Chapter 35
Levi XIII – Dark Side of the Moon
It is bloody cold up here on the Wall. How did he even get up here in the first place?
Oh, yes, that's right.
It is because Commander Erwin and Commander Pixis are friends, and it is because Erwin has to be friendly with too many Garrison shitheads that they have this once in a lifetime chance to be on top of Wall Rose's southern outer gate.
Trost looms behind them, while the white snowy fields and evergreen trees extend as far as anyone's eyes could see in front of them. If he thought the temperature on the ground was already freezing, up here, on the Wall itself, he is bloody wrong.
I think my snot is frozen.
Levi wiggles his nose to make sure it's still there.
It is.
He trudges behind this small assortment of morons he finds himself with−Mike Zacharias, Hange Zoë, and of course, Erwin and Sieglinde Smith. The Captain sighs as he glares behind Erwin's back, trying to bore a hole through him. He has never liked the winter season−this being his first time and everything−and forcing him to be out here in the open is borderline rude and selfish.
He wouldn't even be here in the first place if it were not for Signe.
As if on cue, she switches her attention from her brother to the glowering Captain. She smiles and slows down her pace so she could walk in pace with him, clinging onto his arm and tucking her gloved hands in the crook of his left elbow. Such an affectionate gesture in public would have earned her a quick glare−but he is so damned cold and any source of heat is almost welcomed to him. Instead, he puts a hand over hers and gives a soft squeeze, earning another bright smile from her.
Up front, Hange also turns around for them. "Why the long face, Levi?"
He frowns at once. "As you can see, I'm freezing my balls here."
She barks out a loud laugh. "Well, what did you expect from the Wall?"
"That it'd keep standing and I'm not on top of it?"
"Too late! You're already here so might as well experience this rare experience!"
"Yes," Erwin agrees, seemingly in a pleasant mood. "This is the first time someone has ever received permission from Commander Pixis." He turns his body to smile at the pair. "Besides, this would be your first time celebrating it with the Scouts. Better to make it a memorable experience, Levi."
"You're just saying that," Levi huffs. What's up with these people and first times?
"And! And! We get to have the best view of them all!" Hange adds, an unhelpful addition though.
Mike suppresses a laugh when Levi rolls his eyes in utter annoyance.
A softer voice calls out to him, along with a gentle tug on his arm. Sieglinde smiles at him. "Hey," she whispers. "It's going to be okay. If you didn't want to come, you should have kicked and screamed before we dragged you out here. Just enjoy yourself for once, okay? Come on. Do it for me."
He stares at her for a moment longer, before he sighs in defeat and ruffles her silver hair. "Fine," he grumbles, earning himself another smile. He wonders how her cheeks do not hurt from doing that. "You can do as you like. Just stop pestering me, you brat."
Cue another obnoxious cackle from Hange.
"What's so funny?" Levi narrows his eyes at the researcher.
"Nothing! It's just−It's just so wonderful to see you wrapped around her finger!"
"She doesn't," he affirms.
"Does so!"
"Doesn't."
Before the conversation could go a more troublesome route, a pair of soldiers from the Garrison step forward from their ranks and clear their throats.
The five Scouts turn their attention to the man and woman. An extremely tall man with dark, sunken eyes and prominent wrinkles. A short woman with shoulder-length platinum-blonde hair and grey eyes behind her framed glasses. They both salute to the Scouts, although their faces are serious and unfriendly.
Sieglinde shifts from one foot to another and clutches tighter at Levi's arm.
The Captain never had any interactions with any of the Garrison brats, so he opts to keep silent and watch whatever shenanigans would unfold. Erwin Smith steps forward to handle the situation.
"Good evening, Captain Kitz Weilman and Team Leader Rico Brzenska," Erwin greets.
"And to you as well, Commander Erwin Smith," answers Kitz, narrowing those dark eyes towards the Commander's companions standing behind him, particularly finding new faces in the group. He glares at both Levi and Sieglinde, and then turns back for Erwin. "Commander Pixis informed us of your purpose for being here tonight."
"Yes." Erwin nods. "We sincerely thank the Commander for this opportunity."
"In that case−" says Rico, her grey eyes glimmering behind her glasses−"please wait here and do not touch anything without permission. In fact, no one has permission to touch anything. The teams are now laying the final preparations for tonight."
"We would do our best to behave." Erwin smiles that fake ass smile.
With that, Kitz and Rico head back for their teams.
Levi snorts and tugs his furred collar around his neck. The Garrison sounds like it is composed of serious brats with sticks up in their asses. The wind howls stronger up here, almost whipping him off the ledge if it were not for Sieglinde still clinging onto his arm. He supposes that is a good thing at the least: someone to keep him anchored to the ground.
The night skies are a dark shade of blue, dappled with stars. At a closer inspection, they seem to shine brighter tonight than they did during any other nights. Although that might be because Levi and the others are actually closer to them now. The weather holds firm, but with occasional strong gusts and the constant snowfall above their heads. All in all, a pleasant night to spend up here.
He glances at Sieglinde and watches her eyes roam from one end of the Wall to another. Cannons are lined up on either side of Wall Rose. Crates for the ration bars and other supplies are stacked on one corner. There are small bonfires on the floor, providing them with little warmth and light.
Mike stretches his arms and breathes in and out. "Ahh! That smells nice!"
Hange takes an eager sniff at the air in front of her. "What does, Mike?"
"The air." He grins down on her, his blond hair fluttering with the wind. "It smells so crisp and clean."
Some of the Garrison soldiers pass behind them, wheeling carts filled with black cylinders and sticks.
