"I'm pregnant"

Castle's eyes don't leave hers and he's quiet, speechless, which giving the fact he's a bestselling novelist, was the last thing she expected.

What was I really expecting though? Kate Beckett wonders. She came by because he needed to know. And she needed his words, his comfort, to reassure her that everything would be fine. That they could get through anything life threw at them. But this? A baby? Even Castle, the optimistic person he is, is beyond shocked.

"Rick" She begs "Please say something"

He moves his hand up to rub his face, gather his thoughts.

"A baby?" The writer asks in disbelief, eyes as serious as ever. When he saw Beckett waltz through his front door, panic plastered all over her face, his mind ran every possible scenario he could think of. Except this one. This really was the last thing he expected to leave her mouth.

"I'm sorry, Castle" Her gaze falls back to the hands still on her lap.

"Hey" He calls her out. Pulling her into his side, keeping her close. She buries her face in the crock of his neck, enjoying the peace before the war. "It takes two to tango" Castle tells her and she chuckles. Even in the most unorthodox situations, he manages to make her laugh. Kate has come to realize over the years, that his jokes often come as a defense mechanism to his fears. Hiding behind the joke, that is.

"How far?" The question leaves his mouth in a low raspy voice.

She looks up at him, tears still threatening to roll down her perfectly framed face "Ryan's wedding" And at the admission, Castle can't help but drop a kiss to her forehead, inhaling her scent, and she closes her eyes.

"I want to keep it" It leaves her mouth after a few minutes of silence. Neither of them sure of what could or should be said in a situation like this.

His eyes smile at her, hopeful irises shinning in awe "Really?" He questions. As much as he knew Kate Beckett, knew that she was the last person in the world to even consider it, he also knew how much her job meant to her, how she needed to find her mother's killer. Speaking of which...no, he won't bring that up right now. Not when she's already got a bigger thing to deal with right at this moment. He needs to tell her how he's been meeting up with this man and keeping her away from Johanna's case in order to keep her safe. He does. But not now.

"Castle" She hisses, as if she's angry at him for even thinking she was capable of something like that "It's our baby" Just saying it out loud made a shiver travel up her spine. She is pregnant. "Of course, I didn't expect it, neither of us did, that's obvious. But It's our baby. You didn't think I was in this just for the sex, did you?" Her finger motions to the space between the two of them.

"No, no, no. And neither am I, Kate" He hugs her tighter "I'm sorry, but we'll get through it, right? We'll find a pace, together, the three of us"

"I'm so scared" She sobs. "So scared, Castle" The writer can already feel the wetness of her tears trespassing his dress shirt. He wants to tell her that he is also scared, but the last thing she needs is for the both of them to panic over the fact that in eight months they'll have a new born in their arms.

"I'll always be here, Kate. I hope you know that. What I told you that day in the cemetery hasn't changed. If anything, it has only grown" She sniffles against him, looking up at him just to crash her mouth against his, tongues and teeth colliding.

"You have no idea how much that means to me"

"Actually, I think I do" And then they snuggle onto each other again, hoping to alleviate the fears both have with just the press of each other's bodies.

"Richard" A voice echoes "I'm home" Martha Rodgers enters her home hoping to find her son sitting lonely in his office furiously typing on that computer of his. But what she finds, when she looks around the room, is everything but that.

Sleeping on the couch, is Richard and Katherine. Her son's arms around her shoulders, pulling her body to his, and the detective has her head on his chest, one hand clinging onto his shirt as if she was having a nightmare. Neither of them moves.

Martha has had her suspicions. Castle's late-night dinners and an awful lot of walks of shame in the morning had given him away, but never, in her most sane mind, did the actress imagine it would be with Kate. Yes. She knew this was bound to happen, but not so soon, not when they were both clearly not ready. She's a believer in perfect timing, and their lack of communication was a sign that they needed time before diving into something that she knew would turn out to be extraordinary.

"Stay in bed, Rick" The detective mumbles, eyes still closed, as Castle moves to rearrange his position, slowly becoming conscious of his surroundings. Martha can't help but chuckle at the image. From the looks of it, this must have started for a while now. She's standing behind the couch, their backs facing her as Castle wakes the detective with a kiss on her clothed shoulder.

"Kate, wake up" He tells her. Stretching his arms above his head.

" 'ime is it?" Her sleepy voice questions.

"Don't know" His hand moves to her thigh "Want to grab something to eat?"

"I should probably go, Castle. Before your mother or daughter arrives"

"Daughter" The writer repeats her words, suddenly remembering the reason she's here in the first place. But his thoughts are cut with a sharp knife when a voice that doesn't belong to Kate chimes in.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, darlings. But it's a little bit late to escape now"

The couple comically jumps from the couch in sync, standing up in mirror movements. Glancing at each other in panic. Beckett's leg hitting the coffee table almost making her fall before Castle grabs her back in a clumsy reflex.

