Chapter 1 - Unexpected Pregnancy
Chapter opening quotes of encouragement for devoted shippers of Esdeath X Tatsumi:
"The Jaegers led by Esdeath was just an anti-terrorist organisation, they did nothing wrong." - an Average Jaegers Enjoyer
*Just a joke for fun, mocking and parody. Guys, please don't get political, over emotional or start a waifu war.
*The quote is completely irrelevant and unrelated to the chapter.
About 2 months(8-9 weeks) after the Island Episode, also 10 days before the end of Episode 20 and start of 21
Imperial Palace
Esdeath's Personal Quarters
Esdeath sat on the toilet in a posture like "The Thinker" statue.
Esdeath was very confused as she looked at her sanitary napkin in utter frustration. It's been nearly 2 months since she stopped menstruation.
Am I dealing with too much stress or something?
To a certain extent, yes. Many things had happened in these 2 month.
Bols, the only man who could give her relationship advice was killed in action. He was indeed a very honorable and a great man. Esdeath was always grateful about his guidance. Even to these days, Esdeath still kept all her notes taken detailedly from all her consultation with Bols. His death is a huge loss for her.
Then, the next thing really pissed Esdeath off, it was about a certain ungrateful emerald green eyed young man.
Tatsumi! How dare you fucking run away from me! I showed you all my love! I showed you all my devotion! I gave you my precious virginity! I let you dominate me! I even let you draw blood from me when no one is able to do so or even allowed to lay a finger on me in all these years. I made it so clear that I am only yours and you are only mine! Yet you now just fucking run away like a little bitch!? Just where the fuck are you now?
Tatsumi! You are a dead man! And when I find your cute little fucking ass, I will chain you on my bed for at least a month! You will learn what is respecting your mate and what is pleasuring me. I will personally punish you with whips. You will wear a collar, stick your tongue out and bark like a dog as I hold a leash on your neck. Oh yes, and I will squeeze every last drop of your semen 24/7 and make sure all of them are rightfully consumed by me and only me! No matter how much you got, I will make sure that they are all either in my womb or in my stomach! None of your seeds, sweat, blood, tears and saliva will be wasted! You will scream for me and beg me for forgiveness! If the only way to make you be an obedient mate and a responsible lover is to break your stubborn mind first, then so be it!
This is for the sake of our lovely relationship, Tatsumi. I am sorry that I must discipline you first but only then we can have a sweet, healthy and equal love life. This is the only way even if I need to go this far. I hope you can understand my priceless love and infinite care behind the pain that I will inflict on you when your punishment comes.
However, Esdeath's rage "somehow mysteriously" lowered a little as she proceeded with a more rational thinking.
Am I being too harsh? Is such harsh punishment a bit unnecessary and too much? What if he hates me for punishing him? Is it really correct to do so? Should I just forgive Tatsumi if he tried to apologize to me? Am I being too toxic? Maybe he did have some good reason to run away? Maybe he just needed some personal space? Maybe I should just talk to him and ask him what is wrong...
The "somehow" rational thinking stop as Esdeath snapped back from her own mind to reality.
"ERRR! Whatever! Tatsumi, you will never escape me again once I find you!"
The problem of Tatsumi running away was nothing compared to Esdeath's current health issues. It was an absolute clusterfuck with the combination of rage, frustration, uncertainty, hate, embarrassment, sadness, confusion and self-denial. It was just so fucking complex and bizarre that Esdeath didn't even know where to begin!
Esdeath started to recall as about a month ago, she seemed to suffer from a huge among of different types of symptoms from some kind of "strange unknown disease". Even worse, all these symptoms just never stopped and continued to grow stronger and stronger each day.
Firstly, when she walked along the corridor of the palace, her whole body would suddenly cramp. A huge pulling feeling on both sides of her stomach occurred every time. The pain was similar to those during the period yet she found nothing on her sanitary napkin every time she checked it. At first it happened only occasionally but now it is quite frequent and strong. Cramping during patrol or military meetings was just a huge embarrassment as the Empire's strongest. Luckily, she always managed to hide in some hidden corners before anyone would notice her.
Secondly, she always felt extremely tired every day. In the past, she could fight and train with her fellow Jaegers in full contact for half a day non stop with even a single drop of sweat. Now, she even felt tired when walking up stairs. The fatigue even forced her to hold the railing while moving up like a weakling! Panting for just a few steps of stair is such a shame for the Empire's Strongest! The tiredness even made her always wanted to sleep, sit or find something to lean on. Unacceptable!
Talking about sleeping, here came the third problem. Esdeath kept having strange dreams about babies. Although they ain't nightmares but the babies were straight up annoying as hell. In her dream, these little monsters kept crying and she needed to do everything to comfort them to stop crying. Although these babies were extremely annoying and these strange dreams kept her from sleeping well and caused her to have visible dark circles under her eyes, she somehow didn't dislike or even took cared about these kids in these dreams. This made Esdeath extremely frustrated.
Fourth, Esdeath found that she had very frequent urination. She basically needed to go to the bathroom for every 20 mins. The constant urge to pee was hellish, especially when you were a high ranking Imperial General and always needed to attend those 2-3 hours military meetings. Frequently leaving your seat in front of the whole group was already extremely embarrassing, but nothing could compare that a few times when she tried to help hold herself for a few more minutes in the near end of a meeting, she leaked. Yes, she pissed herself literally. That sudden leaking didn't just end there. She leaked when she was training and exercising. However, the worst part was yet to come. When she was interrogating a group of revolutionary army spies, just as the moment that she started laughing and taunting her prisoners, she leaked...extensively. She uncontrollably peed through her pants and created a whole water puddle on the ground like a small waterfall. The prison guards within the room jaws dropped in shock while all the prisoners burst out laughing in a thunderous way. They kept mocking Esdeath as "Piss Queen", Ice Piss", "Squirter", "Squirt Queen", "Piss Whore", "Squirting Bitch" and "The Empire's Strongest Piss Squirter" and the insults just kept coming. Esdeath was shocked to the core. She was stunned and stood frozen right on the spot for 5 minutes. When she snapped back, she instantly killed all of the prisoners within the room out of extreme embarrassment. In utter rage, she also killed the prison guard within the room who tried to give her towel to clean up. After that, in order to cut any loose ends for spilling what happened in the torture chamber, Esdeath also killed all of the remaining prisoners and any prison guards stationed within just for good measure. No one was allowed to be alive to tell the tale.
