All familiar characters belong to Janet. Mistakes and Lylo are mine. I'll add a trigger warning to this particular chapter. Even if you don't have a Steph, Ranger, or Lester ... help is still available, you just have to ask for it.
Chapter 3
"Community service, what a load of crap," Lylo muttered, not completely under her breath.
"Ranger's company provides a service for the community, so it's actually not a load of crap. Sure, the gym can have an 'interesting' aroma after a day full of workouts, and potato chips are banned, but still … working here is a better punishment than sitting in a jail cell for repossessing your own possessions."
"Sure, you can say that. You're sleeping with the guy who owns the company."
I nodded. "Yep, my perks are literally the best out there. But seriously, you'll have fun here."
"Excuse me for not believing that, since I'm being forced to be here."
"Consider yourself lucky. My friend Lula has been trying to earn an invitation, and also plotting a way to break in if that never happens, just so she can take in the scenery."
She stopped and took stock of the control room alongside me.
"Does your boyfriend-Boss stand outside MMA matches to recruit men?" She asked.
"Nope. The people who belong here just seem to show up unless Ranger purposely issues an invite."
I gave her a pointed look, since she has ended up here forced or not. I know she belongs at Rangeman, but she's determined to ignore all the signs saying we were brought together for a reason. Unfortunately, Lester chose that moment to walk into the control room and will likely chip away at every reason I've given her to give us a chance.
"Well, my day has just improved," he said to us. "Seeing two beautiful women without even needing to leave the building."
"Way to make Louis kick your butt, Santos, for not including Ella in your count," I reminded him.
"I just saw Ella in the hall. She knows I love her."
I felt Lylo's eyes on me, so I explained. "Ella takes care of the food for, and appearance and function of, the building. Her husband Louis makes sure the actual physical parts of Rangeman stay in one piece. When you hit the kitchen, you'll see Ella's handiwork. Ranger keeps things healthy, but Ella makes it edible."
"So she cooks?" Lylo asked.
"Among four-thousand other things. If you need a new mom, she's the goal. I have adoption papers at the ready, but she won't sign them and make our mother/daughter relationship legal. Maybe you'll have better luck."
"That's probably out of self-preservation, Steph, because Ranger's Mama has already called dibs on you," Lester added.
I smiled hearing that. I can't help the warm feeling Mrs. Manoso produces in me.
"You've been avoiding me," he told Lylo.
"Yeah, by choice and by law. In case you forgot, I was a wanted woman."
"Still are," he teased. "And I know you didn't get any jail time. You were let go because Ranger vouched for you. Nobody challenges his decisions."
She shrugged. "Guess that means I was just avoiding you then."
"Why? We had a moment …"
"That's right. A MOMENT. I was exhausted and really stressed. Sorry you had to witness that."
His flirt was back on. "I'm not. I can't say I didn't enjoy holding you. In case you didn't notice, you fit perfectly against my body."
"Look, Muscle Man, give it up. Thank you for letting me use your shirt as a tissue, but this isn't happening …"
"What isn't?" Lester asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking thoroughly amused at her declaration.
"You and me. It won't work."
"I guarantee we'll work just fine if you'd stop fighting it. You want me. We both know it."
My eye roll matched Lylo's.
"I would say 'I hate to break this to you', but clearly you need to hear a rejection or two. I have other things on my mind than you right now."
"Oh yeah? Like what? Give me a few examples."
Lylo suddenly crossing her arms definitely means she isn't amused. AT ALL. I was tempted to step in, but she sensed that and held up a hand to stop me from stopping Lester.
"How about I give you a play-by-play of how our date would go instead?"
"So you have been thinking about me," he stated, not asked.
His victory was short-lived.
"No, this is just what happens anytime I go anywhere with or without someone."
Now I did step in. Having gotten to know her a little better, I know that what she's about to say will be hard for everyone to hear, especially Lester. He's a born protector and learning that he has no power to save her is going to hit him hard. Plus, I hate thinking of someone as good and as sweet as Lylo describing ways she's punishing herself.
"You don't have to do this," I told her. "Well just find something else to do today that's away from the building if Lester's bugging you. Don't hurt yourself more just to prove a point to him."
"I'm not 'bugging' her," Lester whined. "I'm trying to help."
I put a hand on his forearm and squeezed. "I know you are. But Lylo and her situation may not be anything like me and mine. A good guy being a good friend might not lead where it did for me and Ranger."
"I don't need you to speak for me, Stephanie. I can take care of myself," she told me.
