So, here we are at the end. I feel like I'm letting y'all down a little, but hey, it's where the story was always gone walkabout in my brain, so I guess it's true enough to that. Life's messy and doesn't always go where we want it to, so there's that. Anyway - love it, hate it, ambivalent about it, whatever, at least it's finished, this foray into SVU... hot mess.

VI:

Since she had retired from the NYPD, life had been interesting. Very interesting. The first year had been a shit show: she had tried her hand at learning to cook and almost burned the apartment down, tried to write her memoirs and had been told by every publisher in Manhattan to tone it the fuck down because real life was hardly that grisly, and had suddenly found herself staring at a crossroads.

Too much time in her own head had left her scrabbling for the purchase of sanity, and she found it in the grounding work as chairwoman and COO of the Open Heart, Open Minds Foundation. A few weeks later, Barba had quit defending the scum of the earth and come on board as the legal counsel and lending an air of respectability to the organization which represented victims of sexual assault and violence, and educated the public about the intersectionality between sex crimes, hate crimes, and domestic violence.

Olivia spent quite a bit of her time politicking, being the outer face of things, smiling for the cameras, speaking about the outreach programs and the intake programs and the perspective their organization brought… but behind the scenes, she spoke to every victim, every survivor that she could. And she knew Rafael did as well. Their shared history in the SVU did them credit and they spent many an evening in quiet congress over glasses of scotch and soft Cuban music, talking about where to go next. What needed to be done. How to make things better when there was no way to make anything better.

Five years went by in a flash like it was nothing: Fin retired, Noah shot up like a weed, Elliot got married – that one stung. She remembered how Rafael had stared at her then and walked out of her office without a word. How he hadn't picked up Noah that night, or called the next day, or answered when she'd called.

He'd been sitting on the balcony of his apartment with a cup of coffee when she stormed into his apartment, ready to tear him apart, his feet bare, his jeans frayed at the hem, his hoodie old and with holes in places. "What do you want?" Rafael asked.

"You didn't answer –"

"It's my weekend off. I'm entitled to some peace."

"It's your weekend with Noah –"

"I can't this weekend."

"Obviously," she spat. "He's upset."

"He's upset?" he countered. "Am I not entitled to be a little upset, too, Olivia?"

"About what?"

"… are you even kidding me right now?" Rafael scoffed. "God, Liv, I can't even begin to –"

"Try, Raf. Use your words, Counselor." She crossed her arms over her chest and held his gaze firmly, daring him to speak up.

"It's always him, isn't it? Stabler. Fucking Elliot Stabler comes up and you just…"

"Elliot Stabler was my partner and my friend – I'd like to think he still was, but I didn't know he'd gotten married, so obviously he isn't," she said, sighing in defeat. "It's over, Rafael. We were over a long time ago, El and me."

"But you react every time he comes up –"

"I can't just shut off my responses! I'm only human! I still care!" She slammed her fist on the table, wincing at the pain and stared him down. "I love him because he's Elliot, he's the man who saved my life over and over again – for god's sake. But it's not the same… Rafa, it's not the same."

He was still staring out over the city, but his laugh was bitter. "Yeah, Liv, I'm sure it's not –"

"Don't do that," she said softly. "Don't… diminish yourself because you think you're less than him. You aren't, Rafael." Liv took a deep breath and said, "We work together every day and I've never been happier because I love you – and I need you in my life. I haven't been able to breathe all day, thinking you're going to quit or walk away or…"

"I needed space. Perspective." He sighed and said, "I don't have any of either when you're around."

"Is that a complaint?"

"Complement," he muttered. "Thought you knew by now."

"I wasn't fishing." She hesitated, afraid to push him.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you, Olivia?" His knuckles were white as his fingers clutched the mug.

"No."

"Good." He nodded and finished his drink. "Let's never speak of this conversation – or fucking Elliot Stabler – again."

And the world just kept turning. She slipped on her shoes for the big fundraising gala and muttered to herself about the wisdom of white tie vs. black tie – either way, she felt like a trussed up turkey. Rafael appeared in the doorway of her bedroom and cleared his throat. "Liv, it's time to head out."