Firth, Esdeath found herself seeming to have extremely high blood pressure to the point that she would feel dizzy frequently.
Sixth, She found herself having way faster heartbeat. She could clearly feel the pumping became faster and way harder then she used to. She felt like she was suffering from some kind of palpitation and arrhythmia.
Seventh, Esdeath sometimes felt she was suffering from constipation which gave her some strange bloating feelings in the abdominal area. As the Empire's Stronger, she could even eat raw or rotten danger beast meat without any side effects. Is there anything wrong with her digestive system?
Eighth, Esdeath found that she had a way higher body temperature. After drinking the blood of Demon's Extract, her body temperature was always low and very cool. She basically never sweats. Well, except whenever she saw Tatsmui and that intense deflowering process back on the Island. Now, whenever she was doing exercise, Esdeath's body temperature became so high that she sweat like a waterfall. She basically needed to keep drinking water frequently in order to lower her temperature and thirst. Yet it also caused a vicious cycle of her frequent urination problem.
Ninth, Esdeath found herself suffering from extreme nausea every day and night. She also somehow got morning sickness. The most horrific problem is that she suddenly had strong aversions to the smell of blood. Yes, blood, one of the most enjoyable smell for Esdeath no became so aversive powerful they made her sick to the stomach. Earlier in the month, when she killing those prisoners making fun of her leaking problems, the excessive spill of blood only made her felt strangely uncomfortable. At that time, she did not pay much attention. However, since last week, whenever she smelled blood, she would immediately vomit uncontrollably. The feeling of heartburn was also so strong what Esdeath felt her stomach acid was leaking and was going to burst out of her chest. She thus could not even step a foot near the torture chamber or she would instantly vomit to the stomach out. This greatly enraged Esdeath since she could no longer practise her favorite entertainment of torture and forced her hands to be "clean" until now.
Tenth, Esdeath found herself suffering from serious motion sickness. Whenever she was riding a horse, the slight shaking motion from the horse caused all of the above problems like dizziness, nausea and vomiting issues all struck into her at the same time. It felt like receiving a tactical nuke right in the skull after some random asshole got a 24 killstreaks with the Hardline Perk. Instantly end her game of "hunting the rebel scum" with a pool of puke on the ground.
Eleventh, Esdeath found herself having extreme mood swings. Her estrogen and progesterone levels were sky high. This made Esdeath extremely emotional and reactive to surrounding areas. Esdeath was always a stone cold person with few emotions except when Tatsumi was around. Yet, recently, her crazy mood swings enabled her to have the feelings of depression, irritability, anxiety, and euphoria all the time. She would overreact to everything or response completely out of character. Once, when she accidentally dropped a small piece of a blueberry cheesecake on the floor, she bursted out in tears like a waterfall. Luckily, she went hide within the bathroom before Wave and Kurome could even find out the noise.
The sudden mood swings was also the reason why she would "somehow'' take a more rational thinking process about Tatsumi's escape. If it was in 2 months ago, she would already planned carefully about how to progressively torture Tatsumi so that she could break his mind completely, thus making Tatsumi fully and solely became hers as an obedient lover. However, Esdeath started to act completely differently starting from this month. Surely, she would still think about torturing Tatsumi in order to discipline him. However, it would immediately be followed by a self-reflection. She would try to think that she was the one who caused Tatsumi's escape. She would try to think that there was anything she could do better. She also "somehow" rejected the idea of punishing Tatsumi subconsciously. Deep in her heart, Esdeath actually just wanted a formal apology from the man she loved. She also somehow introspected that was she being too aggressive to Tatsumi without giving him enough personal living space.
However, the most astounded and thunderstruck situation was yet to come. For the first time in her life, she felt compassionate towards the weak. For the first time in her life, she felt sympathetic towards the poor. Yes. This shocked Esdeath to her core. Such sheer shock made her tremble to her knees. Whenever she saw some poor revolutionary bastard got tortured terribly, she felt scared. Whenever she saw the blood, gore and horrific screams from the victims, she felt absolutely disgusted. When she knew that due to collective punishment, a whole generation of family was killed in public execution, she felt pity for them. She somehow had an urge to rescue or help them escape. When she saw the atrocity commited by the FATASS Prime Minister Honest, she was angry and sad for the child Emperor being manipulated by the FATASS. The most craziest of all was when Esdeath recalled her all her anti-human crimes in the past like genocidal and torture, she "somehow" felt extremely sorrow to her victims. She didn't know why but she could feel their despair and misery. Just a month ago, she was still enjoying her victims' pain but she loathed her own actions. There was something in her mind that kept reminding that she was a psychotic monster and needed to be stopped before it was too late. She swore she could hear voices and that voices was calling her to stop killing, quite torture and then "somehow" went enjoy a peaceful life of prosperity.
"What the fuck is wrong with me!?", Esdeath roared like a ultra-alpha class danger beast. Her aura of anger was so strong that was able to make the hanging light within the bathroom fall on the ground. She was so frustrated that she didn't even bother to take a look.
"It isn't right! What's happening to me?! I am being too emotional, too irrational, too uncontrollable… I am being WEAK!"
When she walked to the bathroom cabinet and looked into a huge mirror, directly at the reflection of herself, she was even more enraged.
