Title: Crucible
Pairing: Implied F!Shepard x Thane
Warnings: Recounting canon game violence
Summary: Shepard makes her choice in the Crucible.
Word Count: 571
Three choices. It all came down to three choices. Control the Reapers, merge organic and synthetic life, or destroy the Reapers. Each choice came with a consequence she did not accept.
As noble as it would be to take control of the Reapers and act as a vanguard for all time, she struggled to trust it would be that simple. That she could remain uncorrupted by power or iImmune to influence. How many before had tried and failed to control the Reapers? She had no interest in eternal life, regardless of the form. She had experienced enough death and loss in her short thirty-odd years to know she did not want to spend eternity watching everyone she loved die, no matter how noble the cause may be.
Synthesis would grant her the freedom of death. She had accepted that the war would likely be the end of her and had made peace with that early on even looked forward to it at times. The idea of forcing this evolution of everyone in the galaxy didn't sit well with her. She couldn't choose that fate.
That left her with the last option: destroy the Reapers. Ultimately, that's what they had all set out to do, but the collateral damage involved gave her pause. All synthetic life would be destroyed. Not just the Reapers but the Geth and Edi as well.
Peace on Rannoch had only just begun. Legion, her friend and teammate had sacrificed himself to achieve true independence for the Geth. What value was she showing his sacrifice by destroying the Geth as well?
Edi had been exploring her own experiences and finding humanity in them. The team was family to her as much as it was to Shepard. Earth was her home. She and Joker found genuine love. And now, to complete the mission they had set out to do, she had to sacrifice them. The ruthless calculus of war.
Was the Catalyst lying? She couldn't be sure.
For all their work and planning. All the old wars buried for the sake of everyone's future. The sacrifices. The catastrophic losses. They achieved the impossible for a united future only to have it distilled down into three choices, none of which provided the expected solution without significant sacrifice. And it was a choice she had to make on her own, a burden she would have to carry and atone for.
The overlapping voices of ghosts clouded her mind.
And when you go to the sea...Thane whispered to her.
If you're fighting a bear and the only way to survive is to sic your dog on it and run...Williams asserted over him.
Does this unit...Legion's lingering question echoed.
...you do it. As much as you love your dog...Williams continued.
...I'll be waiting for you...Thane reassured.
...have a soul? Legion died knowing the truth.
It isn't human. Ashley was always so certain.
At the shore. Thane's voice echoed as it faded away.
Maybe this time she would die for good. Maybe the fire would take her to the sea where she would face penance for her sins and maybe, maybe reunite with Thane again.
Her pistol fired. Flames grew. She fired again and again until she ran into the inferno. If she was going to go to Hell for the choices she made, she was determined to take the Reapers with her.
An end, once and for all.