A/N: Alright y'all, so considering we're nearing the part of the outline where I don't have it all fleshed out, I will say there will probably be two to three more chapters before I have to go on a hiatus. I don't know how long it'll be, but let's hope it's not too long. Got a month break from school before my next quarter starts, so that's fun. I am a little sick right now though, so that sucks.
Anywho, let's continue our shenanigans, yeah?
Reviews
Hissing Mist- Emberpaw is a very good girl lol. Just ignore all the no-mercy massacre she's done, it's fine XD. This one is called Water. (Essentially, the whole "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" thing. I also just think they're kind of like opposites in a way.) Damn, we've really come a long way huh? Never fear, Best Dad Whiteshadow will teach Streamrunner to be a better dad lol. There's gonna be a lot of guilt after this, but it would have been that way either way. They really just needed a hug and I wanted to give them that chance lol. You know, every now and then, you just need a hug. I've never read the main series so I don't actually know much about the main clans, but I do know Thunderclan was like, always in the spotlight and whatnot and Riverclan was always the one to be antagonistic to them or something. I could be wrong. I'm probably wrong.
Guest- You welcome :). But also, teehee. Someone's gotta get hurt in this. Glad you're enjoying it, thanks for reading!
WhiteWinter1- Fun fact; I've never read any of the main series books, so I don't know much about the main clans. But I did hear a lot that like, Thunderclan was always in the spotlight or that they could "do no harm" kinda thing, idk. I love taking grand concepts and applying them to the choices the characters have to make. Lots of fun. I really just wanted them all to hug for so long XD. They really needed it.
reading at 3am is normal- Eh, that's fine haha. The way I figured it would be like, a fight is tiring. I don't think many stories actually show that, at least not ones that I have read. It's tiring, especially if it's drawn out, and that starts to affect a character in all ways, not just physical. For Leafstar, it's a bit of both haha. Honestly, anything I would have written after they almost tried to kill her would have been awkward; both for the one saying it and the one responding to it. How does one apologize for almost killing someone? And how does the person who was being killed respond to it? Sunningrocks is probably the only thing I remember of the main series, and that's only because it's mentioned a lot in other fanfiction I've read before I started writing my own haha. Ooh, a clan of savannah hunters sounds awesome… Or rabbits who are savannah hunters. What a lovely mental image. College is college, it sucks regardless, but I'm almost done thankfully.
Rainbow Badge (Guest)- Yeah, it was a lot to take in lol. Yep, I've been steadily putting all the fan-submitted characters into the story, and what better way as the next generation of apprentices? Applepaw is- according to the person who submitted them- reserved and timid and spends most of his time observing from the corner of camp. Fights well alongside his brother, Crimsonpaw. So no, he was meant to be a sweet boy lol. Drippingpaw, equally, was meant to be reserved and only talks when spoken to… but that's around other characters. Not around Windpaw (clearly). Windpaw probably doesn't even realize she's given her terms of endearment (and probably won't realize it until someone points it out and then she'd be all like "Damn it. I love her. Nooooo!) A minnow-guppy. Why pick one when you can have both? XD Applepaw's parents are actually Dawnspot and an unnamed tom. Applebob lol. Dripping is definitely a unique prefix, I don't think I've ever seen it before. It's a fun name though. I can totally see them with that kind of friendship haha. Applepaw just wants to keep to himself and Drippingpaw wants to be in with the cool crowd. Though Leafstar would probably welcome them in (and anybody who needs a home, honestly), it's a little different than Darkblaze's case of accepting them into the clan. Those three are Royal/Grand Royal apprentices, while Darkblaze was only a Servant. The clan would definitely not allow it, and there are only so many rules Leafstar can break. The local god XD. All is well, Roseberry's got him. She's a god. Theoretically, yes. Roseberry can be able to identify who exactly made those kinds of wounds (but it may take a while, considering there's a lot, and who's to say they can't replicate wounds of a different clan to avoid suspicion?). Lots of possibilities. But yes, Roseberry would be able to tell if it was a rogue or a clan cat. Ravenflight and Swiftleaf are quickly becoming a couple I really enjoy writing about. I just imagine someone in the crowd screaming that when she arrived XD. She is a one-woman army, don't mess with her. I guess you were pretty close haha. Flarekitty definitely came close to it though. The future is up in the air for everybody now (and also, I don't entirely know either at this point because the outline isn't done, whoops haha). Ever since I started writing fanfiction for this fandom, I've always wanted to read about the main series, but… meh. A lot of stuff seems rather questionable haha. I think I'll stick with my fanfic. The fruit duo XD. Damn it, now I'm gonna refer to them as that from now. Thanks for that. To be fair, I would say Forestclan is "relatively chill" (and by that, I mean not actively seeking to antagonize the other clans) because one, Leafstar (enough said, and two, they have the smallest number of High Ranks/warriors in general. It makes them a little more cautious… and Leafstar keeps her clan in check to not do anything bad.