She looked "fat"!
Well...only by her own standard of course. Esdeath found her somehow gained about 1.25 kg. She could tell her breasts and hips were definitely a little bit bigger than before since her bra and panties became a bit tight for her. She also somehow gained a very slight "muffin top" and some "stiff fat" on her belly that also made her perfectly fit military uniform become a little bit tighter on her waist as well.
She was pissed. She was absolutely pissed.
"I am being sloppy and lazy! What is wrong!? What is wrong with me!? I am the Empire's Strongest! I am the Empire's Strongest! I AM NOT A WEAKLING!"
With hysterical scream, roar and sheer wrath, Esdeath slammed her fist into the mirror and shattered it instantly. The punch was so strong that Esdeath's fist went through the wall like nothing.
However, Esdeath did not notice the broken mirror piece on the ground and the bathroom cabinet did not show a twisted woman. Instead, it reflected a blue haired female imperial general in a very very abstract and artistic way. The woman within shattered reflection almost looked like a phoenix. When Esdeath slowly left the bathroom, the abstract reflection image almost looked like and show a blue/white phoenix was arising from the ruins of ashes and slowly flew away to her destiny.
Sadly, the utterly frustrated Esdeath didn't even bother to take a look about the mere shattered mirror. She just walked to the living room while outrageously ranting about her confusion. The living room was full of the thunderous roar of a female ultra-alpha class danger beast.
"Just what am I?! Am I even myself?! Am I even Esdeath Partas?!"
Esdeath was always extremely strong. She never got sick, she never got hurt and she never needed to see a doctor.
To Esdeath, went seeking medical attention was a sign of being weak. You were weak so you need other's help, namely asking doctors to help you patching wounds or performing medical treatments. Asking for help put yourself at disadvantage as it gave opportunities to your enemies. This was unacceptable for the strong, especially for the Empire's Strongest to seek help.
Therefore, even with so much serious sickness, Esdeath never even thought of getting any medical attention, not even a mere second in her mind.
However, enough was enough. These symptoms of "unknown disease" had already been proven to be too much for her to handle. They were already making her weak and incompetent which were all she hated the most in her life. As long as Esdeath didn't want to admit, in such an increasing rate of sickness, she would need to take a long leave from the Imperial military in order to recover. This also meant that Esdeath would look even weaker if she does not take action now.
Esdeath sighed as she finally calmed down. She needed a "damage control".
She complied to her instinct for medical help, "For once in my life that I need a doctor…what a shame..."
Esdeath visited the infirmary of the Imperial Sanitarium.
She opened a door of a random infirmary and walked in with her usual intimidating aura.
She then saw a doctor was writing some kind of medical report. He has a name tag "Malikov". He was in his mid 40s with significant hair loss and the hair already turned a bit grey. He also has a very masculine short beard. His thick rimless glasses and aura showed that he was an elite and extremely passionate scholar who dedicated all his mind and whole life into medical study.
"I demand a full medical checkup. I am feeling really unwell recently." She spoke with her usual commanding tone.
"Of course, general, please take a seat." He spoke politely and firmly with a heavy strange foreign accent.
Esdeath narrowed her eyes a little, measuring the doctor.
Why doesn't he feel threatened? Normally those cowardly Royal physicians will literally pisses themselves when they see me. Also, that is a really strange accent.
As Esdeath sat on a chair, she asked, "I have not seen you before. And about you accent, are you a foreigner?"
"Yes, General. I am hailed from the Federal Republic in the Eastern Continent. I met Great General Budo during my medical study trip and he hired me to work and carry out my studies with the Imperial Sanitarium since last month."
Esdeath nodded, seemed to satisfied with his answer.
"Well then, let's start shall we? Would you please tell me about what you are feeling unwell, like symptoms such as sore throat, headache or any other things like that?" Doctor Malikov asked in a very professional tone.
"Fine. Listen carefully then."
Esdeath then proceeded to tell the doctor everything that she felt unusual about her body and all her "symptoms from some kind of strange unknown disease".
Really? Is that what I think it is?
"Did you also have metallic taste in your mouth or having any particular food cravings or even food aversions?"
"How did you know? Ice cream is always my favourite but somehow I felt disgusted when I saw them now. Also, I don't know why but I always wanted to eat blueberries, especially blueberry cheesecakes. These all happened at the start of this month."
Bingo…Seems my prediction is correct! Her symptoms were very serious so she was clearly having a double size compared to other normal ones! Err… I hope that the General won't get mad at me for asking personal questions…
Doctor Malikov eyed Esdeath for a mere second.
There is nothing to worry about. Ain't it just a normal medical question? Yep, just relax, I can do it.
"Hmm, I see… let me ask you one last question…When was the last time you have sex with your partner?
The temperature of the room froze immediately.
"What is the meaning of this?'
Ok…I instantly regret it.
"For my professional diagnosis."
The doctor stylishly adjusted his glasses with his shaking hands. Esdeath somehow could not notice it.
I should never be hired for the Empire…All I want is just some medical technology exchange…
"Fine, it was about 2 months ago. Nothing more, nothing less." Esdeath said as she stared deep into the soul of Doctor Malikov, trying to find the reason why he suddenly asked her private life.
"Ok, then please lay on the bed. I will do a further checkup."
"Try anything funny and I will rip your head off."
God almighty! Does she seriously think that I am going to molest her? My wife is gonna kill me before Esdeath can torture me to death!
"General, please just relax."
Esdeath did not reply, she just stared at him like a deathwatch.
I just want to go home.
"General, do you mind taking off your clothes a bit? Just showing your belly part is ok."
Esdeath compiled but an ice longsword was already formed in her hand, ready to kill the Doctor if he tried to cross the line.
Doctor Malikov signed and took an ultrasound machine, he put the scanner and on Esdeath's belly, started his medical procedure with pure professionalism.
