Granger looked as if nothing had ever happened.
Draco would have loved to send a nasty hex her way. How could she sit so happy in Potions on Monday morning, even nodding at him as a greeting, and act as if nothing had happened between them?
He was glad Theo was his partner today. He did not know what had happened, so he did not ask any questions and worked on the potion alone while Draco stared grimly at his sheet of parchment with the instructions written down. He never thought that having sex could feel so awful.
What in Merlin's name did she mean by not being ashamed? Would she be ashamed to be open about having slept with him? Would that be so unbearable for her? Because she was the war heroine and he was the former Death Eater who was no longer worth anything? Was she seriously ashamed of him?
He noticed how he unconsciously clenched his hands into fists. All Sunday he had tried to distract himself and stop thinking about it. But as soon as Monday came along and the first class together with Granger, all that was a wasted. He saw her, and immediately his body remembered the unbelievably good sex. And then came the memory of her cold rebuff afterwards.
Taking a deep breath, he unclenched his hands. There was no point in getting upset with Granger. If she wanted to treat him like a dirty secret, then she could stay away from him. She was the one fantasising about him. He did not need her.
"What can I do?" he quietly asked Theo, who was busy pounding ingredients beside him.
"Ah, you woke up?" whispered Theo softly to him. "Did you have a nice beauty sleep?"
Struck, Draco stared at his friend. Usually it was Blaise who teased him like this. Hearing the same from Theodore hurt. "Sorry, I'm just a bit out of it."
His friend let go of the ingredients and turned to face him fully. Beneath the brown curls that fell low on his forehead, two green eyes stared intently at him. "Draco. Whatever is going on right now shouldn't affect your performance in class. I'm happy to do your share of the work, but staring completely absentmindedly ahead of you is not an option."
Frustrated, Draco ran a hand through his hair. "I know that, man. I'm not doing this on purpose."
Theo's eyes narrowed for a moment, then he turned back to the countertop, shrugging. "I know this is a foreign concept to you, but I once heard that it helps to talk out what's bothering you."
Grimly, Draco grabbed a knife and began cutting up the flobberworms for the final step. He had hoped Theo would not ask him any questions. Theo never asked questions, he appreciated that about this friend. He tried to concentrate on the work in front of him, but he felt too clearly that Theo kept looking at him from the side.
Finally, with an annoyed sigh, he gave up. "Okay, fine, Mr. Amateur Therapist, what do you want to know?"
Briefly, Draco thought his friend was giving him the silent treatment, because he remained silent for a very long moment. Then, finally, without looking to him or interrupting his work, Theo asked, "What's going on between you and Granger?"
Draco was glad he had put the knife aside. He did not expect such a direct attack from his usually reserved classmate. And he did not have an answer either, because he did not know himself.
What was going on between him and Granger?
Uncertainly, his gaze wandered across the classroom to her. She was standing at her desk with her sleeves rolled up, her tied hair tangled from the damp heat of the various cauldrons. Her bra was showing very slightly under her white blouse, but she did not seem to mind. She seemed focused, although she kept exchanging a few words with the youngest Weasley next to her.
There was nothing to suggest that she had had an extraordinary weekend.
"Judging by that murderous look on your face, you're back on the warpath?"
Jerking away, Draco glanced at Theo. He had not even noticed how his eyebrows furrowed and his lips tightened into a thin line. He could not help it, whenever he looked to Granger or even thought of her, he became angry beyond measure.
"There's nothing going on between us," he finally spat out. "She'd just be embarrassed to be seen with me anyway."
Instantly Draco realised that he had said too much with that. Theo slowly turned his whole body to face him, one eyebrow raised, one hand on the table, the other propped on his knee. "Being seen with you?"
"I didn't mean that," he tried to quickly deflect. "I just mean Granger would never bother with me anyway, so none of that matters anyway."
Theo put a hand to his chin and tapped his cheek with his index finger. "But you'd put up with her?" He indicated quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
Inwardly, Draco cursed himself. He was usually so good at keeping everything to himself. Why did he have to have such a big mouth and talk such nonsense now? He tried to adopt a condescending expression as he replied, "Me? With her? Wouldn't dream of it."
Theo just stared at him for a very long time, one eyebrow still raised. Draco tried to hold his gaze, to give his words more weight. He would never admit that he had slept with Granger, let alone that he had enjoyed the sex. Over his dead body.
"Well, if you say so."
With those words, Theo turned back to the table and continued to chop the ingredients. For a moment longer, Draco looked at him. He knew, he just knew, that his friend did not believe a word he said. He dropped it now, but there was a good chance he would be watching his every move from now on.
A movement in his field of vision distracted him. At the other end of the classroom, Granger turned around, obviously noticing that he was looking in her approximate direction. A brief smile flitted across her lips before she returned to her work.
She had smiled at him.
What in the name of the holy Nimue was he supposed to do with that? Was she making fun of him? Was she secretly laughing at him for getting involved with her after years of treating her like scum? Was this her revenge for all the years he had admittedly not been very nice to her? Had this been her plan from the beginning? Had she speculated that he would run into her in the bathroom?
Anger rose up in him again. He knew by now how incredibly stupid and despicable some of his actions had been. He could understand that she did not like him. He did not like her either. But that did not give her the right to treat him like scum now. To just use him and then push him into the dirt.
Nobody laughed at Draco Malfoy.