A/N
Next stop: Heimdall, where a half-elf who's never had a mother will try to figure out how to deal with a traumatised three-year-old human while the only people she can ask for help are elves.
Chapters 1 and 2 underwent some drastic changes during the editing process – parts of them were originally told from Alice's perspective, but after I realised how hard it is to convincingly write a three-year-old, I gave most of her PoVs to other people and had Yuan take over the expositioning.
Likewise, the relationship between Rína and Yuan also changed – while he had been her mentor from the start, my initial dislike for him affected the way she treated him. Caradilis, who is a big fan of Yuan, floated the idea of Dad Yuan, and I liked it. Makes for interesting family dynamics. As a result, Yuan also got fleshed out more as a character. A side effect of that was that he has a conscience now – he doesn't like hurting other people, but will still do it whenever he deems it necessary – for the greater good.
After taking off, Elerína used the energy boost provided by the base to cross through a nearly undetectable fissure in the dimensions to travel to Tethe'alla. They appeared directly above Yuan's other base in the ice-lands of Flanoir. Alice woke with a start, as she hadn't been prepared for this sudden change in climate and temperature. Elerína accelerated and turned east. Soon, the ice-lands were far behind them.
Another continent appeared below them. Elerína pointed downwards.
"That is Meltokio, the capital of Tethe'alla and home to the king. The Pope of the Church of Martel as well as our Chosen reside here, too."
"Whoa, it's big."
"Tethe'alla is more prosperous than Sylvarant in general, but most importantly, there are no Desians here."
"No Desians? Everyone here must be very happy!"
I wish it were that easy.
Below them, they could see the forests that were the realm of the elves. Elerína headed straight for the village and alighted on the main plaza. Several elves who were nearby gathered around them.
"Elerína! Welcome back!"
"How was your trip?"
"What is it like in Sylvarant?"
"I'm afraid the heroic tales of my adventures will have to wait", Rína replied while untying the sling and carefully setting Alice down. "I have my hands rather full at the moment."
Surprised, the elves eyed Alice.
"A human child?"
"My sister. She's from Sylvarant."
"So she's Kratos' daughter, then?"
Even Elerína could notice the elves' dislike. Their hatred for Kratos was almost as strong as Elerína's.
And Alice can sense that. Brilliant.
Rína stowed her Rheaird away and started heading towards her house.
"They don't like me", Alice said quietly.
"They don't know you, that's all. But it'll pass... I should tell you a couple of things, though: you mustn't go into the forest by yourself, for you might get lost, attacked by monsters or fall into the river. And stay away from the streams in the village. Even if you can swim, you'll drown before someone can rescue you if you fall in."
Alice nodded to indicate she had understood.
"Very well. You can have this room, I'll be sleeping next door, in case you need anything. You must be tired... just rest. I'll have to go out and deal with a couple of things, but I won't be long. And you are safe here, so don't worry."
Kratos was sitting in the small, empty room Mithos had left him in, arms wrapped around his knees, staring gloomily at the wall. He was feeling absolutely dreadful. He had failed to protect his family, and now, they were all dead.
Dead... this is the second time I lose my family, this time three people at once... Anna and the twins – dead. What am I still doing here? What possible meaning could my continued existence still have?
"Origin... why couldn't I protect them?"
Kratos didn't get a reply, which angered him.
"Why won't you talk to me? Did I offend you as well?"
He could hear the door to the room open.
"Kratos. Are you feeling any better?"
"Mithos. What a stupid question. I just lost my family. I feel terrible."
"It wasn't your fault."
"That's right. It was yours."
Kratos shifted to look at his old friend. Mithos was slender, tall and had long golden hair and green eyes. Being the youngest of the three friends hadn't stopped him from seizing power.
He could have never done this without my help. He needs me alive – that is the only reason why he didn't kill me for betraying him.
"I never gave Kvar orders to use your wife for Exsphere production!", Mithos tried to explain. "Until you told me, I had no idea about that at all!"
"There was no need for you to chase us. Or did you consider us a threat to your empire?"
"No, you know perfectly well why I was against you leaving Cruxis. I need you..."
"I'm very well aware of that fact. Did you think I would kill myself to break the seal? Not back then. But now..."
"Kratos! If you do that, then - "
"Then what? What could you possibly do to me? I have nothing left to lose."
Mithos bit his lip. It was obvious that he had run out of good arguments.
"I know how you feel", he finally said, moving closer and crouching down in front of Kratos so they were at eye-level. "You've just suffered a terrible loss... However, Martel isn't lost yet – we can still save her. My sister... You would like to see her again, wouldn't you?"
Kratos bowed his head. "I'll help you – on one condition: as soon as she has been revived, you'll return Sylvarant and Tethe'alla to their original form."
Mithos nodded. "Agreed. I'm counting on you. By the way, your rooms in Vinheim have been prepared – you can move into the castle as soon as you're ready."
Kratos got to his feet without another word and made his way up to Derris Kharlan, the planet right above their heads, where Mithos' castle lay.
Rína put Alice to bed before leaving the house to do some shopping. She would be needing more food now that she had a younger sister to take care of, and Alice would also need lots of other things – new clothes, for example.
It was kind of fun, she decided, picking out things for her younger sister. Elerína would have never described herself as the "motherly" type, but the whole idea seemed very exciting.
As Rína approached her house, however, she heard something disturbing. Someone was sobbing hard, while another person was trying to comfort the former.
Alice. What happened?
Elerína broke into a run and stormed into her sister's room to find she was not alone. A boy with green hair and eyes was sitting on her bed, holding her in his arms. She recognised him as Aodhan, a young boy from the village. Despite the fact that he looked like a 13-year-old human, he was actually 39 – elves aged a lot slower than humans or half-elves, after all.