Levi blinks and watches them go, uncertain what those are for. In fact, he has no idea why they are here in the first place, except that Erwin procured permission from Pixis and that this would be a different kind of experience for them five up here. He glances again at Sieglinde and notices the gleam of excitement in her blue eyes. Another glance up at Erwin, and the Commander is smiling to himself.
That makes the Captain what kind of trouble he put himself in now.
Sieglinde is practically bouncing off her feet as the Garrisons are lining up the black things along the walls. Mike has to put his big hand over her head to keep her from bouncing even more. Erwin chuckles at the gesture, Hange grinning at them both. Yet Levi is still in a daze.
As if to ease his misgivings, he receives another tug on his arm.
"It's almost time," Sieglinde murmurs in his ear.
"Almost time for what, scrub?" he demands.
"You'll see." She has the audacity to wink at him.
One by one, the Garrisons, including Kitz and Rico, take up candles and hold them up above their heads. The other soldiers are poised behind each black contraption, with their own candles. They all wait for confirmation from their Captain and Team Leader. Somewhere beneath them, in Trost District, everyone could hear the townspeople cheering and clapping.
When the countdown starts, Levi finally understands.
Kitz and Rico take up their positions. Hange and Sieglinde are squirming in anticipation.
Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven…
Sieglinde squeezes at his hand. Levi looks at her.
Six… Five… Four…
She smiles again and presses a soft, lingering kiss on his mouth.
Three… Two…
Levi sighs and deepens the kiss.
One…
Bright lights erupt from the black contraptions, shooting towards the skies and exploding in varying colors of yellow, green, red, and blue.
Levi breaks from Sieglinde and widens his eyes at the incredible display of sparks forming different shapes. Stars, flowers, and some wriggly worms he cannot even describe. Everything is so bright and loud, and the Garrisons are cheering and shouting amongst each other.
Shitty Glasses cheers the loudest. She jumps and wraps her arms around Erwin and Mike's shoulders, and bounces with all her might. The two men bump their heads together, but laugh it off, humoring Hange.
"Happy New Year, Levi!" Sieglinde embraces him around the neck. "I love you…"
"Tch. You−" He has no words for how to describe the experience.
All around them, fireworks are still exploding against the midnight canvas. Lights so vivid and clear that they might put the stars to shame tonight. He keeps watching the play of the explosives, earnestly mesmerized for something so new and foreign in his life. He's heard of fireworks before, of course, but never seen one up close. Isabel and Furlan would have loved these.
Sieglinde tears herself away from him to embrace and kiss Erwin on the cheek. She delivers her greetings with smiles and laughter, also embracing Hange around the waist, and then tiptoeing to kiss Mike as well. The four of them crane their necks for more fireworks−red, yellow, and then green lights.
"I'm at the highest I could ever be!" Sieglinde gushes, rosy-cheeked from the cold and excitement.
"Not yet, whirlwind." Mike swoops down and carries her on his shoulders, his big hands supporting her by the thighs. Then he bounces up and down. "There! Now you're the highest anyone could ever be."
Hange's brown eyes are sparkling, as if she wants a ride as well.
Erwin's face pales as he panics. "Careful, Mike! That's a 50-meter drop, you know!"
Mike chuckles good-naturedly. "Alright, down you go, little whirlwind."
Once Sieglinde is back on the frosty ground, Hange glomps down on her.
"Happy New Year, everyone! I love you all no matter what!" Hange reaches out to Erwin and slings her arm over his broad shoulders, forcing him to bend down to her level. She holds both Smiths on either side of her. "Let's all win all our battles for humanity!"
"Hear, hear." Erwin laughs.
"And let's all have fun this new year." Sieglinde fists Mike's shirt and forces him down next to her. The tall soldier laughs and also bends down. He wraps an arm around both Sieglinde and Hange.
"LEVI!" Hange calls out, extending a hand to him. "Come over here!"
"Why should I?" He glares at them four.
"Because we're family! Come on!" Hange yanks at his collar and places him next to Sieglinde and Mike.
Mike spreads his long arms to envelope everyone in a tight bear hug.
"There!" Hange nuzzles into the embrace. "We're a family, so we're all stuck with each other!"
"Family?" Levi grumbles under his breath, smoke fanning before his face.
"Of course!" Hange exclaims. "Erwin here is the strict daddy!" She ruffles his golden-blond hair and he laughs. "I guess that will make me the fun mommy! Mike's the wacky uncle! And Sieg's the precious baby!"
"What does that make Levi?" Sieglinde wonders, blinking.
"Oh! You mean the brooding teenager?"
Everyone laughs, but the Captain himself.
He fixes them all with an unamused, bland stare. "I'm surrounded by morons."
Mike chuckles. "You're stuck with us morons, Levi."
"More celebrations can wait later in the week," says Erwin. "After this, we have more pressing concerns."
They all fall silent, the weight of their silence heavy and intense.
The next expedition is in three days.
The world is nothing but another reddish haze in his eyes. There is a buzz of murmur amongst the people of Shiganshina. People are shooting them glances, though most are looks of admiration directed to the Captain. One month after his return, the people still have not forgotten the Captain's deed of returning with his squad safe and intact. He is still receiving thanks and cheers as he passes by, leading his black horse across the crowded streets.
Skies are red and golden, streaked with heavy clouds, above their heads. Levi could already feel his blood pumping into place at the thought of another expedition. However, this one is the most extraordinary tactic yet. Expect Erwin Smith to come up with the most ridiculous strategies anytime, anywhere.
He glances back at his strange squad. Fifteen soldiers in all: Mike and his squad, and Levi himself.
