Summer vacation begins. They're told to not slack off and do their best to stay in shape; to keep practicing molding chakra and the leaf sticking exercise. She takes it one step further and practices while doing her tai chi exercises. Which, while still difficult, becomes easier as the summer progresses.
She saves up her allowances again, though there's been a notable decrease in the frequency, and eats with her family to save on snacking expenses. They pointedly do not ask her about the Academy. Or ask about much, really.
They don't assign her chores at all anymore—no more requests to run messages to the old lady at the herb shop, or a few ryō to pick up tōfu… She makes peace with it and spends more time with Rin, Obito, and Guy.
Obito already knows a couple of ninja techniques—one being the Great Fireball Technique. It's clan specific though, a coming of age rite, so he won't teach it to her.
He also knows Katon: Ryūka no Jutsu, or Fire Release: Dragon Fire Technique.
"Ryūka no Jutsu is easier anyhow!" Obito tells her. "The seals are Snake, Dragon, Rabbit, and Tiger. It's a fire breathing technique, too!"
She practices the sequence a couple times while Obito tries to explain how to mold the chakra, which is just him making a lot of dragon noises and spitting everywhere… He has a unique way of explaining things.
With Guy, she attempts to keep up with his insane challenges. He's named her his second rival, and she is determined to perform.
He challenges her to an all you can eat barbecue competition.
If they can eat the entire thing, it's free, and neither of them has the money to spare—so losing is not an option. They force themselves to eat everything, and it's a tie in the end.
She thinks it nearly killed her. Death by overeating, that'd be something.
She arrives at Rin's place to see Obito and Guy waiting for her. She doesn't think they had any plans to meet today—but she sometimes forgets minor details like that. They're all wearing black, and Rin's father is standing with his crutch.
She freezes in the doorway. Obito's cheeks are tear stained. Oh.
Honōka looks Rin's father in the eye.
"Nohara-oji-san… Who died?"
Sōji purses his lips.
"Hatake Sakumo-dono."
Kakashi's father, the man with the gentle smile and warm laugh.
Rin rushes forward, hugging her tightly. Rin is taller than she is—her tears disappear into Rin's shirt collar. Oh.
"Get changed. The funeral's in an hour. Rin laid out an outfit for you upstairs."
After numbly getting ready, they head to the Yamanaka's flower shop to purchase a white chrysanthemum each to lay on Sakumo's grave and attend the funeral together. Which is rather sparsely put together. They stand a respectable distance from the front, where Kakashi is the only person in the first row at all. The Hatake Clan must not have any family members left.
She feels numb and more than a little heavy chested.
This… this is probably what she has to look forward to as a shinobi herself.
The service is brief, and almost too soon they're called to lay the flowers on the grave. There are a few people standing around, just watching. They have no flowers to place or condolences to offer. The hairs on the back of her neck stand.
Tension is heavy in the air, and she asks herself why so few people are paying their respects to Hatake Sakumo. He's a hero, isn't he?
"Ah… he threw the mission and couldn't deal with the consequences? He should have just died when he had the chance."
Kakashi's small shoulders tremble and stiffen, drawn tight like a bow with no arrow to loose. Honōka's chest hurts.
"Can you blame him? I'd rather die than bear the shame of failure too." Laughter. They're laughing at Sakumo.
Angry tears drip down her face. Her lip quivers, and she doesn't know how to direct these raw, overwhelming feelings. All she can think is that Kakashi can hear these pathetic rats chittering!
"What's stopping you then?!" she yells at them, squeezing every last drop of vitriol she can from her lungs.
They zero in on her small form, uncrossing their arms and glaring at her. She chokes down her scalding fury, swallows it, and breathes it like fire.
"If you can't bear the shame of doing the right thing, you have no right coming here to complain!"
One opens their mouth, and she glares through her burning tears. Acid wells up in her throat.
"Leave!"
Sōji clamps a hand on her shoulder, silently reeling her in with a steady pulse. Cool it, he seems to caution.
Her outburst got the point across and he is by no means admonishing her in front of these ungrateful idiots. He agrees with her, and they know it. So they take the hint and scram.
"Jeez, kid. Tone down the aura. You can't just go projecting that much killing intent at allies."
Rin, Obito, and Guy are shell-shocked—that was not the kind of reaction they expected from Honōka.
She scrubs her eyes and sniffles loudly.
"I'm sorry... It's not fair. I didn't know Hatake-san well, but I could tell he was a good person. It's not fair. Why do good people die for trash like them?" She struggles to hold back her sobs—Kakashi is the one who's really hurting!