"Eldest!"
"Aodhan! What happened?"
With a couple of strides, she had crossed the room and placed a hand on Alice's head. The little girl was still crying.
"I was just passing by your house when I heard someone screaming. It sounded as if someone was in agony..." Aodhan gave Alice a pitying look. "So I went to take a look and found her. She seemed to be having a nightmare, but couldn't wake up on her own, so I woke her. That was 15 minutes ago... she hasn't stopped crying ever since. I can't calm her..."
Elerína could see that Alice wasn't in a state to talk, so she questioned the boy further.
"Do you know what she dreamt about?"
"Not really. She just shouted that she had to protect someone – I think she meant her family."
This must've been related to whatever happened in the Forest of Iselia... Poor Alice. She's too young to have to deal with all this awful stuff.
"Alice, I could make you a potion that would allow you to sleep without having nightmares. You have to sleep so you can recover. Do you want me to make you some?"
Alice nodded.
"Very well."
Rína went downstairs and into the living room, where she set some water to boil in the kettle. Aodhan followed, leading Alice by the hand. Elerína pulled a book from one of the shelves and opened it. It had been a while since she had last prepared this drought, and she didn't want to make any mistakes. Luckily, the recipe wasn't fancy, and she had all the ingredients she needed.
"So you have a brother?", Aodhan asked.
"Yes, Lloyd. Look..."
Alice pulled out a thin silver chain from underneath her clothes. A pendant shaped like a wing hung from it.
"What is that?", Rína asked curiously, moving closer.
Alice showed her the back of the pendant. A name had been etched into it – Sári.
"Dad made those for us. Lloyd got the other half."
"Is his silver, too?", Aodhan asked.
Alice shook her head. "It's golden. And it has my name on it."
Aodhan frowned. "But – your pendant doesn't have your brother's name on it. It says 'Sári'."
"Yes."
"Lloyd is Sári?"
"Mhm. I'm Silmea."
"Kratos probably wanted to underline the fact that twins are connected for a lifetime", Rína mused.
"Do the colours have any meaning?", Aodhan asked.
"Yes, dad said we were blessed by the moon and sun. I'm the moon and Lloyd's the sun."
"And your nicknames reflect that", Elerína observed.
"Silmea... I think it fits you!"
Aodhan grinned at Alice, who smiled weakly in return.
Smiling, Elerína turned away. The potion was finally ready, and she filled into a cup, which she handed to Alice.
"Eldest! There's no way she can drink that, it's still steaming!", Aodhan exclaimed. "She'll get burned!"
Rína made a large icicle grow from her fingertip and put it into the cup.
"I would have drunk it", she muttered.
"But Alice isn't an angel. Is she?", he added, looking at her.
Alice shook her head violently, that thought apparently seemed very absurd to her.
"This isn't genetic, Aodhan. Just because our father is an angel, this doesn't mean we're too."
"But you are one, Eldest."
"I became one. When I was still very young."
By now, the potion had cooled down enough for Alice to drink it. Soon afterwards, her eyelids started to flutter. Aodhan took the cup from her, Rína lifted her into her arms and took her to bed. Then she returned to Aodhan.
"Thank you for your help. But you should be going now – it's late."
The next morning, Aodhan tried to hang around outside Elerína's house in a manner that seemed inconspicuous. He knew that the Eldest herself was out, but she wasn't the one he was here to see – he was immensely curious about her younger sister.
Alice was the first human child he'd ever seen – the traders that sometimes came to the village were all adults or adolescents. They had never brought children along.
The elves didn't care to know much about humans in general, so Aodhan's knowledge on them was severely limited. The only thing he knew was that they were a very short-lived species.
Aodhan alternated between hiding in trees or taking casual walks around the house while praying that his mother, one of the village healers, wouldn't suddenly decide that she needed his help for something. He was on an important mission, after all.
After what seemed like ages, he could see the handle of the front door twist – it seemed that Alice was trying to get out, but had a hard time opening the door. When she finally made it outside – still wearing what appeared to be a nightgown – Aodhan dropped out of the tree he'd been hiding in. However, his grand entrance didn't have quite the intended effect, as Alice started at his sudden appearance.
"Whoops, sorry, I didn't mean to startle you", he said with an apologetic smile.
"Why were you in a tree?"
"I like climbing them. It's fun."
Alice tilted her head to the side. "Mum said I'm too little to do that."
"She's probably right. How old are you, anyway?"
"Three!"
"Three?"
She's so young...
"Yup. And you?"
"I'm 39."
Alice's eyes went big.
"Really? Are you one of those people who can't die?"
"Huh? Oh, no. Us elves do die, but we can live up to 1.000 years. And we age at a slower pace than you humans do."
"Weird."
"I guess so. Hey, are you feeling all right this morning? I was really worried about you last night."
Her reaction to that was astounding – her face morphed into the brightest smile he'd ever seen on her face so far.
"I'm great! Um – have you seen Lína?"
"Who?"
"My sister."
"Oh, no, not in a while. She left early in the morning. Wait, have you eaten anything yet? You must be hungry!"
"There was food."
"Oh, good. Otherwise, I could have made you something."
"Thanks. You're really nice."
"Um – thank you", Aodhan replied, feeling a little self-conscious.
Is this normal human behaviour?
"Do you want me to stay with you until Rína comes back? We could play something if you like."
"Play?"
"Uh, yeah. Do something you enjoy doing. What kind of things do you enjoy?"
"Eating. Stargazing. Playing with Noishe and Lloyd. Feeling safe."