And Sieglinde. Levi had hoped Erwin would spare his sister from the expedition, but it seems the Commander wants to gamble this time. It has been a while since Signe's expedition, after all.
They all walk through the streets with their horses, two wagons with their supplies, and great resolve.
"It's those Scouts again," someone murmurs as the soldiers pass.
"Why are there so few of them this time? What are they trying to do?"
"They're probably gonna have one of those suicidal missions again."
"It's all Erwin's idea, you know…"
Levi glances aside to Sieglinde. Her face is dark and sullen. Not a good sign.
"Signe−" He says in a warning tone. "Let's go."
She gives the slightest nod as she walks back into formation. He glares once at the two men, before he follows the tide of the group, aiming towards the gates of Shinganshina.
Craning his neck up for the reddening skies, they have at least one hour of daylight left.
The bells start tolling.
The ride towards their castle base outside the Walls is uneventful. Captain Levi would have expected a horde or two chasing after his team, though none of it happens. Much better. The sun sinks lower in the horizon and paints the world around them in deep shades of crimson, reminding him so much of the blood spilled only last month. An hour or so later, when the large grey castle looms in the horizon, he breathes a sigh of relief and leads his team into the castle grounds.
They split into three teams and start establishing their camp for the night. Mike takes a few of his men to relieve the wagons and replenish the stocks in the basement, Nanaba and the others take the horses to the stables, while Levi and Sieglinde take it to themselves to prepare the campfire and tonight's dinner.
Outside, the light snow begins to fall again, lazily drifting flakes from the skies.
Levi goes downstairs to ensure everyone is settled for the night. They have a mini-camp near the stables and the supplies, and wave the Captain over to join them. Levi turns down the offer, knowing that he has a more troublesome brat to go back to upstairs.
When he returns there, he finds her standing by the massive window, looking up at the skies. He scoffs to announce his return and approaches the kettle. "The tea's ready."
"Oh. Is it?" She turns around just as he pours two cups. He hands one to her. "This smells good. New?"
"Your mother gave it to me as a birthday present. It's black tea with cornflower blend."
"I see," she murmurs against the cup's rim, before taking a sip.
"Good?"
She takes another sip and nods. "So good."
He strokes her rosy cheek. "Then finish everything. Don't make a mess."
He looks out the window, which opens to the white fields and a few large boulders.
At once, he understands the importance of watching from here: so high up, it allows a good vantage view over everything within a few meters in a semi-circle. He sips his tea and cranes his neck to the left, where a long line of evergreen trees stretch out like a lake of dark green with a blanket of white above them. He nods to himself in understanding. Should those blankets of snow disappear, they would know if Titans are among them.
He checks at his companion again. Surprisingly, her attention is not on their surroundings, but to the moon up above. Following her lead, he also looks up, seeing nothing but a boring crescent moon.
"Did it ever occur to you that when you look at the moon, it's the same moon as everyone else in the world looks at?" Sieglinde muses. "I mean−from the first King Fritz to the first Commander of the Survey Corps, to our lost friends… it's the same moon they all looked at. It's the same moon Erwin and Hange are looking at right now, back home. And it's wonderful because no one really hates the moon. We can all go around hating the sun when it's too hot, or the clouds when it rains too much, but no one hates it when the moon shines. Levi−" She shakes her head−"when you look at the moon, would you think of me?"
"You brat." He bares his teeth threateningly. Something about her sad face and expression gets to his nerves and his chest. He sets his drink down and drops a hand on her head, forcing her to look at him. Those deep blue eyes are also sad. "What's up with the sentimentalities right now, you little shit?"
"Hm?" She flinches, blinking away the trance. "Sorry, I forgot I was talking to you. Sentimentalities are often lost on you, are they not?"
"Why are you telling me this all of a sudden?" he growls. "You make it sound like−" He stops abruptly, checking at himself and his damned thoughts. Like you're going to leave me.
"I don't know." She lowers her eyes, to the steaming tea still in her gloved hands. "I suppose this is my first expedition in a while, and I feel like I haven't trained well enough."
"Are you saying you're in danger this time around?" He snorts. "You're pathetic, as always."
She glances at his face, and then concedes defeat with a sigh. "I guess…"
His eyebrow twitches in annoyance. He grips her head tighter, digging his fingers through her meticulous thick braid. "Talking about things like these, in an expedition, would hardly save your life or anyone else's. Get a grip on yourself and stop whining like a brat. To think that you're a combat instructor but whining about these to me… Don't worry about anything. Just do as you've always done, and get shit done."
A ghost of a smile crosses her features. "Roger that, Captain."
They are still standing so close together when footsteps arrive on their floor.
Sieglinde smiles at the newcomers. "Two-meter Titan approaching from the left!"
Levi flinches and also turns to the doorway.
"Rawr," Mike says by way of greeting, chuckling at the Captain's expression.
"Fucking shit." Levi smacks Sieglinde upside the head.
"It was just a joke, Captain," the young woman sighs, teary-eyed from the attack.
"Don't fucking joke about things like that ever again," he scolds and leaves her by the window.
"Did you have to be so rough?" Mike laughs as he joins Levi by the bonfire. The kettle is still over the fire. He eases himself onto the cold stonefloor and helps himself with the tea and ration bars. "I set up five different teams all over the castle, watching out for those Moonlight Titans. The other two are by the stables. Do you think we'll have Hange's precious Moonlight Titans tonight?"
Levi wrinkles his nose. This experimental expedition just to prove Shitty Glasses' theory. "If we're lucky, those uglies will appear tonight. We will get our hands on them and get home. Instead of having the main group come over here tomorrow."
