Sorry, a day late again. I've had a pretty wild week and all the days ended up rolling into one. Plus I am apparently incapable of keeping track of a simple two week period.

xXBalorBabeXx, Well, it was about time Lauren got the last word with her mother in law. Or nearly the last word anyway!

Rebel8954, I guess Tim did have a certain innocence to him. I don't think Lauren and Dean will miss the nakedness, but he was definitely less scary than Mama Ambrose. Plus, who doesn't like getting baby animals as gifts?

Mandy, Did you decide to take the job? I know you were hoping for reassurances from them. Did they come through? A new apartment is a big thing, but sometimes a fresh start can be really freeing, so even though it's daunting, I hope it's exciting too! Hope this chapter makes you smile too :-)

Idcam, Yeah, Dean and Lauren need a company to provide them with 24 hour mother in law protection (especially since Kelly was no good!)

Wolfgirl2013, Thanks!

Minnie1015, You mean you didn't enjoy the image of Tim's pasty, middle aged body in lace panties? Hmm, seems weird, but okay (lol!) And as for being done with that dilemma, well, that would be telling…

Phoenix lord of rebirth, Haha, true, after Bray they can probably take on anything. Although Kaylee's been giving them a run for their money too. So you never know!

Let's get back to Kaylee now then. I'm sure you've all missed her…

Crowd Pleaser

The rest of the week passed by so uneventfully, that for a few days it almost felt like I had a normal life—

Well, apart from the small flock of chickens in my kitchen, and the fact that I expected every knock at the door to be a shadowy, Cincinnati based criminal called Big Lorenzo demanding I tell him where his stolen money was.

But I mean, other than those two things, life felt normal.

Or at least it did until midway through Monday night Raw, when a theme song that was fast making me develop anxiety suddenly blared out and obliterated my good mood. Because really, was one show without having to see her, or hear her, or speak to her too much to ask?

Apparently yes.

"And here she is everybody," Michael Cole announced with as much pep as he could muster, which clearly wasn't a lot since he was speaking through gritted teeth, "Our special guest commentator for the next match, The Real Mrs Ambrose herself, Kaylee Starr."

"Of course," I deadpanned, rolling my eyes up, and, oh god, I was turning into my mother in law.

Help.

Except I hadn't found Dean's secret hickory smoked whisky and drained it like a cheap bottle of pop, which was something we had discovered an hour after the camper had rolled off our driveway and disappeared out of sight. Which Dean had been more than a little upset about. Okay fine, he'd wanted to jump in the car and chase them down like Smokey and the Bandit, although thankfully a combination of me hiding the keys, and Petrie and Littlefoot suddenly escaping and getting stuck under the refrigerator had dampened his rage.

Plus the sex we'd had later. Because that had definitely helped things.

A lot.

Back in the present, somebody prodded me,

"Ow."

"Move," JBL barked, flapping a hand at me as he tried to wrestle a spare chair in. Or in between us to be more specific, like he thought I was going to sit next to her.

Ohhhhh no.

In one quick move, I pulled off my headset and wheeled the seat around to the other side of the desk, before sitting back down like nothing had happened and shrugging at an open mouthed JBL.

"What? I was making it look more aesthetically pleasing. So now it goes girl, boy, boy, girl. Oh, and also, I don't want to sit next to her."

"But—,"

Luckily, whatever JBL was about to say was cut off by the end of Kaylee's terrible generic music and her sneer-faced arrival in front of the desk, wearing a deep blue pvc catsuit that showed off her camel toe and squeaked when she walked.

Although at least this time she wasn't in ring gear.

"Michael, Mr. Layfield, jealous hoebag," she chirped, making sure to fire the last greeting in my direction as she sashayed around the table and dropped down into her chair, followed by the semi-deafening creak of cheap plastic as her ass hit the leather and then shifted around.

Leaning forward, I smiled at her sweetly,

"Oops sorry, did you say something just now? Only I couldn't quite hear over the racket of your clothing."

"I said—," Kaylee started, before having to stop as R-Truth came gambolling out from gorilla, holding a microphone and rapping his own entrance song.