"Can you zip me?" she asked with a sigh. He came over and gently worked her zipper up, careful not to snag any of the sequins of her gown in the process, pressing gentle kisses up her back and over her shoulder. "Hey, now," she breathed.

"Couldn't help myself," he said softly. "You look beautiful, mi hermosa rosa."

She blushed and turned to give him a quick kiss on the cheek: it had only been a few weeks since he had given in and begun to show her how he felt, how he truly felt for her. It had started slowly, with a single red rose and a cup of coffee brought to her door every morning before work, and before either of them had really known it, they were completely entangled.

It wasn't just sex, loneliness and companionship between them, either, it was a deeper bond forged by so many years of friendship and intimate knowledge that was as comfortable as knowing how he took his coffee or how he knew she left the window open just a crack even in the wintertime because otherwise she felt trapped or that a blanket wasn't enough but a blanket and the duvet was too much. She loved how simple and natural it felt between them, effortless and artless, and for the first time in her life, marveled at how happy she truly was.

"Raf?" she murmured.

"Hmm?"

"We're going to be late," she scolded, chuckling lightly.

He sighed heavily and muttered something unintelligible under his breath. Then, for her benefit, he spoke up. "All right, all right – but… before we go… I, ah… Olivia, Liv," Rafael said, holding her hands very gently, very carefully in his, running his thumbs over the back of her knuckles. "I've loved you a long time. I won't incriminate myself and tell you just how long, but I'll definitely say that it feels like it's been a lifetime. And being with you the last few weeks feels like… a dream. It may feel like this is too soon and I'm asking too much –"

"Are you asking me to marry you?" she interjected.

"I – yes –"

"Glaciers would be too soon, Rafael," Liv teased. "Yes, you goof – of course. Did you think I'd say no?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed, eyes wide. "You're – you said – you're saying yes?"

"I am giving affirmative consent," she said, smiling and leaning in to kiss his shocked face. "Unless you want me to say no –"

"Oh, god no, Liv – yes is good. I can work with yes." He pulled back and patted at his jacket, finally coming up with a ring box that he'd forgotten in his nervousness. "I was going to do this later, at the… at the thing, and I had a speech and… but I decided I didn't want to do it in front of people."

She stifled a laugh and grinned at him. "Really? You didn't want to propose in front of people? Mr. 'I can charm the hell out of a courtroom full of people' didn't want to –"

"Not when you look like this, and you make me feel like my heart is so full it wants to explode," Rafael said, a soppy smile on his lips. "I didn't want to share that moment with anyone else but you, Liv." He very gently slid a ring onto the ring finger of her left hand: it was an antique pillow-cut yellowed diamond solitaire in an ornate white gold setting, elegant and classy as hell, and something she never would have tried on for herself, but fell in love with the moment it was on her hand.

"My god, where did you find that?" she asked.

He laughed. "You really wanna know?"

"I know you did not just have that kicking around –"

"Nah, remember when Mami dragged me antiquing last year for vacation and I kept texting you complaining about how much I hate Pennsylvania?" he asked. "I found that at an estate sale in Lancaster county. They didn't know what they had; it was in a bag of costume jewelry that I bought for Mami." He shrugged and rocked on the balls of his feet, clearing his throat. "I… I still hate Pennsylvania."

"Oh, me, too," she laughed, pulling on his lapels and dragging him up close and personal for a passionate kiss. "But I love you. And now we are late, for real. We need to go, hot stuff – white tie was a good choice. I get to undress you, and isn't that just my luck?"

He waggled his eyebrows and said, "Ah, I'm the lucky one, mi amor…"

Arm in arm, they headed down to their waiting limo, happily laughing and murmuring to one another.

They almost never worked the room together at fundraisers or other galas, so it wasn't at all unusual for Rafael to head off toward the bar to schmooze the money while she headed off to look pretty for the cameras. The only difference this time was the quick kiss and squeeze of hands before they parted, and she smiled as he smirked and sauntered off, looking jaunty in his tails.