Mike nods, solemn. "Too many brats?"
Levi stares at Sieglinde, still looking at the moon. "Too many lives to protect."
"I understand." Mike also cranes his neck for the young woman. "Any signs, Sieg?"
"Not one soul from where I could see. Should I go around the back to check?"
"No," Levi rumbles, glowering. "Mike already posted teams everywhere. You stay inside."
"Ah, very well, Captain." She finishes with her drink and joins them by the comfortable warmth. "If you won't send me scouting, then could I have permission to sleep? I'm weary."
She fumbles with their supplies and pulls out a thick sleeping bag. She drags it beside the Captain and slips inside, curling underneath the covers. "Wake me up when Titans arrive."
"Mike will be the first one to know that." Levi puts a hand over her head and strokes her hair. "Say, Mike, what do those uglies smell like anyway?"
As the Squad Leader opens his mouth with a catty grin, he interrupts, "And don't tell me they smell like musk and cinnamon or some shit like that."
Sieglinde chortles into her sleeping bag.
Levi bops her on the head. "Shut up and go to sleep."
But Levi himself could not sleep that night. He is still remembering Signe's words to him earlier. He stares out the window and the moon is still out there. Once upon a time, almost like a lifetime ago, he used to look at the moon with Isabel and Furlan, too. During the night before their first expedition together, they had admired the moon and the endless stretch of midnight blue skies and stars. He supposes Signe is right: this is the same moon he and his friends looked at that night.
So long ago. Only a few months last year, but it feels like a lifetime already.
That is all in the past now. His friends are somewhere peaceful now, while he is still out here, kicking.
He sighs and kindles the small fire in front of him. Mike has gone to check at his squad members, leaving the two members of the Special Ops Squad quite alone by themselves. Sieglinde is sound asleep, buried under layers upon layers of covers but is still managing to shiver. Levi produces the spare blankets meant for himself and throws it over her form, curled up on herself.
Sieglinde shifts and burrows deeper, with only her hair peeking out of the blankets.
"When you look at the moon, would you think of me?"
Levi leans down and plants a kiss on her forehead. Damned brat.
You are my moon.
The morning that comes after would be the most tedious. Levi wakes Sieglinde before dawn and sends her around to clean up the mess, to have her bones stretched and ready to go. Her days in the Military Police must have dulled her movements at least, and he could not afford such a lousy soldier under his watch. He stands by the window to watch the steady rise of the sun, to await the onslaught of the Titans.
Sieglinde returns to him a few moments later, fully awake and equipped with her gear. "Troubles?"
He stares at her for a while, and then turns away. "Nothing for now."
"I feel like I offended you somehow," she says. "Was it about last night?"
"We can talk about that some other time." He leaves his post and passes by her. "Keep watch from this position," he says by the doorway. "If anything comes up, you let me know before you go around doing something that is probably very reckless. Do you understand, Signe?"
"Yes, Captain." She salutes.
"Good." He spares her a final cautionary glance−leaving her alone might not be a good idea−but he decides against it and heads downstairs. Signe might be his only squad member, but she is not his only priority. He has other lives at stake here, even Mike's. Even if the Squad Leader is strong and skilled, Levi still feels responsible to bring him back in one piece.
It is quiet downstairs. The castle is old and crumbling from top to bottom, all grey stones with slabs in between. His footsteps resonate throughout the empty space. He finds Gelgar and Nanaba perched on one position south, Henning and Lynne on the west, and more teams for east and north. None of them would let the Titans creep up on them before the main driving force arrives later in the day.
The morning is relatively quiet, making the Captain restless. Expeditions are not supposed to be this easy. The soldiers are not supposed to be sitting on their haunches and talking in a circle before a small fire. It is morning, which means the Titans are active again, which means more troubles for them. He looks up at the skies, where the sunlight peeks through the clouds.
He wanders around the entire castle to ensure each and every member of his small team is present. Footsteps echoing down the hall, he notices that he is yet to meet someone today.
Where is Mike?
Nanaba answers that for him when he asked her. "The Squad Leader is up on the highest tower."
Levi nods his thanks and runs up the winding staircase. Cold sweat breaks across his forehead as he pushes the wooden door open, revealing Mike perched up on the castle's parapet. He finds the Squad Leader with his nose up in the air, reminding him of a bloodhound on a scent. Somehow, he looks like Sieglinde when she is looking around anxiously for any signs of danger.
Mike suddenly perks up, staring out across the white fields.
"What is it?" Levi demands and follows gaze.
"Those uglies you were talking about." Mike prepares his blades.
"No." Levi narrows his eyes. The evergreen trees are shaking. At best, Sieglinde has already noticed. If he were a second too late, she would be moving on her own. He retrieves his handgrips and brandishes two blades. "Warn the others. Signe and I can take this." Mike grins at that. "Go."
The Captain embeds his hook to the stonewall and flies down to the window he knows well. He perches on the ledge and Sieglinde jumps next to him, also equipped with her blades.
"Make it quick. No unnecessary movements. Do as much damage with the least time as possible."
She laughs. "That's my line, Captain."
He smirks, sharing her amusement, and then soars towards the forest.
With the dark green leaves, the forest looks dark and foreboding. It smells so much of damp wood and chillness in the air. Beside him, Sieglinde keeps up, her thick braid fluttering behind her. Levi watches her face as it sharpens at something in front of them.
A four-meter class−nothing so extravagant.
He finishes with it with a single slice on the nape, before Sieglinde could even catch up with him.
"More on the left," she tells him. "Shall I?"
"I have the right."