"What's up?"

"What's up," we all chanted back dutifully. Apart from Kaylee, who looked like she'd entered the seventh circle of hell.

"Uh, who is that and what is he doing?" she hissed like she didn't have a full headset on, which unfortunately for her and everyone listening, including the viewers, she most definitely did.

In response, both Cole and I audibly facepalmed as JBL bravely attempted to explain,

"His name is R-Truth, and he's a wrestler and a rapper."

"Which you would know if you cared about the product at all," I countered as R-Truth climbed in through the ring ropes and bust out his best nineties hip hop dance moves.

"Which you would know if you cared about the product," Kaylee mimicked, in the same voice a five year old child might have used.

Wow, great comeback.

"And here's his competitor for tonight," Cole pressed on, wisely deciding to sidestep the bitching and get back to the business of narrating the show. To prove that I was also professional, I sat up straighter and cleared my throat, only to groan as the next wrestler stalked out, looking angry, and British, and bare waisted, "Wade Barrett, who last week had his title belt stolen by Dean Ambrose."

"Wait, how do you know it was Dean?" I shot back, because okay, sure, I knew he had done it, but I wasn't going to let other people assume he had, "I mean, who's to say that Barrett didn't lose it, or sell on Ebay, or-,"

"Ahem," Michael coughed, nodding his head in the direction of the titantron, where a video titled last week after Smackdown had started to play—

A video that showed Dean hot footing it down a corridor clutching the missing title against his chest.

I reddened,

"Oh."

Back up on the ramp, Wade Barrett's face darkened from having seen the theft—I mean the borrowing—close up, which made me suddenly feel sorry for R-Truth, who was still bouncing around the ring like a twelve week old pup.

"What were you saying about Dean being innocent?" JBL snorted unhelpfully from my side, which I chose to ignore because I was a professional.

And embarrassed.

Yeah, in hindsight, it was probably that.

Although sadly Kaylee didn't seem to get my memo about changing the topic,

"So, what's wrong with that?" she shrugged, making sure to flick her heavily lined eyes in my direction before saying the next part, "If there's something you want, then you should go ahead and take it. Just like Deano did with that belt."

Ugh.

"Will you please stop calling him-,"

Ding ding.

"And here we go with this one on one match," Cole interrupted before I could finish, which was probably just as well, since after telling her to stop using the name Deano, I'd been planning to end the sentence with you dollar store hoe.

Huh, maybe being around my mother in law had rubbed off on me.

And maybe being around me had rubbed off on her, given that a postcard had turned up on Sunday from a cute looking campsite in the Canadian rockies. And, okay fine, so Tim had written it—probably with a pen he had taken from our house—but I still liked to think Dean's mom had bought it, considering the fact I'd specifically asked.

Back up in the ring, Truth went for a scissor kick, but missed as Barrett straightened up, which allowed the irascible Englishman to counter.

Or at least, attempt to-

"Ooh, nice pin," I chirped, as R-Truth wound around Wade like a python and then tipped him backwards with his shoulders to the floor. Even though the move only lasted for one count—

Then went downhill,

"Oh, what a boot to the face," Cole yelled over an ooh from the audience, "And just like that, Barrett is back in control."

Although frankly the Englishman could have been naked and doing the cha cha in the middle of the ring for all JBL seemed to care about the match, since he apparently only had eyes for our guest host.

"So, Miss Starr," he started awkwardly, like a highschool boy addressing their crush, which my nemesis clearly noticed, based on the wink she flashed in response,

"Go ahead Tex. Oh, and by the way, I love your Stetson."

JBL promptly lit up like Christmas lights, which would almost have been cute if it hadn't been because of Kaylee.

"Well thank you," he smirked, looking pointedly at me, "It's nice to be out here with someone who appreciates my fashion choices."

"You wore a suit to participate in a Royal Rumble," I protested, turning my hands over flat on the desk.

My nemesis and my co-worker both ignored me, which didn't feel great.