"H-Hi" Kate starts "How are you, Martha?"

"Oh, Katherine. No need to be shy. I'm really happy for the two of you" She tells them, gathering stuff around the kitchen. And from the looks of it, Castle guesses she's about to make one of her 'famous' green smoothies.

"I should go" Kate tells the writer. Already grabbing the jacket sleeping on the back of the couch.

"No sense. Stay as long as you want" Martha says. Turning on the blending machine "I'm preparing a smoothie"

"That's not a smoothie mother" Castle interjects pushing Beckett with him to the stall. "That's like that lab experiment I did with Alexis when she was nine"

"This is a detox, Richard" The older woman announces pouring some into a glass. "Anyone served?" Castle glances to the woman next to him, but she doesn't look very pleased with the offer, she even looks disgusted, as if... oh... oh yes, most certainly...

The writer grabs Kate's hand "Actually... we were just about to go to bed... rest..." He's already pulling her with him towards his bedroom "It was a tough case, you know" opens the door before shouting "Goodbye, mother"

"You okay?" He questions her, rubbing her back as the detective moves to the sink to rinse her mouth.

"It was the first time I threw up at the smell of something" She admits, nose scrunching up just at the thought. She finds his blues through the mirror, he looks defeated, sad even "hey" She calls out cleaning her hands on a towel "you can talk to me" and gives him a soft upturn of lips.

"What do you want me to say?" At this tone used, Beckett turns around to break the mirror barriers between them.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me, I can handle it"

"Can you, though?"

"Rick..."

"Kate, how are we even supposed to do this? We've been running around for a little over a month and I have no idea where this is going... and now you're pregnant. I know your head is as confused as mine but..."

"You have no idea where this is going?!" She questions back in disbelief motioning her hand between their bodies. Then moves to get out of the bathroom, presumably to leave. Rick mumbling a shit under his breath. "I am not even going to bother myself with this conversation"

Before she has the chance to escape, he's fast enough to grab her by the upper arm and turn her around, more aggressively than intended, so that leaves them inches apart. She doesn't meet his eyes, and that makes him squeeze his grip around her arm tighter.

Kate forces her arm out of his hand, and at the brutality of the movement, he moves back, gives her the space he knows she needs and deserves. And now her eyes move up to pierce through his, as if in challenge.

"You want to know where this is going in my head?" The way she snaps at him makes him feel like an ass more than what he was already feeling from his words earlier. The writer accepts, that from her point of view, she has every right to be angry.

"I've got no clue as to when the shift happened" She exhales, still challenging his eyes with a fierce glare "But I was used to an empty apartment, to my lonely bed where my dreams were filled with blood and murders" He winces inside, notices she chose those words over her mother's name "...and I got used to it, had made my peace with it" Now she shifts, unlocking his eyes from hers to stare at her feet "But suddenly, my dreams changed. And I started dreaming differently, glimpses of various possibilities of what my future could look like. And guess what? There was always only one constant participant. You" She looks up at him again in defiance "So don't you dare stand there and look me in the eye to question my commitment to you just because I can't express those three words to your face just yet"

And just like that... she leaves. The bang of the front door echoing in his large apartment.

Kate Beckett manages all her strength to take a quick shower. Some cold water to refresh her darkened emotional state.

With a towel wrapped around her body and wet hair falling down her shoulders, she faces the foggy mirror... even through the steam inside the room she can point her swollen red eyes in seconds. Everything had been so perfect between them for the past month, she thought nothing could go wrong now that they have crossed that boundary between partners and partners. She does feel it for him, that inexplicable force that pulls them together, the tightness in the pit of her stomach every time she spots him, the need to protect him from everything. God... that man tried to save her from being shot by putting himself in the crossfire... what else does the universe has to show her for her to believe that this is it, that she's settling down once and for all.

Castle's outburst was completely inappropriate, though. Why can't he understand her? Because she doesn't know what else to do to make him believe that this is all that she ever wanted, that he was all she ever needed. And her reaction was probably a bit dramatic as well, but she's stuck, and his words got to her in a way she never thought possible, in a way no other man had been able to reach... ever. Except for her father, in a different way, of course.

The detective realizes she's back to teary eyes when she jumps as a loud drum cuts her line of thought. She moves through the house until she reaches the front door. It's past midnight... who on earth is banging her door like that. Peeking the peephole there he is. Standing like a little boy outside her apartment. She sighs, but has to admit that even though he's the last person she wants to talk to right now, there was a part of her ever since she walked out of his door, that desperately wanted him to follow her here.