Guest- Hey there fellow writer person lol. One; A way I can distinguish between guest reviews is if those guests give themselves names (like you with carolinaauthor/Rose), or if they're a frequent review with no name, I can eventually recognize who's writing it depending on what they say. But if there's none of that, I can't really distinguish them, so that's why I always answer them all as separate reviews if I don't know just in case it wasn't the same person. Two; No, it does not bother me when people scream at me to not hurt a character XD The screams of my readers give me fuel (as long as they're nice about it haha). It actually makes me laugh and makes me really happy if they care that much about a character. It means I made them realistic enough for a person to like/care about them. Three; It's just referred to as her monster. Doesn't really have a name or anything. Yes, the other dude was named Phantom. But no, I wouldn't say Rainpaw is actually "cursed" per se. It was more, at that moment, Rainpaw- since we're seeing it through her eyes- saw herself to be like Umbra with what she was about to do. She saw herself as no better than them for her decision, and thus, that's why she thought she saw Umbra's reflection instead of her own. But as for like, if Umbra is actually "taking over" or something along those lines, no. The curse is just a story Father made to scare the younglings into behaving and explain why those cats in that part of the City are the way they are, there's no supernatural aspect to it haha. Hope that clears it up! Thanks for reviewing!
Thanks to everybody who reviewed!
Let's get started!
…
Blazeclan
…
Rule number three: do not get hit.
Well, she completely failed in that regard.
Every step sent a flash of agony ripping through every part of her; her muscles, her skin, her bones and sinew and joints. Flarepaw was convinced that it even reached her soul, her heart, her mind. It was very hard to focus on other thoughts and concerns when she would sometimes glance behind her and see a clear trail of red following after her. Sporadic, so she wasn't bleeding too intensely, but still...
Much more than she was used to.
Aside from all the pain she was feeling, she was also just very confused and very conflicted. And she was still trying her best to wrap her mind around the idea that she was alive to focus on the fact that she almost died just moments ago. Probably would've too, if Bluepaw and Windpaw didn't change their minds at the last second (or even if they had taken a second longer).
I almost died.
It's a hysterical thought that made her want to laugh for whatever reason. Pain was making her rather delusional, it seemed. Flarepaw took a second to lean against the trunk of a tree, grimacing even more as the rough bark dug into a few of her open cuts, but she didn't sway away from it. She was tired- and a lot of it probably had to do with blood loss.
A shivering sigh escaped her and she was so damn cold. Yes, a majority of the snow of Leaf-bare was gone and the thaw had officially begun, but it would take a few days or even weeks before the temperature shifted as well. But for now, it was still freezing.
And almost being drowned didn't help matters. Water clung to her body and dripped just as much as her blood, droplets falling from her pelt. It was anybody's guess whether the trickling she felt along her skin belonged to something that was supposed to stay inside of her or from the remnants of the river hanging around for a while longer. There was a pounding in her head and her vision swam for a second with shadows, she was forced to close her eyes and breathe for a few minutes.
Breathe. She can breathe now.
Her throat felt raw from coughing and she was convinced there was still an unhealthy amount of water in her lungs, her chest aching with sharp pain and her heart thumping sluggishly. Huh.
Maybe she wasn't quite in the clear yet.
Sleep had never sounded so enticing before.
No. Flarepaw still needed to find out if everybody else was safe. If Ravenflight made it to the others, if the rest of the Commoners were able to stick together and watch out for one another, if Sootblaze hadn't fallen into old habits of being reckless. If Whiteshadow's exhaustion got the better of him, if he could fight through it regardless.
If Sagepaw was okay. She had to get to Sagepaw- she was supposed to go to him after helping Ravenflight.
He needs you, he needs you.
She went to take a step, another flash of pain, stumbled back against the tree for just a moment longer. Okay. Maybe moving was beyond her capability right now.
Save him, save him!
Flarepaw growled to herself, frustrated. If she wasn't as injured or tired as she was right now, she would have dropped everything and ran right for the other border. But be that as it may, she was injured and tired. She wouldn't be able to do anything right now to help him.
For now, she had to help herself.
(She just hoped someone else would be able to help him.)
She had to keep moving. So, with senses swimming with agony, Flarepaw grit her teeth and set out again. The first step was the hardest- always the hardest- but she managed. Somehow. She really didn't know how when all she wanted to do was collapse onto the ground and close her eyes.
It was just her luck that Cloudstar chose to have some sort of vendetta against her. Out of everyone. You couldn't have picked on Gingerpaw, for once?
Flarepaw had only half-listened to Bluepaw's quick rambling and apology for everything. She was more focused on getting oxygen back into her lungs than anything else. Air had never tasted sweeter before and no matter how many mouthfuls of it she took in, it didn't feel like enough. She never expected that she took breathing for granted until it was taken away from her.
Whatever the case, the Grand Royal of Stormclan had just wanted to shed blood, to even the score. No, not even that. He wanted to win- taking a Grand Royal apprentice from Blazeclan would be a surefire victory for him and his clan. And because she had made a bit of a name for herself when it came to embarrassing them, Cloudstar had the perfect excuse.
She was only standing here now, in pain as she was, because of mercy.
Because Windpaw and Bluepaw didn't want Rainpaw to kill anyone else. They didn't want to perpetuate the violent cycle their leader had found himself in. They knew stepping back was the smarter decision in the long run because if they did succeed- Blazeclan would no doubt retaliate even harder.
Her death would spark a war between the clans and none of them wanted that. (They already had a war with the rogues steadily approaching, they didn't need to cripple themselves even more.)
...If anything, she wasn't even spared because they felt sorry for her.
They did it for Rainpaw, not her. Which… Fair. Flarepaw knew where she stood with them and though they were tentative friends, she was not incredibly important to them. And that was fine.
If their situations had been reversed, Flarepaw had little doubt she would have done the same for her own family rather than for their sake.
So much for friendship.
(It was quite sad, now that she thought about it.)
She just hated that she had to be a stepping stone for them. It rubbed her the wrong way- and because of them, they ruined her own plans of protecting her own family. Because of this, she won't be able to keep fighting for them. Because of this, she had to retreat to camp and just hope and pray that the universe would spare the ones she cared about this time.