I raised an eyebrow at her. "No, we both know you can't take care of you. But you'll be able to soon with a little backup from our medical and personal teams."
"Which is what I'm providing," Lester pointed out.
"Yeah, that's what he's providing," Lylo repeated, eyes trained on me.
I threw up my hands in defeat. "Fine. I'll just stand here and quietly watch you rip each other's feelings out."
"Thank you," she replied. "Okay, here's how our date would go … would you be picking me up?"
"Hell yeah, I'd be picking you up. I'm a gentleman."
I slapped my hand across my mouth before it could say something without my permission.
"Alright," she continued. "So ten minutes before you're set to pick me up, I would've finally worked up enough energy to take a shower that I'd likely need since it sometimes takes me a few days just to get out of bed. So when you come to the door, you'll find my hair soaking wet, my face lacking makeup, and my clothes are going to be the first ones I grabbed. How they fit will depend solely on if I'd spent the week eating too much in an attempt to fill an emptiness that never completely goes away or eating nothing because nothing else matters except for getting to sleep more."
"So? You're naturally beautiful. You don't need to be made up. Ninety-nine percent of the time I'm wearing this uniform," he said, pulling at his T-shirt collar, "though they are usually clean. And Steph claims I stink when I leave the gym, so you'll smell better than me even if you don't shower for a week."
She sighed and I completely understood why. I was replaying every time I tried telling my Mom or Joe how tired or sick of my life I was, and they'd just give me some two-bit 'cheer up' lecture or 'just get over it' order. If only it was that easy … tell myself to be happy and magically I would be. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. At least it doesn't for people like me and Lylo.
Without thinking, I reached out and put my hand on her shoulder, wanting her to know that she isn't alone now or in how she's been feeling. She glanced back at me but didn't say anything or take a step away so my hand would be forced to drop. I took that as a sign that I'm making progress with her.
"Thank you for minimizing how hard it was for me to share that … and how draining it is to live it almost everyday," she said to Lester, and I shivered at the iciness of her tone. "How about I stop trying to soften the blow and just give you a day in the life of me?"
She didn't give him a chance to answer or apologize, and if I weren't busy internally sobbing for her, I'd be feeling sorry for Lester.
"So you'd still pick me up after hearing all that?"
"Yes," Lester said.
I can clearly see how apprehensive he is now. He walked himself right into a trap, and he's worried about how damaged he'll be by the time he gets out of it.
"Okay, so there I am in the mismatched clothes I don't give two shits about, my hair leaving wet patches on my T-shirt as I stomp towards your SUV …"
"Truck," he corrected. "The SUV is a fleet vehicle I use for work."
"Way to pick the least important thing to focus on, Santos," Ranger told him, moving to stand behind me, curling his arms around my waist and tugging me flush to the front of him.
I don't doubt someone's camera clued him in that I needed him out here. Lylo may not be able to accept a support person in her life, but I'm not ashamed of how much I've come to rely on having Ranger as mine.
Lylo acted like she didn't hear their exchange. Maybe she got lost in her own head and really didn't hear anything over the negative voices screaming in there.
"On my way to your truck," she continued, showing she had been listening after all, "my eyes will cut to the street to see if maybe there's a car speeding down it. If there is, I'll freeze for a second and debate whether or not I'd have enough time to jump in front of it before you try to stop me. Same goes for oncoming trains and their tracks, so you may want to adjust your route to wherever we'd be going."
"What the fuck?!" Lester shouted, causing me and Lylo to jump.
"I warned you that there are reasons why you can't fuck with her," Ranger reminded him. "I told you that if you're not serious about Lylo, to back off before you both get hurt."
"Yeah, but …"
"Yeah, but you were still telling yourself that I'm not as fucked-up as I say I am?" She asked him. "Just a quick lay that wouldn't take much effort on your part?"
"No, I …"
She ignored him. "So once I decide to resist the temptation of an oncoming car and proceed with 'our date', you'll drive us to … somewhere, but if we cross over a bridge, you'll see my hand reach for the door handle as I wonder if I can open the door and jump over the side into the river before anyone can guess that's my plan."
I carefully put as much of my arm as I could around Lylo's shoulders to give her what I hope she'll feel is a comfort-hug. Lester, on the other hand, had pressed the heels of both hands against his eyes.
"Stop," he begged.
She did the opposite. "When your truck starts up again with me still inside it, we'll make it to where? A movie theater? Concert? Ball game? Restaurant?"
Lester was/still kinda is an Army Ranger too, so he had enough time to regroup and continue on with the mission.
"Restaurant … unless you're willing to tell me exactly where you'd like me to take you."