Aodhan stared at her, mouth agape. This was not an answer he had expected. Apparently, Alice didn't know how to play. Aodhan wasn't sure he liked the implications of that.
"How about I teach you something new for you to enjoy, then? We could play 'I spy with my little eye'."
"Sure."
Aodhan quickly explained the rules to her, trying to keep it simple – she might not know all the things in this village, after all. Alice seemed to like the game.
Aodhan racked his brain, trying to come up with all sorts of fun, easy games to keep the little girl entertained. He was a bit surprised that she would so willingly spend time with a virtual stranger, but she seemed completely at ease around him.
"Aodhan!"
Surprised, the boy turned his head.
"Father! Did you have a good hunt?", he asked enthusiastically when he spotted the older elf.
Being one of the village hunters – a position Aodhan had his eye on as well – Aodhan's father often spent days on end in the forest, hunting game and decimating monsters.
"Yes, you could say that. Who is that?"
"Alice, Elerína's younger sister."
Aodhan's father frowned as he took her in. Alice got to her feet in response and started to shuffle sideways, as if to hide behind Aodhan. He shot her a questioning look, but she had her eyes fixed on his dad.
"Aodhan, go home. Now. You'll never talk to or meet with her again, do you understand?", his father ordered.
"What? Have you gone nuts, old man?", Aodhan asked, rising to his feet.
"You heard me! Get moving already! I won't allow you to spend time with the spawn of such a man!"
"Father!", Aodhan exclaimed in shock and anger. "Are you out of your mind? She's just a toddler, for crying out loud! And besides, you don't get to tell me what to do!"
"I am your father!", the older elf thundered.
With a terrified squeak, Alice grabbed onto one of Aodhan's legs, her whole body shaking. Her face was scrunched up as if she were in pain.
"I've had enough of you. Why don't you go back to the forest and take your frustration out on some monsters, eh? I wished you'd stayed gone!"
He stooped down and carefully pried Alice off his leg, lifted her into his arms and disappeared into the house, not sparing his father another glance. Alice was still shaking, her gaze empty and distant.
Aodhan gently rocked her in his arms and started humming a lullaby (he wasn't a great singer), hoping that it would calm her. He had seen his mother do this with his younger siblings, and it usually worked. Eventually, Alice calmed down somewhat and snuggled against his chest.
"I'm sorry about my father", Aodhan said quietly. "I never knew he could be such an idiot... but I'm not about to let him stop me. If you want me to, I'll continue to visit and play games with you."
"Mhm. You're nice. He isn't."
"All right. Then, starting from today, I'll be your new older brother!"
"Lloyd's younger 'n me."
"Oh, I see. Your only older brother, then."
"Thanks."
Elerína met with Yuan at the forest's edge, far from her house so that Alice wouldn't be able to overhear them. She had no idea what kind of news she was about to get and was unwilling to take any risks here.
"Thank you for coming so soon. I washed your cloak."
"Thank you. Well then, I have news, but most of it isn't good, I'm afraid. Which one would you like to hear first?"
"Let's just get the bad stuff out of the way", Rína replied, bracing herself for the worst.
"Anna is dead. Several individuals confirmed her death, Kvar, one of the Desian Grand Cardinals, among them. After I found out about his involvement in the matter, I questioned him personally to find out what exactly had been going on, you see. Your brother is unaccounted for and has been presumed dead."
Rína closed her eyes, feeling profound sorrow for her stepmother and half-brother's unfortunate fate.
"Tell me everything", she demanded at last.
"As you wish. Apparently, it all started when Kratos and Mithos had a falling-out about four years ago. Kratos left Cruxis and descended onto Sylvarant. Eventually, he met a woman called Anna Irving in Luin, and they fell in love. According to church records, they were even married – Kratos was very serious about their relationship."
"Let me guess: Yggdrassil didn't like the fact that Kratos had left him."
"Correct. He sent the Desians after them to capture them. Yggdrassil actually came to me to complain about Kvar – apparently, his orders had been to retrieve Kratos and his family, but not harm them. If Kvar weren't so damn useful to him, I'm sure he would have killed him for that blunder – though Kvar was, apparently, severely punished. However, this did little to improve your father's mood – he's locked himself in his rooms in Vinheim and refuses to come out. He almost killed a servant sent to check on him. Yggdrassil decided to check on him himself, though Kratos was, apparently, not happy to see him."
"Yeesh", Rína replied. "I didn't think Kratos could be so – well, I always got the impression that he is very much in control of everything, including his emotions."
"Indeed", Yuan replied. "It seems that grief has made his self-control slip.
"Finding Kratos became something of a competition between the Grand Cardinals – whoever caught him was sure to gain prestige. I'm not entirely sure how Kratos and Anna managed to evade capture for so long, especially with two little kids in tow. Based on what little information I have, it's safe to assume that the twins were born somewhere in the wilderness and spent their entire life on the run from the Desians.
"In the end, it was Kvar who was successful – to some extent. He managed to capture Anna and the twins, and took them to the Asgard Human Ranch, where he attached an Exsphere to Anna in front of her children."
"The bastard", Elerína growled. "Though I'd already suspected the part about the Exsphere."
"Hm. No one knows how, but the three of them managed to escape from the ranch and met up with Kratos, who had come after them. After that, Kvar trailed them all the way to the Forest of Iselia, where he caught up with them." A muscle in Yuan's face jumped. "This is not going to be pleasant", he warned.
"Tell me anyway."
"Kvar tried to get the Exsphere back. Kratos killed many Desians in an attempt to protect his family, but it was futile in the end. Kvar removed Anna's Exsphere and she transformed into a monster. In her rage, she killed every Desian within reach. Kvar barely got away but dropped the Exsphere. He couldn't tell me what precisely went down after that, as he was too far away, but – in the end, Kratos killed his wife."