Of course, her crying is like a damn breaking and then Rin and Obito and Guy are crying too. Kakashi's back remains to them, chin tucked to his chest. His tiny shoulders tremble.
Summer passes.
The first day back to class is odd. Honōka reasons it just feels weird to be back to a schedule after being without for so long.
She sits in her usual spot.
Kakashi sits in his usual spot.
Jūn-sensei enters and calls the class to order. Obito slams the door open with a hurried apology and outlandish excuse. Sensei barks at him to take a seat.
"First, welcome back. I see we're all in one piece—good, good!" If his eyes linger on Kakashi, no one is the wiser—or they tactfully pretend to not notice. "This is term two. We'll officially begin learning ninjutsu now. Ninjutsu theory will be right before lunch hour, and practicals will be directly after."
He lists a couple other changes, then finishes what Honōka equates to homeroom period with one last announcement.
"Ah, and while I don't expect this to apply to any of you yet, this term's graduation exam can be challenged on September tenth. It takes place in the morning. If you wish to challenge, please inform me before class begins on that day."
The morning passes, and ninjutsu theory is up.
"Alright, who's been listening this year? What are the three ninjutsu you're all required to learn before graduating?"
Kurenai raises her hand and answers. "Henge no Jutsu, Kawarimi no Jutsu, and Bunshin no Jutsu."
"Right you are, Kurenai-kun." Jūn-sensei sizes them up. "Does anyone know any other jutsu?"
Hands fly up.
"Obito-kun?"
"Gōkakyū no Jutsu…! And Ryūka no Jutsu!"
"Good, good! The Uchiha Clan are particularly well versed in those techniques."
The kids name a few other jutsu.
"Very good! We'll take a break for lunch now. After, we'll be seeing some of these jutsu in practice!"
She eats lunch with Rin, Obito, and Guy. They take out their bentō and the three of them are about to put various things in her bentō, as is their custom.
She signs for them to stop using Shinobi Sign Language. She (rather dramatically) reveals her bentō's contents.
"Woah!" Obito exclaims. Rin claps.
"Honōka, my rival! Does this mean what I think?!"
She nods proudly.
"Mikumo-nī taught me how to use the kitchen over the break."
"Who's that?" Obito asks. "A neighbor?"
She looks at him funny.
"He's my brother?" She just said so.
"What?! You have a brother?"
"I have several siblings."
Her friends are in various states of shock. It seems most shinobi only have one or two kids. Big families are maybe not as common as she thought.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
She's more and more confused.
"You didn't ask?"
Rin face palms and asks for the details. Rin makes it her business to know everything about her friends, after all.
"Ah. Well. There's Ichi-nī—Ichimaru. He's the oldest boy, so he's inheriting the bathhouse. Then it's Sachiko, she's already married and left the household; I haven't seen her in a couple years. After her it's the twins, Mikumo and Manaka. Mikumo-nī is apprenticing as a tool smith. Manaka helps Okā-san run the bathhouse. She's getting married in two year's time to a spice merchant's son."
Obito reels in his shock.
"Uwah! Honōka, you have a big family!"
She awkwardly plays with her bentō, poking the salty boiled yam until falls apart.
Rin considers her silence.
"They… don't have much time for you, do they, Honōka-chan?"
Obito and Guy can't believe she would outright say it. They've all gotten an inkling of the inattention Honōka is used to—they just didn't realize she had so many family members around to be giving it, and just… not.
She shrugs.
"They're busy with the bathhouse, and I came after all my other siblings were raised."
Rin frowns. Honōka can feel her frustration.
They say no more about it—and still give tribute to Honōka's bentō.
They meet Jūn-sensei outside after lunch, where he promptly poofs away, leaving a training dummy in his place. He clears his throat and they all turn—there's three of him! Then, two poofs and one is gone, and another reveals the teacher from across the hall, Shimozūki Tora-sensei.
Everyone is clapping, and Honōka is swamped by a wave of awe, excitement, and eagerness. She's kind of feeling it too.
Jūn-sensei clears his throat again.
"Today, Tora-sensei will be assisting us."
Everyone bows to Tora-sensei. He coughs.
"Ninjutsu is to be taken absolutely serious—as with anything dealing with chakra is. Ninjutsu requires you to use and mold chakra, but everyone has a finite amount. If you use it all, you die. Come close and you'll have chakra exhaustion—and then you'll wish you had died."
Yikes, Tora-sensei. Scary.