"What I was going to say—," JBL carried on as if I hadn't even spoken. No, scratch that, as if I wasn't even there, considering that when he turned around to face Kaylee he left me with nothing to look at but his back.

Well, that and what was going on between the ring ropes, which I should have been watching. Although luckily for all of us, Cole still

was,

"Now here comes Truth with a kick to the midsection—,"

"Was how are you going to beat Lauren on Sunday night?" JBL continued undaunted, "Because everyone knows that you're going to win—,"

"Hey."

"Which means that the only question is how?"

In response, Kaylee preened and flipped her hair sideways, which nearly took the timekeeper's eye out. Not that she cared since he was only a lackey and not someone who could get her extra time on tv, like Vince, or my dad, or my smitten co-worker, who looked like he was falling in love.

I kicked him accidentally on purpose underneath the desktop, then pretended I'd been crossing my legs over.

"Whoops."

"Well," Kaylee simpered, "That's very sweet of you to say Tex."

"Um, you know the only reason she's calling you Tex is because she doesn't know your actual name, right?" I hissed.

Once again they both ignored me.

"Because I mean, I can't tell you exactly how I'll beat her in case she gets any smart ideas, but what I can say is that she's definitely going to get what's coming to her and that I can't wait to be a permanent member of this team. Besides, I think it's about time the viewers had a decent female commentator."

"You mean you?" I gaped back, unable to stop the laugh of derision that trickled out with it. Because I mean, come on.

Sitting forward so she could see me past JBL's puppy dog expression, Kaylee narrowed her eyes at me,

"I'm already better at it than you."

"You are not," I spluttered in outrage, although there was a hint of uncertainty there too, since the only other time she'd been out on commentary I had been trapped in a spidery basement room, which meant that I couldn't be sure she was terrible, I just had everyone else's word that she was, and frankly, despite the fact I had gotten better, there was simply no denying that I still wasn't great. But surely, surely I was better than Kaylee and her total lack of wrestling awareness.

Wasn't I?

"Sounds like there's only one way to prove it," Cole interjected, reminding us he was there, "Lauren, how about you narrate the next section, then let Kaylee take over."

"Huh?"

He shot me a look, and even though I knew the idea had come from Stephanie, or possibly even Vince, he was urging me to go ahead. Because he had been present the last time Kaylee had tried it, and if he thought I could do it, then he had to be right.

Unless Steph had somehow turned him to the dark side and this was all part of some Authority setup?

Although if it was, why hadn't Seth told me, or tried to—

"We're waiting," my nemesis sang, glancing down at her black painted fingernails as if she was suddenly incredibly bored, and—

Yep, that did it.

"Alright fine," I countered, turning back to the ongoing match. Time to show Kaylee what I was made of. Metaphorically speaking, "Truth back on his feet and trying to take control with the scissor kick which failed to connect five minutes ago—,"

I paused to watch as Barrett slammed face first into the canvas, then bit back a grin.

"But this time it works, and now Truth follows up with a cover. Will this be enough? Oh, and a kick out at two."

In response to the near fall, Wade Barrett popped up again looking like someone had pooped on his front yard, since in between his belt going missing and now getting beaten up, he was having kind of a bad week. I mean, mother-in-law-being-blackmailed-by-a-criminal-bad obviously, but bad nonetheless.

He thumped the mat,

"Damn."

"Perhaps the title belt was the source of his powers," I mused as the Brit climbed onto his feet. And then immediately got knocked back down again, "Ooh, and a nice flying leg kick by Truth, who's really taken the bull by the horns here and—,"

"Ugh, enough already. My turn," Kaylee interrupted like we were stood in line at Subway and I was taking too long to decide what I wanted to eat.

Although naturally JBL was all for it.

"Well it's about time. You go ahead Miss Starr, and don't be scared. We're all rooting for you."

I blinked at him in surprise,

"We are?"

By this time I was getting pretty used to both of them ignoring me, but it still stung a little when it happened.

"Okay, so basically the big tall dude, Wade Garrett?"