He flies off to the other direction and glowers at the amount of Titans already appearing between the trunks and behind boulders. He slices them off, dodges two ten-meter classes grabbing at him, and comes around to bear down on the napes. Titan blood smears his coat and the furred collar. Disgusting. He finishes with two smaller Titans and walks back to the forest clearing.
Sieglinde walks up to him, her shirt bloody.
At once, he is alert. "You hurt anywhere?"
She scratches at her shirt. "It's fine. Just a little gash."
"Keep up with me, brat. It's too early to be wounded.
"Roger that, Cap−"
Levi's eyes widen as a 15-meter class uses its massive hands to spread the trees apart, peeking at them both. The hand extends towards Sieglinde, hovering above her, and Levi feels his instincts running wild at the prospect of losing her.
Dark-faced, the Captain surges forward to cut off the extended fingers. Hooks to the trees behind the Titan, he whirls in a full circle to see Sieglinde launching herself above the Titan's head, behind the nape, and digging her wrist blades into the flesh.
The Titan reaches out for its nape, but the Captain throws his blades into its eyes. Screeching, the Titan stumbles blindly for the blades and upends itself to the ground. Levi rounds towards the back as Sieglinde is cutting the nape, kicking her blades off the hard skin. More blood stains her cloak and the tips of her silver hair.
He clicks his tongue at her disheveled appearance. "You disgust me."
She gives a wry smile. "I know that."
"Come on. Let's head back to that shit-stained castle before the Titans make a nasty comeback or some−"
Behind them, trees are creaking. The two soldiers turn around to see more and more Titans crawling through the thick snow beds, squeezing themselves between tree trunks, only to get to them. Levi curses under his breath as more appear in his light of sight. Ten. No. More than a fucking dozen.
It is barely six in the morning and they already have a horde coming upon them. They only have fifteen soldiers and a limited supply of spare blades and gas refills. And the main force would not be around until twelve more hours.
When Sieglinde growls and takes out her blades, he holds up a tight fist.
She looks incredulously at him.
"Send for backup," Levi whispers.
"Roger that, Captain."
Mike and half of his squad arrive to deal with the tide. The rest are fending off the second wave coming from the other side of the castle. By all means, they have to defend that piss-sodden, shit-stained place for twelve more hours and this is already very exhausting. On top of that, saving blades, gas, and lives are also damn fucking important.
Levi knew it was a gamble that Erwin Smith wanted to play when he planned this expedition−but this is borderline suicidal and insane.
And then they have eight more hours left of daylight.
He flies back and forth to keep the Titans at bay. He has lost count of those he killed over the hours. His blood is still pumping with adrenaline and the stitched gash he sustained from the previous expedition still tingles with dull pain. The forest has turned into a bloody battlefield, all cut-down branches and steam from the corpses. All around him, Mike's squad members are fighting with their full might.
Erwin is gambling with human lives−and he is not even here in the first place.
What is that idiot Eyebrows thinking? Levi sneers at himself as he cuts down another pair of Abnormal Titans. He has Mike and Gelgar at his flanks, with Nanaba and Lynne taking down the smaller ones. When it registers to him that Sieglinde is nowhere near him, the adrenaline rushes tenfold through his veins.
"It's fine," says Mike, as if smelling fear on the Captain. "She's with Thomas and Henning."
"Somehow that doesn't make me feel better."
"It's not supposed to!" Mike chuckles, good-natured as always, and then disappears to attend to more of their ugly shithead guests. Sounds of massive bodies collapsing are music to everyone's ears.
Towards sunset, the Scouts retreat to the castle to replenish their weapons. Captain Levi immediately bursts through the supply room, his blue-grey eyes darting everywhere for his squad member. Blue-eyed, silver-haired−it should not be too hard to pinpoint her in this small crowd. Yet somehow, it is hard to find her. His heart lurches in his chest as he realizes that she is the only one absent in the room. He bites the corner of his lips and rushes upstairs, to the room they shared last night.
True enough, Sieglinde sits by the small fire, scratching at her sleeves. Mike is seated cross-legged behind her, weaving long fingers through her hair and pulling it in another neat, thick braid.
Blue-grey eyes gloss over her appearance. He doesn't find anything amiss. "You okay, brat?"
She looks up and smiles tiredly. "Oh, yes. Just trying to get my bearings. You?"
"I'm fine. My left shoulder's acting up again." He drops, cross-legged, beside her. "You look like shit."
"Thank you, Levi. I'm glad you're attracted to a piece of shit like me."
Mike smiles at the exchange and pats Sieglinde on the head. He stands up and leaves them be.
Levi shoots her a pointed glare, but she laughs it off. "So how are we doing?" she asks instead.
The skies outside are heavy and leaden with snow again. "A few more hours. We can make it through."
She nods, a bit passive today. He squints at her, but says nothing. Instead, they take the quiet time resting, feeling the energy they drained from the entire morning and afternoon fighting off Titans return to their systems. Levi's body feels heavy and rather numb; his arms and back are already sore. He could tell it is the same with Sieglinde with her droopy eyes and constant yawning.
By the time the sun is starting to set, Levi ushers Mike and Sieglinde up to the highest tower. Mike shoots a green flare, hoping that Erwin's forces could see it across the crimson horizon. A few moments later, a series of green flares shoot up in reply, confirming the Scouts' location in no less than five hundred meters away from the castle. Levi could feel the tension ebbing away from him. At least, with the Commander present, the responsibility would be off his shoulders for just a little while.
Erwin leads the main group across the white fields and stops in the castle's courtyard. Hange, Moblit, and the rest of the cadets are all around, looking flushed from the cold and adrenaline.
"Did you have troubles on your way here?" Levi asks, looking up to Erwin's great height.