"What is this machine? I have never seen it before."
"This is a ultrasound machine. An unique but common civilian medical technology that only the Federal Republic and Eastern Dominion in the Eastern Continent have access to this technology. This is my personal one and also currently the only one within the Empire."
"Why does the Empire not have access to it?'
"Well...It is because your Empire refuses to trade with us. Our government wanted to use some advanced civilian technology to exchange some teigu from your Empire. The deal was cancelled almost instantly. The reason is very obvious-"
"National security."
"Yea..."
"Does it mean your country doesn't have any teigu?"
"Not a single one within the whole Eastern Continent."
Esdeath grinned with an evil smile.
Then why the FATASS Prime Minister Honest never called me to attack and conquer this Eastern Continent? They have no teigu! We can easily lay absolute havoc to them! More wars! More battle!
Doctor Malikov seemed to understand Esdeath's mind. He explained, "The reason that the Empire never reach or even explore the Eastern Continent is due to technology restriction because-"
The doctor suddenly stopped and had a bright smile on his face, "The rest is a story for another time. Let me confirm this again."
After a few more minutes of checking, Esdeath asked impatiently, "So, what is the problem?"
Well…Seems my prediction is correct from the start all alone! Yes! I can't believe the Empire's Strongest is going to be a mother!
The doctor stylishly adjusted his glass again and said in a very delighted tone.
"My diagnosis is that you are pregnant! Congrats! General, you are going to be a mother!"
"What?!"
"Yes, General! You are pregnant! It is wonderful news! Congratulations!"
Error
Esdeath . exe has stopped working
The time stopped. Everything stopped. Esdeath felt like she was hit by a stasis bomb.
The simple sentence "You are pregnant." is like a magic trigger phrase to Esdeath, like some kind of the deceased Dr Stylish's secret brainwashing sleeper agent trigger phrase. When Esdeath heard the word, even she had even thought about this word before, her mind was instantly filled with Tatsumi and only Tatsumi, every of her memories with him, every moment and every second. His face, his voice and his actions. She swore she could see a baby through the combination of Tatsumi and her face together. Even the word was very simple and felt outta nowhere, Esdeath felt extreme touched and heart warmed by the fact that she was going to be a mother. She just received the news that she was bearing hers and Tatsumi's love in the form of a new life inside her. They have a descendant, a offspring directly produced by them. This was Esdeath's and Tatsumi's love, the perfect gift of love, nature and gods!
"I…I have a baby with…with…Tatsumi…?"
A tear of joy was dropped from her crystal blue eyes. She rubbed her belly gently with motherly kindness, "My sweet sweet little baby…Can you hear me? I am your mother… You are the most wonderful fruitful result of my love with Tatsumi…"
She continued with a motherly joy, "I can't believe this! Tatsumi! You are going to be a father! Your kids! Our kid! He is right here!"
"Well…actually…it is not just 'a baby' or "a kid". Here, please view the monitor." Doctor Malikov said with a big smile on his face, he turned the hulking monitor to face Esdeath and gestured to her to take a look. There were two little cherry sized babies.
"General, you are bearing a twin."
Esdeath of over-hyped. Through the monitor, she was looking directly at her two little cute unborn children. The twins were tiny. Their eyes were still closed. They were sleeping peacefully. Esdeath still could not believe she and Tatsumi created 2 beautiful souls just on their own. Life was a form of miracle. These 2 little new lives were Esdeath's and Tatsumi's miracle. They single handedly created them together. As their children of miracle, Esdeath was absolutely proud of them. They were the best thing that Esdeath had seen in her life, beautiful, cute, loving and relaxing.
"Did you hear that? A twin! You will be the best and the most wonderful siblings ever!"
Through the screen, when she put her hands on her belly, gently rub it with care, trying to communicate with the baby twins, she could "somehow" feel them reacting to her call by slight vibration. She swore she could feel their heartbeats. The feeling, the reaction and the appearance of her babies was so touching and so moving. This was the most wonderful and the most precious gift in the world. The ultimate result of the love between Tatsumi and her is right here. They were the living embodiment and approval of their pure love relationship.
"Your father, Tatsumi would be so proud to see you two..."
When the moment she saw her loving children, she instantly forgave Tatsumi for what he had done even without his formal apology. All she wanted was to find Tatsumi instantly and told him such wonderful news. Sadly, he was not around and Esdeath was too hyped to greet her two little angels at the moment.
Esdeath asked eagerly and infinite expectations, "What is their gender?"
2 daughters? 2 sons? A son and a daughter? Hehehe~
"Since you are still in the early stage of pregnancy, I can not confirm. From your information and those 'double sized symptoms', you are currently in the start of week 9 pregnancy. It's not until 14 or 15 weeks that you can clearly begin to see the differentiated genitalia of the baby, so you still need to wait."
"That's great!"
As Esdeath listened carefully about the information about the formation of her babies, suddenly, something extremely grave came up in her mind.
Wait…How can I forget that Honest FATASS bastard! If he finds out I am pregnant, I would instantly be at a disadvantage in the balance of power. He would try his best to use my love of my babies to manipulate me!
Esdeath never trusted the FATASS Prime Minister Honest. First of all, HE'S FAT! That FAT SON OF A BITCH was a cunning bastard and a master of manipulation! Esdeath and him only had a very loose alliance. While the FATASS let Esdeath do whatever she wanted, Esdeath needed to help him maintain his control within the government. Esdeath knew that the FATASS never trusted her fully as well so he also had some secret agents to spy on her. Funny enough, These agents all "secretly disappeared '' once they were deployed within a day or 2 and eventually made the FATASS give up on spying on her. However, it was very clear that the FATASS always wanted to find her weakness so that he could take advantage of it. Normally, Esdeath did not mind as she was strong and the FATASS could not do anything and she still needed his help to wage war whenever/wherever she wanted. However, the tide had changed now. If he found out about Esdeath's pregnancy, he could easily use such a disadvantage to force her out of the Imperial command structure since a weak pregnant woman had no use to his scheme. It was also very likely the FATASS could use Esdeath's children to gain full control of her and eventually made her the FATASS's pet. This is horrifying and unacceptable!
