Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form if it did, it would still be an ongoing series haha – anyways a massive thank you to all the views on last chapter and the reviews, it means more than you will ever know, so thank you. And a massive shoutout to Guest, Natalia Jarrett, MaddieMiran, Leviheichu, Guest (mysteriousperson), Linda96 and Jesscc98 for the reviews it means the world to me
Sorry I've been in and out lately, I was working two jobs and was shattered and then I got depressed quite badly so I decided I needed a life change so quit one job and decided to go back to do uni – I'm doing literature and criminology BA Hons, with the aim to change to literature and creative writing BA Hons in year 2 because I really love writing and want to focus on developing that. Need to get back to my interests so yayyyyy
Afonso was right.
Her soul was broken, cracked apart from the trauma and torment of being torn from a dimension of death and torture to the living world that had abandoned her. Her body healed, replaced back to the state it was before death took over, her mind restored of the memories of her life but her soul? Her essence? What it meant to be unique and human? That was completely shattered. Some pieces remaining, fighting to make up for the loss and the others were left to remain in a torturous hell.
This broken soul was easily led astray, easily piggybacked by the darkness of hell, of what monstrous souls were trapped there wanting another chance to cause chaos and pain.
He shared another look with Deaton, conveying that their worst-case scenario was playing out right in front of their very eyes.
"What?" Stiles piped up, stepping forward and casting his arm out slightly across Kayla's mid-section, like he was trying to protect her, "what is it? What did you see?"
Afonso sighed, his hands dropping to his sides, "it's… difficult to explain… I would like to investigate some more-"
"You clearly know something" the young boy interrupted, frowning in dismay and worry, "what is it? What's wrong with her?"
He was worried, Afonso could tell. His worry and concern making him appear sharp and brittle, his tone laced with frustration. How could he tell them? Tell them that their friend, their love, was more broken than they ever expected.
He cast a glance to Kayla, surprisingly meeting her gaze that was trained on him. Instead of looking scared, or worried, she almost seemed… relieved. Like there was maybe, finally, an answer for why she was feeling this way.
Afonso let out another sigh, "the human soul is an absolute, unwavering essence. It resides in each of us but is unseen. It's energy. It's what completes us as individuals. If we go down a dark path, or get tarnished with life's traumas, we become disconnected from our soul, hiding behind rage and anger and bitterness"
"O-Okay so… so she's just disconnected from her soul then?" Stiles asked, hopeful that it was an easy fix. That the worst-case scenario wasn't a reality.
Afonso shook his head, "No, It isn't that simple. I was just explaining the basis of a soul and what it is. It appears that Kayla's soul…. Her energy… has broken apart"
The dark blonde boy, Isaac, let out a surprised noise, his presence hovering at the side-lines, "a soul can break? How?"
"It's rare" Afonso stated, "but I suspect because of multidimensional travel. A resurrection in itself is unusual and rarely successful, but a resurrection from an old and dangerous hell dimension is unpredictable. The concept of hell is to lock away the terrible and twisted souls and keep them there. So what those other encantados did, corrupting the natural order and breaking through dimensions where souls go to, not come from, have had damaging consequences. I sense that-" his heart was heavy as he looked at Kayla again, meeting her crestfallen stare, "-the trauma of coming back to life, the sheer pressure and damage to your soul has caused it to fracture. Break apart. Some pieces remain with you, but others…" he shook his head sadly, "I believe they remain trapped within that hell dimension you were stuck in"
… with almost no hope of getting them back, he thought, but not wanting to say that and crush their spirits anymore than they already were.
"Oh… okay…" Stiles mumbled, lifting a hand to scratch the back of his head as he tried to understand what was being said to them, "so… so all we have to do is get them back and she'll be good as new right?"
Afonso simply shook his head, "It is not that simple I'm afraid-"
"Then make it that simple" Stiles interrupted, his worry and fear brimming to the surface, "that's what you're here for"
Surprisingly, before Afonso could reply, Kayla simply touched his arm as a way to calm him down and glanced between Afonso and Deaton, curiosity shining in her gaze.
"I-Is that wh-why I f-f-feel… feel… d-dark?" she wondered, "w-why I feel wr-wrong?"
Afonso's heart ached with sympathy for this young girl, for a girl that was once full of life but was now just a broken empty shell of herself, of everything she had the potential and determination to be.