"Not really." Erwin swings his legs off the horse. "Just three injured. Where's Signe?"
"She should be on her way." Levi decides to ignore the Commander's dismissive tone about the injured.
"LEVI!" Hange is too enthusiastic to be reunited with the Captain. "How was your day? Eh? Any updates you have to disclose to me? You know it broke my heart into pieces when I couldn't join you guys. So you better have some new information for me to feed on!"
He snarls and shoves her face away from his. "Yeah, yeah, stop twisting in your panties too much. Mike and I have the initial report prepared on a golden platter." She snickers at that. "Though let me tell you now that no Moonlight Titans appeared last night."
Moblit hums, joining the conversation. "If not last night, then certainly tonight."
Hange squirms in anticipation. "I do hope they appear tonight!"
"Set up the camp, resupply everything, and prepare for departure in thirty minutes," Erwin orders.
"Thirty minutes?" Levi echoes, unbelieving. These brats have been out there, with three injured, and their Commander gives them no respite. Thirty minutes indeed.
And then Sieglinde emerges, still looking exhausted, but at the sight of her brother, she reanimates. Levi watches from the sidelines as her face brightens, her cheeks flush rosier, and her excited approach to Erwin.
Yet Levi also watches how the Commander barely glances at her direction and moves on with his Squad Leaders, leaving her alone in the courtyard. If Signe had been a dog, her ears would have flopped down in rejection by now.
To lift her spirits, he nudges her with his shoulder. Sieglinde beams at him. It is always so impressive how she can go from one mood to another, feigned or not.
"Come on." He nudges her again. "Better get this over with."
"Of course, Captain," she answers sweetly and follows at his heels. "But how are we doing this?"
"Were you not listening during yesterday's orientation?" he snaps.
"I tried but it was all big words and made no sense. I do better when people give me orders and I follow."
"Oh, for sure." He snorts and rolls his eyes.
The rest of the forces are preparing their horses for departure again. Lynne jogs towards them with Layla and Enzo in tow. After thanking the soldier, the pair mount their horses and follow the surge of the crowd, finding Erwin and Mike together.
"When we get back out there, do nothing but fight, unless ordered otherwise. Get it?"
She adjusts herself on the saddle. Someone from Hange's squad starts disseminating the special trap they ordered from the Industrial City. She slings it behind her back. "I get it, Captain."
Erwin confirms that everything is set and mounts his stallion again. Sword high up in the air, he spouts some motivational gibberish that Levi could care less about. He has heard all of this before. He does not have to hear it every damn time he goes outside the Walls. Besides, it doesn't hurt his salary as a soldier if he doesn't listen to the speeches.
They set off once the sun settles down from the skyline. The Commander leads everyone out of the castle grounds and further south, past the forests, and orders them to assume the Long Distance Scouting Formation. Levi and Sieglinde take up their position from the forefront to the way behind the frontlines: center rear, behind the numerous wagons. It is arguably the safest for them both, but knowing Erwin, Levi knows the Commander is saving them both for the most tedious task.
In no time, their surroundings become darker. A silver full moon appears in the dark blue skies. Snow begins to fall again, accompanied by freezing winds. Levi and Sieglinde are alone in each other's company, their pathway illuminated by the blazing torch he holds above his head, and the luminescent ore necklace he gifted to Signe.
It glows around her neck, almost brighter than the torch.
However, flares are useless in the darkness. It is a more dangerous gamble to be out here. Levi glares at the extensive white field and just hopes these efforts would amount to something by the end of the day. He keeps his eyes forward for the danger, but as always, Sieglinde is first to react.
"Where, Signe?"
"Behind us. Can't you hear?" Her horse slows down, as she stares towards the mountains.
"What do you hear?" Levi approaches, their legs brushing together. He could hear nothing but the howling winds and the whicker of their horses. They both fall silent for a while, two morons listening in the darkness, until he hears it−the unmistakable hiss of a flare and screams of the soldiers.
Shit. He clicks his heels and rushes towards the small forest.
A group of five cadets are scrambling away from a Titan assault. A good twenty-meter class, towering above them like a real nightmare. Levi understands: imagine having trained for three wholesome years in the Training Corps about everything you need to know about Titans, and then suddenly there is a new kind that defies everything you learned in those three years. Life is a bitch, kids, remember that.
As he and Sieglinde are rushing to their aid, more Titans peek their ugly heads from behind boulders and start giving chase. The terrified cadets are screaming at the top of their lungs, scrambling out of the way. One Titan manages to grab a cadet around the head, muffling his screams.
Levi pounces off his horse, sinks his hooks into the fist, and cuts through flesh and bone. The cadet falls to the snow with a whimper while the Captain flies off to dispatch the monster. He mentally berates himself for forgetting their main objective for this expedition. Well, he is only one soldier. The entire Survey Corps can accomplish what he cannot.
He lands knee-deep into the snow, inclining his head at the whimpering cadet.
"Everything all right?" he asks.
"Y-Yeah." The boy is shaking, terrified out of his wits. "Th-Thanks, Captain."
"Don't mention it. Get up to your horse. There's more coming this way. Where's−"
Signe?
His eyes widen at the realization that he has lost track of Sieglinde−again. Blood runs colder than the snow around them as he swings back to his horse and leads the cadet deeper into the forest. His head starts hurting.
Screams are practically bouncing off inside his skull as he rides faster, more anxious now. He spots a long trail of red over the snow beds, and a hint of torn flesh. The cadet behind him gurgles as he keeps a vomit from gushing out. Levi growls, urging his horse faster… faster… until they reach the other end of the forest where three Titans are down on the ground, along with four broken bodies.