No loose ends…I can't let anyone know this! Only dead men can keep secrets!
Esdeath grinned evilly to the doctor, ready to kill him right on the sport.
To her surprise, the Doctor didn't panic and he seemed to be very calm.
What an interesting man...But who ever he is, he won't leave this room alive-
"I know what you are thinking, General but there is no need to worry. One of the basic professionalism of being a good doctor in Federal Republic is to respect the privacy of their patient. Even without their request, all their medical records will be kept as secrets and no one will find out…Well, at least I am the only one that will do so in this Imperial Sanitarium."
That's it...My time has come. I hope that my last words can still keep my professional image.
If it was Esdeath weeks ago, she would immediately kill him without even letting him speak. However, her new found motherly instinct "somehow" told her this man was a trustworthy person and a figure who could help her.
"How can I trust you?", Esdeath asked as she narrowed her predatory eyes.
Oh?! She didn't do it? Ok...just stay calm...stay cool...I should still be able to live through another day.
"I am just a travelling scholar who had no allegiance to anyone within the Empire. No allies and enemies, I am not interested in money or fame. All I want is some first handed medical research data from different classes of the Empire in order to complete my book about global public health. I can't even find any officials or other co-works to help me. With no vested interest, what can I gain from spilling the beans?"
"Reasonable...Then tell me, what do you think about Imperial public health?"
"To a greater extent, it is bad. Just take the current Imperial Capital as example, extreme poverty leads to malnutrition while serious obesity is very common among the upper class. Sexual promiscuity is always common among the nobles which cause sexually transmitted diseases and human immunodeficiency virus became extremely popular with sky rocketing pace. Medical personnel are also either corrupted or incompetent, if we don't change them, the average life expectancy of the Imperial citizens will significant drop from-"
In the face of the death and corruption, he never holds back. He is just like Tatsumi but way older and way mature. I like him. I have a feeling that he will be very useful later on.
"Good! You can stop now. I like your honesty. From now on, you work for me."
"What?!"
"Yes, you heard me loud and clear. You will now serve and treat only me, understand?"
"O…Ok?"
"Good, you are going to explain every reason behind my every symptom."
The Doctor continued to answer all Esdeath's questions in patience.
Esdeath was very surprised as basically everything could lead to her female hormone, estrogen and progesterone eruption. It made her weak but there was nothing she can do. The doctor's kept reminding her that they were natural for women in pregnancy. As a person who loathed being weak, she hated like it. However, it also helped her gain a lot of different emotions which greatly interested Esdeath. As long as she absolutely hated being weak, these emotions actually did give her a lot of fun. Esdeath didn't know why but she somehow did not reject these feelings.
When Esdeath knew that due to high smell sensitivity, she could not get anywhere near blood. She was absolutely shocked because it also meant that she could no longer went to torture chamber or stay in combat. There was no way that anyone could stop her from practising her favourite entertainment. When she was about to burst out in rage, she found a very unique explanation to comfort herself.
If I cannot smell blood during this time...then I can torture people with psychological method without hurting them physically! Waterboarding would be excellent! I can still go to torture chamber without bloodshed! About combat...I can freeze enemies into ice first and shatter it with a straight punch. When the ice shatters, due to condensation, no blood will be spilled! It is easy! I can still kill!
Esdeath felt like she just found a 300 IQ method to solve her concern...Or is it?
While the Doctor was explaining, a part of her mind was drafted away.
Esdeath always wanted to have children with Tatsumi so that she could breed the most wonderful and perfect warriors of the next generation. After all, having offspring that could carry out their family legacy was the pride of every parent. She could already imagine her children would be the most fierce and fearsome warriors that the world ever knew. She would also like to have a whole "squadron" of kids with Tatsumi so that she could rebuild Partas Clan with just a few generations of time.
2 kids? 4 kids? 4 kids? 6 or even 8 kids? Hehehe~ I want a huge family! They will act as the role of assault, medic, support and recon... Hehehe~ A well balanced team with no flaws! What weapons should they use? What armor should they have? What teigu should they have? Will they inherit my teigu power? How should I shape their personality? What torture methods will they like to use the most? What is their aesthetic of killing? Oh Gods! I am so excited!
Happiness and the blessing of Gods just came in sudden. She was so glad that she did not let Tatsumi to pull out back to the Island so that she could receive all her seeds. This was the best choice in her life and she would never regret it.
The General kept mumbling, "Dear Tatsumi, just where are you? You are going to be a father! Come back to me! I am sure that you don't want to be late for such wonderful news!"
As Esdeath, snapped back from her "little army" fantasy. She asked the doctor, "Is there any do's and don'ts that I need to keep in mind during pregnancy?"
"Good question, General. The following list is very important. You really need to keep them in mind. That's for the safety and health for your unborn children."
"Go on."
"First, please avoid all alcohol or using any tobacco products."
"OK."
I never smoke so that ain't a problem but no alcohol? That's gonna be bad. Seems I need to stop drinking kumis for nearly a whole year…
"Second, please avoid any over exposure to cleaning solvents, mercury, pesticides and lead ."
"Alright."
Well, Tatsumi will do all the cleaning work when the time comes. I just need to wait like a princess on the sofa.
"Third, please have a balanced diet that includes folic acid, iron and calcium."
"Of course."
I am sure my dear Tatsumi will be a good cook just for me.