"Kate, please open the door. I saw you peaking"

She opens the door slowly, insecure to let him take a look at her face and realize she has been crying all along, her eyes hidden by a curtain of long wavy hair.

"Can I come in?" And as she sniffles back her sobs he realizes her state, walking in before her permission as he closes the door behind him.

Beckett falls into his arms almost immediately. Completely unware that he's holding onto something in one of his hands. He holds her close, tight, burying his nose in her wet hair, tears threating to leave his eyes as well.

"I'm sorry" The writer whispers and he feels her stiffen in his arms. They're both a total mess at this point. "I shouldn't have said what I did. And I'm sorry for that"

She untangles herself from him "I'll go get dressed" She says before walking away. Castle just rubs his face before following her to her room.

When he enters, the towel she had around herself is already halfway towards the floor, which gives him quite a view now. The detective doesn't acknowledge his presence, if she does she's very good at pretending the opposite. And now that he's seeing her naked, walking around the room, after the news earlier, he can finally see it: The way her breasts have swollen, her nipples have darkened just a shade (for now) and how her belly isn't as flat as it was before. No one could point these changes, but he knew her body, had already memorized every line her body owns.

"I brought something" He announces as she pulls the NYPD hoodie over her head. She looks in his direction unfazed, which tells him she had felt him in the room, that doesn't stop him, though.

He walks closer to her, still holding the object behind his back as her eyes meet his in a mix of vulnerability and hurt in them, yet the curiosity pricks through them. The detective meets him halfway, making them stay close to the foot of her queen-sized bed.

"This is Monkey Bunkey" Castle announces, extending the clearly worn out, yet well loved, stuffed animal. Beckett grabs it uncertainly. Looks down at it with tears already threatening. What is wrong with me and the ocean of tears today?

"It was Alexis'" The writer explains. "She used to take him everywhere with her" She's not looking at him again, but he goes on "She was so attached to it that she wouldn't even let me wash it"

"Cas..."She tries, but her voice fails her.

"Alexis put it away after deciding that it was time to 'grow up'. So, I took liberty to take my rights over him. Pass him to someone else that hopefully will cherish it the way she did when she was young" Their eyes meet as she lifts her chin "To Alexis' sibling"

Castle watches as Beckett holds onto the monkey tightly, even though he knows she's angry at him he can see that she is touched by the gesture. He wants her to know how committed he is to them. To the three of them.

She sit-falls on the bed, holding the animal closer to her chest as tears slowly start running down her perfectly framed cheeks. So, he follows, sits next to her, not touching her since he doesn't know where he stands yet... again.

"Monkey Bunkey aside, I came by to apologize." The writer rubs his face before continuing. "What came out of my mouth was wrong, and I feel like a jackass for saying it."

"You should" He hears her mumble under her breath, still cuddled against the animal instead of him.

"And I do, and I'm not here to excuse myself with some lame story but here's the truth, which I don't know if I have ever told you." He inhales before continuing "I have this inexplicable feeling inside of me, that has a foot out the door when it comes to commitment, not on my side, I just feel like whenever I'm with someone, that person might just get up and leave because I got boring, or because I wasn't good enough. I guess this was born after Meredith."

"Alexis' mother?" She questions him, incredulous. She knew they were young at the time, but what the hell happened with her that has him blaming herself for the way he faces relationships?

"Alexis was barely two years old, and our marriage was something forced out of her pregnancy, now I look back and realize it was never meant to last..." He's in tears now as well, and that's when she listens more closely "But it still hurt like hell when I got home one day and found her in our bed with her director, my baby girl sleeping upstairs, completely oblivious to the fight that blossomed."

"Cast..."Her voice once again fails her, but she manages to hold onto the animal in one arms, as the other wraps around his waist, her head falling to his shoulder.

"We all have toxic traits, and mine is this one. I know how to love someone, but I guess I don't know how to be loved by anyone"

"God, Rick" She moves to his lap, Monkey Bunkey between them. "I do, I really really do" And he knows exactly what she means by it as her hands grab his cheeks to pull his lips to hers in a wet sloppy kiss that tastes like salt water from both their tears.

Foreheads resting against each other, they regain their composure slowly "The two of us... we make quite a pair" She admits with a small yet sad chuckle.

"Two broken people" He breaths "We'll find a way to fix each other" She smiles into the kiss as he leans into her again.

"Three" She corrects him.

"What?"

"Three people" She smiles at him, his smile also widening as she motions her head down, to where Monkey Bunkey rests between both their stomachs. He turns her around in his lap, so she can rest her back to his chest and he can wrap his arms around her. Hands immediately sneaking under her NYPD hoodie. Caressing her belly as if he can't still believe it. Her hands find his under the clothes.

"We'll be okay" Kate tells him as her temple meets his.