander of the Survey Corps, she wanted to die like she had lived.

She spread her arms in her direction, hugging each other tightly as everyone's eyes burned on them, heavy and aching.

Elizabeth's hold was what broke her heart the most at that moment. She knew very well that she needed her, that despite everything she was not ready, but she also knew that she would make it because she had Levi beside her and all the strength that had always pushed her forward.

"You were the best friend I could wish for. You made me feel less alone, you know. You always understood me."

"If I'm here I owe it to you. Thanks." Elizabeth answered in a broken voice and her throat completely closed, her eyes so bright that she could reflect inside them, but she didn't dare cry. She didn't want to see her cry.

And she wouldn't do her this.

Hange took her face in her hands, gently kissing her forehead and whispering three words that only she could hear.

"Everything will be fine."

Without looking back, Hange threw herself against those immense columns marching in their direction, smiling and proud thus giving them the opportunity to take off.

"It's so hot!" she screamed at last, not knowing if they had heard her or not, but without letting the smile tear away from her lips, beginning to cut the nape of their necks but bewitched by those creatures like the first time.

Once on the seaplane, everyone took their place, seated and silent, with the exception of Elizabeth who remained standing with her gaze turned outward, lost and empty.

Armin tried to move himself to approach her but Levi reached out to stop him, aware that she needed that moment. He couldn't take her that away too.

The turbulence of take-off just shook her body but she still showed no sign of taking her seat, continuing to watch Hange in the last moments of her life.

"See you Hange..." Levi whispered to himself as if, in that moment, without even looking at her, he had seen what she did not dare to stop looking. As if he had clearly perceived her life leaving this world and reaching all their fallen comrades.

Her vision was obscured by the journey, now preventing her from looking at that distant scene, and Elizabeth collapsed on her knees and burst into tears.

It was the first time they'd seen her so destroyed but she didn't care what they would think. They understood her.

Levi got up from his seat, kneeling down to the trembling body of his wife shaken by the silent gasps of that cry, and hugged her, putting her head on his shoulder and holding her.

Hange's last request. What he had been promising for a long time now.

I promise you Hange.