Hoping had never really worked before, but maybe it would this time.
Stars, this hurts.
Flarepaw was used to pain. Wildfire made sure of that. Pain was a constant in her life, if the scars on her underbelly were any indicator, so her tolerance to it was probably higher than most. Escaping a burning forest made it higher. Facing off against the fox only made that even higher.
But this…
This was a unique kind of pain. (Then again, aren't they all?)
She had never experienced what it was like to drown before… but she can safely say she never wanted to experience it again. Flarepaw didn't even think she could handle being by the river anytime soon.
It was just so… dark. And cold. But mostly dark. Light couldn't breach through the tumultuous tides, the currents only ever dragging her down, down, down. And Rainpaw. Rainpaw dragged her down too. Her body became numb to the cold rather quickly, numb to most everything even as claws dug into her, opening her skin even more and spilling more of her blood- all focus had turned to only getting out of the water and back to the surface to draw in air.
But she couldn't.
Over and over and over again.
Because of the currents. Because of Rainpaw. Because of her own weakness.
Each time she came up, it wasn't because she had been able to push the other she-cat away or fight back against the river. It was because Rainpaw let her go up, even helped her up just enough for her to swim the rest of the way.
Rainpaw had been playing with her the entire time.
The amount of terror that had blossomed in her in those moments was so raw and primal, it consumed her. Like being cornered in the middle of a burning forest, smoke and embers all around. Like wading through an all-consuming whiteout of a blizzard, searching fruitlessly for Darkpaw.
Like being pinned by the weight of her father, claws digging into her underbelly, slow and meticulous, with dark amber eyes bearing down on her with an even greater weight than the physical one.
(Huh. Maybe she did know what drowning felt like.)
The helplessness made her skin crawl and poisonous words of weak, weak, weak hissed in her ears like death-dealing snakes. But Flarepaw shook them off quickly. She was not naive enough to think she would have been able to beat Stormclan in their own river. She knew where her advantages and her strength lie and it was not with the water.
She couldn't be good at everything. She knew when to admit defeat.
It still made her tremble. I could have died, I almost died.
But she was still here.
(But just the thought of being so close to just… slipping away and leaving everyone. It made her want to cry.)
(Was it really that easy to die? Just one accident away. That's how it always was with them all. A fire, a rogue attack, a stray claw swiping too close, losing too much blood. How fragile life could really be.)
She didn't realize she had stopped again against another trunk, staring down at her paws.
If it was this easy for her to almost die… What was stopping everyone else from dying right now? It was a battle, anything could happen. Accidents were everywhere and could happen in the blink of an eye.
What if Ravenflight didn't make it back? What if Whiteshadow was overwhelmed? What if Sootblaze took one hit too many for everyone else?
What if Wildfire got to Sagepaw?
Again, she wanted to turn in the direction she- vaguely- knew the borders to be. And again, she couldn't bring herself to go. Another step, another stab of agony. She was too wounded, she had no right to be at the battle any longer now.
But they need me, they need me!
Oh yeah? She wanted to laugh, might have quietly, And what can you do right now? Look at you, you can't even stand.
It was true. Yet, it still hurt to admit. Like admitting to a weakness. But it wasn't! She knew her limitations and she had reached them long ago, and if she wanted to be able to fight another day, to protect everyone else another day, she could not allow herself to be so reckless.
Temptation slithered beneath her skin and she had to force herself to continue down the path that would lead her to camp. You can't. Her presence at the battle would only be a liability to everyone there. If Stormclan saw her this injured, then they would double their efforts just to get to her.
As a Grand Royal apprentice, she had a target perpetually painted on her back and everyone was trying to beat her.
It could really be such a nuisance sometimes.
"My, this is an unflattering sight."
Speaking of nuisance…
She didn't even have the energy to groan, simply rested her head against the bark and squeezed her eyes even tighter. A stray grunt escaped her lips, and it took a lot longer than she wanted to admit for her to crack open one of her eyes. It took seconds, close to a minute, for her vision to clear up just enough to register that the black figure off to the side was actually a cat and not just another shadow.
"Just when I thought today couldn't get any worse," Flarepaw grumbled.
Light laughter filtered in the air before the figure approached steadily closer, sauntering, much cleaner than Flarepaw was at the moment. Icy blue regarded her with amusement.
"Come now, don't be like that, little spitfire. I thought we were friends?"
Yes, well, I thought I was friends with the other three, and look where that got me.
"We're not friends," Flarepaw hissed between her teeth, wanting to stand up but knowing she'd probably fall over if she did. "Go away, Cherrypaw." Her ears flattened and she bared her teeth, "This is Blazeclan territory."
"Oh put those fangs away, unless you plan on doing something with them," Cherrypaw winked, stopping a few feet away. At least she seemed to have the general sense not to get even closer yet.
"Yeah, I'll tear out your throat."
"And here I was going to offer my assistance," the Forestclan she-cat sighed dramatically, ashamed, shaking her head. "You really need to learn not to bite the one trying to help you up."
"I'm doing just fine on my own, thank you very much."
"You're sure proving that," icy blue gleamed with amusement. "Tell me, how long have you not been able to stand up for?"
"If you're done pestering me," Flarepaw rolled her eyes. "Leave before I make you leave."
"Even a feather can knock you over right now. You wouldn't even be able to touch me."
"For you, I'll find the will."
"Aww, I knew you liked me."