Rína's face drained of all colour. "That's – are you sure this is true?"
"Kvar had no motive for lying to me", Yuan replied quietly. "And we interrogated his surviving men, too. All of them said the same thing. We have to assume it's the truth."
"How awful."
"I agree. Kvar and his men tried to capture Kratos and retrieve the Exsphere, but Kratos fought them off. It was Yggdrassil who brought Kratos back to Welgaia. Kvar's men searched the area, but could find no trace of Lloyd, Noishe, Alice or the Exsphere. As a result, Alice was declared deceased as well."
Elerína wrapped her arms around herself, stricken. She had braced herself for the possibility that Anna might not survive, but this – this was far worse than anything she had expected.
"How do I tell her?", she asked at last. "How do I tell Alice that her father killed her mother?!"
"I do not know", Yuan replied quietly. "Though I would advise that you wait until she's older. The events at the ranch and in the forest must have traumatised her. If you add to that, it might break her."
"Should I keep her?"
"That would be for the best. And keep her hidden from Cruxis. Who knows, Yggdrassil might decide to kill her..."
"All right, then. I'll do my best to give her a good life."
"Does that mean I'm a grandfather now?", Yuan asked with a slight grin.
"That's not how this works", Rína replied, nudging his shoulder. "She's my sister. If anything, you got another daughter."
"Oh, joy."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Do you remember what you were like during puberty?"
"A minor nightmare?"
"Make that a major one."
Rína snorted. "Admit it, you still love me. That reminds me – you said that you also had some good news."
"Indeed. The men who went to Luin also tried to find Anna's family – and found out that her father is alive and well. His name is Larkin Irving, and he is – as suspected – a half-elf. My men were unable to find out if news of his daughter's death had already reached him at that point."
"I see. Well, it is good to know that Alice has at least some family left. That might offer her some comfort."
"Hm... I'm sorry I couldn't be the bearer of better news. I know this isn't going to make up for this, but – I want her to have this when she is older."
Yuan opened his wing-pack and took out a Rheaird.
"Thanks, Yuan. I'll be sure to give it to her."
Unfortunately, Elerína soon had to find out that even the most well-laid plans were not fool-proof. She had opted to not tell Alice anything about her mother yet, wanting to give her the chance to work through the other stuff first. The nightmares, it seemed, were here to stay – but Rína was hesitant to give Alice too much of the sleeping potion, fearing she might become addicted at this rate. Instead, she tried to offer what comfort she could give her sister.
Elerína hadn't been pleased when she'd heard about the altercation between Aodhan and his father. However, she approved of Aodhan's decision to simply go behind his father's back and come visit Alice whenever he wasn't looking. Rína couldn't deny the fact that Aodhan was probably a lot more qualified to take care of a toddler than she was.
In the morning, Elerína took Alice to see one of the village artisans so that he could have a look at Anna's ring. Rína kept to herself that she now knew how exactly the ring had been ripped apart. A good thing too, for the joy on Alice's face when she received the replica had been immense. The smith had worked a spell into the metal that allowed the ring to change size.
"Here you go, little one."
"Thanks! Mum will be so happy."
"Then you'd better take good care of the ring."
"Yup!"
Rína felt like someone had pierced her heart. She just about managed not to show a reaction and thankfully, the artisan didn't seem to notice that there was something wrong.
Anna is dead. Alice can't give her the ring back – she just doesn't know it yet.
Alice turned around and gave Elerína a questioning look.
"Are you hurt?"
Rína stared at her for a heartbeat, not understanding why Alice would say such a thing – before she remembered with a jolt that her sister was an empath. She must have picked up on her shift in emotions just now.
"Oh, no, it's nothing", she replied, crouching down in front of the girl. "Want to show me the ring?"
Alice held out her hand, and Elerína inspected the ring.
"It's a very pretty ring. You can wear it, you know. It'll fit you."
"Really?"
"Mhm."
"How?"
"Magic. The nice man over there made it so it can fit anyone."
Alice looked doubtful, but tried the ring on nonetheless. Her eyes went as wide as saucers when it shrunk in size. Rína chuckled.
Alice and Aodhan had left to explore the village. Alice was an inquisitive child who would constantly ask questions. The two of them got along like a house on fire, and Rína was happy Alice had made a friend.
Humming softly to herself, Rína sorted through the pile of fabrics she had acquired, trying to pick out colours that would work well together and suit Alice. She was using the threadbare dress Alice had worn on arrival as a sample. She had never made clothing for anyone but herself, but had to admit it was kind of fun.
However, the idyllic moment was shattered when she heard the sound of running footsteps. Alice came racing towards her, her face pale. She stumbled and fell down, but got back up almost immediately and continued her mad sprint. Alarmed, Rína dropped everything and rose to her feet.
"Where's Aodhan?", she demanded to know.
However, Alice didn't have to answer that, as Aodhan came racing after her, followed by a small gaggle of elves. Their expressions ranged from furious (in Aodhan's case) to different kinds of worry.
"They said that dad killed mum!", Alice cried, launching herself at Elerína and clinging to her legs. "They're liars! Liars! Dad would never do that!"
Horrified, Rína stared down at her sister, before fixing the adults with an icy stare.
"Aodhan, explain what happened", she demanded, not taking her eyes off the offenders.
"I was showing Alice around the village earlier. We happened about these people having a chat in front of a house completely by accident. By the time I realised who they were talking about, it was already too late. I'm sorry, Eldest."