Her assistant whisked her away and began the endless cycle of introductions and smiling and talking and greeting and explanations of what they were going to do with the donations they were raking in for the night, and Liv's feet began to ache and her head began to hurt.

"Mi amor, drink, smile," Rafael said, bringing her a flute of champagne with a smirk, interrupting her conversation with a small gaggle of celebrities who were barely old enough to drink. "She's too serious sometimes, si?" he teased, giving her a light kiss on the cheek. He breathed in her ear, "Te amo."

"Thank you, Rafa," Liv replied, diving into her clutch for some Tylenol to stave off the headache. "This is OHOM's legal counsel, Rafael Barba – "

"If you need anything, Liv, I'll be with Rita at the bar," he commented softly.

The whirlwind of conversations continued until Liv found herself face-to-face with the Deputy Mayor, Colleen Gordon, and her husband. If she had ever not wanted to take someone's money, it was Elliot Stabler's. But she took a deep breath and tried to remain calm, plowing ahead with all the dignity she could muster, given the awkwardness of the situation.

"Olivia, it's… it's good to see you," Elliot said. "It's been what –"

"Five years," Liv said quickly, "but that doesn't matter. Congratulations to you both," she said, smiling. "I'm so glad you've found happiness."

Colleen laughed and said, "Ah, yes… I've heard about you. From Elliot and from 1PP. They said very clearly that pairing OHOM with the Mayor's office was in everyone's best interests and that your foundation was the best thing to ever come out of someone retiring from the NYPD."

Olivia looked at Elliot for a moment, and he looked away. "Ah, I'm not sure that's quite true, but I'd like to think that we hold our own and do good work," Liv said with a small smile. She launched into her talking points and tried to keep things light and cheerful, but every moment felt like an hour. She glanced over the Deputy Mayor's shoulder and caught sight of Rafael watching her from the bar with unabashed appreciation and took some comfort in that.

"So… what I'm hearing is that we need to fundamentally change the laws –"

"We do need to change the laws, but that's not the point of Open Heart, Open Minds," Olivia argued gently but firmly. "Our aim is to advocate, empower, assist, and educate. If the law needs to change in order to fulfill any of those briefs, that is why we have counsel on staff to petition the state and local governments on behalf of our clients."

"Mr. Barba, yes, I'm familiar."

Elliot flinched; Liv noticed his tell right away, almost smiled in feral glee. She fiddled with her engagement ring and paused for a moment before catching Rafael's eye and gesturing briefly for him to come to her side. It was like a moth to a flame: he was there within a breadth of seconds, mere inches from her, and she was grateful for his presence even though he didn't make a possessive move toward her.

"In fact, we're about to co-write legislation with Albany to assist in the cataloguing of the results of the rape kit database," Olivia said gently. "Mr. Barba just found out from Senator van Daukene this afternoon that they'll begin those meetings next week to iron out the language for the next session's bill. Isn't that right, Rafael?" She turned toward him and smiled encouragingly, feeling the discontent pouring off him in waves upon being thrust straight into a situation with Elliot and his wife.

When her normally chatterbox fiancé didn't respond, Liv reached over and took his hand, tangling their fingers together tightly. He took a deep breath and said, "Yes – yes. There are a couple of other provisions that we want to add to the bill but they're tied to the rape kit processing package and shouldn't affect the state senate's ability to vote on the bill and no one should attach riders to it." He squeezed her hand and grinned at her.

"You're very proud of yourself," Elliot said in a cold tone.

Rafael met his stare and smiled, just a little. "I'm proud of what we've accomplished here," he said. "What we continue to accomplish every day. I believe in what we're doing, Detective Stabler, and I am proud to follow Liv wherever she leads."

Liv said with a small smile, "Honestly, we're partners in every sense of the word."

There were good days and bad days, but now… in the here and now, this was all she ever wanted. To be equal with someone in a way that felt whole and true.

She lifted their joined hands to her lips, pressing a kiss to Rafael's knuckles. "Te amo, mi amor," she murmured, smiling.

"Te amo," he replied.

It was enough.

FINIS