Sieglinde stands quite alone in the clearing, her blades spent and her bloodstained hair covering her face.
Levi rushes over to her, checking at her face. "Signe?" he whispers, cupping her cheek. "Hey…"
Her hand presses over his own. "I'm sorry," she mumbles, voice small and trembling. "I was too late. I didn't hear the footsteps. I didn't see the trail."
She looks like a lost girl in a playground. "I'm so sorry…"
"Come on. We have to keep moving forward." He snatches Enzo's reins and pushes Sieglinde up to the saddle. He tries to ignore the faint hint of iron tang sticking onto her. "Let's regroup with Erwin and see what he can make out of this damn situation." He turns for the pale cadet. "What's your name, brat?"
"Uh! Oh, I'm Daniel Kühn."
"Alright, Cadet Kühn, I need you to stop whimpering and start acting like a soldier. Do you have blades and gas left?" The brown-haired boy nods. "Good. You're coming with me and the Vice Captain, and you're in-charge with the flares. Can you do that?"
"Yes, Captain, sir!"
"Then let's go and find the Commander first." He wheels his horse out of the forest.
On their way to Erwin and his vanguard, they pass by more corpses, soldiers and Titans alike. Levi clicks his tongue at this completely messy operation, but keeps his opinions to himself. He could scold Erwin later for his recklessness once they are behind the Walls. His group follows a narrow stream. All around them, they could hear screaming in the distant shadows. Just then, Erwin and his team materialize up front.
"Erwin!" Levi calls out, riding side-by-side with the blond. "What's happening?"
"The formation is in shambles," Erwin informs him grimly. "It seems that the teams have freaked out when they encountered Moonlight Titans. So far, not one team has successfully secured what we came here for. How about your end?" The Commander glances over his shoulder, to Sieglinde and Daniel.
"No such luck," says the Captain. "We have four casualties left behind."
"I see." Again with that dismissive tone that gradually irritates Levi. "We need to secure something, lest this entire operation will go to waste. The Royal Government would have our heads on a platter if we fail again this time. Dead or alive, I want a sample of those Moonlight Titans."
"Shouldn't our first priority be saving lives?" Levi counters. "With the formation disrupted, there will be countless casualties. Let's retreat back to the Walls and think things more thoroughly."
"No," Erwin says, firm and authoritative. "By the time we retreat, more lives will be lost. It is now or never."
"Commander!" One of the veterans points up ahead. "Titans incoming!"
Erwin frowns as he brandishes one sword. The other hand holds up a flare. "I guess we have no choice but to fight. Remember our objective! Keep your sights on the ultimate prize! Advance, my soldiers!"
He points his sword forward, sending his vanguard of ten veterans, Cadet Kühn, Sieglinde, and Levi towards the advancing horde.
Levi grits his teeth, feeling the weight of the trap pressed against his back. He would make sure to put an end to this farce so that they could all go home. He charges to one of the largest in the horde, but it ducks its large head and crouches instead, dodging the Captain. Hissing, Levi sinks his grapple hooks to the shoulder blades and surges forward, but the Abnormal stands abruptly, breaking his rhythm. The Titan stands up straight with one of the soldiers grasped between pudgy fingers.
"Captain! Help me! Captain!"
With another growl, Levi gives up the objective and saves the soldier, cutting the Titan's hand from its wrist. He lands on the snow and drags the soldier by the hood of his cloak, running away from the Abnormal trying to reach out for them. He bodily tosses the soldier behind and meets with the Abnormal head-on, slicing its fingers first and then the nape.
He pants when he returns to the ground, watching pandemonium unfold around him. Ten soldiers are risking their lives for an experiment, for the gamble Erwin had wanted for the Survey Corps. A fresh stream of blood showers at his face, blurring his eyesight for a while and burning over his chilled skin. He wipes it off with a handkerchief, at the same time that the soldiers are running away from the horde, too terrified and confused at this new phenomenon.
No one but Levi and his squad had encountered the Moonlight Titans before. He could hardly blame them for feeling extreme fear and anguish once more.
Erwin is also watching as his team disperses across the battlefield, choosing individual lives over the sake of humanity. Ice-blue eyes dart back and forth to the panicked faces and then land on someone.
Levi follows the other's gaze and freezes where he stands.
"Sieglinde!" Commander Erwin shouts from above his horse. "Sieglinde! Secure the objective!"
Much to Levi's horror, Sieglinde answers amidst the chaos.
"Yes, Commander!" A quick blur of silver upon a palomino stallion passes by the Captain's line of sight.
"No…" Levi hears himself say, torn between anger and worry.
Like a drunken man, he finds his horse and follows where Sieglinde disappears between the narrow passages that lead deeper into the eastern mountains. He had been here before, once, last expedition, and he knows how perilous the winding passages could get. The roads are steep and narrow, leading to a freezing abyss several hundred meters below, accompanied with a frozen river. He keeps himself alert as he rides deeper into the mountains, hearing low moaning from the Titans.
Towards an intersection, he comes upon a second group. Gunther Schultz and Petra Ral appear in the darkness with a larger wave of recruits.
"Captain?!" Petra gasps. "What are you doing here?"
"More importantly, have you seen Signe?" he asks hurriedly.
"She passed us by not too long ago," says Petra, shooting him a worried look.
"I sent half of our team to follow after her," Gunther adds. "She ordered us to regroup with the Commander."
"Damn it." Expect Signe to do things alone. "How many did you send with her?"
"Nine," Gunther says uncertainly. "Is that too few, Captain?"