"Stars, you're annoying," she gritted her teeth, her claws scraping against the ground. Even they felt brittle and weak and she feared they might just break if she continued doing that. "What are you doing here?"
"Peacemakers," Cherrypaw inhaled slowly, looking as though she wanted to scoff but just resisted before getting to her paws again, bowing theatrically. "Forestclan is here to offer our help to stop your little scuffle. Blazeclan and Stormclan really know how to tear each other apart, don't they?"
"And here I thought you were doing it out of the kindness of your heart."
"A bit of that too." To her surprise, there did seem to be a flicker of what could only be concern in those eyes… and for a second, just a second, Flarepaw was startled at the sight before her. A Cherrypaw who wasn't taunting or flaunting her status or ridiculing someone. A Cherrypaw who seemed to actually care. No. That's ridiculous. Icy blue eyes roved over her and a frown ticked at her lips, "At the risk of praising you and inflating your ego, I have to say I'm really surprised to see you like… this. You're difficult to touch, so who in the world managed that?"
"At the risk of revealing a weakness," Flarepaw shrugged as casually as she could, hiding her wince when the action tore at her body, "I can get overwhelmed. There's only so much I can do when that happens."
"That doesn't really answer my question," Cherrypaw wrinkled her nose.
"If you must know," silver met icy blue, "the ones who can match up to me are other Grand Royal apprentices… More than one can easily overwhelm me."
"Ah," the Forestclan she-cat nodded slowly, humming. "I guess they're not as soft as I thought they'd be."
"Have you met Windpaw? There are many words to describe her, but soft isn't one of them."
Only with Rainpaw was Windpaw ever soft.
"Quite the brute she is," Cherrypaw scoffed once, "too brash for my tastes."
"Why, Cherrypaw," she snickered, "I thought everyone was your taste. Is that not why you flirt with everyone?"
"It's fun," her tail twined around her paws, and there it was again. A drop in the flamboyant act, a different side to her Flarepaw hadn't seen in… Well, ever. It was so strange and she didn't know why she kept from pointing it out. But something was different. Cherrypaw glanced off to the side, a tinge of sadness in her voice, "but that doesn't mean I actually mean it."
The words pricked at her mind and for some reason, she wanted to ask if Cherrypaw ever meant it with anybody. With Flamepaw, and their little affair. A game that her brother thought he was winning but all the spoils only ever went to the Forestclan she-cat. It made her stomach turn.
"And here I thought you genuinely liked me at one point," Flarepaw decided to say instead because she was much too tired to get into that even when she wasn't fresh out of battle. It was a safer route of conversation, banter and teasing and insults they may or may not truly mean.
Cherrypaw looked back to her, a spark of gratitude in her gaze before the act returned and she grinned that glamorous smile of hers. She shrugged, "Don't get me wrong, I do believe you're rather beautiful… Not as much as me though."
"So much for modesty."
"Especially when you're not," Cherrypaw waved a paw, motioning to her entire body, the many wounds and water-logged pelt. "Like this. Such a mess."
"And you're back," Flarepaw huffed beneath her breath before shaking her head. "If you're quite done here, I would really like to get back to camp."
"I suppose I can stand getting your blood on me to help you there," Cherrypaw let out a long-suffering sigh as she got to her paws, flicking her tail and grumbling. "Here I thought I wouldn't get my pelt dirty today. Do you realize how long it'll take to clean?"
"I didn't ask for your help," the Blazeclan apprentice grumbled, even though she was well aware she wouldn't be able to take another step on her own. At least not now, probably a few minutes longer.
"You didn't have to. That's what I'm here for," Cherrypaw padded over the rest of the way, bumping her shoulder lightly into her, and Flarepaw had to refrain from snapping. The least she could do was swallow her pride and accept the help. The faster she made it back to camp, the faster she'd learn if everyone else was safe. "Now, stop being stubborn and lean on me."
Flarepaw made a show of groaning before doing as she was told, catching her balance better now that she didn't have the risk of falling over with someone there to support her. There was a moment of adjusting, a moment of repositioning, but quickly enough, Cherrypaw began taking the lead and Flarepaw was quick to grow over her suspicion as to how the Forestclan cat would know where camp was.
The oak forest used to be theirs, after all. They knew it as well as Blazeclan did by now. (Probably even better in most cases.)
"I know it was probably ordered by Grand Royal Leafstar," Flarepaw said, just because the silence was quick to grow awkward and she had to do something to keep from drifting off to sleep. "But I have to say, I'm surprised you're actually helping at all. I would've thought you would just wander and pretend to assist, but not do it."
Just like before. It wouldn't be the first time Forestclan had to step between Blazeclan and Stormclan, helping both of them back to safety and splitting them up. Granted, those skirmishes tended to be smaller, with fewer injuries… And Flarepaw wasn't usually among them.
"The thought crossed my mind, don't get me wrong," Cherrypaw acquiesced and she looked rather uncomfortable before adding in a low tone of annoyance. "But I've been blackmailed into being nice and I don't know how to shut it off anymore. Don't get used to this."
"You? Blackmailed?" Flarepaw let out a bark of laughter, "I never thought that was possible. At the risk of inflating your ego, I hate to admit that you are quite good at your games. Who has managed to beat you?"
"A dusty moth who has nothing better to do with his life," Cherrypaw scoffed before clearing her throat. A slow smile curled at her lip. "It won't be a problem for long though. As you said, I am good at my games… I hate losing, and I know just the way to get back at him."
