.

Yuuma was terrified.

Standing in the cold night, stars littering the black blanket embracing the sky, the anxiety prickling his nerves almost made him want to collapse there and then.

Why would... why would Tooru call him out? Did he... do something wrong again? The tips of his fingers were tinged with pink, his complexion an unhealthy shade of paleness. He tried to find the courage, he really did.

Facing Tooru like this, alone and by himself, had always made him wish he never existed. Had they always been like this? Yuuma could not remember it well. The cold breeze brushing past his skin pulled him back to reality. "Where is... Tooru..?" It had been at least ten minutes yet he could not find a single sign of his brother at all.

That, however, did not surprise him. Why would Tooru even take the time out of his schedule to meet up with him anyway? At that thought, bitter laughter echoed in the dark. "That's right... Tooru would never... meet up with me no matter what." It hurts...

"Why would you even come out here if you knew that?"

"Why... because I... I just want everything between us to be okay again..."

"Okay? Are you even listening to yourself? Since when have things been okay between you two?"

"I..." Yuuma choked back a sob. "I just... I just know that—"

"You just know? Oikawa Yuuma, the coward, the worthless, the dreamer, the broken, and the unwanted; stop trying to achieve a goal that will never come true. Your brother will never love you back. Never."

Everything was heavy.

His clothes. His hair. His shoulders. Even the very air he breathed in. The darkness seemed to grow, swallowing everything in its path. It approached him slowly as if he was nothing but a weak prey. Yuuma couldn't help but hug himself in fright yet he still tried to deny the words that were spoken to him. "That's not... true."

"Quit lying to yourself already."

"The hell are you doing?"

The reaction was instant.

When he blinked back the tears that threatened to spill, Yuuma saw his brother standing before him with confusion written all over his face. The shadows weren't moving towards him and the weight that pushed him down vanished like it wasn't there in the first place.

"T... Tooru?"

His brother arched an eyebrow before annoyance overtook his earlier confusion. "Who else?" Despite that look, despite that tone of voice; Yuuma was already happy because of his presence. "Anyways, I didn't call you out to be chummy!" Tooru, like the man-child he was, pointed at him. "Iwa-chan did! If I didn't meet up with you, he'll definitely won't let me do extra practice!"

That's right...

"All I'm going to say is that I'll be civil with you from now on but it doesn't mean I want to be friends with you!"

That's all I want.

"Don't even get ahead of yourself." Oikawa Tooru crossed his arms with a huff, waiting for his twin's reply. He expected Yuuma to stammer and cry, to stumble and run away after. However, the expression that greeted him was different.

"That's okay," Yuuma's voice was so soft, so understanding and so far from what Tooru expected. "I didn't... even dream of going beyond being acquaintances... with you." Because I shouldn't dream of something I would never be able to attain. I shouldn't make goals that would just make it harder for you.

"We're twins, aren't we?" Oikawa Tooru froze upon hearing that familiar question. It was so long ago and he thought that he already forgot about those times. "But it doesn't mean... we have to be close." Yuuma turned around, head hung low. "Sorry... for taking your precious time."

For some reason, Tooru only felt fear hearing those words. As his twin began to walk away, the setter jolted forward but he held himself back almost immediately. What was he doing? Why was he going to stop Yuuma from walking away all of a sudden?!

Say it, he bitterly thought to himself, watching as Yuuma's silhouette disappear from his sight. Say it again! Say that we're twins! SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN! However, he crushed those thoughts with no hesitation. "Tch. Stupid Yuuma and his goody-two-shoes act... sooner or later, you're going to show just how rotten your personality is."

Oikawa Tooru walked back to his room with a frown, the tips of his ears turning cold. Even though the weather should be warmer, the setter felt that tonight was like a winter's night.

A night so cold that it reminded him yet again of memories from so many years ago.

"Dammit... you better be sleeping right now, Iwa-chan." Because he hated feeling like this. He hated how he loved and hated Yuuma at the same time. He wanted to hear his twin ask that question again. "We're twins, aren't we?" Tooru longed to hear those words again and again and again.

"Shit," the setter bit his lip, his nose turning a soft rose color. "Shit. Shit. Shit." His eyes burned, forbidding the dam from breaking. "Don't cry. Don't you dare fucking cry, Tooru." But he could no longer hold it in as he crouched down the moment he stepped into a dark hall. Those muffled cries that he tried to make soundless echoed softly into the darkness.

Stop crying...Please stop crying...

Matsukawa tore his gaze away from his hurting captain. He knew that what happened between the twins was serious... but he didn't think it was serious enough to make Oikawa Tooru cry. Once he got nack to his room, he saw Hanamaki staring at the ceiling with a far off look. "Yo, you're still awake? You're usually knocked out even when you use the bathroom at night."

"That Yuuma-kun and captain of ours... I'm kinda worried." Matsukawa perked up in attention.

"Why?"

Hanamaki sat down, an indescribable expression painting his face. "When I went to the bathroom, I heard someone... vomiting. It sounded bad, like really, really bad. It wasn't the normal kind. It was Yuuma-kun." His face darkened a little as he recollected his encounter with their cook earlier. "When he came out of the cubicle, he looked... terrified to see me there. He blurted out an apology and left just like that. Before he went out of earshot, I heard him calling Oikawa's name "

The brunet hummed and plopped down on his futon which was situated beside Hanamaki. A groan left him which caught his roommate's attention. "I saw Oikawa out in the hallway, actually. We should be worried."

"Why's that?"

"I found him crying."

Which concerned the both of them greatly. Oikawa Tooru only ever cries when he lost an important game yet Matsukawa stumbled upon him wailing in silence, in the dark, as he tried to keep it all in. "Oh shit, that is serious. Does Iwaizumi know?"

"Probably," Matsukawa shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, Oikawa's to-go-to place is his so he's bound to know what's going on."

"Man, I didn't think it would be that bad."

Because Oikawa Tooru was probably one of the greatest person they've ever met aside from being such a petty person sometimes. For him to have such a terrible relationship with his own brother, they wondered what exactly happened for it to be that way.