"Barrett," Cole coughed, trying hard not to laugh as Kaylee launched headfirst into her commentary without clearly having a clue who was who. Or what was happening. Or why it was happening.

"Yeah, that's what I said, Wade Barrett, the big dude, is beating up the weird rapper dude—,"

"R-Truth," I supplied, suddenly feeling much more comfortable. Because holy cow was Kaylee ever bad?

She shot me a glare then carried on talking,

"Oh wow, and now he's jumped up on his back, which reminds me of this sex move that Dean and I did one time."

JBL promptly choked on his water and sprayed a mouthful out into the air. Trying to be helpful, I started patting his back for him, but because I was mad about what Kaylee had said—and by mad I meant homicidally furious—I ended up patting just a little too hard and accidentally bruising his ribcage.

"Ow. For the love of god woman, get off."

Meanwhile our guest commentator continued undaunted,

"And now that Garrett dude has him up in the air, and wham," oh god, she even did sound effects. Like the sound of Barrett hitting Truth with a bull hammer in front of five thousand people wasn't already loud enough, "Damn, he knocked him into next Tuesday. Which is what I'll do to you on Sunday night."

She was talking to me for the last part of the sentence, although luckily for everyone, before I could reply, Dean's entrance music blasted out around us and made the action in the ring grind to a halt.

Instantly we all looked up towards the rampway, expecting him to come swaggering out, but instead, his face popped up on the big screen, grinning, and surrounded by the audience.

Huh?

As the overhead lights quickly skittered towards him—no doubt encouraged by a producer who was holed up backstage and probably having some kind of a meltdown—we all turned to look up at tier 2, row B, where my husband was sat on the steps in his leather jacket with the borrowed title belt hung over his shoulder like he was modelling it for a summer menswear catalogue.

In response, I let out a sigh like a schoolgirl, then narrowed my eyes when Kaylee did the same thing. Because, oh yeah, I'd forgotten she was out there.

Although once again, before I could say anything—like, get your cowbag eyes off my husband—Wade Barrett also spotted Dean in the crowd and promptly threw a nuclear tantrum like the oversized, thirty five year old toddler he was.

"Hey. That's my belt. Come down here and give it back to me, you no good, thieving, scruffy haired lunatic."

Seeing his moment, Truth launched at him and gave him a two handed shove in the back, which didn't do a whole lot physically, but did succeed in pissing him off.

I could almost see the retaliation coming and it made me wince.

Uh oh.

"Get out of there Truth. No, don't dance," I groaned in frustration, as the lovable rapper broke into a weird two step, like a cross between Rocky Balboa and Ginger Rogers. In response, Barrett hauled off and punched him, "Never mind."

Instantly, Dean started charging down the aisle steps, vaulting small children wearing Lunatic Fringe shirts and barging past the large buckets of popcorn and banners that were being waved around by the crowd. On seeing him coming, Barrett ditched the prone rapper and scrambled through the ring ropes to meet him head on, which made Kaylee perk up for the first time that evening.

If semi-murderous screaming counted as being perked up, since it sure wasn't doing the rest of us any favors.

"That's it Dean. Kick his ass. Beat him senseless. Gouge his eyes out."

I blinked at her,

Yikes.

Note to self, wear swimming goggles next Sunday. Or a motorcycle helmet. Or an old style diving suit.

Cole meanwhile was trying to keep up with the madness.

And be heard over Kaylee,

"Wade Barrett now out of the ring, and here comes Ambrose, still holding the title belt that he stole on Smackdown—,"

"You mean the belt he borrowed," I stressed, as Dean snatched a bucket of the aforementioned popcorn from out of hands of a nearby fan and tossed the contents over the barricade straight into the furious Englishman's face, which you would have thought was some kind of acid from the way he yelled and pawed at his eyes. Although, on second thoughts, if it was salted then I guessed that might possibly have stung a bit.

"Ahhhh."

I made a mental note not to try it, then flinched as Dean launched over the barricade headfirst, ditching the belt he had borr—oh forget it—and colliding with Barrett in a blur of moving arms.