"So long as you keep Darkpaw and Berrypaw out of your shenanigans," her eyes narrowed, a tone of warning in her voice. "You can do whatever you want."
"As if you'd be able to stop me otherwise from across the border," the Forestclan she-cat chuckled smoothly, smirking at her, eyeing her many wounds again. "And as if you aren't drowning in your own problems, little spitfire."
"To stop you, I'd find a way."
"I knew I was special to you~"
"You're a thorn in my side is what you are."
"Yes, and I hate to be ignored," Cherrypaw glanced aside again, carefully maneuvering them around tree trunks and overturned roots. The easiest route to travel through for her injured state. How thoughtful. In a quieter voice, she continued, "Let me alleviate your fears though. I won't bring harm to either of them. I could care less for the Servant, and the Cripple…" She trailed off and Flarepaw watched her out of the corner of her eye. Saw the deep frown, the flicker of pain in her eyes, the hidden wince. Then, she finished, "doesn't matter to me anymore."
"Hmm," Flarepaw hummed, keeping her gaze forward, and finally deciding to point it out, "you know you say all that, but your face tells me otherwise."
"I do have quite the lovely face, don't I?" Cherrypaw winked, pretend pretend pretend, trying to keep the act together but stretched to the seams. The Blazeclan she-cat had never seen her so stretched thin, so… raw. So real. "What does my charming face tell you, little spitfire?"
"You're tired."
And just like that, Cherrypaw brought them to an abrupt stop, the smirk on her face vanishing into a thin line. Flarepaw felt like she might be playing with fire right now, but… Well, she was used to the flames.
"And you're scared but mostly tired."
Cherrypaw stared at her for a few seconds, expressionless, before letting out a humorless laugh. She looked frustrated, and just like that, all the pieces began to fall apart. Chip by chip, mask by mask, act by act.
Until Flarepaw couldn't quite tell who was standing beside her now.
A complete stranger.
"...Do you ever wonder," the stranger mumbled, small and quiet, "if it'll actually be worth it?"
Flarepaw furrowed her brow but didn't respond. Because Cherrypaw wasn't finished.
Icy blue found the sky and she kept her gaze there. "That you've just worked so hard for this, only to look back and not even know why you wanted it in the first place. That, instead of a dream to work toward, it's just…"
"Another prison," she supplied.
"Another prison you're willingly walking into," Cherrypaw laughed, sad and hollow, her eyes drifting shut. "And the things you've done to try and reach it… Maybe you deserve to be there."
Their situations were not the same. Flarepaw didn't know everything that the Forestclan she-cat had done; and in reflection, Cherrypaw didn't know everything about her situation either. Perhaps they were mirrors or perhaps they were nowhere in the same realm of comparison.
The only thing that bound them was the cage of the Grand Royal title steadily coming closer. The chains they put on themselves and carried around for the sake of their clan. Convincing themselves that if they just tried hard enough, that maybe it'll be worth it. When they reach it, they can make changes. They can be better. Make things better.
Or perhaps, they were just hopeless optimists.
But more likely…
They simply aren't who they once were. The younglings who took pride in their title, worked hard for their goal, strived to be better than everyone else and prove to their clan that they are the most worthy of the shackles.
They changed.
But…
Is that really a bad thing?
"Everyone changes," Flarepaw murmured eventually, finding the words. Cherrypaw looked back to her then, a stranger in her eyes. She gave as small a smile as she could. She wasn't friends with Cherrypaw, but maybe she could be friends with this stranger. She gave a one-shoulder shrug, "Who says our goals can't change either?"
Cherrypaw turned the words over in her head, ruminated on them, letting out another humorless laugh.
"I don't know what to do anymore," she exhaled, heavy and tired as Flarepaw predicted her to be. "Everything feels like it's just one step from falling apart… and honestly, I just want a break from it all."
Me and you both.
"Well, all we can ever do is take that step," their eyes met again, stern and unyielding, "and do damage control for when it inevitably goes wrong."
To rise from the ashes. And fall. And rise. And fall. And rise again.
It's an endless cycle, and all they could ever do is keep on keeping on because one day when they rise again, they'll be strong enough to withstand the next fall. One day, they won't fall again, and after that, they'll just keep soaring.
One day.
But until then, the only thing they could do was struggle through each fall, pick themselves up, and do it all over again.
Cherrypaw didn't answer again. Merely hummed in thought before continuing down the path, silence overtaking them. This time, Flarepaw let it settle, let it wash over them both. It was more peaceful than before and didn't come with so much weight.
There was still pain with every one of her steps, enough to keep her awake, and with Cherrypaw there, she knew she wasn't about to fall over. It was so strange. To rely on one of the cats she definitely didn't see as anywhere near a friend.
Today was a very strange day.
First, those she could consider a friend damn near killed her.
And now, one of her greatest nuisances was the one helping her.
She really just wanted to sleep now.
Thankfully, camp came into view at last. Sleep was right within reach now. Cherrypaw walked her up to the entrance of it before coming to a stop, glancing over at her and nudging her shoulder.
"You can walk the rest of the way by yourself, no?"
"Do you just want me to admit out loud that I might fall over if you step away?"
"I like to feel needed," Cherrypaw grinned, smaller than before, but with the same kind of energy. It made Flarepaw instinctively roll her eyes, swallowing everything down and risking it all by stepping aside. She grimaced, fighting back a hiss and keeping it in, managing to keep herself steady by some force of will or stubbornness. The Forestclan she-cat eyed her, her smile growing sadder, but she shrugged carelessly. "Of course, not as if you've ever needed me. Take care now, I have to clean this filth off."