"Fourth, please maintain safe travel habits. You should stop riding a horse because the motion may cause you to leak and increase the chance of accidental falling when you suddenly suffer from a high blood pressure or extreme fatigue."
"Understandable."
I will use a carriage then.
"Firth, please set limits for yourself in order to reduce stress."
"Sure."
I am sure Tatsumi can entertain me all day long just by his presence.
"Also, please get more sleep. Aim for about nine hours a day."
"Not a problem."
"Lastly, please exercise regularly."
"I do it every day."
Well, all these seem easy enough.
Doctor Malikov looked really relieved that Esdeath agreed with all the do's without any problem. He continued, "Excellent General! Now, it's about the don't."
"My ears are all opened."
"First, please don't take any medicine unless your doctor approves it."
"Ok."
Doctors every day, annoying.
"Second, please don't consume unpasteurized milk or cheeses. You should also avoid fish high in mercury or raw and undercooked foods."
"Alright."
Seems I need to stop eating Wave's sushi, sashimi and those god-knows-what ugly ass looking seafood.
"Third, please don't take hot baths or use saunas. The high temperatures can be very harmful to you babies or lead you to faint."
"That's easy."
Just a shower then.
Then, the next sentence that Doctor Malikov spoke just struck deep into her soul.
"You need to stop any vigorous activity that could involve overheating like contact activities and combat. You also stay away from any heavy lifting and bending-"
"What?! I can't go fighting?! Does…does this mean that I should not go hunt down those Night Raid scums?! I can't go butcher those pathetic revolutionary cannon fodders?! Completely forbidden from combat!? This is fucking bullshit! This is unacceptable!" Esdeath roared as the room temperature became freezing again. She instantly jumped from the medical bed and grabbed Doctor Malikov by his coat's collar. Esdeath looked extremely pissed. She was fine that she could not fight with bloodshed but she definianlly could not stand not being able to stay in combat. Just moments earlier she thought she could still fight by "freezing enemies first and then shatter them into bloodless pieces" tactics effectively but what the doctor said to her just completely shattered her last resolve and hope for being combat effective. A life without warfare is unthinkable to Esdeath, even her mood swings sometimes told her to think about it for a moment, she never followed. Now, even Esdeath's motherly subconscious was begging her to stand down, Esdeath just did not give a fuck. Her last resolve was broken down, snapped completely, frustration turned into pure rage. She freezed the whole infirmary in ice, more and more ice was forming within the room, ready to condensate everything and destroy everything, even herself.
If Esdeath couldn't even fight, then there was no need to live in this world.
Doctor Malikov was so shocked by the sudden outburst of Esdeath and her sudden death wish.
God Almightly! How the hell can her mood swings be such extreme so suddenly!? Say something! Say Something! Or we are all gonna die!
"Calm down! General! Please calm down!"
"You gonna to be fucking with me! If I don't even lift or bend, then how am I supposed to fight and stay in combat!? You fucking tell me, you piece of shit! If a General can't fight, then what is the point of being as a the Empire's Strongest?! Answer me! I SAID ANSWER ME-" Esdeath kept shouting. She was going to lost control and raise havoc.
"General! Calm down! Any extreme physical activity will be very dangerous to your babies' health! You need to be extra careful! Therefore, in another word, if you kept fighting and stayed in combat, you would very likely get yourself and your own unborn kids be killed in action. For the sake of your children's safety! Please avoid any combat! Any fighting should be prohibited!"
When Esdeath heard that her children's safety were in risk, she instantly stood down and stopped her nearly exploded rampage. She proceeded to think for a while in silent calm. Then she sighed, she finally put down Doctor Malikov and sat back on the medical bed sloppily. She looked so sad and completely defeated. He told the doctor in a sad tone.
"You know that is not possible. Once I am still the general of the Empire, there are the revolutionary army and Night Raid to deal with. The war is far from over. I still need to fight."
"I understand but…the baby's health should be your priority. Just try your best to avoid any combat and better stay away from blood. Please, you need to avoid them with all cost. You need to do it by all means."
"But-"
"General, you need to decide what is the priority between your duty as a general and the obligation of a mother. As a doctor, I strongly suggest you should put the safety of your unborn children as priority. Nothing is more important than your own offspring. If you cannot take a vacation, then please consider staying in reserve within the army."
Esdeath was absolutely depressed when she heard it. It was a critical blow to her mind. Her eyes went soulless and body went completely limp.
"...I will try..."
"Please, this is for your own good and the safety of you unborn kids. I will give you some obstetrics and gynecology medicine, like pills and ointment. Please take them routinely as they can greatly ease your pain and discomfort. Please come here for regular check up. It should be once every week. However, if you are really concerned, please visit any time and I will always be here. Just keep in mind General, there is no shame for seeking help from others. As a professional, I promise that I will go all in to help you."
Esdeath still looked dead inside. She just froze on the medical bed.
When the Doctor Malikov gave Esdeath the bag of medicine, he found that Esdeath was suffering some kind of "out-of-body experience".
Doctor Malikov sighed. He could already understand the reason behind Esdeath's sudden depression. When a psychotic, homicidal and genocidal war maniac was suddenly told that she could no longer fight and needed to cease sadistic behavior and bloodlust, it was no doubt insanely difficult. Esdeath was clearly struggling with her own demon. Yes, she absolutely desired for war and was hungry for the thrill of combat but at the same time she was very concerned about the safety of her unborn kids. She was frustrated and did not know what to do.
Doctor Malikov could clearly tell that Esdeath loved her unborn children wholeheartedly. Those kind eyes when she looked at her unborn babies through the screen, the gentle way that she tried to communicate with her twins, Doctor Malikov could only see motherly affection and kindness from Esdeath to her children. The sensation was absolutely heartwarming, even though he had already seen it far too many times back in his own hospital in the Federal Republic of Eastern Continent. To him, such touching scene never got old no matter how many times he saw it.