"You don't have to apologise", Rína replied darkly. "But you lot! What were you thinking, just casually discussing matters like that in public? Anyone could have heard!"
"Y-yes, quite, but we didn't think that your sister would be nearby!"
"Oh, so you expected her to just stay put at all times, is that it?", Elerína growled while awkwardly patting Alice's head.
The little girl had hidden her face in the skirt of Rína's dress and appeared to be crying.
"We're sorry, truly", one of the men said. "I overheard you talking with Lord Yuan, and I had to share it with someone..."
"Well, next time, do that in a location that's safe from potential eavesdroppers! You're adults, for crying out loud! Think before you act! And now get lost, while I try to salvage the situation."
She crouched down next to Alice, who looked up at her, a mixture of despair and hope in her eyes.
"It's a lie", Alice whispered. "It's a lie..."
The half-elf was at a loss. She didn't know if she would be able to convincingly lie to an empath – Alice had proven several times already that she was extremely perceptive. She might not always understand what was going on, but there was a chance that she could detect lies.
And even if she couldn't – if Elerína chose to actively lie to her (instead of hiding part of the truth, as she'd originally planned) she would also have to tell Alice the truth one day. And she well remembered how badly she had handled being lied to by people she had trusted.
No matter how she decided to proceed, the result would be bad. If Rína could convince her of the lie, Alice would suffer in the future. If she told her the truth now, Alice would suffer now. Either way, suffering was inevitable.
"Alice", Rína said softly, taking hold of her sister's shoulders. "Yuan came to see me the other day. You remember him, don't you?"
A nod.
"He's had his men look for your mum." Elerína bit her lip, not sure how much she should actually reveal. "There are several people who saw how your dad killed your mum. I'm sorry. We have no reason to doubt our sources."
Rína could pinpoint the moment Alice's heart shattered. She let out a wail and collapsed into a heap, shaking and crying. She no longer dismissed the news as lies – she seemed to have accepted it as the truth, instead.
When she hadn't stopped crying after a while, Rína sent Aodhan home and gathered Alice into her arms. She took the girl to her room, hoping that things would get better if she rested. She didn't know what else to do.
Unfortunately, Alice's despair soon made her ill. She refused to eat, drink or get up. Elerína forced her to drink some broth. Alice tried to fight her off the first couple of times, but Rína was relentless – she was determined not to lose her little sister.
During the night, Alice would cry for Anna and Kratos until her voice was hoarse, hoping in vain for a reply. She was about to drown in her own despair. Not even Aodhan, who had sneaked into her room despite his father's prohibition, could comfort her.
However, Aodhan did come up with another idea – he sent his mother, Ayleen, over, hoping that she might be able to help.
Unfortunately, Alyeen's prognosis was rather grim.
"It appears to be a severe sickness of the mind. She rejects the reality she's faced with because she can't comprehend it. And, if we can't get through to her, I fear she will just give up and die."
"Then – what can we do?"
"I don't know. I'm sorry, I wish I could be of more help."
Ayleen gently caressed Alice's russet locks, humming a lullaby, however, her actions didn't seem to give Alice any comfort. She just stayed as she had the last couple of day, staring blankly at the ceiling.
Eventually, Alice had no tears left to cry. All that was left was a hollow emptiness, a void threatening to consume her. Part of her registered Ayleen and Elerína's attempts to help her, but she was too tired to care.
Exhausted beyond compare, Alice closed her eyes, wishing she could just rest. When she opened them again, she noted with a jolt that she was standing next to her bed, looking down upon her own body. When she held up her hands to inspect them, she noticed that they were translucent. Her entire body – if you could call it "body" – radiated light.
What happened? This is weird.
A blue light started to glow right in front of her. It grew until it had formed a disk. When it suddenly turned transparent, Alice realised it was a gate. And beyond – lay another world.
"Alice!"
"Mum?"
"Yes, darling. Come to me... follow my voice."
Without any hesitation or fear, Alice crossed through the portal.
"Mum!"
Alice rushed forward, and her mother caught her in a loving embrace.
"My little Silmea... I'm so sorry..."
"Mum. Where are we? Still in Heimdall?"
"Yes and no. We're still in your room, but on a completely different plane of existence. This is the Land of the Dead."
Alice freed herself from Anna's grip and looked around. Everything was bathed in a strange blueish-white light.
"Am I dead?"
"Yes – well, actually no – I don't know for sure..."
Anna looked at a point behind Alice, silently asking someone for help. Alice turned around to come face to face an elf who strongly resembled Elerína.
"Who are you?"
The elf smiled. "I am Rosemary, Rína's mother. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
"But what happened to me?"
"You are an Astral Link, someone who can travel between the worlds of the living and the dead. Your body is dead right now because your soul is here."
"I don't understand."
"Alice." Anna crouched down in front of her and took hold of her shoulders. "Elerína is all the family you have left. Stay with her, she'll look after you. Rose and I will watch over you."
"What about dad?"
"It is just as Rína told you", Rosemary said quietly. "Yggdrassil would kill you, should you come to Welgaia. To him, you would only be a hindrance."
"Sounds like he's a real pest."
"Well, I would have never called his character or company enjoyable", she replied with a grimace.
"Alice, you have to stay away from Cruxis, from Yggdrassil. He's the leader of the Desians, and very dangerous. He's the one who's been hunting us."
"B-but – I want to see Dad!"
"I know this is hard for you, but you have to stay strong – stay safe. Elerína will be able to protect you."
"Mum, people say that Dad killed you. Is that – is that true?"
Please say it isn't...
"Alice, what Elerína told you was the truth, but not the whole truth. If you like, I could transfer my last memory to you, that way you would be able to sense our emotions as well. It would help you to understand... But I must warn you: it will be very painful."