Cherrypaw turned away, walking off a few feet before Flarepaw called out to her and she stopped again.
"...Thank you," she managed to find the words and the other she-cat just stared at her for a few seconds. Contemplative.
A laugh, quiet and smooth. Cherrypaw smiled, real real real, "Don't mention it."
And then she was gone, turning away and disappearing in a flash into the forest. Flarepaw watched her go, huffing to herself. So much pain, so many concerns, so many questions.
It never ends.
Regardless, she had to keep going.
So, taking in a deep breath, she began making her way into camp, her teeth clenched the entire time as every step was nearly enough to make her collapse then and there. Pushing through the opening almost took everything within her, and she had little time to mentally prepare herself for what it would mean to walk into camp and see all the eyes on her.
The entire camp became hushed, the conversation she had overhead coming to a halt, and it seemed as though everyone held their breaths. Injuries were scattered all about and there were those helping to clean off the blood from others, but for the most part, there wasn't anyone seriously injured. It made her breathe a sigh of relief.
"This is new."
The first one to approach her was Gingerpaw, her rival wasting no time to go to her side and offer his support. She snorted, pressing into him without complaint, letting out a heavy sigh and not caring at the many surprised eyes on her. Reputation ever going down the drain.
Not that it mattered to her anymore.
"Ran into some friends," she murmured and Gingerpaw chuckled quietly. He had cuts along his body, which was common for someone who blocked everything instead of dodging, but he seemed unbothered by them.
"If these were caused by friends," he muttered in return, "I hate to see what enemies would have done."
An enemy would have killed me.
Once again, she was ever aware that it was only a show of mercy that kept her alive.
No one else dared to approach, the High Ranks already beginning to gossip with one another. She could see her father in the mix, eyeing her with surprise as well, but he simply hummed and turned away. A smirk to his face as always.
She ignored him as much as she could. She really didn't have the strength to be dealing with him.
All she wanted was to sleep, sleep, sleep-
"Flarepaw!"
Before they could enter the Medicine Den, Sootblaze was there, popping out of it as though just waiting for her. There was already concern in his eyes, but as they passed over her, it only seemed to increase. He came to a jerking stop and for a second, his face went blank. Like thousands of thoughts running through his mind all at once, many different scenarios and possibilities and outcomes in a single second.
"You're… You're hurt," he whispered, tinged and raw with regret.
"I'll be fine," she said as reassuringly as possible, her ears flicking to the whispers, and she gave him a pleading look. "Not here, Sootblaze. We can talk inside."
"Yes," Gingerpaw spoke up just as quietly, "step aside, Commoner." He lowered his eyes to the ground. "It's best that she sees it for herself."
Those words made her pause, her heart skipping a beat, and it drew her eyes to the tom beside her. Her ears twitched to fall flat, dread steadily beginning to crawl into her.
"What?" She mumbled before turning back to Sootblaze, who wasn't looking at her anymore. His eyes were on the ground as well, tension written into his features like scars and blood. It made her stomach coil with anxiety, fear welling up. "Sootblaze?"
He grimaced before gradually lifting his eyes back to her, glancing at Gingerpaw before muttering, "I got her."
Pale yellow eyes regarded the Commoner carefully, and for a second, it almost felt like Gingerpaw wouldn't listen to him. That he would insist on leading her inside. Sunset eyes held firm, unwavering, something like understanding flashing between the two before the plain ginger tom nodded.
Flarepaw made no complaint as she transferred to lean against Sootblaze's side, keeping pace with him as he began leading the two of them inside. There would be a short tunnel before the main den, and she kept her eyes on him the entire time. Waiting, expectant.
"I tried to…" Sootblaze paused the both of them, anger flashing in his eyes before he sighed, "I wasn't fast enough."
"Just tell me," she whispered, fear tearing her mind apart. "Please, tell me."
He met her gaze, took in a breath, and finished leading the way inside.
And the first thing Flarepaw could register was the scent of blood in the air, and then the franticness that the two Medicine Cats (and Flame) worked with around the body on the nest. It felt a lot like deja vu, her mind flashing to Thornblaze and Mousepaw before she blinked and it was only the single figure.
A lot of the blood had been cleaned off.
Making it rather easy for her to notice familiar grey fur.
And the entire world came crashing down around her.
(It felt a lot like being stuck in a burning forest, losing sight of Flamepaw, being unable to push off the branch that pinned Willowflame.
A lot like wading through a torrential blizzard, unable to see any speck of black that would signify Darkpaw.
A lot like being pinned beneath precise claws and dark amber eyes.
A lot like drowning, but there would be no mercy this time.)
Sagepaw.
Everything feels like it's one step away from falling apart…
Well, that step has now been taken.
And once again, Flarepaw has fallen.
…
Stormclan
…
Watching the water drip from her pelt was the only thing keeping her sane.
It was easy to drown out the voices of the others talking over themselves, arguing but mostly very tense and nervous and scared.
Exhaustion clung to her body and all Rainpaw wanted to do was lie against the roots of the tree, to enter the small, hidden den that she and Windpaw had often frequented in their meadow to get away from all this mess and find some alone time to themselves. Currently, it was the only safe place in all of Stormclan for them to be at the moment.
Windpaw and Bluepaw huddled close to her, allowing themselves to be checked out by Ripplewave. The Medicine Cat had made the excuse of going on a quick herb run to get out of camp, leaving the watch of the more seriously injured clanmates to the less injured ones. And because this could be counted as a bitter defeat for Stormclan, no one had the heart to complain.