Doctor Malikov was very sure that Esdeath would eventually choose her own kid rather than her lust for battle. However, the process was very hard. He currently could not help her anymore because further conversation would very likely further provoke her depression, stress and frustration which was extremely dangerous for Esdeath and her unborn kids. There was nothing he could do now. At least in recent days coming, this is a battle of Esdeath and her own ego. This is a war of her own.
I will try my best to help her both directly and indirectly. This is the mission of every good doctor after all.
Doctor Malikov silently and sneakily put some of his personal medical books about pregnancy health in the bag and gave it to Esdeath.
The General just took it with no response and left the infirmary room with heavy steps. She was like a dead man walking.
After the door closed, Doctor Malikov found himself sweating all over his face and coat, his handkerchief was already so watery like it had just been just thrown into a swimming pool. Doctor Malikov felt being scared, nervous, heart touched and compassionate all in the same time. This was really a bizarre experience.
Doctor Malikov poured himself a cup of coffee slowly and sat back on his chair while panting, his hand shook a little but no coffee was spilling. He took a sip and finally calmed down completely.
I remember Esdeath kept mentioning a man named Tatsumi as the twin's father. Whoever he is, he is a real man's man, the CHAD among CHADs. Not gonna lie but...being able to mate the most psychotic, homicidal and genocidal woman ever existed, has a twin with her that receives her full affection...God almighty, this Tatsumi truly got the balls of titanium steel. Can't even believe such an ultra-GigaChad actually does existed.
Then Doctor Malikov took another sip of the coffee, he mumbled, "I swear to God, with one more day I stay within the Empire, my chance of suffering from a stroke or sudden heart attack will increase by 25% per day progressively."
Back in Esdeath's Personal Quarters
Esdeath sat on her queen sized bed like a middle aged broken man who just lost everything in her life. She looked like suffering a complete mental breakdown. Her mind was in utter chaos and in a massive clusterfuck. She kept thinking and thinking...
Who was Esdeath Partas?
She loved killing and torturing. She lived by my father's "The strong survive and the weak die" code all along. She enjoyed the thrill of fighting and combat, putting her enemies in havoc and utter misery.
Yet, just like the doctor had said due to the sky high estrogen and progesterone levels was sky high hormone, estrogen and progesterone levels, Esdeath was now with too much emotion and it made her weak. It made her helpless and hopeless. She hated herself. She absolutely hated her current self.
As Esdeath kept thinking, She became more and more angry by her own inconsistency.
A warrior who couldn't fight was not only weak but completely worthless!
Esdeath finally snapped and her rage bursted out uncontrollably. She frantically roared aloud, "If I can't fight then I have no purpose to live! Is this bullshit of a doctor suggesting me to stay out of combat!? This is WEAK! An excuse of a coward!"
With sheer anger, screamed out of frustration again. She stared angrily at her belly, an ice long sword was summoned in her hand subconsciously. She raised her arm and the sword high, ready to stab into her belly.
"What a worthless burden! I am going to rip these fucking little bastards out of my-"
Just as Esdeath was about to stab, she snapped back as she suddenly realized who she was trying to do...not only implying to her lovely children "worthless burden"...she also tried to kill them right in the spot...ready rip them out directly from her womb...with her own hands.
Bottomless shame, infinite guilt, horror and disgust immediately erupted and struck deep into her soul.
Just how could a mother do such undescribable crime and horror to their own children. The baby twins were supposed to be the one that Esdeath loved wholeheartedly. They were supposed to be the one that she would protect unconditionally. Even the most fierce tigress and the most fearsome lioness would not even hurt their own offspring.
What was Esdeath Partas?
Was she even worse than a mere animal? Was she even worth being a human?
The sins and guilt of attempting to murder and nearly killed her own unborn children caused Esdeath to completely broken down mentally and physically. With her already unstable emotional status caused by hormone, estrogen and progesterone. She cried aloud hysterically and tears spilled all around uncontrollably. While she was crying in madness, Esdeath kept rubbing her belly with care of infinite undescribable guilt and extremely apologetic. She felt disgusted, regretful, shocked, horrified, sorrow and angry by her own wording and horrific actions.
Esdeath nearly committed filicide, one of the worst crime that a human being could ever done. No...she already committed the crime of "attempted filicide".
She was a monster. She was a demon. She was a filicidal fiend. She was a devil. She would forever damned by the Gods. She could never forgive herself. She hated herself. She didn't even deserved to be a mother. She was an absolute disgrace of humankind. She was the living embodiment of the bottom of human filth.
Esdeath could not even spend a mere nanosecond to imagine what if she really did it? What if she really stabbed it...
The guilt, the pain, the sorrow, the horror, the disgust, the shame, the rage, the hate...
Esdeath kept apologizing to her two month old baby siblings like a poor mentally ill patient suffering from a major depressive disorder.
"Mommy is sorry…Mommy is sorry …Please forgive me…I don't mean to hurt you...I never meant to...I don't mean to scold you…I…I am just…I don't know…I felt frustrated…Please forgive me…Mommy loves you no matter what…I love you…I love you…Mommy is sorry…Please forgive me…Mommy is sorry…"
"I deserve death...I deserve all the punishment that worst then death...Sorry...Sorry...I am sorry...Can you forgive me...I beg of you two! Mommy is wrong! Please forgive me...Can't you hear me...Please response to me! Don't leave me! Please don't abandon me! I am sorry! I am sorry! I am SO SORRY! I SAID I AM SO SORRY!..."
Esdeath was completely lost and her mind was absolutely disorientated. The last bit of her sanity was broken. Her resolve shattered. She was in the status of complete mental breakdown. She just kept screaming her lungs out hysterically, kept crying until her eyeballs went dry and became bloody red crazily.