Afonso dipped his head in agreement, "a broken soul is… very susceptible to corruption and darkness, particularly when traveling through hell dimensions. The things down there-" Afonso shivered, "-are evil beyond words. If they sense there's a breach, a weakness in the walls that keep them in their never-ending torment, they will try anything they can to get out too. That darkness that you felt upon returning, that same darkness you feel now, I suspect it is from whatever deranged souls were down there trying to latch onto yours and, as such, left marks – like handprints if you wish. These marks are… powerful" he added delicately, "they poison the good. Snuff the light out of people's souls"
"So um…" the tall boy gulped, casting a nervous look towards Kayla, "… does this mean Kayla could turn evil again?"
Afonso watched as Kayla's eyes went wide with that realisation, the panic and fear evident on her face as she peered at Afonso, her eyes begging him to tell her that wasn't true, that she wasn't ever going to revert back to that person.
He sighed heavily, "I can't say for sure but… yes… it is a possibility. In fact, I am amazed that, despite everything, you were somehow able to start feeling again. To push away the darkness. I have not heard of that being possible. How were you able to do it?" he questioned, his head tilting to the side with deep set curiosity and awe.
Kayla swallowed thickly, glancing nervously between a visibly upset Stiles and an anxious Isaac, lifting her shoulder into a half hearted shrug, "I… I don't k-know. It… It was j-j-just like… I f-felt nothing, I di-didn't care and-and then… things s-started to ma-matter"
"We reminded you" Isaac nodded before his eyes darted to Stiles, "Stiles reminded you. He didn't give up" 'not like I did' Afonso read from Isaac's expression, the sharpness of guilt panging in his bright blue gaze.
"… You still had links to your humanity" Afonso muttered in afterthought, realisation blatant in his tone, "the good in you couldn't be extinguished, not entirely"
"B-But enough" she murmured, "e-enough that I… I k-k-killed… I hu-hurt…"
"It wasn't you, not really" Afonso reassured, "you were poisoned with darkness, corrupted by the very worst forces of all dimensions. Your soul, shattered because of others actions, not your own. You didn't bring yourself back to this world Kayla… the others did. And they invoked the darkest of magic to do it. You were damned from the moment that spell was successful and took hold"
Every word he said was true. It was amazing what you could learn from the power of a soul.
"So what do we do now?" Stiles asked in worry, "how do we fix this? She can't live without pieces of her soul!"
"Actually, it's quite possible" Afonso corrected, "but it just means there may be side effects. Or consequences"
"Like turning evil again?" Stiles demanded, "no, that isn't happening. I won't let that happen"
"I'm sure Afonso and I could do a bit of digging, try and find a way to… fix this" Deaton said, the first time he had spoken since the blow of this news, "isn't that right Afonso?"
Afonso wasn't sure if anything could be done, but he inclined his head into a nod anyway, not willing to dash out the little bit of hope they had left.
"I can stay as long as you need me" he reassured, "and in the meantime, I'd like to visit where it all happened. Your resurrection" he clarified, "invoking that level of magic and breaking the dimensional barriers will have left a mark, maybe even a weakness in the dimensional walls"
"… I can take you" Isaac murmured when no one else said nothing, "it's not far from here"
Afonso inclined his head into a small nod, giving the boy a thankful smile.
"Thank you, that is much appreciated"
"I can drive, of course" Deaton added, knowing Isaac was still yet to have a car, or know how to drive for that matter, "Beacon Hills isn't the best place to be walking about after dark"
"Okay but wait wait wait-" Stiles threw out his arms, complete panic in his voice, "-you can't just spring this on us and then leave. There's still so much we don't know. Don't understand!" he exclaimed, "what is actually going on?"
Afonso sympathised with his situation. He was so young yet so burdened with responsibility and his emotions. The love he felt for her meant he was so invested and so overwhelmed, like the pieces of his soul were with Kayla and he was suffering with her.
"As simply as I can put it…" Afonso said, "Kayla is here. Living and breathing in the earthly plane with us. But when she wasn't here, when her existence was living within a hell dimension, her soul went through a lot of trauma. That made it weak, the light of it dimmed so to speak" he explained cautiously, "and when those other encantados used dark magic to break through, it broke apart her soul. Fragmented it into pieces. Some of those pieces still remain with her, others I believe are trapped in that same hell dimension. The pieces that remain with her were tainted with hell's dark influence, that is why I believe Kayla came back emotionless and… bad" he said delicately, "she took some of hell back with her"
The tension in the animal clinic was overwhelming, each person still stunned at the revelation. Having gone months without being aware of what was really going on, what was causing it, and beginning to blame Kayla for her actions when – in reality – she wasn't really herself. She wasn't in control. Not until her humanity began to win over the darkness.