"Now I'd be feeling really self-conscious because obviously I won't be dressed appropriately for a fancy dinner …"
"We could go to Shorty's," he interrupted to say. "He makes the best pizza in Jersey, and even if you showed up wearing handcuffs, you wouldn't feel or look outta place there."
She nodded at his quick revision of their hypothetical date. "So we show up at this Shorty-guy's place and we sit down. My eyes will take stock of the silverware on the table and I'll consider whether or not a butter knife will be sharp enough to end it all if I make it to a vein."
"It's pizza. You eat it with your hands," he countered. "No knives needed."
"Is this conversation really happening?" I asked Ranger. "Am I the only one feeling sad and sick hearing it?"
I felt Ranger's tighten around me. "You aren't, but you don't know how much better it is to hear someone's thoughts, rather than show up too late and see the final result of them."
The fact that he's speaking from experience disturbed and depressed me as much as Lylo currently is.
"The pizza gets to our table and while you're trying to talk yourself into my pants, I'm eyeing the doorknobs and jambs in the place, thinking if I flirt well enough you won't notice that I was working the shoelace out of my boot under the table. One bathroom break would be all I need. I have similar thoughts about exposed ceiling beams inside buildings, so if your apartment or house have them, convincing me to come home with you may not end the way you'd hoped."
Not one to admit defeat, Lester was ready for her. "I'll be so charming, all your attention will be on me and you won't want to miss anything I say by ducking out. And I promise you, if I get you to agree to stay at my place, leaving me will be the last thing on your mind. I can make you feel better than any drug on the market."
She didn't bother justifying that comment with a response to it. "By then I'll have admitted defeat again, and start drinking ... hoping if I have enough beer or wine in my system, I'll find something at home to mix with it that'll prove fatal. See? I don't have a lot of free time to waste fantasizing about you when I'm spending just about every minute of the day trying to convince myself to stay alive or coming up with ways to kill myself."
I sucked in a breath at the level of smolder Lester aimed at her. As hard as she was trying to repel him, the smile he's laying on her had her visibly swallowing. It was then that I realized she's not protecting herself from getting hurt by another person, she's protecting him in case she hurts herself. Lester had been right all along. She is interested in our Rangeguy, but she's terrified she's too messed up for him and that will eventually mess him up.
Les had no such reservations. He ran a fingertip from her temple, down over her cheek, and turned to trace her lips. She tried to remain unaffected by his touch, but she looks like I do anytime Ranger is near me. Channeling Grandma Mazur, I sent up a quick prayer for the two of them before I tuned back into the real-life love story unfolding right in front of us.
"Because I care so much," Lester all but purred, "your date-description means I'll have no choice except to spend the night with you, and possibly the next four-hundred or more after it. Could be you need a 24/7 bodyguard who is overly interested in keeping your body close to him. Since you're court-ordered to work here for the next few weeks, that plays nicely into my plans. Ranger won't have to fire me, not that he would because Steph likes you."
We were all so caught up in the drama, we - or at least I - didn't notice the audience we'd attracted until I heard Bobby's voice.
"Lylo and Lester sittin' in a tree … K-I-S-S-I-N-G," he sang.
His song ended there because Lester found a way to release some of the anger he'd felt at being so helpless here. He punched Bobby in the shoulder. He didn't pull it either, but Bobby just laughed and then flipped Lester off.
"I'm sorry," Lylo said to Ranger, "for causing a scene and interrupting their workday."
His smile was as friendly as it's safe to get. If she had a palpable reaction to Lester, she wouldn't survive anything more than sympathetic-understanding from Ranger. I can barely handle Ranger's 'magic' and I have tons of practice.
"There's nothing to be sorry for," my guy assured her. "They're just playing. I should be thanking you for giving Santos the dose of reality he's been lacking. It's about time he starts prioritizing someone else's needs over his own."
I turned and wrapped my arms around him, never more grateful than I am right now that he had stuck by me even when I'd repeatedly told him I was fine on my own. He didn't believe me anymore than Lester believed Lylo.
"Maybe we should double-date with them if one ever happens," I suggested. "Just in case."'
"No way," was Lester's response. "If Lylo's gonna tell me to go to hell, she's doing it privately."
She'd gone quiet after apologizing to Ranger, but the small smile she kept trying to shake didn't stay gone for long. For the first time since I'd barged into her apartment and her life, I felt the first stirrings of hope for her. She's going to be okay. Unless my gut is wrong, which it never is, Lester will gladly spend the rest of his life making sure of it.