Cloudstar was a bit too busy sulking in his den- perhaps berating his lead Royal and Sagesplash on what in the world happened- to notice their absence at the moment. But it wouldn't take long before they were brought to attention and sought after. (With luck, he probably thought they were either still fighting or had died, meaning it would take him even longer to send out a patrol.)
They were running out of time.
"Do you think- ouch-" Windpaw grimaced, hissing between her teeth as Ripplewave quickly and haphazardly slathered some poultice to the cut across her cheek. Rainpaw only flinched and kept her eyes on the ground, ears perpetually flattened. "Do you think he would really do anything drastic? I mean, he wouldn't actually do anything to Bluepaw and me, since we're Grand Royal apprentices. I know the clan is bloodthirsty and dense, but even they would be against harming those left in the running."
"Then what about my sister?" Bluepaw grumbled, quick to point out the only thing keeping them from heading back to camp at all. "Unlike you and I, she doesn't have the same protection that we do. Nothing is stopping him from imprisoning her… or worse…"
Rainpaw sighed to herself, pressing more into the roots of the tree, so desperately wanting to go into the den just within reach and curl up and never come back out again. If she became one with the trees, maybe Cloudstar would finally leave her alone and maybe she would finally be free.
Free.
Tch, she curled her lip to herself, ignoring the other three even more, as if I've ever known the feeling.
Never in her life had she been free before. Expectations were placed upon her from the moment she was born like chains that she had to quickly learn to carry. And almost as quickly, she was literally abducted by rogues, taking her away from one prison to another and introducing her to the greatest prison of all in the form of the monster. Then came the elaborate game of pretend: pretend to be innocent, pretend she was bad at fighting, pretend she was normal. (Just another prison, just another prison.)
And when everything fell apart anyway, when she lost the game, Cloudstar just dumped her into yet another cage two, twelve, twenty sizes too small for her and the monster. A slave with the title of Royal.
Rainpaw didn't realize just how badly she wanted freedom until now.
The closest she ever came to the feeling was back in the City- and that realization made her want to cry.
"Ripplewave," Bluepaw spoke this time, desperate as the others. "Please, we don't know what to do… I don't want Rainpaw to get hurt anymore. I don't care what he does to us, but she… She's been through enough."
"You believe me to have answers?" Ripplewave sounded aghast, just as frustrated as the rest of them.
"You're the Medicine Cat, you're supposed to help guide us. So," Windpaw grumbled, "guide us."
"Cloudstar…" The Medicine Cat sighed heavily, tired. "I… can try to talk to him."
Rainpaw wanted to laugh.
No, wait. She did actually laugh. Small and quiet, but it was the first sound she made this entire time, so it was enough to draw the attention of everyone else. All eyes turned to her; two pairs of dark green and copper. She wanted to shrivel up and cower away, but instead, she cleared her throat.
"There's nothing anyone can say to make him change his mind," she tilted her head back to look toward the sky. Blue, freedom. She can never reach it. Not from so far down here in the abyss. She's lost all the strength to climb back out and here she stands in limbo. Perhaps it'll be mercy if… "He's going to kill me."
"We won't let that happen," Windpaw immediately responded, stepping over to her side, as though her touch alone would be able to save her. How Rainpaw wished that were the case. Windpaw wouldn't be able to save her, and in the end, it would be her that would need saving. Blue eyes are drawn back to the poultice-covered cut on her love's cheek.
Caused by her claws.
You did that.
It was probably going to scar. Forever a reminder of what she had done.
"He already has," Rainpaw said, and instead of sobbing, she found herself laughing again. "By sending me to that place, I don't know who came back. By making me try to kill her. And even if he lets me live, what's to say he won't make me try to kill someone else again?"
Bluepaw spoke up this time, repeating Windpaw's words, "We won't let that happen."
It sent a sharp pain through her head, her fangs flashing before she could stop herself, the words raw as they left her throat, "And what can you do?! What can anyone do?! He's the Grand Royal. He has the backing of the entire clan- and what do we have? Nothing!"
"This is a tough situation," Ripplewave sighed through his teeth, shaking his head, "and it's risky and I hate to suggest this but… Rainpaw…" Dark green met light blue, sorrowful and disappointed and regretful. "Maybe… Maybe Stormclan isn't the safest place for you anymore."
"I know that. I've known that, Ripplewave," Rainpaw scowled, claws pricking into the ground beneath her, frustration flaring in her body and keeping her warm despite her dripping pelt. "But what else am I supposed to do?"
The world remained quiet, Ripplewave not moving his gaze from her, something in his eyes that she couldn't make out past the sympathy.
Apparently, Windpaw was the first one to understand the meaning of his words.
"You can't be serious…" Copper eyes flashed, with anger and something like fear, before her lip curled to reveal her own fangs, "Ripplewave, we just got her back!"
"What?" Rainpaw wrinkled her nose.
Ripplewave shook his head slowly, the frown remaining, "I have run out of ideas. If she were to remain even on the outskirts here or on the territory hiding, Cloudstar will find her eventually. It's not safe, Windpaw."
"Maybe… Maybe he's got a point, Windpaw," Bluepaw mumbled, slow and cautious and very reluctant. There was a displeased expression on his face. Windpaw gave him an incredulous look.
"What are you talking about?" The blue-furred she-cat snapped at them.
The three of them didn't look at her immediately, simply meeting each other's eyes. Bluepaw and Ripplewave wearing deep frowns and Windpaw's expression slowly morphing from momentary anger to conceding sorrow.