"So why… why is she good? If that darkness is still there, how can she feel?"
"Because the goodness in her soul, despite fractured, is still strong" Afonso replied, "it's smothering that darkness. Her humanity, her emotions, are strong enough to handle it now because you all helped show her"
"… I… I…" Kayla begun to say, her eyes swimming with unshed tears, "I w-w-wasn't really m-me?" she asked quietly.
"You weren't you" Afonso reassured her, "you were taken over by hell's darkness but you managed to gain control again. Be proud of that"
"I… I d-don't want it in-in-inside me" she shook her head sadly, "I c-can't have i-i-it in-inside me"
"I will find a way to cleanse you" he reassured, knowing all the best cleanses and exorcisms, "you won't have to burden it much longer child, I promise you"
His promise appeared to reassure her a little bit but she still looked distressed and anxious, her eyes brimming with stricken tears as she wrung her hands together in fear – fear that she would be that person again.
"If it helps reassure you a little child-" Afonso leaned forward, catching Kayla's stare, "-I don't think you're in any danger of letting the darkness consume you again. Your soul may be broken but you have complete control of yourself at this moment. Your humanity is strong, remember that"
She nodded but still looked anxious, uncertainty and fear sticking to her expression like a moth to a flame.
Afonso looked over to Stiles, sensing their connection and yearning for one another as strong as the sting of the fluorescent lights overhead, "you should take her home Stiles, Isaac and Alan and I will take it from here"
Stiles immediately nodded, gently guiding Kayla away and coaxing her from the clinic but she turned around at the front entrance, trying for a small smile.
"T-Thank you" she whispered, "I-I-I really a-a-apr…a-aprecia…" she begun to look a little frustrated at her lack of ability to form words, closing her eyes momentarily to calm herself down, "I… It means a-a lot" she settled on saying, trying for a smile before allowing Stiles to lead her away.
A warmth spend through Afonso's chest at that, smiling as he watched her leave. He may have only spent a month with her in the rainforest that long while ago, but the effect she had on him and his entire tribe would last generations. He was just glad that he had the chance to make things right for her.
When he was sure she was out of ear shot he turned to Alan and Isaac, "I think the sooner we get to her grave the better. It's already been months since the spell, and I don't want to waste anymore time for the energy mark to dwindle anymore"
Alan nodded, "let me just grab my car keys"
"You know…" Isaac spoke up, quirking a brow at Afonso, "the way you were speaking about Kayla's grave being a weakness in the dimensional barriers… it sounded like you were proposing to use that place to break back into hell?" he chuckled as he finished that sentence, obviously finding it too out there and probably a stupid idea to even contemplate.
Afonso simply smiled, "if you want the pieces of your friends' soul back, then that is something we may have to do"
Isaac's face dropped, "wait, what? Isn't that dangerous?"
He simply shrugged, "we will need to weigh up the pros and cons. Either try and get your friends' entire soul back and maybe risk bringing something worse back in the process, or leaving the pieces of her soul in a hell dimension forever to get tortured and broken some more"
"I mean… I'm up for trying anything" Isaac declared, "she's suffered enough"
Afonso could not agree more but he knew if they were to do this… if they were to try and reunite the pieces of her soul, it could have very dire consequences indeed.
Stiles did not quite know how to process all of which he just learnt.
All these months he had just assumed Kayla was back normal, but damaged. Traumatised. He didn't even think – didn't even consider – there was ill effects from coming back to life. Maybe because Peter returned and nothing had changed with him, he was still the massive dick he was before. How could he not realise, not think, that she came back wrong? Came back incomplete?
He had let her down, yet again.
He was meant to be the person that knew her the best – knew every inch of her mind, body and soul but he just proved that wasn't true. Not anymore.
They sat in his jeep outside the animal clinic in silence. Not moving, barely breathing. Soaking up all what was said to them, trying to make some sort of sense of it. Trying to understand the repercussions of what was happening. It was too much to understand for Stiles, let alone Kayla. He couldn't imagine how much this already turned her chaotic world even more upside down.
"That was… a lot" Stiles said shakily, staring out the windscreen that spits of rain had started to drip onto, the haze of streetlights assaulting his vision, "I didn't even know something like this was possible"
From his peripheral vision he saw her shaking her head slowly, her hands twisting together in her lap, an anxious and nervous tik that she always carried with her these days. Yet he didn't dare look at her, too scared in case she was disappointed in him for not noticing, for not helping her before like he always promised.