"I don't care. I wanna to know – I gotta to know what happened!"
"Very well. Give me your hands and close your eyes."
As Alice did as her mother asked, the world was swallowed by utter blackness. Moments later, she was back in the Forest of Iselia.
Alice opened her eyes and gasped for air like someone who had just been saved from drowning.
"Dad is not a bad person...", she whispered. "Dad is not a bad person!"
Saying it out loud repeatedly gave her new strength.
I'm going to live. And someday, I'll make Kvar pay for what he did to my parents!
Alice tried calling for Elerína, but her voice was gone, her throat too sore. And she was already too weak to get up on her own. Using the last bit of her strength, she gathered mana and used it to knock her cup off the bedside table. It didn't take long for her sister to arrive.
"Alice! What happened?"
She crouched down next to the bed and put a hand on Alice's forehead.
"Water. Please", Alice croaked.
"Of course."
Rína picked up the cup and made water sprout from her fingertips. She helped Alice sit up and held the cup to her lips so she could take tiny sips.
"Easy there. You can't drink too quickly, it's dangerous."
Once she had finished the cup, Alice fell back into the cushions, exhausted.
"Rest now, I'll go fetch Ayleen. I'm not entirely sure how to do any of this, you know."
"'s all right."
Alice drifted in and out of consciousness but woke again when Ayleen arrived.
"She's very weak", the elf observed. "We'll have to carefully nurse her back to health. I'll write you a list of the things she can eat for now. Don't give her anything not on the list, no matter how much she begs, for the wrong kind of food might kill her. And feel free to come to me any time if you should have questions. I've raised some little girls myself, after all."
"Thank you, Ayleen. You're a star."
Slowly, Alice started regaining her strength. The little girl was incredibly disciplined and accepted whatever food she got without complaint. Rína gave her mostly herbal teas sweetened with honey to heal her sore throat, and Alice soon regained the use of her voice.
Ayleen had given Rína lots of useful advice on childrearing, and had also searched her books for anything related to traumata. Despite the fact that Alice had regained the will to live, it was clear that she had a long road ahead of her. Her nightmares were a good indicator of that.
One of the first things Elerína had done after Alice was strong enough to leave the bed was to provide her with paper and coloured pencils. The little girl had never drawn anything before, so Rína showed her how to do to it. Once Alice had gotten the hang of it, she soon started drawing people, always the same four. Two adults and two children. Elerína figured they were supposed to be Alice with her family.
One day, Alice suddenly added another adult with white-blonde hair, and a few days later, another one. This confused Rína a lot – she assumed that the first one had to be her, but who on Tethe'alla was the other one? Alice didn't know anyone from Rína's side of the family, after all, they had all died a long time ago.
Elerína was a bit surprised when Alice suddenly dropped the pencil she'd been holding, her newest picture only halfway finished, and slid down from the bench. However, she'd only made it a couple of steps before she dropped to the ground – like a puppet whose strings had been cut.
With an alarmed cry, Rína shot up and hurried around the table. Alice was lying sprawled on the floor, eyes closed. Elerína couldn't hear her heartbeat, and she didn't appear to be breathing, either. When she checked for a pulse, she found none.
Her face pale, Rína went through a mental list of all manners of first aid techniques that might help her – however, the biggest problem was that she had absolutely no idea what had happened. People didn't just drop dead without warning, and Alice had previously not displayed any sings that there was something wrong with her.
Elerína was just considering calling for help when Alice's body started glowing. Rína jerked back and watched with a mixture of fascination and horror as Alice's soul manifested in front of her.
"Mum is calling me", Alice said, her voice sounding like it was coming from far away. "I'll be back soon."
Behind her, a fissure appeared in the air. It kept widening from a single spot into all directions until it had formed a large disc with a diameter of about two meters. Alice didn't seem phased by what was happening, instead, she was watching Rína, as though she was worried about her reaction. Behind her, the disc turned transparent, and Elerína gasped in surprise when she realised that she was looking at a gateway.
There were people on the other side. With a jolt, Rína recognised Anna, who was standing next to an elf with pale-blonde hair. Alice gave Elerína an encouraging smile, turned away and headed through the portal, throwing herself into her mother's waiting arms. The elf regarded them with a smile, before fixing her gaze on Rína.
"M-mother?"
The elf's smile turned radiant. She said something, but Elerína couldn't hear her.
She rose to her feet, blood pounding in her ears. Since she couldn't really do anything about Alice's situation right now, she turned away and started searching the bookshelves for anything that might explain what the hell had just happened. Courtesy of Yuan, she had gotten her hands on some rare tomes from Vinheim – Yuan had borrowed them and, since no one seemed to miss them, never returned them.
Rína started leafing through index after index, looking for anything related to souls, spirits, gateways and the dead. Eventually, she found a promising lead and opened a page describing something called an "Astral Link". It seemed to be detailing the same phenomenon Rína had just witnessed – apparently, an Astral Link was someone who could bridge the gap between the worlds of the living and the dead.
Elerína had heard of such people before, but they were so incredibly rare, she'd never met anyone who possessed this ability in her entire life – until now.
She must've been over there before. She wasn't at all surprised when the portal appeared. And, well, if she's been to the Land of the Dead before, it would explain why my mother suddenly appeared in her drawings.
Elerína re-read the passage and tried to commit it to memory. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that the portal was closing – and Alice was currently merging with her body. With a gasp, the little girl shot up from the ground, and looked around in a slightly disoriented manner.
Rína got up and helped her to her feet.
"Are you all right? You gave me quite the scare."