Eventually, after a few hours of fanatical and hysterical heart-tearing crying and screaming, Esdeath was completely exhausted and fell asleep on the bed unconsciously.
In her sleep, tears still dripped from her eyes while she still covered her belly gently with care, affection with infinite guilt, pain, sorrow and extremely apologetic, seemingly still trying to protect and still apologise to her unborn children, still begging for their forgiveness even though she was in defenceless sleep.
Even in her deep sleep, Esdeath still sleep-talked subconsciously with a broken sobbing, weak, dry and hoarseness sorrowful voice constantly over and over again. She just looked so pitiful, so hurtful, so pathetic and so vulnerable.
"What should I do, Tatsumi? Can you forgive me if you know what have I done today? Will the kids ever forgive me? I miss you so much...Tatsumi...Please come back...I beg of you...The kids need you now...I need you...We need your help... Just where are you?...Tatsumi, please don't abandon me...Please don't leave us...Please don't shun me... and don't shun your kids away...Please...Without you...I don't know what to do...what to live...Tatsumi, what should we do?..."
Author's note
This Chapter 1 is really hard to write. In order to write about Esdeath's inner struggle and pregnancy depression, Esdeath's action and dialogue maybe a bit conflict with each other and with some strange pacing with over the top description. Esdeath may repeat similar dialogues more than once. The tone of narration this chapter is also quite messy and bizarre, from "teenage drama" to over joy then suddenly to bottomless sorrow and so on. I hope that it doesn't give you guy a hard time since these are all intentional as I hope that it can effectively portray a depressed person with a very chaotic, confused, extremely irrational and utterly frustrated mindset with nearly mental breakdown because Esdeath was in a state of constant self-denial as she don't even know who she was and could not decide what she wanted to be. I hope that I didn't cross the line and make this chapter a massive clusterfuck. I sincerely hope that I did an OK job to portray pregnancy health issues and depressions.
Sorry that Esdeath would seem very vulnerable in this chapter. However, her emotion maybe unstable but her strategic minds are still clear as ever. No matter what happened, please keep in mind that Esdeath was still a master tactician and strategist. I have no intension to make her weak except this "pregnancy depression" angle/arc.
About Esdeath's "DEEP DARK FANTASY" on Tatsumi at the start of this chapter. Such type of BDSM will never happen and is rightfully forbidden in this story. If you are the type of guy like me who will instantly drop the story when seeing a toxic relationship, this fanfiction will then be very safe and is perfectly designed for you. Healthy romance and traditional family values are promoted in this fanfiction...well...sort of…
For the convenience and the future development of the plot, ultrasound machine was already invented in this fanfiction universe but only in parts of Eastern Continent. Further lore and the world settings of this fanfiction will be explained in the next chapter.
There are actually a few references and tribute in this chapter. That tactical nuke is obviously a MW2 reference. The stasis bomb is a Warhammer 40k one. These 2 technologies of course did not exist in this fanfiction universe since they are just too OP. We also get the classic "HE'S FAT" and "FATASS" from numerous Scott Steiner's infamous wrestling promotes, just for the FATASS Prime Minister Honest. Hey, don't forget that Battlefield series's "assault, medic, support and recon" classification and the CHAD memes! Hope you can have a cheerful laugh with it. Also, guess why Doctor Malikov could always look and act so calm when facing Esdeath, well...at least on surface.
About the Empire's religion, let's just call it "Imperial Cult", a polytheism similar to Indo-European Paganism. You have your typical Proto-Indo-European "heavenly deities", "nature deities" and "societal deities". I won't expand them since they are just a background. Imperial citizens and officals like Esdeath would usually address these deities as the Gods, thus frequently used as slangs in dialogues like "Gods!" and "By the Gods!" to express shock. This will be a clear contrast to Doctor Malikov's "God Almighty". For the reasons behind these minor dialogue details, you would find in next chapter. The "Path of Peace" do existed but they are just not that fun to write so I just created this so called "Imperial Cult" to fill in the gap of lack of religion of the Empire.
You may wonder why Esdeath drank kumis. Well, remember she was a northern nomad when she was small. Therefore, I plan to give her a more steppe nomad aesthetic and style since the original Esdeath in anime feels nothing like that. She just acted so "normal'' and resembled little to nothing from her past(of course except his father's teaching and childhood tragedy).
Let's see how a history SIMP like me will redesign Esdeath's minor daily behaviours in this fanfiction.
I don't know what you guys think but to me, the fashion and patterns of Young Esdeath's clothing(childhood flashback in Episode 14) resemble a lot to the common male costumes of late Romans/early Byzantines, late antiquity Germanic peoples and early Slavs/Pannonian Avars(Yes, fashion during Migration Period shared a lot of similarities, no matter you are a "civilized Greco-Roman" or a "barbarian"). There is still one more bizarre observation yet to come. The aesthetic of Esdeath's Partas Clan somehow remind me about those pre-Russian medieval Siberian tribal clans after reading Mr. M. Gorelik's wonder historical artworks. Please don't think that I am having a over-interpretation or something. I am quite sure that the author of Akame Ga Kill has never read anything about late antiquity and early medieval history or even any Osprey's military history books. He is most likely just putting some random patterns on it. I am well aware they are just my crazy fetish and bizarre fantasy imaginations.
However, ain't imagination the most important driving force of fanfiction? Thinking in such creative way is really fun! Imagine having a motherly Pannonian Avar Esdeath teaching her kids how to ride horses in true steppe nomad style or a badass Sarmatian Esdeath fought mounted as cataphract in ice lamellar armor, that would be both heartwarming and pure freaking awesome!
Jesus Christ! I guess I am the only one in this world to have a super strange fetish of seeing Esdeath as a Eurasian Nomad, no matter is she Sarmatian or Hunnic, Mongolic or Turkic... God almighty! What is wrong with me?
Anyways! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! PM and comments are always welcomed!