"Have you… I mean… did you ever hear of something like this? Any stories or myths from Talia? Or your family?"
Again, she shook her head, staying silent. A very Kayla thing to do these days – be quiet.
Stiles swallowed thickly, a million thoughts and worries racing through his brain, like his neurons were on speed. He worried and fretted that, this time, they wouldn't know how to fix it. Fix her. That the consequences were just far too big this time. Maybe – just maybe – people really weren't meant to come back from the dead.
He shook his head, forcing that thought from his brain. No. It wasn't fair to think like that. He couldn't think like that, not about his Kayla. She deserved to be here just as much as everyone else… she saved his life. He was here, and alive, because of her. If it wasn't for her, he would be suffering an eternal torment in hell with the nogtisune. She sacrificed her life and her sanity for him, he needed to find a way to help her.
"We'll find a way to fix this" he promised strongly, "we always do"
His tone was certain and unwavering, a forever vow he would keep till he took his last breath.
"M-Maybe…" she whispered, her gaze unfocused and tormented, sitting slouched in the seat whilst her broken brain tried to understand and fathom the consequences of what had been discovered.
"What do you mean maybe?" he asked sharply, a little too defensively as she jumped ever so slightly, "we will. We always do. This isn't any different"
She sighed, like the weight of the world was resting heavy on her shoulders, "b-b-but it i-is… o-other existences… h-hell… it's… it's… hard" she settled on saying, "i-it's… unknown"
"Then we'll make it known" Stiles said, "we'll find out everything we possibly can about other realities, dimensions, heaven, hell, purgatory you name it, we'll find out about it and we will fix your soul. I promise"
"I-It's dangerous" her voice was wavering with worry, "it c-could be r-r-really da-dangerous for y-you all"
"And every one of our friends will be willing to take that risk" Stiles promised, "I am willing to take that risk for you. You're worth it… please understand that"
A single tear rolled down her sullen cheek but he caught it with his thumb, letting it linger on the tip before gently swiping it away, reaching out to cup her cheek and turn her face towards his, their tortured eyes meeting.
"We will fix this" he repeated, "we will help you no matter what. Believe me on that"
"S-Scared… s-s-scared this i-is… is how I-I'll always be" her voice cracked, feeling safe enough in his presence to open up, "I.. I don't w-want to b-be br-broken forever"
"I won't let that happen…" he gently stroked her cheek, trying for a small smile, "I know this isn't the right time, and you have enough on your plate but… but I… I love you" he declared, the only thing he was sure about in this crazy world, his heart feeling warm and happy as he said those words, "I still love you… so much… that's never changed, and it won't, ever. I love you more than life itself… and I will do anything to help you"
It was probably selfish of him to say this, to offload his emotions to her but he felt like it needed to be said. This awkward, unknowing energy between them was making his skin itch. She deserved to know how he felt. It may help her believe how badly they all wanted to help her.
His hand was still encasing her cheek, his eyes locked onto hers as her eyebrows raised ever so slightly, eyes unblinking and wide as she analysed his expression, trying to process and understand the meaning of his words.
"Y-You… You st-still… love m-me?" she mumbled, breathless and completely overwhelmed, "e-even like th-this?"
"Especially like this" he reassured her, "I love everything you've ever been and everything you have yet to become. The good and the bad. The strong and the vulnerable. I love you… I love your soul, which is why I'm going to help fix it, because I can't stand the thought of the parts of you that I love being stuck somewhere so… bleak" he settled on saying, shivering at the thought of the torturous hell dimension she had been trapped in all to save him.
She was speechless, he could tell, her tormented and broken brain trying to come up with something to say but remaining quiet but he didn't need her to say anything. For the first time in a long time he was content with where they were – even if he wasn't exactly sure where that was.
"You don't have to say it back" he reassured, "you don't even have to feel it if you don't want to… I just needed you to know that's where I stand. You've always got me okay?"
She nodded, her lips upturning ever so slightly as he settled on pressing a faint kiss to her hairline, soaking in her warmth and scent for a few seconds of blissful peace, getting lost in the past, before forcing himself to tear away from her body, keeping their boundaries in check.
"How about we get you home huh? It's been a long night"
She nodded in agreement, her eyes heavy with tiredness as she settled back in her seat and he leaned forward to turn on his engine, twisting the lights to full beam and almost letting out a shriek as the lights illuminated a figure standing directly in front of the jeep, shoulders hunched over in the rain.
For just a brief second he thought he was seeing ghosts, that Aiden had come back to haunt him but then he remembered he had made contact with Ethan through Danny's phone a couple of days ago in an effort to catch Theo out on his lies.