"Too many." Levi gnashes his teeth together. "Okay, you lot go ahead. Follow the road where I came from. Commander Erwin and the vanguard should still be there. Go!"
And he swivels his horse away before they could salute to him. He has no time for formalities. At this rate, he is racing against time.
He stops at another intersection, turning left and right, and in another dumb circle. Panting, he stands from his stirrups to get a better view of the darkened roads up ahead. Screams are all over the area, and it is hard to pinpoint which way to go. He decides to take the risk and goes left, praying that−if there's a god or goddess out there−he is not too late to save Sieglinde.
He would never be able to forgive himself if he loses her, too.
The road makes a sudden sharp descent. Layla neighs heavily as her hooves slide down the frosty ground. Levi tugs at the reins to steady her, plunging themselves both into a darker road. Shit. He could barely see three meters in front of him, almost bumping into sharp protruding rocks from where the ravine narrows even more, almost squeezing at his legs.
Under his horse's hooves, he hears wet squelching, damp and sticky. He stops thinking about the many creative ideas of what those wet squelches could be. The ravine gradually opens up to a wide, open space, littered with many corpses and a steaming Titan's body. A small hunched figure kneels amidst the wreckage. Not too far, her horse whickers softly.
He skids to his knees, halting beside her and snatching her face up for his inspection.
"Signe?" he whispers, running his thumb over her flushed cheeks. "Hey..."
Blankly, she lifts her eyes to stare long at his face. At first, nothing flickers in her eyes. Nothing but emptiness that quite puts another strain in the Captain's chest. Then she blinks a few times, tears forming and welling in the corners. Teardrops roll down her cheeks down to his gloves.
He sighs and kisses her between the eyes. "It's okay. Tell me what happened."
She settles into his arms, her face buried in the warm neck. "I did it," she whispers. "I did what Erwin asked me… I'm sorry it took so long… It cost nine lives. I should have… done better…"
"No. You did well." He pulls away and looks into her eyes. "You couldn't do everything by yourself. You couldn't have saved everyone without sacrificing yourself in the process. You−" He rubs her arms up and down, giving her little warmth. "You did what I myself couldn't do. Well done, Signe."
"But all the soldiers who died?" she prompts, searching for comfort in him.
"We will all remember them today−and always," he promises, checking for injuries once more.
So far, nothing seems to be out of place−but for that bundle of something nestled in Sieglinde's arms. She holds it against her chest like an infant, covered under her deep green cloak. Levi blinks and pries the cloak open. A small pointed nose sniffs at his fingers and he flinches, dropping the fabric.
A small wolf pup with still-closed eyes nuzzles deeper into Sieglinde's arms. It makes a little whimpery sound, crying more like, in the absence of milk. It is a tiny thing, a ball of silver-grey fur.
"Where the hell did you get that?" he hisses, none too pleased.
"It was alone out here," she whispers, stroking the downy fur. "I saved it."
"Then leave it here. It's too young. It won't last the night."
"Not if we take care of him."
He narrows his eyes at her, murderously so. "Signe, there is no 'we'."
She flinches at his cold tone. "But I saved him," she mumbles. "I saved him when I couldn't save our friends."
She tucks her knees to her chest, embracing the puppy tighter, and curls up on herself like she always does in her sleep. Tears fall again, and the puppy squirms and licks at her chin. Levi notices the hint of a sad smile at the gesture.
Great. Now she leaves him no choice. He either turns her down and risk seeing her sad again or−
"You will feed him and take care of him yourself," Levi Ackerman rules. That sentence alone makes Sieglinde look at him with wide, hopeful eyes. He keeps his face bland, despite the tug at his heartstrings. All the things he is willing to do for her. "You will also have to train him with potty and commands. Am I clear, Signe? If he makes a mess anywhere, and you bet your ass he will, I expect you to clean it up. I won't have him dirtying and pissing on my carpets, do you hear me?"
"Yes," she whispers breathlessly, the color rushing back to her cheeks. "I promise."
"And if it causes any troubles for the other soldiers, I will send him away."
"He won't. I will train him, I promise."
"Good. Now let's head back to the others. Have you secured the package?"
"Yes." She cradles the puppy in her arms and stands up. "I have it on my horse."
"Alright. Guess we'll have to deliver it to Shitty Glasses before she really wets herself."
Sieglinde manages a weak smile. "I suppose." She falls silent, and then: "Oh, I love you."
Levi grunts, rolling his eyes. "I love you, too, brat."
"Oh." She stops, blinking innocently at him. "I was talking to the puppy."
He glares at her, and then to that ball of silver-grey in her arms.
Author's Notes: I'm still alive! I genuinely apologize for the very long delay. I've been terribly burned out from real life stuff.
*spoiler alert* Also the ending of this amazing manga saddened me. Not only is it actually finished, but it is not the ending I had imagined. I found it... lacking. Now, I know some people like the ending, but in terms of themes and characterizations that Isayama had built up throughout the years, it was underwhelming. As a fan of this epic story and as a writer myself, I was disappointed with how Eren ended up. Just... everything about how his character arc ended was done poorly. I have no words to describe it.
BUT! That doesn't mean I get to discontinue this story. As a fanmade story, the ending only gives me and other writers the creative freedom to interpret the ending. Best believe I would continue on writing this story until I get to the very end of the manga. It sounds like forever, but I just cannot wait to write the rest of the story with Levi and Sieglinde into it. And don't forget our boi Zeke. We're getting there, folks!
Thank you so much for reading! And thank you for your unbelievable patience, dearest reader! Let me know what you think of the chapter or the manga's ending... I would be open to discuss about anything.
Stay safe, everyone!