"Well shit," Kaylee snorted, "This is better than fight night."

For once, we all ignored her, which was nice. Not that my nemesis seemed to have noticed, since she still was too busy hurling helpful tips towards the brawl,

"Get his arm cranked up behind him. Hit him. That's it. Now hit him again."

Probably as a result of being distracted however, Dean took a sudden right hook to the gut, which left him vulnerable and bent over. Although luckily, at that point R-Truth dived back in.

Or at least, he certainly would have done if Barrett hadn't seen him coming a mile off and used the rapper's forward momentum to send him flying over the desk like a dart.

JBL yelled out a warning as he reached out to grab his precious Stetson,

"Hit the deck."

Instantly we all dove sideways, including Kaylee, who apparently had the reflexes of a cat, since she just missed being clipped by R-Truth's boot heels, and was it bad that I felt a little disappointed that she hadn't been walloped?

Yep. Okay, that was bad.

Meanwhile, Dean had recovered sufficiently that he was able to pounce while Wade Barrett's back was turned and fling him headfirst into the ring steps, which I decided to take the role of commentator for,

"Ooh, it is not a good day for the champion," I offered cheerfully, reclaiming my seat, which had tipped over sideways in all of the chaos, "Uh oh, I think we all know what's coming next."

As Barrett tried to remember what day it was, Dean reached over and pulled him up, clearly planning to Deeds him into oblivion—

Which I missed thanks to JBL shouting,

"Miss Starr."

Glancing along the now battered looking desktop, I expected to see Kaylee standing in place, just like she had been five seconds earlier. But instead, she wasn't there.

She was gone.

Or at least, that's what it looked like from my angle, although as JBL pushed past me to race around the desk, I suddenly saw her sprawled on the matting with one arm pressed to the back of her head and with one Truth's legs draped over her abdomen. Which seemed weird, since he hadn't even touched her before.

As JBL reached her, she fluttered her eyes weakly and put a hand out to him,

"Miss Starr?" he barked again, treating her like a rare piece of china that might break in half if he touched it too hard, "Are you okay? What a terrible thing to have happened."

I frowned,

"But she was fine five seconds ago."

Even from her position collapsed beneath the table, Kaylee managed to crack open an eye and send me a glare so utterly murderous that somewhere a fairy withered and died.

Cole cleared his throat reluctantly from beside me, which meant that my stepmother was back to yelling in his ear.

Thank god I had vetoed wearing a monitor,

"Let's check out the action replay to see how our guest commentator was injured."

Instantly the titantron blared into life, showing a frame by frame of Truth clearing the desktop and then cutting straight to Kaylee pancaked on the floor.

None of which seemed to really add up for me,

"But that doesn't show her getting injured at all. In fact, it doesn't really show anything, which means—,"

"Can we get a medic out here?" JBL yelled over the top of me as Kaylee gazed up at him and batted her eyes, since clearly she'd been watching too much Grey's Anatomy and thought that was how concussed people were meant to act,

"Where—where am I?" she asked extra shakily.

"There, there now," JBL cooed back, patting her hand sympathetically as I rolled my eyes, "You're going to be fine. We're going to take care of you."

"Will I still be allowed to have my match on Sunday night? Please. This is my one big chance. I need this."

"Oh come on—," I started to say, although even Michael Cole looked mildly taken in by her.

In desperation I looked over at Dean, who still had Barrett hooked under his elbow, but was watching the performance with a crumpled up face, since clearly he believed his former flame as much as I did.

Not that the same could be said for the crowd, who actually gave her a loose spattering of applause as the doctor hauled her onto her feet to begin to guide her up to Gorilla and—

Ohhh.

I could have slapped my forehead in realization.

Kaylee was deliberately playing the sympathy card. Which a) had the stench of Stephanie all over it, and b) seemed to have actually worked out for her. Or at least, the crowd didn't totally hate her as much as they had done when she had first strutted out.

The big question now was, come our big match at Fastlane, who were they going to cheer for?

Me or her?

Only a few chapters left until the big match now. We're getting closer…