He quickly glanced at Kayla who had noticed him too but she didn't seem shocked, she appeared almost sad, a small frown etched between her brows. Maybe, just maybe, she thought she was seeing things again. Thought, through the hazy rain, that it was Aiden standing there. Maybe she put it down to her illness.
He kicked himself for not telling her, for not warning her of Ethan's potential return but he didn't know he would show up. He didn't expect much when it came to Ethan, especially given his disappearing act for the last nine months, but he should've still prepared her just in case…
He steadied out his breathing, opening the jeep door and lankily climbing out, standing awkwardly with the door open, blinking as droplets of rain hit his face and he lifted a hand to rest against his forehead, shielding him.
"Uh… I guess you know it wasn't Danny that messaged you huh?"
But Ethan wasn't focused on him, in fact he acted like he hadn't even spoken, his whole demeanour focused on Kayla who was sitting in the passenger seat, her face etched with confusion, probably wondering why Stiles was talking to someone that – she assumed – only she could see.
"Um…" Stiles mumbled, staring between the two who were looking at each other in equal perplexity, "I have so much explaining to do right now"
Ethan was rooted to the spot, his eyes lapping up the vision of his past friend who he thought, up until this moment, was dead. Completely and utterly lost for words as he tried to understand what was happening, his whole life – yet again – turning upside down.
Ethan took the smallest of steps forward, placing his hands on the hood of the jeep as he stared through the window, "K-Kayla?"
Stiles winced as he watched Kayla slowly come to the realisation that this wasn't a hallucination, that the person standing just a few feet in front of her wasn't her ex boyfriend, the father of her dead baby but in fact his twin brother, the one she had a connection with that no one would be able to understand.
"E-E… E-Ethan?" she mumbled, barely audible as she sat up straighter in her seat, her hand subconsciously reaching for the door handle, like she was drawn to being nearer to him.
"But… but you're dead" Ethan managed to say through his bouts of laboured breathing, "You're dead, like Aiden, I… I saw you"
"Uh, funny story actually-" Stiles interrupted, cutting through the turbulent tension with a strained laugh, "-her crazy murderous cousins resurrected her like, months ago so, uh, not dead. Well… um… I suppose it isn't really that funny"
Kayla had finally managed to open the jeep door, almost falling out with the daze she was in, keeping a hold of the metal frame as she took a couple of hesitant steps out, not bothered by the rain assaulting her skin.
"Y-You're b-b-back" she mumbled, completely in awe.
"Right back at you" Ethan managed to say, swallowing down his bewilderment as he finally smiled, a beaming smile of happiness that Stiles wasn't even sure Ethan was capable of feeling, "oh god, I missed you so much"
In the blink of an eye, Ethan had rushed forward to scoop Kayla into a hug – something Stiles was sure she would feel uncomfortable by – but to his surprise, she wasn't. She hugged him back before bursting into tears.
Ethan consoled her and all Stiles could do was watch helplessly by the sidelines. Why were things so awkward between all of them and Kayla but as soon as the ex bad guy was back in their lives, she was relaxed? Stiles frowned, watching as Kayla pulled back slightly, looking up at Ethan.
"A-Aiden is at p-p-peace. He's ha-happy" she blurted out, unable to keep the words in, "I-I saw him… w-we died and h-he moved on. H-He's safe"
Ethan face began to crumble, creasing with tormented and everlasting grief, "you saw him?"
"H-His soul is w-w-warm. He's a-a-at peace. He's ok-okay. H-He's okay"
Ethan buried his face into her shoulder, pulling her back into another hug and Stiles suddenly felt like he was intruding on a very intense and private moment he shouldn't be. Aiden wasn't his problem, he didn't love him like Kayla and Ethan did, he didn't share the same ties with him that they did… he didn't even know Kayla had shared a moment with Aiden's soul, spirit, whatever when they both died within minutes of each other. She only felt comfortable saying that to Ethan, not him.
Stiles sighed and lowered his head, giving them privacy with their reunion for a few minutes until finally Ethan looked over in his direction, his eyes surprisingly kind and empathic.
"I guess I have a lot to catch up on"
Stiles snorted at the complete understatement of that sentence, knowing all the things he had missed would completely blow his mind, "Yeah… just a tad"
A/N) I got my groove back people yassssss… just been going through a lot of changes but I already have some of the next chapter typed up so yayyyy, so not too long to wait… please please please leave a review and let me know what you thought it means the world, thank you xoxo