"Yes, I'm fine. Sorry. Mum was calling, and I can't stop this from happening."
"You can't control this power?"
"No. Rose says it's not safe, so they call me from time to time."
"How long has this been happening?"
"It started when I was sick. I – I got Mum's memory. I know how she died."
"Do you – want to talk about it?"
"No. It hurts. But it wasn't dad's fault. He's not a bad person."
"I see."
"I got a message for you, from Rose."
"Oh? What is it?"
"I love you."
Rína froze, her throat suddenly too tight to speak. Tears were pricking at the corners of her eyes, and she couldn't even remember the last time she'd cried.
Alice patted her hand, and Elerína wiped her eyes, giving her sister a grateful smile.
"I just found an entry in a book about people like you", she said. "You're an Astral Link. The first one I've ever met. I suggest we keep this quiet. Are they listening?"
"I guess so."
"All right. Mother, stepmother, please do us a favour and don't summon Alice where people could see. We don't want a ton of people knocking on our door because they want her to pass on messages to their loved ones."
"Can I tell Aodhan?"
"I'll handle that. You don't tell anyone about this, understand?"
"Yes."
"Good."
Elerína placed a bookmark on the page, just in case, and started re-shelving the books.
"Um – Lína?"
"What is it?"
"Mum said that I should stay here. Can I stay? Please?"
Slotting the last book back into place a little more forcefully that she would have needed, Elerína spun around and crossed the room to crouch down in front of Alice.
"Of course you can stay. I'd already prepared myself to the best of my ability so that I would be able to provide you with everything you will need. I know I can't replace your parents or your brother, but I will do my best to ensure you have a good life here."
Alice beamed at her before her face morphed into a frown.
"What is it?"
"Lína, are you strong?"
"I suppose so. Strength comes in different forms, though. Not everyone is strong the same way."
"Can you teach me how to fight?"
"Why?"
Alice's face darkened. "A bad man hurt my mum. I want to hurt him back."
"Kvar?"
"Yes. It's his fault Mum had to die. I'll make him pay!"
"Alice, listen to me. Revenge is not a goal worth living for. If you use that as your motivation to become stronger, you might lose sight of who you are – become a monster yourself."
Alice's eyes widened in horror, and Rína instantly regretted her poor choice of words.
"R-really?"
"It has happened many times before. I understand your desire for revenge, but you can't let it overshadow your entire life. Isn't there anything else that drives you? Another reason to become stronger?"
Alice frowned thoughtfully, pondering Elerína's words.
"I want to protect", she finally said. "I don't want anyone else to get hurt – like Mum."
"Very well. If that is how you feel, I'll teach you everything I know – and that is a lot." Rína smiled grimly. "I'll make you into a warrior feared by her enemies. Someone strong enough to protect others, and maybe even change the world."
A/N:
Meet Aodhan. Aodhan is best boy.
Also, Kratos has the second-highest number of PoVs in this story – though I actually expected him to come in first place.
A short while ago, The Popculture Detective posted a video called "Boys don't cry", in which he highlights instances in which Western media deems it okay for men to cry (spoiler alert: it's a short list). He also said that not being able to grieve will result in those emotions turning into violence - violence against others or violence against oneself, usually in the form of depression or self-harm. Kratos is currently displaying signs of both, though he'll favour the self-destructive approach later on.
The reason Kratos refuses to cry has nothing to do with him trying to adhere to some warped ideal of masculinity, however - Kratos is punishing himself by keeping himself from grieving, healing, believing he has no right to do so. Another reason he refuses to cry is that he can't expect any sympathy from the people around them, and is trying not to show just how broken he is right now.
Kratos needs hugs. Lots of them.
Glossary:
Silmea – "of the moon" (Early Quenya)
Sári – "sun" (Early Quenya)
"Aodhan" is pronounced the same as "Aidan".
A note on language: Whenever I write a story set in a different time/universe, I take care not to use words that are tied to our world/time if I can help it at all. One of them being the word "okay" – what seems like a pretty standard English word (it's even used as loan word in German) is actually a relatively recent addition – O.K. was a candidate in a U.S. presidential election. His initials became a catchphrase, and later became a synonym to "all right".
The phrase "to fire a weapon" was coined in the early 1500s, after the invention of firearms and originally only referred to those. However, it was later also applied to all weapons shooting projectiles, be they siege engines or bows. Naturally, this only makes sense if weapons powered with gunpowder were previously invented. While I can't rule out that Sylvarant or Tethe'alla ever developed firearms (I assume the people of Mizuho use gunpowder, though not for weapons), the elves wouldn't have any need for them – and whenever we do see guns/cannons in this universe, they're powered with magi-technology. As a result, none of my archers will be "firing" arrows.
I have a gallery on my DeviantArt account that contains illustrations for this story - do be careful with the descriptions, though, some of them contain spoilers. The family tree is only safe for you to look at after chapter 26 (I moved it to the back of the gallery).
Girlfriend Commentary
WARNING: This one contains actual spoilers for this story.
Even Elerína could notice the elves' dislike. Their hatred for Kratos was almost as strong as Elerína's. (Yet undoubtedly unrivalled by Kratos' hatred for himself… Poor Kratos, everyone hates him, when all he really needs is a big hug…)
I'll have to go out and deal with a couple of things,(that couple things being my dad, our dad and our crazy delusional uncle who's to blame for this whole mess) but I won't be long.
Kratos was feeling absolutely dreadful.(weeeell, no shit)
"Kratos. Are you feeling any better?"(Of course he isn't you colossal airhead!)
"It wasn't your fault."(That's very comforting coming from the person who DEFINITELY IS TO BLAME HERE!)