It was Ripplewave who spoke up, meeting her stare head-on.
"Leave," his voice knocked the wind out of her and she stumbled back a step. "Escape from here while you have the chance… give us- give me time to talk to Cloudstar without risking you facing his wrath so soon. Sometimes, he just needs a few days… or moons... to think things through clearly, but until then… I think it's best for you to leave."
Leave.
Leave, you're not welcomed here.
"It's for your own safety," Bluepaw murmured, his ears flat even while he spoke. Clearly not liking the idea, but… It was the only thing available to them that wouldn't guarantee her death. "At least for a little bit."
"And where will she be until then?" Windpaw cut in then, the fur along her shoulders and spine bristled in agitation. Keeping close to Rainpaw's side. Always by her side. "Do you happen to know a super-secret place to hide out at?"
"Your sarcasm right now isn't helping," her brother scowled- and that instinctively set the two off immediately. More voices, more shouting, Ripplewave sighed and Rainpaw went back to being silent. Her gaze went distant.
Leave.
Escape Stormclan.
Run from your prison.
But where? And could she just leave on a good conscience? There was a war coming for crying out loud, and Cloudstar was too blinded by current events to see the real threat steadily approaching them (or perhaps, he didn't see them as probable threats). She couldn't go back to the City, they would eat her alive there and definitely kill her for sure.
To become a wanderer? Where her main goal was just… to go? Searching endlessly for another home she will never, ever find.
Honestly, she just wanted to go far.
Far away from here.
Far... away…
Her ears perked up.
The Faraway Valley.
"The valley is past the mountains in the distance. Anybody looking for a safe haven or a second chance, a new beginning or a resting place is welcomed…"
She remembered now. The mother and kits Whiteshadow and her ran into before arriving in the City. And the four stragglers they helped to escort to the base of the mountains; Cypress and Viridian, Howl and Shiver.
Her eyes trailed off to the side, looking past Windpaw, past the willow trees, past the endless fields, past the mountains. A safe haven. A second chance. A new beginning. A resting place.
Honestly, Rainpaw needed all of those things right now.
But, she'd be abandoning them. Her main reason for even trying to kill Flarepaw in the first place. Bluepaw was simply banking on the hope that Cloudstar wouldn't be brave enough to actually harm those in the running, that the clan wouldn't let him go through with something like that. But what if that wasn't the case? What if he made a bet and lost and he was killed anyway?
And Windpaw…
Windpaw was right. She just got home again. She just started getting better. She just started making something of herself- and to throw it all away?
Freedom.
Freedom, freedom, freedom.
Could she truly have that?
"I must return to camp," Ripplewave cut through the voices again, tense and nervous. "I've been gone for too long and I don't need anyone coming to suspect me. I'm sorry for not being able to do anything else, but Rainpaw- I suggest you get out of here as quickly as possible. Before the night approaches… I… I'm sorry it had to come to this again. I shall leave you to discuss."
"Thanks for your help, Ripplewave," Bluepaw called after the retreating form of the Medicine Cat. Silence settled over everyone again, contemplative and thoughtful and bitter. Windpaw knew Ripplewave was right. Bluepaw knew it too. As did Rainpaw.
The Faraway Valley.
"Rainpaw?" Her brother murmured cautiously after a heavy moment, none of them wanting to breathe too loud. Her eyes turned to him. "You haven't said a word on the matter. I think it should be up to you, since…"
Since you'll be the one leaving.
Again.
"I know a place," she found herself saying, the two of them recoiling in surprise, and she shuffled the weight on her paws. "Well, it's probably a story but… It could be true. Whiteshadow and I helped some other escapees there."
"Does it have a name?"
"Everyone just calls it the Faraway Valley. It's past the mountains."
"...So you want to do it," Windpaw muttered, something like heartbreak in her gaze, but she tried to hide it. Rainpaw still saw it, her own heart breaking for her. "You want to leave?"
Rainpaw flattened her ears, "I don't want to, but…"
They don't have any other options.
Well, she didn't have any other options. Windpaw and Bluepaw still had the hope of the clan wanting to follow tradition rather than Cloudstar's twisted vendetta. If that didn't work… She just hoped they could think of something else. Should she wait for the clan to pass judgment on them first before trying to leave?
No, Ripplewave said it would be best to leave now. There was no time to wait around here.
"We just got you back," Windpaw grimaced, squeezing her eyes shut, "we just got you back, and now-"
"No one likes this situation," Bluepaw said, dejected. "But what other choice do we have?"
"If we just think of something-"
"There's no time, Windpaw," Rainpaw breathed, stepping closer to brush their muzzles together and hating just how much it felt like her love wanted to lean away. She didn't, she drew closer if anything, holding her tighter. "There's nothing we can do."
We're powerless.
"I can't lose you," Windpaw whispered to her ears, pained. "I can't- Not again. I don't…"
Rainpaw didn't want to either. Leaving, while enticing, was not something she ever wanted to do again.
Because aside from hating her prisons and chains…
Rainpaw hated being alone just as much.
Alone.
Maybe…
Her eyes drifted to the other two. An idea forming.
Maybe… I don't have to be alone.
What if we…
"Come with me then."
What if we all stayed together?
…
A/N: We're nearing the end of this arc and it was a lot of fun. Very painful. Typical for arcs in this story haha. I just love it all. I hope you enjoy it!
…
Question of the Day
What has been your favorite fight scene in the entire story?
…
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Thank you and peace out!
~Wolfcreations21