"We'll be starting with the transformation technique first—it requires the least chakra of the Academy Three to activate, moderate control, and a great deal of concentration. If you can get this jutsu to work the way you want it to, the other two will be simple."
Jūn-sensei instructs them to think of something, or someone, they want to transform into.
"The seals are as follows: Dog, Boar, Ram. Line up in front of either Jūn-sensei or me. Equally! I don't bite… jeez."
Tora-sensei and Jūn-sensei call a student forward from each line.
"Concentrate on what you want to transform into as you begin molding your chakra. Perform the seals accurately—speed can come later." Tora-sensei advises.
Honōka watches the other kids attempt the jutsu. There's a puff of smoke as they morph into what she assumes are not accurate representations of real people.
Jūn-sensei chuckles. "Don't forget to consider things like height."
"And weight. A true master of the transformation technique knows every detail of their transformation."
Every detail, huh? Honōka thinks she can do that. After all, she used to be someone else, and who would she know most intimately, if not herself from before this life?
She's confident until she hits a wall she hadn't realized existed. Her eyebrows scrunch behind her messy bangs.
Tachibana Tomoe. What did she look like again?
It's her turn. Her stomach drops.
What… what did Tachibana Tomoe look like? It hasn't been that long. (Six years.) She should be able to remember her own face.
For the last six years, the face she's worn and seen in reflections is the face of Tsunemori Honōka. The fifth child of the Tsunemori family and always the nail that sticks out. The only dark-haired child born to fair-haired parents. A child that does not resemble their parents is the child of an oni.
She… she had black hair and brown eyes… right? Before?
"Honōka-kun?" Jūn-sensei asks.
"Sorry. I forgot what I was trying to imagine."
"That's fine. Go to the back of the line and think about it some more."
163cm…51.6kg…
She thinks and thinks. She hated that she was in a little kid's body for so long, but now it just is what it is. What did it feel like to be fifteen again? How long were her fingers? What was her shoe size?
Clothes? What were the colors of her gakuran? Ah, never mind that. Her favorite dress, the one with the bow. Blue, pale blue—with a white ribbon around the waist and a red bow on the neck. Standing barefoot in the koi pond… her hair was long, silky and straight, back then.
"Honōka-kun, you're up. How's your mental image coming?"
"…it's okay."
Her face, though? What did it look like again?
Dog. Boar. Ram.
A flash of smoke and she feels herself melt from one form to the next—a small child to a teenage girl. A body that feels a little like a phantom limb. Something she should intimately know, but doesn't anymore.
There's a couple of frightened gasps and she frowns, or tries to. There's nothing there to frown with. She touches her not-face. There really is nothing there—no eyes, no nose, no mouth. She can still see, still breathe, still speak… There just isn't anything there.
It feels like static, looks like shadow. Eigengrau. The color you see in absence of light. Intrinsic grey. Visual noise.
"Ah… I think you forgot the face, Honōka-kun."
"…I can't remember what it looked like. I'm sorry, sensei." Even the voice is oddly distorted, like it's coming from the other side of a long corridor. If Jūn-sensei is creeped out by a voice coming from apparently nowhere, he doesn't let on.
"Don't worry about it! Pick something a little easier next time, okay?"
"Props for the dress," Tora-sensei praises. "I can see the weave and stitching."
He uses that point to explain to the class that an insufficient mental image will result in transformations that lack detail. Clothing that looks like plastic instead of real cloth is common.
She looks at what she created with her non-eyes. It looks, feels, identical. Then, the illusion snaps like a rubber band stretched too thin. She goes to stand with Rin and Obito. Her tongue tastes funny.
Obito wordlessly grasps her hand as Rin wipes her tears before they can fall.
"Are you okay, Honōka-chan?"
"…I didn't realize I was forgetting what—they—looked like."
"Someone you used to know…? Are they…?"
Are they dead? Well…
She nods.
Tachibana Tomoe is dead.
The rest of the week passes like an out-of-body experience.
Then it's September tenth and she doesn't even notice Kakashi isn't in class until he's coming in partway through the morning class, sporting the iconic hitai-ate of shinobi everywhere.
The class explodes in yelling and cheering and congratulations, and some kids shouting it's unfair. Obito doesn't join them, but it's a near thing.
He walks past her to give a sealed scroll to Jūn-sensei, then walks back.
They make eye contact for a split second and it's the first time in what feels like a very long time that she doesn't feel like she's stuck inside her own head.
Kakashi walks out the classroom door, a genin, and Honōka takes a deep breath.
Right. Tachibana Tomoe is dead. It's time for Tsunemori Honōka to live.