"That's right. It was yours." (INDEED)
Being the youngest of the three friends hadn't stopped him from seizing power.(The youngest and the most out of his fucking mind)
"I never gave Kvar orders to use your wife for Exsphere production!", Mithos tried to explain. "Until you told me, I had no idea about that at all!" (It's always great when the boss has no clue what his underlings are doing…)
"Kratos! If you do that, then - "(Dude, you lost all three of your bargaining chips, whatcha gonna do? Make him even more depressed than he currently is? Because we're already barrelled through rockbottom, past the depths of hell, through the planet core and out the other side, and are currently heading straight for the center of the sun of "sad"… I think we're waaaay past you making realistic threats…)
Mithos bit his lip. It was obvious that he had run out of good arguments. (Well, no shit. I mean, yeah, he didn't have any good arguments to defend himself with from the beginning.)
"I know how you feel", (Do you? DO YOU?! I FUCKING DOUBT THAT!) he finally said, moving closer and crouching down in front of Kratos so they were at eye-level. "However, Martel isn't lost yet (Argh, here we go… Can't you even muster an ounce of genuine pity, without immediately having to make this about you?! I FUCKING HAAAAAATE YOU, YOU SELFISH ASSHOLE!)
It was kind of fun, she decided, picking out things for her younger sister. Elerína would have never described herself as the "motherly" type, but the whole idea seemed very exciting. (Aww)
"This isn't genetic, Aodhan. Just because our father is an angel this doesn't mean we're too." "But you are one, Eldest." (Lol, he has a point)
The next morning, Aodhan tried to hang around outside Elerína's house in a manner that seemed inconspicuous. (lol, and he is going to fail miiiiserably, isn't he?)
The elves didn't care to know much about humans in general, so Aodhan's knowledge on them was severely limited. (a.k.a. "It's not stalking. This is for science!")
He was on an important mission, after all. (lol, yeah, the utterly important mission of stalking your future girlfriend)
Aodhan dropped out of the tree he'd been hiding in. (all I can see here is Draco dramatically hopping out of that tree in GoF when he's trying to impress *cough* I mean bully Harry…)
However, his grand entrance didn't have quite the intended effect, (omg, could he be acting any more like a teenage boy?)as Alice started at his sudden appearance.
"Why were you in a tree?"(lol, he was totally not stalking you.)
"I like climbing trees. It's fun."(yeah, climbing, fun, totally had nothing to do with any stalking whatsoever)
"Really? Are you one of those people who can't die?"(lol)
Her reaction to that was astounding – her face morphed into the brightest smile he'd ever seen on her face so far. (I mean, tbf, has he seen her genuinely smile ever before? She's been mostly heartbroken, depressed and disoriented so far)
"Eating. Stargazing. Playing with Noishe and Lloyd. Feeling safe."(aww, poor precious)
Alice got to her feet in response and started to shuffle sideways, as if to hide behind Aodhan. (aww!)
"You'll never talk to or meet with her again, do you understand?", his father ordered.(lol, obvious evidence that Aodhan's father has never read ANY YA romance novels ever… or Romeo&Juliet, or Pyramus&Thisbe, or Hero&Leander… I could go on, but like since when has that line EVER worked on a pubescent teenager?)
"I won't allow you to spend time with the spawn of such a man!"(yeah, good job, have this explosive outburst in front of the poor child, why don't you?!)
"And besides, you don't get to tell me what to do!" (lol, Aodhan hitting peak-puberty right there I'm almost disappointed he didn't go "I wish you were dead" or sth)
"I wished you'd stayed gone!"(oh shit, although, definitely an appropriate teenager response)
Eventually, Alice calmed down somewhat and snuggled against his chest. (aww, cuddles!)
"All right. Then, starting from today, I'll be your new older brother!" (lol, let's see how that goes for you, shall we?)
"If Kvar weren't so damn useful to him, I'm sure he would have killed him for that blunder – though Kvar was, apparently, severely punished. (Is he still walking, breathing and stringing together words? Because if yes, he clearly wasn't punished enough!) However, this did little to improve your father's mood (Well, duh, of course not! Or did Kvar's punishment mysteriously bring Anna back from the dead?!)
He managed to capture Anna and the twins, and took them to the Asgard Human Ranch, where he attached an Exsphere to Anna in front of her children."(oh, great.)
Yggdrassil decided to check on him himself, though Kratos was, apparently, not happy to see him." (Apparently?! No shit he wasn't happy! He's got all the reason to be extremely fucking mad right now!)
"The bastard" (bastard is an understatement, how does "blight on the universe" sound? Ah, never mind, sounds too educated for that piece of buttered toast that landed face down on the floor of a rundown house that hasn't been swept in centuries)
"Does that mean I'm a grandfather now?", Yuan asked with a slight grin. (lol!)
"She's my sister. If anything, you got another daughter."(lol)
"Oh, joy."(omg, sarcastic Yuan is always the best!)
"A minor nightmare?" (lol, guessing that's an understatement)
"Make that a major one." (yeah, lol, definitely an understatement, thanks for the confirmation)
"Admit it, you still love me.(awww)
However, she approved of Aodhan's decision to simply go behind his father's back and come visit Alice whenever he wasn't looking.(yay)
"Dad would never do that!" (well, he wouldn't given literally ANY other choice… I'm honestly surprised – and disappointed – nobody has realised this…)
"Y-yes, quite, but we didn't think that your sister would be nearby!"(yes, you didn't think! What do you idiots think brains are for?!)
"We're sorry, truly", one of the men said. "I overheard you talking with Lord Yuan, and I had to share it with someone..."(WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!)